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1
00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:29,155
B e n d e r: "Free beer"?
2
00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:34,785
Free beer. Free beer.
3
00:00:35,119 --> 00:00:36,454
Free beer. Free beer.
4
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:39,373
Free beer, beer, beer, beer,
beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer!
5
00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:40,625
Free...
6
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,349
Ah!
7
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:59,018
Hello. I'm here
for the free beer.
8
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,561
You got it.
9
00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:03,189
Right after these
800 people get it.
10
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,567
Beer, beer-beer, beer, beer.
11
00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:08,486
Beer?
12
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,990
Ah... yeah!
13
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,077
Thank you,
headless clone of agnew.
14
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,662
My fellow earthicans,
15
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,831
I'm proud to announce
I'm running for reelection
16
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:24,710
as president of earth, the
greatest planet in the world.
17
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,254
All: Yeah!
18
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,173
Is everyone enjoying
their free beer?
19
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,633
All: Yeah!
20
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,345
Well, there's plenty more
where that came from.
21
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,932
We're all out of beer.
22
00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:43,354
All right, listen up, nitwits.
23
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:47,692
Who here is tired of illegal space
aliens taking our good earth jobs?
24
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,571
Me, too. So, if I'm reelected,
25
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:55,866
I promise to build
a really big Dyson fence
26
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,452
across the southern border
of our solar system.
27
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:04,583
And furthermore, by golly, I
promise to cut taxes for the rich
28
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:08,546
and use the poor as a cheap
source of teeth for aquarium gravel.
29
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,173
Yeah! That'll show those poor!
30
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,884
Why are you cheering, fry?
You're not rich.
31
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,137
True, but someday
I might be rich.
32
00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:19,515
And then people like me
better watch their step.
33
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,017
Let's just find bender.
34
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:28,065
Ah, that hit the spot.
35
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,650
I found bender!
36
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:36,449
Good news, everyone.
37
00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:38,367
What? I've repaired myself
38
00:02:38,451 --> 00:02:42,330
with these convenient "reelect
Nixon" ass stickers. Go, Nixon!
39
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:45,666
Bender, you can't even vote.
You're a convicted felon.
40
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,210
Convicted, sentenced
and executed.
41
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:51,088
But Nixon passed a law
thatsays ex-cons can vote again
42
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,590
as long as they vote for Nixon.
43
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:56,886
But Nixon's the worst president
in history and alternate history.
44
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,013
The rest of you aren't
voting for him, are you?
45
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,348
Sure, we are! Why not?
46
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,141
He may not be perfect,
47
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,685
but do we really want
some unknown new guy?
48
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:08,022
I'll stick with the evil
maniac I know, thank you.
49
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,774
Well, I think we can do better.
50
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,860
This year, I'm going to get
involved in the political process
51
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,904
and make my voice heard.
52
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,739
What?
53
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,373
Welcome to debate 3012,
54
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:30,044
the 3,012th debate
of the 3012 election year.
55
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,921
We have a crowded
field of candidates,
56
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,548
so I will dispense with
the informal terrorizing
57
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:35,966
and begin the questions.
58
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,968
Is this the political process?
59
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,595
'Cause I'm here to
get involved in it.
60
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:40,971
Shence!
61
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:46,560
Question one. Will you pledge
today to somehow reduce taxes
62
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,896
while simultaneously
lowering the deficit?
63
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,940
Hey, that's a good idea. Sure.
64
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,983
If it'll win me
the election, then yes.
65
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,320
We have a saying up in Alaska.
66
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,696
That's all.
67
00:03:58,864 --> 00:03:59,990
Senator Travers?
68
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:03,452
Look, let's be honest here.
No one likes taxes,
69
00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:07,665
but they pay for our basic
needs. Roads, schools, defense.
70
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:11,335
If we hope to realize our
aspirations as a great planet,
71
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:15,714
we must each pay our fair share
to achieve those noble goals.
72
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,850
Thank you, senator. A
thoughtful and lucid answer.
73
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,643
You will be destroyed!
74
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:30,771
Question two. The
environment. Yes or no?
