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1
00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:11,421
[Frank] Now, nobody's saying the
Chatsworth Estate is the garden of Eden,
2
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,500
but it's been a good home to us.
3
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:18,101
To me, Frank Gallagher,
and me kids, who I'm proud of,
4
00:00:18,181 --> 00:00:22,061
'cause every single one of them
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:24,381
-[all gasp]
-They can all think for themselves,
6
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:26,021
which they've me to thank for.
7
00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:27,741
-[Carl] Run! Run for it!
-[Lip] Quick! Leg it!
8
00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:30,620
[Frank] Fiona, who's a massive help.
9
00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:34,900
Lip, who's a bit of a gob shite, which
is why nobody calls him Philip anymore.
10
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:38,461
Ian, a lot like his mam,
which is handy for the others,
11
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,381
'cause she's disappeared into thin air.
12
00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:42,860
And Carl, we daren't let him
grow his hair for two reasons.
13
00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:45,981
One, it stands on end
and makes him look like Toyah,
14
00:00:46,061 --> 00:00:47,220
-two, nits love him.
-[screams]
15
00:00:47,301 --> 00:00:50,741
Debbie! Sent by God. Total angel.
16
00:00:50,821 --> 00:00:54,300
You've to check your change, but she'll go
miles out of her way to do you a favour.
17
00:00:54,381 --> 00:00:55,461
Plus, Liam!
18
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:59,540
Gonna be a star, once we've got
the fits under control.
19
00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:00,501
[screams]
20
00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:03,821
Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier.
21
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:06,301
One plate short of a full set, like.
22
00:01:06,381 --> 00:01:08,861
Fantastic neighbours, Kev and Veronica.
23
00:01:08,941 --> 00:01:11,181
Lend you anything. Well, not anything.
24
00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:15,060
But all of them, to a man,
know first and foremost,
25
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:18,101
one of the most
vital necessities in this life,
26
00:01:18,181 --> 00:01:21,381
is they know how to throw a party!
27
00:01:21,461 --> 00:01:23,541
[laughs] Scatter!
28
00:01:23,621 --> 00:01:25,500
-[music playing]
-[Ian] When you're a Gallagher
29
00:01:25,581 --> 00:01:27,981
it can feel like more shit happens
than the average.
30
00:01:29,341 --> 00:01:32,101
But if you think about it,
shit happening is fact of life.
31
00:01:32,661 --> 00:01:35,181
There's nothing special
about being part of our family.
32
00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:38,140
What really is special
about being a Gallagher?
33
00:01:39,541 --> 00:01:40,941
You'd have to ask Fiona.
34
00:01:41,621 --> 00:01:44,220
A bit of pride, maybe, and something to do
with how you cope
35
00:01:44,301 --> 00:01:45,621
when it all hits the fan.
36
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,220
Especially if you're standing
right in front of it at the time.
37
00:01:48,301 --> 00:01:49,140
[indistinct yelling]
38
00:01:49,220 --> 00:01:52,021
The thing I really rated about Fiona was
the way she didn't even bother to duck.
39
00:01:52,101 --> 00:01:54,140
Ey, now, I wouldn't kick him
out of bed for a wet fart.
40
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,621
Nah. He's not my type.
41
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,941
Bollocks! He's everyone's type, him!
He's a fucking classic!
42
00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:00,741
I think I'm all right, thanks.
43
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,060
-[Ryan] Fancy a drink, then?
-I'd love one.
44
00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:05,741
-[women laughing]
-[music playing]
45
00:02:06,661 --> 00:02:09,181
-Yes, mate?
-Two Manila coladas, please.
46
00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:11,260
Right. Oh, we've run out of Manila,
47
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,061
I can do em' with rum.
48
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,901
You're all right, mate.
I'll have them without.
49
00:02:17,061 --> 00:02:18,781
Two Manila coladas without the Manila?
50
00:02:18,861 --> 00:02:20,260
-Yeah.
-[Jez] Fucking ladies' night
51
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,221
this is and not a chick in the room.
52
00:02:22,781 --> 00:02:24,741
-[Fiona] Hmm.
-Uh, name?
53
00:02:25,181 --> 00:02:26,021
Ryan.
54
00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:28,861
-He's a footballer.
-[indistinct chatter]
55
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,621
-Fuck off!
-[laughs]
56
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:33,621
Fucking hell!
He's not Ryan Giggs, is he?
57
00:02:33,701 --> 00:02:35,941
Veronica, you have seen him.
58
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:37,661
-[toilet flushes]
-Oh, yeah.
59
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:41,781
-[laughs]
-Only Sunday League. Mm.
60
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:45,781
-Still, fit as arseholes.
-[woman] Got a spare tampon?
61
00:02:46,181 --> 00:02:48,141
Oh. Hang on.
62
00:02:48,221 --> 00:02:49,380
[door opens]
63
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,421
-Ha ha!
-[indistinct chatter]
64
00:02:51,501 --> 00:02:52,461
[woman 2] I feel sick.
65
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:56,061
[woman 1] Come on then, let's go,
while they're still serving.
66
00:02:57,141 --> 00:02:58,100
[door closes]
67
00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:07,301
[snoring]
68
00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:10,901
[pants]
69
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,181
[phone rings]
70
00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:15,741
-[continues ringing]
-[sighs] Hello.
71
00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:19,461
How the fuck did that happen?
72
00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:25,021
The fuck did Fiona end up
with Joey Dawson?
73
00:03:25,941 --> 00:03:27,061
Joey Dawson?
74
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,901
Joey.
75
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,781
Oh... Joey.
76
00:03:36,061 --> 00:03:38,100
-Oh, fuck!
-What was he like, then?
77
00:03:38,181 --> 00:03:40,501
[both moaning]
78
00:03:40,581 --> 00:03:43,140
[moans, roars]
79
00:03:43,221 --> 00:03:45,820
-Oh, fuck!
-Didn't think he would be.
80
00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:48,100
Veronica, I don't think
we used anything.
81
00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:51,181
-I thought you were on the pill?
-When l was with Steve, yeah.
82
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:53,061
Half a packet now, half a packet later.
83
00:03:53,861 --> 00:03:55,621
Works the same
as the morning-after pill.
84
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:59,380
[indistinct chatter]
85
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,260
-[Joey] Oh.
-[Liam laughs] Wake up!
86
00:04:03,341 --> 00:04:04,781
-[Fiona] Liam!
-[Joey grunts]
87
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,061
-[Liam chuckling]
-Morning.
88
00:04:07,941 --> 00:04:08,781
[slurping]
89
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:10,540
[man on TV] It's your chance
to phone in this morning
90
00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:14,021
and the topic is sexually
transmitted diseases.
91
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,221
So, we've got...
92
00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:19,420
-[Ian] With Joey Dawson?
-[Lip chuckles]
93
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,060
Don't bother. I can guarantee
it won't be funny.
94
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:25,381
[indistinct chatter on TV]
95
00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:28,221
-You went to bed with our Fiona?
-Get me...
96
00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:31,381
Fuck.
97
00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:34,060
You went to bed with him?
98
00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:37,301
It happens, Carl.
Do you want some toast?
99
00:04:38,021 --> 00:04:39,701
Two slices, my darling.
100
00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:42,861
-What's happened?
-Fiona had sexual intercourse
101
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:44,781
-with Joey Dawson.
-Debbie!
102
00:04:44,861 --> 00:04:47,821
[Debbie] That's what Mrs Henderson
calls it in Health and Society.
103
00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:51,541
She says it's immature
to use the other words.
104
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:53,180
Looks like he shagged you ragged.
105
00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:55,141
Can we all just change
the fucking record.
106
00:04:55,221 --> 00:04:57,581
-[thud]
-[Joey screams]
107
00:04:58,101 --> 00:05:00,261
Shit. Marty!
108
00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:05,180
He trapped me arm
in the fuckin' door!
109
00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:08,421
Cold compress.
That's what Veronica always says.
110
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,701
Go and get a flannel.
111
00:05:09,781 --> 00:05:11,701
I don't know what you think
you're playing at, Marty.
112
00:05:16,261 --> 00:05:17,221
Liam!
113
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,141
[Ian] Hurry up!
114
00:05:20,861 --> 00:05:22,500
-[Joey grunts]
-[pants]
115
00:05:22,581 --> 00:05:24,981
-[Joey groans]
-[car engine starts]
116
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,781
-[Ian] Go, go!
-What?
117
00:05:26,861 --> 00:05:30,421
-The gears. I can't--
-Hurry up! God's sake!
118
00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:40,661
-Blood group?
