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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:18,460 Okay, the final lesson in the shooting and 2 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:21,140 setup module, get fit, get closer. 3 00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,680 You may have already noticed how often I 4 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,800 mention the phrases such as, work the scene, 5 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:29,380 maximise every opportunity from every moment, keep moving, 6 00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:32,580 keep shooting, and that's really because I see 7 00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:34,180 every wedding as an opportunity. 8 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,060 It's an opportunity to capture the best images 9 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:40,000 I possibly can for my couple, the unexpected 10 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,740 images that may feature in my portfolio or 11 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:43,880 help raise my profile. 12 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,440 If I'm not completely focused and switched on 13 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,460 for every minute of a wedding day, I 14 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:50,960 risk missing those opportunities. 15 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,100 It is also worth noting that you can 16 00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,700 be the most creatively minded photographer out there, 17 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,680 but without a strong work ethic, it all 18 00:00:58,680 --> 00:00:59,960 goes to waste when you're at a wedding. 19 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,780 And that's why I decided five years ago 20 00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:05,900 when I delivered my very first workshop to 21 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,040 make sure that I illustrated the importance and 22 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,780 benefit of fitness and generally just taking care 23 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:13,480 of yourself and how that can directly influence 24 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,800 the images you create. 25 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,960 Now, I know you didn't sign up to 26 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,140 this course to be preached to. 27 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,740 I'm not going to sit here and say, 28 00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:22,160 get your ass in gear, start looking after 29 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:22,540 yourself. 30 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,520 If you don't understand the benefits of fitness 31 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,400 and diet on your mental health and general 32 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,260 wellbeing, where have you been for the last 33 00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:29,920 15 years? 34 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,320 All I can do here and all I 35 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,240 plan to do is tell you about my 36 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,640 experience and how making a few adjustments to 37 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,060 my lifestyle positively impacted my work as a 38 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:43,120 photographer and in turn, the success of my 39 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:43,560 business. 40 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:47,280 So as of right now in 2021, I'm 41 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,280 37 years old. 42 00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:51,000 I've never had serious health issues, touch wood. 43 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,160 I've been fortunate to always be very slim. 44 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,820 I have twiglets for arms, but for the 45 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:59,400 majority of my twenties, I was seriously unfit. 46 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,500 I never maintained any fitness level. 47 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,540 I may have a two or three week 48 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,480 spell when I'd go out running, but all 49 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:06,900 it would take was a big night out 50 00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:07,979 or a bout of cold. 51 00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:10,020 And that would soon stop for a few 52 00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:10,420 months. 53 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,260 Then the cycle of feeling like I need 54 00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:13,920 to get in shape would start over. 55 00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:16,260 When I was 29, we had our daughter 56 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,560 Betsy and at 32, we had Buddy, our 57 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:18,780 son. 58 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:22,080 Now, sometimes having children spurs people on to 59 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,260 take greater care of themselves. 60 00:02:23,820 --> 00:02:25,360 But for me, the trigger was a little 61 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:25,740 different. 62 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,820 I was focused on being busy, growing my 63 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:30,640 business and shooting as much as I could. 64 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,020 I was doing 50 plus weddings a year, 65 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:34,980 but in the summer of 2015, I was 66 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:35,540 close to burnout. 67 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,780 I had a weekend where I had the 68 00:02:37,780 --> 00:02:40,400 dreaded triple header, a wedding on a Friday, 69 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,460 Saturday and a Sunday. 70 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,840 And it was at the Sunday wedding, I 71 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,300 realised something needed to change. 72 00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:48,880 It was the sit down dinner and I 73 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:49,980 was told by the staff that I could 74 00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:51,760 sit in this particular room and a dinner 75 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,640 would be brought to me. 76 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:53,560 Winner, right? 77 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:56,320 I sat down and I fell asleep. 78 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,600 I woke up with a plate of food 79 00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,240 in front of me. 80 00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:01,300 A member of staff had just left me 81 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:04,020 sleeping and placed the food on the table. 82 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,480 Now, nothing bad happened. 83 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:07,900 I didn't miss anything. 84 00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,060 The bride and groom never knew, but it 85 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:11,940 was a stark realisation that I needed to 86 00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:12,640 make some changes. 87 00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:14,680 I was completely knackered. 