All language subtitles for The Hoodlum Saint (1946).eng

- Hey!
- Terry!

Boy, this is a surprise!

Never thought I'd see you again!

Hiya, O'Neill!
How are you, boy!

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute!

- Where's May?
- May, come on out of that morgue!

Come on out of there!

- Terry!
- Put it on me.

That's it, put it on.

Tie it on tight!

- One, two, three!
- There!

- Wow!
- Bingo!

- Bull's eye!
- Same old Terry.

Same old accuracy, boy.

That calls for a kiss from the
prettiest lady in the crowd.

- Come on, May!
- Go ahead, May, we'll back you up.

- You think I should?
- Come on, darling.

Hate to leave you, honey.

But I gotta hit old knucklehead
for a living.

- Hiya, knucklehead.
- Terry.

- How are you?
- What do you think?

The place begins to smell like
a newspaper again.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, get in there.

Sit down.

Well, how was it over there?
Pretty rough?

A lot of boys died.

But a lot came back.

I've been doing a little
thinking about them.

Do you remember a few years ago
I used to pick extra jack...

...doing human interest stuff
on the mugs?

Best stuff this sheet ever printed.

Well, I got the same idea for a Sunday
series on the returning soldier.

Real names, hospitals,
handicapped guys, reunions...

Yeah?

You know all they want is the old job
with the old salary.

I swore I wasn't gonna
be glad to see you,

and what do I do?
I practically kiss you.

- You don't like the idea.
- I love the idea.

And your ugly face.

But I hate this job right now.

I'll just have to fire Perkins
when he comes in.

What are you trying to tell me?

Well, you know the sheet's
got a new owner.

- So?
- So the night desk is filled.

The new owner says cut to the bone.

Even if someone comes back a general.

For a tough guy you're not
very tough.

I'm glad you left your fight in France.

You know, it's a funny thing.

I've been thinking of retiring.
You'd be perfect for my spot.

Sure.

Six kids and you're thinking
of retiring.

Look, will you quit worrying about me?
I'll hook on to one of the other sheets.

Yeah, but things are tight.

Why don't you get in touch
with me from time to time?

Say, if I ever walk in here again,
I'll own this rag.

And the first thing I'll do will be
to fire you as managing editor.

And hire you as editor-in-chief.

- See you around, knucklehead.
- Good luck.

- Don't forget to call me.
- Okay.

You know, if you boys sit there long enough
people may think you're part of the building.

A lovely pair of gargoyles.

- Hiya, Fishface.
- Terry!

- How are you?
- Pretty pretty good.

- Hi there!
- We've been chasing you all over town.

Ever since the papers said
you was back.

- Yeah? Well, how have you been?
- Going's been tough.

I almost got drafted.

With you away we didn't have
anybody to put the fight on.

I mean, you know, float a little
loan now and then.

Oh.

How about the First National Bank?

Have you lost your tools?

We saved up a lot of stories
for you, Terry.

Everything that's happened to the mugs
since you've been gone.

You'll be rolling in dough.

You know it's funny, but as I remember,

every buck I ever made from you guys
used to cost me about ten.

We don't want a dime,
we're in clover.

We finally got a sweet little
business going.

How about a little tête-à-tête
with the inspector?

- Terry...
- Now, you can't do this.

- I always did.
- Terry, I mean... could you...

Would you?

- What's the charge?
- Making books on the ponies.

- Oh, sweet little business, huh?
- Please, Terry.

Where's the Snarp?

The inspector already had a talk
with him. He's resting.

- Come on.
- Now wait...

Terry! Terry! Don't just stand
there, Terry.

Terry!

- What's the beef?
- One hundred dollars apiece.

Three hundred dollars?

You must have x-ray eyes.

All right, let them out.

- Out you go.
- Didn't I tell you he wouldn't let us down?

Terry!

Oh, Terry, let me look at you.
Are we glad you're home.

Yeah, I wish I felt as happy
about it as you do.

Oh, we're very, very happy.

Come on, Terry, we'll all be happy
around Snarp.

- Yeah.
- See you later, Sergeant.

- Uh-huh, our Terry.
- Our friend. Never failed us.

You know, your temporary memberships in the
Jockey Club cost me my last head of lettuce.

Aw gee, I'm sorry, Terry.

Well, there's nothing to do but go dig out
my trunk and head for the pawn shop.

Well... look... Terry, it's nice having
you back. I'll see you around sometime.

Yeah, you look swell in that
uniform, Terry. So long.

- Well, Terry...
- Hey!

- Why the hasty exit?
- Well look, Terry, it's like this, you see.

Two or three times when we'd run short
on the rent and we'd, uh...

You mean my trunk?

My civvies?

All of them?

For two years I've been dreaming
of getting out of this suit.

Now I've got to find a job to get
a pair of pants.

Not to mention something to eat.

- What about the paper?
- They're using last year's reporters.

After all the words you put together
for them guys?

They paid for them.

I hear they're giving out jobs
at the parrish house.

Yeah? What are they paying
choir boys these days?

Dave?

Major!

Hiya, fella.
Snarp, I want you to know Dave Fernby.

- Hi, Dave.
- Hiya.

You see that DSC? That represents
the lives of three guys.

Yeah.

And that ribbon and a nickel won't get
me a ride on any streetcar in Baltimore.

- How's the old ticker?
- I hardly even know I've got one.

I'm glad that whiff of gas didn't
leave anything permanent.

No. How's it going with you?

A sixty-dollar bonus didn't carry
a wife and two kids very far.

Yeah, I know.

I don't care about myself.

It's going home night after night with
nothing for them but a pat on the head.

Could you spare a ten-spot?

Look, Dave,

you're always number one on
my list, you know that.

- But...
- Yeah, but.

I should have known better.
You're just like all the rest of them.

The war's over, so forget Dave,
forget everything.

- Oh now, wait a minute.
- Get out of my way.

Just get out...

Why didn't you tell him
you was broke?

That's not the problem.

# Three blind mice, three blind mice #

# See how they run #
# See how they run #

# They all ran after the farmer's wife #

I know what's lined up here.

There's real chicken in them sandwiches.
Want me to get you some?

Hey, Jack, where's Father O'Doul?

- Father O'Doul's over at the table.
- Oh yeah. Hey, Father!

- Hello, Snarp.
- Look who's here.

Terry!

How are you, Father?

Terry, it's a pleasure to see
you again.

Get us a couple of javas
and a sandwich, will you, Jack?

We'll wait for you.

Well, Terry, I suppose you're all set
to go back in the paper again, hm?

- No.
- Oh, something better?

No, I'm afraid not. I, uh...

Well, I heard that you were sort of
taking care of the boys and...

I need a job.

Well... there doesn't seem
to be any jobs.

Except odds and ends.

The best I have to offer is sandwiches,
soup and a cot.

- Free?
- Sure, we...

...try to see you through
until things open up.

Thanks.

Funny.

Watching guys die over there
sort of changes your ideas.

But you keep telling yourself
that soon things will be better...

...when you get back home.

Then you get back and the best
offer you get is charity.

Well, if that's the way they
play the game, okay.

I can play it that way too.

- What way?
- Go after the one thing that counts.

Dough, big dough.

Well, I could give you a big
argument about that.