-AB, AB,
119
00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:45,500
A, AB positive, O, B positive.
120
00:05:45,581 --> 00:05:48,341
-I don't know yours.
-[doctor] There we go, Liam.
121
00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:49,821
A few minutes.
Then you can go home
122
00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,821
-with Mummy and Daddy. Yeah?
-Oh, no. We're not--
123
00:05:51,901 --> 00:05:53,901
[doctor] No more taking Mummy's tablets.
124
00:05:54,541 --> 00:05:56,261
Like I say, we got everything
out of him in time
125
00:05:56,341 --> 00:05:58,461
and hormones
aren't immediately dangerous.
126
00:05:58,541 --> 00:05:59,821
Worst case scenario...
127
00:06:00,341 --> 00:06:01,981
probably be him growing a pair of tits.
128
00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:05,060
[chuckles, winces]
129
00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:06,701
God's sake!
130
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:09,060
If you're that worried about it,
why don't you get an X-ray?
131
00:06:10,141 --> 00:06:11,261
[Debbie] Go on, ask me.
132
00:06:11,341 --> 00:06:14,661
I remember every single Christmas prezzie
for the last eight years.
133
00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:18,380
-I'm really sorry, Joey.
-1998.
134
00:06:18,581 --> 00:06:22,661
Christmas 1998.
He-Man mega-fighter,
135
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:25,421
Kylie CDs,
selection box from Dad.
136
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,781
Skateboard, Louise CD,
selection box from Dad.
137
00:06:30,221 --> 00:06:34,021
Tinky Winky, Babe video,
selection box from Dad.
138
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,500
-Right. I'll see you then.
-[bus door opens]
139
00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:40,301
I didn't know you lived round here.
140
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,541
Extension on Lyle Close.
Finishing off, like.
141
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:44,820
[Debbie] Told you,
142
00:06:45,221 --> 00:06:48,060
I can do every Christmas present
since 1995.
143
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,341
Yeah, but you got
the blood groups wrong, freak.
144
00:06:50,421 --> 00:06:52,581
-[Debbie] No, I didn't.
-How much?
145
00:06:58,421 --> 00:06:59,461
[sighs]
146
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,781
At least
it's not his plastering arm.
147
00:07:03,541 --> 00:07:05,781
-[Ian chuckles]
-AB, A,
148
00:07:06,341 --> 00:07:08,620
-AB, B, O.
-[Ian chuckles]
149
00:07:08,701 --> 00:07:09,661
[music playing on TV]
150
00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,461
I prefer the new notes
from the cash machine.
151
00:07:13,301 --> 00:07:15,301
Debbie, look.
Somebody's cocked up.
152
00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:17,341
You'll do this in biology.
153
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,380
You need two Os.
154
00:07:21,461 --> 00:07:23,740
One from each parent to be just O.
155
00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:26,541
O's recessive, which means
156
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:28,500
somebody's got
Ian's blood group wrong,
157
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:29,940
which means you're wrong,
158
00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:31,901
which means I'm not liable for ten quid.
159
00:07:31,981 --> 00:07:35,060
-Doesn't have to mean that.
-Yes, it does.
160
00:07:35,141 --> 00:07:37,901
It could mean that Dad's not Ian's dad.
Duh!
161
00:07:37,981 --> 00:07:39,221
[Ian chuckles]
162
00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:41,260
What?
163
00:07:42,221 --> 00:07:43,581
[knocking on door]
164
00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,021
Can someone get that?
165
00:07:46,101 --> 00:07:49,301
Uh-uh. Oh, Liam, love,
give it to me.
166
00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,021
Have you got any aspirin at yours?
167
00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:53,060
I've still got a head
like a fucking drill.
168
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,260
-This not a good time?
-She wants to talk to Mum.
169
00:07:57,141 --> 00:07:58,541
I'm from the health visiting team.
170
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,820
The hospital contacted us
about Liam's overdose.
171
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:04,180
Don't do that, Liam.
It wasn't really an overdose.
172
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:07,141
Oh, I know. Their word, not mine.
It's just a follow-up.
173
00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:09,101
Your mum not in, then?
Or your dad.
174
00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:10,541
We try not to be sexist.
175
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:12,820
Uh, no, no.
Not at the minute, no.
176
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:15,661
But I am Liam's sister,
so l can answer any questions.
177
00:08:16,341 --> 00:08:17,581
Gallagher. [chuckles]
178
00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:19,421
Thought it might be.
179
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:21,820
You don't remember me, do you?
180
00:08:23,341 --> 00:08:24,901
Katrina Webb, from school?
181
00:08:26,861 --> 00:08:27,700
Katrina.
182
00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:29,620
[chuckles] It's all right, you can say it.
183
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:33,021
-The sperm whale.
-You have lost a fucking tonne!
184
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,621
Quick Slim.
A filling shake for breakfast,
185
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,021
a tasty soup for lunch,
and then a sensible tea.
186
00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,060
For three-and-a-half years.
187
00:08:41,261 --> 00:08:42,301
Fiona Gallagher.
188
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:45,261
Bet you never thought the sperm whale
would be a health professional, eh?
189
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,421
Okay if I have a look at your brother?
190
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:53,181
Just my fucking luck, them sending her.
191
00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:55,460
She's all right, isn't she, Sperm Whale?
192
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,861
-Veronica, I gave her that name.
-Nice one.
193
00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:04,741
She hated my guts at school,
194
00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:07,581
'cause I snogged
a boy she fancied. Ricky Parr.
195
00:09:08,261 --> 00:09:11,741
I tell you, little bit of power,
she'll be loving this.
196
00:09:11,941 --> 00:09:12,980
Right as rain.
197
00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:15,941
To be honest, I'm surprised you're still
living at home, Fiona.
198
00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:17,781
Thought you would've been
married by now.
199
00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:19,901
Yeah, well, you and me both.
[chuckles]
200
00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:21,941
-Oh, what about you?
-[giggles]
201
00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:24,421
[Fiona] Engaged. Lovely.
202
00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:26,340
Yeah. I've got a venue booked for August.
203
00:09:26,421 --> 00:09:29,621
We're having a Lord of The Rings theme,
except it'll be wedding rings, obviously.
204
00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:31,501
Hobbits for pageboys, dead cute.
205
00:09:31,581 --> 00:09:34,501
Oh! Hang about.
I'm remembering now.
206
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:38,181
I did a visit
when Chantelle Harrison had her third,
207
00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:40,901
and she said to me that your mum
had turned into a lesbian
208
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,220
and run off with another woman.
209
00:09:44,181 --> 00:09:45,141
Chantelle?
210
00:09:45,941 --> 00:09:47,460
Must have been the smack talking.
211
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:52,261
-You take care, Liam, yeah?
-Yeah.
212
00:09:52,821 --> 00:09:55,421
-Carl kicked me.
-Did he?
213
00:09:56,301 --> 00:09:57,581
It was an accident. [chuckles]
214
00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:00,821
-Nightmare. Kids, eh? [chuckles]
-Yeah.
215
00:10:01,621 --> 00:10:03,541
Well, it was good to see you, Katrina.
216
00:10:03,621 --> 00:10:05,021
Good luck with the wedding
and everything.
217
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,141
Who's the lucky fella?
What's his name?
218
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:08,860
Joey. Joey Dawson.
219
00:10:09,381 --> 00:10:13,021
Mrs Dawson. [gasps]
Fucking weird, eh? See ya!
220
00:10:15,261 --> 00:10:16,340
I'm not kidding.
221
00:10:16,421 --> 00:10:18,621
She finds out I slept with Joey,
l am dead!
222
00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:20,301
[Kev] Promise me these are staying on.
223
00:10:20,381 --> 00:10:22,821
-[Veronica] What are you like?
-No tits, do you promise me?
224
00:10:22,901 --> 00:10:24,701
Cross me heart and hope to die.
225
00:10:24,781 --> 00:10:28,301
-[doorbell rings]
-[Veronica whistles]
226
00:10:28,381 --> 00:10:31,860
Whoa! Cross me knockers.
Get 40 quid extra for topless.
227
00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:33,860
Can you think of a rhyme
with estate agent?
228
00:10:33,941 --> 00:10:35,781
-What?
-Birthday boy.
229
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,301
He's an estate agent. Shaun.
230
00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:42,661
You're mental, you!
How's she gonna find out?
231
00:10:42,741 --> 00:10:44,421
Joey's not gonna tell her,
you're not gonna tell her.
232
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:48,021
It's like it never fucking happened.
233
00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:51,541
-It's Joey and his girlfriend.