88 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:16,820 I'd regularly wake up after a wedding and 89 00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:18,140 feel like I'd been hit by a car. 90 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,860 My lower back was always sore and if 91 00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,380 you've ever experienced back pain, you'll know how 92 00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:24,840 debilitating it can be. 93 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,740 So at the start of 2016, I made 94 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,220 a conscious decision to make fitness part of 95 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:30,680 my job. 96 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:33,660 Like I do emails and social media, I 97 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,340 was going to make a commitment to make 98 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,280 it part of my day. 99 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,860 In the January, I booked a block of 100 00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:39,940 10 sessions with this guy. 101 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:43,580 This is Craig, former British military and protector 102 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:44,080 of the seas. 103 00:03:44,460 --> 00:03:46,620 He worked on cargo ships to police them 104 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:47,360 from pirates. 105 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,020 Anyway, he just so happened to be starting 106 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:52,360 his PT business in the gym below my 107 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:52,680 office. 108 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,620 And it is without doubt the best investment 109 00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:56,820 I've ever made in myself. 110 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,880 Five years later and I still see Craig 111 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:00,920 every Monday. 112 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,340 You often hear photographers talk about new camera 113 00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:06,680 releases and the marginal gains in technology that 114 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,900 buying the latest camera will get them. 115 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,440 We've already addressed that on this course, right? 116 00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,300 But how many talk about the marginal gains 117 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:16,399 you get from fitness, the gains that allow 118 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:18,980 you to shoot at a higher intensity for 119 00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:20,160 longer periods of time? 120 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,620 Very few, but it does. 121 00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:24,360 It has a huge impact. 122 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,360 Weddings are physically demanding. 123 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,320 So I see Craig once a week without 124 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:29,720 fail. 125 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,060 He hammers me. 126 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,160 But unlike pre 2016, I have someone to 127 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,040 hold me to account. 128 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,480 I can't take three months off because I 129 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,180 see him once a week and I attribute 130 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:41,120 the success of my business to a few 131 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,460 key factors, all of which are addressed on 132 00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:43,960 this course. 133 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,200 But this is absolutely one of them. 134 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,160 My recovery time is better. 135 00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:50,780 I can maintain a high intensity of shooting 136 00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:53,460 for 12 hours plus, not to mention just 137 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,120 feeling better. 138 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,020 The influence it has on my kids. 139 00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:58,460 But here's the impact that I hope you 140 00:04:58,460 --> 00:04:59,500 can start to recognize. 141 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,100 This is Josh and Elsa, a wedding I 142 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,020 shot in Puglia, Italy at the end of 143 00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:05,680 the wedding season in 2018. 144 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:08,880 So usually this is a time we're all 145 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,020 completely burnt out, right? 146 00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:11,440 It's been a long summer. 147 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,360 We all just want to stop and take 148 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:13,780 a break. 149 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,600 The editing pile is huge and it's another 150 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,860 wedding you've got to deal with. 151 00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:20,200 Creativity levels are rock bottom. 152 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:20,900 You are done. 153 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:22,440 I've been there. 154 00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:23,140 I've done that. 155 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,720 Well, that isn't the case for me anymore. 156 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,740 In fact, now it's quite the opposite. 157 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,500 I don't feel that slump. 158 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,520 This was a 9am start in Italy, a 159 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,440 crazy, crazy day. 160 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,580 And as you can see, absolutely hammered it 161 00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:35,760 down. 162 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,620 It was frantic. 163 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:38,540 There were times it was so wet I 164 00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,200 couldn't even see what I was shooting through 165 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:40,780 the viewfinder. 166 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,640 By dinner at 5pm, I'd taken about 8 167 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:44,580 -9,000 frames. 168 00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:47,100 And remember that time I fell asleep during 169 00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:47,360 dinner? 170 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:48,620 Not this time. 171 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,620 I used to take a full hour to 172 00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:51,420 two hours break. 173 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:54,060 Now I eat my food and I'm straight 174 00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:54,660 back to it. 175 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,860 Because this can happen. 176 00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,620 Josh hugging his parents during dinner service. 177 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,240 This isn't an image that will win me 178 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,020 an award, but it's a powerful frame and 179 00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:07,280 makes Josh and his parents feel something. 180 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,900 It makes me feel something. 181 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,420 And from the same position I took that 182 00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:14,100 frame, over my right shoulder I took this. 183 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,540 This was that guest at a wedding who 184 00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,520 would not for the life of me let 185 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,320 me get his picture. 