Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,103 --> 00:00:16,331
So, kids, would you like to hear the story of the time I went deaf?
2
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,376
Why does he even ask?
3
00:00:17,422 --> 00:00:19,418
I know, he's just going to tell us anyway.
4
00:00:19,496 --> 00:00:20,633
I sure am.
5
00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:24,089
It all began when Robin strolled into the bar and said...
6
00:00:24,145 --> 00:00:25,164
Say you're my bitch.
7
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,254
I'm your bitch.
8
00:00:26,316 --> 00:00:27,439
Why this time?
9
00:00:27,617 --> 00:00:32,067
Because tonight I'm getting us all into Okay.
10
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,126
"Okay," awesome!
11
00:00:34,130 --> 00:00:35,901
What's going on? Did I just have a stroke?
12
00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:38,092
Okay is the name of a club.
13
00:00:38,149 --> 00:00:40,130
Yeah, it's supposed to be incredibly exclusive.
14
00:00:40,186 --> 00:00:43,212
This friend of mine once waited outside for two hours, couldn't get in.
15
00:00:43,263 --> 00:00:45,117
A friend of yours named You?
16
00:00:45,214 --> 00:00:48,113
No, a friend of mine named Shut Up.
17
00:00:48,604 --> 00:00:50,129
Yeah, well, the owner goes to my gym.
18
00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:53,519
It turns out that he is a fan of my reporting for Metro News One.
19
00:00:53,565 --> 00:00:55,153
So now I'm on the list for tonight.
20
00:00:55,202 --> 00:00:56,776
Nice going, Sherbotsky.
21
00:00:56,822 --> 00:00:59,608
You're becoming a long and difficult-to-spell household name.
22
00:00:59,744 --> 00:01:01,859
He's even getting me into the V.I.P. room.
23
00:01:01,915 --> 00:01:05,859
Yeah, he just wants to show you his own V.I.P., if you know what I mean.
24
00:01:06,027 --> 00:01:09,822
All right, what does V.I.P. stand for in your little universe?
25
00:01:10,993 --> 00:01:13,232
Well, I know that "P" is Penis.
26
00:01:13,998 --> 00:01:16,851
Great, so you guys are in. Should I invite Marshal and Lily?
27
00:01:17,763 --> 00:01:18,955
Why was this funny?
28
00:01:19,022 --> 00:01:20,102
I'll explain.
29
00:01:20,307 --> 00:01:22,734
You see, Lily was a kindergarten teacher,
30
00:01:22,797 --> 00:01:25,529
and so one fateful nap time...
31
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:29,242
Austin and I spent Saturday night at the most charming little bed and breakfast.
32
00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:30,973
It was so nice.
33
00:01:31,069 --> 00:01:32,631
What did you do this weekend?
34
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:36,967
Go, come on, chug, chug, chug!
35
00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:38,278
Ten seconds!
36
00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:40,281
Suck it, losers!
37
00:01:42,938 --> 00:01:45,686
You know, quiet time with the fianc�.
38
00:01:47,009 --> 00:01:49,651
I don't know, I just felt embarrassed.
39
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:54,427
Claire is my age and she and her husband do all this classy grownup stuff.
40
00:01:54,503 --> 00:01:57,642
Maybe we should start doing some grownup stuff.
41
00:01:57,703 --> 00:01:59,925
That's some pretty grownup stuff we did this morning.
42
00:02:00,008 --> 00:02:02,143
Yeah, but it wasn't classy.
43
00:02:03,475 --> 00:02:06,029
Maybe we should have a wine-tasting party.
44
00:02:06,137 --> 00:02:07,360
I like wine.
45
00:02:07,554 --> 00:02:08,957
I like tasting.
46
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:12,925
You know I can party. Let's do it. Let's rock it. Maturity style.
47
00:02:14,483 --> 00:02:17,734
And ever since then she's been signing him up for book clubs, cooking classes...
48
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:21,998
All the things you do when you know where your next thousand lays are coming from.
49
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,323
So, no, Lily and Marshall will not be joining us.
50
00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:27,041
Got it. Anyway, Ted, part two of my story:
51
00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:28,715
My friend Kelly's going to be there.
52
00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:31,266
Kelly, who supposedly I'm going to love.
