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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:11,461 [Frank] Now, nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden, 2 00:00:11,541 --> 00:00:16,181 but it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids, 3 00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:18,181 -who I'm proud of... -[grunts] 4 00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:20,780 ...'cause every single one of them reminds me 5 00:00:20,861 --> 00:00:22,620 -a little of me. -[all grunt] 6 00:00:22,701 --> 00:00:25,421 [Frank] They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for. 7 00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:27,780 -[Carl] Run! Run for it! -[Ian] Quick! Leg it! 8 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:30,620 [Frank] Fiona, who's a massive help. 9 00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:34,900 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Phillip anymore. 10 00:00:35,461 --> 00:00:38,540 [Frank] Ian, a lot like his mam, which is handy for the others, 11 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,381 'cause she's disappeared into thin air. 12 00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:42,860 And Carl, we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 13 00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:44,381 -[growls] -[Frank] One, it stands on end 14 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,940 and makes him look like Toyah. Two, nits love it. 15 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:49,461 -[screams] -[Frank] Debbie, sent by God, 16 00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:50,701 total angel. 17 00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:54,300 You've to check your change, but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. 18 00:00:54,381 --> 00:00:59,421 Plus Liam, gonna be a star, once we've got the fits under control. 19 00:00:59,501 --> 00:01:00,501 [screams] 20 00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:04,021 [Frank] Sheila, me bird, couldn't be happier. 21 00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:07,780 One plate short of a full set, like. Fantastic neighbours, 22 00:01:07,861 --> 00:01:11,181 Kev and Veronica, lend you anything. Well, not anything. 23 00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:15,060 But, all of them, to a man know first and foremost 24 00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:18,060 one of the most vital necessities in this life 25 00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:21,221 is they know how to throw a party! 26 00:01:21,301 --> 00:01:23,541 [laughing] Scatter! 27 00:01:23,621 --> 00:01:25,221 [presenter] And joining Cheryl and Bernadette 28 00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:26,780 on this year's science scholarship 29 00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:28,581 to America is a very lucky man 30 00:01:28,661 --> 00:01:31,140 from Greater Manchester and the first ever to achieve 31 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,021 unanimous acclaim from the judging panel. 32 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:37,461 -Ladies and gentlemen, Phillip Gallagher. -[crowd cheering] 33 00:01:38,301 --> 00:01:39,621 [Mandy] You bothered about this or what? 34 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,060 Sorry, I was miles away. 35 00:01:43,621 --> 00:01:46,420 [Lip] Do you ever get that sinking feeling when something good happens? 36 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,661 One bit of you wants to believe your luck's really changed. 37 00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:50,981 -[bell ringing] -[Lip] But another bit 38 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:54,101 just keeps saying it's all gonna go tits up any minute. 39 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,261 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 40 00:01:58,381 --> 00:02:01,381 [Lillian] You don't need window locks round here. You need a shotgun. 41 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,580 Prevention's much more effective than cure. 42 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:07,821 Here you are, stick your name down. 43 00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:09,421 We'll send round a crime protection officer 44 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:10,981 and then you can get them fitted for free. 45 00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:11,941 They're free? 46 00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:14,581 Yep. Oi, you can't just take 'em. 47 00:02:14,661 --> 00:02:15,941 He just told me they were free. 48 00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:17,301 Yeah, but you need a home visit first. 49 00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:19,181 You can't just-- These are just for display. 50 00:02:19,781 --> 00:02:20,701 Hold the fort. 51 00:02:21,301 --> 00:02:23,421 -[indistinct chatter] -[Tony] Fiona? Fiona. 52 00:02:24,341 --> 00:02:27,820 Look, I'm sorry about, you know... Steve. 53 00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:31,380 Do you fancy driving out somewhere for a drink? 