75
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,648
No. It's junk science.
76
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,775
Two words. Condor attack.
77
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,610
Don't want that. Got to say no.
78
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:40,030
Now, just a minute.
These are important issues.
79
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,158
We can't just
reduce them to sound bytes.
80
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,120
According to
reputable scientists...
81
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,124
Enviromite!
82
00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:02,094
Hello? I'd like to volunteer.
Is anyone lurking?
83
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,308
Hey, stop that.
84
00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,227
Senator Travers?
85
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,104
That's no way
to win an election.
86
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,483
I give up. No one
cares about my message.
87
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,694
I never should have used the
same PR guy as one hour hot dog.
88
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:23,491
People will wait
for something good.
89
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,159
No, don't quit.
90
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,077
You have great ideas.
91
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,497
You just need to get them
out there with social media.
92
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,542
Look, I posted your
debate video on facebag.
93
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,836
10,000 views?
94
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,380
That's more than most
water-skiing squirrels get.
95
00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:40,216
You really think
I have a chance?
96
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:41,717
Absolutely.
97
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,636
We just need to
conceal your intelligence
98
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,180
and honesty in a hipper,
dumber package.
99
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,349
Well, what have I got to lose?
100
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,935
I'm making you
my new campaign manager.
101
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,019
You, out!
102
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:56,106
You haven't heard the last of...
103
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,030
As the Iowa caucus approaches,
104
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:07,576
the state's hippest citizens turned
out for an old-fashioned flash mob.
105
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:11,580
Morbo: Chris Travers got a bump
in the New Hampshire polls today,
106
00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:15,751
where he simuldined in 250
diners at once via hologram.
107
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,712
This pie at this diner
is the best pie.
108
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:25,344
Linda: Chris Travers wins the
south California primary handily,
109
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:28,639
thanks to a series of
well-placed cameo appearances.
110
00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,642
Morbo: Super Tuesday
is in the books,
111
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:35,813
with eurasia, Australia and
Kentucky turning out in big numbers.
112
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,314
With the race a dead heat,
113
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:40,484
it's all come down to a
final tally at the convention.
114
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,394
Calculon:
And the first runner-up,
115
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:53,122
who will take over if the nominee
is caught with a dead girl, a live boy
116
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,416
or any kind of sexy ghost,
117
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,084
Mr. Greenland!
118
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,340
Which means
our nominee is the senator
119
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:06,135
from the nation-state of Hawaii,
120
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,886
Chris Travers!
121
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,932
He won the nomination!
122
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,767
We, the people, did it!
123
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:16,770
It wasn't "we, the people,"
it was you, the mutant.
124
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:19,440
Your insightful nagging
really won us over.
125
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,567
Yeah. You explained
his positions
126
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,861
in a way even
an idiot could understand.
127
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,322
And that appealed to me,
for whatever reason.
128
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,991
Thanks, guys, but we have
a lot of work ahead of us.
129
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,618
If we're going
to win the election,
130
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,369
we've all got to get involved.
131
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,288
You said it! That's right.
132
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,040
If you want my opinion,
133
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,292
Nixon's only chance
to defeat Travers
134
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,711
is with filthy lies,
dirty tricks
135
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,297
and good old quaker thuggery.
136
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,133
And I'm just
the guy for the job.
137
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,524
I'm not sure if it's safe to
talk. Are you wearing a wire?
138
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:03,901
I'm 40% wire.
139
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:05,569
Excellent. Now, listen.
140
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,696
We got to get some dirt
on this Travers guy.
141
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,406
Really mcgovern him up.
142
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:10,770
You know who
mcgovern was, right?
143
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,743
I don't even know who you are.
144
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:23,796
Hello, dirt.
145
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:27,424
I'll start at "n"
for nude pictures.
146
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,594
Aw, nobel prize? That's no good.
147
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,430
How about "a" for adultery?
148
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,517
What? Straight-a transcript?
149
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:39,853
Travers:
Hey, what's that rifling sound?
150
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,105
Uh-oh.
151
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,710
All right. I'm going to
catch Travers on video
152
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,795
at this sleazy strip club.
