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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:49,750 www.titlovi.com 2 00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:55,685 - Hi. How are you? - I'm good. Thanks. 3 00:00:55,687 --> 00:00:57,280 Who do I make this out to? 4 00:00:57,282 --> 00:00:59,493 Uh, Bobbi with an "I". 5 00:01:02,628 --> 00:01:04,991 In the prologue, you say you wrote this book 6 00:01:04,993 --> 00:01:07,963 in order to better understand and accept death. 7 00:01:08,337 --> 00:01:09,193 Um... 8 00:01:09,195 --> 00:01:11,030 Yeah. It feels unnatural to me. 9 00:01:11,032 --> 00:01:14,439 I can't accept that something alive has to die. 10 00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:15,970 Thank you. 11 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,409 - Ingrid... - Mm. 12 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,806 We've fulfilled the hour. 13 00:01:18,808 --> 00:01:20,038 I mean, in fact, we've gone over. 14 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,513 Well, there's still a lot of people waiting. 15 00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:24,614 Yes. We'll do what you want. 16 00:01:24,616 --> 00:01:25,714 Could you sign mine? 17 00:01:25,716 --> 00:01:27,914 Stella! I didn't see you. 18 00:01:27,916 --> 00:01:29,949 Why didn't you come straight up? 19 00:01:29,951 --> 00:01:31,423 I was embarrassed. 20 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,457 You draw a crowd! 21 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,953 - A lot of young people. - Thank you. 22 00:01:33,955 --> 00:01:35,185 Not just women. 23 00:01:35,187 --> 00:01:37,286 Stella, this is Anne. Anne, my friend Stella. 24 00:01:37,288 --> 00:01:38,760 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 25 00:01:38,762 --> 00:01:40,399 I'm gonna stay until I've signed for everybody. 26 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,501 Yes. I'll just make sure no one else joins the line. 27 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,865 Okay. 28 00:01:44,867 --> 00:01:47,230 Oh, I haven't seen you in forever. 29 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,803 I'm living in Boston now. 30 00:01:48,805 --> 00:01:49,969 I came to see my son, 31 00:01:49,971 --> 00:01:52,611 and to visit Martha in the hospital. 32 00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:55,941 You know she has cancer, right? 33 00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:57,140 It's a bad one. 34 00:01:57,142 --> 00:01:58,306 Martha? 35 00:01:58,308 --> 00:01:59,483 Martha Hunt? 36 00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:00,275 Yes. 37 00:02:00,277 --> 00:02:02,112 She's at Manhattan Memorial Cancer Center. 38 00:02:02,114 --> 00:02:03,454 I thought you would've heard. 39 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,522 No. To be honest, I haven't seen her in years. 40 00:02:05,524 --> 00:02:07,623 Martha is sick? I can't imagine it. 41 00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:10,758 If you go see her, it'll make her very happy. 42 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,320 Yeah. Of course. 43 00:02:12,322 --> 00:02:13,464 Of course I will. 44 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:17,468 Um, thank you so much for coming. I really appreciate it. 45 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,403 Congratulations. 46 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,437 - Thank you. - Mm! 47 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:20,702 - I'll see you soon. - Thanks. 48 00:02:20,704 --> 00:02:22,365 - Bye. - Bye. 49 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,237 Hi. 50 00:02:27,271 --> 00:02:30,582 - Who do I make this out to? - Frances. 51 00:02:30,912 --> 00:02:33,913 - Is that you? - No, it's my girlfriend. 52 00:02:33,915 --> 00:02:35,551 She really admires you. 53 00:02:35,553 --> 00:02:37,951 - So do I. - Thank you. 54 00:02:40,382 --> 00:02:44,287 Could you write "It won't happen again"? 55 00:02:46,289 --> 00:02:48,058 Of course I can. 56 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:51,470 Yes. Thank you. It won't happen again. 57 00:02:53,329 --> 00:02:54,803 I hope not. 58 00:03:10,049 --> 00:03:12,687 Hi. I'm here to see Martha Hunt. 59 00:03:12,689 --> 00:03:14,821 I think she's on the 16th floor. 60 00:03:14,823 --> 00:03:16,626 Okay. One sec. 61 00:03:18,661 --> 00:03:20,320 Yes. Room 1614. 62 00:03:20,322 --> 00:03:23,092 The elevator is at the end of the hall, on the left. 63 00:03:23,094 --> 00:03:24,258 - Thanks. - No problem. 64 00:03:46,854 --> 00:03:48,251 Martha? 65 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,660 Ingrid! 66 00:03:51,287 --> 00:03:53,320 What a surprise! 67 00:03:53,322 --> 00:03:55,762 - How did you hear? - I ran into Stella. 68 00:03:55,764 --> 00:03:58,159 - She told me. - Oh. 69 00:03:58,161 --> 00:04:01,162 I'm so sorry, I didn't even know you were sick. 70 00:04:01,164 --> 00:04:04,132 Oh, well, you with your work and me with mine. 71 00:04:04,134 --> 00:04:06,937 I mean, time's gotten away from us. 72 00:04:06,939 --> 00:04:08,334 Yes, and I was living in Paris. 73 00:04:08,336 --> 00:04:11,304 Yeah, I heard. I've been reading about you. 74 00:04:11,306 --> 00:04:13,746 I know you have published another book 75 00:04:13,748 --> 00:04:15,715 and it's doing very well. 76 00:04:15,717 --> 00:04:17,884 Thank you. 77 00:04:18,082 --> 00:04:19,523 So... 78 00:04:20,117 --> 00:04:21,721 How are you? 79 00:04:21,723 --> 00:04:24,889 I'm sure you're sick of telling everybody. 80 00:04:24,891 --> 00:04:28,189 Well, it's cervical cancer. Stage three. 81 00:04:28,191 --> 00:04:31,225 It isn't operable, but they're treating me, so... 82 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:34,294 looks like I'm not gonna die quite yet. 83 00:04:34,296 --> 00:04:39,639 Um, I've become a guinea pig for an experimental treatment 84 00:04:39,641 --> 00:04:42,774 and the results are better than the doctors expected. 85 00:04:42,776 --> 00:04:43,775 - Great! - Yeah. 86 00:04:43,777 --> 00:04:46,503 That's great! Well, you seem like you're in good spirits. 87 00:04:46,505 --> 00:04:50,045 Well, I swing between euphoria and depression. 88 00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:51,849 Oh, I'm so sorry. 89 00:04:51,851 --> 00:04:52,751 No, it's normal, 90 00:04:52,753 --> 00:04:55,479 and the doctors warned me, you know. 91 00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:57,560 - Highs and lows. - Mm-hmm. 92 00:04:58,022 --> 00:04:59,485 Mm-hmm. 93 00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:00,891 It'll sound absurd, 94 00:05:00,893 --> 00:05:06,798 but after all the accepting and preparing to face the end, 95 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,867 survival feels almost disappointing. 96 00:05:09,869 --> 00:05:11,033 Oh, don't say that. 97 00:05:11,035 --> 00:05:13,576 No, I was prepared to leave. 98 00:05:15,237 --> 00:05:19,876 In fact, when they gave me the initial diagnosis, 99 00:05:19,878 --> 00:05:21,009 I didn't want any treatment. 100 00:05:21,011 --> 00:05:23,409 Well, I'm glad you changed your mind. 101 00:05:23,816 --> 00:05:27,048 'Cause, you know, just the thought... 102 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:28,588 And that I wouldn't know... 103 00:05:28,590 --> 00:05:31,316 Anyway, I realized that I really... 104 00:05:31,318 --> 00:05:35,628 I'm not ready to abandon the party just yet. 105 00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:39,632 But I had truly gotten used to the idea. 106 00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:42,899 Well, I suppose that it's good to get used to the idea, 107 00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:45,231 but without giving up, right? 108 00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:47,741 You've been through a lot of wars, remember? 109 00:05:48,005 --> 00:05:50,535 I live with them every day. 110 00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:55,648 Oh, Ingrid, I'm so happy to see you. 111 00:05:55,650 --> 00:05:58,244 I almost called you a thousand times. 112 00:05:58,246 --> 00:05:59,476 - I'm sorry. - Me, too! 113 00:05:59,478 --> 00:06:01,180 It's ridiculous that we haven't seen each other. 114 00:06:01,182 --> 00:06:04,414 I promise I'm gonna visit until you get sick of me. 115 00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:05,822 Will you? 116 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,021 You promise? 117 00:06:07,023 --> 00:06:08,627 I'm gonna hold you to that. 118 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,928 Your daughter knows, I guess. 119 00:06:11,731 --> 00:06:13,128 Yes. 120 00:06:13,524 --> 00:06:18,230 When I first made up my mind to forgo any treatment, 121 00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:19,871 I told her... 122 00:06:20,564 --> 00:06:22,643 and she just said... 123 00:06:22,907 --> 00:06:24,711 "It's your choice. " 124 00:06:25,536 --> 00:06:26,535 Period. 125 00:06:26,537 --> 00:06:29,340 As if it was something trivial, 126 00:06:29,342 --> 00:06:32,279 something that had nothing to do with her. 127 00:06:33,115 --> 00:06:34,950 How are you two getting along? 128 00:06:34,952 --> 00:06:37,018 Um, same as ever. 129 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,547 We're barely in touch. 130 00:06:38,549 --> 00:06:40,021 What does she do? 131 00:06:40,023 --> 00:06:41,021 She's doing well. 132 00:06:41,023 --> 00:06:45,258 She's, uh, an agent for classical musicians. 133 00:06:47,799 --> 00:06:49,867 It might sound horrible, 134 00:06:50,626 --> 00:06:54,465 but I don't feel like she's my daughter. 135 00:06:55,202 --> 00:06:59,534 I fantasize frequently about her being swapped at birth. 136 00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:00,403 What? 137 00:07:00,405 --> 00:07:03,472 What are you talking about? She looks just like you. 138 00:07:03,474 --> 00:07:05,311 She has your face. 139 00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:09,854 I never interested her as a mother. 140 00:07:10,547 --> 00:07:11,249 Why not? 141 00:07:11,251 --> 00:07:14,188 I was a teenager when I had her. 142 00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:17,519 I didn't know what to do with a baby. 143 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:21,654 And when we started working at Paper Magazine, you remember? 144 00:07:21,656 --> 00:07:23,733 We practically lived at night. 145 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,428 You remember New York in the '80s? 146 00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:27,231 Yeah. 147 00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:30,071 Anything important happened at night. 148 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:36,636 And then I went to work as a war correspondent, 149 00:07:36,638 --> 00:07:38,440 traveling constantly. 150 00:07:38,442 --> 00:07:40,717 And that didn't help. 151 00:07:40,719 --> 00:07:44,019 My work just completely took over. 152 00:07:46,450 --> 00:07:51,158 I was never what a mother is supposed to be. 153 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,161 But Michelle started to hate me 154 00:07:56,163 --> 00:07:58,836 long before I was away so much. 155 00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:02,101 I remember feeling her resentment 156 00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:04,467 even when she was a little girl. 157 00:08:07,074 --> 00:08:09,813 She made herself very clear. 158 00:08:13,509 --> 00:08:19,086 She couldn't bear... not having a father. 159 00:08:19,823 --> 00:08:22,923 She saw other girls with their fathers 160 00:08:22,925 --> 00:08:26,258 and she wanted to know about hers. 161 00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:31,725 At first, I told her I didn't know who he was, but... 162 00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:35,729 ...it kind of made things worse. 163 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,565 I was lying to her. 164 00:08:39,909 --> 00:08:42,780 Of course I knew who her father was. 165 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,144 His name was Fred. 166 00:08:50,314 --> 00:08:52,248 We dated for a few months 167 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:53,414 before he was drafted. 168 00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:58,322 And then went away to fight, towards the end of Vietnam. 169 00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:03,160 When he came back, a year later, he was... 170 00:09:03,162 --> 00:09:04,755 somebody different. 171 00:09:04,757 --> 00:09:07,098 Fred! What happened? 172 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,630 He was a broken toy. 173 00:09:10,631 --> 00:09:12,807 Hey. Hey, it's okay. 174 00:09:12,809 --> 00:09:15,040 I'm here. It's all over now, Fred. 175 00:09:15,042 --> 00:09:16,305 You're back home. 176 00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,441 But it's not over for me. 177 00:09:20,311 --> 00:09:23,347 I still got the war inside my head. 178 00:09:25,018 --> 00:09:27,020 I can't get free of it. 179 00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:31,387 I hallucinate every single day. 180 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:36,964 And I was high practically all the time. 181 00:09:40,363 --> 00:09:43,432 I don't know what I'm doing with my life, 182 00:09:44,136 --> 00:09:46,369 but I'm not staying here. 183 00:09:50,571 --> 00:09:52,144 It's all right. 184 00:09:52,848 --> 00:09:55,343 Feel free to do what you like. 185 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,282 Think about what's best for you. 186 00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:03,551 Okay. 187 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:06,817 Thanks. 188 00:10:11,789 --> 00:10:13,329 Can I kiss you? 189 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,591 - Does Michelle know this? - Oh. 190 00:10:45,724 --> 00:10:48,229 She started asking about her father 191 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,761 as soon as she could talk. 192 00:10:52,565 --> 00:10:57,372 But it's not something you can explain to a child, right? 