Maybe it's one of the things,
but it's not the thing.

I'm finding out there isn't
anything to top it.

Depression is temporary. But principles
and faith, they go on forever.

Maybe so.

But you know those who
help themselves.

I'd like to talk this out
with you some time.

Sure. I'll see you in church.

I hope you will.

# Merrily, merrily, merrily #
# Life is but a dream #

# Row, row, row your boat #
# Gently down the stream #

Better get a gander at them
want ads.

Yeah.

Need another copper.

Female help wanted.

If our luck keeps on, you'll have
to take up ironing.

Okay by me if you do the washing.

Nancy De Brun, Baltimore heiress, to wed
wealthy Cleveland sportsman.

You know somebody at that
hitching bee?

Not yet, but it looks as if every big shot
in town will be there.

Thomas Byrd, Joseph Lorrison,
Lewis J. Malbery...

Lewis J. Malbery.

That's East Coast Commodities.

Fastest growing chain of the east.

I'd better catch that show.

You can't just walk into
a wedding like that.

Why not?

If Terry wants to crash a wedding,
he'll go first class.

Mister... You!

- Major O'Neill.
- But your invitation, sir.

- Sorry, I'm late.
- Sorry, but I must see your invitation, sir.

Oh, darling, I wish you every happiness.

Thank you very much.

My kisses are my property, I'm particular
who I give them to.

I wish you were as particular
about your haymakers.

Oh, wait a minute, I apologize.

I thought you were the bride.

Oh, the bride.

She has dark hair, mine's light.

she's in white, I'm in blue, we're so
alike our mothers get confused.

Well, let's, uh... let's drop
the whole thing.

I have no intention of dropping it.

There's the bride!

White roses caught by a tramp
for the bleachers.

I think these will look slightly
more becoming on you.

I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
Please forgive me.

Wait a minute. At least I deserve
some inside information.

Why did you kiss me?

To convince that gateman
I belong here.

- Well don't you?
- No.

So you just rushed up to the first
girl you saw,

shouted congratulations and
went in to your greeting, hm?

Oh, I hate to be thrown out of places.

Well why did you want
to come here?

I need a job.

Employers in this town are seldom in.

Must be the uniform.

I see.

I thought I might bump into somebody
here and sell him a bill of goods.

And all you bumped into was me.

It was quite a collision.

Well.

Will you join me for the
wedding luncheon?

I'd be very glad to.

- Oh, by the way, what's your name?
- Terry O'Neill.

I'm Kay Lorrison.

Nice to meet you, Miss Lorrison,
formally.

Major O'Neill it's nice to me you,
formally.

Thank you.

Oh, here I am.

Oh, and there's your card.
They were expecting you.

- Um, your name is Travers.
- Yes, that's me, J. Cornwall Travers.

Do you mind if I just call you Cornwall?

- Lady, you can call me anything.
- Thank you.

- Oh, there's Uncle Joe.
- Hm?

You knew the bride so well
you must know my uncle Joe Lorrison.

- The publisher of the Blade?
- Hm-hmm.

No, I never met him.

You really should know him.
You drove up here in his car.

What?

Oh, wait until I get my hands
on that Snarp.

- Snarp, what Snarp?
- My chauffeur.

He told me he'd borrowed
that car from a friend.

I've never been so mad in my life.

Somebody stole my car.

My chauffeur was in the
nearest saloon.

Now, Uncle Joe, nobody'd dare
steal your car.

Why, you'd have press and police
on his head.

That's just what I intend to do.

Starting tomorrow with a front
page editorial...

...on the laxity of our police
department.

Oh, you know how absent-minded you are.

You probably looked down
the wrong street.

And I suppose my chauffeur was
in church instead of a saloon.

Oh, stop grousing.
Come on, sit down.

Oh, I want you to meet
an old friend.

- Major O'Neill, Mr. Lorrison.
- How do you do?

- How do you do, sir?
- Funny, I've never met you before.

Yes, isn't it? And I used to work
on a paper here too.

Oh? Which one?

The Times. I was night editor
before the war.

And before that I wrote for Natural News

I also did a series on the
lower end of town.

Pardon me.

Oh, yes!
How was France?

Well, sometimes gentle,
sometimes rough.

- Hello, Kay.
- Oh, hello, Mr. Malbery.

Don't tell me I'm lucky enough
to sit across from you.

Uh, uh, I should have known
there'd be a catch in it.

How are you, Mr. Lorrison?

Hello, L.J.

Kay, you grow prettier every day.

Or perhaps your beauty is
accentuated by contrast.

Or perhaps it's a little both.

Oh, Mr. Malbery, Major O'Neill.

- How do you do, sir?
- How are you?

- I've heard a great deal about you.
- And all bad I'll bet.

Kay, I wish your uncle would see
a liver specialist.

It might change his opinion of me.

Mr. Malbery, it sounds as if you need
a public relations counsel.

Not at all.

Oh, pardon me.

I built East Commodities myself.

I run it fairly and I don't intend
to apologize for it.

Despite Mr. Lorrison.

Um, Mr. Malbery.

Your concentrated purchasing power...

...must give you quite an edge
on your competitors, doesn't it?

It does, until he's put his competitors
out of business.

Then people can buy his jacked-up
merchandise...

...or walk a few miles to the
nearest independent.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. Remember,
two people have just been married.

Everything is sweetness and love.

I hate to leave such charming company,

but I suddenly remember
I have an appointment.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- I'll see you again, Mr. Malbery.
- Perhaps so.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye, Mr. Lorrison.

I ought to take a sock at him.

Don't you think you ought to say
goodbye to your hostess first?

Well, you handle the social business.
I'll find a taxi.

No need for that.
Major O'Neill has a car.

Oh... yes, sure,
I'll be glad to give you a lift.

Why, thank you. I'll find my hat.

- Mr. Travers?
- Yes.

- J. Cornwall?
- Yes.

J. Cornwall Travers.

- These are wonderful cars.
- Yes.

This one feels just like mine.

Could be.

Mr. Malbery would make a great target
for a fighting newspaper, wouldn't he?

We've been sniping at him ever since he
moved into the suburbs of Baltimore.

Why don't you throw your
Sunday punch?

What's that?

Cross-section the little guy.

Tell what he pays and what
he gets for it.

Do sketches in his home.

Slice that against Mr. Malbery's profits.

Be quite a tea party.

You want a job?

Is there any tea in China?

You have one.
Come see me in the morning.

I'll be there at sunrise.

You'll be very unpopular with the rest
of the hired help.

- I can't make it until eleven myself.
- Don't tell me you're a working girl.

I toil not, but I spin a few lines
for the Woman's page now and then.

Well, my new job abounds
with added attractions.

- Anyhow, good luck with it.
- You've given me that.

At least so far.

There was no luck in it. That was
deliberate planning, Cornwall.

Cornwall? I thought his name
was O'Neill.

Um, Terry Cornwall O'Neill.

- Hello?
- Miss Kay Lorrison?

Yes?

# Happy birthday to you #
# Happy birthday to you #

# Happy birthday, dear Kay Lorrison #

# Happy birthday to you #

Terry!

"How to Write for a Newspaper"
by Terrence O'Neill.

- Good morning, Ellie.
- Good morning.

