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1
00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:11,421
[Frank] Now, nobody's saying the
Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden,
2
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:14,101
but it's been a good home to us, to me,
3
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:18,140
Frank Gallagher, and me kids,
who I'm proud of,
4
00:00:18,221 --> 00:00:22,061
'cause every single one of them
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:23,381
-They can all think...
-[all gasp]
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00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:24,381
...for themselves,
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00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:25,901
which they have me to thank for.
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00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:27,780
-[Carl] Run! Run for it!
-[Lip] Quick! Leg it!
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00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:30,181
[Frank] Fiona, who's a massive help.
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00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:35,301
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which
is why nobody calls him Phillip anymore.
11
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:38,461
Ian, a lot like his mam,
which is handy for the others,
12
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,381
'cause she's disappeared into thin air.
13
00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:42,860
And Carl, we daren't let him
grow his hair, for two reasons.
14
00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:44,181
-One, it stands on end...
-[barking]
15
00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:45,900
...and makes him look like Toyah.
16
00:00:45,981 --> 00:00:48,101
-Two, nits love him.
-[screams] No!
17
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,741
[Frank] Debbie, sent by God, total angel.
18
00:00:50,821 --> 00:00:54,300
You've to check your change, but she'll go
miles out of the way to do you a favour.
19
00:00:54,381 --> 00:00:59,421
Plus, Liam, gonna be a star.
Once we've got the fits under control.
20
00:00:59,501 --> 00:01:00,501
[screams]
21
00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:03,781
[Frank] Sheila, me bird.
Couldn't be happier.
22
00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:06,301
One plate short of a full set, like.
23
00:01:06,381 --> 00:01:08,981
Fantastic neighbours,
Kev and Veronica.
24
00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:11,181
Lend you anything.
Well, not anything.
25
00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:15,060
But all of them, to a man know,
first and foremost,
26
00:01:15,181 --> 00:01:18,060
one of the most vital
necessities in this life,
27
00:01:18,341 --> 00:01:20,981
is they know
how to throw a party!
28
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:23,541
[Frank laughing] Scatter!
29
00:01:25,261 --> 00:01:26,101
Cunt!
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00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:29,621
[Debbie] Psychologists believe
that those to whom evil is done
31
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:30,860
do evil in return.
32
00:01:31,101 --> 00:01:32,541
-Pig scum!
-[laughter]
33
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:34,981
-In you go.
-Get in.
34
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,941
No. No. No!
35
00:01:37,021 --> 00:01:38,700
No!
36
00:01:39,301 --> 00:01:41,341
[Debbie] But I prefer
an old Indian proverb...
37
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:44,621
"Those who bring happiness
into the lives of others...
38
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,860
cannot keep it from themselves."
39
00:01:48,941 --> 00:01:53,140
-[grunts, pants]
-[door opens]
40
00:01:54,301 --> 00:01:56,500
Marty, how is looking at that
gonna keep you out of prison?
41
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,140
Get dressed. We've got work to do.
42
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,541
-Are you ready yet?
-[Marty] I'm coming!
43
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:11,060
[gags]
44
00:02:11,901 --> 00:02:15,781
[retches, coughs]
45
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,061
If I've got morning breath,
you could've just said.
46
00:02:25,141 --> 00:02:26,301
[groans, sighs]
47
00:02:28,421 --> 00:02:29,341
You okay?
48
00:02:29,621 --> 00:02:32,061
[inhales deeply] I can't smoke.
I can't drink.
49
00:02:32,701 --> 00:02:34,621
And every morning, I'm hugging porcelain.
50
00:02:34,901 --> 00:02:36,701
How can they call this natural?
51
00:02:37,941 --> 00:02:40,661
Listen. If you want to forget
about going away this weekend...
52
00:02:40,941 --> 00:02:42,581
[scoffs] No chance.
53
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:44,141
If I'm gonna be puking me guts up,
54
00:02:44,221 --> 00:02:46,341
I may as well be doing it
somewhere beautiful.
55
00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:49,301
-Oh, God.
-[groans, vomits]
56
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:53,861
[cutlery clattering]
57
00:02:54,501 --> 00:02:57,941
A romantic trip away.
Oh, I'm envious.
58
00:02:58,021 --> 00:03:00,421
Yeah? Well, you can't come
'cause it's just me and her.
59
00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:01,621
[Carol] Where is he taking you?
60
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,181
Don't know, Carol. It's a surprise.
61
00:03:04,661 --> 00:03:08,061
[Carol] Last time a bloke took me away,
I ended up in a power cut in Rhyl.
62
00:03:08,141 --> 00:03:09,540
It could've been erotic,
63
00:03:09,621 --> 00:03:11,700
had he not insisted
on calling me Cheryl.
64
00:03:11,781 --> 00:03:14,181
-[Fiona chuckles]
-[Carol chuckles]
65
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:18,901
[Craig] All right, smart arse.
Give it back.
66
00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:20,380
-What?
-[Craig] The toast.
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00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,980
I don't know what you're talking about.
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00:03:22,061 --> 00:03:23,901
Come on, Carl. I've got
a learner in half an hour.
69
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,061
[Lip and Carl laugh]
70
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:26,941
[Ian] Are you looking for toast, Craig?
71
00:03:27,581 --> 00:03:28,621
[crunches]
72
00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:30,380
-[Carl laughs]
-[Ian] Mm!
73
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,061
-[boys laughing]
-[Carol] Be nice.
74
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:35,581
[laughter continues]
75
00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:36,820
If anyone laughs, it's coming off.
76
00:03:36,901 --> 00:03:38,621
-[Carol gasps]
-[Debbie] Marty, where's your tie?
77
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,260
I couldn't remember how many times
the fox went 'round the farmyard.
78
00:03:41,781 --> 00:03:43,661
Three and then into its den.
79
00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:46,341
You look great, Marty.
80
00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:49,100
What job is it you got
the interview for, Marty?
81
00:03:49,181 --> 00:03:50,181
Traffic warden.
82
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,501
Council are
an equal opportunities employer.
83
00:03:52,581 --> 00:03:53,820
[Lip] That'll make a change.
84
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,420
Traffic warden calling
the car drivers a cunt.
85
00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:57,901
-[all laugh]
-Sponge cake!
86
00:03:58,741 --> 00:04:00,061
What the fuck was that?
87
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,781
Something we've been working on.
88
00:04:02,221 --> 00:04:04,540
To manage his Tourette's
for the court case,
89
00:04:04,621 --> 00:04:06,621
it's all about replacing
rude words...
90
00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:10,420
with... nicer ones.
91
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,021
-[all] Oh!
-[Lip] Sponge cake.
92
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,941
We're gonna prove
that he's a reformed character.
93
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,540
Don't knock it. I haven't had
a "bucket biff" in days.
94
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:18,461
[all laughing]
95
00:04:18,901 --> 00:04:20,381
What are you up in court for, Marty?
96
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,221
You haven't been setting fire
to things again, have you?
97
00:04:22,301 --> 00:04:23,500
-Shh!
-No!
98
00:04:23,581 --> 00:04:24,581
Weren't even my fault.
99
00:04:24,661 --> 00:04:26,821
It was that stupid bitch
in the post office.
100
00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:28,541
Looking down her nose at me,
making sarky comments
101
00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:31,101
every time I cash me giro.
Stupid-- soft kittens!
102
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:32,341
[Debbie] She needed telling.
103
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,861
It's just a shame they had CCTV.
104
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:38,221
Ever speak to me like that again
and I'll burn your house down!
105
00:04:38,301 --> 00:04:41,021
You evil, ugly, patronising bitch!
106
00:04:41,101 --> 00:04:42,101
[glass shattering]
107
00:04:42,701 --> 00:04:45,141
But once the court see
that you're a respectable,
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00:04:45,221 --> 00:04:46,581
hardworking member of society,
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00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:49,541
they'll have no choice
but acquittal. [chuckles]
110
00:04:51,261 --> 00:04:53,180
-[titters]
-[laughs]
111
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:54,940
[Craig] Time I went, eh?
112
00:04:55,021 --> 00:04:56,701
-Sponge cake!
-[door opening]
113
00:04:58,421 --> 00:05:00,221
-[grunts]
-Hey, hey, hey.
114
00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:01,940
Just let it roll.