193 00:10:57,702 --> 00:11:01,539 By puberty, she carved out quite an abyss between us. 194 00:11:01,541 --> 00:11:04,544 It came to define her adolescence. 195 00:11:05,545 --> 00:11:08,612 But, by then, I was no longer there. 196 00:11:08,614 --> 00:11:13,091 I was in New York, with you, living my life. 197 00:11:14,455 --> 00:11:16,752 I arranged to meet Fred one evening 198 00:11:16,754 --> 00:11:19,062 to tell him about the situation. 199 00:11:19,064 --> 00:11:21,394 So, I took a first aid course 200 00:11:21,396 --> 00:11:25,200 and, because I'm a war veteran, they've hired me at a hospital, 201 00:11:25,202 --> 00:11:26,862 down in San Diego. 202 00:11:28,534 --> 00:11:30,767 It's good news, right? 203 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:34,078 I have some news for you too. 204 00:11:35,376 --> 00:11:36,949 I'm pregnant. 205 00:11:37,983 --> 00:11:41,646 - You're pregnant? - Yes. 206 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:46,255 But I was planning on moving to San Diego next week. 207 00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:49,025 Then what are we gonna do? 208 00:11:49,027 --> 00:11:53,031 Whatever I do, my parents will support me, so... 209 00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:54,758 I'm not alone. 210 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,003 Mm. 211 00:11:59,268 --> 00:12:00,894 I don't think working in a hospital 212 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:04,271 was the best thing for such a damaged person. 213 00:12:04,273 --> 00:12:06,473 It's the closest thing to war. 214 00:12:06,836 --> 00:12:08,637 He needed therapy and rehab. 215 00:12:08,639 --> 00:12:11,939 Yeah, that would have been more sensible, 216 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:15,052 but he wanted to be useful, 217 00:12:15,811 --> 00:12:17,184 to ease his conscience. 218 00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:21,584 He believed that helping people between life and death... 219 00:12:21,586 --> 00:12:26,756 was his best chance of getting back any peace. 220 00:12:27,262 --> 00:12:31,330 I could only free him of any responsibility. 221 00:12:31,332 --> 00:12:34,531 He left before Michelle was born. 222 00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:35,631 He never knew her. 223 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:42,805 He didn't call once to ask about her. 224 00:12:43,938 --> 00:12:45,905 When did you tell her? 225 00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:48,217 She was about 12. 226 00:12:48,777 --> 00:12:52,680 She wanted to know where he was living... 227 00:12:52,682 --> 00:12:54,915 and I didn't know anymore. 228 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,949 She was so insistent... 229 00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:01,227 that I tracked down an old friend of his 230 00:13:01,229 --> 00:13:02,758 from high school, 231 00:13:03,198 --> 00:13:08,333 who told me that Fred had gotten married 232 00:13:08,335 --> 00:13:10,898 and had recently died. 233 00:13:11,635 --> 00:13:16,002 I asked him for his wife's number... 234 00:13:16,376 --> 00:13:18,541 and then I called her. 235 00:13:18,543 --> 00:13:21,084 I wanted to know what had happened. 236 00:13:21,447 --> 00:13:27,288 She told me they were coming home after a trip. 237 00:13:29,817 --> 00:13:31,555 Is that smoke? 238 00:13:32,325 --> 00:13:33,854 Yes. 239 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,657 Something's on fire. 240 00:13:36,659 --> 00:13:38,397 There's a house on fire. 241 00:13:40,234 --> 00:13:42,531 We should call the fire department. 242 00:13:49,144 --> 00:13:51,905 - Stop the car. - Fred... 243 00:13:57,977 --> 00:13:59,482 What are you doing? 244 00:13:59,484 --> 00:14:01,385 - I'm gonna take a look. - No! 245 00:14:01,387 --> 00:14:02,881 That's crazy! Fred! 246 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,323 - There might be someone inside. - Fred, stop! Stop! 247 00:14:05,325 --> 00:14:09,393 Don't go in. It's dangerous! Look at me, I'm here. 248 00:14:09,395 --> 00:14:10,690 Let's find a gas station 249 00:14:10,692 --> 00:14:12,164 and call the fire department, please. 250 00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,726 Don't you hear the screams? 251 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,926 No, I don't hear anything. 252 00:14:17,699 --> 00:14:21,142 Fred, please! Fred! Fred! 253 00:14:21,604 --> 00:14:23,340 Fred, don't go in there! 254 00:14:25,839 --> 00:14:27,179 Don't you hear the screams? 255 00:14:27,181 --> 00:14:30,118 There's someone inside crying for help! 256 00:14:31,779 --> 00:14:33,253 Fred! 257 00:14:44,594 --> 00:14:46,858 Sir! Sir! 258 00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:48,497 Please, help me! 259 00:14:48,499 --> 00:14:50,631 - Sir! Sir, please! - Let's go! 260 00:14:50,633 --> 00:14:53,336 - Please, my husband's inside! - Ladder up! 261 00:14:53,338 --> 00:14:55,096 Sir! My husband's inside! 262 00:14:55,098 --> 00:14:56,174 My husband's inside! 263 00:14:56,176 --> 00:14:57,703 He thought he heard voices crying for help. 264 00:14:57,705 --> 00:14:59,067 Put two lines on the back side, guys! 265 00:14:59,069 --> 00:15:00,871 He went into the house trying to save 266 00:15:00,873 --> 00:15:02,279 whoever was trapped by the fire. 267 00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:03,940 Okay, get back in your car. Do not go over there. 268 00:15:03,942 --> 00:15:04,941 I will stay here. Okay. 269 00:15:04,943 --> 00:15:06,415 Please, ma'am. Is there someone else? 270 00:15:06,417 --> 00:15:08,010 - No, I don't know! - Ladder up, guys! Ladder! 271 00:15:08,012 --> 00:15:09,154 There's a civilian inside! 272 00:15:09,156 --> 00:15:10,815 Get back in your car, ma'am, please. 273 00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:13,686 All right, get in there! 274 00:15:13,688 --> 00:15:15,655 Get in that top window. 275 00:15:15,657 --> 00:15:19,496 There you go. It's gonna blow out. 276 00:15:21,597 --> 00:15:23,126 Good boys. 277 00:15:31,706 --> 00:15:34,068 I'm sorry, there was nothing we could do. 278 00:15:36,446 --> 00:15:39,183 He didn't get to the second floor. 279 00:15:39,185 --> 00:15:42,142 He must have passed out from the smoke and the flames. 280 00:15:42,144 --> 00:15:43,484 And the other bodies? 281 00:15:43,486 --> 00:15:44,584 There was nobody else. 282 00:15:44,586 --> 00:15:46,982 This house has been abandoned for a long time. 283 00:15:46,984 --> 00:15:48,456 There was only your husband. 284 00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:50,359 But he... 285 00:15:50,361 --> 00:15:53,395 he told me he heard screams for help... 286 00:15:53,397 --> 00:15:55,366 Impossible, ma'am. 287 00:15:55,795 --> 00:15:57,533 There was no one else. 288 00:15:58,094 --> 00:15:59,634 It's true. 289 00:16:00,635 --> 00:16:03,902 I didn't hear the screams either. 290 00:16:04,474 --> 00:16:08,135 I tried to stop him from going in, but... 291 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:10,379 I didn't. 292 00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:12,106 He was very brave. 293 00:16:12,108 --> 00:16:14,107 Did you tell Michelle all of this? 294 00:16:14,109 --> 00:16:16,549 I had to give her every detail. 295 00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:20,256 I even gave her her father's wife's phone number. 296 00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:21,180 You know what? 297 00:16:21,182 --> 00:16:23,116 Let's get you back to bed. You're tired. 298 00:16:23,118 --> 00:16:24,623 Yeah, but I have to tell you this. 299 00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:27,760 We can... We can talk more later. 300 00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:30,763 So, one day... 301 00:16:32,270 --> 00:16:35,535 - I got a call from Fred's wife. - Okay. 302 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,833 And she told me 303 00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:39,066 - that she wanted an address. - Mm-hmm. 304 00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:41,200 She wanted to send me something. 305 00:16:41,202 --> 00:16:42,410 Mm-hm. 306 00:16:42,412 --> 00:16:44,280 And, shortly after, 307 00:16:44,282 --> 00:16:48,583 I received a note in the mail and a letter... 308 00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:52,389 that the wife received from Michelle, 309 00:16:52,983 --> 00:16:54,751 introducing herself 310 00:16:54,753 --> 00:16:57,426 and saying that it was her, 311 00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:58,887 Fred's daughter, 312 00:16:58,889 --> 00:17:02,222 who had been in the burning house. 313 00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:05,960 "It was me he tried to save. " 314 00:17:05,962 --> 00:17:10,129 "It was me for whom he died... " 315 00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:13,308 that's what Michelle said to the wife. 316 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,969 That's insane! 317 00:17:14,971 --> 00:17:16,346 Yes. 318 00:17:23,947 --> 00:17:24,748 Hi! 319 00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,552 It's Martha, the nuisance. 320 00:17:26,554 --> 00:17:28,884 You're not a nuisance. 321 00:17:28,886 --> 00:17:30,391 How're you feeling? 322 00:17:30,393 --> 00:17:31,788 Fine. I'm at home. 323 00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:34,120 The hospital's given me a few days off 324 00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:36,121 between treatments, so I'm at home. 325 00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:37,859 I'd love for you to come over. 326 00:17:37,861 --> 00:17:40,928 Ooh, you've caught me in the middle of moving. 327 00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:43,634 Oh, then you're really busy, right? 328 00:17:43,636 --> 00:17:46,571 Um, well, you know what moving's like. 329 00:17:46,573 --> 00:17:51,070 But, um, if you're feeling lonely, I could stop by, 330 00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:52,742 we could take a walk in the park. 331 00:17:52,744 --> 00:17:55,239 I might not be quite up for a walk. 332 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,176 Um, okay, you know what? Let me, um... 333 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,982 Let me finish what I'm doing and I'll be right over. 334 00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:06,329 Thanks, sweetheart, but don't feel obliged. 335 00:18:29,648 --> 00:18:33,045 - These are for you. - You are a darling. 336 00:18:33,047 --> 00:18:35,113 And I've brought you a couple of books. 337 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,719 Oh! Thank you. 338 00:18:36,721 --> 00:18:38,116 You want something to drink? 339 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,118 Oh. I'd love some tea. 340 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,362 - Herbal tea if you have it. - Sure. 341 00:18:42,364 --> 00:18:45,367 - I'll put these in a vase. - Okay. 342 00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:48,401 And all of this is for you. 343 00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:49,963 You have to finish all of it. 344 00:18:49,965 --> 00:18:52,570 Wow! Well, I will do my best. 345 00:18:52,572 --> 00:18:54,000 I love fruit. 346 00:18:57,807 --> 00:18:59,708 Are you working on something new? 347 00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:01,072 Um, yeah, actually I am. 348 00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:05,076 I'm doing research on the painter Dora Carrington 349 00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:06,616 and her, um... Mm... 350 00:19:06,618 --> 00:19:10,081 ...intense relationship with the writer Lytton Strachey. 351 00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,248 - Mm-hm. - Here he is. 352 00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,425 Uh, Strachey was gay, 353 00:19:13,427 --> 00:19:18,793 so she married the straight man that he was infatuated with. 354 00:19:18,795 --> 00:19:21,059 It's gonna be the story of the trio. 355 00:19:21,061 --> 00:19:22,566 It isn't groundbreaking, 356 00:19:22,568 --> 00:19:24,535 but I want to see where it takes me. 357 00:19:24,537 --> 00:19:25,932 Here, um, look. 358 00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:27,065 Um, unfortunately for her, 359 00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:29,672 there was another more famous painter... 360 00:19:29,674 --> 00:19:31,201 - Leonora Carrington. Yeah. - Yes, 361 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,741 the surrealist Leonora Carrington, 362 00:19:32,743 --> 00:19:35,911 whose name was obviously very similar to hers. 363 00:19:36,549 --> 00:19:38,209 Um... 364 00:19:38,517 --> 00:19:40,013 Dora... 365 00:19:40,211 --> 00:19:42,013 was better known for this 366 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,282 bizarre love story with Strachey. 367 00:19:46,459 --> 00:19:49,955 She devoted 17 years of her life to him. 368 00:19:49,957 --> 00:19:50,923 - Wow. - Mm. 369 00:19:50,925 --> 00:19:53,596 It'll be a fictionalized biography, so... 370 00:19:53,598 --> 00:19:56,324 I'll make some stuff up, too. 371 00:19:56,326 --> 00:20:00,768 I've never been able to allow myself that. 372 00:20:00,770 --> 00:20:03,738 Mm. Well, I hope not. 373 00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:05,641 You're a war reporter. 374 00:20:05,643 --> 00:20:07,302 Yeah, you have to... 375 00:20:07,304 --> 00:20:08,842 You know, you can't show your emotions. 376 00:20:08,844 --> 00:20:12,813 You have to block them out so you can do your job 377 00:20:12,815 --> 00:20:15,486 and stay in the present in the middle of whatever hell. 378 00:20:15,488 --> 00:20:18,554 Maybe I should write about you and not Carrington. 379 00:20:18,556 --> 00:20:19,687 I don't think you'd enjoy 380 00:20:19,689 --> 00:20:21,557 writing about illnesses and treatments. 381 00:20:21,559 --> 00:20:24,659 - Mm. You're wrong. - I'm just a journalist, 382 00:20:24,661 --> 00:20:27,662 addicted to wars and adrenaline. 