-Shit!
234
00:10:52,061 --> 00:10:53,541
He's come for the van keys.
235
00:10:54,581 --> 00:10:57,181
You know, that he left here
last night when he crashed out
236
00:10:57,261 --> 00:10:59,701
'cause he'd had a few too many
before he slipped in the shower
237
00:10:59,781 --> 00:11:00,980
and broke his arm.
238
00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:03,740
She wants to know why we
haven't got one of them mats?
239
00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:04,661
We have!
240
00:11:06,261 --> 00:11:07,220
Keys!
241
00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:12,821
Liam had them when we got back
from the hospital.
242
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,701
They're in our house somewhere.
Kitchen table.
243
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:17,421
Keep her talking, yeah?
244
00:11:19,141 --> 00:11:21,061
Keys! Keys! Where could they be?
245
00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:25,980
[Kev] Veronica's had a bit of a tidy-up.
246
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,701
-It's always the way, innit?
-[indistinct yelling]
247
00:11:27,781 --> 00:11:29,821
I told shit-for-brains he were lucky
you were around
248
00:11:29,901 --> 00:11:31,781
to get him out the shower and drive
him to the hospital, didn't I?
249
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:33,460
-[Joey] Mm.
-Oh, he's worse than a bloody kid.
250
00:11:33,541 --> 00:11:35,261
Can't let him out me sight, can l?
Can l, eh?
251
00:11:35,941 --> 00:11:38,141
And you're lucky he's not suing you
for loss of business.
252
00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:39,740
Well, it's not his plastering arm, is it?
253
00:11:47,621 --> 00:11:50,581
[sighs] ls it me, or has it turned a bit?
254
00:11:56,181 --> 00:11:57,261
Psst! Psst!
255
00:11:59,381 --> 00:12:00,541
[keys jingling]
256
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:08,100
So, Veronica says that
you used to be really, really fat.
257
00:12:08,581 --> 00:12:10,621
[laughs] Ta-da! [sighs]
258
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,980
[Katrina] Kylie's had to get two buses
to get to her self-defence,
259
00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:20,141
'cause you couldn't drive her.
She had a do on the number 12.
260
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,460
Forgot her inhaler.
She could be dead, Joey!
261
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:23,740
Bet you didn't think of that.
262
00:12:24,381 --> 00:12:25,941
Oh, thanks, Kev. Saved my life.
263
00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,661
See. I told you. Over-reaction.
264
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,980
[sighs] What?
265
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,701
You're not my dad.
266
00:12:50,781 --> 00:12:52,021
Fuck have I done now?
267
00:12:52,301 --> 00:12:55,460
Type O blood I've got,
so you can't be my real dad.
268
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,821
It's scientifically impossible.
269
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,501
Of course I'm your fucking dad.
270
00:13:02,941 --> 00:13:05,381
Frank Gallagher
does not fire blanks, Ian.
271
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:08,261
More's the pity.
I can remember it clear as day.
272
00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:12,781
1987, 'cause they'd just stopped me
claiming for me urticaria.
273
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:15,021
Doctor said it was
a fucking shaving rash.
274
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,661
How do they sleep at night?
275
00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,821
Coming to terms
with living with a disability,
276
00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:22,980
no support from the fuckin' state,
then bang, ''I'm late again, Frank.''
277
00:13:23,061 --> 00:13:24,941
Whatever you say about Monica,
278
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,620
she didn't look at another fella.
279
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:31,541
You know, not until she went off
with... Norma. No need.
280
00:13:32,941 --> 00:13:35,821
-It were 1989.
-[Frank] That's what I mean.
281
00:13:37,061 --> 00:13:38,501
All right, 19...
282
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:40,980
80...
283
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,701
Gary Bennett.
284
00:13:48,141 --> 00:13:49,100
Fucker.
285
00:13:51,301 --> 00:13:52,141
[Ian sighs]
286
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:03,581
[thud]
287
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:05,941
She had a Saturday job
in an offie.
288
00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:10,620
They were too fucking tight
to give her a discount, so no point...
289
00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:15,581
[sighs] ...but she made out
it gave her a bit of independence.
290
00:14:16,261 --> 00:14:17,661
He was the manager.
291
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:20,021
"Gary listens to me, Frank.''
Yeah, well...
292
00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:23,181
We can all listen to them when we want
to give them one, can't we?
293
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:24,581
So it's true?
294
00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:26,141
[Frank] Falls into place, don't it?
295
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:28,021
[sighs] Betrayal.
296
00:14:29,141 --> 00:14:31,541
All the way down the fucking line.
297
00:14:34,301 --> 00:14:37,100
How sharper than a serpent's tooth...
298
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,340
No, listen, right.
299
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:44,980
W-- Whatever that tosspot did
to your mum,
300
00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:47,860
you are still my son.
301
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:50,860
You're all my kids.
302
00:14:52,821 --> 00:14:54,421
Even a gobshite like Lip.
303
00:14:55,541 --> 00:14:56,541
[door creaks, closes]
304
00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:01,301
Yes!
305
00:15:09,061 --> 00:15:11,381
[indistinct chatter on TV]
306
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:12,460
Here, remembered.
307
00:15:13,381 --> 00:15:14,901
And I need a sombrero and a guitar.
308
00:15:15,301 --> 00:15:16,141
For netball?
309
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,061
[Debbie] We're making a short film
in media studies.
310
00:15:18,141 --> 00:15:19,860
I'm a Mexican street musician.
311
00:15:20,301 --> 00:15:22,701
-Liam, shoes on, sweetheart.
-[phone beeping]
312
00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:23,661
I need to get hold of Mum.
313
00:15:24,141 --> 00:15:25,541
[Ian] She's not there, I just tried.
314
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:28,100
Answer machine says
they're away till the 22nd.
315
00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:29,701
-Shit.
-[Lip] What's up?
316
00:15:30,141 --> 00:15:32,301
Social services want to visit.
317
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:35,220
See if Liam's being looked after
properly...
318
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,941
-by Mum or Dad.
-[Ian] Shit!
319
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,941
[indistinct chatter on TV]
320
00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,141
What were you doing
calling Mum, anyway?
321
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,781
Oh, he's trying to find his real dad.
322
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,781
-What?
-[Carl] Frank's not his dad.
323
00:15:47,061 --> 00:15:49,381
-Gary Bennett is.
-[Fiona] Gary Bennett?
324
00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:52,781
How long have you lot known about this?
325
00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:56,740
[sighs] There.
It's me best shot.
326
00:15:56,821 --> 00:15:57,661
[giggles]
327
00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,220
Ian.
328
00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:04,380
-You're full of surprises.
-Look, I've just found out.
329
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:07,620
Dad reckons it were the manager of this
offie where Mum had a Saturday job.
330
00:16:08,581 --> 00:16:10,620
Offie in Eccles. Yeah.
Think I remember.
331
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:12,141
I were gonna tell you. Honest.
332
00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:14,980
-You want to find him?
-Yeah.
333
00:16:15,301 --> 00:16:17,581
Why? We're your family.
334
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,541
-ls it about the other thing?
-No.
335
00:16:23,661 --> 00:16:26,021
-[knocking on door]
-[doorbell rings]
336
00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:27,661
[Katrina] Hiya.
337
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:30,821
Just come off a visit up the road.
338
00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:32,141
Post-natal depression.
339
00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:34,181
Social services been in touch yet?
340
00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:38,220
Uh, we got a letter from them
this morning.
341
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:39,380
Well, I mean, Mum did.
342
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:40,821
I bet she's shitting herself, isn't she?
343
00:16:41,661 --> 00:16:42,581
Just kidding.
344
00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:46,061
Tell her, as long as she turns up sober
and remembers your brother's name,
345
00:16:46,141 --> 00:16:48,340
we'll tick all the boxes.
[gasps] I tell you what,
346
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:50,100
are you around at dinner time
for a drink?
347
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:52,581
Oh. Uh...
348
00:16:53,581 --> 00:16:55,141
I've got a lot on today,
as it happens.
349
00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:56,941
I could give you a few tips
about the interview,
350
00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,100
I mean, it helps to know
who you're dealing with and that.
351
00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:00,740
Friends in high places.
352
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,620
I will be there, you know.
353
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,541
And we still haven't had
a chance to catch up properly, have we?
354
00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:07,180
No.
355
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:10,461
Yeah. Go on then. Why not?
356
00:17:10,701 --> 00:17:13,860
Great! Look forward to it.
Jockey's your local, in't it?