54 00:02:31,741 --> 00:02:33,941 Black Swan maybe, you know? Might cheer you up a bit. 55 00:02:36,141 --> 00:02:37,181 I'll call you later, yeah? 56 00:02:38,221 --> 00:02:39,701 [Lillian] Going to let him get away with that? 57 00:02:39,781 --> 00:02:40,901 -[Stan] Oi! Oi! -Shit! 58 00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:45,820 [Tony] Oi! 59 00:02:47,621 --> 00:02:49,941 Hey, come back here now. Come back. 60 00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:52,980 [Lillian] Come on! Quick! 61 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,421 [indistinct chatter, clamouring] 62 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,781 [Lip] Winning a science scholarship 63 00:03:01,861 --> 00:03:04,621 in a school that's blacklisted from the league tables wasn't easy, 64 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,621 but I did, so fuck 'em. 65 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,700 Snag is though I had to cover my own expenses. 66 00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:12,820 So I'm working round the clock doing other people's homework to raise cash, 67 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,941 which isn't hard except for... 68 00:03:15,021 --> 00:03:16,861 -Fuck's sake! -[clamouring continues] 69 00:03:16,941 --> 00:03:18,301 I'm trying to do some work. 70 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:19,861 So, it's not our problem. 71 00:03:19,941 --> 00:03:21,781 You should stick to doing your own homework. 72 00:03:21,861 --> 00:03:24,221 I'm only doing everybody else's 'cause I need the money. 73 00:03:24,301 --> 00:03:25,501 Well, get a proper job like me 74 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,301 -if you need the money. -Not if I have to shag 75 00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:30,061 -the boss up the arse. -Cut it out. Everybody stop. 76 00:03:30,141 --> 00:03:32,540 -[yelps] -[indistinct yelling] 77 00:03:33,141 --> 00:03:34,621 Ugh, I'm off to Sheila's. 78 00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:36,341 [clamour continues] 79 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:38,461 -[sports commentary over TV] -[Frank] Go on. Go on. Go on. 80 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:40,861 -[Sheila] It's ready in a minute, babies. -[babies crying] 81 00:03:40,941 --> 00:03:44,100 [Frank] Get in! He's done it! He's done it! [laughs] Yeah! 82 00:03:44,181 --> 00:03:47,061 Daddy's a winner. [laughs] 83 00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:49,661 -Come here. -What? 84 00:03:49,741 --> 00:03:51,700 Pink slip. Accumulator. It's worth a few bob. 85 00:03:51,781 --> 00:03:53,820 -There it is! Wait, wait. -[babies crying] 86 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,700 [Lip] I thought you lot were meant to be going out. 87 00:03:55,781 --> 00:03:56,901 Oh, sorry, love. 88 00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:59,461 Frank, if you've got time will you pop into Lena's? 89 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,941 I promised to mind her house while she's on holiday. 90 00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:03,540 [Frank] No, sorry, love, I've got to go and see 91 00:04:03,621 --> 00:04:06,021 Jerry the Jockey about that Jackson Street joinery job. 92 00:04:06,501 --> 00:04:09,021 -It's all right, Lip'll do it. -[Sheila] Good luck! 93 00:04:09,461 --> 00:04:11,980 Lip, do us a favour, nip round to my friend's 94 00:04:12,061 --> 00:04:13,860 and water her fish while she's away. 95 00:04:13,941 --> 00:04:16,141 -Key's on the dresser. -[babies crying] 96 00:04:16,221 --> 00:04:18,500 [Sheila humming] 97 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:22,021 -[indistinct chatter] -[dog barking] 98 00:04:22,941 --> 00:04:25,221 -[drill whirring] -[hammering] 99 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:35,661 [street noises fade] 100 00:05:33,661 --> 00:05:34,661 [Ian] Forget something? 101 00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:37,740 [sighs] Uh, shampoo. 102 00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:39,940 -I left my purse at home. -Oh, shampoo. 103 00:05:42,781 --> 00:05:44,261 -Come on, Debs. -[Kash whistling] 104 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,180 [Ian] What you nicking from Kash for? 105 00:05:47,261 --> 00:05:49,141 Thought the daft paki wouldn't notice? 106 00:05:49,221 --> 00:05:51,661 No, I wasn't nicking. Just borrowing. 107 00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:53,221 I always bring 'em back the next day. 108 00:05:53,301 --> 00:05:55,141 Where does it say "public library" in here? 109 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:56,861 You shouldn't be watching this stuff anyway. 110 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,301 I don't watch 'em. I only copy them. 111 00:05:59,661 --> 00:06:00,940 -What? -[Kash whistling] 112 00:06:07,141 --> 00:06:09,461 If you get caught, then it's nothing to do with me, all right? 113 00:06:12,221 --> 00:06:13,380 [doorbell ringing] 114 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,901 Got anything with vampires in it, 115 00:06:16,981 --> 00:06:18,620 or zombies, or kung fu? 116 00:06:18,901 --> 00:06:20,380 Oh, Debbie's in her room. Go on up. 117 00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,861 My mum was fuming. She said one minute, 118 00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:29,940 she was watching Blade, and Wesley had his shirt off, 119 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:33,141 next minute it went all fuzzy and Basil fucking Brush came on. 120 00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:36,940 [clicks tongue] What does she want instead? 