383 00:20:27,664 --> 00:20:29,501 You think that's nothing? 384 00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:32,898 It wasn't all tragedy. 385 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,935 You know, life went on. 386 00:20:35,705 --> 00:20:39,627 There was one report when I added a bit of fiction. 387 00:20:39,636 --> 00:20:41,152 Really? 388 00:20:41,238 --> 00:20:44,241 Actually, I never published it. 389 00:20:45,407 --> 00:20:47,077 It was during the war in Iraq. 390 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,718 On the last day, before we left Baghdad. 391 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,379 Are you sure this is the right way? 392 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:56,286 Yeah, just make a left here in this alley. 393 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,860 Let's make this brief. 394 00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:02,993 Here. Stop here. 395 00:21:12,642 --> 00:21:16,371 Martin, what are you doing here in Baghdad? 396 00:21:17,779 --> 00:21:19,647 You look great. You really do. 397 00:21:19,649 --> 00:21:20,439 Thank you. 398 00:21:20,441 --> 00:21:22,441 Yeah, I'm sorry. Paco, Martin. 399 00:21:22,443 --> 00:21:23,585 He's a Carmelite, like me. 400 00:21:23,587 --> 00:21:25,213 Pleasure. Let me introduce you to Martha. 401 00:21:25,215 --> 00:21:28,381 She is a brilliant journalist from The New York Times. 402 00:21:29,626 --> 00:21:30,823 They are the Carmelites 403 00:21:30,825 --> 00:21:31,824 I was telling you about. 404 00:21:31,826 --> 00:21:33,155 It's a pleasure to meet you both. 405 00:21:33,157 --> 00:21:35,564 Are you intending to stay in Baghdad? 406 00:21:35,566 --> 00:21:36,928 Yes, here we are. 407 00:21:36,930 --> 00:21:37,962 But you're alone. 408 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:41,538 All the NGOs and the Red Cross have left already. 409 00:21:41,769 --> 00:21:42,603 I know. 410 00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:44,770 The situation is out of control. 411 00:21:44,772 --> 00:21:46,167 It's very dangerous. 412 00:21:46,169 --> 00:21:47,234 You're here as well. 413 00:21:47,236 --> 00:21:48,675 Yeah, but we're just passing through. 414 00:21:48,677 --> 00:21:51,040 We're leaving as soon as we finish talking to you. 415 00:21:51,042 --> 00:21:52,646 We can't let them down now, 416 00:21:52,648 --> 00:21:54,076 this is when the people need us most. 417 00:21:54,078 --> 00:21:59,017 That's true, but it's still extremely dangerous. 418 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:01,446 But then you know that. 419 00:22:01,448 --> 00:22:04,594 We can't let them down now, señora. 420 00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:06,726 Do you mind if we take a photo of you 421 00:22:06,728 --> 00:22:08,959 and how the mission has been left? 422 00:22:10,567 --> 00:22:11,324 Okay. 423 00:22:11,326 --> 00:22:13,293 You can photograph the mission and me, 424 00:22:13,295 --> 00:22:17,198 but he doesn't want to risk his family in Spain seeing him. 425 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,573 - They'd worry. - Yeah, of course. 426 00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:20,740 Totally understand, but if we could get one of you, 427 00:22:20,742 --> 00:22:21,938 that would be great. 428 00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:23,236 - Okay. - Sure. 429 00:22:24,580 --> 00:22:25,909 - Here? - Yeah. 430 00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:28,538 Just perhaps a little tiny step closer... 431 00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:30,881 Yeah, that's fine, so that I can see the impacts. 432 00:22:36,757 --> 00:22:38,451 I think you have it. 433 00:22:40,387 --> 00:22:42,222 How long has it been... 434 00:22:42,224 --> 00:22:43,927 since we last saw each other? 435 00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:47,394 Five years. 436 00:22:48,131 --> 00:22:49,561 Wow. 437 00:22:50,265 --> 00:22:52,036 Do you remember Liberia? 438 00:22:52,267 --> 00:22:54,071 How could I forget? 439 00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:58,810 Look, I have some photos of you that we didn't publish. 440 00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:01,373 If you give me an address, I can send them to you. 441 00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:02,538 Maybe to the Embassy. 442 00:23:02,540 --> 00:23:04,144 No, you keep them. 443 00:23:04,146 --> 00:23:06,753 That way I'll keep you company. 444 00:23:07,446 --> 00:23:08,821 Okay. 445 00:23:10,416 --> 00:23:12,660 It was really great seeing you. 446 00:23:13,056 --> 00:23:13,824 Take care. 447 00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:15,861 - Goodbye. - Be safe. 448 00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:21,999 How do you know the Carmelite? 449 00:23:24,595 --> 00:23:26,300 We met in Sierra Leone. 450 00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:29,807 We became lovers there. 451 00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:32,174 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 452 00:23:32,647 --> 00:23:34,603 After that, we met more times. 453 00:23:34,605 --> 00:23:37,573 Always in places that were at war. 454 00:23:37,575 --> 00:23:38,750 And you had sex? 455 00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:40,851 Well, of course, yeah. 456 00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:44,020 Bernardo never renounced physical pleasure. 457 00:23:44,383 --> 00:23:47,285 He was always in the most conflictive places. 458 00:23:47,287 --> 00:23:50,664 And I think that sex was his best shield. 459 00:23:51,962 --> 00:23:55,029 I'm pretty sure the Carmelite is his partner. 460 00:23:55,031 --> 00:23:56,261 You think so? 461 00:23:56,263 --> 00:23:57,900 Definitely. 462 00:23:57,902 --> 00:23:59,836 That is the only way you can stay in Baghdad 463 00:23:59,838 --> 00:24:01,675 and not be afraid of the war. 464 00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:05,272 - What a wonderful story. - Yup. 465 00:24:06,636 --> 00:24:07,635 Don't you dare write it. 466 00:24:07,637 --> 00:24:10,442 No, no, no, of course not. 467 00:24:12,543 --> 00:24:15,445 But how about sin for him? 468 00:24:15,447 --> 00:24:16,787 I mean, don't they feel guilty? 469 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,217 After all, they are Catholic. 470 00:24:18,219 --> 00:24:21,453 Yeah, I don't know. He never talked about that. 471 00:24:22,619 --> 00:24:25,454 With all the horrors you see in war, 472 00:24:25,456 --> 00:24:27,060 feeling guilty about having sex 473 00:24:27,062 --> 00:24:29,229 doesn't really carry much weight, 474 00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:31,429 you simply get used to it. 475 00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:33,706 I know that. 476 00:24:36,467 --> 00:24:37,807 I wrote their story, 477 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:41,208 their love story, as I imagined it, 478 00:24:41,637 --> 00:24:44,046 but it stayed in my computer. 479 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:50,116 So, you're gonna write about Dora Carrington's insane love. 480 00:24:50,118 --> 00:24:50,985 Mm-hm. 481 00:24:50,987 --> 00:24:52,415 And her connection to Virginia Woolf, 482 00:24:52,417 --> 00:24:55,957 who Strachey also pursued romantically. 483 00:24:55,959 --> 00:24:57,387 What a group! 484 00:24:57,389 --> 00:24:59,521 I so admire their freedom. 485 00:24:59,523 --> 00:25:01,589 Strachey died of stomach cancer 486 00:25:01,591 --> 00:25:03,525 18 years after meeting Dora 487 00:25:03,527 --> 00:25:06,560 and Dora survived him by barely two months 488 00:25:06,562 --> 00:25:09,332 before she shot herself in the stomach. 489 00:25:09,334 --> 00:25:11,301 She was only 38. 490 00:25:11,303 --> 00:25:15,041 I'm struck by the symmetry of that kind of gesture, 491 00:25:15,043 --> 00:25:16,042 his stomach cancer 492 00:25:16,044 --> 00:25:18,341 and her shooting herself in the stomach. 493 00:25:18,343 --> 00:25:20,112 I know, it struck me, too. 494 00:25:20,114 --> 00:25:25,216 I wonder what Virginia Woolf thought of Carrington's death? 495 00:25:25,218 --> 00:25:27,889 Maybe Virginia saw... 496 00:25:27,891 --> 00:25:28,956 a kind of warning, 497 00:25:28,958 --> 00:25:31,717 a mirror that reflected her? 498 00:25:31,719 --> 00:25:33,622 As if they were fated? 499 00:25:35,426 --> 00:25:37,624 Do you think I'm fated, too? 500 00:25:37,626 --> 00:25:39,967 No! Of course not. 501 00:25:39,969 --> 00:25:42,563 I've never known anyone more alive than you. 502 00:25:42,565 --> 00:25:45,335 This week I'm starting a new experimental 503 00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:47,974 - immunotherapy treatment. - Uh-huh. 504 00:25:47,976 --> 00:25:49,074 They've already tried it 505 00:25:49,076 --> 00:25:51,637 and it seems to work well with cases of cervical cancer. 506 00:25:51,639 --> 00:25:54,211 - Well, that's great news! - Yeah. 507 00:25:54,213 --> 00:25:56,114 Let me know when I can come and visit you, 508 00:25:56,116 --> 00:25:57,920 - okay? - I will. 509 00:25:59,317 --> 00:26:02,120 - Talking of symmetry... - Mm-hmm? 510 00:26:02,122 --> 00:26:03,794 Do you remember... 511 00:26:04,190 --> 00:26:06,027 Damian Cunningham? 512 00:26:06,423 --> 00:26:08,060 How could I forget? 513 00:26:08,062 --> 00:26:10,997 I inherited him from you. 514 00:26:10,999 --> 00:26:12,526 The shared lover. 515 00:26:12,528 --> 00:26:13,934 - Well, I... - I have to say 516 00:26:13,936 --> 00:26:16,101 I felt terrible when you got together 517 00:26:16,103 --> 00:26:17,168 after I'd been with him. 518 00:26:17,170 --> 00:26:18,873 Okay, we didn't share him exactly 519 00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:20,072 because you'd already broken up 520 00:26:20,074 --> 00:26:21,337 and you were out of the country. 521 00:26:21,339 --> 00:26:22,569 I would never go back with him 522 00:26:22,571 --> 00:26:25,539 and, to tell the truth, I was never faithful. 523 00:26:25,541 --> 00:26:30,642 But he was a passionate and enthusiastic lover 524 00:26:30,644 --> 00:26:32,985 and I hope he was for you, too. 525 00:26:32,987 --> 00:26:34,283 I had no complaints. 526 00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:51,467 Hi. 527 00:26:53,601 --> 00:26:55,141 What is it? 528 00:26:56,538 --> 00:26:58,177 It hasn't worked. 529 00:26:58,573 --> 00:27:00,606 I've got metastases in my liver 530 00:27:00,608 --> 00:27:02,377 - and in my bones. - Oh, Martha. 531 00:27:02,379 --> 00:27:04,214 I should have followed my first instinct. 532 00:27:04,216 --> 00:27:07,151 Should never have put myself through this torture. 533 00:27:07,153 --> 00:27:10,087 This diarrhea, vomiting, fatigue... 534 00:27:10,089 --> 00:27:11,814 to end up like this. 535 00:27:11,816 --> 00:27:14,652 I should never have given in to false hope. 536 00:27:14,654 --> 00:27:15,554 Okay. Okay. 537 00:27:15,556 --> 00:27:18,128 All right, what does the doctor say? 538 00:27:18,130 --> 00:27:18,964 Tell me. 539 00:27:18,966 --> 00:27:21,791 Oh, that I could live for months, 540 00:27:21,793 --> 00:27:23,232 maybe a year. 541 00:27:23,234 --> 00:27:25,762 He wants me to continue with the treatment, 542 00:27:25,764 --> 00:27:27,335 even though it looks hopeless. 543 00:27:27,337 --> 00:27:28,633 Maybe it will work this time. 544 00:27:28,635 --> 00:27:31,671 I don't wanna wallow in self-pity. 545 00:27:36,885 --> 00:27:39,479 But I'm not a stoic. I'm sorry. 546 00:27:39,481 --> 00:27:43,549 I don't wanna go through excruciating pain. 547 00:27:43,551 --> 00:27:47,225 You can't be self-possessed if you're in agony. 548 00:27:47,423 --> 00:27:49,356 You can't think straight. 549 00:27:49,358 --> 00:27:51,424 You can only think of one thing... 550 00:27:51,426 --> 00:27:53,461 the fucking cancer. 551 00:27:55,298 --> 00:27:57,938 I've always taken care of my health, 552 00:27:58,433 --> 00:27:59,938 now I regret it. 553 00:27:59,940 --> 00:28:02,039 The doctor says I have a strong heart. 554 00:28:02,041 --> 00:28:03,172 What does that mean? 555 00:28:03,174 --> 00:28:05,075 My body is just gonna go on fighting... 556 00:28:05,077 --> 00:28:08,947 while I suffer and suffer until my last breath? 557 00:28:09,950 --> 00:28:11,578 I don't know. 558 00:28:12,711 --> 00:28:15,087 I don't know how to help you. 559 00:28:15,956 --> 00:28:17,584 I'm so sorry. 560 00:28:21,489 --> 00:28:24,789 I think I deserve a good death. 561 00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:30,066 At least one without convulsions in my last moments. 562 00:28:30,068 --> 00:28:32,530 Going out with a little bit of dignity, 563 00:28:32,532 --> 00:28:34,699 clean and dry. 564 00:28:36,437 --> 00:28:39,009 But I know I'm asking too much... 565 00:28:39,869 --> 00:28:41,242 What are you doing up, Martha? 566 00:28:41,244 --> 00:28:42,573 I'm fucking over this. 567 00:28:42,575 --> 00:28:44,839 - Can you help her, please? - Of course. 568 00:28:44,841 --> 00:28:45,983 Let's get you back in bed. 569 00:28:45,985 --> 00:28:48,955 Come on. Let me help you. 570 00:28:49,813 --> 00:28:51,417 Bring it on. 571 00:28:51,419 --> 00:28:52,992 Here we go. 572 00:28:54,884 --> 00:28:57,588 I'll end up turning into a junkie. 573 00:28:58,525 --> 00:29:00,723 I am one already, I guess. 574 00:29:00,725 --> 00:29:03,363 It's okay. Really. 575 00:29:03,365 --> 00:29:06,170 Here, this will help. 576 00:29:43,833 --> 00:29:45,538 Are you still here? 577 00:29:46,671 --> 00:29:48,046 Yes. 578 00:29:50,378 --> 00:29:53,413 Should I ask them to bring your dinner? 579 00:29:54,315 --> 00:29:55,844 Are you hungry? 580 00:29:56,218 --> 00:29:57,582 No. 581 00:30:00,189 --> 00:30:01,685 Ingrid... 582 00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:05,621 Do you think I need to say goodbye 583 00:30:05,623 --> 00:30:07,128 to my closest friends? 584 00:30:07,130 --> 00:30:10,562 I think you should do whatever you wanna do. 585 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:14,203 I just want peace and quiet. 