357
00:17:14,541 --> 00:17:16,100
[Veronica] Can't you just
tell her the truth?
358
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,021
"Look, Katrina,
I told a bit of a white lie
359
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,501
about my mum and dad living at home,
and now it's got out of hand."
360
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,021
[Fiona] Oh, yeah, she'll understand.
361
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,380
I may as well get it all off me chest
362
00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,021
and tell her I shagged Joey
while I'm at it!
363
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,581
Oh, can't you put it off
until Monica comes back from holiday?
364
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:30,221
And say what? Dad's looking after the kids
while she's away?
365
00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:31,781
The last thing we want
is social services
366
00:17:31,861 --> 00:17:33,301
turning up to talk
to fucking Frank.
367
00:17:33,381 --> 00:17:35,741
-Oh, yeah, right.
-[Carol talking indistinctly]
368
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,660
[Fiona] I mean, as far as
the authorities are concerned,
369
00:17:37,741 --> 00:17:38,900
Dad's dead, isn't he?
-[door closes]
370
00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:40,900
It's not like
I'm even Liam's legal guardian.
371
00:17:41,341 --> 00:17:44,381
[Carol] What are you playing at?
372
00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:46,261
You've been on there
nearly half-an-hour.
373
00:17:46,341 --> 00:17:48,221
One eighty a minute
they're charging, Mum.
374
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,141
She's got a gift, Veronica.
375
00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:51,940
She's helping me with my arthritis.
376
00:17:52,021 --> 00:17:55,101
You haven't got fucking arthritis.
377
00:17:57,981 --> 00:18:00,221
I wish she'd keep an open mind.
378
00:18:00,541 --> 00:18:04,621
She even knew about Kev
losing the remote for the telly.
379
00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:07,940
Bollocks she did. She's messing
with your head, Mum.
380
00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:11,221
Fiona, will you get a grip?
381
00:18:11,821 --> 00:18:13,621
So, you're not officially Liam's guardian.
382
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:16,660
You're over 21, you're a better fucking
mum than Monica ever was.
383
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:20,621
Go down the Jockey, see Katrina
and sort it out, will ya?
384
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,061
You're right.
385
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:24,981
You're right.
386
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,660
What's the worst
that can happen? [chuckles]
387
00:18:27,741 --> 00:18:28,660
I love you, Fiona.
388
00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,461
Fuck's sake, Joey.
389
00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:33,261
I mean...
390
00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:36,021
I just mean... you don't.
391
00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:37,781
-You can't.
-I do.
392
00:18:37,861 --> 00:18:40,900
You're engaged.
You don't even know me.
393
00:18:41,581 --> 00:18:43,061
And we were both totally mashed.
394
00:18:43,141 --> 00:18:44,381
You were.
395
00:18:44,861 --> 00:18:46,621
I was on pineapple juice all night.
396
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,101
Oh, shit, Joey.
397
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:51,341
-Please. Please.
-I love you.
398
00:18:51,741 --> 00:18:54,741
Oh, listen to him.
I love you, too, honey bunny.
399
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:59,741
So... what do you think, eh?
Mr and Mrs Dawson.
400
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:02,261
Can't believe you're still single, Fiona.
401
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,660
-Can you, Joey?
-No.
402
00:19:04,581 --> 00:19:07,981
[Katrina] So, what's this deep dark secret
you wanted to tell me, eh?
403
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:09,821
It's not about Ricky Parr, is it?
404
00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:12,261
Oh, no, no, nothing like that.
[chuckles]
405
00:19:12,341 --> 00:19:13,180
It's...
406
00:19:14,341 --> 00:19:15,621
Well, it's silly, really.
407
00:19:16,261 --> 00:19:18,221
I mean, I didn't realise
it was you at first
408
00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:20,341
when you came to the house
to see our Liam.
409
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,501
And it's more automatic
than anything.
410
00:19:22,581 --> 00:19:25,821
Hey. Secret admirer over there.
411
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,900
Hello.
412
00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:31,940
-You know him?
-Well, to talk to. [chuckles]
413
00:19:33,141 --> 00:19:35,141
I were just saying,
she could do with a fella.
414
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:38,061
Could you?
'Cause last time I saw you,
415
00:19:38,141 --> 00:19:39,461
you weren't going short, like.
416
00:19:40,141 --> 00:19:41,180
[Katrina] Dirty mare!
417
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,221
We're trying to fix her up,
if you're interested.
418
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:49,141
Sorry, mate, I didn't realise.
419
00:19:49,781 --> 00:19:51,301
-I was just having a laugh.
-[Katrina] What--
420
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,061
No, he's with me, you daft pillock.
421
00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:58,021
Oh, I just thought, you know,
'cause youse two were getting...
422
00:19:58,621 --> 00:20:01,101
Oh... right.
423
00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:11,301
It weren't me.
424
00:20:13,101 --> 00:20:14,940
-Kev!
-[indistinct yelling] Gallagher!
425
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:16,221
Oh.
426
00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:20,141
[door creaks]
427
00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:28,781
Just listen, yeah?
I swear it was a mistake.
428
00:20:29,301 --> 00:20:31,660
I was hammered.
I don't even fancy him!
429
00:20:31,741 --> 00:20:33,061
[Katrina] Oh, no,
430
00:20:33,141 --> 00:20:34,900
'cause the sperm whale's boyfriend
431
00:20:34,981 --> 00:20:36,821
wouldn't be good enough
for Fiona fucking Gallagher.
432
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:40,981
Fiona fucking Gallagher can just take
whatever she likes. Little...
433
00:20:42,301 --> 00:20:44,821
fucking Princess Skinny Arse!
434
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:49,940
Katrina...
435
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:52,900
all that stuff...
436
00:20:53,621 --> 00:20:56,940
-we were kids, for God's sake.
-Think that's an excuse?
437
00:20:57,621 --> 00:20:58,981
Think I've fucking forgotten?
438
00:20:59,581 --> 00:21:03,541
-Sperm Whale!
-Okay. I'm sorry.
439
00:21:04,381 --> 00:21:07,461
But Chatsworth Comp, it was
the law of the jungle down there.
440
00:21:07,781 --> 00:21:09,621
Think you were the only one
who went through it?
441
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,420
Yeah, you were fat, and the lads used you
as a spunk bucket.
442
00:21:15,101 --> 00:21:16,420
We weren't very nice to you.
443
00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:18,381
But you know what...
444
00:21:19,021 --> 00:21:20,141
neither were you.
445
00:21:21,341 --> 00:21:23,180
Pov Gallagher, remember that?
446
00:21:24,221 --> 00:21:26,861
"Oh, that same skirt you've been wearing
since year seven, Pov?"
447
00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:29,021
"Can't afford to go
on the school trip, Pov?"
448
00:21:29,741 --> 00:21:32,101
"Oh. Check your change,
Pov's here."
449
00:21:33,061 --> 00:21:35,541
Plenty of times
I cried meself to sleep...
450
00:21:36,781 --> 00:21:40,221
so don't you make out you were
Princess fucking Di, Katrina.
451
00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:46,381
Right. A bit of advice.
452
00:21:47,341 --> 00:21:49,861
Stay away from my fiancé.
453
00:21:50,781 --> 00:21:51,940
And tell your family...
454
00:21:52,781 --> 00:21:55,101
they'd better put their best foot forward
at that interview
455
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:58,101
or I'll have your little shit arse of
a brother taken into care so quick...
456
00:21:59,061 --> 00:22:00,261
he won't know what hit him.
457
00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:02,021
Okay?
458
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:03,781
Pov!
459
00:22:05,861 --> 00:22:07,101
[door opens]
460
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,180
And you can start saying your prayers
and all, you little twat!
461
00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:12,420
[screams]
462
00:22:13,381 --> 00:22:17,101
[phone ringing]
463
00:22:20,341 --> 00:22:23,541
[keyboard clacking]
464
00:22:25,621 --> 00:22:26,660
Nipples.
465
00:22:26,741 --> 00:22:29,581
[clacking continues]
466
00:22:30,581 --> 00:22:33,180
Must help to have big ones,
you know, when they're feeding.
467
00:22:41,301 --> 00:22:42,221
Must be...
468
00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,460
It must t-- toughen them up,
469
00:22:46,141 --> 00:22:47,460
all that... [imitates sucking]
470
00:22:48,021 --> 00:22:49,501
[receptionist] Excuse me, can I help you?
471
00:22:50,341 --> 00:22:51,940
[Frank] Yeah, I've come
for the vouchers, love,
472
00:22:52,021 --> 00:22:54,261
-for formula.