115
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:05,500
The more wound up you get,
the more they like it.
116
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:07,740
Hmm?
117
00:05:13,341 --> 00:05:15,581
[Kelly] I'm looking for Kev Ball.
118
00:05:16,221 --> 00:05:19,060
Well, you want next door.
Number six.
119
00:05:19,301 --> 00:05:21,341
Trouble with these houses,
they all look the same.
120
00:05:24,861 --> 00:05:28,141
He's not still shacked up with that
gobby peroxide bitch, is he?
121
00:05:28,981 --> 00:05:30,861
-Veronica.
-[Kelly] Hmm. That's her.
122
00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:32,940
Mouth like the bleedin' Mersey.
123
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:35,500
[cat screeches]
124
00:05:36,141 --> 00:05:37,421
-Who's that?
-Don't know.
125
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,500
[cat continues screeching]
126
00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:40,701
Sooner you and me get some time
to ourselves, the better.
127
00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:42,180
Come here.
128
00:05:51,301 --> 00:05:52,301
Can't believe you're here.
129
00:05:52,901 --> 00:05:56,500
Last I heard, you were in Paphos
with Big Balls Benny.
130
00:05:56,821 --> 00:05:58,421
Ditched him
as soon as I got out there.
131
00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,701
Got myself a nice, little bar job,
132
00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:04,180
apartment on the beach, and as much cock
as I could handle.
133
00:06:04,261 --> 00:06:06,861
-[chuckles]
-Sun, sex, and sangria.
134
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:09,021
-Thought I was in heaven, Kev.
-So, why are you back?
135
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:11,461
Because, blondie...
136
00:06:12,101 --> 00:06:13,101
I fell in love.
137
00:06:13,701 --> 00:06:15,740
Bloke called Jack.
Jack Russell.
138
00:06:15,821 --> 00:06:17,341
You know, like the dog.
139
00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:20,820
And as soon as I set eyes
on him, I knew.
140
00:06:21,301 --> 00:06:23,461
I just knew. Got a light?
141
00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:25,940
[Kev] What happened?
142
00:06:26,541 --> 00:06:27,500
[Kelly exhales]
143
00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:29,701
It's all gone wrong, Kev.
144
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:37,261
[sobs] I'm sorry.
145
00:06:37,341 --> 00:06:38,261
[Kev] Aw.
146
00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:41,581
Hey, come here
and tell your big brother.
147
00:06:43,101 --> 00:06:46,461
[Kelly sniffles, cries]
148
00:06:47,781 --> 00:06:51,620
-He's a fucking junkie.
-Oh, Jesus.
149
00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:55,301
-Not heroin.
-Didn't he watch Grange Hill?
150
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:58,341
I said... "Jack, I love you.
151
00:06:58,981 --> 00:07:01,661
But either it goes, or I do."
152
00:07:01,981 --> 00:07:04,221
[siren wails in distance]
153
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,101
You got any sugar for this?
154
00:07:15,901 --> 00:07:19,021
-No way, Kev. Absolute--
-[shower running]
155
00:07:19,341 --> 00:07:22,221
No way am I having her in my house.
156
00:07:22,421 --> 00:07:24,380
Veronica, she's me little sister.
157
00:07:24,461 --> 00:07:26,060
I can't just chuck her out
on the street!
158
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,541
-All right!
-Oi! Oi! Oi!
159
00:07:27,901 --> 00:07:29,060
Hang on a minute.
160
00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:33,740
The amount of shit that I've had
to put up with, with your family,
161
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,141
with your mother and her fellas
and Marty-- Marty!
162
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:37,620
And his bleeding bonfires.
163
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:41,981
Fair's fair, right?
164
00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:45,701
You can't send her back to a junkie.
165
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,461
A couple of days.
166
00:07:50,781 --> 00:07:52,260
And if she calls me blondie again,
167
00:07:52,661 --> 00:07:53,661
I swear, Kev, I'll--
168
00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:55,901
[grumbles]
169
00:07:58,901 --> 00:07:59,940
[door shuts]
170
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:07,221
[Marty] I'm a good human being
with a great deal to offer.
171
00:08:07,301 --> 00:08:09,661
[chuckles]
I am a good human being
172
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,581
with a great deal to offer.
173
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:16,101
I am a good human being
with a great deal to offer.
174
00:08:16,421 --> 00:08:18,380
-I am a--
-[doorbell dings]
175
00:08:20,141 --> 00:08:22,021
-I am a--
-[doorbell dings]
176
00:08:22,221 --> 00:08:25,940
I am a good human being
with a great deal to offer.
177
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,700
[Sue] Hiya. Uh,
178
00:08:28,781 --> 00:08:30,981
-I was looking for Craig--
-Crackerjack! Sorry.
179
00:08:31,901 --> 00:08:34,580
I'm looking for Craig.
Craig Garland.
180
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:37,781
-This is the right house?
-Yeah. Well, s-- sort of.
181
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:39,661
-But there's no one in.
-Right.
182
00:08:39,741 --> 00:08:43,021
Uh, only there's a bit of a crisis
at home, so if you see him.
183
00:08:43,901 --> 00:08:45,501
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Definitely.
184
00:08:46,061 --> 00:08:47,661
-Sue, by the way.
-Marty.
185
00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:51,381
So uh, are--
are you, like, a mate?
186
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:54,661
Mate? God, no. Sorry.
Hasn't he told you?
187
00:08:55,181 --> 00:08:56,061
I'm his wife.
188
00:09:03,861 --> 00:09:07,021
I'm a good human be--
I'm a good-- [groans]
189
00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:09,861
I'm a-- Bullshitting,
lying motherfucker!
190
00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:16,860
Flat out on the bed like Lady Muck
in the middle of the bleeding day,
191
00:09:16,941 --> 00:09:20,460
with my bathrobe on,
cheeky cow. [grumbles]
192
00:09:20,741 --> 00:09:22,781
I swear to God, Fiona, I hate her.
193
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,181
I know she's Kev's sister,
194
00:09:24,581 --> 00:09:26,340
but I could happily see her
under a bus--
195
00:09:26,421 --> 00:09:27,381
Marty?
196
00:09:28,421 --> 00:09:29,781
He should've been back hours ago.
197
00:09:30,421 --> 00:09:32,141
-Why? Where's he gone?
-Job interview.
198
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:35,061
We're trying to get him on the straight
and narrow for the court thing next week.
199
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,541
Bloody hell, Debs.
Know when you're beat.
200
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:39,261
He's had psychologists,
psychotherapists,
201
00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:40,581
cognitive behavioural assessments,
202
00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,581
and they all come out with
the same conclusion.
203
00:09:42,661 --> 00:09:44,821
He's off his bleedin' lolly.
204
00:09:45,421 --> 00:09:47,381
[Debbie] Why doesn't anyone
give him a chance?
205
00:09:47,741 --> 00:09:51,581
All he wants is to be accepted,
to be treated like everybody else.
206
00:09:51,661 --> 00:09:53,980
[Craig] Help!
207
00:09:54,501 --> 00:09:56,581
Marty! You're making a big mistake!
208
00:09:56,661 --> 00:09:58,261
Not as big as yours,
you two-timing piece of shit!
209
00:09:58,340 --> 00:09:59,821
-No. Jesus! No!
-Not content
210
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:01,741
with one beautiful woman, no!
You've got to have two.
211
00:10:01,821 --> 00:10:03,021
-Marty!
-[Craig grunts]
212
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,541
-[crashing]
-[Fiona shrieks]
213
00:10:04,621 --> 00:10:05,821
[Veronica] You lunatic!
214
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,781
[Craig] Here you are,
guess what Marty's discovered.
215
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:09,141
Big secret, I'm married.
216
00:10:10,701 --> 00:10:12,021
Is that it?
217
00:10:13,301 --> 00:10:15,220
-What?
-Marty, everyone knows that.
218
00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:17,541
-[Craig] Prick.
-[Marty] No one told me.
219
00:10:18,261 --> 00:10:20,301
Wife appears, I thought
you were doing the dirty.
220
00:10:20,381 --> 00:10:21,301
It's over.
221
00:10:22,181 --> 00:10:23,661
Has been for ages.
222
00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:26,460
So, why are you still living
with her, then?
223
00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:29,021
Because she won't move out,
and it's my dad's fucking house.