586 00:30:14,698 --> 00:30:19,307 Have you thought about how you wanna spend your time? 587 00:30:20,836 --> 00:30:22,077 And where? 588 00:30:22,079 --> 00:30:24,840 Is there some place you'd like to go? 589 00:30:25,610 --> 00:30:27,051 Look. 590 00:30:32,089 --> 00:30:34,189 Pink snowflakes. 591 00:30:35,322 --> 00:30:39,755 There had to be something good about climate change. 592 00:30:41,592 --> 00:30:43,022 Well... 593 00:30:43,990 --> 00:30:46,267 I've lived to see that. 594 00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:53,503 You remember the end of Joyce's The Dead? 595 00:30:53,505 --> 00:30:56,079 Vaguely. 596 00:30:56,838 --> 00:30:59,280 "The snow was falling, 597 00:31:00,006 --> 00:31:03,645 falling on the lonely churchyard, 598 00:31:03,647 --> 00:31:07,618 falling faintly through the universe. 599 00:31:09,224 --> 00:31:11,620 And faintly falling, 600 00:31:11,622 --> 00:31:15,724 like the descent of their last end, 601 00:31:16,923 --> 00:31:22,599 on all the living and the dead. " 602 00:31:26,306 --> 00:31:28,638 It's getting late and, uh... 603 00:31:29,309 --> 00:31:30,937 I should be going. 604 00:31:38,516 --> 00:31:39,979 Thank you. 605 00:31:40,881 --> 00:31:43,125 I'll see you tomorrow. 606 00:32:28,928 --> 00:32:31,764 There's still a half an hour before the movie starts. 607 00:32:31,766 --> 00:32:34,206 Should we go in and get our seats before the rush? 608 00:32:34,208 --> 00:32:37,309 No. I wanna talk to you about something. 609 00:32:37,639 --> 00:32:38,440 Okay. 610 00:32:38,442 --> 00:32:41,036 I will not go out in mortifying anguish. 611 00:32:41,038 --> 00:32:43,876 I've gotten hold of a euthanasia pill. 612 00:32:44,140 --> 00:32:45,139 Don't ask me how, 613 00:32:45,141 --> 00:32:47,845 on the dark web you can find almost anything. 614 00:32:47,847 --> 00:32:50,353 I also have an abundance of opioids 615 00:32:50,355 --> 00:32:51,519 for the moments of pain. 616 00:32:51,521 --> 00:32:52,784 And don't look at me like that, 617 00:32:52,786 --> 00:32:55,954 I'm not asking you to convince me otherwise. 618 00:32:56,152 --> 00:32:58,262 I don't know what to say. 619 00:32:58,264 --> 00:33:00,365 I'm hoping you'll say yes. 620 00:33:00,860 --> 00:33:02,233 Yes to what? 621 00:33:02,235 --> 00:33:04,732 To my asking you to help me. 622 00:33:04,897 --> 00:33:06,833 Help you what? 623 00:33:07,273 --> 00:33:09,867 I've faced death several times, 624 00:33:09,869 --> 00:33:11,968 but I've always been accompanied. 625 00:33:11,970 --> 00:33:16,413 We reporters formed a kind of mobile family. 626 00:33:17,678 --> 00:33:19,911 This is another war, 627 00:33:20,285 --> 00:33:22,254 I'm not afraid of it. 628 00:33:22,386 --> 00:33:23,143 But... 629 00:33:23,145 --> 00:33:26,181 like the other times I faced death... 630 00:33:27,259 --> 00:33:30,086 I don't wanna be alone, Ingrid. 631 00:33:31,956 --> 00:33:33,958 I'm asking you... 632 00:33:34,233 --> 00:33:36,928 to be in the next room. 633 00:33:37,302 --> 00:33:38,994 I think we should go get our seats. 634 00:33:38,996 --> 00:33:42,338 Yeah, sure, but I prefer to go on talking to you, 635 00:33:42,340 --> 00:33:44,100 if you don't mind. 636 00:33:46,168 --> 00:33:48,137 Okay. Um... 637 00:33:49,248 --> 00:33:51,712 Do you know when you wanna do this? 638 00:33:52,141 --> 00:33:53,648 Not exactly. 639 00:33:54,176 --> 00:33:55,716 Within a month? 640 00:33:56,387 --> 00:34:00,784 Before I start to deteriorate and you don't recognize me. 641 00:34:00,786 --> 00:34:05,217 These next weeks I should be reasonably well, 642 00:34:05,219 --> 00:34:06,592 but I wanna do it soon. 643 00:34:06,594 --> 00:34:09,155 My doctors think that I'm gonna return 644 00:34:09,157 --> 00:34:10,926 to complete the treatment. 645 00:34:10,928 --> 00:34:14,371 It's best they don't suspect anything. 646 00:34:14,569 --> 00:34:16,470 Where do you wanna do it? 647 00:34:16,472 --> 00:34:18,507 I don't wanna be at home. 648 00:34:19,607 --> 00:34:23,941 And I don't wanna go back to anywhere I've been happy. 649 00:34:25,316 --> 00:34:28,108 It's always a mistake to return to some place 650 00:34:28,110 --> 00:34:29,208 you've been truly happy. 651 00:34:29,210 --> 00:34:32,178 You just ruin the good memories of the first time. 652 00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:33,388 No, I understand that. 653 00:34:33,390 --> 00:34:36,754 I think it will be easier for me to let myself go 654 00:34:36,756 --> 00:34:41,593 if I'm not surrounded by familiar things, 655 00:34:41,595 --> 00:34:43,089 intimate things. 656 00:34:43,091 --> 00:34:46,127 I think that would hold me back. 657 00:34:47,898 --> 00:34:51,671 I prefer some unknown place, 658 00:34:52,034 --> 00:34:54,608 comfortable and safe, 659 00:34:54,872 --> 00:34:57,070 and not too far away. 660 00:34:57,072 --> 00:34:59,545 Do you need my help finding a place 661 00:34:59,547 --> 00:35:02,075 or getting you settled in? 662 00:35:02,077 --> 00:35:03,846 No, no, no. 663 00:35:03,848 --> 00:35:06,323 No, I can take care of that part. 664 00:35:06,950 --> 00:35:10,954 What I need is somebody to be there with me, 665 00:35:11,460 --> 00:35:13,627 in the room next door. 666 00:35:14,925 --> 00:35:17,530 Wouldn't you prefer someone you're closer to? 667 00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:18,530 We're very close. 668 00:35:18,532 --> 00:35:20,466 No, yes, of course, of course we are. 669 00:35:20,468 --> 00:35:22,930 Oh, my God, we're very close. I just... 670 00:35:22,932 --> 00:35:25,702 There were years where we didn't see each other. 671 00:35:26,705 --> 00:35:28,265 What about Stella? 672 00:35:28,267 --> 00:35:29,772 Or Maggie? 673 00:35:29,774 --> 00:35:30,707 Or Vanessa? 674 00:35:30,709 --> 00:35:32,610 You've all been friends since you were kids. 675 00:35:32,612 --> 00:35:35,879 I admit I thought of them first. 676 00:35:36,176 --> 00:35:37,582 I asked all three of them. 677 00:35:37,584 --> 00:35:42,017 They all were horrified and they all said no. 678 00:35:42,688 --> 00:35:43,720 They understood it, 679 00:35:43,722 --> 00:35:45,953 but they said they could never be a part 680 00:35:45,955 --> 00:35:48,252 of helping me take my own life. 681 00:35:48,254 --> 00:35:49,220 Absolutely not. 682 00:35:49,222 --> 00:35:52,533 - What about your daughter? - It wouldn't be fair to her. 683 00:35:53,226 --> 00:35:55,160 I've been an absent mother. 684 00:35:55,162 --> 00:35:56,601 I don't wanna impose my dying on her. 685 00:35:56,603 --> 00:36:01,539 You could at least consult her and let her be a part of it. 686 00:36:01,541 --> 00:36:04,038 We're two strangers, Ingrid. 687 00:36:04,742 --> 00:36:06,610 She made that clear when I told her 688 00:36:06,612 --> 00:36:09,340 about my doubts about the treatment. 689 00:36:09,846 --> 00:36:12,387 "It's your choice" she said. 690 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,181 And she's right. 691 00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:16,754 Right. 692 00:36:42,977 --> 00:36:44,779 No matter what, 693 00:36:44,781 --> 00:36:47,916 people want you to keep fighting. 694 00:36:48,378 --> 00:36:52,347 This is the way we've been taught to see cancer. 695 00:36:52,349 --> 00:36:57,693 As a fight... between patient and disease, 696 00:36:57,695 --> 00:37:01,224 which is to say between good and evil. 697 00:37:01,226 --> 00:37:04,163 If you survive, you're a hero. 698 00:37:04,669 --> 00:37:07,133 If you lose, well, 699 00:37:07,705 --> 00:37:10,576 perhaps you didn't fight hard enough. 700 00:37:12,138 --> 00:37:14,303 People don't like using words like 701 00:37:14,305 --> 00:37:17,515 "terminal" or "incurable. " 702 00:37:17,517 --> 00:37:20,045 They call that defeatist talk. 703 00:37:20,047 --> 00:37:21,947 Some of the worst stuff comes from 704 00:37:21,949 --> 00:37:24,213 the cancer support community. 705 00:37:24,215 --> 00:37:27,414 Some of them think of your cancer as a gift, 706 00:37:27,416 --> 00:37:30,725 an opportunity for spiritual growth. 707 00:37:30,727 --> 00:37:31,858 Bullshit! 708 00:37:31,860 --> 00:37:36,161 People should see this is my way of fighting. 709 00:37:37,228 --> 00:37:41,474 Cancer can't get me if I get me first. 710 00:37:43,201 --> 00:37:46,743 And what's the point in waiting... 711 00:37:47,304 --> 00:37:49,306 when I'm so ready to go? 712 00:37:50,043 --> 00:37:53,011 Are you completely sure you're ready? 713 00:37:53,013 --> 00:37:54,551 Totally. 714 00:37:54,553 --> 00:37:57,281 Since the first diagnosis. 715 00:37:58,315 --> 00:38:01,525 You know I have a terrible fear of death. 716 00:38:01,527 --> 00:38:02,415 I know. 717 00:38:02,417 --> 00:38:03,526 I've read your book. 718 00:38:03,528 --> 00:38:06,531 That's why I didn't ask you first. 719 00:38:07,664 --> 00:38:09,664 But you understand me, don't you? 720 00:38:09,666 --> 00:38:11,259 I do, I do. I envy you. 721 00:38:11,261 --> 00:38:12,667 You're in control of your life. 722 00:38:12,669 --> 00:38:16,539 I only need you to accompany me the days leading to it, 723 00:38:16,541 --> 00:38:18,937 as if we were on vacation. 724 00:38:18,939 --> 00:38:21,544 I just wanna know that, when it happens, 725 00:38:21,546 --> 00:38:24,140 there'll be someone in the next room. 726 00:38:24,142 --> 00:38:25,845 It terrifies me, Martha. 727 00:38:25,847 --> 00:38:26,780 I understand. 728 00:38:26,782 --> 00:38:28,716 I think that you have every right to do this 729 00:38:28,718 --> 00:38:29,816 and I admire you for it, 730 00:38:29,818 --> 00:38:32,346 but I don't know that I can be the one to find you dead. 731 00:38:32,348 --> 00:38:33,413 I'm not that strong. 732 00:38:33,415 --> 00:38:36,055 You're much stronger than you think you are. 733 00:38:37,991 --> 00:38:41,159 Anyway, I had to try. 734 00:38:44,326 --> 00:38:45,831 I can't answer you now, Martha, 735 00:38:45,833 --> 00:38:47,294 but I promise you I'll think about it. 736 00:38:47,296 --> 00:38:50,605 Right now I'm too confused and too terrified. 737 00:38:50,607 --> 00:38:52,002 I understand. 738 00:38:52,004 --> 00:38:54,545 I understand it's sudden... 739 00:38:55,975 --> 00:38:58,307 and it's disconcerting. 740 00:39:02,179 --> 00:39:04,214 I'll think of someone. 741 00:39:13,762 --> 00:39:17,062 - I wasn't too much? - No, no. 742 00:39:56,133 --> 00:39:58,562 - Martha? - Hello, Ingrid. 743 00:39:58,564 --> 00:40:00,610 I've made up my mind. 744 00:40:03,503 --> 00:40:04,976 Come on in. 745 00:40:05,306 --> 00:40:07,372 The owner is a jewelry designer. 746 00:40:07,374 --> 00:40:10,914 She's a friend of mine, so I don't pay much rent. 747 00:40:10,916 --> 00:40:11,981 Mmm. 748 00:40:11,983 --> 00:40:14,346 You get the impression it's been furnished 749 00:40:14,348 --> 00:40:16,656 with stuff from the garbage. 750 00:40:16,658 --> 00:40:18,086 Not everything. 751 00:40:18,088 --> 00:40:21,925 And it takes talent to pick stuff out of the garbage. 752 00:40:21,927 --> 00:40:24,356 You haven't finished moving in. 753 00:40:24,358 --> 00:40:27,394 - Do you want a hand? - Uh... 754 00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:29,330 No. 755 00:40:31,266 --> 00:40:33,299 I'll do it after. 756 00:40:33,301 --> 00:40:36,874 And even so, you're going with Martha. 757 00:40:36,876 --> 00:40:40,570 She is totally alone, Damian. 758 00:40:40,572 --> 00:40:43,078 None of her friends are helping her with this. 759 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:46,245 She even told me I wasn't her first choice. 760 00:40:46,247 --> 00:40:48,852 It's like her daughter doesn't even exist. 761 00:40:48,854 --> 00:40:50,018 In the years I was with her, 762 00:40:50,020 --> 00:40:52,152 she never told me she had a daughter. 763 00:40:52,154 --> 00:40:53,956 I know, it's a... 764 00:40:53,958 --> 00:40:54,957 It's a sad story. 765 00:40:54,959 --> 00:40:59,260 It's a terrible, terrible misunderstanding. 766 00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:04,032 Have you told her that we're in touch? 767 00:41:04,034 --> 00:41:06,034 Uh... No. 768 00:41:06,036 --> 00:41:08,707 Um, we talked about you in a... in a general way. 769 00:41:08,709 --> 00:41:11,974 - She has nice memories of you. - Oh. Really? 770 00:41:11,976 --> 00:41:14,240 Our relationship was mostly physical. 771 00:41:14,242 --> 00:41:17,012 She was always about to go off somewhere else, 772 00:41:17,014 --> 00:41:21,577 that's why our lovemaking had that sense of urgency. 773 00:41:21,579 --> 00:41:24,151 It was like having sex with a terrorist... 774 00:41:24,153 --> 00:41:25,515 it always felt like the last time. 775 00:41:25,517 --> 00:41:28,121 Well, she rates you pretty highly as a lover. 776 00:41:28,123 --> 00:41:29,518 I'd like to know what rating you give me. 777 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,960 Oh, I can't believe you're still flirting with me. 778 00:41:31,962 --> 00:41:34,732 - I'm serious. - No, no, you're not serious. 779 00:41:34,734 --> 00:41:37,493 What's serious is Martha's situation. 780 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,902 And your being terrified of death? 781 00:41:39,904 --> 00:41:41,871 You just published a book about that. 782 00:41:41,873 --> 00:41:44,236 Have you overcome that, thanks to the book? 783 00:41:44,238 --> 00:41:47,076 No. 784 00:41:55,447 --> 00:41:57,856 Hi. How are you? 785 00:41:58,087 --> 00:41:58,921 Better. 786 00:41:58,923 --> 00:42:01,682 Much better since you said yes. 787 00:42:01,684 --> 00:42:03,827 Where are you? Are you at home? 788 00:42:03,829 --> 00:42:04,894 Yeah. 789 00:42:04,896 --> 00:42:05,994 I'm watering the plants. 790 00:42:05,996 --> 00:42:09,392 Oh, I thought you had someone who did that for you. 791 00:42:09,394 --> 00:42:10,327 I do. 792 00:42:10,329 --> 00:42:13,495 But today I felt like doing it and I am enjoying it. 793 00:42:13,497 --> 00:42:15,332 Okay. Good. 794 00:42:15,334 --> 00:42:20,106 Um, have you... Have you decided where we're going? 795 00:42:20,108 --> 00:42:22,306 That's why I called. 796 00:42:22,308 --> 00:42:23,604 It's, uh, near Woodstock, 797 00:42:23,606 --> 00:42:26,079 it's about two hours from the city. 798 00:42:26,081 --> 00:42:27,278 It looks fantastic. 799 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,116 Uh, it's a bit expensive, but, hey, 800 00:42:30,118 --> 00:42:33,517 the occasion calls for it. 801 00:42:34,023 --> 00:42:36,320 So, do you know how long... 802 00:42:36,322 --> 00:42:37,618 I've rented it for a month. 