-[phone ringing]
473
00:22:54,341 --> 00:22:57,541
Uh, the name's Gallagher.
Nigel and Delia.
474
00:22:57,621 --> 00:23:00,101
[keyboard clacking]
475
00:23:00,301 --> 00:23:01,981
Sorry, we've got Gallagher, Philip,
476
00:23:02,501 --> 00:23:04,741
and Gallagher, Ian,
Gallagher, Deborah.
477
00:23:05,261 --> 00:23:08,541
Oh, they'll be
under their mum's address, Eldon Way.
478
00:23:12,021 --> 00:23:14,981
Fuck off! I swap you that for that?
479
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,381
-The difference comes out my wages.
-But they're unopened.
480
00:23:19,221 --> 00:23:20,141
Good as new.
481
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:22,621
I've got a fuckin' arrangement.
Ask Yvonne!
482
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:25,101
You'd better talk to her, then.
She'll be in at teatime.
483
00:23:25,501 --> 00:23:27,381
Oh, blood will out.
484
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,501
Gary Bennett.
485
00:23:30,460 --> 00:23:33,341
Eh? He wouldn't give your mam
a fucking discount at the offie.
486
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:35,781
Eh? Eh? Mingy little twat.
487
00:23:35,861 --> 00:23:37,581
Yeah, well, I'll mention
that to him when I see him.
488
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:40,341
It was Eccles. Fiona told me.
489
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,460
So there's nothing to stop me
finding him, is there?
490
00:23:43,061 --> 00:23:44,501
Yeah, well,
fuck off to Eccles, then!
491
00:23:44,581 --> 00:23:46,420
-You fuckin' deserve each other.
-[bell dings]
492
00:23:47,541 --> 00:23:48,981
-[door closes]
-You serious?
493
00:23:49,821 --> 00:23:51,261
-You gonna go?
-Yeah.
494
00:23:53,341 --> 00:23:54,621
There's two in the phone book.
495
00:23:56,221 --> 00:23:57,261
Debbie looked it up.
496
00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:00,821
Go for it. All that counts
in the end, family.
497
00:24:02,101 --> 00:24:02,940
Cheers.
498
00:24:03,301 --> 00:24:05,420
-You know what I meant.
-[bell dings]
499
00:24:05,501 --> 00:24:06,741
People don't realise.
500
00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:09,581
Leave it to dry,
and it's as good as new. Practically.
501
00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,261
I haven't bought a new roll
for three years.
502
00:24:13,141 --> 00:24:14,460
I'm not a lesbian, Fiona.
503
00:24:15,341 --> 00:24:16,981
I mean, I think everyone's got tendencies,
504
00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:19,341
-but...
You don't need to be,
505
00:24:19,420 --> 00:24:20,460
'cause you'll be pretending.
506
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,221
Like playing a part, acting.
507
00:24:25,861 --> 00:24:27,621
-Acting?
-Yeah.
508
00:24:27,981 --> 00:24:30,821
You'll be you, but you'll say
that you're our mum...
509
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:34,621
'cause we think of you
like our mum anyway, don't we?
510
00:24:37,981 --> 00:24:39,501
It sets you thinking though, don't it?
511
00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:41,900
Like, when...
512
00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:44,420
When you imagine
if you hadn't been born...
513
00:24:45,581 --> 00:24:47,900
and someone else had met Frank. [sobs]
514
00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:52,180
Nigel and Delia
hadn't been born either. [sobs]
515
00:24:52,261 --> 00:24:53,660
-Oh.
-[Sheila] I'm sorry.
516
00:24:54,061 --> 00:24:56,341
I'm sorry. [sobs]
517
00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:59,180
[sobbing]
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
518
00:24:59,261 --> 00:25:01,341
[sobbing] They've adjusted my Seroxin.
519
00:25:01,821 --> 00:25:05,101
It makes you ever so constipated
as well. [sobs]
520
00:25:05,180 --> 00:25:07,900
[sobbing]
521
00:25:07,981 --> 00:25:11,741
[indistinct chatter]
522
00:25:13,581 --> 00:25:18,261
[Veronica talking indistinctly]
523
00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:20,541
Come on, you lot.
We need all hands on deck.
524
00:25:21,301 --> 00:25:23,101
-[Carl groans]
-[Veronica] Keep him still, Mum.
525
00:25:23,180 --> 00:25:25,660
-[Carl groans]
-[Carol] Stop it.
526
00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:27,621
-[Carl groans]
-What's wrong?
527
00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:29,981
-[screams]
-He dared me.
528
00:25:30,341 --> 00:25:32,660
We're lucky the house
didn't go up, rubbish he eats.
529
00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:34,381
-Ball bag.
-Lighting farts.
530
00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:36,301
Got too close to the lighter.
531
00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:39,101
-[screams]
-Oh, don't be such a bloody baby!
532
00:25:39,180 --> 00:25:41,180
-It's only a bit of Vaseline.
-Where's Lip?
533
00:25:41,261 --> 00:25:44,061
[footsteps approaching]
534
00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:46,180
[exhales]
535
00:25:46,940 --> 00:25:49,141
-Anyone got munchies?
-Good night, was it?
536
00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:52,261
You knew Ian was working.
537
00:25:53,741 --> 00:25:55,180
Carol said she'd look in.
538
00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:57,861
She did come really,
really quickly when we shouted.
539
00:26:02,021 --> 00:26:02,940
What's up with him?
540
00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:05,781
Come on, sweetheart.
It's past your bedtime.
541
00:26:14,180 --> 00:26:16,180
-[door closes]
-[spoon clanks]
542
00:26:17,141 --> 00:26:18,700
[slurred] Where the fuck is Sheila?
543
00:26:18,781 --> 00:26:20,460
[Fiona] You're not at Sheila's, Dad.
544
00:26:21,341 --> 00:26:24,861
-Dad, bathroom!
-Don't fucking touch me.
545
00:26:24,940 --> 00:26:28,021
-[groans]
-[mumbles] Eccles.
546
00:26:29,061 --> 00:26:30,660
You told him, didn't ya?
547
00:26:31,220 --> 00:26:32,621
You in on it an' all, Fiona?
548
00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:34,781
-Yeah, yeah, whatever.
-Yeah, whatever.
549
00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:37,541
You're all the fucking same
like your fucking mother.
550
00:26:37,621 --> 00:26:39,261
-Don't touch--
-[Fiona groans]
551
00:26:40,061 --> 00:26:42,541
-[groans]
-Piss yourself, then!
552
00:26:42,821 --> 00:26:44,660
-[Lip] What's going on?
-Fuckin' piss yourself!
553
00:26:44,741 --> 00:26:46,460
-[Lip] What's he done?
-[panting]
554
00:26:46,541 --> 00:26:50,700
Fuckin' get him out of here, Lip, or
I swear I'll fucking kill him! Wanker!
555
00:26:51,821 --> 00:26:53,940
[Frank] Smells of
fucking changing rooms.
556
00:26:54,021 --> 00:26:54,981
[Fiona sighs]
557
00:26:56,220 --> 00:26:57,101
Bastard.
558
00:26:57,981 --> 00:26:59,301
[Fiona] Did he piss himself?
559
00:27:00,261 --> 00:27:03,021
[Lip] No. Got him to the bog in time.
560
00:27:03,261 --> 00:27:04,940
[Fiona] Frank Gallagher's
proudest achievement.
561
00:27:05,021 --> 00:27:06,940
He got to the bog in time.
562
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:09,261
Puked on the carpet, though.
563
00:27:10,821 --> 00:27:11,781
-[Lip chuckles]
-[sighs]
564
00:27:13,741 --> 00:27:15,621
You really don't want Ian
to find him, do you?
565
00:27:16,381 --> 00:27:18,460
Gary what's-his-face.
566
00:27:19,021 --> 00:27:19,940
Up to him.
567
00:27:21,301 --> 00:27:23,141
-Just don't see the point.
-[sighs]
568
00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:28,141
[grunts softly]
Bit jealous, actually.
569
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:31,021
Little bastard gets a shot
at a real dad...
570
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,501
instead of some incontinent
fucking sperm donor.
571
00:27:35,341 --> 00:27:36,501
Thing about Dad...
572
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:38,861
you're fine,
573
00:27:38,940 --> 00:27:40,821
as long as you remember
to expect fuck all.
574
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:41,821
[chuckles]
575
00:27:42,220 --> 00:27:43,981
Only useful thing
he's ever said to me, right--
576
00:27:44,061 --> 00:27:45,821
I mean, to me, not at me,
577
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:48,501
my whole fucking life,
when I was little...