53
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:35,013
Oh, you are going to love Kelly. She's fun, she's smart, she lives in the moment...
54
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:38,807
Translation: She's ugly, she's ugly, she ugs in the ugly.
55
00:02:38,879 --> 00:02:41,097
Oh, and she's totally hot.
56
00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:43,676
Okay, I guess I could take her off your hands for an evening.
57
00:02:43,703 --> 00:02:44,250
Hmm...
58
00:02:44,295 --> 00:02:46,846
So do you have any other hot, single friends?
59
00:02:46,853 --> 00:02:48,330
No. Kelly...
60
00:02:50,992 --> 00:02:52,699
Oh, no, Ted, your blazer!
61
00:02:52,743 --> 00:02:53,541
What, what, what?
62
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:56,118
Somebody spilled gorgeous all over it.
63
00:02:56,156 --> 00:02:57,492
- Love it.
- Thank you.
64
00:02:58,254 --> 00:03:00,486
And his hair was perfect.
65
00:03:01,172 --> 00:03:03,107
We're wearing the same shirt.
66
00:03:03,168 --> 00:03:06,599
Oh, wait, no, that's just my shirt reflected in yours.
67
00:03:06,702 --> 00:03:09,511
One of the 24 similarities between girls and fish
68
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,169
is that they're both attracted to shiny objects.
69
00:03:12,242 --> 00:03:14,275
You really never read my blog, do you?
70
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,517
All right, tin man, let's hit it.
71
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:19,230
All right, well, have fun at your little disco, guys.
72
00:03:19,423 --> 00:03:21,083
What the hell happened to these two?
73
00:03:21,145 --> 00:03:22,712
Marshall and I are just growing up.
74
00:03:22,773 --> 00:03:24,410
Yeah, it's going to be sweet, too.
75
00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:26,347
Like tonight, we're tasting all these different wines,
76
00:03:26,398 --> 00:03:28,952
pairing them up with these cool gourmet cheeses.
77
00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:36,172
Wow, who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay?
78
00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:38,737
All right, cool kids are leaving now.
79
00:03:39,102 --> 00:03:41,891
Grandma, Grandpa, don't wait up.
80
00:03:48,774 --> 00:03:54,011
My, oh, my. There are some ferocious-looking cutlets here tonight.
81
00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:56,141
All right, hookup strategy.
82
00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:59,565
Colon, find a cutlet, lock her in early,
83
00:03:59,632 --> 00:04:02,637
grind with her all night till she's mine.
84
00:04:02,949 --> 00:04:04,854
Do these strategies ever work for you?
85
00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:08,803
The question is: Do these strategies ever not work for me?
86
00:04:09,053 --> 00:04:11,357
Either way, the answer is about half the time.
87
00:04:13,201 --> 00:04:15,352
My bitches!
88
00:04:15,474 --> 00:04:16,325
Check this out.
89
00:04:16,385 --> 00:04:17,716
Um, they're with me.
90
00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:23,701
Um, we're her bitches, too.
91
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,758
We'll wait here.
92
00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:32,252
And with today's interest rate climate, you've got to go for the 30-year fixed mortgage.
93
00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:33,588
- Oh, totally.
- Yeah.
94
00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:35,857
So, Marshall, what about you?
95
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,598
You guys thinking house, baby?
96
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,985
Oh!
97
00:04:39,635 --> 00:04:42,199
No, I think we're going to wait on the baby thing.
98
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:45,181
I mean, I love babies. Babies rule.
99
00:04:45,446 --> 00:04:47,176
Pudgy arms and stuff...
100
00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:49,327
But, uh, they make you old.
101
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:53,721
Kind of like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... forever.
102
00:04:54,315 --> 00:04:56,158
I'm three months pregnant.
103
00:04:57,443 --> 00:04:59,388
Not awkward, guys.
104
00:04:59,624 --> 00:05:02,306
Not awkward unless we let it be awkward.
105
00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:09,638
This place seems great.
106
00:05:09,704 --> 00:05:10,534
Is Kelly here?
107
00:05:10,596 --> 00:05:11,928
Yeah, she's around somewhere.
108
00:05:11,969 --> 00:05:13,904
Uh, let's go find her. I'll introduce you guys.