- Harry, Joe.
- Good morning, Terry.

What a lovely morning.

Did I say "what a lovely morning"?

Mighty valuable material to be
throwing around.

First edition.
Oh, happy birthday, Miss Lorrison.

Kay!

I don't want a private arm,
but I wish you'd work tonight.

What now, boss man?

Palais Ballroom. They're starting
a dance marathon.

The darn thing's beginning to be
a craze all over the country.

Thought you might enter and write
a first-handed piece.

You know, what those tired
young ladies think about...

...while they're dancing
in their sleep.

- All right.
- I've got a partner for you.

Eddie Phillips, down in circulation.

They tell me he's good on his feet
and knows all about these things.

Their publicity man knows
you're coming.

Uncle Joe.

Never mind about Eddie Phillips.

I think I've got a partner.

Isn't this a rather odd choice for
an evening of intimate choreography?

It's the best orchestra in town.

Well, I wouldn't exactly bet
500 on this but...

with you, lady, I'll try anything.

I may hold you to that.

Oh, speaking of you... here.

- It's beautiful!
- Happy birthday.

- A white rose.
- Put it on.

Hoping it will always remind you...

...of a certain impulsive, though
unknown major.

Oh, I don't need it for that.

- Oh, dear.
- Hm?

- Oh dear, I wish I hadn't done it.
- Done what?

Well, folks, this is it.

The biggest dance marathon of the year
in Baltimore's finest "Palais du Dance".

Now the grueling, but graceful grind,

will commence almost any minute now,
ladies and gentlemen.

Now, just as soon as the attendants...

...pin the numbers on the couples
remaining on the floor,

the opening gun will be fired...

and the road will open up
that leads to that $500...

...and that beautiful Silver Cup.

Now, anyone not entering the contest
will kindly leave the floor...

...and join the spectators.
Thank you.

Let's go.

- We're in it.
- What?

Yes, I entered us.

You entered us?

Well, well, here you are, buster.
Number 6.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Why, you conniving, underhanded Borgia,
you poisoner of romance!

Look, if you think that I'm going
to make a fool...

No, Terry, wait, it's an assignment.
I have to write a piece on it.

I write special features, I'm no legman.

- Come on.
- You promised you'd try anything with me.

Well, I, um...

I... I... I never told you about my feet.

Th-they're not mates.
I've got broken arches, dozens of them.

Oh, come on, Jerry, be a sport.

I've got to do it. Please.

Lucky number six, ought to bring you
right down under the wire.

- Do I race with blinkers?
- Ha, that's a good one, brother!

Why don't you nail it on
with a hammer?

Get set!

Well folks, let's take a good look
at some of the contestants.

Hey, just cast your eyes
on that number 19.

Now there's a couple for us.

Uh-oh, better take it easy there, bud.

You won't last long at that rate.

Ladies and gentlemen, take
a look at number 6.

- Number 6.
- That's us, Cornwall.

Now there's a classy couple for you.

Just look at that gorgeous
piece of femininity.

Oh, boy!

Hey, not a bad-looking escort
she's got either.

Tall, dark and handsome, yes, sir.

Oh, those snaky-looking gigolo types can
really surprise you when they get going.

Look at that man go.

Oh now, slow down, take
it easy, everybody.

You've got lots of time to go here.

Maybe hours, maybe days.

Maybe weeks.

Kay, don't you think you've got
enough material by now?

What?

Say, don't you think you've got
enough material by now?

Oh, no, Cornwall,

I've got to get more insight into
this dreamy comatose state.

- Just fine.
- I'm comfortable.

That makes everything peachy.

Besides, we might win the cup.

Do we get permanent possession
or do we have to win it three times?

Keep moving, buster, go on, go on.

Don't touch her, buster,
that's a foul.

Move, keep moving.
Doctor, doctor!

Oh, man, get up, get up!

No, I can't allow her do dance anymore.

Oh, but Doc, we were gonna
win the contest.

- I'm sorry, no.
- Don't talk, buddy, look!

You got one minute to find
yourself another partner.

If you don't find yourself another
partner in one minute,

you'll be disqualified.

How am I gonna find one?

Buddy!

You've got one.

The best dancer on the floor.

Harry, you fiend!

Mighty sporting of you, mister.

Oh... I... I have to be some place
at one o'clock.

Yeah, you see... I'm a doctor.
I'm a veterinarian in fact.

And I have to deliver a litter
of chipmunks.

I hope they bite you!

Thanks, doc.

- $5 for a sprint.
- The gentleman offers $5 for a sprint.

Cornwall!

What do you think's happened now?

Malbery's going to sue us.

Well that's it.

We'll call that bluff.
Keep our attacks red hot.

Terry, your stories are great.

Accurate, funny, lots of heart.

People read them but don't get
a hang about Malbery.

You're apt to find yourself up
to a hundred a week.

A hundred a week?

I can remember when that was dough.

Mr. Lorrison, you've been swell.

- I'm grateful for everything.
- Oh, now, wait a minute.

You haven't quite got me.
That raise depends on...

I'm afraid that you haven't
quite got me.

I'm moving.

- Moving?
- Hm-hmm.

- Where to?
- New York.

But the Blade's a better sheet than
any of those New York rags.

Yes, but there's a guy up there
named Lewis J. Malbery.

But we've been tearing him apart.

Perhaps it's time to put him
back together.

Well you can't do this!

You used my newspaper to expose a man
and now you want to put in with him.

What kind of operator are you?

Big. I hope.

- Porter, car 3245.
- Thank you, sir.

Well I kind of hoped Uncle Joe
would be here.

- He asked me to say goodbye for him.
- I should have stopped at the office.

It's strange guy in such a mad rush...

...should be bothered about losing
a friendship on the way.

Uncle Joe's sort of special.

Jerry, sometimes I think you don't
know what you want.

- Yeah?
- Sometimes I think you want everything.

Wanting everything often results
in getting nothing.

But at least you've had a whirl at it.

- All aboard!
- Write, Terry.

You'e slipping, Snarp.

Why, Terry, believe me,
I never knew it was you.

You can't even pick the pocket
of a friend.

And what are you doing
in this train?

Oh, when you said you was
leaving town,

I just couldn't stand the thought
of staying here alone.

You know how it would be, worrying about
you, wondering what you was doing.

Okay.

I'll take you to New York and show you
how to be a bigger pocket.

- Going after the big dough, huh?
- Right.

I'll just keep this, you know, in case
the conductor asks me for a ticket.

The ticket's ten bucks.

- Who else?
- Well, there's Eel.

- Where is he?
- Inside.

- You ain't gonna throw him off the train.
- Come on, quit stalling.

Well, we couldn't stay in Baltimore
without you.

When we was in a jam, we wouldn't have
nobody to put the bite on.

- How sad.
- You might need us in New York.

# But I'm longing for you #

# Nothing's been right since we parted #

# Sweetheart, forgive me, please do #

# Let's be the same as when we... #

You know something, the first
six days I liked that song...

...but now it's beginning
to let me down.

I've been looking at that billing so long,
I feel like I owe him rent.

Look, I'm going to see Malbery
if we sit here from now on.

Maybe you should oughta
grow a beard.

I can't even back into his office
without getting the brush-off.