578
00:27:49,940 --> 00:27:51,180
I was making breakfast.
579
00:27:52,581 --> 00:27:54,741
Dad chucked his slice
of toast into the bin,
580
00:27:54,821 --> 00:27:56,101
"Fuckin' useless, that."
581
00:27:57,541 --> 00:27:58,660
And then he showed me.
582
00:27:59,581 --> 00:28:02,301
"Always spread the marge
into the corners,
583
00:28:02,381 --> 00:28:03,700
right up to the crust.
584
00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:07,460
Do the corners, and you don't have
to worry about the middle."
585
00:28:08,180 --> 00:28:10,220
-[Lip chuckles]
-True, as it happens.
586
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:13,220
-Useless fucker.
-[door unlocks]
587
00:28:19,180 --> 00:28:20,141
[door closes]
588
00:28:26,420 --> 00:28:28,420
Right.
Social services are due at 11.
589
00:28:28,501 --> 00:28:30,220
Sheila's coming round at half ten.
590
00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:33,741
Start with the bedrooms, Carl.
Debbie, you're on the bathroom.
591
00:28:33,821 --> 00:28:35,940
Carol, you still okay
looking after Liam, yeah?
592
00:28:37,180 --> 00:28:38,940
What do you want me for, Fiona?
[sniffs]
593
00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:40,261
[Fiona] Oh, yeah, Marty.
594
00:28:42,581 --> 00:28:44,141
Give me hand with a bit of lifting.
595
00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:50,261
-Cockhead. [grunting]
-Marty! Slow down!
596
00:29:01,301 --> 00:29:02,460
Where's Sheila?
597
00:29:06,061 --> 00:29:08,220
-Hiya!
-Oh, you brought the twins.
598
00:29:08,301 --> 00:29:10,700
[panting] I've been dying
to give these outfits an airing.
599
00:29:10,781 --> 00:29:13,101
[panting] Sorry I'm late.
600
00:29:13,180 --> 00:29:14,980
-[baby cooing]
-Only I thought it would help
601
00:29:15,061 --> 00:29:16,821
to look a bit more
like you-know-who.
602
00:29:17,101 --> 00:29:18,940
Only it's a bit difficult
with my wardrobe,
603
00:29:19,021 --> 00:29:20,420
so I had to borrow from across the road,
604
00:29:20,501 --> 00:29:23,660
but she's on the game, so she's a bit
difficult to wake before dinner time.
605
00:29:24,141 --> 00:29:26,621
ls it too late to do something
about these curtains, Fiona?
606
00:30:02,460 --> 00:30:03,781
Ian. [chuckles]
607
00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:06,341
She thinks you're planning a break-in.
608
00:30:08,420 --> 00:30:09,581
What are you doing here?
609
00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:11,101
Moral support, whatever that means.
610
00:30:11,741 --> 00:30:13,861
-Debbie passed on the details.
-[door closes]
611
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:17,541
-[Lip] Are you going in or what?
-Might not even be there.
612
00:30:19,061 --> 00:30:20,301
Probably get his wife.
613
00:30:21,061 --> 00:30:22,460
Didn't think about his wife.
614
00:30:23,621 --> 00:30:24,781
What if she's got kids?
615
00:30:25,261 --> 00:30:26,980
Might have half-brothers or sisters.
616
00:30:27,061 --> 00:30:29,141
Find out. Go on.
617
00:30:32,261 --> 00:30:33,501
-Fuck it, if you're not gonna--
-Lip.
618
00:30:34,341 --> 00:30:37,660
[jazz music playing inside]
619
00:30:50,861 --> 00:30:53,220
Sorry, lads. We've got tea towels
coming out of our ears.
620
00:30:53,301 --> 00:30:54,261
No.
621
00:30:56,061 --> 00:30:57,301
-I'm...
-[music continues playing]
622
00:31:01,980 --> 00:31:03,021
[knocking on door]
623
00:31:09,781 --> 00:31:10,821
[woman] Mrs. Gallagher?
624
00:31:12,460 --> 00:31:13,741
Monica Gallagher?
625
00:31:14,541 --> 00:31:18,980
-I'm Maureen Hale from social services.
-That's right. Come in.
626
00:31:19,541 --> 00:31:20,501
Thank you.
627
00:31:24,581 --> 00:31:25,541
Katrina.
628
00:31:28,501 --> 00:31:29,621
[Sheila chuckles nervously]
629
00:31:32,781 --> 00:31:35,301
Well, we've got your form,
Mrs Gallagher, thanks for that.
630
00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:37,940
Liam's doing well, in your opinion?
631
00:31:38,501 --> 00:31:42,301
Oh, yes, yes, he is.
Isn't he, Fiona?
632
00:31:42,381 --> 00:31:44,180
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No problems at all.
633
00:31:44,261 --> 00:31:45,301
[Sheila] There we are.
634
00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:48,261
Take the pot to the kettle,
never the kettle to the pot.
635
00:31:48,341 --> 00:31:51,261
[chuckles, exhales]
Oh! No teaspoons.
636
00:31:51,341 --> 00:31:52,900
[baby coos]
637
00:31:54,460 --> 00:31:55,821
On my first visit,
638
00:31:55,900 --> 00:31:58,061
I saw some bruising where Liam
had been hit
639
00:31:58,141 --> 00:31:59,261
by one of his brothers.
640
00:31:59,341 --> 00:32:01,301
Can you tell us how this
happened, Mrs Gallagher?
641
00:32:01,980 --> 00:32:04,420
-[baby coos]
-[thudding]
642
00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:07,261
Uh-- Lip--
It was Lip that moved.
643
00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:10,420
As I said to your colleague,
it was an accident.
644
00:32:10,501 --> 00:32:12,180
-[thudding]
-[baby cooing]
645
00:32:12,261 --> 00:32:15,660
[Sheila] Kettle. Kettle.
Teaspoons. Teaspoons.
646
00:32:17,781 --> 00:32:19,700
[exhales]
Hey, love.
647
00:32:20,460 --> 00:32:22,220
Would you get me a teaspoon, please?
648
00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:32,541
-Thank you.
-[baby cooing]
649
00:32:40,101 --> 00:32:42,460
-[spoon clanks]
-[baby cooing]
650
00:32:42,541 --> 00:32:43,700
Shall we have a look around?
651
00:32:45,341 --> 00:32:47,381
[Maureen] Well, I think
we've seen everything we need,
652
00:32:47,460 --> 00:32:49,180
Mrs Gallagher. Thanks for that.
653
00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:50,660
[Sheila] Thank you. [chuckles]
654
00:32:50,740 --> 00:32:52,101
You're a very lucky boy,
aren't you, Liam?
655
00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:53,541
-Having such a nice room.
-[Liam] Yeah.
656
00:32:53,621 --> 00:32:56,420
[Katrina] I've just got a few questions
about the living arrangements, Maureen.
657
00:32:56,501 --> 00:32:57,900
There seems to be a bit of confusion
658
00:32:57,980 --> 00:32:59,740
-about who lives where.
-It's easy.
659
00:33:00,101 --> 00:33:02,501
I live next door with my tenants,
Carol and Marty.
660
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:04,220
-[Maureen] Handy for babysitting.
-Is it?
661
00:33:04,301 --> 00:33:05,980
And everyone else lives here.
662
00:33:06,460 --> 00:33:07,700
[Sheila] The more the merrier.
663
00:33:07,781 --> 00:33:09,341
Take my hat off to you, Monica.
664
00:33:09,420 --> 00:33:12,341
These two looking bonny on it.
665
00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:14,501
Do you get your formula at the clinic?
666
00:33:14,581 --> 00:33:15,940
Oh, every week. [chuckles]
667
00:33:16,420 --> 00:33:18,381
[Katrina] 'Cause when I checked
our computer records,
668
00:33:18,460 --> 00:33:21,220
the twins are down
at a different address. 22 Eldon Way.
669
00:33:21,301 --> 00:33:23,861
And according to Lisa at the clinic,
they live there with their mother,
670
00:33:23,940 --> 00:33:26,700
Sheila Jackson.
The twins are yours?
671
00:33:28,101 --> 00:33:31,420
-Of course they are.
-So you must be Sheila Jackson.
672
00:33:31,900 --> 00:33:36,141
No, no, no.
I'm Monica. Monica Gallagher.
673
00:33:36,220 --> 00:33:38,261
[Katrina] Monica Gallagher
is now living in Moston.
674
00:33:38,341 --> 00:33:39,781
She's in a relationship
with another woman
675
00:33:39,861 --> 00:33:43,061
and she abandoned her kids
four years ago, isn't that right?