109
00:05:13,964 --> 00:05:16,817
Then I should probably duck into the V.I.P. room.
110
00:05:16,894 --> 00:05:21,067
It's so stupid and arbitrary, isn't it? Who gets to be a V.I.P. and who doesn't?
111
00:05:21,129 --> 00:05:22,096
Can we come?
112
00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:24,139
It's not that arbitrary.
113
00:05:26,807 --> 00:05:28,942
Whoa, this place is loud.
114
00:05:29,008 --> 00:05:29,965
You think?
115
00:06:17,623 --> 00:06:21,130
Think it was kind of weird that Ted didn't invite me out with him?
116
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:26,291
Why? You'd rather be out at some dance club, all noisy and sweaty, with the...
117
00:06:28,134 --> 00:06:29,364
Is that what you want?
118
00:06:31,314 --> 00:06:32,911
Is this what you want?
119
00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:37,427
"30-year fixed mortgage... I'm three months pregnant."
120
00:06:42,109 --> 00:06:44,227
That was awkward.
121
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,884
Let's start drinking!
122
00:06:50,258 --> 00:06:51,451
Not so fast.
123
00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:55,296
In order for the tannins to mellow, we should let it breathe for about 30 minutes.
124
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:58,860
Freaking tannins.
125
00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:32,893
Do you know what they're doing in there right now?
126
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,324
They're watching Claire's ultrasound video.
127
00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:37,864
And I swear to God, even the baby looks bored.
128
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,398
Come on, it's not that bad.
129
00:07:40,491 --> 00:07:42,876
We're really starting to click with these guys.
130
00:07:42,954 --> 00:07:47,732
Claire and Austin just invited us to their fondue fest next Saturday night.
131
00:07:47,822 --> 00:07:50,367
Are you honestly trying to get me excited about fondue?
132
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:53,648
It's dipping stuff in hot cheese. What's not to love?
133
00:07:55,232 --> 00:07:56,998
Okay, that does sound good.
134
00:07:57,489 --> 00:08:01,806
But it's dipping stuff in hot cheese with boring people.
135
00:08:01,975 --> 00:08:04,673
Marshall, it's time for us to grow up.
136
00:08:06,465 --> 00:08:08,077
Marshall knew she was right.
137
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,244
He had to stop acting like a kid.
138
00:08:11,155 --> 00:08:12,240
But not tonight.
139
00:08:13,674 --> 00:08:16,317
Now, our apartment was on the third floor,
140
00:08:16,403 --> 00:08:19,381
so I'm not sure if this part is actually true,
141
00:08:19,454 --> 00:08:21,703
but Uncle Marshall swears it happened.
142
00:08:25,332 --> 00:08:26,357
Taxi!
143
00:09:08,176 --> 00:09:10,000
The new album is great.
144
00:09:10,012 --> 00:09:13,180
It's all smooth and polished, not dark and heavy like the early stuff.
145
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,856
Oh, yeah, Nora Jones just gets better and better.
146
00:09:17,684 --> 00:09:20,250
Please, tell me we can drink the wine now.
147
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:23,225
Five more minutes. We don't want to rush those tannins.
148
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,286
Freaking tannins.
149
00:09:52,773 --> 00:09:54,845
I'm wetting my pants!
150
00:09:59,955 --> 00:10:03,166
I think that's when I realized, clubs weren't awesome.
151
00:10:03,278 --> 00:10:05,306
Clubs weren't even okay.
152
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,288
Clubs sucked.
153
00:10:08,487 --> 00:10:09,965
I had to get out of there.
154
00:10:11,799 --> 00:10:13,273
- Hey, Robin.
- Hey.
155
00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:14,272
Why aren't you inside?
156
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:18,055
I'm calling the owner. There's a guy in there who won't let me in to the stupid V.I.P. room.
157
00:10:18,128 --> 00:10:19,283
What are you doing here?
158
00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:22,337
Oh, I had this move, so I came here to bust it.
159
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:23,472
Can you get me in?
160
00:10:27,051 --> 00:10:28,618
Great. Voice mail.
161
00:10:28,634 --> 00:10:29,606
Thanks, I'll see you!
162
00:10:29,617 --> 00:10:30,312
Bye!