But some day Mr. Malbery's going
to walk out of that door.

And when he does, I'll be right
on his coattail.

# ...to me #

I wish that guy wouldn't clutter up
the front table all the time.

Leave him alone, Mike,
I like the guy.

- How was the song?
- Hm?

Oh, yes. Yes, that was better, Dusty.

How about just a little more heart?

If you'd give this heart just
a little more attention,

maybe I'd be able to sing
the way you like.

Maybe I like it too much.

I'd be satisfied with half the time
you give that window.

What's Malbery got I haven't?

Twenty-five million dollars.

Will that keep your feet warm?

Terry! There he is!

- Mr. Malbery?
- Yes.

- I doubt if you remember me, I'm Terry...
- O'Neill. I remember you too well.

And I can imagine nothing nicer than
never hearing from you again.

Mr. Malbery, you're losing
the ball game.

The district attorney is after you.

And your answer is right there
in those people on that sidewalk.

- What do you mean?
- Look.

I've a slogan that's a natural.

"East Coast is Banked by the Public."

There's capital for expansion,
the end of personal attacks.

Get in.

- Good morning, Maggie.
- Good morning, Mr. Terry.

- How are the horses?
- Oh, never in the money, just like me.

Oh.

- Good morning, Trina.
- No pay today.

- No?
- No.

Well, why three?

Why, don't you know what
day this is?

- Tuesday.
- Uh-uh.

This is our anniversary.

Why, three years ago today I put
the first bachelor button in your lapel.

Three years, well, well,
how time flies.

Well you haven't aged a day.

Oh, the bachelor button. You should
be wearing the red rose of passion.

- Morning, Sam.
- Good morning, Mr. Terry.

- Good morning, Mary.
- Good morning, Mr. O'Neill.

- Hi, Terry.
- How are you, Terry?

- Good morning, Cy.
- Good morning.

How are you, Terry?

You boys are on the job
early this morning.

Terry, that pool room you bought
us ain't doing so good.

What do I have to do, go down
and rack up the balls for you?

No, but the customers are all
paying on the cuff.

Make them pay cash.

Them chums is getting so they can
play pool as good as we can.

Looks like we ain't going to make the next
payment to the billiard table company.

That means we're gonna lose
the place.

- How many more installments are there?
- Only five.

- There's five hundred dollars.
- Gee, now we own the pool room.

That's the idea. But this is the last jam
I'm getting you boys out of.

I guess we better stop
getting into jams.

This is terrible.

Have you stopped making book
in that back room?

We promised you, didn't we?

We haven't booked a bet in days...
weeks... uh, months!

All right... but look!

After this there's no reason for
you fellows to be parking in this office.

You mean we can't come up
here no more?

Well, up here you kind of clog
the wheels of business.

- Oh, this is terrible.
- You mean we ain't gonna see you?

You ain't been at the pool room
in two months.

Hey, wait, Terry, we don't wanna...

Ah, don't be a dope.

I'll drop by every now and then.

- That's a promise.
- Well, that's okay then.

- Then we'll be seeing you.
- Yeah.

- So long, Terry.
- Remember.

- Bye, Terry.
- So long.

Mr. O'Neill.

Good morning, Terry, I have several
things to talk over with you.

Uh, let's go in here.

Nice lettering, don't you think?

Very.

You've earned it. And you'll earn
the salary that goes with it.

L.J., I'm glad I met you.

And the stock option goes with the job.

Boy... thanks.

Now you're set for life.

We wanted you to have foray to handle
that Tristate Commodities merger alone.

It's a complicated affair and
you know it clear through.

And, um...

Cy, get me a compartment
for Baltimore tonight.

Baltimore? Tristate Commodities'
offices are in Buffalo.

I'm not in love with anyone
in Buffalo.

And Cy, ask that jeweller downstairs
to come up with a...

...a tray of diamond bracelets.

Um, Mr. O'Neill to see Miss Lorrison.

- Miss Lorrison's still...
- Never mind.

There she is.

Your invitation, sir!

Your invitation, sir!

You haven't changed.

Ah, but you have.

Always prettier.

No, you haven't changed one bit.

- Surprised?
- Why, I just can't believe it.

In my wildest dreams I never
imagined it like this.

You know, all those letters
I never wrote?

Were there really so many?

One every day, lady.

But you know what happens when
you've got your nose to the grindstone.

Three years.

- A lot of days.
- Too many.

Way too many.

Look. Let's go outside where I'll have
more room to apologize.

How is that?
Doesn't sound like you.

I've been learning things in New York.

But you haven't learned
not to crash weddings.

Oh, is that what's going on?

Am I still kissing bridesmaids?

This time you kissed the bride.

- No!
- Yes.

What's... Do I know the lucky man?

His name is Bert Kenston.

- He must be quite a guy.
- He is.

Lady... I wish you all the
happiness there is.

I counted on that.

# I could climb the snow-capped mountains #

# Sail the mighty oceanwide #

# I could cross the burning desert #

# If I had you by my side #

# I could be a queen, dear, uncrowned #
# Humble or poor, rich or renowned #

# There is nothing I couldn't do #
# If I had you #

Say, you haven't been on a gig
in a long time.

What's the celebration?

Blue Monday.

- I thought this might help.
- I'm sorry. Business?

Business.

- Pretty swank.
- Thank you.

Hard to realize you're the same Dusty
I met a million years ago.

You let too much time pass
between visits.

You've come a long way in
that million years.

Thanks to a guy named O'Neill.

You know, in one way I don't think
I've moved an inch.

- What way is that?
- Toward you.

It's sort of hard trying to fight
somebody you've never seen.

Who is she, Terry?

- She's a gal you dreamed up.
- She seems awful real to me.

Why make yourself unhappy
imagining things?

Does she still seem so real?

It's beautiful.

I can't imagine anyone
more suited to it.

It looks as if it were
made for me.

I'm sure the jeweller had
you in mind.

To us.

- Can you rack this table for rotation?
- Sure thing.

Nice little place, do you own it?

That's me, gents.

And that's me, gents.

You see my name on the outside,
The Snarp's Pool Room.

I always figured I'd like to own
a little business like this.

- Easy work, huh?
- Soft touch.

Of course it takes intelligence
to run it.

But I could see at a glance
that you gents got that.

How's profits?

Just like hitting the jackpot
and a slot machine.

- This place looks good.
- Yes.

Ideal neighborhood.

You know, the way I've been feeling,
the right offer might tempt me to sell.

- Why sell a gold mine?
- Well, my health's been kinda failing.

I figured I'd sorta retire
to my range in Peoria.

Look. Solid oak.

- A little chipped around the edges.
- Oh, that makes it more homelike.

- Looks kinda shabby to me.
- That ain't shabby, that's antique.

Strictly high-class clientele.

Every man a perfect marksman.

You know, you'll go a long ways before
you find a crowd easier with a buck.

- Would it support both of us?
- Oh, you're gonna be partners, hm?

Yeah.

- Maybe we could find a sideline.
- No, I don't think that would work out.

Take over for me, Eel, will you?

With a layout like this you can't miss.

The boys is horse crazy.
Bet on anything.

- Sounds good.
- Sit down.

And of course, if they got up and left,
sell them a chance in the numbers racket.

And there's always the bar.