186 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,980 Every time the camera was in his direction, 187 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:22,720 he'd turn away. 188 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:24,920 But with a crafty live view shot from 189 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,280 behind someone's shoulder, I have him with his 190 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:27,580 daughter. 191 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,340 Two very small moments, but to the people 192 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:32,400 in them, these are huge and invaluable frames. 193 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,820 If I was resting in another room and 194 00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:37,040 scrolling Facebook on my phone, would I have 195 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:37,580 these images? 196 00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:38,520 No. 197 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,920 Now it's gone midnight, the dance floor is 198 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,780 emptying and there's a frame of Josh with 199 00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:44,120 his brother. 200 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,720 I don't have a frame of these guys 201 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,720 like this at any other point during the 202 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:48,920 day. 203 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,880 Relaxed, smiling, sharing a moment. 204 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,440 Just really simple, but very powerful. 205 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:56,840 Not every shot has to be a crazy 206 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,640 composition or technically groundbreaking. 207 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,960 Last frame of the night, 1.45 in 208 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:05,380 the morning, 12,000 frames, almost 17 hours 209 00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:05,880 of shooting. 210 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,660 Four years before, that would have been me 211 00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:09,700 six feet under. 212 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,380 But instead, I was at the post-wedding 213 00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,880 barbecue 10 hours later, bright as a button, 214 00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:16,900 buzzing about the previous day's frames. 215 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,280 For the second part of this video, I 216 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,840 want to start off with a quote a 217 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,840 good friend of mine, a super talented photographer 218 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,180 called Chantal Gribbon, shared a while back. 219 00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:27,920 And it said, you've got to be brave 220 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,100 before you can be good. 221 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,320 It's a quote that really resonates with me. 222 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,240 I've always been one of those people who 223 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,320 isn't afraid of failure, even when I feel 224 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,000 out of my depth, which is often. 225 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:41,020 I trust in the process and I'm always 226 00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,480 prepared to give anything a shot. 227 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,860 Now, this story does come with a slight 228 00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:47,920 warning as it centers around baby loss, a 229 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,080 subject that I can absolutely appreciate, can be 230 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,660 very sensitive and difficult for some. 231 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,880 It certainly is for me to discuss. 232 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,280 I should note that there is nothing graphic, 233 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,080 but there's a very good reason I want 234 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,840 to talk about it and a hugely important 235 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,340 lesson I want to share. 236 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,200 And it starts with the amazing P and 237 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,820 Dean or Nicola and Dean. 238 00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:08,840 She's called P because she's small, but don't 239 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:09,540 let that fool you. 240 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,000 This girl is beyond strong and an inspiration. 241 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,100 She's actually the person who actively encouraged me 242 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,680 to talk about this experience. 243 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,340 I've known these guys for the best part 244 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:20,820 of a decade and actually used them for 245 00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,280 a shoot in 2014 to test out some 246 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,760 new lenses, but it's now October, 2015. 247 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:28,700 Buddy had just been born. 248 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,620 He was a month old and P messaged 249 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:32,799 me to tell me they'd just had a 250 00:08:32,799 --> 00:08:35,659 baby boy called Winter, but that tragically Winter 251 00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:38,080 suffered a cardiac arrest shortly after birth and 252 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:38,980 didn't survive. 253 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,320 But the reason for her message was to 254 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,500 ask me if I could come to the 255 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,460 funeral in a few days time and take 256 00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:46,300 some pictures for them. 257 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,780 Now, I remember that message coming in late 258 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,080 at night and I said to Gemma, my 259 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,360 wife, there's no way I can do that. 260 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,480 I get emotional watching friends. 261 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,840 There's no chance I can hold it together 262 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,520 at a newborn's funeral, let alone take images. 263 00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:02,420 I didn't respond. 264 00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:05,060 I slept on it and thought I'll figure 265 00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:07,460 out my response in the morning, but I 266 00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,940 woke up the following day and just said 267 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,440 to myself, okay, you know what? 268 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:13,300 If this is what they want and it 269 00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:15,500 helps them, then I'll get over it and 270 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:16,140 I'll step up. 271 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,600 Now, just to note, I never charged for 272 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:19,900 this. 273 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:23,580 P amazingly, quite incredibly asked me how much 274 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:24,040 it would be. 275 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,780 And I just said, there's no way I'm 276 00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,440 charging anything you wanted to pay. 277 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,820 You can donate to your charity, but please 278 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,460 let people know I'm going to be there, 279 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,800 that you've asked me to be there and 280 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,600 that I'm not charging. 