153
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,799
Bender: In and out of the club
13 times in one night.
154
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,051
That's a record.
Where's Travers?
155
00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,928
All I see is you
going in and out.
156
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,638
Yeah, me. I set the record.
157
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,143
This is as useless as those
pictures you photoshopped.
158
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,854
Look, just give me one
more chance. I got a source.
159
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:25,816
Well, you did manage to get
a tremendous urine sample.
160
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,110
Let's not talk about that.
161
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,577
Is that you, big throat?
162
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,287
In the flesh.
163
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,623
Listen, I need some dirt
on senator Chris Travers.
164
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,083
How quaint.
165
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:48,213
Butlsuppose I should do my
part for political intercourse.
166
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:51,633
Come closer,
and I'll expose what I know.
167
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:53,677
There's nothing.
168
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,764
He's as clean as
a freshly waxed buttock.
169
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,932
Hey! Did you put
your tongue in my ear?
170
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,351
Certainly not.
I don't have a tongue.
171
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,437
Oh, good.
'Cause I don't have an ear.
172
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:07,608
Come on, come on, fall.
173
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,443
Fall, damn it, fall!
174
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,612
Well?
What did you get on Travers?
175
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,948
Is he a draft dodger?
Sex offender? Sex dodger?
176
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,533
Nada. He's clean.
177
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,161
I'm sorry, but there's
not one unusual thing
178
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,538
about senator
Chris zaxxar Travers.
179
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,500
Wait, wait.
His middle name is zaxxar?
180
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,043
Sounds kind of alien.
181
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,294
The voters hate aliens.
182
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,339
They sure do, but this
guy's as human as you or me.
183
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,676
I don't care what he is. We'll
start a rumor that he's an alien.
184
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,970
Hey, yeah.
That'll cost him votes.
185
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,139
Then, when he says
he was born on this planet,
186
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,391
we make him cough up
his earth certificate.
187
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,602
Keep it on the news,
put him on the defensive.
188
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:49,066
Oh, this is sneaky. I feel a
jowl movement coming on.
189
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,196
And that's how you end hunger.
190
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,823
Does anyone have any questions?
191
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,991
I do, I do! Me, bender!
192
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,744
Yes, the robot with the
megaphone jumping up and down.
193
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:06,166
I have a question for
senator c. Zaxxar Travers.
194
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,004
Tell me, zaxxar,
195
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,340
were you even born on earth?
196
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,260
Because the earth
constitution clearly states
197
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,388
that only people born
on earth can be president.
198
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,849
Isn't that right,
justice Ruth bader ginsburg?
199
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,268
You Ruth bader believe it!
200
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:25,644
But I...
201
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,521
Of course I was born on earth.
202
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,189
Oh, really?
203
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:32,609
Then we voters demand you
release your earth certificate
204
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,486
so I can then claim it's a fake.
205
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,531
I'm not going to dignify
this preposterous charge.
206
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,283
Are there any realquesfions?
207
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,535
Scoop Chang,
fox quote-unquote news.
208
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,287
Senator, in the last 10 seconds,
209
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,664
I've heard reports you
weren't actually born on earth.
210
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,374
Care to evade these
compelling charges?
211
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,293
No. I mean, yes.
212
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,627
I mean...
213
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,466
Okay, let's nip this
earther movement in the bud
214
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,135
by releasing your
earth certificate.
215
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,219
Where were you born?
216
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,138
Our lady of patriotism hospital.
217
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,307
Patriotism, good. Where is it?
218
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,559
Kenya. Cradle of humanity.
219
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:09,354
Leela, this is just a stupid
distraction from the issues.
220
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,357
Please don't look for
my earth certificate.
221
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,860
Hey! That was
my favorite window.
222
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,528
Ibefiersee what they want.
223
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,572
We want an earthling,
224
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,782
not a dirty space thing!
225
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:22,492
Why are you rednecks doing this?
226
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,244
Leela, don't stereotype.
227
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,455
Why are you yokels doing this?
228
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,458
I may be just
a backwoods septic tank,
229
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,419
but I've had it up to here
with you foreigners.