- This is what we're looking for.
- No doubt about it.

It's a steal at any price.

- Just one hitch. Cops.
- Oh.

Cost you a grand extra.

- But I'll set you in solid before I pull out.
- Oh, that's swell.

Why, there ain't a badge in town
I can't do business with.

I'll never forget one wise
flatfoot turned me in.

I had him bust...

Badges, huh?

- You dirty coppers!
- Come on!

- You flatfooted...
- Let's get out of here!

Say, wait a minute.
Come on, man.

You can't do this to me!

Hey, look! I'll have you guys
so far out in the country...

...the woodpeckers'll be eating
your nightsticks.

Come on.

Lt. Morrow of the police department
is on the phone again.

Says Snarp keeps rattling the bars
and insisting you're his pal.

Okay.

Sorry, Lieutenant, Mr. O'Neill
never heard of the Snarp.

- Terry can't do this!
- Won't you ask him just once more?

Okay.

It's apt to mean my job.

- No.
- Now, before you throw me out.

- It's Snarp's third rap.
- No, no dice.

And I told Eel and Fishface
to keep out of this office.

Okay, boss. I guess I'll have to turn
them over to Dismas.

What?

Dismas. My cousin, Father Nolan, runs
a retreat near Baltimore.

- How's business?
- Sellout.

He figures there's not much of anything
St. Dismas can't do for a mug in trouble.

He's the good thief who was also
crucified on the Calvary.

Patron saint of hoodlums
and down-and-outers.

Hoodlums and down-and-outers?

- Well?
- Well, St. Dismas...

Eel, what do you think's happened
to Terry?

He never used to be like this.

I wish he was broke with us
back in Baltimore.

Money sure changes people.

How would you know?

Thanks, Cy.
You've given me an idea.

I think I have a little job for Dismas.

You take this and square Snarp's
rap tomorrow.

What good will that do?

Well, if Snarp buys St. Dismas
and thinks he's sprung by him,

he'll stop pulling the things
that get him into jail.

Not bad.

Then the pool hall will take care
of the mugs.

And they'll be out of my hair.
Oh, what a gag.

Isn't it sort of risky fooling
around with religion?

Charity's part of religion. And what you've
got in your hand buys plenty of charity.

And remember. Snarp will
be sprung by St. Dismas.

Right.

- Well, that's settled.
- Shall I tell the boys anything?

Hm?

No. I've got it.

Fishface! Eel!

This way, boys, he'll see you.

You... you gonna help him?

Boys, I'm sorry.

But this time it's gonna take somebody
bigger than me to help Snarp.

Who? There ain't nobody
bigger than you.

Who are you talking about?

Dismas.
Now listen carefully.

Because you've got to repeat every
bit of this to the Snarp.

We won't miss a word.

Dismas can really get Snarp
out of the clink?

It's a cinch.
If Snarp will talk to him.

And if the talk turns out all right.

Jesus was on the cross.

And the spikes was cutting
through his hands.

And the Roman soldiers they was
shooting crap for his clothes.

And there was two other guys
on the crosses.

Both of them thieves.

One of them was Justus
and the other was Dismas.

That's our man, Dismas,
the right guy.

All of a sudden, Justus says to Jesus,

come on if you're such a big shot,

why don't you save us?

Why don't you do something for us?

And Jesus didn't say nothing. Even when
Justus called him everything in the book.

Dismas turned to Justus and said,

leave him alone, we got this
coming to us.

But this guy, he's been framed.

He's up here on a bum rap.

Then... Dismas says to Jesus,

I ain't much, pal, he says,

I've been a bum and a thief
all my life.

But... well...

when you gets upstairs, would you
kind of remember me?

And Jesus said,

"Today thou shalt be with
me in paradise."

And ever since that, Dismas
has been a saint.

And he sits up there and puts in a good
word for mugs and hoodlums.

Terry says St. Dismas is the only guy
who can help you beat this rap.

Terry says you should talk to him.

Promise him you'll go straight.

Down on my knees?

Any way you feel comfortable,
Terry says.

For years now Terry and me
has been great friends.

He's pulled me out of a lot of holes.

But this stuff you're giving me, talk.

Nothing but patter and words.
That's what Terry sends me when I want help.

Go on, get out the both of you.
Get out!

What's going on here?

Get these heels out of here
before I murder them!

- But Terry says...
- Get out, get out!

Alright, come on.

So you told Snarp the story
about St. Dismas.

- Yeah, just like Terry told it to us.
- Ah, wise up, stupid.

All them big guys are runouts.

Get on that griddle and they're ready
with a wisecrack but not with the dough.

- But Terry...
- Ah, you can have your hotshot Terry O'Neills.

Come on, Eel.

Holy smoke!

For the love of Mike!

Snarp!

What happened? How'd you do it?

I was just sitting there
in the iron bed, wondering, thinking.

Thinking about him.

And what I said to him.

And they come and open me door...

Snarp, the copper says,
you're free.

Me, free.

I just stood there, I couldn't move.

Scram, the copper says.

And I scrammed.

And here I am, sprung.

Sprung by a saint.

- Good morning, Trina.
- Good morning, partner.

Partner, since when?

You're looking at the sole owner of twelve
shares of East Coast Commodities.

No!

- How are we doing?
- Oh, we're prosperous.

Mr. Terry, I've got a gilded
investment for you.

Slim Lady in the fourth
of Washington Park.

Put ten on the nose for luck.

Going up.

How many people in this building
are playing the market?

Everybody in the country's buying
stock, Mr. Terry.

You know, this 1929 is better
than last year.

Already the barber's made $11,000.

And not a throat cut in town.

Hello, Terry?

Hey, look, I had a little argument
with a guy at the ball park.

He tried to tell me that government bonds
were better than East Coast Commodities.

Yeah, that's what I told him.

You'll be down here this afternoon?

Okay! So long!

- Well, come on.
- What did he say?

Boys, with Terry O'Neill and St. Dismas
plotting for us, how can we lose?

- Yeah, but what did he say?
- What did he say we gotta do?

A few more months of this
and we'll be looking for yachts.

Never mind them yachts.
Do we toss the lettuce in or don't we?

Come on, Snarp, what gives?

Just imagine cruising them
tropical seas.

- Aw, come on, give.
- Do we get the green light?

Look, Terry says there's nothing better
than East Coast Commodities.

I never saw a prettier girl.

- Terry!
- Looking at a prettier sight.

Terry, I was... I'm overwhelmed.

Oh, just a little building I picked up.

It's a lovely pile of stone.

It's a lovely pile of girl.

Thank you.

I acquired the one just after
I lost the other.

I was on my way to see you.

You're too good to be true.

Do you want to pinch me?

- Thanks.
- Ouch.

It's really you.

- How long will you be in town?
- Until tomorrow.

It's a big city.
Have you engaged a guy, country girl?

I said I was on my way to see you.

That is, if an executive
vice-president has...

Oh, I have a jam-packed schedule.

But all of a sudden there's
nothing on it but you.

- How is Uncle Joe?
- He's well.

Yeah? And how's my favorite matron?

- Widow.
- No!

It happened quite a while ago.

Oh, I'm really sorry, Kay.

Well, to be honest it never was the
all-American marriage, especially for him.