224
00:10:29,621 --> 00:10:32,061
But... she's gorgeous.
225
00:10:33,421 --> 00:10:35,581
Marty, tell me
you went to the interview.
226
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,381
[exhales angrily]
227
00:10:42,901 --> 00:10:44,061
[door slams]
228
00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:48,141
[Craig] This was supposed to be
a surprise.
229
00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,541
Get in. Start her up.
230
00:10:52,781 --> 00:10:54,740
-[Veronica chuckles]
-[engine turns over]
231
00:10:55,541 --> 00:10:58,860
Bloody hell! I didn't even think
it had an engine!
232
00:10:59,621 --> 00:11:01,740
Is this leading
where I think it's leading?
233
00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:04,100
Uh-hm. Me and you. The open road.
234
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,181
There's nowt more romantic
than a camper van.
235
00:11:06,261 --> 00:11:08,781
You obviously never stayed
in a five-star hotel, then.
236
00:11:09,421 --> 00:11:11,501
It's not exactly what I had in mind.
237
00:11:11,581 --> 00:11:13,141
You'll put up with anything
when the sex is fresh.
238
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:15,301
-[both laugh]
-[Kelly] Blondie!
239
00:11:15,381 --> 00:11:16,740
There's no hot water!
240
00:11:16,821 --> 00:11:18,220
How do you turn this immersion on?
241
00:11:19,301 --> 00:11:20,980
I will fucking kill her.
242
00:11:21,541 --> 00:11:23,661
If you'd rather go and stay
in a B&B somewhere...
243
00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:26,021
No, no. It's great. Honest.
244
00:11:26,941 --> 00:11:29,421
Just think we might have
to fumigate it first.
245
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,340
Craig. Your wife's at the front door.
246
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,061
[groans]
247
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:43,541
You're living here now, then?
248
00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:45,261
Where I sleep is my business.
249
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:46,621
You've not been home in over a week.
250
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,860
-Home?
-Well, you know.
251
00:11:49,381 --> 00:11:52,021
Oh, you mean my dad's house.
The place that you want half of.
252
00:11:56,621 --> 00:11:58,980
Are you actually wanting something
or is this just a social visit?
253
00:11:59,181 --> 00:12:00,340
Boiler's playing up.
254
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:02,141
Place is like an icebox.
255
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:04,460
Yeah. Well, you know that book
with the brightly coloured pages?
256
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:05,701
[Sue] And how much is that gonna cost?
257
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,100
All right. I'll sort it.
258
00:12:11,301 --> 00:12:13,100
But you'll have to wait
until after the weekend.
259
00:12:14,261 --> 00:12:15,941
-We're going on holiday.
-Hmm.
260
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,301
Send me a postcard.
261
00:12:23,581 --> 00:12:25,021
-[door closes]
-If that boiler's bust,
262
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,701
I'm Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
263
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:30,860
-Boo!
-[screams]
264
00:12:30,941 --> 00:12:33,460
-No! No! No! I-- I'm sorry.
-[Sue gasping]
265
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:35,381
It's me, from-- from earlier.
266
00:12:36,181 --> 00:12:38,821
-I didn't mean to scare you.
-It's all right. God.
267
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:40,740
You took me by surprise, that's all.
268
00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:44,581
So, you managed to find him
this time then? Your husband?
269
00:12:45,301 --> 00:12:47,181
Sugar lumps! [twitches]
270
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:52,141
Don't hide it for my benefit.
Your Tourette's.
271
00:12:52,821 --> 00:12:54,460
Lad at our school had it. Phillip Trent.
272
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,061
Everyone used to call him
Fuck-off Phil.
273
00:12:57,421 --> 00:12:59,541
People only think it's weird
when they don't know what it is.
274
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,021
I'd better get back.
275
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:08,340
For what it's worth,
I think he's an idiot.
276
00:13:08,901 --> 00:13:11,701
He must be to let someone
like you slip through his fingers.
277
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,100
[twitches]
278
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:18,781
-Marty, isn't it?
-Hot sex! Mm--
279
00:13:22,781 --> 00:13:25,141
[Fiona] I can't believe you're
bringing your own firewood.
280
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,620
[Craig] A camping trip
ain't a camping trip without a campfire.
281
00:13:27,901 --> 00:13:29,421
I built them all the time
when I was a kid.
282
00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:32,421
I used to set fire to me sister's dolls
when she was doing my head in.
283
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:34,661
Hiya. [giggles]
284
00:13:37,261 --> 00:13:38,421
You're taking the piss.
285
00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:42,061
Before you get your knickers
in a twist, I'm not here for you.
286
00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:43,781
They're going on a date.
287
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:45,821
Who's going on a date?
288
00:13:46,541 --> 00:13:47,860
-Ta-da!
-[Sue gasping]
289
00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:49,581
Look at this handsome devil.
290
00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:51,701
[gasps] You're like a young Bruce Willis.
291
00:13:51,781 --> 00:13:53,340
Long time since I've been courted.
292
00:13:54,581 --> 00:13:55,821
Take my advice, Fiona.
293
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,220
-Enjoy it while it lasts.
-[Craig exhales deeply]
294
00:14:00,581 --> 00:14:02,301
-All right. What's the game?
-Game?
295
00:14:02,381 --> 00:14:03,860
[scoffs] I'm going on a date.
296
00:14:04,061 --> 00:14:05,581
Didn't know there were a law against it.
297
00:14:05,941 --> 00:14:07,061
[Craig] Convenient.
298
00:14:07,141 --> 00:14:08,901
Just happen to bag a bloke
who lives in the same house.
299
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:11,061
-What difference does it make?
-[Debbie] It's gonna be great.
300
00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:13,340
Anyone would think
you still had feelings for me.
301
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:15,821
Shall we?
302
00:14:17,021 --> 00:14:18,261
-See you, Debbie.
-[Debbie] See ya.
303
00:14:21,301 --> 00:14:22,261
Don't wait up.
304
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:24,141
[door closes]
305
00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:27,181
Having a girlfriend's got
to be good for his court case.
306
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:28,581
[giggles]
307
00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:34,220
I'm going chestnut brown.
308
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,901
New life, new look.
That's my motto.
309
00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:38,901
It looks like
a dirty bleeding protest.
310
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,781
You ever thought
of changing colour?
311
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:43,460
Bit '80s, that look, isn't it?
312
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:44,821
-Is it?
-[Kelly] Oh, yeah.
313
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,340
Sharon Stone, Madonna.
They were all at it then, but--
314
00:14:47,901 --> 00:14:50,141
Kel, I think your bloke's
hanging about outside.
315
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,661
-You're joking.
-Tall, skinny, a bit Iggy Pop.
316
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,220
Well, for God's sake, don't let him in.
317
00:14:54,301 --> 00:14:56,381
If he's not had a fix he gets violent.
318
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,421
Kelly! Kelly-Marie!
319
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:03,261
[Jack] I know you're in there!
Come on down!
320
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:04,740
I've got to be at work in ten minutes.
321
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,661
-[Jack] Kelly!
-I'll have to shoot out the front.
322
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,901
-Uh, I'm coming with you.
-[Jack] Kelly!
323
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,340
You're not leaving me here with him!
324
00:15:11,421 --> 00:15:12,261
[clattering]
325
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,941
-All right. It's your shot.
-Which one am I going for?
326
00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:19,661
Um, you go for that red one
into the bottom corner.
327
00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:21,460
That's the easiest. That should go in.
328
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:24,661
But if you sort of lean over
and get your chin right on the cue.
329
00:15:26,581 --> 00:15:28,980
That's it. And then get-- get it
just between your fingers there.
330
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,620
-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah.
331
00:15:30,701 --> 00:15:32,620
-[stammers] It'll go in there.
-[Sue exhales]
332
00:15:32,701 --> 00:15:34,460
-Oh! [laughs]
-Hey.
333
00:15:34,541 --> 00:15:35,901
I think I've had too much wine.
334
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:38,181
Rubbish. More you drink,
the better you get at this game.
335
00:15:38,261 --> 00:15:40,541
-Soft kittens!
-[screams, laughs]
336
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:42,821
-[machine beeping]
-Jackpot!
337
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,860
[laughs]
338
00:15:44,941 --> 00:15:46,661
[coins clatter]
339
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,421
...And it had
a little wind chime.