121 00:06:37,341 --> 00:06:40,060 [Lucy] Horror, kung fu, or she wants her money back. 122 00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:47,301 Take your pick. Have an extra one for three nights for half price. 123 00:06:50,101 --> 00:06:51,820 [Debbie] Check it out properly. 124 00:06:51,901 --> 00:06:53,701 It's coming out of your money. 125 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:58,060 [girl] Carl, where's that new one? 126 00:06:58,141 --> 00:07:00,500 [Debbie] We've got tons of new releases. Have a good rummage. 127 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:09,060 -[knocking on door] -[Lip] Fiona. Can I come in? 128 00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:11,461 [whispers] You okay? 129 00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:15,341 -Anything I can get you? -[Fiona sighs] 130 00:07:16,861 --> 00:07:17,861 Cigs? 131 00:07:19,341 --> 00:07:20,180 Booze? 132 00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:22,500 -Red Cross parcel? -[chuckles] 133 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:25,740 [Lip sighs] 134 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,740 [Fiona sobs] 135 00:07:29,421 --> 00:07:31,861 [Debbie] Carl, have you checked Lucy's mum's tape yet? 136 00:07:39,461 --> 00:07:42,180 [Molly on TV] I'm getting wet just thinking about it. 137 00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:46,141 I hope you're ready to perform for me. 138 00:07:46,221 --> 00:07:47,901 [man impersonating Elvis] Uh-huh, baby. 139 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,421 [man] Are you ready for the King? 140 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:52,581 Come and enter my heartbreak hotel, baby. 141 00:07:52,661 --> 00:07:54,301 ["Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley playing] 142 00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:57,141 [man] I want to introduce you to a friend of mine, darlin', from Mississippi. 143 00:07:57,221 --> 00:07:59,380 Love me tender, don't be cruel, that's my job. 144 00:07:59,461 --> 00:08:00,500 What? 145 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:04,620 Fuck me every which way, you old hound dog. 146 00:08:05,581 --> 00:08:07,421 -[Molly moaning] -[man] Oh, baby. 147 00:08:08,141 --> 00:08:09,541 That feels good. Glory, glory hallelujah. 148 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:10,700 [man] Ow, ow, ow! 149 00:08:11,221 --> 00:08:14,060 -[Molly moaning] -[man moaning] Oh, baby. 150 00:08:14,141 --> 00:08:15,981 [moaning continues] 151 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,981 -[Molly] Elvis P... -What film's this? 152 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,101 -[Carl] Meant to be Lucy's. -[man speaking indistinctly] 153 00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,021 -[Molly moaning] -[man] Oh, my... 154 00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:24,380 That's Lucy's mum. 155 00:08:26,141 --> 00:08:27,021 The lollipop lady? 156 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:31,620 [indistinct chatter] 157 00:08:39,541 --> 00:08:40,421 [smooches] 158 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,661 Watching your own mum and dad? Sick! 159 00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:45,220 [man speaking indistinctly] 160 00:08:45,501 --> 00:08:48,381 [Debbie] That's not her dad, he's in prison. 161 00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:49,661 -[Molly moaning] -[man moaning] 162 00:08:49,741 --> 00:08:51,701 Do us ten copies, see if we can shift a few. 163 00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:53,581 [Molly] I'm caught in a trap, baby. 164 00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:55,741 [Molly moaning] 165 00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:57,701 Make it a dozen. [chuckles] 166 00:08:59,701 --> 00:09:00,901 [man] I'm a hound dog, baby. 167 00:09:01,901 --> 00:09:02,861 [video game bleeping] 168 00:09:03,901 --> 00:09:07,061 [gasps] Sorry, love, forgot you were here. 169 00:09:07,141 --> 00:09:08,980 [chuckles] I left one of my books. 170 00:09:09,061 --> 00:09:11,460 Try under your dad. Didn't get that job. 171 00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:14,261 It's really knocked his confidence. Aw. 172 00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:18,661 -[baby crying] -Oh, coming, Nigel. Coming. 173 00:09:20,581 --> 00:09:23,061 Just remembered where I left it. See ya. 174 00:09:23,421 --> 00:09:24,381 [Sheila] Bye! 175 00:09:27,781 --> 00:09:28,661 [Lip] Hey. 176 00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:57,541 [modem beeping, whirring] 177 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:01,460 [water dripping] 178 00:10:08,181 --> 00:10:09,141 [tool clatters] 179 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:10,980 [sighs] 180 00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:16,460 [chuckles] 181 00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:26,100 [birds chirping] 182 00:10:27,701 --> 00:10:28,741 [dogs barking in distance] 183 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:34,821 [doorbell ringing] 184 00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:38,220 [Debbie] Hiya, got some new films. 185 00:10:38,741 --> 00:10:39,941 You two will love it. Hot stuff. 186 00:10:40,021 --> 00:10:41,220 -See you later. -[woman] All right! 