676
00:33:43,541 --> 00:33:45,781
Well, she's no better
than she should be. [inhales]
677
00:33:45,861 --> 00:33:47,700
I mean, I'm not. [chuckles]
678
00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:52,101
-I'm only human.
-She's Sheila Jackson living at Eldon Way.
679
00:33:52,180 --> 00:33:53,021
I'm sorry.
680
00:33:53,101 --> 00:33:55,141
The twins are hers
by Frank Gallagher
681
00:33:55,220 --> 00:33:56,781
who died shortly
before they were born.
682
00:33:56,861 --> 00:33:58,460
It's all on the computer.
683
00:33:58,541 --> 00:34:02,341
Dad's dead, Mum's gone,
these kids are home alone.
684
00:34:02,420 --> 00:34:04,420
I've applied for an emergency
care order for Liam.
685
00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:05,861
You fucking cow!
686
00:34:05,940 --> 00:34:08,021
[Frank] Home alone?
Who's home alone?
687
00:34:10,981 --> 00:34:12,101
Frank Gallagher.
688
00:34:13,421 --> 00:34:15,300
What can I do for you, ladies?
689
00:34:17,740 --> 00:34:18,740
[door closes]
690
00:34:19,981 --> 00:34:21,621
Am I tit-of-the-year or what?
691
00:34:21,941 --> 00:34:23,941
I knew it were too good to be true.
692
00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:25,541
You've still got one more left.
693
00:34:28,260 --> 00:34:31,141
The Cedars. Sounds even cushier.
694
00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:35,901
[scoffs] See his music?
Wall-to-wall fucking jazz.
695
00:34:36,260 --> 00:34:37,461
[laughs]
696
00:34:37,541 --> 00:34:39,660
-You're well out of it.
-[chuckles]
697
00:34:40,061 --> 00:34:42,340
[sirens blaring]
698
00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:51,581
[Lip] Christ.
699
00:34:52,381 --> 00:34:54,660
Dad finds out about this,
he'll wanna fuck him himself.
700
00:34:55,300 --> 00:34:56,180
Him?
701
00:34:59,101 --> 00:35:00,300
[barman] If he owes you money,
702
00:35:00,381 --> 00:35:01,780
you better get to the back of the queue.
703
00:35:02,021 --> 00:35:04,181
Oi, Gary. More people after you.
704
00:35:06,501 --> 00:35:09,981
[indistinct chatter]
705
00:35:22,661 --> 00:35:23,501
Ian.
706
00:35:24,741 --> 00:35:27,461
"Daddy." [laughs]
707
00:35:27,701 --> 00:35:29,421
-Fuck off.
-Daddy.
708
00:35:29,501 --> 00:35:32,261
Daddy. [chuckles]
709
00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:34,501
-Fuck off, mate!
-[laughs]
710
00:35:34,581 --> 00:35:36,820
-[chuckles]
-What?
711
00:35:36,901 --> 00:35:38,661
-What?
-[chuckles]
712
00:35:38,741 --> 00:35:40,981
[both laugh]
713
00:35:41,061 --> 00:35:43,581
Difference between Gary
and Frank, zilch!
714
00:35:43,661 --> 00:35:46,541
-[both laughing]
-Gary Bennett.
715
00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,181
[indistinct chatter, laughing]
716
00:35:50,780 --> 00:35:52,421
Human error, see.
717
00:35:53,461 --> 00:35:54,941
Ghost in the machine.
718
00:35:56,181 --> 00:35:58,421
[chuckles] Literally. Boogie, boogie.
719
00:35:58,501 --> 00:36:00,901
Reports of my death
have been greatly exaggerated.
720
00:36:03,381 --> 00:36:05,741
Computers, you see, Maureen.
721
00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:07,581
Only as good as the person
putting the stuff in.
722
00:36:08,061 --> 00:36:11,061
No. Garbage in, garbage out.
It's well known.
723
00:36:11,541 --> 00:36:15,461
Data in a computer
literally means what's put in it.
724
00:36:16,221 --> 00:36:19,780
Data, right? Not information.
725
00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:23,061
So, you're not living at Eldon Way?
726
00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:24,421
Um...
727
00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:30,181
not to my knowledge, love.
728
00:36:30,421 --> 00:36:31,981
And she's Mrs Gallagher, is she?
729
00:36:34,941 --> 00:36:37,261
-I am proud to say, yeah.
-[sighs]
730
00:36:37,340 --> 00:36:38,780
Last time I looked, anyway.
731
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:41,981
Well, I really think that's everything--
732
00:36:42,061 --> 00:36:45,541
If you're happy with the explanation
of why Liam's so accident-prone.
733
00:36:45,621 --> 00:36:50,061
Oh. [chuckles] Look at him.
Liam, come here, son. [grunts]
734
00:36:50,381 --> 00:36:51,820
[grunts] Look at that.
735
00:36:51,901 --> 00:36:54,061
What, he's got more injuries
than Michael Owen, eh?
736
00:36:54,141 --> 00:36:57,461
-He broke his wrist last year.
-Fell off his scooter, yeah.
737
00:36:57,541 --> 00:37:00,300
[Maureen] What are you, uh,
getting at, Katrina?
738
00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:01,421
It's obvious.
739
00:37:01,981 --> 00:37:03,780
She's his care giver
and she's not up to it.
740
00:37:04,541 --> 00:37:07,300
Hang on, hang on. Come here.
What are you saying, love?
741
00:37:08,181 --> 00:37:09,380
She looks after him, doesn't she?
742
00:37:13,261 --> 00:37:15,181
Too fucking right she does.
743
00:37:15,860 --> 00:37:17,901
And makes a cracking job of it, and all.
744
00:37:17,981 --> 00:37:19,860
Because her mum fucked off.
745
00:37:20,101 --> 00:37:22,261
And that's a crime, now, is it,
in modern Britain?
746
00:37:22,340 --> 00:37:25,021
Trying to give your brothers and sisters
the right start in life.
747
00:37:25,101 --> 00:37:27,820
Because you can't fill a fuckin' form in?
Paperwork, is that what you want?
748
00:37:28,380 --> 00:37:29,981
'Cause it's all here, you know.
749
00:37:30,061 --> 00:37:32,300
Black-and-white. All his jabs,
right up to date.
750
00:37:32,581 --> 00:37:34,820
Hospital appointments for his,
uh, whatsit.
751
00:37:34,901 --> 00:37:35,981
Fitting.
752
00:37:36,061 --> 00:37:37,860
[Frank] Yeah, all kept.
Physio for his leg.
753
00:37:37,941 --> 00:37:39,461
-Wrist.
-[Frank] All kept.
754
00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:40,941
She misses work for them!
755
00:37:41,501 --> 00:37:44,340
Never complains.
You talk to his nursery.
756
00:37:44,421 --> 00:37:46,501
There are a few problems.
Bites when he's cornered,
757
00:37:46,581 --> 00:37:47,860
-but he's three...
-Four.
758
00:37:47,941 --> 00:37:51,101
...years old. Bright as a button.
759
00:37:51,501 --> 00:37:53,701
He's got friends... hasn't he?
760
00:37:54,380 --> 00:37:57,661
His teachers will tell ya.
And I'll tell you what.
761
00:37:58,941 --> 00:38:01,021
You can't write it down in a book,
762
00:38:01,621 --> 00:38:06,021
or sign a form for it,
or get a fucking voucher,
763
00:38:06,421 --> 00:38:07,340
but...
764
00:38:08,461 --> 00:38:09,860
he's loved.
765
00:38:13,221 --> 00:38:14,981
Loved.
766
00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:18,661
By that lass over there.
767
00:38:21,780 --> 00:38:24,101
So put that in Tony Blair's pipe
and fucking smoke it.
768
00:38:24,181 --> 00:38:26,340
I mean, fuck off!
769
00:38:26,941 --> 00:38:30,340
If that's a kiddie that's being abused,
I'm Miriam fuckin' Stoppard.
770
00:38:30,421 --> 00:38:32,820
There's no question of abuse,
Mr Gallagher.
771
00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:35,860
I can see that Liam's
being well looked after.
772
00:38:35,941 --> 00:38:38,661
He's just admitted he lives with her
and she's in charge!
773
00:38:38,741 --> 00:38:41,901
-And I don't see a problem.
-I'll tell you the problem.
774
00:38:42,340 --> 00:38:45,261
I shagged her boyfriend.
775
00:38:45,981 --> 00:38:47,021
You shagged him?