340
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,661
Twisted freak.
341
00:15:52,181 --> 00:15:55,941
I mean, how can sticking
a needle in your arm be normal?
342
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,701
Tell me. Who sees that as normal?
343
00:15:58,781 --> 00:16:02,220
I know. But love's blind, Frank.
344
00:16:02,781 --> 00:16:04,100
Look at Kev with Veronica.
345
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,460
You're not telling me
he couldn't do better.
346
00:16:06,541 --> 00:16:08,220
[Frank] A word from the wise.
347
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:11,021
Get your stuff out quick sharp.
Otherwise,
348
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:14,941
he'll have your stereo in his veins
before you can say Dolby surround sound.
349
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:16,460
[Kev] Yeah, all right, Frank.
350
00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:18,541
-We're dealing with it.
-[Frank] Yes, but when?
351
00:16:19,261 --> 00:16:20,740
Uh, druggie, Kev.
352
00:16:20,821 --> 00:16:23,860
We're talking desperation.
We're talking scum of the earth.
353
00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:28,021
No. Thing is, I can't. I mean,
I ain't got a van or anything.
354
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,421
-So--
-Wait. No problem.
355
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,620
Eamon. Eamon!
356
00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:36,061
Hey, how do you fancy being this young
lady's knight in shining armour?
357
00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:37,340
Depends.
358
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:39,380
-Is there a pint in it for me?
-[scoffs]
359
00:16:39,941 --> 00:16:42,301
-"Spunkface." "Bucket of spunk."
-What else do you do?
360
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,460
Uh, "Piss flaps." "Donkey dick."
Donkey dick!
361
00:16:45,541 --> 00:16:46,740
[laughs]
362
00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:50,061
Come on.
I want to show you something.
363
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,181
-[Marty] Bucket!
-[Sue laughing] Oh.
364
00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:58,500
[grunts]
365
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:00,460
-You ready?
-Yeah.
366
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,301
Three, two, one.
367
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,461
What am I looking at?
368
00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:11,380
The most beautiful place in the world.
369
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:14,781
What, that?
370
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:18,420
To other people...
it's just a gas tower.
371
00:17:18,501 --> 00:17:19,461
But to me, it's...
372
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:21,900
it's awesome.
373
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,701
[stammers] Beauty's everywhere.
374
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,660
Just depends
whether you choose to see it.
375
00:17:35,261 --> 00:17:36,940
Boner! Sorry. Sorry.
376
00:17:37,861 --> 00:17:39,101
Don't apologise.
377
00:17:39,581 --> 00:17:41,501
That's what makes you who you are.
378
00:17:45,701 --> 00:17:47,541
[fireworks burst]
379
00:17:53,981 --> 00:17:55,501
Craig must be off his head.
380
00:17:57,101 --> 00:17:58,301
How can he live without that?
381
00:18:02,101 --> 00:18:03,381
Let's go back to yours.
382
00:18:11,141 --> 00:18:13,301
Uh-- What's all this?
383
00:18:13,581 --> 00:18:14,821
A few home comforts.
384
00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:17,061
Sneaked in while Jack was out.
385
00:18:18,101 --> 00:18:20,180
Oh, don't look at me.
It were Frank's idea.
386
00:18:20,261 --> 00:18:22,581
Oh, figures. Might've known
you'd stick your nose in!
387
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:26,101
All goodness of me heart, this!
Rescue mission. Damsel in distress.
388
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:27,981
You'll stay for a smoke, won't you, Frank?
389
00:18:28,061 --> 00:18:30,061
-Few drinks?
-[Frank] Ta! Yeah.
390
00:18:31,581 --> 00:18:33,461
Don't mind, do you, blondie?
391
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,101
[Frank speaking indistinctly]
392
00:18:37,341 --> 00:18:38,461
Time's up, Kev.
393
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,781
Oh! For fuck's sake!
394
00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:45,581
[Frank] Down from that castle, Rapunzel.
395
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,341
Let down your golden hair.
396
00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:49,981
[Sue laughing]
397
00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:52,861
[Sue groaning]
398
00:18:53,141 --> 00:18:55,741
-Toss!
-[Sue laughing]
399
00:18:59,341 --> 00:19:00,981
Oh. [gasps]
400
00:19:03,061 --> 00:19:05,301
-[Sue continues laughing]
-[Craig hisses, exhales]
401
00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:06,621
[both grunt]
402
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:09,821
[both moan]
403
00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:11,301
[Marty] Suck me cock!
404
00:19:11,581 --> 00:19:13,141
-[laughs]
-Sorry.
405
00:19:13,221 --> 00:19:15,981
[groans] Look, Craig,
maybe you've got it wrong.
406
00:19:16,061 --> 00:19:18,101
Maybe she really likes him.
407
00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,501
-[Marty] Donkey dick!
-I know he's got his problems,
408
00:19:20,581 --> 00:19:22,180
but he's a good-looking bloke.
409
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,021
Fiona, I've known her
a lot longer than you,
410
00:19:24,101 --> 00:19:25,781
and believe me,
she's sticking the knife in.
411
00:19:25,861 --> 00:19:27,301
By pulling Marty?
412
00:19:27,381 --> 00:19:29,301
-[Marty] Oh, oh.
-[laughing] Marty.
413
00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:31,101
[Marty] Kinky boot!
414
00:19:32,381 --> 00:19:35,101
It's just that her presence
in this house, it's like poison.
415
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:38,141
Let her shag him.
Let her scream the house down.
416
00:19:38,341 --> 00:19:40,541
-Why should you care?
-[Sue laughing]
417
00:19:42,101 --> 00:19:43,341
[sighs] See?
418
00:19:43,621 --> 00:19:45,581
-[Sue sighing]
-This is exactly what she wants.
419
00:19:45,781 --> 00:19:47,141
[laughter continues]
420
00:19:52,821 --> 00:19:55,141
[Marty] No, I--
I can't get me hand down.
421
00:19:55,221 --> 00:19:58,061
[Marty] I can't get me--
I can't get your top off.
422
00:19:59,541 --> 00:20:00,420
What?
423
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:02,541
I can't do this.
424
00:20:04,541 --> 00:20:06,940
-My head's all over the place.
-We-- we can wait.
425
00:20:07,021 --> 00:20:08,221
We don't have to rush into anything.
426
00:20:08,301 --> 00:20:11,101
No, it isn't that. It's just...
[breathes heavily]
427
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:15,861
I like you, and--
428
00:20:16,221 --> 00:20:19,420
and I've had a great time,
but... it's Craig.
429
00:20:21,301 --> 00:20:22,180
What about him?
430
00:20:22,781 --> 00:20:25,141
-He's still my husband, Marty.
-I thought it were all over.
431
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:27,581
We've been married eight years.
432
00:20:28,341 --> 00:20:30,420
It's comfort more than passion,
I suppose, but...
433
00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:32,541
you can't just turn it off.
434
00:20:36,180 --> 00:20:37,781
Oh, it's all such a mess.
435
00:20:39,501 --> 00:20:40,461
[sighs]
436
00:20:45,141 --> 00:20:46,021
[stammers]
437
00:20:48,341 --> 00:20:50,221
What, you still--
still shagging him?
438
00:20:52,981 --> 00:20:54,180
You mustn't tell Fiona.
439
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,821
Promise me, Marty,
you won't tell Fiona.
440
00:20:57,660 --> 00:20:59,741
[stammers]
441
00:21:05,381 --> 00:21:06,461
[Sue] Marty! No!
442
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:08,900
Do you want her or not?
'Cause if you don't, let her go!
443
00:21:08,981 --> 00:21:11,700
-[Fiona] Fuck you talking about?
-[Marty] Him. Fucking Casanova!
444
00:21:12,221 --> 00:21:14,501
Stringing you both along,
wanting it every which way.
445
00:21:14,581 --> 00:21:16,101
-What have you told him?
-Nothing!
446
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:17,940
-She told me the truth.
-What fucking truth?
447
00:21:18,021 --> 00:21:19,900
About him and her. [pants]
448
00:21:21,261 --> 00:21:22,301
He's still shagging her,
449
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,061
even though he doesn't even want her.
450
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,341
-You lying--
-Stay away from her, Craig!