Maybe that was my fault.

Maybe it never should have happened.

Aside from that, how are things?

- I can't complain.
- Sure?

Sure. I've been back on the paper
for two years.

Writing a column of chit-chat.

Oh, I'm no Halley's comet like you.

But a syndicate here is
handling my stuff.

That's my excuse for being in town.

Lovely fingers to mess around
in printer's ink.

Is that your future?

I don't think it would be any fun
to know the future.

No?

You know, this is the nicest thing
that's happened to me in years.

I've often thought about you
and all those dollars.

Well, they're still piling up.

And still the most important
thing in your life.

Oh, I sometimes think of other things.

- Want to go slumming?
- You're the guide.

Snarp's Pool Emporium.

Gents... and ladies.

We've all had favors from
the good thief.

And now we got a way
to pay him back.

The boys have elected me,
and Fishface, and Eel.

We have contacted the Reverend Miller,

Rabbi Meyerberg, and Father Duffy.

They're gonna hunt up the neediest
families and their flocks...

...and each year, on St. Dimas' day,

the names they give us will get
the nod from the good thief.

And now, the guy that made
all this possible,

and the best pal a mug ever had.

Terry O'Neill!

This is a wonderful thing.

I...

I'm very proud of every one of you.

And now, kick in, everybody.
Give till it hurts.

We only talk to you once a year.

So open up them shoes and dig out
that rainy-day dough.

Give for St. Dismas.

Alright folks, alright, put it
right in there.

Terry.

Right.

Gee, a hundred bucks!

I hope there's no glue on
those fingers.

# For he's a jolly good fellow #
# For he's a jolly good fellow #

# For he's a jolly good fellow #

# Which nobody can deny #
# Which nobody can... #

You gave me a nice surprise.
What's next?

Well, the license bureau's closed, but...

I know the chief clerk.

Lady, if I asked you,
would I be too late again?

That's a little too much of a surprise.

I lost you once through
my own foolishness.

If you make the lightning strike twice,

I'll be an awful mess.

How would Dusty feel about it?

Dusty?

The boys at the syndicate report
she's gorgeous.

- Did you expect me to turn into a monk?
- Not Terence O'Neill.

What would she say?

Why don't you ask her?

The Silver Web, please.

# Oh, how am I to know #

The boys at the syndicate
weren't wrong.

# If it's really love #
# That found its way here #

# Oh, how am I to know #

# Will it linger on #
# And leave me then #

# I dare not guess #

# At the strange happiness #

# For, oh, how am I to know #

# Can it be that love #

# Has come to stay here #

Good evening.

Miss Millard, Miss Lorisson.

Kay, Dusty.

How do you do?

- You sing beautifully.
- He's responsible for that.

Deep in the throat, warm,
intimate, he says.

Lots of heart.

You don't know your own strength.

You're travelling in nice company.
Something new?

An old skeleton from way back
in the closet.

He's hidden some very nice things away.

What a lovely bracelet.

Considering what was paid for it,
it should be.

I can imagine.

Shall I duck for the cellar
till the cyclone passes?

Oh now, don't deprive us of our fun.

I've always wondered what
you looked like.

I've done a little wondering
about you too.

I've always had a plan for this meeting.

But now that I've seen you,
it's no good.

What was it?

To do everything I could
to spoil things for you.

You're making a wonderful stab at it.

I used to lie there at night thinking,

What has she that I haven't?

I'm beginning to get the answer.

She has the man.

Back to the coal mines, Dusty.

Me and my torch.

- I'm sorry I met you.
- I'm sorry you feel that way.

Lots of bad luck.

Um... check, please.
And...

- She's pretty wonderful.
- Yes.

Were you much in love with her?

Love is a soap bubble.
Hard thing to put your finger on.

Seems pretty unfair.

It isn't a very fair world.

But Dusty's eyes have always been open.
And to harp a phrase from you,

it wouldn't have been the all-American
marriage, especially for her.

I see.

There... shall we go?

# Let's be the same #
# As when we started #

# I'm wrong #
# And I've learned my lesson #

# Somehow I... #

Hello, Mason. Look, get the man from the
florist shop up right away.

He sleeps in the basement, you know.
And...

Fill that bowl on the table in front
of the fireplace...

...with white roses.

Right, and hurry.

# You will come back #

# To me #

Secret of success.

Well, you, er... you step into
an elevator.

Someone presses the button
that says "up".

Of course it's better if you
do it yourself.

- Top floor.
- With you it would be the top floor.

A ride to the stars.

I hope you'll like where I live, lady.

My goodness!

- Like it?
- I can't see it.

Light's over here.

Terry! White roses!

I always keep a bowl of fresh
ones right there.

Oh, Cornwall, how sweet.

Oh... now I love it!

How do you like the sweep of that wall?

Very nice.

I had the best decorator in town.
Gave him carte-blanche.

Where in the world did he
ever find those?

They're lovely.

That little lady I acquired on my own.

Is it Ming?
- A Chinese goddess... of prosperity.

Yes, I know. If I hold her
and make a wish, will I get it?

You don't have to make a wish.
She represents my first million.

- Oh.
- And that one's my second.

I picked her up last week.

Just like that, a pick-up?

Oh, not her, she made me
work like a dog.

But I got her.

She's mine.

I see you've left room for a few more.

Yeah, there'll be quite a harem
the way things are going.

Terry, is it worth it?
Your ride to the stars?

Is it worth it?

Come here and I'll show you.

Something especially special.

Lady, I haven't a cloak to spread
at your feet.

I hope this might do.

Night, darkness, lights.

- Do you like it?
- Well, yes.

It all makes me a little dizzy.

Makes me feel as if I don't know whether
I'm standing on my head or on my feet.

- Why?
- Well, I'm a little mixed up.

Which is real to you, Terry,
the top floor or...

or the Pool Emporium...

...and the homely loveable mugs
and their devotion to a good thief?

- Dismas?
- You told me you gave him to them.

- Hm.
- Snarp told me too.

Such a look in his eye.

Sure I did, I gave him to him as a gag.

A gag.

Yeah, it was an easy way to comb
them out of my hair.

You made them believe something
you don't believe yourself?

What's the difference?

It seems like fooling around
with providence.

With you, angel, it would be heaven.

Marry me, Kay?

I'm afraid to.

Why?

Maybe I'm afraid of my rivals.

The ladies on the mantelpiece.

They'd be yours.

Your personal maids to get you
anything you could ask for.

Yes, but my husband would always
be flirting with the maids.

Hey, what's going on in that
head of yours?

It's not in my head, Terry.

It's just a feeling.

I don't know, you're 90%
of someone wonderful.

Who am I to ask for more?

You're kind and you're generous.

Why, you'd pay the highest price
for anything you wanted,

and you'd want it for just as long
as you wanted it.

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm a little like the girl who...

...who insisted that her man
had purple eyes.

Your eyes are blue.

You're not going.

I'd better go before I start to cry.

Kay!

This doesn't make sense.

Is there someone else?

Yes, there is.

A fellow I met a long time ago...

...in a worn major's uniform.

His name was Cornwall.

Kay.

It's all right, I know my way out.

You press a button... that says "down".

I'm ruined, ruined!

- The worst panic in history.
- There goes my last dime.