803 00:42:37,620 --> 00:42:41,189 - That should give me more than enough time. - A month? 804 00:42:41,690 --> 00:42:44,130 Yeah. My blood count's low 805 00:42:44,132 --> 00:42:45,560 and I have to take a break 806 00:42:45,562 --> 00:42:47,166 before I start the new treatment, 807 00:42:47,168 --> 00:42:48,463 and you're the only one who knows 808 00:42:48,465 --> 00:42:50,696 I'm not going back to the hospital. 809 00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:53,204 It's not like I've picked a date. 810 00:42:53,206 --> 00:42:57,111 I mean, you'll never know it anyway. 811 00:42:57,540 --> 00:43:00,477 But... I'm ready to go. 812 00:43:01,346 --> 00:43:04,083 I would even say I'm impatient. 813 00:43:04,085 --> 00:43:05,678 I'm gonna be giving a lecture 814 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,054 near Woodstock at Bard in two weeks, 815 00:43:08,056 --> 00:43:09,187 so we can see each other. 816 00:43:09,189 --> 00:43:11,123 Mmm, I don't think that's a good idea, 817 00:43:11,125 --> 00:43:13,488 I'll be with Martha all the time. 818 00:43:13,490 --> 00:43:15,589 I'll call you if I can. 819 00:43:15,591 --> 00:43:17,327 You're going to need a lawyer. 820 00:43:17,329 --> 00:43:18,834 Yes, I should look for one. 821 00:43:18,836 --> 00:43:22,629 Let me help you with that, but I'll have to fill them in. 822 00:43:22,631 --> 00:43:25,137 No, no, in that case, no. 823 00:43:25,139 --> 00:43:26,336 This is an absolute secret. 824 00:43:26,338 --> 00:43:27,876 Martha doesn't even know I've told you. 825 00:43:27,878 --> 00:43:32,013 Okay. But if you need anything, you should let me know. 826 00:43:33,245 --> 00:43:35,181 I worry about you. 827 00:43:35,643 --> 00:43:37,117 Thank you. 828 00:44:34,635 --> 00:44:36,140 According to this map, 829 00:44:36,142 --> 00:44:39,275 we go up these stairs to enter the house. 830 00:44:39,277 --> 00:44:40,806 Okay. 831 00:45:09,768 --> 00:45:11,440 Look at this. 832 00:45:25,685 --> 00:45:27,718 Wow, it's so beautiful. 833 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:32,295 It's so much more beautiful than in the photographs. 834 00:45:35,364 --> 00:45:36,891 Is that a real Hopper? 835 00:45:36,893 --> 00:45:39,764 I don't think they would have left it here. 836 00:45:39,973 --> 00:45:42,006 It's a very good copy. 837 00:45:42,008 --> 00:45:43,667 It looks real. 838 00:46:06,131 --> 00:46:08,164 - Do you hear them? - Mm-hmm. 839 00:46:08,166 --> 00:46:10,069 Isn't that wonderful? 840 00:46:13,533 --> 00:46:17,834 And we can lie in the sun, like in the Hopper, 841 00:46:18,505 --> 00:46:21,673 and catch the evening breeze. 842 00:46:26,744 --> 00:46:28,449 Are you okay? 843 00:46:30,385 --> 00:46:31,914 Very happy. 844 00:46:48,931 --> 00:46:50,931 Do you mind if I take this one? 845 00:46:50,933 --> 00:46:53,573 Of course not. It's your house. 846 00:46:56,311 --> 00:46:58,674 Mmm. This one is a little small, 847 00:46:58,676 --> 00:47:00,115 I'm gonna look downstairs. 848 00:47:00,117 --> 00:47:01,679 All right. 849 00:47:18,729 --> 00:47:21,666 I'm gonna take this one, okay? 850 00:47:21,996 --> 00:47:24,073 Very good! 851 00:47:24,075 --> 00:47:28,143 You don't mind that I'm not in the room next door? 852 00:47:28,145 --> 00:47:30,774 I can hear you breathe! 853 00:47:31,214 --> 00:47:33,280 And yell! 854 00:47:33,282 --> 00:47:35,877 Okay! 855 00:47:43,687 --> 00:47:46,162 Here we go. 856 00:47:49,429 --> 00:47:51,528 Let's get you unpacked. 857 00:47:51,530 --> 00:47:53,026 Thank you. 858 00:47:53,202 --> 00:47:54,828 I'll unpack it later. 859 00:47:54,830 --> 00:47:57,567 You're not my caretaker, Ingrid. 860 00:47:57,569 --> 00:47:59,274 You're my guest. 861 00:47:59,604 --> 00:48:00,405 Okay. 862 00:48:00,407 --> 00:48:03,971 Um... I'll go unpack my things. 863 00:48:20,492 --> 00:48:22,791 Martha? 864 00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,367 What is it, honey? 865 00:48:29,369 --> 00:48:31,270 - You won't believe it. - What? 866 00:48:31,272 --> 00:48:32,172 I forgot it! 867 00:48:32,174 --> 00:48:33,701 You forgot what? 868 00:48:33,703 --> 00:48:34,933 The pill, the euthanasia pill! 869 00:48:34,935 --> 00:48:37,034 I brought all the others! We have to go back. 870 00:48:37,036 --> 00:48:39,410 Oh, it's okay, we'll go back first thing in the morning. 871 00:48:39,412 --> 00:48:41,247 - No, not tomorrow! - Don't worry about it. 872 00:48:41,249 --> 00:48:42,644 We have to go now! 873 00:48:42,646 --> 00:48:43,711 I just need to be sure 874 00:48:43,713 --> 00:48:46,351 that I didn't lose it or misplace it, 875 00:48:46,353 --> 00:48:49,158 that I didn't just dream it up. 876 00:48:49,587 --> 00:48:50,885 Okay. 877 00:48:55,494 --> 00:48:59,596 Buying another pill would be extremely complicated. 878 00:49:01,136 --> 00:49:04,830 I have a friend who knows a mathematician 879 00:49:04,832 --> 00:49:07,604 who found it on the dark web. 880 00:49:08,242 --> 00:49:10,242 It's all very sordid, 881 00:49:10,244 --> 00:49:13,346 not to mention totally illegal. 882 00:49:16,008 --> 00:49:17,744 It's scary... 883 00:49:17,746 --> 00:49:19,581 knowing that all that exists 884 00:49:19,583 --> 00:49:22,817 just behind our computer screens. 885 00:49:24,621 --> 00:49:26,722 I feel like a criminal. 886 00:49:30,759 --> 00:49:33,496 I never thought I'd be back here again. 887 00:49:33,498 --> 00:49:35,762 With that wonderful skyline. 888 00:49:35,764 --> 00:49:38,060 Life always surprises you. 889 00:49:38,062 --> 00:49:39,996 All right, let's get to work. 890 00:49:39,998 --> 00:49:41,635 - Okay. - I'll start in the kitchen. 891 00:49:41,637 --> 00:49:42,834 Don't worry, we'll find it. 892 00:49:42,836 --> 00:49:44,770 Just, um... Just try to think of all the places 893 00:49:44,772 --> 00:49:45,837 you usually hide things. 894 00:49:45,839 --> 00:49:48,246 This is the first thing I have ever hidden. 895 00:49:48,248 --> 00:49:49,071 Really? 896 00:49:49,073 --> 00:49:52,316 The only thing I can remember is I put it in an envelope. 897 00:49:52,318 --> 00:49:53,482 Okay. Uh... 898 00:49:53,484 --> 00:49:55,187 Why don't I start in your office? 899 00:49:55,189 --> 00:49:56,815 - Is that okay? Okay. - Yeah, yeah. 900 00:49:56,817 --> 00:50:00,084 Where did I put it? Where did I put it? 901 00:50:17,739 --> 00:50:21,346 Oh, my God. We're never gonna find it. 902 00:51:35,210 --> 00:51:36,981 I found an envelope. 903 00:51:37,388 --> 00:51:38,818 That's it! 904 00:51:39,016 --> 00:51:40,245 Where did you find it? 905 00:51:40,247 --> 00:51:41,213 In your desk. 906 00:51:41,215 --> 00:51:44,491 There was key in a drawer and I opened it. 907 00:51:44,493 --> 00:51:46,592 How could I have forgotten? 908 00:51:46,594 --> 00:51:47,824 I even left the key in it? 909 00:51:47,826 --> 00:51:50,497 Well, you meant to take it, at the last minute, you forgot. 910 00:51:50,499 --> 00:51:52,336 It's not so weird. 911 00:51:54,129 --> 00:51:55,834 Thank you. 912 00:51:56,131 --> 00:51:58,870 Such a strange sensation. 913 00:51:59,266 --> 00:52:01,574 It's like being here after I'm dead. 914 00:52:01,576 --> 00:52:03,202 Oh, God, don't say that. 915 00:52:03,204 --> 00:52:07,043 It's too soon for you to refer to yourself as a ghost. 916 00:52:07,648 --> 00:52:10,418 Let me straighten up before we leave. 917 00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:12,015 Thank you. 918 00:53:05,935 --> 00:53:08,507 Forgive me for all this hassle. 919 00:53:08,509 --> 00:53:09,838 I'm sorry, really. 920 00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,137 It's okay. 921 00:53:12,139 --> 00:53:15,516 What a great place to return to. 922 00:53:16,583 --> 00:53:18,517 Stupid fridge. 923 00:53:18,519 --> 00:53:20,488 You need some help? 924 00:53:22,820 --> 00:53:24,151 I got it. 925 00:53:30,762 --> 00:53:32,223 You know, maybe... 926 00:53:32,225 --> 00:53:35,965 leaving the pill behind was a kind of a sign? 927 00:53:36,537 --> 00:53:39,573 Maybe you're not as ready as you think. 928 00:53:41,102 --> 00:53:44,368 I told you never to say that to me. 929 00:53:45,237 --> 00:53:47,844 I don't remember you telling me that. 930 00:53:49,714 --> 00:53:52,783 I think I've said so many things to you. 931 00:53:53,344 --> 00:53:56,719 That's the problem with chemo brain. 932 00:53:56,721 --> 00:54:01,627 My memory keeps failing me and I get distracted so easily. 933 00:54:02,628 --> 00:54:06,630 It can continue even after the treatment stops 934 00:54:06,632 --> 00:54:09,096 and it can go on for years. 935 00:54:09,393 --> 00:54:12,000 I'll be spared that, at least. 936 00:54:14,332 --> 00:54:16,103 When I write... 937 00:54:16,774 --> 00:54:18,303 When I wrote... 938 00:54:19,271 --> 00:54:22,041 I had to proofread a thousand times. 939 00:54:22,043 --> 00:54:25,307 I can't trust my judgement about anything anymore. 940 00:54:25,309 --> 00:54:26,550 Well... 941 00:54:26,552 --> 00:54:29,916 Then why do you trust this decision? 942 00:54:29,918 --> 00:54:33,218 How do you know it's not chemo brain, too? 943 00:54:34,054 --> 00:54:36,384 I've left the pill in the top drawer 944 00:54:36,386 --> 00:54:38,122 of the bedside table. 945 00:54:38,124 --> 00:54:41,664 If I forget, which I don't think I will, 946 00:54:41,666 --> 00:54:43,424 you will remind me. 947 00:54:43,426 --> 00:54:46,768 And I prefer not to talk about this anymore. 948 00:54:46,770 --> 00:54:50,675 Well, it's my business, too, don't you think? 949 00:54:53,744 --> 00:54:55,680 Sure. Of course. 950 00:54:57,011 --> 00:54:59,275 I'll leave a signed letter for the police 951 00:54:59,277 --> 00:55:03,246 telling them everything, including the name of the pill 952 00:55:03,248 --> 00:55:04,555 and where I got it. 953 00:55:04,557 --> 00:55:08,448 Your name will not appear anywhere. 954 00:55:08,450 --> 00:55:12,892 All you have to do is to say that you know nothing. 955 00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:15,158 Don't budge from that. 956 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,633 I don't wanna give you any more information. 957 00:55:17,635 --> 00:55:19,967 The less you know, the better. 958 00:55:21,265 --> 00:55:23,773 And this is important. 959 00:55:28,580 --> 00:55:30,679 I'll sleep with my door open, 960 00:55:30,681 --> 00:55:33,814 and the day that you find it closed... 961 00:55:33,816 --> 00:55:36,553 is the day it's already happened. 962 00:55:36,555 --> 00:55:39,481 That's the sign, door closed. 963 00:55:44,761 --> 00:55:47,158 I know it's difficult. 964 00:55:48,995 --> 00:55:51,833 But just think we're on vacation. 965 00:55:52,537 --> 00:55:56,429 You can write, we can come and go... 966 00:55:56,431 --> 00:55:59,302 I don't think I'll be able to concentrate. 967 00:56:01,106 --> 00:56:02,039 And if I write, 968 00:56:02,041 --> 00:56:03,502 you might show up in it somewhere 969 00:56:03,504 --> 00:56:04,712 and I don't wanna do that. 970 00:56:04,714 --> 00:56:07,814 Yeah. That could complicate your life 971 00:56:07,816 --> 00:56:09,717 if the police investigate. 972 00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:11,147 Well, I'm not gonna do it. 973 00:56:11,149 --> 00:56:12,786 Wait till I'm dead. 974 00:56:12,788 --> 00:56:14,249 Oh, God! 975 00:56:14,251 --> 00:56:18,926 Can you not say, "Wait until I'm dead," please? 976 00:56:21,060 --> 00:56:22,633 I promise. 977 00:56:24,096 --> 00:56:25,865 I'd like to find a gym somewhere around here 978 00:56:25,867 --> 00:56:28,429 that I can go to a couple of days a week. 979 00:56:30,035 --> 00:56:31,100 I'm the only one who eats 980 00:56:31,102 --> 00:56:32,530 and I don't want to gain ten pounds 981 00:56:32,532 --> 00:56:33,608 while you waste away. 982 00:56:33,610 --> 00:56:35,203 Oh, give me a chance. 983 00:56:35,205 --> 00:56:37,042 I'll catch up with you. 984 00:56:40,144 --> 00:56:42,080 Look, I'm eating. 985 00:56:42,982 --> 00:56:46,953 I have practically held death in my hands. 986 00:56:47,514 --> 00:56:51,892 I never imagined it would be something so light. 987 00:57:27,663 --> 00:57:29,060 Martha? 988 00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:35,669 Good morning. 989 00:57:35,671 --> 00:57:37,497 I'm making breakfast. 990 00:57:38,135 --> 00:57:39,266 You want some toast? 991 00:57:39,268 --> 00:57:40,905 No, just some coffee. 992 00:57:40,907 --> 00:57:42,643 Help yourself. It's already made. 993 00:57:42,645 --> 00:57:45,107 There's juice, fruit... 994 00:57:45,109 --> 00:57:46,979 whatever you want. 995 00:57:51,444 --> 00:57:54,753 My behavior yesterday was unacceptable. 996 00:57:54,755 --> 00:57:58,856 I completely understand that it drove you crazy. 997 00:57:58,858 --> 00:58:03,423 But in my current state, I can't make any promises. 998 00:58:03,764 --> 00:58:05,590 So, just in case... 999 00:58:07,328 --> 00:58:11,099 I put a medium-range sedative in this drawer. 1000 00:58:11,101 --> 00:58:12,628 And if you find me unbearable, 1001 00:58:12,630 --> 00:58:16,137 you just have one and you can relax. 1002 00:58:16,139 --> 00:58:18,106 I could have used that last night. 1003 00:58:18,108 --> 00:58:19,074 You... 1004 00:58:19,076 --> 00:58:22,946 You're one of a kind, Martha. You really... You really are. 1005 00:58:24,279 --> 00:58:26,444 I've made a list of stuff to buy. 1006 00:58:26,446 --> 00:58:28,448 We need a few things. 1007 00:58:28,888 --> 00:58:31,450 Is there anything you want me to get? 1008 00:58:32,220 --> 00:58:33,859 Don't think so. 1009 00:58:34,156 --> 00:58:36,829 Do you wanna come to the store with me? 1010 00:58:38,193 --> 00:58:39,995 Maybe another day. 1011 00:58:39,997 --> 00:58:42,261 It's so nice here. 1012 00:58:42,263 --> 00:58:44,901 I'd like to stay if you don't mind. 1013 00:58:44,903 --> 00:58:46,872 No, of course not. 1014 00:58:48,368 --> 00:58:51,666 I found a gym nearby, too. 1015 00:58:51,668 --> 00:58:52,777 That's great. 1016 00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:55,408 I think that's a very good idea. 1017 00:58:58,147 --> 00:59:00,213 Okay, well... 1018 00:59:00,215 --> 00:59:03,581 I have my phone with me if you need anything. 