451
00:21:26,420 --> 00:21:28,021
I mean it! I'll break
both your fucking legs!
452
00:21:28,101 --> 00:21:29,821
-[Fiona] Marty!
-No, Fiona.
453
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,581
He's messing you around.
He's messing everyone around.
454
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:34,141
And it's not fair, 'cause--
455
00:21:34,621 --> 00:21:37,621
'cause I could make her happy,
and-- and he don't even love her.
456
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,381
When did you last sleep with him?
457
00:21:42,461 --> 00:21:44,461
-[groans] Fiona!
-No, we're having this out.
458
00:21:44,981 --> 00:21:47,301
Tell me! When did you last
sleep with him?
459
00:21:47,381 --> 00:21:48,541
I'm not looking to hurt you, Fiona.
460
00:21:48,621 --> 00:21:51,581
When did you last sleep with him?
461
00:21:51,981 --> 00:21:54,061
Last week? Last month? Last year?
462
00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:57,621
-[Marty] She's telling the truth.
-[Craig] Marty, open your eyes.
463
00:21:58,141 --> 00:21:59,381
She's trying to break us up.
464
00:22:00,381 --> 00:22:03,341
-She's fucking using you.
-She's not. She wouldn't.
465
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,420
We-- we've kissed.
466
00:22:06,581 --> 00:22:07,581
[Craig scoffs]
467
00:22:08,221 --> 00:22:10,341
Did you really think that somebody
like her
468
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:12,341
would be interested in a freak like you?
469
00:22:12,420 --> 00:22:14,501
-[Fiona] Craig!
-She is! Tell him!
470
00:22:14,581 --> 00:22:15,861
Tell him how you feel about me!
471
00:22:23,180 --> 00:22:24,381
[Fiona] Oh, shit!
472
00:22:25,061 --> 00:22:26,301
-[Marty] Jesus. The baby.
-Oh, shit.
473
00:22:26,381 --> 00:22:28,501
-[Fiona] Oh, shit. [groans]
-Baby?
474
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:29,900
You stay there, I'll go get an ambulance.
475
00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:31,781
I knew it. You're gonna leave me,
aren't you?
476
00:22:31,861 --> 00:22:33,021
You're gonna leave me on my own!
477
00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:34,381
[pants]
478
00:22:35,381 --> 00:22:37,221
[Carol] It's like bedlam out here!
479
00:22:37,301 --> 00:22:38,261
[Marty] Sue! Wait!
480
00:22:39,101 --> 00:22:41,981
-[Carol] What's all the racket?
-It's nothing. It's okay.
481
00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,341
Tell Craig, forget about the ambulance.
482
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:47,660
Leave me alone.
483
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:49,660
Please come back.
484
00:22:50,221 --> 00:22:51,420
[dogs barking]
485
00:22:51,861 --> 00:22:53,101
Marty, look.
486
00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:56,420
[Marty sobbing]
487
00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:06,141
Prick!
488
00:23:10,581 --> 00:23:11,981
[sobs]
489
00:23:20,021 --> 00:23:20,981
Spunkface!
490
00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:44,981
♪ Oh, we've got
A little world of our own ♪
491
00:23:45,381 --> 00:23:47,420
♪ I'll tell you things
That no one else knows ♪
492
00:23:47,501 --> 00:23:49,981
♪ I'll let you in
Where no one else goes ♪
493
00:23:50,781 --> 00:23:52,821
♪ Would I be doing
Without you? ♪
494
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:55,021
♪ I'll tell you things
That no one else knows ♪
495
00:23:55,261 --> 00:23:57,541
♪ I'll let you in
Where no one else goes ♪
496
00:23:57,900 --> 00:23:59,581
♪ Would I be doing
Without you? ♪
497
00:24:00,141 --> 00:24:01,700
♪ We've got a little world... ♪
498
00:24:04,301 --> 00:24:05,940
[Debbie] Oh, no.
499
00:24:18,621 --> 00:24:19,781
We're only helping 'cause we want
500
00:24:19,861 --> 00:24:21,101
-to get rid of her.
-[Craig] Fiona!
501
00:24:21,180 --> 00:24:22,741
-[indistinct chatter]
-[Ian laughing]
502
00:24:23,741 --> 00:24:24,940
He's torn his mantra!
503
00:24:25,940 --> 00:24:28,900
-He's in court on Monday!
-Debbie, I am going on holiday.
504
00:24:28,981 --> 00:24:30,541
What do you want me to do about it?
505
00:24:30,621 --> 00:24:33,101
-[Debbie] Oh.
-[Carol] What's up with your sulky chops?
506
00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,180
I'm moving out.
507
00:24:34,261 --> 00:24:35,741
I'm not stepping foot in that house again,
508
00:24:35,821 --> 00:24:37,381
until that idiot husband of mine
gets rid of that
509
00:24:37,821 --> 00:24:40,021
-stupid bitch!
-[boys laughing]
510
00:24:40,301 --> 00:24:41,741
[Veronica] The house is covered in tat.
511
00:24:42,501 --> 00:24:44,021
Can I stay at yours, Fiona?
512
00:24:44,581 --> 00:24:46,301
You can have my room till I get back.
513
00:24:46,660 --> 00:24:47,700
Who's your mate?
514
00:24:48,101 --> 00:24:50,460
Alfred. He's the only bloke
I can rely on.
515
00:24:50,541 --> 00:24:52,981
-Aw.
-[indistinct chatter]
516
00:24:53,061 --> 00:24:55,141
[all] Bye!
517
00:24:55,581 --> 00:24:58,021
[overlapping chatter]
518
00:24:58,940 --> 00:25:01,021
[Debbie] Fiona, what about Marty?
519
00:25:02,621 --> 00:25:04,221
-For fuck's sake.
-Craig, don't.
520
00:25:04,741 --> 00:25:05,861
What is it with you, eh?
521
00:25:06,180 --> 00:25:07,821
Don't you think
you've caused enough damage?
522
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:09,101
Just turn around and go home
523
00:25:09,180 --> 00:25:11,061
because I'm going on holiday
with Fiona,
524
00:25:11,141 --> 00:25:13,101
and nothing you can say's
gonna alter that, right?
525
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:14,261
Craig.
526
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,301
Your dad's dead.
527
00:25:35,940 --> 00:25:36,821
Ta.
528
00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,301
Three years he's been in that home.
529
00:25:42,101 --> 00:25:43,420
Hanging on and hanging on.
530
00:25:45,180 --> 00:25:46,940
Trust him to pick this week to go.
531
00:25:49,061 --> 00:25:51,301
My dad died day I passed me driving test.
532
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,460
Still, meant I got his Citroën.
533
00:26:00,180 --> 00:26:01,180
Were you close?
534
00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:03,381
Used to be.
535
00:26:03,741 --> 00:26:05,581
[scoffs] Best mates.
536
00:26:07,341 --> 00:26:08,660
But then his head went west.
537
00:26:09,861 --> 00:26:10,821
Dementia.
538
00:26:12,581 --> 00:26:14,381
Last few months
he started calling me Rupert.
539
00:26:14,460 --> 00:26:16,301
[both snicker]
540
00:26:16,381 --> 00:26:17,420
[scoffs]
541
00:26:19,061 --> 00:26:21,541
It's a terrible thing, losing your father.
542
00:26:23,781 --> 00:26:25,141
Grandad's still alive!
543
00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:29,981
I know. I'm just saying,
it's a terrible thing losing your father.
544
00:26:30,821 --> 00:26:31,660
[rattling]
545
00:26:32,021 --> 00:26:35,061
Marty's tablets...
for his hyper mania.
546
00:26:35,381 --> 00:26:37,021
He needs to take two twice a day.
547
00:26:37,861 --> 00:26:39,101
Does no one care?
548
00:26:44,180 --> 00:26:45,301
Still, there's an upside.
549
00:26:46,420 --> 00:26:49,341
House is mine now, innit?
So... once I flog that off...
550
00:26:50,220 --> 00:26:51,341
no more Sue.
551
00:26:57,301 --> 00:26:58,981
[indistinct chatter]
552
00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:03,261
I feel like I don't even know him, V.
553
00:27:03,341 --> 00:27:05,700
-[sighs]
-I've got his baby inside me,
554
00:27:06,301 --> 00:27:10,460
and it's like there's this whole
other world, wife, dad
555
00:27:10,821 --> 00:27:12,341
that I've never even been a part of.
