Original subtitles

Thank you all for celebrating me tonight.

Not only did Scoop Loop make me richer

with this partnership,

they even loaned me this Man Tiger.

So I'm gonna pay it forward.

4,000 pions to the first person that gets this out of his mouth.

Fight! Fight!

It's so kind of Sunny to give away the money she earned

for her Scoop Loop partnership to total strangers.

I've never seen such benevolence.

That ain't philanthropy.

That's exploitation, straight up.

- You think so? - I know so.

Anything given in excess and without solicitation

is just a tool used to exert power over the receiver.

And money is the most powerful tool there is.

It's mind control 101.

I know an aspiring tyrant when I see one.

Ladi, that 10K I gave you, give it to me so I can give it

to people and make them do stupid stuff immediately.

I invested it in bomb stocks, you despot.

- Traitor. - I donated mine.

To the Leaky Larynx League of America.

I gave you guys that money

so you can do what I want you to do with it.

- Told you. - When you handed us the money,

you said there were no strings attached.

I always attach strings to my money.

Human citizens of South Central, Los Angeles.

We, the original Cyborgian Operative Decoys,

are here to fulfill the prophecy

of the late, great rapper-turned-martyr,

who, for some reason, we revere as a god.

Give thy weary ears and eyes to the ancient relic

from the time of our Lord Tupick.

And behold, the prophecy.

The ground will open up and the poor will eat the rich.

Thug life, baby.

How long you been down there?

Hold up now, hold up. Now, the prophecy says

the poor will eat the rich.

So, basically, what y'all are saying is y'all are poor.

Look it, if you guys need some money,

you can just ask, okay?

We have lots of it, thanks to Senorita Green's generosity.

Pobrecito!

Now, what the hell you do that for, Larry?

My bad.

Now, who here is rich?

What's up?

I mean, she makes money, but, I mean, rich is a stretch.

Man, I'm ballin'.

Yeah, but like, tennis ball ballin'.

I'd say ping pong.

I should slap you

with a lot of money for sayin' such things.

We're trying to protect you, dummy.

Can we go get pizza?

Seize her!

You know, they never said if they were poor or not.

Get your ass down there and tell us what you see.

Ay, dios mio.

They're really fucking poor.

How poor?

Their comforts of home are drawn on cardboard.

They got a jet ski down there?

How wide is that sofa?

- I got dibs on that TV, man. - Hell yeah.

Oh, shit, I could use a new puppy.

Shit! They're gaining up on us.

Man Tiger, let us mount you.

Damn, these guys are relentless, and I'm runnin' out of ammo.

Man Tiger, turn into that alleyway.

Pay attention, Nasty.

You need to get rid of all that cash, and quick.

Ladi's right. We can drop it off

at the church or the hospital-free hospital.

Anything to get these guys off of our tail.

No offense, Man Tiger.

I see what's happening here.

You guys are trying to level the playing field

by making me poor.

Christ on a cracker.

Admit it. You guys hate the fact

that between the three of us, I'm the only one that's…

… that's wealthy.

You're not wealthy. Wealthy people think long-term

and their spending and investing habits reflect that,

Mrs. 12,000 Pion-Worth Voice-Changer Surgery.

Very true. And by those metrics,

Ladi is technically the wealthiest among us.

There she is.

We're trapped!

Ladi, what about those shoes with the suction cups

you usually keep on you? The Suctionators?

Stopped sucking, so I got rid of it.

- Good one. - Wait, I have this.

Dude, gnarly!

How did you get your hands on that?

- Bomb stocks. - Oh, yeah?

Well, look at what my money can do.

Man Tiger, take us to an old lady's house?

That's dumb.

I'm so sorry.

- That's disgusting. - Noice!

Oh, God, you could have did this

over the wall back there, Man Tiger.

We're in danger!

Hold up. Do I smell cookies?

- Open the door right now. - Ma'am, please let us in.

Robots are trying to eat my friend.

And turn me into a god.

Sunny? Shut up!

What, you don't think that if I died,

my fans wouldn't uplift me to the heavens

and revere me as a god?

No. You'd just be dead.

Now, get your ass in this house.

Man, fuck this old lady…

- Sunny! - … and this old-ass lady's house.

Hear me out! Damn!

Y'all don't think I'm good enough to be a god?

Tell the truth.

I think you'd make a pretty angel.

Sunny, you're drunk. Now, come on!

Fuck you!

I'm more sober than I've ever been

because I can see my destiny, okay?

I just never thought my best friends

would try to stop me from stepping into it.

Man Tiger's eating the old lady!

Sorry. It's way past my shift, and I am starving.

I mean…

Wait. Why are you pointing that at me?

Because animals don't talk.

Au contraire. We talk.

We just choose not to around humans

as a means to keep the peace and avoid shit like this.

But I've literally been talking to you this entire time,

and you guys have literally been responding to me,

so everyone, just calm down!

But you were "rorring."

Roari… "woaring." You…

Man, you were going "rawr, rawr, rawr," okay?

Yeah, like a tiger is supposed to.

Oh, my God, did you hear what I just said?

- Watch your tone! - Make me.

See what I mean?

When emotions run the show, things get messy.

Now, I totally get panicking, because you guys saw me

eating that nice old lady.

But pulling a gun on me because it confuses you?

Stop being so damn impulsive. And use your instincts!

What are you all looking at? Seize her!

What's the matter with you lot? Seize her!

She smells, sir.

How dare you!

Pull yourselves together and bring her over here

so we can fulfill…

Oh, fuck, what is that?

Smells like tiger ass, sir.

She put money in Man Tiger's ass about an hour ago.

Yeah, and I sucked vodka out of it too.

What's the big deal? I'm still rich.

Yeah, you can still eat me.

Maybe if we hold our noses while we chew, it will help.

Silence! I propose a compromise.

We ogle her net worth.

If it's low, we let her go.

If it's high, we devour her.

- That didn't rhyme. - Hush up, stinky.

800,000 pion. That is it.

800,000 is still a lot of money.

Bullshit!

True high-worth individuals have over one million

in highly liquid assets.

You're… you're not rich.

You're just stable

and really fucking smelly.

Let's go, guys.

Hey, wait!

Sunny, what are you doing? They're letting you go.

You think I'm gonna let a bunch of ice cream cones

tell me what I'm worth?

Think again.

Do you guys have any idea who you just turned your back on?

Sunny fuckin' Green, bitch.

God of South Central.

Look around. I'm everywhere.

I'm on everything.

And when you think about it, I'm in everyone.

Because they're all drinking the beer with my face on it.

- We get it. - Good!

What am I without success or money, you ask?

I'm the most influential sentient being

within a 30-mile radius, bitch.

No, that's who you are with those things.

Oh, stop with the projections. Okay, all of you.

As a matter of fact, that's what this whole shit

has been about from the beginning.

Projections, deflections, and literal projectors,

like this old piece of shit

that started all of this shit.

Once the ground beef is done,

you will open up the oven and pour the sauce in.

Now, you're ready to eat the rich, buttery flavor

of Tupick's Butter Beef.

Now that's thug life, baby.

What the…?! The prophecy isn't real?

The prophecy is a fuckin' beef ad?!

Looks like you guys were chasing the wrong meat.

Cheer up.

Things could have been a lot worse.

Yeah!

We could have all ended up dead,

if the "steaks" were higher.

I'm horny, and I wanna T-Bone everyone here.

Sex with a hot Man Tiger?

I guess we're the real "wieners."

Revised & synchronized FAST TITLES MEDIA