163
00:10:30,369 --> 00:10:32,278
Oh, come on, he just got here.
164
00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:34,142
He's probably famous.
165
00:10:34,219 --> 00:10:36,824
Oh, yeah. Isn't there a third Affleck brother?
166
00:10:36,907 --> 00:10:39,702
Keith Affleck or Brian Affleck or something?
167
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:43,143
Holy crap, we just saw Brian Affleck.
168
00:10:44,537 --> 00:10:47,352
It's not like I care so much about getting into the V.I.P. room,
169
00:10:47,424 --> 00:10:49,697
I have been in tons of V.I.P. rooms.
170
00:10:49,765 --> 00:10:52,207
I'm not exactly a V.I.P. room virgin.
171
00:10:52,478 --> 00:10:53,823
But seriously, call me back.
172
00:10:56,558 --> 00:11:00,341
Oh, um, I was just in there, Robin Sherbotsky. I'm on the list.
173
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,470
Name's already crossed off. Sorry.
174
00:11:03,685 --> 00:11:05,857
But I'm Robin Sherbotsky.
175
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,798
I'm a reporter for Channel One.
176
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,255
There's a channel one?
177
00:11:09,359 --> 00:11:10,536
Back of the line.
178
00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:14,529
Should have snuck in with Brian Affleck.
179
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:52,238
Aah! Coat wench, do not uncheck that man's jacket!
180
00:11:52,469 --> 00:11:54,835
Sorry, just being dramatic. You're not a coat wench.
181
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,656
No, no, no, coat wench, I like it.
182
00:11:56,735 --> 00:11:58,496
I should get a sign made up.
183
00:11:58,808 --> 00:12:00,794
What are you doing here? Lily let you go?
184
00:12:00,856 --> 00:12:02,990
Lily? Who cares, right?
185
00:12:03,043 --> 00:12:04,481
- You are so dead.
- Oh, I am so dead.
186
00:12:04,537 --> 00:12:06,710
- Wow, I'm going home.
- No, uh-uh.
187
00:12:06,745 --> 00:12:09,381
I put my ass and probably other parts of my body on the line
188
00:12:09,422 --> 00:12:11,537
to come down here and party with my bro.
189
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,027
Now, damn it, we're going to party.
190
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:14,271
All right, one beer.
191
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:15,117
Yes!
192
00:12:15,177 --> 00:12:17,706
Finally, I don't have to wait a half an hour for a drink.
193
00:12:25,205 --> 00:12:27,519
Oh, man, I can't believe I forgot to tell you this.
194
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:28,950
This is important to the story.
195
00:12:29,017 --> 00:12:33,518
Earlier that day, Marshall went to the dentist and got a temporary crown put in.
196
00:12:33,573 --> 00:12:34,991
Okay, so anyway...
197
00:12:54,902 --> 00:12:56,997
Marshall, are you okay?
198
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:23,202
Again, I wasn't there, so I'm a little foggy on the details.
199
00:13:25,946 --> 00:13:27,083
Taxi!
200
00:13:30,590 --> 00:13:31,261
Hey.
201
00:13:31,676 --> 00:13:32,357
Hey.
202
00:13:32,428 --> 00:13:35,020
Marshall just ditched out on our own party.
203
00:13:35,056 --> 00:13:37,322
Can you get me in there? I kind of need to kill him.
204
00:13:37,472 --> 00:13:39,340
Actually, I can't even get myself in.
205
00:13:40,271 --> 00:13:41,567
I was such a dork.
206
00:13:41,645 --> 00:13:45,616
I get recognized one time, and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts.
207
00:13:45,853 --> 00:13:47,450
I'm no V.I.P.
208
00:13:47,712 --> 00:13:49,416
I'm not even an I.P.
209
00:13:49,473 --> 00:13:53,661
I'm just a lowly little pea, sitting out here in the gutter.
210
00:13:54,111 --> 00:13:55,576
You know something?
211
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:59,181
I'd take a pea in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day.
212
00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:00,178
Hmm...
213
00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:16,292
I broke my tooth!
214
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:17,674
Do you have...
215
00:14:18,626 --> 00:14:19,655
...any aspirin?
216
00:14:20,588 --> 00:14:21,617
Maybe there's...