1019 00:59:03,889 --> 00:59:05,649 Thanks, love. 1020 00:59:21,136 --> 00:59:21,871 Hi. 1021 00:59:21,873 --> 00:59:23,598 I was hoping I could use the gym today. 1022 00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:24,599 Are you a member? 1023 00:59:24,601 --> 00:59:26,073 Uh, no. I'm just in town for a little bit. 1024 00:59:26,075 --> 00:59:27,943 If you use one of our personal trainers, 1025 00:59:27,945 --> 00:59:29,175 you don't need to be a member. 1026 00:59:29,177 --> 00:59:31,980 Um, okay. I'll use one of your trainers then. 1027 00:59:31,982 --> 00:59:34,413 You'll like Jonah, you'll see. 1028 00:59:34,952 --> 00:59:35,786 Thanks. 1029 00:59:35,788 --> 00:59:38,646 So, would you like to start a warm up doing steps? 1030 00:59:38,648 --> 00:59:39,955 - Okay. - Is okay? 1031 00:59:39,957 --> 00:59:42,925 Do you think you can do this for 30 seconds? 1032 00:59:42,927 --> 00:59:46,898 - Um, sure. All right. - Okay, go for it. Have a try. 1033 00:59:47,195 --> 00:59:49,591 And we are on. Okay, nice. 1034 00:59:49,593 --> 00:59:51,064 - Keep focus on your leg. - Mmm-hmm. 1035 00:59:51,066 --> 00:59:52,626 And, if you can, move your arm... 1036 00:59:52,628 --> 00:59:54,905 - Okay. - Okay, with each step. 1037 00:59:55,598 --> 00:59:56,839 And we are done. 1038 00:59:56,841 --> 01:00:00,106 Nice. You're pretty strong, you young lady. 1039 01:00:00,108 --> 01:00:01,371 What I am is winded. 1040 01:00:01,373 --> 01:00:05,045 Well, if you want, there are other variations we can do. 1041 01:00:05,850 --> 01:00:07,916 I mean, you can go try like this. 1042 01:00:07,918 --> 01:00:09,379 You can go back and forth. 1043 01:00:09,381 --> 01:00:12,448 Or you can jump on it and go left 1044 01:00:12,450 --> 01:00:15,187 and right or back and on the box. 1045 01:00:15,189 --> 01:00:17,255 - Okay. Okay. - Have a try one more. 1046 01:00:17,257 --> 01:00:20,192 Nice. 1047 01:00:20,194 --> 01:00:21,754 - Focus on your core here. - Uh-huh. 1048 01:00:21,756 --> 01:00:24,801 And breathe. 1049 01:00:24,803 --> 01:00:26,330 Inhale and exhale. 1050 01:00:29,269 --> 01:00:30,565 Perfect. One more. 1051 01:00:34,471 --> 01:00:36,176 Is everything okay? 1052 01:00:40,279 --> 01:00:44,283 When the body's in great shape, it takes longer to die. 1053 01:00:46,186 --> 01:00:47,284 When death comes, 1054 01:00:47,286 --> 01:00:50,826 the mind wants to go, but the body keeps fighting. 1055 01:00:50,828 --> 01:00:54,524 Heart beating "no" with every beat. 1056 01:00:54,898 --> 01:00:55,721 Well... 1057 01:00:55,723 --> 01:00:58,999 all the more reason to look after yourself. 1058 01:00:59,001 --> 01:01:00,935 I live with a friend who's dying. 1059 01:01:00,937 --> 01:01:02,466 I'm sorry. 1060 01:01:02,972 --> 01:01:05,502 Come. Let's have a seat. 1061 01:01:05,733 --> 01:01:07,108 Come here. 1062 01:01:10,540 --> 01:01:13,377 Is there anything that I can do? 1063 01:01:18,855 --> 01:01:21,053 I wish I could give you a hug, 1064 01:01:21,055 --> 01:01:23,286 but we're not allowed to touch clients anymore 1065 01:01:23,288 --> 01:01:26,555 because of the lawsuits and whatever. 1066 01:01:29,195 --> 01:01:31,096 And it's a problem, 1067 01:01:31,098 --> 01:01:33,659 because it can be hard to correct people's posture 1068 01:01:33,661 --> 01:01:35,265 with just words, 1069 01:01:35,267 --> 01:01:37,907 and touching is so important. 1070 01:01:38,303 --> 01:01:40,831 This world is absurd and inhumane. 1071 01:01:40,833 --> 01:01:44,177 I don't see it improving any time soon. 1072 01:01:45,706 --> 01:01:48,377 But thank you, I feel hugged. 1073 01:01:54,615 --> 01:01:57,781 Oh, I've been meaning to read this book. 1074 01:01:57,783 --> 01:02:01,257 Isn't it a wonderful title? Erotic Vagrancy. 1075 01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:03,030 Do you wanna buy it? 1076 01:02:04,361 --> 01:02:06,935 I won't have time to finish it. 1077 01:02:12,864 --> 01:02:15,304 I like the way it's laid out here. 1078 01:02:15,306 --> 01:02:16,470 Mmm. 1079 01:02:16,472 --> 01:02:18,043 Oh, look. 1080 01:02:18,045 --> 01:02:19,838 Martha Gellhorn. 1081 01:02:20,047 --> 01:02:22,379 The View from the Ground. 1082 01:02:23,611 --> 01:02:28,185 She wrote that you only ever truly love one war, 1083 01:02:28,187 --> 01:02:31,157 after that you're just doing your duty. 1084 01:02:32,752 --> 01:02:34,786 Which one was yours? 1085 01:02:35,787 --> 01:02:38,394 Bosnia, without a doubt. 1086 01:02:43,003 --> 01:02:45,971 The fight to survive by the Bosnian people 1087 01:02:45,973 --> 01:02:49,238 against a perfectly equipped army... 1088 01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,701 stole the hearts of all of us 1089 01:02:50,703 --> 01:02:53,110 who witnessed the extermination. 1090 01:02:53,112 --> 01:02:57,149 There are very few women war correspondents. 1091 01:02:57,677 --> 01:02:59,842 War is a man's thing. 1092 01:02:59,844 --> 01:03:02,119 You have to sort of become one of the guys 1093 01:03:02,121 --> 01:03:04,286 and it was never a problem for me, 1094 01:03:04,288 --> 01:03:06,156 I've always lived like a man. 1095 01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:11,260 Actually, I think what Michelle really missed... 1096 01:03:11,262 --> 01:03:14,925 was having a maternal figure in her life. 1097 01:03:15,134 --> 01:03:18,497 And in this, I must admit 1098 01:03:18,499 --> 01:03:20,400 she... she was right. 1099 01:03:20,402 --> 01:03:22,767 Don't be so hard on yourself. 1100 01:03:26,771 --> 01:03:29,871 Hey, look who's coming to town! 1101 01:03:29,873 --> 01:03:31,840 The life of the party! 1102 01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:33,347 "How bad can it get? 1103 01:03:33,349 --> 01:03:35,811 Navigating urban life with integrity. " 1104 01:03:35,813 --> 01:03:36,845 You feel like going? 1105 01:03:36,847 --> 01:03:38,352 No, you know what? I've heard it already 1106 01:03:38,354 --> 01:03:40,222 and it's not an evening I'd like to repeat. 1107 01:03:40,224 --> 01:03:42,719 We all have our own personal apocalypses. 1108 01:03:42,721 --> 01:03:44,622 Are you having an awful time with me? 1109 01:03:44,624 --> 01:03:47,493 No, no, I meant him, his lecture. 1110 01:03:47,495 --> 01:03:49,792 Global crisis, climate change. 1111 01:03:49,794 --> 01:03:51,103 Yeah. 1112 01:03:51,202 --> 01:03:52,201 Hi. 1113 01:03:52,203 --> 01:03:53,864 I love your hair. 1114 01:03:54,139 --> 01:03:55,536 Nice. 1115 01:04:05,578 --> 01:04:08,744 When the nightmares come rushing in, 1116 01:04:08,746 --> 01:04:11,582 I think about all the men I've loved. 1117 01:04:11,584 --> 01:04:13,287 Sounds like a song. 1118 01:04:13,289 --> 01:04:15,355 A good one. 1119 01:04:17,359 --> 01:04:20,296 Even if it was just for one night. 1120 01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:24,498 Sometimes I think about Damian. 1121 01:04:28,535 --> 01:04:30,799 I still think sex is the best way 1122 01:04:30,801 --> 01:04:34,002 to fend off looming thoughts of death. 1123 01:04:34,739 --> 01:04:37,675 Like those Spanish Carmelites. 1124 01:04:38,445 --> 01:04:42,084 Wars turned me into a promiscuous woman, Ingrid. 1125 01:04:42,086 --> 01:04:44,011 Good. 1126 01:04:45,012 --> 01:04:46,781 Are you still in touch with him? 1127 01:04:46,783 --> 01:04:49,588 - With who? - Damian. 1128 01:04:50,292 --> 01:04:51,423 Um... 1129 01:04:51,425 --> 01:04:53,856 You know... Um, from time to time. 1130 01:04:55,627 --> 01:04:59,026 "How bad can it get?" 1131 01:05:00,335 --> 01:05:01,598 Well... 1132 01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:05,934 much worse than you imagine, Damian, honey. 1133 01:05:09,278 --> 01:05:10,642 Hey. 1134 01:05:11,181 --> 01:05:12,743 You all right? 1135 01:05:13,150 --> 01:05:15,119 I was trying to write. 1136 01:05:16,186 --> 01:05:17,583 I can't. 1137 01:05:19,485 --> 01:05:24,356 In this war, I'm incapable of writing anything. 1138 01:05:24,358 --> 01:05:26,052 What about reading? 1139 01:05:26,723 --> 01:05:28,362 You love to read. 1140 01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:30,265 I've tried. 1141 01:05:30,958 --> 01:05:34,467 I've tried with some of my favorite writers. 1142 01:05:35,666 --> 01:05:39,142 The spell just isn't there anymore. 1143 01:05:41,111 --> 01:05:43,674 I'm talking about Faulkner, 1144 01:05:44,576 --> 01:05:46,215 Hemingway... 1145 01:05:47,447 --> 01:05:49,548 I can't concentrate. 1146 01:05:50,043 --> 01:05:54,454 My mind just flies off into the void. 1147 01:05:55,081 --> 01:05:57,292 If you're too tired, 1148 01:05:58,128 --> 01:05:59,821 I could read to you. 1149 01:06:02,296 --> 01:06:04,089 Not just reading, 1150 01:06:04,694 --> 01:06:07,466 all pleasure's been reduced. 1151 01:06:09,435 --> 01:06:10,401 It's hard to know 1152 01:06:10,403 --> 01:06:13,637 what to pay attention to anymore. 1153 01:06:16,101 --> 01:06:18,103 I have very little time 1154 01:06:18,411 --> 01:06:20,578 and I don't want to waste it. 1155 01:06:22,217 --> 01:06:24,186 Okay. Um... 1156 01:06:26,980 --> 01:06:31,050 What about music? 1157 01:06:32,359 --> 01:06:35,624 I can only listen to the birds singing. 1158 01:06:35,626 --> 01:06:39,496 Well, luckily, they give us a serenade every day. 1159 01:06:39,498 --> 01:06:42,025 Music decenters me. 1160 01:06:42,027 --> 01:06:45,468 It comes between me and whatever it is I'm doing, 1161 01:06:45,470 --> 01:06:47,802 even if it's just thinking. 1162 01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:52,002 Maybe the chemo is affecting my hearing. 1163 01:06:52,004 --> 01:06:53,740 Oh, honey. 1164 01:06:53,742 --> 01:06:57,845 I've been reduced to very little of myself. 1165 01:07:05,193 --> 01:07:09,395 I long for some peace of body and mind. 1166 01:07:10,990 --> 01:07:15,335 And to just talk whenever I'm invaded by memory. 1167 01:07:15,863 --> 01:07:16,961 Am I talking too much? 1168 01:07:16,963 --> 01:07:19,370 No, no, no, no. Talk all you want, 1169 01:07:19,372 --> 01:07:20,965 I love listening to you. 1170 01:10:05,830 --> 01:10:07,533 What's going on? 1171 01:10:07,535 --> 01:10:09,867 What's wrong? 1172 01:10:11,330 --> 01:10:14,806 Your door was closed, so I thought you... 1173 01:10:15,708 --> 01:10:18,203 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1174 01:10:18,205 --> 01:10:19,171 I opened a window 1175 01:10:19,173 --> 01:10:22,515 and the breeze must have closed it. 1176 01:10:22,517 --> 01:10:24,178 Oh, my God! 1177 01:10:30,459 --> 01:10:32,657 Do you think it's fair to be mad at me 1178 01:10:32,659 --> 01:10:34,925 because I'm still alive? 1179 01:10:37,499 --> 01:10:40,260 Think of it as a rehearsal. 1180 01:10:40,997 --> 01:10:43,604 Now you know how it's gonna be. 1181 01:10:44,033 --> 01:10:46,639 You know how you're gonna feel. 1182 01:10:47,365 --> 01:10:49,607 You're gonna have to make some calls 1183 01:10:49,609 --> 01:10:53,446 and act out all the things we talked about. 1184 01:10:53,448 --> 01:10:56,110 And you never knew anything... 1185 01:10:56,418 --> 01:10:57,912 and we were on vacation... 1186 01:10:57,914 --> 01:11:00,246 Please, just stop! 1187 01:11:01,621 --> 01:11:02,587 Okay. 1188 01:12:12,184 --> 01:12:14,318 Should we call it a night? 1189 01:12:14,923 --> 01:12:15,757 Oh! 1190 01:12:15,759 --> 01:12:19,257 Or does the young lady wanna keep watching movies? 1191 01:12:19,862 --> 01:12:23,833 Did you tell me that they have The Dead? 1192 01:12:24,394 --> 01:12:25,635 Or did I dream that? 1193 01:12:25,637 --> 01:12:27,736 Yeah, they have it. 1194 01:12:27,738 --> 01:12:30,367 Um, you wanna watch it? 1195 01:12:30,642 --> 01:12:31,740 Yes, please. 1196 01:12:31,742 --> 01:12:33,810 Here we go. 1197 01:12:35,944 --> 01:12:37,517 Here we go. 1198 01:12:46,856 --> 01:12:50,087 Yes, the newspapers are right. 1199 01:12:50,089 --> 01:12:53,794 Snow is general all over Ireland. 1200 01:12:53,796 --> 01:12:58,293 Falling on every part of the dark central plain, 1201 01:12:58,295 --> 01:13:00,902 on the treeless hills. 1202 01:13:01,265 --> 01:13:04,233 Softly upon the Bog of Allen 1203 01:13:04,235 --> 01:13:08,171 and farther westward, softly falling 1204 01:13:08,173 --> 01:13:13,110 into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. 1205 01:13:13,112 --> 01:13:17,380 One by one, we're all becoming shades. 1206 01:13:18,656 --> 01:13:22,119 Snow is falling, 1207 01:13:22,121 --> 01:13:24,418 falling in that lonely churchyard 1208 01:13:24,420 --> 01:13:27,423 where Michael Furey lies buried. 1209 01:13:28,094 --> 01:13:30,896 Falling faintly through the universe 1210 01:13:30,898 --> 01:13:33,668 and faintly falling, 1211 01:13:33,670 --> 01:13:37,333 like the descent of their last end, 1212 01:13:37,641 --> 01:13:42,371 upon all the living and the dead. 1213 01:14:01,258 --> 01:14:02,765 Do you hear them? 1214 01:14:03,062 --> 01:14:04,492 Mmm-hmm. 1215 01:14:12,499 --> 01:14:14,072 It's daytime. 1216 01:14:18,109 --> 01:14:19,979 And you're alive. 1217 01:14:29,890 --> 01:14:31,549 Oh, this is too much. 1218 01:14:31,551 --> 01:14:32,660 - Yeah? - This is harder 1219 01:14:32,662 --> 01:14:34,994 - than I thought it'd be. - Okay. 1220 01:14:36,864 --> 01:14:37,896 I think I need to sit. 1221 01:14:37,898 --> 01:14:41,031 All right. Yeah, let's go sit over here. 1222 01:14:41,033 --> 01:14:43,233 Here, let me help you. 1223 01:14:46,566 --> 01:14:49,877 Hey, I've got you. Here we go. 1224 01:14:50,141 --> 01:14:51,713 Here you go. 1225 01:14:52,648 --> 01:14:54,210 Okay. 1226 01:14:55,211 --> 01:14:56,881 Oh! 1227 01:14:56,883 --> 01:14:59,952 - Oh, that's much better. - Oh, good. 1228 01:15:02,922 --> 01:15:06,154 Before coming here, I made a new will. 1229 01:15:06,156 --> 01:15:09,830 Aw, let's not talk about this now, please. 1230 01:15:10,226 --> 01:15:13,029 I'm leaving the apartment and everything in it 1231 01:15:13,031 --> 01:15:15,330 to Michelle and you. 1232 01:15:19,972 --> 01:15:23,336 I found your war journals in your desk. 1233 01:15:23,338 --> 01:15:26,141 What do you want us to do with them? 1234 01:15:26,143 --> 01:15:27,978 Is it okay if I read them? 1235 01:15:27,980 --> 01:15:30,180 Of course you can read them. 1236 01:15:32,951 --> 01:15:34,687 Can I tell your story? 