230
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,296
But I come from earth.
231
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,132
Then show us your
earth whatchacallit.
232
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:40,719
Long-form certificate
of live birth.
233
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,763
What would it take
to convince you people?
234
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,973
Would I have to have been born
right before your eyes?
235
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:46,433
It wouldn't hurts.
236
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,768
Hit it, rubes!
237
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,853
We don't want a foreigner!
238
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,813
We want someone born here!
239
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,232
Eh, I'm still
working on that one.
240
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:57,319
What's wrong with you?
241
00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,238
Why are you sabotaging a
decent, honest candidate?
242
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:03,492
'Cause they won't let me near
the hoover dam anymore. Ooh!
243
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,661
What a bunch of xenophobes.
244
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:08,163
It's time to find senator
Travers' earth certificate
245
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,831
and put an end to this nonsense.
246
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,459
Who wants to help me break
into the hospital in Kenya?
247
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,963
I'll come. As long as
there's no xenophobes there.
248
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,716
I want to come, too. You? Why?
249
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,261
To prove that I can put
divisive partisan politics aside
250
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,263
to participate in a break-in.
251
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:38,860
Hosphalho!
252
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,338
Shh!
253
00:13:58,422 --> 00:14:00,424
It's a herd of night watchmen.
254
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,975
I found it!
255
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,272
I don't understand. There's
no earth certificate in here.
256
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,523
Travers: No, there isn't.
257
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,695
I told you not to look.
258
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,947
So, you're not
from earth after all.
259
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,574
Of course I'm from earth.
260
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,285
Wait a second.
There's no earth certificate,
261
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,162
but it does say your
mother was admitted
262
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,539
to the maternity ward.
This morning!
263
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,627
I should have known the truth
would come out sooner or later.
264
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,423
The fact is,
I really was born on earth
265
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:42,591
tomorrow.
266
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,343
You see,
I'm not from another planet.
267
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,179
I'm from the future.
268
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,700
This is crazy.
You're from the future?
269
00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:11,495
Yes. I was sent back
from the year 3028
270
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,163
to prevent Nixon
from getting elected.
271
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:15,707
I was sent forward
from the year 2000,
272
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:18,085
but you don't hear me
gassing on about it.
273
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,879
But why would it be so
important to stop Nixon?
274
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,007
Because of the horrific events
he's going to set in motion.
275
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,467
Oh, god.
276
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,511
I can't bring myself
to describe it.
277
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,644
Oh, well. Want to hear
about how I got frozen?
278
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:31,890
Not really.
279
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,810
It all started
with Nixon's promise
280
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,687
to build an alien-proof fence
around the solar system.
281
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:41,399
Without cheap alien labor for
menial jobs like harvesting crops,
282
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:42,776
teaching math,
283
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,779
and curing disease,
the economy collapsed.
284
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,866
Starvation.
Desperation. Despair.
285
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,993
So far, so good. Then what?
286
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,788
Travers: Unable to feed
the world's starving masses,
287
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,581
Nixon took bold action.
288
00:15:56,832 --> 00:16:00,585
In this time of crisis,
I call upon the soernt...
289
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,629
I mean, silent majority.
290
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,639
Still good.
291
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,432
Travers: With the
working class gone,
292
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,561
robots were forced
to do all the menial labor.
293
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,316
Before long,
they Rose up in revolt...
294
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:33,577
Led by a bending unit
named b.B. Rodriguez.
295
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:40,417
Bender: Wait... I know a robot
named b.B. Rodriguez!
296
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:44,171
Wait... I am a robot
named b.B. Rodriguez.
297
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,922
So, I become ruler of earth?
298
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,174
Indeed.
299
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,093
Yes! In your face, high
school guidance counselor.
300
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:54,014
Travers: The robots crushed our
most treasured monuments and celebrities,
301
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:56,808
but they couldn't
crush the human spirit.
302
00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:58,059
We went into hiding,
303
00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:01,521
and after careful research,
located a xeroxed copy
304
00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:04,274
of an ancient time travel code.