217
00:14:22,525 --> 00:14:23,587
a machine in...
218
00:14:24,381 --> 00:14:25,457
...the restroom.
219
00:14:32,969 --> 00:14:35,539
Now to this day, I don't know what happened in there,
220
00:14:35,711 --> 00:14:38,322
but when Marshall came out a few minutes later...
221
00:14:49,654 --> 00:14:50,621
Rough night?
222
00:14:50,698 --> 00:14:51,564
Yeah.
223
00:14:52,132 --> 00:14:55,075
These clubs are supposed to be fun, right?
224
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:56,683
Why do I hate them so much?
225
00:14:56,771 --> 00:15:01,389
Because all of the stuff you're supposed to like usually sucks.
226
00:15:01,511 --> 00:15:04,430
Like these clubs... or cruises.
227
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,273
Or New Year's Eve.
228
00:15:07,459 --> 00:15:08,987
Or the Super Bowl.
229
00:15:09,059 --> 00:15:10,273
Or parades.
230
00:15:10,697 --> 00:15:12,049
The Rockettes.
231
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,386
Or parades.
232
00:15:13,723 --> 00:15:17,011
- You said that already.
- I really hate parades.
233
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:17,814
Okay.
234
00:15:18,945 --> 00:15:23,303
He just left in the middle of our own party! You don't do that.
235
00:15:23,528 --> 00:15:27,059
Unless, of course, you're chasing after somebody who's already done it,
236
00:15:27,108 --> 00:15:29,574
and then... then I think it's okay.
237
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,646
Well, I hate to take his side, but come on, a wine tasting?
238
00:15:33,738 --> 00:15:36,268
What's the big plan for next Saturday, Scrabble night?
239
00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:38,566
Don't check your e-mail.
240
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:41,725
Why are you becoming this person?
241
00:15:41,812 --> 00:15:45,232
I heard that in college you flashed a campus tour group on a dare.
242
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:46,994
Once on a dare.
243
00:15:47,075 --> 00:15:49,062
The other times were just for fun.
244
00:15:50,271 --> 00:15:52,380
I'm not in college anymore.
245
00:15:52,446 --> 00:15:57,142
I'd love to go back and be that person again, but you can't move backwards.
246
00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:58,610
You can only go foreword.
247
00:15:58,678 --> 00:16:00,192
Um, false.
248
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,180
You can go wherever you want.
249
00:16:02,276 --> 00:16:04,371
I guess the question is, where do you want to go?
250
00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:07,602
I want to go into this club and find my fianc�.
251
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:09,414
Well, that you can't do.
252
00:16:10,710 --> 00:16:12,086
Want to bet?
253
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,217
Follow my lead.
254
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,074
Hey, big guy.
255
00:16:20,299 --> 00:16:21,851
I said follow my lead.
256
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,441
- Please, please. Come on.
- Follow her lead. Do it, please.
257
00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:26,868
- Follow her, please.
- Yes, please.
258
00:16:32,306 --> 00:16:36,627
Those were the four greatest and only breasts I've ever seen.
259
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:45,664
Yeah, see, if everyone keeps telling you something is supposed to be fun, it's usually not.
260
00:16:45,716 --> 00:16:46,433
- Right!
- Right.
261
00:16:46,503 --> 00:16:50,974
So, by that logic, if you and I were to say, go out on a date...
262
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:55,147
Well, then we couldn't go anywhere that's supposed to be fun.
263
00:16:55,174 --> 00:16:57,384
Right. The DMV it is.
264
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,684
Then we'll get our teeth cleaned.
265
00:16:58,746 --> 00:17:00,118
Sounds awful. It's a date.
266
00:17:00,179 --> 00:17:01,075
Okay!
267
00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:05,652
But there's still one big question that needs to be answered.
268
00:17:06,872 --> 00:17:09,611
How many of these coats do you think I can put on all at once?
269
00:17:54,693 --> 00:17:57,515
Okay, for the wedge...
270
00:18:18,104 --> 00:18:18,910
Barney?
271
00:18:19,586 --> 00:18:20,400
Ted.
272
00:18:20,755 --> 00:18:22,177
Get your coat. We're leaving.