- Give me one, kid.
- Still dropping.

Right through the basement.

Come on, you financier,
that'll be 12 cents.

I wonder what happened to Dismas.

And it's growing worse.
They're closed down.

Nothing left, not even a dime.

There's only one thing left for us,
we gotta see Terry.

- Yeah, he'll have an angle.
- Oh, sure!

The boss is sorry, but he's in the
same boat you are.

Yes, Marty?

Not at 38 points.

Well, that's that.
It's been nice knowing you, Marty.

Mart's headed for China.

And I'm headed for the cleaner's.

Anything I can quote you on, Terry?

Yes.

You can tell the world I'm sorry
I lost my dough.

Trina, how about...

What did I tell you?

People jumping out of windows
all over town...

...and Slim Lady just came in today at
Belmont Park and paid forty two bucks.

Maggie, you're a wise woman.

Don't ever change.

- That's the complete inventory.
- Thank you.

Mr. Martin okayed your offer.

We'll take over the furniture
and cancel the lease.

Yeah, that's fair enough.
Er...

- May I have those?
- Why not?

Thank you.

It's the end of a beautiful friendship.

Is Mr. O'Neill in?

I hear they picked you cleaner
than a Christmas goose.

Oh, I don't know.

Let's see, I've got a pass
to the ballpark and, um...

- A buck sixty-three.
- Terry, you still have your friends.

And I'm no fair-weather canary.

There's no cage left, Dusty.
Not even a perch.

I can still make a buck
singing in saloons.

Terry.

Thanks, Dusty.

Those are nice words,
and I won't forget them.

But it's no dice.

Is it still Kay?

I'd like to meet my obligations
by paying my own way.

Okay, Terry.

If that's the way you want it.

Keep it, please.

It may come in handy to meet
your obligations.

I'm paying your own way.

It's still yours, Dusty.

- Ladies, this is the apartment.
- Oh, what a grand place!

And what a beautiful view.

Have you noticed the red and yellow,
it's so posh in red and yellow.

Oh, I do hope it's a nice apartment.

Madam, it's perfect.

Except for the mice.

- Hiya, Marty.
- Well, how are you, Terry?

- Sit down.
- Thanks.

What's on your mind?

Well, I'm looking for a job.

Look, there's no use beating
around the bush

Your name's got the death
case all over it.

The cry babies blame you
for losing their dough.

I lost mine too, didn't I?

But they've got to blame somebody.

They elected you and Malbery.

Why don't you try some other town?

I like the climate here.

I hand you one thing, Terry,
you don't cry.

My handkerchief's in the laundry.

Well.

Well.

Thanks, Marty.

Main floor.

- Snarp.
- Oh, I'll be back in half an hour.

Okay.

Terry!

Oh, Terry, gee wiz!

- Boy, it's good to see you.
- Well, right back at you.

We've been wondering
what happened to you.

- What have you been doing?
- Oh, I've been drifting around...

...on a long vacation.

You mean you ain't working?
Oh, that's terrible.

What ever drove you
to jock in an elevator?

Well, the pool room ain't
been doing so good...

...so I gave the boys my share.

With this job I can slip a handout
when they need it.

How'd you happen to hit
my old building?

I knew one day you'd walk
right through that door.

- Well, the place gives me the creeps.
- Well, come on, let's get out of here then.

You know, I've been reading a lot
nights about Dismas and things.

- Got it hard going?
- Yeah.

I talk to him too, going up
and down that shaft.

Did you ever try him?

I don't go for him.

I've been afraid of that.

It'd sort of be silly for me
to cop a plea with him.

He's a pretty right guy.

I put out a plea for you but you
should have spoke for yourself.

Who to?

Hey, O'Neill!

- Hiya, Ed.
- Terry.

This is the cockeyedest thing.
You've been on my mind for three days.

You'd better see a psychiatrist.

I'm heading for Paris on a dream job,
foreign correspondent.

Well, it couldn't happen to a
better newspaperman.

Thanks. You know, I could think of
a hundred guys to take my place.

But somehow you stuck in my mind.

- Are you on the level?
- You bet I am.

Well, you've got a boy.

Get in, we'll head for the office.

That's what I call service.

Well, Terry, how's it going?

Well, I...

I sat down here to write a market report
and another Dismas piece started coming out.

- I was wondering why.
- Have you seen this?

A man named Dempster McMurphy
in Chicago...

...has been writing about Dismas
for some time.

How many press agents does
Dismas need?

McMurphy's awfully good.

Listen.

"Tomorrow is the feast day
of St. Dismas,

the good thief who rolls the
outfield of eternity...

...making shoestring catches
of lost souls."

Dempster McMurphy.

"Making shoestring catches
of lost souls."

I don't know how you can top that.

Well, don't let it throw you, old boy.

- Oh, hello.
- Hello.

Hey, a guy just tells me this stuff
you write is literature.

Did he tell you why I write it?

Well, I thought more people should
oughta know about the good thief.

So I asked him to give you the nudge.

- Oh, you did, huh?
- Sure.

I can't stop thinking about
the way I got this job.

I know, wasn't I with you?

Automatic writing.

It's like being pushed by some
invisible hand.

And I don't like it.

The mugs say your stories helped the
collections in them tin cups a lot.

Look, Snarp, I told you.

I don't go for this the way
you and the mugs do.

If you didn't, you couldn't put
them words together.

Well, if I did, I'd swear he broke
me on purpose...

...so I'd end up writing this junk.

Could be.

Look, when things get into my hair,
I comb them out.

From now on, Dismas belongs to you.

You and Mr. McMurphy, the gentleman
who's writing about him in Chicago.

Dismas belongs to all of us.

Don't make me a partner.

You... you ain't gonna stop writing
about him, are you?

I'll never write another word
about him.

Oh, Terry, this is terrible.

Look, where are you going?

The Bankers' Convention
in White Sulphur Springs.

I beg your pardon, I don't mean
to be inquisitive but...

Are you feeling all right?

Yes.. I...

I think so.

May I get you a glass of water?

Oh no, thanks, I, um...

I'll get myself a glass of water.

Been under a strain lately?

I lost a double-header to
the ticker tape.

That seems to be a countrywide
epidemic.

Yes. Say, um... how soon can
I get out of here?

You know, I'm due at a bankers'
convention in...

The bankers I've seen lately
should be here with you.

You need a few months' rest.

I don't want to scare you.

But you can't keep on giving
yourself these lickings forever.

And remember, no mental conflict
or excitement.

My editor will love that.

What'll I do for entertainment?

We'll try our best to keep you amused.

- Ah, Father.
- Doctor.

Well, I hope you're feeling better.

Say, you were on the train with me.

I'm Father Nolan.
Cy Nolan's cousin.

Well then... this is your retreat.

- Near Baltimore.
- It is.

Well, this is one place I never
thought I'd be in.

Cy has written me quite
a lot about you.

Funny I start out for a bankers' convention
in White Sulphur Springs and wind up here.

I wonder if my friend Snarp
has his nose in this.

Snarp?

I don't believe I know him.

I'm beginning to wonder
whether I do.

Okay, lugheads, Dusty wants
to talk to you.

- She's putting us back on the cushion.
- What's the score, Dusty?

This is it short and sweet.