187 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:48,741 [Debbie] Billy, come on. I've got some new videos for you. 188 00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,100 Yeah, what do you want? 189 00:10:51,821 --> 00:10:53,781 [Debbie] Contains material of an adult nature. 190 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,460 -[Debbie] See ya. -[doorbells ringing] 191 00:11:01,381 --> 00:11:02,220 Hiya, you all right? 192 00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:06,381 Y'alright? 193 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,381 Y'alright. 194 00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:11,460 Hi, Debbie. All right? 195 00:11:12,701 --> 00:11:15,901 It's a cracker. See you later. Enjoy. 196 00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,460 -See ya. -[Debbie] Bye. 197 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:24,980 [Stan] Debbie, what are you doing? 198 00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,821 Debbie... Fiona know where you are? 199 00:11:33,181 --> 00:11:35,100 Are your minds open to the truth? 200 00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:39,621 Good. I've been trying all week to tell people 201 00:11:40,061 --> 00:11:42,340 that the Lord is the only truth we need. 202 00:11:43,541 --> 00:11:45,301 -Have you got a few minutes? -Sorry, Debbie. 203 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,301 Crime doesn't stand still for anyone, you know. 204 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,100 [police siren wailing in distance] 205 00:12:00,901 --> 00:12:02,901 [Lip whistling] 206 00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:04,381 [keys jingling] 207 00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:08,701 [Lip] What the... 208 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:32,661 [breathes heavily] 209 00:12:33,701 --> 00:12:35,781 [nervously] Hello? Hello? 210 00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:44,941 [Lena] What are you doing in my house? 211 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:46,901 Out, or you're getting this. 212 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:48,340 No, no, no, just hang on, all right. 213 00:12:48,421 --> 00:12:50,061 [Lena] I've called the police, they're on their way. 214 00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,941 Two minutes. They'll be here in two minutes. 215 00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:54,740 I just wanted somewhere quiet to work. 216 00:12:54,821 --> 00:12:56,901 -Just fuck off! -This wasn't me. 217 00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:58,141 [Neary] Nowhere to hide, scuzz. 218 00:12:58,220 --> 00:12:59,460 -[Lip] Nothing. -[Neary] Put it down. 219 00:12:59,541 --> 00:13:02,220 Look, it's nothing to do with-- Whoa! 220 00:13:02,301 --> 00:13:04,141 -[Neary] Bottle, down. -Okay, just hang on... 221 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:08,141 All right. This wasn't me. Look, you've got it wrong. 222 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,781 -[Neary grunts] -[Lip groans] 223 00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,261 [gasps heavily] Fat bastard. 224 00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,821 -[Neary grunts] -[Lip groans] 225 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:16,421 [Lip coughs] 226 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,021 [Neary grunts] 227 00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:21,141 -[Neary] That is assault. -[Lip] Piss off. 228 00:13:21,581 --> 00:13:24,421 And this is resisting arrest. 229 00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:26,581 -[Neary grunts] -[Lip groans, gasps] 230 00:13:29,821 --> 00:13:30,980 [Lip coughs] 231 00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:32,821 [officer] Unit 2 to control. We've made an arrest. 232 00:13:32,901 --> 00:13:35,181 [police siren wailing] 233 00:13:36,781 --> 00:13:38,661 [man] Oi, keep it down! 234 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:40,781 [man] Shut it, you bastards! 235 00:13:41,301 --> 00:13:43,620 Hey! If nobody answers after fifty knocks, 236 00:13:43,701 --> 00:13:46,220 it tells me they're not fucking in. 237 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,980 [dogs barking] 238 00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:57,620 Fuck's sake, Tony! 239 00:13:57,701 --> 00:13:58,821 Look, do you know where Fiona is? 240 00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:01,620 Gone out. Probably to avoid stalkers like you. 241 00:14:01,701 --> 00:14:03,261 Why don't you give her a break? 242 00:14:04,501 --> 00:14:06,100 [siren continues wailing] 243 00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:10,460 Home grown? Better be worth it. Who's in it? 244 00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:13,941 Molly Connor and some guy who's got a taste for dressing up. 245 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:17,021 -Molly Connor? Remind me. -You know Molly Connor. 246 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,261 -I don't. -You know. 247 00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:20,901 "Mind your backs. Children passing." 248 00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:22,460 -[chuckles] -The lollipop lady. 249 00:14:22,541 --> 00:14:24,781 Oh, Molly, but isn't her old man... 250 00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:27,181 -Yeah, five years for GBH. -[chuckles] 251 00:14:27,261 --> 00:14:29,100 Shaz reckons it's definitely not him. 252 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:30,821 She's running a sweepstake. 