556
00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:14,061
Give it a chance.
557
00:27:14,541 --> 00:27:16,940
-It-- it takes time.
-[Fiona] I know.
558
00:27:17,301 --> 00:27:19,501
But that's the one thing
we haven't got, V.
559
00:27:20,501 --> 00:27:23,501
I just wish we'd had a bit more time
before all this had happened.
560
00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:28,261
[indistinct talking]
561
00:27:35,141 --> 00:27:36,220
-All right.
-Cool.
562
00:27:36,301 --> 00:27:37,900
[mouths]
563
00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:41,900
Sorry, Fiona. I've gotta go to mine.
564
00:28:12,981 --> 00:28:15,021
[water running]
565
00:28:24,581 --> 00:28:26,460
-Show me your arms!
-Stop it, you mad bitch!
566
00:28:26,541 --> 00:28:28,621
Show me your arms, you druggie cow!
567
00:28:28,821 --> 00:28:31,541
Get off of me! Get off me!
568
00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:37,741
Oh, yes.
569
00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:45,460
[Fiona] How did it go
with the undertaker?
570
00:28:45,541 --> 00:28:46,980
[Craig] Sister shafted me.
571
00:28:47,061 --> 00:28:48,621
By the time I got there,
she'd arranged a burial
572
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:50,581
when I specifically told her
that he wanted a cremation.
573
00:28:51,061 --> 00:28:52,341
We stayed up one night, talking.
574
00:28:52,861 --> 00:28:54,621
He told me exactly what he wanted.
575
00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:56,501
A big party with people
enjoying themselves,
576
00:28:56,581 --> 00:28:58,101
not me and me sister
stood 'round the coffin
577
00:28:58,180 --> 00:28:59,581
trying to look fucking mournful.
578
00:29:00,341 --> 00:29:01,821
[cheering on TV]
579
00:29:10,821 --> 00:29:13,381
-Guess where they've come from.
-A diabetic.
580
00:29:13,741 --> 00:29:14,861
Kelly-Marie's bag.
581
00:29:15,460 --> 00:29:17,940
Yeah. Well, they probably belong
to dog boy, Jack Russell.
582
00:29:18,261 --> 00:29:19,501
I've just seen her scoring.
583
00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:22,301
Tenner says that's why
he kicked her out.
584
00:29:22,381 --> 00:29:23,460
Now, wait a minute.
585
00:29:23,541 --> 00:29:26,141
You can accuse our Kel of a lot
of things, but she's not a junkie!
586
00:29:26,220 --> 00:29:28,420
She's wafer-thin,
she's always skint,
587
00:29:28,940 --> 00:29:31,381
and you tell me the last time
you saw her in a sleeveless top.
588
00:29:31,460 --> 00:29:33,101
Veronica, I know you don't like her,
589
00:29:33,180 --> 00:29:34,940
but that is my little sister
you're talking about.
590
00:29:35,021 --> 00:29:36,541
And she's not into fucking skag!
591
00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:39,501
-[Kev exhales deeply]
-We'll see about that.
592
00:29:41,220 --> 00:29:43,141
Oi. Oi, what-- what are you on about?
593
00:29:43,940 --> 00:29:45,301
She's going cold turkey.
594
00:29:56,381 --> 00:29:58,700
-[Kelly] Open the fucking door now!
-[banging on door]
595
00:30:00,420 --> 00:30:02,581
-[banging on door]
-Stupid blonde bitch!
596
00:30:02,940 --> 00:30:04,861
[doorknob rattling]
597
00:30:05,741 --> 00:30:07,460
Can you fucking hear me?
598
00:30:08,141 --> 00:30:09,861
[Kelly] What do you think
you're fucking doing?
599
00:30:09,940 --> 00:30:14,581
[crowd] Jump! Jump! Jump!
Jump! Jump!
600
00:30:17,621 --> 00:30:18,741
Jump! Jump!
601
00:30:22,341 --> 00:30:23,781
[inaudible dialogue]
602
00:30:25,021 --> 00:30:27,021
-[laughter]
-[indistinct chatter]
603
00:30:27,541 --> 00:30:29,061
-[guitar playing]
-[Debbie] I want that.
604
00:30:29,261 --> 00:30:31,180
-[Lip] Get us a beer, love.
-[Carol] Come on...
605
00:30:31,261 --> 00:30:32,660
-All right.
-[Carl] Want a beer, Craig?
606
00:30:32,741 --> 00:30:33,781
-Yeah.
-Come on, you can have
607
00:30:33,861 --> 00:30:35,660
a beer, but you don't normally.
608
00:30:35,741 --> 00:30:37,781
[Lip] Oh, yeah.
Like I can never have a drink.
609
00:30:38,460 --> 00:30:39,621
Come on. Give us a go.
610
00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:42,900
[indistinct talking, laughter]
611
00:30:43,101 --> 00:30:44,900
[Ian] We should get Carol
playing the guitar.
612
00:30:44,980 --> 00:30:47,220
-[Debbie laughing]
-Quick! It's Marty!
613
00:30:47,301 --> 00:30:49,101
He's gonna chuck himself off
Sandringham house!
614
00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:50,141
[Carl] Shit.
615
00:30:54,341 --> 00:30:55,861
[siren wailing]
616
00:30:56,381 --> 00:30:59,180
[crowd shouting]
617
00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:07,141
-[Debbie shouts] Marty!
-[man] Come down!
618
00:31:07,541 --> 00:31:09,061
[Carl] Don't do it, get back, Marty!
619
00:31:09,141 --> 00:31:10,660
No, Debbie. Debbie, no.
620
00:31:11,581 --> 00:31:12,541
[Debbie] I'm going up!
621
00:31:14,180 --> 00:31:15,621
-Get off of us!
-Let us past!
622
00:31:16,220 --> 00:31:17,261
Don't do it.
623
00:31:27,781 --> 00:31:28,741
Stay back!
624
00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:31,940
Marty, come away from the edge.
625
00:31:33,420 --> 00:31:35,341
-[clamouring]
-[gasps]
626
00:31:41,341 --> 00:31:43,301
-What's up?
-I'm scared of heights.
627
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,940
-Let me do the talking.
-Get back!
628
00:31:48,220 --> 00:31:50,581
-[clamouring]
-[siren wailing]
629
00:31:51,781 --> 00:31:52,980
Them people down there...
630
00:31:54,581 --> 00:31:56,301
they'd love to see you try and fly.
631
00:31:57,781 --> 00:31:59,940
You'd be the talk of the town
for about half an hour.
632
00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:03,581
Don't you think your life's
worth more than that, Marty?
633
00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:04,660
Cornflakes!
634
00:32:05,141 --> 00:32:07,341
[crying] I just want
to be like everybody else!
635
00:32:07,420 --> 00:32:08,660
[sobs]
636
00:32:08,900 --> 00:32:10,381
[crowd] Jump! Jump!
637
00:32:10,660 --> 00:32:13,341
'Cause that fucker's right!
I'm a freak!
638
00:32:13,781 --> 00:32:16,501
And do you know how that feels?
Do you?
639
00:32:16,581 --> 00:32:17,821
-Fuck!
-No!
640
00:32:18,381 --> 00:32:21,660
Yeah. Yeah. Look at you.
Yeah. Come on!
641
00:32:22,180 --> 00:32:23,541
Human misery.
642
00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:25,900
You can't get enough of it!
643
00:32:26,740 --> 00:32:30,101
Eh? Willing a bloke
to chuck himself to his death
644
00:32:30,420 --> 00:32:34,061
so that you can have
a bit of fucking entertainment.
645
00:32:35,581 --> 00:32:38,501
Serves you right if he lands on
your heads, you brainless cunts.
646
00:32:40,141 --> 00:32:42,621
Yeah! Jump! Yeah! Jump!
Come on!
647
00:32:43,501 --> 00:32:46,341
-[crowd] Jump, jump!
-Just... stay away, Debs.
648
00:32:47,781 --> 00:32:48,740
I mean it.
649
00:32:50,541 --> 00:32:51,501
No.
650
00:32:52,740 --> 00:32:56,220
Because if you're going, Marty,
I want you to know three things.