Those O'Neill articles have been helping
your collections, haven't they?

- Sure!
- I should say they have.

Well, the idea is to turn the St. Dismas
Fund into a gold mine and dig the gold.

From now on we're lifting 95c out of
every buck comes in the joint.

And there'll be plenty of bucks.

We'll get new cups, flashy signs,
more collectors,

reprint Terry's articles and pass them
around among the suckers.

Hit the big time, guys,
build this thing sky-high.

In thirty days we'll be loaded with dough
and on our way out of town.

Why, the dollars will be ringing in here
like the bells in the churches.

Well, they turned our St. Dismas
Fund into a racket.

- A racket?
- Yeah.

Collecting big dough and knocking
it down.

A lot of guys think you're in on it
and using them articles as a front.

- Do you think I'm in on it?
- Not if you say you ain't.

Well, consider it said.

I knew you wasn't.
Just wanted to hear them words.

But if things ain't squared right now,
the cops are moving in.

- Good.
- Father Duffy says it's bad.

Some newspaper guy is hot.

Can't you do something?

Look, Snarp,

I told you in my office how
I feel about Dismas.

I'm sorry, but...

Well, I tried.

Take care of yourself, Terry.
Goodbye, Father.

They'd never fall for this crooked stuff...

...if they hadn't found out you just
gave them Dismas as a gag.

I wish...

I wish you never told us about him.

Snarp!

That's my room over there
on the corner.

- Will you get my stuff together?
- Right!

This trip is bound to involve
excitement, strain.

The authorities will find some
way of working it out.

For your sake, don't go.

- I'm afraid I have to.
- You won't change your mind?

No, it's an obligation.

I have to meet it.

Miss Kay.

Hello.

Shall I keep right on driving, Cornwall?

- How much time have we?
- Not enough.

I'm beginning to find that out.

I heard you were here and I couldn't
keep away any longer.

- Why?
- Because I knew you were hurt and down.

Oh, I'm up, I'm charging again.

Not after another Chinese goddess.

Oh, no I was hit on the head
with two of them.

From now on I collect soap wrappers.

Terry darling in a major's uniform.

Is it really out of the closet?

Oh, I've even stopped combing
things out of my hair.

Hey, Terry! We gotta lam!

Lady, I've got to go to New York.

The mugs are in trouble again,
they need guidance.

Can I help?

No, this is something that's
just for me.

It's a mess I started and I've got
to try to clean it up.

Oh, Terry!

It's going to be quite a tussle.

But if things work out right,

maybe I'll... come back to Baltimore.

Maybe I'll try to stiff-arm Uncle Joe
out of a job and...

...build you an oriole's nest.

That's still a little high, isn't it?

How about a one-story nest
on the ground?

With no push-buttons that say
up or down.

That's what I meant.

But there ought to be one thing more.

You should have a clock in it.
A clock with no hands.

Why no hands?

So we'd never know
that time was passing by.

So it would always be right now.

Oh!

Bye!

So, you're the girl he tried
to keep hidden in his heart.

Bless you for that, Father.

But he doesn't look well at all,
letting Snarp carry his bag that way.

That's not like him, Father.

Well, he's still weak.

But I'm sure he gained strength
in the last few minutes.

Hey, Three Fingers, Three Fingers,
look who's coming.

- Hello, Terry.
- Well, what do you know.

All right, boys, no stalling.

Where is the Dismas money?

Why, Terry, don't you know?

It goes to the poor.

Look, The Charities Foundation Board
is on your tails.

Your one chance is to get that
dough back, all of it.

So kick in or go to jail.

Can you imagine that?
Accusing us of such a thing.

- Gee, you can search us, Terry.
- You won't find nothing.

Don't let that worry you, Terry.
If we go to jail, Dismas will spring us.

You know, just like he sprung
the Snarp.

I want that money! Where is it?

What are you picking on me for?
I ain't the only one.

Well!

Who's your tough friend, Three Finger?

And what are you doing
down here, slumming?

Dusty, if you're in on this
deal, get this.

Every Dismas nickel must be returned.

I learned all the answers from you.

Do you think I'm sap enough to let
anyone have anything on me?

Look, Dusty, you came up
the hard way.

Think of the people the Dismas Fund
gives hope to.

Get him.

When you started this Dismas
thing I warned you...

...about fooling around with religion.

You said religion's fat dough
in your hand.

We've got the dough.

Now don't tell me you've got religion.

Here are some of the families
you guys have helped.

This is Johnny Ryan. Eight months
in the Orthopedic Hospital.

Now he's back carrying his
paper route.

- How are you doing, Johnny?
- Swell.

Every morning we praise and
give thanks to him and you.

St. Dismas put the Cohens
on their feet.

Thanks.

And here's the two-hundred bucks.

And, uh...

- Some interest.
- Thank you very much for coming.

- Thank you.
- Goodbye.

Alright, kid.

Well, didn't it say anything
to you guys?

Well, didn't it?

Very touching scene.

Look, we used to be friends.

I guess the "used to be" is my fault.

But at least I learned a few
things along the way.

- How did you survive the shock?
- Here comes some more of them words.

Yes, that's right. Words like honesty,
hard work, truth.

Bugs, it's your shot.
Come on, boys.

Nine ball in the corner pocket.

Eel, Three Finger, get Fishface
and trail them.

Hey, Fishface, hurry up, come on!

Dismas, we ain't talked much lately.

But I hope you'll listen,
and I hope you'll answer.

Cause Terry here wants
a few words with you.

Well, what do you know.

I made my donation on Thursday
the 24th.

- The amount?
- Two hundred dollars.

Yes, that'll be all, thank you.

Thank you.

I've been next to this story for
three days, it's too good to miss.

Why don't you give me the figures?

I promised these gentlemen nothing
would be done until six o'clock.

You promised to abide by that
if we'd let you stay.

A few more minutes won't
hurt your story.

What happened at the pool room
after we left?

I'm sorry, gentlemen,
but I had no luck.

Mr. Samuels, I don't suppose there's
anything else we could do.

- Cover the shortage or...
- I'm afraid not.

Those people must be punished.

How did you run on to this
Dismas thing, O'Neill?

I hear there's talk the Dismas
Fund is crooked.

I've helped the mugs keep
things straight.

This book shows every penny
collected and paid out.

And there's the cash balance.

Well I'll be fried.

The balance is fifteen hundred
bucks short.

That went for eating and
sleeping money.

Dusty, I'm sort of tired
carrying this around.

Thanks.

This should hock for at least
three thousand dollars.

Anything over the shortage is on me.

Nice going.

Good day, gentlemen.

And of course we know the
history of this clock.

Its geneology, you might say,
from the moment it was built.

Pure Georgian, divinely pure Georgian.

And notice these traceries here.

I think they're most amusing,
don't you?

Oh, most, most.

And the case is so jolly,
don't you think?

It's almost a belly laugh,
in mahogany.

Stop, Cornwall.
I love it, we'll take it.

Oh, good for you. I know you'll
never regret it.

Oh, there's just one more thing.

We'd like you to take the hands off.

I beg your pardon?

Yes, take those horrid hands off.

Now.

We want to watch you, to be sure.

But for heaven's sake...
I mean, why?

So we'll never know what time it is.