1237 01:15:34,689 --> 01:15:36,724 You can do what you want. 1238 01:15:37,252 --> 01:15:39,056 I won't be here. 1239 01:15:40,618 --> 01:15:42,191 Can I say that? 1240 01:15:42,422 --> 01:15:43,830 No. 1241 01:15:44,589 --> 01:15:46,030 Okay. 1242 01:16:39,214 --> 01:16:41,953 Let's not talk about this now, okay? 1243 01:16:42,283 --> 01:16:45,759 All right, I'll see you there. Bye. 1244 01:16:52,260 --> 01:16:53,424 Dear Ingrid, 1245 01:16:53,426 --> 01:16:59,002 Today is such a beautiful day that it seemed to me it... 1246 01:17:00,630 --> 01:17:01,906 Hey. 1247 01:17:02,137 --> 01:17:02,839 Hi. 1248 01:17:02,841 --> 01:17:04,874 - Everything okay? - Yeah. 1249 01:17:04,876 --> 01:17:06,700 This breeze is delicious. 1250 01:17:06,702 --> 01:17:09,914 Be careful, it's a little chilly. 1251 01:17:11,014 --> 01:17:11,815 Um... 1252 01:17:11,817 --> 01:17:14,114 If you don't need me, I'm gonna go to the gym. 1253 01:17:14,116 --> 01:17:15,313 But I can stay if you want. 1254 01:17:15,315 --> 01:17:18,085 No. Please, go. I don't want to be a downer. 1255 01:17:18,087 --> 01:17:19,152 You're not a downer. 1256 01:17:19,154 --> 01:17:21,517 You've been pretty well-behaved. 1257 01:17:21,519 --> 01:17:24,962 Have you talked to your trainer about me? 1258 01:17:25,754 --> 01:17:26,830 Um... 1259 01:17:26,832 --> 01:17:29,426 Well... I mean, it came up. 1260 01:17:29,428 --> 01:17:31,934 I was talking about being in good shape 1261 01:17:31,936 --> 01:17:34,530 and the heart beating to survive. 1262 01:17:34,532 --> 01:17:37,939 You know, everything that you talked about in the hospital 1263 01:17:37,941 --> 01:17:40,238 and he looked at me like I was a lunatic, 1264 01:17:40,240 --> 01:17:43,373 so I told him I had a friend that was sick. 1265 01:17:43,375 --> 01:17:44,913 That's all. 1266 01:17:44,915 --> 01:17:50,512 Just remember, you know nothing about anything. 1267 01:17:50,514 --> 01:17:52,087 Mm. 1268 01:17:55,651 --> 01:17:58,126 Come here, give me a kiss. 1269 01:18:00,062 --> 01:18:02,064 - You okay? - Yes. 1270 01:18:24,448 --> 01:18:26,318 - Hi. - Hi. 1271 01:18:30,652 --> 01:18:33,158 I lied to her, I don't like it. 1272 01:18:33,160 --> 01:18:34,929 Well, you'll have to practice. 1273 01:18:34,931 --> 01:18:35,820 Lying? 1274 01:18:35,822 --> 01:18:40,231 Yes. Officially, you aren't aware of Martha's intentions. 1275 01:18:40,233 --> 01:18:41,067 Yeah. 1276 01:18:41,069 --> 01:18:43,168 And I found a lawyer, in case you need one. 1277 01:18:43,170 --> 01:18:45,566 Thank you. Let's not talk about this now. 1278 01:18:45,568 --> 01:18:48,074 - Mm. - How'd your lecture go? 1279 01:18:48,076 --> 01:18:53,048 Well, they weren't too happy about my not taking questions. 1280 01:18:54,016 --> 01:18:55,675 In the end, 1281 01:18:55,677 --> 01:18:59,447 people started muttering and someone called me a coward. 1282 01:18:59,449 --> 01:19:01,152 It doesn't bother me. 1283 01:19:01,154 --> 01:19:02,890 I spent way too much time 1284 01:19:02,892 --> 01:19:05,288 caring about my reputation, and for what? 1285 01:19:05,290 --> 01:19:08,258 So, what are you doing with all that time you've gotten back? 1286 01:19:08,260 --> 01:19:11,932 Are you doing more of what you love? 1287 01:19:11,934 --> 01:19:14,594 I have to admit that my interest in things 1288 01:19:14,596 --> 01:19:17,940 has been shrinking as I get older. 1289 01:19:18,468 --> 01:19:20,567 Martha said the same thing a couple days ago. 1290 01:19:20,569 --> 01:19:23,768 There are so few things left that she can really enjoy. 1291 01:19:23,770 --> 01:19:26,311 - I understand. - Mm. 1292 01:19:26,872 --> 01:19:27,981 But you're not sick. 1293 01:19:27,983 --> 01:19:30,280 No, but I feel the same way, especially after the pandemic. 1294 01:19:30,282 --> 01:19:33,714 I don't go to the cinema or listen to music. 1295 01:19:33,956 --> 01:19:35,252 I... I read a lot, 1296 01:19:35,254 --> 01:19:37,023 but only subjects to do with my lectures. 1297 01:19:37,025 --> 01:19:39,684 Mm. You still go to galleries? You used to love that. 1298 01:19:39,686 --> 01:19:41,389 When we were together, we'd go all the time 1299 01:19:41,391 --> 01:19:43,996 and talk about how powerful the art is. 1300 01:19:43,998 --> 01:19:45,525 You still like that? 1301 01:19:45,527 --> 01:19:48,330 Even if every poet in the world sat down to write a poem 1302 01:19:48,332 --> 01:19:50,937 about the climate crisis, it wouldn't save one tree. 1303 01:19:50,939 --> 01:19:53,467 At least you're still interested in trees. 1304 01:19:53,469 --> 01:19:55,139 I'm interested in sex, too. 1305 01:19:55,141 --> 01:19:57,108 Well, then you're not that bad. 1306 01:19:57,110 --> 01:19:58,802 When I was young, 1307 01:19:58,804 --> 01:20:03,708 if a day went by without sex, I thought it was incomplete. 1308 01:20:03,710 --> 01:20:04,709 I remember that. 1309 01:20:04,711 --> 01:20:10,486 I'm not nostalgic, but I miss the nights when we'd drink... 1310 01:20:10,816 --> 01:20:12,618 and take drugs, have sex, 1311 01:20:12,620 --> 01:20:16,457 all that didn't distract us from what we really wanted to do. 1312 01:20:16,459 --> 01:20:18,920 You drank and you took drugs. 1313 01:20:18,922 --> 01:20:20,724 I mean, more than I did anyway. 1314 01:20:20,726 --> 01:20:22,198 I don't know how much you drank, 1315 01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:26,103 but you always acted as you were as blitzed as the rest of us. 1316 01:20:26,105 --> 01:20:29,634 But you were an essential part of the party. 1317 01:20:29,636 --> 01:20:31,240 That is, until you got bored 1318 01:20:31,242 --> 01:20:33,937 and went off to discover Europe. 1319 01:20:34,608 --> 01:20:36,643 You want to talk about that? 1320 01:20:37,149 --> 01:20:38,676 Tell me about your lecture. 1321 01:20:39,481 --> 01:20:43,945 I admit that I've become something of a monomaniac. 1322 01:20:43,947 --> 01:20:45,782 My own son is no longer speaking to me 1323 01:20:45,784 --> 01:20:48,125 because I didn't hide how appalled I was 1324 01:20:48,127 --> 01:20:50,952 that his wife is expecting another child. 1325 01:20:50,954 --> 01:20:52,294 He doesn't want me anywhere near her 1326 01:20:52,296 --> 01:20:53,724 for fear she'll have a miscarriage. 1327 01:20:53,726 --> 01:20:56,331 What? How could you tell him that he can't have another child? 1328 01:20:56,333 --> 01:20:58,762 - It's their third! - What... 1329 01:20:58,764 --> 01:21:00,961 So, what's the next logical alternative? 1330 01:21:00,963 --> 01:21:02,402 For people to start killing themselves? 1331 01:21:02,404 --> 01:21:04,437 People should be aware, once and for all, 1332 01:21:04,439 --> 01:21:07,970 of the state of the fucking planet they're living on. 1333 01:21:08,674 --> 01:21:11,939 Well, perhaps this isn't the best subject for you. 1334 01:21:11,941 --> 01:21:16,053 You're living with a dying woman in a world 1335 01:21:16,055 --> 01:21:19,025 also in its death throes. 1336 01:21:20,026 --> 01:21:22,554 Do you really think the situation is that desperate? 1337 01:21:22,556 --> 01:21:27,328 Yes. Read the science and see what the world is doing with it. 1338 01:21:27,330 --> 01:21:32,300 They're releasing more CO2 into the air than ever before. 1339 01:21:32,302 --> 01:21:33,301 Sooner or later, 1340 01:21:33,303 --> 01:21:38,405 and I fear it will be sooner, all this will be shot to hell. 1341 01:21:38,407 --> 01:21:42,177 Nothing is going to hasten the end of the planet 1342 01:21:42,179 --> 01:21:45,510 more than the survival of neo-liberalism 1343 01:21:45,512 --> 01:21:46,775 and the rise of the far right. 1344 01:21:46,777 --> 01:21:51,881 And we have both of them here, marching side by side. 1345 01:21:53,982 --> 01:21:58,360 Sorry, I didn't want to bring you down, but... 1346 01:21:58,888 --> 01:22:00,327 I get riled up with this. 1347 01:22:00,329 --> 01:22:04,760 You cannot go around telling people that there's no hope. 1348 01:22:04,762 --> 01:22:05,695 It's tragic. 1349 01:22:05,697 --> 01:22:08,830 And maybe it's really unpleasant of me to say so, 1350 01:22:08,832 --> 01:22:11,074 but I've completely lost faith 1351 01:22:11,076 --> 01:22:12,504 in people doing the right thing. 1352 01:22:12,506 --> 01:22:15,210 I'm living every day expecting to find Martha's body in her bed, 1353 01:22:15,212 --> 01:22:20,116 but that doesn't stop me from enjoying every minute with her, 1354 01:22:20,118 --> 01:22:21,677 just the opposite. 1355 01:22:21,679 --> 01:22:24,845 I'm learning from her and you should, too, 1356 01:22:24,847 --> 01:22:29,159 because there are lots of ways to live inside a tragedy. 1357 01:22:30,391 --> 01:22:33,095 Of course it's painful, 1358 01:22:33,097 --> 01:22:35,759 but I can take it. 1359 01:22:36,166 --> 01:22:38,298 And I'm trying to live 1360 01:22:38,300 --> 01:22:40,762 with the same joy that she has, 1361 01:22:40,764 --> 01:22:43,666 and with the same appreciation, so... 1362 01:22:43,668 --> 01:22:46,702 the last thing I need is a speech like yours. 1363 01:22:46,704 --> 01:22:49,146 I've always admired you for that. 1364 01:22:50,070 --> 01:22:50,937 What? 1365 01:22:50,939 --> 01:22:53,379 You're one of the only people who knows how to suffer 1366 01:22:53,381 --> 01:22:57,154 without making others feel guilty about it. 1367 01:23:38,458 --> 01:23:40,953 Do you think it will be much longer? 1368 01:23:40,955 --> 01:23:45,090 No, it'll be soon. Any day now. 1369 01:23:45,728 --> 01:23:47,695 You have to be prepared. 1370 01:23:47,697 --> 01:23:48,795 I know the police. 1371 01:23:48,797 --> 01:23:50,236 They'll ask you all sorts of questions, 1372 01:23:50,238 --> 01:23:53,701 they'll dig into your relationship like scavengers. 1373 01:23:53,703 --> 01:23:55,373 You need a kind of mental script. 1374 01:23:55,375 --> 01:23:58,178 No, I thought about it, I do have it. 1375 01:23:58,180 --> 01:24:01,610 Good. Stay strong and stick to your story. 1376 01:24:01,612 --> 01:24:02,677 And when it happens, 1377 01:24:02,679 --> 01:24:05,482 you should call the police before you call me. 1378 01:24:05,484 --> 01:24:06,813 No, I need to call her daughter. 1379 01:24:06,815 --> 01:24:08,287 I should call her before I call you. 1380 01:24:08,289 --> 01:24:10,751 Okay, but be careful what you say to her. 1381 01:24:10,753 --> 01:24:13,017 I had to tell the lawyer about the situation. 1382 01:24:13,019 --> 01:24:16,955 Why do we have to go through all this, like we're criminals? 1383 01:24:16,957 --> 01:24:18,627 Shouldn't dying people have the right 1384 01:24:18,629 --> 01:24:20,024 to end their lives with dignity? 1385 01:24:20,026 --> 01:24:22,862 They will, once our teetering health system 1386 01:24:22,864 --> 01:24:25,030 completely collapses. 1387 01:25:01,803 --> 01:25:03,244 Martha? 1388 01:25:23,054 --> 01:25:24,856 Dear Ingrid, 1389 01:25:24,858 --> 01:25:27,188 today is such a beautiful day 1390 01:25:27,190 --> 01:25:30,664 that it seemed to me it was the moment to leave. 1391 01:25:30,666 --> 01:25:35,031 It consoled me that you weren't in the room downstairs, 1392 01:25:35,033 --> 01:25:37,341 even though that was the idea. 1393 01:25:37,343 --> 01:25:40,938 But you know I always improvise 1394 01:25:40,940 --> 01:25:42,544 and I'm almost happy that, 1395 01:25:42,546 --> 01:25:46,041 while I fade away on the lounger, 1396 01:25:46,043 --> 01:25:47,515 you're out in the world, 1397 01:25:47,517 --> 01:25:51,387 experiencing something different to my death. 1398 01:25:51,389 --> 01:25:55,987 No one will be able to accuse you of complicity. 1399 01:25:56,559 --> 01:25:57,723 You have accompanied me 1400 01:25:57,725 --> 01:26:02,563 as much as any human being can accompany another. 1401 01:26:02,565 --> 01:26:06,734 Call my daughter and tell her I'm sorry. 1402 01:26:07,306 --> 01:26:10,441 And thank you, love. 1403 01:26:35,696 --> 01:26:37,126 Martha. 1404 01:26:40,030 --> 01:26:42,373 I'll do whatever you want. 1405 01:27:08,431 --> 01:27:12,026 We had dinner and then we watched a Buster Keaton movie. 1406 01:27:12,028 --> 01:27:13,060 I told you this already. 1407 01:27:13,062 --> 01:27:15,370 And you didn't notice anything strange, 1408 01:27:15,372 --> 01:27:18,507 anything that made you suspect... 1409 01:27:20,542 --> 01:27:21,442 Try to remember. 1410 01:27:21,444 --> 01:27:24,104 I remember it perfectly, it was a fun night. 1411 01:27:24,106 --> 01:27:26,876 There were no gestures? Nothing she said? 1412 01:27:26,878 --> 01:27:29,846 We said goodnight and then I went upstairs 1413 01:27:29,848 --> 01:27:32,178 and I stayed up late reading a book 1414 01:27:32,180 --> 01:27:34,917 that Martha had recommended called Erotic Vagrancy. 1415 01:27:34,919 --> 01:27:38,283 It's about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. 1416 01:27:38,285 --> 01:27:39,427 - Do you know it? - No. 1417 01:27:39,429 --> 01:27:42,023 Martha and I both thought that it was really fun. 1418 01:27:42,025 --> 01:27:45,468 Try to answer only the questions I ask you. 1419 01:27:48,470 --> 01:27:50,901 What'd you do the following morning? 1420 01:27:52,573 --> 01:27:54,364 I had lunch with a friend. 1421 01:27:54,366 --> 01:27:56,938 And when I came back, I called out for her 1422 01:27:56,940 --> 01:27:58,841 and when she didn't answer, 1423 01:27:58,843 --> 01:28:00,711 I went to her bedroom. 1424 01:28:00,713 --> 01:28:02,108 But she wasn't there. 1425 01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:06,046 So I went into the backyard and that's when I saw her. 1426 01:28:06,048 --> 01:28:09,214 And, at first, I thought that she was asleep on the lounge chair 1427 01:28:09,216 --> 01:28:12,624 and I got really nervous and I called the ambulance. 1428 01:28:12,626 --> 01:28:14,219 And they got there very quickly 1429 01:28:14,221 --> 01:28:15,462 and then the EMTs saw her 1430 01:28:15,464 --> 01:28:18,696 and then they said there was nothing that they could do. 1431 01:28:18,698 --> 01:28:20,192 Nobody buys this pill by accident 1432 01:28:20,194 --> 01:28:22,832 if they're not thinking of suicide or killing someone, 1433 01:28:22,834 --> 01:28:25,164 so, you didn't know anything about this? 1434 01:28:25,166 --> 01:28:26,132 About what? 1435 01:28:26,134 --> 01:28:28,101 About her being in possession of this illegal compound. 