651
00:32:56,900 --> 00:32:59,501
And you're not jumping off
this building until you've heard them.
652
00:33:02,301 --> 00:33:03,301
We all love you.
653
00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:05,301
[Marty] Fuck! [groans]
654
00:33:07,381 --> 00:33:09,861
You're not a freak.
You've got Tourette's.
655
00:33:10,621 --> 00:33:12,900
Craig is really upset
that he called you that.
656
00:33:13,501 --> 00:33:14,460
Aren't you?
657
00:33:19,861 --> 00:33:22,141
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to Sue.
658
00:33:22,940 --> 00:33:24,460
She just doesn't know it yet.
659
00:33:30,381 --> 00:33:31,621
Debbie's right, Marty.
660
00:33:32,541 --> 00:33:34,021
She just needs someone to love her.
661
00:33:35,740 --> 00:33:37,061
She's an unhappy person...
662
00:33:37,781 --> 00:33:39,220
but she weren't always like that.
663
00:33:39,740 --> 00:33:41,021
She's got a good heart.
664
00:33:43,781 --> 00:33:45,220
She'd be lucky to have you.
665
00:33:57,740 --> 00:33:59,341
I don't want to go back to prison.
666
00:34:10,860 --> 00:34:12,300
[sobs]
667
00:34:13,141 --> 00:34:14,740
[Veronica] Nice one, Debbie!
668
00:34:15,141 --> 00:34:16,780
[woman] Show's over. You can go.
669
00:34:17,061 --> 00:34:19,220
[Veronica] Yeah! Go on!
Fuck off, you bunch of freaks!
670
00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:20,581
Tossers!
671
00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:38,021
[Craig] He was a great bloke, Fiona.
672
00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:41,461
He was always there for me.
673
00:34:43,180 --> 00:34:44,220
Whatever.
674
00:34:49,180 --> 00:34:50,340
[Craig sighs]
675
00:34:53,180 --> 00:34:56,021
If I can do half as well with our kid
as he did with me, then...
676
00:34:59,820 --> 00:35:01,340
-I reckon I'll be all right.
-Hey.
677
00:35:09,061 --> 00:35:09,981
[dog barking]
678
00:35:11,061 --> 00:35:14,300
I'm a good human being
with a great deal to offer.
679
00:35:14,941 --> 00:35:16,141
I'm a good human being...
680
00:35:17,221 --> 00:35:18,581
-[knock on door]
-Yeah?
681
00:35:22,581 --> 00:35:23,981
Big day tomorrow, Marty.
682
00:35:24,820 --> 00:35:27,541
Yeah, I'm just trying it on
so I've got everything perfect.
683
00:35:29,021 --> 00:35:30,621
Make sure you get
a good night's sleep.
684
00:35:31,701 --> 00:35:33,141
You want to be fresh in court.
685
00:35:41,461 --> 00:35:45,381
I'm a good human being
with a great deal to offer.
686
00:35:46,261 --> 00:35:47,860
I'm a good human being...
687
00:36:10,780 --> 00:36:12,701
I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
688
00:36:15,421 --> 00:36:17,421
[toy squeaking]
689
00:36:20,621 --> 00:36:23,621
[both pant, moan]
690
00:36:28,581 --> 00:36:29,780
[Marty] I don't know what I'm doing!
691
00:36:29,860 --> 00:36:31,101
[breathes heavily]
692
00:36:31,780 --> 00:36:33,181
-[Marty] Sorry.
-[Sue] It's all right.
693
00:36:39,621 --> 00:36:41,901
Puppies. [stammers]
[imitates bark]
694
00:36:52,701 --> 00:36:53,661
[toy squeaks]
695
00:36:58,021 --> 00:36:58,981
[Kelly grunts]
696
00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:02,941
Let me out, you fucking bastards!
697
00:37:04,741 --> 00:37:06,621
Veronica, I need a shit.
698
00:37:07,221 --> 00:37:08,181
Go next door.
699
00:37:08,701 --> 00:37:11,461
You can't keep her in there forever.
She'll starve to death.
700
00:37:12,221 --> 00:37:14,421
She can come out
when she admits what she is.
701
00:37:14,820 --> 00:37:17,141
-A dirty addict!
-[Kelly whimpering]
702
00:37:18,621 --> 00:37:22,101
[Kelly screaming]
703
00:37:24,101 --> 00:37:26,261
[Veronica in distorted voice]
Oh, shut your fucking whining.
704
00:37:26,621 --> 00:37:28,780
[eerie music playing]
705
00:37:34,181 --> 00:37:36,461
[breathes heavily]
706
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,541
[pants]
707
00:37:46,901 --> 00:37:48,181
[screams]
708
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:04,541
[screams]
709
00:38:06,541 --> 00:38:07,621
Fucking hell.
710
00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:13,501
-How are you feeling?
-Go fuck yourself.
711
00:38:14,181 --> 00:38:15,300
Tools of the trade.
712
00:38:16,621 --> 00:38:18,061
Only one thing missing.
713
00:38:18,501 --> 00:38:19,780
Not that you'll be wanting it.
714
00:38:22,261 --> 00:38:23,221
Kel. Kel.
715
00:38:24,501 --> 00:38:26,181
For fuck's sake, Kel.
716
00:38:27,941 --> 00:38:29,261
We've got to get you some help.
717
00:38:32,701 --> 00:38:34,061
A bag would be a start.
718
00:38:50,741 --> 00:38:54,101
[breathes shakily]
719
00:38:57,421 --> 00:38:58,741
[Kev] Careful with that, though, Kel.
720
00:38:59,901 --> 00:39:01,021
We use that on the curries.
721
00:39:01,661 --> 00:39:02,541
It's red hot.
722
00:39:03,981 --> 00:39:05,141
[sobs] No.
723
00:39:14,621 --> 00:39:15,621
Take me home.
724
00:39:16,221 --> 00:39:17,501
[Veronica] I'll call the doctor.
725
00:39:19,461 --> 00:39:21,221
[Kel sniffles, whimpers]
726
00:39:23,701 --> 00:39:26,741
Oh, I can't believe
he's gone AWOL again.
727
00:39:27,101 --> 00:39:29,820
-What is the matter with him?
-Well, don't look at me.
728
00:39:30,261 --> 00:39:33,541
They all blame the mothers.
I have done my best, Fiona.
729
00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:36,661
God knows, I have tried my best.
730
00:39:37,461 --> 00:39:39,061
You'll see when you have your own.
731
00:39:41,221 --> 00:39:42,741
What's happening? Where's Marty?
732
00:39:43,421 --> 00:39:44,380
[grunts softly]
733
00:39:44,461 --> 00:39:46,261
Why would he do this to me?
734
00:39:47,501 --> 00:39:48,981
What if he sneaked out early?
735
00:39:49,340 --> 00:39:52,221
He might've needed a bit of time
to himself, get his head clear.
736
00:39:52,300 --> 00:39:55,340
Ian's right. Well, you know, he might've
just gone to court by himself.
737
00:39:55,421 --> 00:39:57,981
[Veronica] Well, at least if we're there,
we might be able to stall things.
738
00:39:58,340 --> 00:40:00,300
Come on. There's no point
sitting 'round here. Let's go.
739
00:40:01,421 --> 00:40:03,061
[Ian] Uh, hang on.
Hadn't someone
740
00:40:03,141 --> 00:40:04,501
better wait here, just in case?
741
00:40:04,581 --> 00:40:05,820
-I'll wait.
-[Fiona] Don't you want
742
00:40:05,901 --> 00:40:07,621
to court, Deb,
in case he shows up?
743
00:40:07,701 --> 00:40:09,181
I've tried my best. [sighs]
744
00:40:10,261 --> 00:40:11,221
[door slams]
745
00:40:12,221 --> 00:40:16,141
-Ugh. What are you doing here?
-I've come to pay me respects.
746
00:40:16,221 --> 00:40:18,380
Yeah. Someone mentioned the free bar.
747
00:40:21,780 --> 00:40:23,221
[indistinct chatter]
748
00:40:39,701 --> 00:40:42,340
-It's freezing in here.
-Boiler's bust.
749
00:40:43,421 --> 00:40:45,061
Just have to keep
each other warm, then.