305
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:05,942
Though I was only 15,
306
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:09,529
mankind entrusted me with
its last remaining suit and tie
307
00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,364
and sent me back in time.
308
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,200
I would be raised
by my grandparents,
309
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,076
somehow get into
Harvard law school,
310
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,287
become a community organizer,
a senator,
311
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,663
and finally,
312
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,582
defeat Richard Nixon.
313
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,754
I escaped just as
the robots arrived.
314
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,175
All right, I'm low on bullets.
Everybody, scooch together.
315
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:33,011
It's not too late. You
can still win the election.
316
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,472
No, I can't.
The earthers are right.
317
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,182
I have no earth certificate.
318
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,935
But you will have one
in just a few hours.
319
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,770
And everyone
will know it's real,
320
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,981
'cause we'll broadcast
your birth on live TV.
321
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,818
If it's on TV,
it has to be real.
322
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,573
Morbo interrupts
bowling for quatloos
323
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:57,827
to present breaking coverage of
the birth of senator Chris Travers.
324
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,247
We now go live to
the delivery room,
325
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,165
where we're already at there.
326
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,546
Back, please. She needs room.
327
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,298
Thanks. Not you.
328
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:11,967
The camerawoman needs room.
329
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,969
This is it,
ladies and gentlemen.
330
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,303
The candidate is...
331
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,222
I believe he's crowning!
332
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,599
Push, mom, push. You can do it.
333
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,978
I bet nothing comes out.
Just you watch.
334
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,771
Here comes the head.
335
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,356
And now the neck.
336
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,858
Linda,
I'm down here at the pelvis,
337
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,070
and folks round these parts
can't remember the last time
338
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:36,074
a time-traveling senator
attended his own birth. Back to you.
339
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:39,035
Thanks, morbo.
You be careful down there.
340
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,872
Linda: And the
candidate is born!
341
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,835
We have a birth.
Repeat, we have a birth.
342
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,215
He's got his own eyes.
343
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,467
Well, who'd have thunk it?
344
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:58,096
He was born all right,
just like he said.
345
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,775
And with the polls now closed
in every time zone worldwide,
346
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,820
from tomorrow/and
to the republic of yesterday,
347
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,572
we are able to declare a winner.
348
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,533
Chris Travers,
who leapt backwards in time
349
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,870
and ahead in the polls,
has defeated Richard Nixon.
350
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,957
Leela: He did it! He did it!
351
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,794
Yes! Congratulations,
Mr. President.
352
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,504
It's all thanks to you, Leela.
353
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:34,883
You stood by me and exposed
my private medical records,
354
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,676
even after I begged you not to.
355
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,178
Aw, thanks.
356
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:41,514
Now, get up to that podium
and change the world.
357
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,933
Too bad your pal
Nixon lost, bender.
358
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,643
You must be pretty glorked off.
359
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:48,480
Nope. I don't give a bag of
butts who won the election.
360
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:49,689
Nothing's going to change.
361
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,858
What? How can you say that?
362
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,943
Watch and learn.
363
00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,864
My fellow earthicans,
364
00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:01,117
I am honored and humbled
to stand before you tonight
365
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,119
as your next president.
366
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,788
Together, we will...
367
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,373
Hey, what's going on?
368
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,083
What's happening?
369
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,878
You see, since
Nixon wasn't elected,
370
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,880
the robot uprising didn't happen
371
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,549
and Travers never got
sent back from the future.
372
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,676
It's politics 101.
373
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,475
And the votes are in.
374
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,602
Richard Nixon,
running unopposed,
375
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:30,480
has been reelected
by a narrow landslide.
376
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,647
Say what?
377
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,525
My fellow earthicans,
378
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,736
I am honored and humbled
to gloat before you tonight
379
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:39,197
as your next president.
380
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,826
Wow, it really doesn't
matter who you vote for.
381
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:46,371
At least we tried to make a
difference by supporting senator...
382
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:48,123
Senator...
383
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,541
What was his name again?
384
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:50,875
I don't remember.
385
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,794
We never even
left this building.
386
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:53,878
What?
387
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:57,424
Nixon always wins!
27448
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