273
00:18:22,279 --> 00:18:25,991
What... what happened to that, um... cutlet you were grinding with?
274
00:18:26,043 --> 00:18:27,605
That was my cousin Leslie.
275
00:18:27,738 --> 00:18:30,666
- What?!
- No, no, no.
276
00:18:30,728 --> 00:18:32,576
We're not laughing about this, Ted.
277
00:18:32,602 --> 00:18:35,879
This is not gonna be some funny story that we'll be telling in a couple months.
278
00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:41,493
It's not gonna be like, "Hey, ha, remember that time when you were grinding with..." No.
279
00:18:41,901 --> 00:18:43,037
And you know why?
280
00:18:43,099 --> 00:18:46,906
Because-- italics -- this night did not happen.
281
00:18:46,968 --> 00:18:50,000
You promise me you will never, ever, ever tell
282
00:18:50,077 --> 00:18:52,733
another living soul what transpired here tonight.
283
00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:54,285
- You promise.
- All right.
284
00:18:54,336 --> 00:18:55,965
- Promise.
- All right, I promise.
285
00:18:56,022 --> 00:18:57,731
- Get Marshall and go, okay?
- All right.
286
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,706
Hey, thanks for saving my night.
287
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,031
I'll talk to you soon?
288
00:19:02,346 --> 00:19:04,397
Um, hey, tip her, Barney.
289
00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:05,642
Why? I didn't check a coat.
290
00:19:05,693 --> 00:19:08,172
And even if I did, on principle, tip jars have become so...
291
00:19:08,182 --> 00:19:10,023
Funny story: Barney was grinding with this girl all night...
292
00:19:10,036 --> 00:19:10,920
Fine!
293
00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:15,923
I learned a new trick.
294
00:19:28,908 --> 00:19:31,883
So, Marshall and Lily rediscovered their youth.
295
00:19:32,398 --> 00:19:33,500
It was nice.
296
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,954
And then it got... icky.
297
00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:50,245
I'm really glad you guys came out tonight.
298
00:19:52,215 --> 00:19:54,671
You know, dude, can I just say something?
299
00:19:55,823 --> 00:19:58,926
It kind of hurt that you guys didn't invite me out.
300
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:02,659
I mean, I know things have changed since I got engaged,
301
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,932
but it would have been nice to be asked!
302
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,888
I'm sorry! I just assumed...
303
00:20:06,948 --> 00:20:09,469
They played some good songs tonight!
304
00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:11,404
I mean, lately...
305
00:20:11,415 --> 00:20:16,601
I know, I know. It just seems like suddenly we're living in two different worlds.
306
00:20:16,897 --> 00:20:19,187
Maybe you've got more in common with Barney.
307
00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:20,134
What?
308
00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:22,453
Are you crazy?
309
00:20:22,541 --> 00:20:24,849
You think I like going to those clubs?
310
00:20:24,911 --> 00:20:28,183
I'd so much rather go to your fruity little wine tasting.
311
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,790
Oh, God, I'm gonna barf.
312
00:20:29,927 --> 00:20:31,776
Where's my purse? Where's my purse?
313
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,154
I'm okay.
314
00:20:34,654 --> 00:20:39,718
The problem is, you can't do any of that couple stuff unless you have someone to do it with,
315
00:20:39,778 --> 00:20:42,257
and the only way I'm gonna find that someone is by going out
316
00:20:42,319 --> 00:20:44,705
and doing stupid single stuff with Barney.
317
00:20:44,752 --> 00:20:45,698
What?
318
00:20:47,491 --> 00:20:53,808
But, man, when I find her, we're gonna have some bad-ass wine tastings.
319
00:20:53,906 --> 00:20:55,236
It's a plan.
320
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,067
Hey, maybe it'll be that cute coat check girl.
321
00:20:59,139 --> 00:21:00,120
Yeah!
322
00:21:00,382 --> 00:21:01,913
Maybe it will be.
323
00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:03,454
It wasn't.
324
00:21:05,754 --> 00:21:09,414
You know, Ted, I don't say this nearly enough, but I really...
325
00:21:09,427 --> 00:21:11,733
That place has great salads!
326
00:21:20,289 --> 00:21:24,266
Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team
www.forom.com
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
24909
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.