1436 01:28:28,103 --> 01:28:31,807 No. She was taking medication for the pain, 1437 01:28:31,809 --> 01:28:33,842 you know, patches and pills, but she... 1438 01:28:33,844 --> 01:28:36,979 she never shared the specifics with me. 1439 01:28:37,408 --> 01:28:38,946 It is strange that, 1440 01:28:38,948 --> 01:28:40,343 if you two were such good friends, 1441 01:28:40,345 --> 01:28:43,214 that she didn't say anything to you. 1442 01:28:43,216 --> 01:28:49,156 You can't just walk into a drugstore and buy this pill. 1443 01:28:49,464 --> 01:28:51,763 It's very difficult to come by. 1444 01:28:52,225 --> 01:28:55,160 I think when she rented the house, 1445 01:28:55,162 --> 01:28:58,537 she already knew what she was gonna do, right? 1446 01:28:58,539 --> 01:29:00,099 It's possible, 1447 01:29:00,101 --> 01:29:02,475 but she didn't tell me anything. 1448 01:29:02,477 --> 01:29:04,268 She was exhausted from the last treatment 1449 01:29:04,270 --> 01:29:06,435 and she wanted to take a break before going back 1450 01:29:06,437 --> 01:29:08,206 for the next round of chemo. 1451 01:29:08,208 --> 01:29:10,581 She wasn't the type to throw in the towel. 1452 01:29:10,583 --> 01:29:12,209 She didn't complain? 1453 01:29:12,211 --> 01:29:15,786 She didn't say anything that made you sense... 1454 01:29:16,919 --> 01:29:17,984 the end? 1455 01:29:17,986 --> 01:29:20,318 It was a great responsibility for you. 1456 01:29:20,989 --> 01:29:23,321 She complained sometimes. 1457 01:29:24,597 --> 01:29:29,457 What did she complain about? What did she say? 1458 01:29:29,459 --> 01:29:32,669 She'd lost the capacity for attention. 1459 01:29:32,671 --> 01:29:37,808 She couldn't read or write, for example. 1460 01:29:38,677 --> 01:29:40,303 Her life was reduced to surviving. 1461 01:29:40,305 --> 01:29:43,405 You know, I find it very hard to believe 1462 01:29:43,407 --> 01:29:46,111 that she didn't say anything that made you suspect the end. 1463 01:29:46,113 --> 01:29:48,751 It was more than evident that she was very sick, 1464 01:29:48,753 --> 01:29:50,280 but she wanted to take a vacation 1465 01:29:50,282 --> 01:29:51,786 before going back to the hospital. 1466 01:29:51,788 --> 01:29:53,722 I told you this already. 1467 01:29:53,924 --> 01:29:59,338 So, we also spoke to some of Martha's close friends. 1468 01:30:00,797 --> 01:30:05,296 In general, they all coincide with your testimony. 1469 01:30:06,495 --> 01:30:08,803 But one of them, Stella Byrne, 1470 01:30:08,805 --> 01:30:11,575 told us that, after Martha finished her chemotherapy, 1471 01:30:11,577 --> 01:30:14,908 that she proposed that she accompany her 1472 01:30:14,910 --> 01:30:17,075 to a house in the country 1473 01:30:17,077 --> 01:30:21,048 where she intended to commit suicide. 1474 01:30:24,282 --> 01:30:27,219 Asked her to, and I quote... 1475 01:30:27,890 --> 01:30:29,892 "Be in the room next door. " 1476 01:30:32,762 --> 01:30:34,421 And her friend refused. 1477 01:30:34,423 --> 01:30:38,095 I wasn't in the room next door, I was in the room downstairs. 1478 01:30:38,097 --> 01:30:39,459 When I spoke to Mrs. Byrne 1479 01:30:39,461 --> 01:30:40,735 and informed her of the suicide, 1480 01:30:40,737 --> 01:30:42,264 she told me she wasn't surprised. 1481 01:30:42,266 --> 01:30:45,806 There's another word for what Martha did, it's called euthanasia. 1482 01:30:45,808 --> 01:30:47,104 Well, call it what you want, 1483 01:30:47,106 --> 01:30:50,844 but, for me, what your friend did is a crime 1484 01:30:50,846 --> 01:30:54,474 and, as a policeman, as a human being, 1485 01:30:54,476 --> 01:30:56,311 as a man of faith, 1486 01:30:56,313 --> 01:31:00,282 I'm radically opposed to anyone committing a crime. 1487 01:31:00,284 --> 01:31:03,628 And, of course, anyone aiding and abetting in one. 1488 01:31:15,199 --> 01:31:18,906 Damian, can you come down to the police station, please? 1489 01:31:19,137 --> 01:31:20,004 This is endless. 1490 01:31:20,006 --> 01:31:23,403 How do you explain that your friend Martha 1491 01:31:23,405 --> 01:31:24,745 was so explicit with Mrs. Byrne 1492 01:31:24,747 --> 01:31:27,572 and yet she didn't tell you anything about her intentions? 1493 01:31:27,574 --> 01:31:28,848 I'm not gonna say another word. 1494 01:31:28,850 --> 01:31:31,213 If I'm under arrest, then tell me the charges. 1495 01:31:31,215 --> 01:31:33,820 Otherwise, I'll wait in the hall for my lawyer. 1496 01:31:33,822 --> 01:31:34,854 Very foresighted of you. 1497 01:31:34,856 --> 01:31:36,449 What made you think you'd need a lawyer? 1498 01:31:36,451 --> 01:31:40,387 Why don't you ask your friend, he witnessed the interrogation. 1499 01:31:40,389 --> 01:31:43,995 I think you're lying. 1500 01:31:43,997 --> 01:31:46,294 And that you're the kind of person who wouldn't say no 1501 01:31:46,296 --> 01:31:50,102 if a friend asked you for help committing suicide. 1502 01:31:52,104 --> 01:31:53,433 Let her go. 1503 01:32:02,410 --> 01:32:03,816 Hey. 1504 01:32:03,818 --> 01:32:05,081 - Hi. - Hi. 1505 01:32:05,083 --> 01:32:07,721 - How are you? - I'm okay. 1506 01:32:07,723 --> 01:32:09,349 This is my lawyer, Sarah. 1507 01:32:09,351 --> 01:32:11,252 - Hi. Pleasure. - Thank you for coming. 1508 01:32:11,254 --> 01:32:12,660 Of course. Damian's filled me in. 1509 01:32:12,662 --> 01:32:14,926 Is there anything I should know about the interrogation? 1510 01:32:14,928 --> 01:32:16,862 Well, he treated me like I was the killer. 1511 01:32:16,864 --> 01:32:18,963 - But you were with me. - He doesn't care. 1512 01:32:18,965 --> 01:32:20,767 He insists that I'm implicated. 1513 01:32:20,769 --> 01:32:21,669 Okay, but... 1514 01:32:21,671 --> 01:32:23,803 He spoke to a friend of Martha, Stella Byrne, 1515 01:32:23,805 --> 01:32:26,168 who said that Martha had approached her first 1516 01:32:26,170 --> 01:32:27,334 and she refused to help her. 1517 01:32:27,336 --> 01:32:29,600 Okay, well, I'm sure everything was recorded. 1518 01:32:29,602 --> 01:32:30,843 Mm-hmm. 1519 01:32:30,845 --> 01:32:34,341 Um, and this police officer witnessed everything. 1520 01:32:34,343 --> 01:32:35,374 You can come in now. 1521 01:32:35,376 --> 01:32:37,917 I'll go in alone. I'm her attorney. 1522 01:32:38,885 --> 01:32:41,547 Don't worry, this is all very clear. 1523 01:32:43,186 --> 01:32:44,218 Thank you for coming. 1524 01:32:44,220 --> 01:32:46,286 My pleasure. 1525 01:32:46,288 --> 01:32:48,123 Jesus! What an asshole! 1526 01:32:48,125 --> 01:32:50,323 I've never been treated like that before. 1527 01:32:50,325 --> 01:32:53,458 You were unlucky enough to come up against a religious fanatic, 1528 01:32:53,460 --> 01:32:55,064 but he's not gonna bother you again. 1529 01:32:55,066 --> 01:32:56,197 I'm gonna file a complaint. 1530 01:32:56,199 --> 01:32:58,034 Thank you so much for everything. 1531 01:32:58,036 --> 01:33:00,432 You still need to be available for the next 48 hours 1532 01:33:00,434 --> 01:33:03,204 until forensic formalities are done. 1533 01:33:03,206 --> 01:33:05,778 Um, I told them to call me if necessary. 1534 01:33:05,780 --> 01:33:06,845 I'll be at the house. 1535 01:33:06,847 --> 01:33:08,275 Do you have all the information you need? 1536 01:33:08,277 --> 01:33:09,749 Yes, Damian gave it to me. 1537 01:33:09,751 --> 01:33:12,246 Just give me a call if anything comes up, okay? 1538 01:33:12,248 --> 01:33:14,017 I'm gonna head back to the office. 1539 01:33:14,019 --> 01:33:15,315 I'm really sorry for your loss. 1540 01:33:15,317 --> 01:33:17,151 - Thank you. - Thanks, Sarah. 1541 01:33:17,153 --> 01:33:18,449 Bye. 1542 01:33:18,451 --> 01:33:20,484 I can't believe Stella told him that. 1543 01:33:20,486 --> 01:33:21,793 Well, he probably cornered her, 1544 01:33:21,795 --> 01:33:24,455 and they have Martha's computer and her cell phone. 1545 01:33:24,457 --> 01:33:25,324 Mm. 1546 01:33:25,326 --> 01:33:26,490 Do you know if they talked? 1547 01:33:26,492 --> 01:33:30,034 No, I don't know, she didn't tell me anything. 1548 01:33:30,496 --> 01:33:31,627 What do you wanna do? 1549 01:33:31,629 --> 01:33:34,597 I need to go back to the house and pack up Martha's things. 1550 01:33:35,941 --> 01:33:37,239 Sorry. 1551 01:33:38,306 --> 01:33:39,811 Hello? 1552 01:33:39,813 --> 01:33:41,606 Uh, speaking. 1553 01:33:42,948 --> 01:33:44,475 It's Michelle. 1554 01:33:44,477 --> 01:33:46,281 Martha's daughter? 1555 01:33:46,578 --> 01:33:47,445 Yes, of course. 1556 01:33:47,447 --> 01:33:49,216 No, no, of course you can come over. 1557 01:33:49,218 --> 01:33:53,827 I'm headed there right now. I'll text you the address. 1558 01:33:54,388 --> 01:33:57,291 Okay, I'll see you soon. Bye. 1559 01:33:58,798 --> 01:34:01,293 Wow. Wow. 1560 01:34:01,295 --> 01:34:02,591 I'm headed back to the city, 1561 01:34:02,593 --> 01:34:06,971 so tell me when you're back and I'll help you with your move. 1562 01:34:07,400 --> 01:34:10,073 Thank you for everything. 1563 01:34:11,668 --> 01:34:15,144 And you can tell me how it went with Michelle. 1564 01:34:15,375 --> 01:34:16,640 I will. 1565 01:34:17,410 --> 01:34:20,886 - Thanks. I'll call you, okay? - Okay. Take care. 1566 01:34:53,918 --> 01:34:55,821 Hello, I'm Michelle. 1567 01:34:56,151 --> 01:34:57,680 I'm Ingrid. 1568 01:34:58,417 --> 01:34:59,649 Hi. 1569 01:35:02,421 --> 01:35:05,831 - Let's go inside, okay? - Yeah. 1570 01:35:08,592 --> 01:35:10,132 Come on in. 1571 01:35:15,269 --> 01:35:17,599 Do you wanna see your mother's room? 1572 01:35:17,601 --> 01:35:18,731 Yes, please. 1573 01:35:18,733 --> 01:35:21,769 It's right down there. Right down the hall. 1574 01:35:49,203 --> 01:35:50,730 I made some coffee. 1575 01:35:50,732 --> 01:35:52,138 Would you like some? 1576 01:35:52,140 --> 01:35:53,700 Uh, I also have tea. 1577 01:35:53,702 --> 01:35:56,472 No, coffee's great. Thank you. 1578 01:35:56,474 --> 01:35:58,014 Here you go. 1579 01:36:01,808 --> 01:36:03,346 Did she tell you about me? 1580 01:36:03,348 --> 01:36:05,711 Of course she did. 1581 01:36:05,713 --> 01:36:10,716 And she told me you were very upset that you never met your father. 1582 01:36:10,718 --> 01:36:12,784 So she told you about my father? 1583 01:36:12,786 --> 01:36:14,126 She did. 1584 01:36:15,030 --> 01:36:16,931 Don't you think she could have helped him 1585 01:36:16,933 --> 01:36:18,691 when he came back from the war? 1586 01:36:18,693 --> 01:36:21,166 She helped him as best she could. 1587 01:36:21,168 --> 01:36:23,905 Your father came back very badly damaged 1588 01:36:23,907 --> 01:36:27,106 and he wanted to move to another city and start a new life. 1589 01:36:27,108 --> 01:36:30,637 His plans never included you or Martha. 1590 01:36:30,639 --> 01:36:35,776 And your mother accepted the end of the relationship and... 1591 01:36:36,216 --> 01:36:37,776 And she saw him in such a bad way 1592 01:36:37,778 --> 01:36:40,052 that she gave him a kiss to give him some peace 1593 01:36:40,054 --> 01:36:43,387 and that kiss turned into something more. 1594 01:36:44,421 --> 01:36:47,325 And you are the fruit of that moment. 1595 01:36:47,787 --> 01:36:50,590 My mother never told me anything about that. 1596 01:36:50,592 --> 01:36:53,230 It's a difficult thing to explain to a child. 1597 01:36:53,232 --> 01:36:55,663 She could have told me later. 1598 01:36:55,894 --> 01:36:57,102 By then you were so estranged 1599 01:36:57,104 --> 01:37:00,008 that she didn't feel it was possible anymore. 1600 01:37:00,800 --> 01:37:03,075 She was a teenager, 1601 01:37:03,077 --> 01:37:04,109 she had a life to live, 1602 01:37:04,111 --> 01:37:06,672 and your father moved to San Diego 1603 01:37:06,674 --> 01:37:09,149 and he made no effort to know you. 1604 01:37:19,720 --> 01:37:21,490 So, Ingrid, 1605 01:37:22,062 --> 01:37:26,660 do you think I was totally mistaken about Martha? 1606 01:37:27,232 --> 01:37:29,100 You were unfair, 1607 01:37:29,102 --> 01:37:33,898 but no one can blame you for wanting to know who your father was. 1608 01:37:36,307 --> 01:37:37,339 It's a sad story, 1609 01:37:37,341 --> 01:37:40,278 it was very painful for both of you. 1610 01:37:43,479 --> 01:37:45,050 Don't be so hard on yourself, 1611 01:37:45,052 --> 01:37:47,681 Martha wasn't the perfect mother. 1612 01:37:48,781 --> 01:37:50,618 No, she wasn't. 1613 01:37:54,589 --> 01:37:55,819 Can I stay here tonight? 1614 01:37:55,821 --> 01:37:59,825 Yes, of course. This is your mother's house! 1615 01:38:02,893 --> 01:38:04,200 Dear Martha, 1616 01:38:04,202 --> 01:38:08,006 I thought you'd like to know I've come back to the house in the woods 1617 01:38:08,008 --> 01:38:10,340 to gather up your things. 1618 01:38:11,737 --> 01:38:14,540 Your daughter came to see me. 1619 01:38:14,542 --> 01:38:16,775 I'm still shaking. 1620 01:38:17,116 --> 01:38:19,248 She looks so like you. 1621 01:38:19,250 --> 01:38:23,285 She asked me if she could stay and sleep in your bed... 1622 01:38:23,287 --> 01:38:25,718 and, of course, I said yes. 1623 01:38:26,521 --> 01:38:30,162 I think your death has brought her closer to you. 1624 01:38:33,198 --> 01:38:36,166 I never thought I'd inherit her, 1625 01:38:36,168 --> 01:38:39,039 even if it's just for a day. 1626 01:38:39,369 --> 01:38:42,471 The house is filled with you. 1627 01:38:44,175 --> 01:38:47,968 When I came in, after talking to the police, 1628 01:38:47,970 --> 01:38:51,677 the first thing I saw was the door of your room, 1629 01:38:52,480 --> 01:38:54,678 and it was open. 1630 01:38:54,680 --> 01:38:58,517 And I said to myself, "She's alive. " 1631 01:39:31,881 --> 01:39:35,049 I came out here to listen to the birds. 1632 01:39:36,721 --> 01:39:39,526 Your mother would get up like this, 1633 01:39:40,263 --> 01:39:41,924 at dawn, 1634 01:39:42,496 --> 01:39:44,597 and lie right there. 1635 01:39:49,107 --> 01:39:52,473 Look, it's snowing. 1636 01:40:00,877 --> 01:40:02,846 The snow is falling. 1637 01:40:04,682 --> 01:40:06,418 It's falling on the lonely pool 1638 01:40:06,420 --> 01:40:08,290 we never used. 1639 01:40:09,885 --> 01:40:11,920 It's falling on the woods, 1640 01:40:12,195 --> 01:40:14,492 where we walked and you lay, 1641 01:40:14,494 --> 01:40:17,629 exhausted, on the ground. 1642 01:40:19,400 --> 01:40:22,568 Falling on your daughter and on me. 1643 01:40:24,900 --> 01:40:28,068 Falling upon the living and the dead. 1644 01:40:31,068 --> 01:40:35,068 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 117113

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