281 00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:35,940 So I did. 282 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,160 I turned up at Winter's funeral without question, 283 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,580 the most difficult day I've ever had in 284 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,220 any kind of professional capacity. 285 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,480 As soon as I parked up and the 286 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,720 car started to arrive, there was a rainbow 287 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,960 over the hills and the opening 10 to 288 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,280 15 minutes were beyond difficult. 289 00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:53,660 If you think taking images as a wedding 290 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,540 can be intimidating, try doing it whilst people 291 00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:56,940 are mourning. 292 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,480 I naturally kept my distance. 293 00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:01,820 I crouched in front of the pews almost 294 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:03,380 out of sight, a position where I could 295 00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:06,000 observe and quietly document the people standing up 296 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:06,480 to talk. 297 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:11,760 But halfway through I found myself thinking I 298 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:12,720 shouldn't be hiding here. 299 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,320 If I'm doing this properly and I'm going 300 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,240 to get the images I know I can 301 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,380 get for these guys, I need to move. 302 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,040 So I waited for a break in the 303 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,360 service, took an inhale, got up and walked 304 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,520 across the room in front of a packed 305 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,680 room and went and stood next to Dean's 306 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,680 mum and to the side of Winter's coffin. 307 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,180 And I don't know if you can relate 308 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,880 to this, but when I would shoot weddings 309 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,980 there was always this invisible wall of fear 310 00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:38,780 that I'd feel. 311 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,540 A sense of anxiety, I'd feel it in 312 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,740 my chest, it would always stop me getting 313 00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:44,940 really close to people. 314 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,740 I'd feel like I was invading someone's space. 315 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,240 So instead, I'd often hang back. 316 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,820 But in the moment I walked across that 317 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,000 room, I didn't realise it at the time, 318 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,900 but that wall of fear disappeared instantly. 319 00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:01,780 Because it will always be this sequence of 320 00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:02,980 images that will stay with me. 321 00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,920 I was crouched next to Dean's mum, I 322 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,720 was sobbing, I'm not ashamed to admit it. 323 00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:09,700 I genuinely couldn't see what I was shooting. 324 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,640 Dean's mum was handing me tissues and checking 325 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,700 if I was okay. 326 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,360 But do you know what? 327 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,820 Going to a wedding after that became a 328 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:19,120 breeze. 329 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,400 That fear did not exist. 330 00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:24,280 I was a totally different person because I 331 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,900 realised that that fear I held before, it 332 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:28,800 was all internal. 333 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,800 It wasn't a problem to anyone else. 334 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,120 No one cares what you're doing so long 335 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,640 as you do it with a smile and 336 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:35,420 have some respect. 337 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,980 And my work changed overnight. 338 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,340 It wasn't in a bad place before that, 339 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,040 but the small realisation had a profound impact 340 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,340 on the way I worked a scene. 341 00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:48,120 No longer would I hang around the edges 342 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:48,660 of a crowd. 343 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,780 I suddenly wanted to be in the mix. 344 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,700 And I started to get close. 345 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,600 I wasn't fearful of stepping in to intimate 346 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,140 moments. 347 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,580 I constantly looked for connections and interactions. 348 00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:03,700 The 135mm stopped being a lens that I 349 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:04,860 used to shoot from the back of the 350 00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:07,520 room and instead I used it to get 351 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:08,320 in people's faces. 352 00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:12,060 And something like this from 2019 on a 353 00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:12,780 35mm. 354 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,280 I'm close enough to take that beer from 355 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:15,480 him. 356 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,760 And it's another frame that won't win any 357 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,260 award, but this became my bread and butter. 358 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,200 So to wrap this up, it's okay to 359 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,980 shoot the details, but never ever lose sight 360 00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:27,100 of what's really important. 361 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:29,840 Shoot outside of your comfort zone. 362 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,140 Push through that fear. 363 00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:34,100 Combine it all with taking care of yourself. 364 00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:37,320 Feeling fitter and stronger and your work will 365 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,940 only go in one direction. 366 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:43,420 Finally, before we go, here's P and Dean 367 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,180 now with their beautiful little family. 25097

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