750
00:40:45,141 --> 00:40:46,901
Mm-hmm. [moans]
751
00:40:53,061 --> 00:40:54,141
[Marty sighs]
752
00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:57,741
I wish we could stay here all day.
Cunnilingus!
753
00:40:59,581 --> 00:41:00,501
We can.
754
00:41:01,101 --> 00:41:02,461
Well, until the funeral, but...
755
00:41:02,820 --> 00:41:03,780
that gives us...
756
00:41:05,221 --> 00:41:06,300
four hours.
757
00:41:09,101 --> 00:41:10,021
[Sue laughs]
758
00:41:15,141 --> 00:41:16,061
[Sue chuckles]
759
00:41:22,541 --> 00:41:23,780
If he's not going to show,
760
00:41:23,860 --> 00:41:25,780
we should get over to yours
and get the ale flowing.
761
00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:26,820
Frank.
762
00:41:28,340 --> 00:41:30,501
Solicitor says
he can't stall it any longer.
763
00:41:30,741 --> 00:41:33,701
If he's not here in two minutes,
they'll file it as a no-show.
764
00:41:34,061 --> 00:41:36,221
-Two minutes.
-Gonna put him away, aren't they?
765
00:41:36,501 --> 00:41:39,141
All that bleedin' effort,
they're just gonna throw him inside.
766
00:41:40,981 --> 00:41:45,340
[screams, moans]
767
00:41:52,300 --> 00:41:56,261
Oh. Oh. Oh, God, Marty.
768
00:41:58,021 --> 00:42:01,141
The last time I've come like that,
it's been battery-operated.
769
00:42:01,741 --> 00:42:03,501
[sighs, chuckles]
770
00:42:11,541 --> 00:42:12,860
What you doing tomorrow night?
771
00:42:15,021 --> 00:42:16,621
[Marty] No!
772
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:19,141
-Hey, come here. He's here.
-[van horn honking]
773
00:42:19,621 --> 00:42:21,661
Look at that. Runs like a dream.
774
00:42:22,021 --> 00:42:23,941
[cheering]
775
00:42:24,021 --> 00:42:25,461
Good timing, Marty!
776
00:42:26,461 --> 00:42:27,541
Sorry!
777
00:42:28,261 --> 00:42:30,221
-[indistinct chatter]
-Where have you been, spud head?
778
00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:32,741
-I overslept, that's all.
-Court two.
779
00:42:32,820 --> 00:42:34,501
Your solicitor's name is Tom Vickers.
780
00:42:34,581 --> 00:42:37,421
-You've got about 30 seconds.
-Marty, good luck!
781
00:42:38,541 --> 00:42:40,061
[all exclaim]
782
00:42:44,061 --> 00:42:44,941
Thanks, Debs.
783
00:42:46,261 --> 00:42:47,461
I love a happy ending.
784
00:42:49,661 --> 00:42:52,141
[Frank] Will this piece of shit
make it to yours, Craig?
785
00:42:53,261 --> 00:42:54,221
Craig!
786
00:43:03,141 --> 00:43:05,021
[engine revs, tyres screech]
787
00:43:10,141 --> 00:43:11,421
[indistinct chatter]
788
00:43:13,421 --> 00:43:14,780
I'd like to propose a toast.
789
00:43:18,820 --> 00:43:19,981
Here's to a good man.
790
00:43:21,061 --> 00:43:22,461
He deserves kind words today...
791
00:43:23,941 --> 00:43:25,181
and eternal happiness.
792
00:43:27,541 --> 00:43:28,581
To Marty's freedom.
793
00:43:29,860 --> 00:43:31,860
-To Marty's freedom!
-To Marty's freedom!
794
00:43:32,621 --> 00:43:36,621
[all cheer]
795
00:43:38,661 --> 00:43:40,421
[Veronica] Congratulations,
Marty boy.
796
00:43:41,621 --> 00:43:42,941
Here you are, Marty, mate.
797
00:43:43,780 --> 00:43:44,701
[Marty] Thanks.
798
00:43:44,780 --> 00:43:45,941
[Craig] Look at her face.
799
00:43:46,021 --> 00:43:47,380
Serves her right for stitching me dad up.
800
00:43:48,061 --> 00:43:49,581
All he wanted was a cremation.
801
00:43:49,661 --> 00:43:51,741
Promised to spread his ashes
on the County pitch.
802
00:43:52,741 --> 00:43:53,701
Burial?
803
00:43:54,141 --> 00:43:55,621
He was fucking claustrophobic.
804
00:43:58,581 --> 00:44:00,021
[Craig] This is all good, isn't it?
805
00:44:03,141 --> 00:44:06,900
[indistinct chatter]
806
00:44:11,340 --> 00:44:13,021
[funeral director] Ladies and gentlemen,
807
00:44:13,101 --> 00:44:14,461
if you'd like to make your way out
808
00:44:14,541 --> 00:44:16,820
to your waiting cars now, please.
809
00:44:16,900 --> 00:44:17,741
[mouths] Thank you.
810
00:44:25,581 --> 00:44:27,860
Jesus fucking Christ.
811
00:44:37,221 --> 00:44:38,741
-[man] Fucking hell.
-Fuck.
812
00:44:40,340 --> 00:44:43,101
[indistinct chatter]
813
00:44:45,221 --> 00:44:46,221
[Lip] Fucking hell.
814
00:44:49,340 --> 00:44:52,860
[indistinct chatter]
815
00:44:54,061 --> 00:44:55,701
[Fiona] Oh, Marty, what have you done?
816
00:45:11,380 --> 00:45:12,581
Craig!
817
00:45:15,141 --> 00:45:17,461
[Kev] What did I tell you?
Fucking spud head.
818
00:45:17,981 --> 00:45:19,860
E-- everyone should go
the way they want to go.
819
00:45:26,501 --> 00:45:28,181
[Craig laughs]
820
00:45:30,261 --> 00:45:31,581
[laughter, cheering]
821
00:45:32,181 --> 00:45:34,101
An hour out of court,
and you're pulling this?
822
00:45:34,661 --> 00:45:36,501
-His dad wanted a cremation.
-[Craig] He did.
823
00:45:37,461 --> 00:45:39,421
Here y'are, get on with that,
our Trace.
824
00:45:40,900 --> 00:45:42,340
[Craig] We should have a drink,
shouldn't we?
825
00:45:42,421 --> 00:45:44,340
-Hey!
-Hey!
826
00:45:44,421 --> 00:45:46,141
I've just had that bastard MOT'd!
827
00:45:46,340 --> 00:45:47,860
[laughter]
828
00:45:49,661 --> 00:45:51,181
Holy camoly!
829
00:45:52,581 --> 00:45:54,820
[Debbie] Thousands of pounds
of cognitive therapy,
830
00:45:55,261 --> 00:45:58,421
and all Marty really wanted
was someone he could love.
831
00:45:59,061 --> 00:46:02,661
Which, when you think about it,
is all anyone really wants.
832
00:46:03,181 --> 00:46:06,221
[all cheering]
833
00:46:16,621 --> 00:46:19,021
-Steve's back.
-[man and woman laughing]
834
00:46:20,621 --> 00:46:25,501
♪ Congratulations
And jubilations ♪
835
00:46:25,581 --> 00:46:26,421
Stop it!
836
00:46:26,501 --> 00:46:30,221
♪ I want the world to know
I'm happy as can be ♪
837
00:46:30,780 --> 00:46:32,820
♪ I want the world to know ♪
838
00:46:33,061 --> 00:46:35,141
[Fiona] Tell him to stay
the fuck away from me,
839
00:46:35,221 --> 00:46:36,621
you, or any of us!
840
00:46:36,701 --> 00:46:40,300
I shot him, okay?
It was me, all right?
841
00:46:40,380 --> 00:46:42,581
[theme music playing]
842
00:47:21,860 --> 00:47:23,261
[birds chirping]
843
00:47:24,541 --> 00:47:25,860
[sheep bleating]
844
00:47:28,181 --> 00:47:29,780
[cow mooing]
845
00:47:32,780 --> 00:47:35,461
-Good morning.
-Morning. [sighs]
846
00:47:35,701 --> 00:47:36,780
[knocking on door]
847
00:47:39,860 --> 00:47:41,300
Thought you might want a brew.
848
00:47:46,421 --> 00:47:48,941
-[dog barking]
-[siren wailing]
58729
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