776
00:38:47,421 --> 00:38:49,221
I thought you fucking snogged him!
777
00:38:49,300 --> 00:38:51,501
[sighs] It was a mistake!
778
00:38:51,581 --> 00:38:53,340
Oh, yeah? A mistake!
779
00:38:53,421 --> 00:38:56,941
You just think, "Here's the man
that Katrina's gonna marry.
780
00:38:57,021 --> 00:39:00,141
I know, why don't
I wreck her fucking life?"
781
00:39:00,461 --> 00:39:02,621
She made my life a misery at school.
782
00:39:02,701 --> 00:39:05,901
We were 14.
Everyone's life was a fuckin' misery.
783
00:39:05,981 --> 00:39:08,661
You pissed on me PE kit! [inhales]
784
00:39:12,261 --> 00:39:13,581
[Frank] Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
785
00:39:15,741 --> 00:39:17,061
[Maureen]
Sorry for the inconvenience,
786
00:39:17,141 --> 00:39:18,780
Mr and Mrs Gallagher. Personnel.
787
00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:20,421
The odd one slips through the
net.
788
00:39:20,501 --> 00:39:23,380
-Human error again, Maureen.
-Yeah.
789
00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:26,541
Hey, remember.
Data, not information.
790
00:39:27,741 --> 00:39:28,981
-[Sheila] Bye. [chuckles]
-Bye.
791
00:39:29,061 --> 00:39:30,021
[Sheila] Bye.
792
00:39:36,741 --> 00:39:38,380
[Katrina]
Wedding's still on, you know!
793
00:39:38,461 --> 00:39:41,780
Twenty-third of August!
I don't see a ring on your finger!
794
00:39:45,941 --> 00:39:48,101
Did you really piss on her PE kit?
795
00:39:48,181 --> 00:39:50,261
No, that was Alison Grant.
796
00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:52,581
I just held her bag open.
797
00:39:52,661 --> 00:39:54,461
[all laugh]
798
00:39:54,541 --> 00:39:56,581
[Sheila] And she said--
And she said...
799
00:39:57,581 --> 00:39:58,421
She said...
800
00:39:59,181 --> 00:40:00,820
Sorry. She said... [inhales]
801
00:40:00,901 --> 00:40:02,661
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience,
802
00:40:03,061 --> 00:40:04,501
Mr and Mrs Gallagher."
803
00:40:04,941 --> 00:40:06,820
-[all] Aw!
-Didn't she, Frank?
804
00:40:07,421 --> 00:40:09,581
Too fucking right she did.
[chuckles]
805
00:40:09,661 --> 00:40:11,901
You played a fuckin' blinder, Frank.
806
00:40:11,981 --> 00:40:13,901
-[Sheila sighs]
-[Frank] It's natural, innit?
807
00:40:14,941 --> 00:40:17,661
A father's instinct
to defend his offspring.
808
00:40:17,981 --> 00:40:19,380
Like lions. Come here.
809
00:40:19,461 --> 00:40:20,780
-[growls]
-[Debbie] Actually...
810
00:40:21,541 --> 00:40:24,860
male lions kill theirs.
I've seen it in a documentary.
811
00:40:25,581 --> 00:40:28,860
-New fucking man, me, Debbie.
-[Sheila] Oh, Frank.
812
00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:32,141
I'm proud to call her
Mrs Gallagher. [chuckles]
813
00:40:32,221 --> 00:40:34,941
He came straight out with it.
He did.
814
00:40:35,021 --> 00:40:36,860
You like the sound
of the that, do you, Sheil?
815
00:40:36,941 --> 00:40:39,901
Hey, hey.
Stop fuckin' stirring it, you.
816
00:40:39,981 --> 00:40:41,101
[knocking on door]
817
00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:47,941
Sperm and egg, split second,
accident of nature.
818
00:40:49,141 --> 00:40:51,780
The nurture,
that's being a fucking parent.
819
00:40:52,981 --> 00:40:54,780
[sighs] Look, just forget about it,
will you?
820
00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:55,741
You've got to tell her.
821
00:40:56,581 --> 00:40:58,901
-Tell Katrina we didn't shag.
-She already knows we did.
822
00:40:58,981 --> 00:41:00,701
-But we didn't.
-Joey--
823
00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:02,741
[indistinct chatter]
824
00:41:02,820 --> 00:41:04,901
-Didn't we?
-You were totally out of it, weren't ya?
825
00:41:05,941 --> 00:41:07,261
-It wouldn't have been--
-So, we didn't?
826
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:08,621
-[chattering continues]
-No.
827
00:41:08,701 --> 00:41:09,701
[chuckles]
828
00:41:12,221 --> 00:41:13,141
Fiona!
829
00:41:14,380 --> 00:41:15,621
You will tell her, won't you?
830
00:41:17,061 --> 00:41:19,701
Me dad's got 80 quid deposit down
on a Gandalf costume.
831
00:41:20,101 --> 00:41:23,581
[Frank snoring]
832
00:41:28,461 --> 00:41:30,941
-[lighter flicks]
-[snoring continues]
833
00:41:31,221 --> 00:41:34,780
-[sighs]
-[distant sirens blaring]
834
00:41:35,181 --> 00:41:37,380
Lads, you're gonna have
to give your dad a hand.
835
00:41:38,701 --> 00:41:39,780
He's worn out.
836
00:41:41,701 --> 00:41:43,101
[sighs]
837
00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:45,541
Come on. Hey.
838
00:41:47,421 --> 00:41:48,541
[huffs]
839
00:41:49,501 --> 00:41:50,941
Ian!
840
00:41:51,021 --> 00:41:52,701
Come on, I can't shift him
on me own.
841
00:41:53,581 --> 00:41:54,741
[Ian] Not my dad, is he?
842
00:41:59,741 --> 00:42:01,340
Stop fucking around, will ya?
843
00:42:01,860 --> 00:42:03,741
You can't just fucking resign.
Come on.
844
00:42:06,581 --> 00:42:07,421
[Fiona] Problem?
845
00:42:09,780 --> 00:42:11,581
-[sighs]
-[Frank snores]
846
00:42:12,421 --> 00:42:16,221
No. [sighs] Just taking Dad
back to Sheila's.
847
00:42:16,661 --> 00:42:18,261
[grunts]
848
00:42:22,941 --> 00:42:24,380
[Ian] Fiona reckoned it was a first.
849
00:42:24,461 --> 00:42:25,340
[snores]
850
00:42:25,820 --> 00:42:27,581
[Ian] Dad and Sheila
actually helping us out for once
851
00:42:27,661 --> 00:42:29,221
instead of landing us in the shit.
852
00:42:29,621 --> 00:42:30,621
[snoring continues]
853
00:42:30,901 --> 00:42:33,101
[Ian] Not that she'd have wanted them
round at ours all the time.
854
00:42:33,181 --> 00:42:35,101
None of us would. Not even Debbie.
855
00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:38,581
You just get used to things
the way they are.
856
00:42:40,661 --> 00:42:43,661
And at the end of the day,
it's better the devil you know.
857
00:42:44,261 --> 00:42:46,820
Early Kylie? Totally true.
858
00:42:50,340 --> 00:42:52,661
-I'm carrying his baby.
-Fiona!
859
00:42:55,340 --> 00:42:57,300
-[Barry] Had an accident?
-Boo!
860
00:42:57,380 --> 00:42:59,780
Oh, Jesus! Me tooth!
Where's me tooth?
861
00:42:59,860 --> 00:43:03,621
Remember, Frank, no-win,
no-fee, and we will win.
862
00:43:03,701 --> 00:43:06,820
If you wanna keep it, you don't have
to bring it up alone if you don't want.
863
00:43:06,901 --> 00:43:07,941
Shitty!
864
00:43:08,021 --> 00:43:09,141
[Yvonne] Oi!
865
00:43:11,340 --> 00:43:12,661
[Ian] You bastard!
866
00:43:12,741 --> 00:43:14,621
Shop's had to close down
because of him,
867
00:43:14,701 --> 00:43:16,101
and you don't give a fuck.
868
00:43:16,181 --> 00:43:17,661
I've booked the abortion.
869
00:43:18,621 --> 00:43:20,181
God! Blood.
870
00:43:20,261 --> 00:43:21,581
-What?
-[Sheila] I've been shot!
871
00:43:21,661 --> 00:43:24,820
Oh, my God, Frank.
What have you done?
872
00:44:09,941 --> 00:44:12,621
[moans]
873
00:44:16,261 --> 00:44:17,421
[feet tapping]
62013
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