253 00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:32,460 First to name the boyfriend gets a hamper, 254 00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:34,620 -and a trip to the brewery. -[laughs] 255 00:14:34,701 --> 00:14:36,701 I'd hate to be the fella when the hubby finds out. 256 00:14:36,781 --> 00:14:38,100 -Ooh! -Funny as fuck though. 257 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,181 -[Frank laughs] -Stiffy and the stitch. 258 00:14:40,261 --> 00:14:42,021 Treat yourself, Frank, come on. 259 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,261 Sorted. 260 00:14:43,781 --> 00:14:44,661 Have you seen Fiona? 261 00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:45,620 -[Kevin] No. -[Frank] No. 262 00:14:45,701 --> 00:14:47,220 -Oh, shit. -[indistinct chatter] 263 00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:51,261 Right, you, you're coming to the nick with me. 264 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:53,100 Hey, look, if it's about them tax discs-- 265 00:14:53,181 --> 00:14:55,620 It's Lip, he's been arrested. He needs a guardian. 266 00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:57,181 [Frank] Well, eh, no, he won't want me, 267 00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:58,860 -he'll want Fiona. -Nicked for what? 268 00:14:58,941 --> 00:14:59,901 [Frank] Dozy bastard. 269 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,541 Look, I can't, I've got a job interview tomorrow-- 270 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:02,901 Yeah, right, course you have, Frank. 271 00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:04,661 Look, you either come in willingly, or... 272 00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:08,460 All-- All right. Hang on, hang on. 273 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,541 Two shots. 274 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,141 Your son is charged with aggravated burglary. 275 00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:19,500 -Take the fifth. No comment. -And resisting arrest. 276 00:15:19,581 --> 00:15:23,220 Take the fifth. He's saying nothing till he sees a lawyer. 277 00:15:23,701 --> 00:15:26,301 Mr Puffin is your son's lawyer. 278 00:15:26,901 --> 00:15:29,860 -Him? Fuck me! -[sergeant] All right. 279 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,301 The most serious of the charges facing your son 280 00:15:33,381 --> 00:15:35,860 is that of assaulting a police officer. 281 00:15:35,941 --> 00:15:37,740 -Say nothing. Schtum. -[door opens] 282 00:15:41,581 --> 00:15:42,860 Jesus wept. 283 00:15:43,781 --> 00:15:46,181 You said you only whacked him once. What with, a mallet? 284 00:15:47,141 --> 00:15:49,421 I didn't do that. I can't have. 285 00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:52,901 [officer] You sure about this, Neary? 286 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,781 [Neary] Go on, make it count. 287 00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:57,220 -[Neary grunting] -[wood clattering] 288 00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:02,100 So... you told your father 289 00:16:02,181 --> 00:16:04,181 -that you struck this officer. -Yeah, but-- 290 00:16:04,261 --> 00:16:07,701 Yeah, yeah, but in self-defence. Look at the size of the cunt. 291 00:16:07,781 --> 00:16:09,620 -Shut up! -Eh? 292 00:16:13,701 --> 00:16:16,821 [sergeant] Charge him. Theft, assault and resisting arrest. 293 00:16:25,421 --> 00:16:27,380 Whatever little bleedin' problem it is, 294 00:16:28,141 --> 00:16:30,261 I am not dealing with it. Right? 295 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,661 I've been out for a drink, I'm knackered, and I am going to bed. 296 00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:39,740 [Fiona sighs] 297 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,340 What are you-- Spit roast!-- lookin' at, you? 298 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,821 [indistinct radio chatter] 299 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,620 Well, call this justice? 300 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:57,261 You wouldn't know justice if it bit your tits. I'll see you in court. 301 00:16:57,661 --> 00:16:59,821 Hey, Fiona, I've done me best, but... 302 00:17:00,701 --> 00:17:01,541 they've stitched us. 303 00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,901 They're keeping him in overnight. What's that about? 304 00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,620 [Fiona] You didn't let him say anything, did you? 305 00:17:05,701 --> 00:17:07,940 [laughs] Just a little bit. 306 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:11,420 Couldn't you wait, you useless git! Even you should know that. 307 00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:15,461 Oh, great! I rush down here to help out 308 00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:16,981 for the good of me eldest son, 309 00:17:17,541 --> 00:17:21,821 my first born and-- and where the fuck were you? 310 00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:25,461 I couldn't find you. I had to settle for this joker. 311 00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:26,741 Oh, fucking charming. 312 00:17:26,821 --> 00:17:28,380 Here, where do I sign for the expenses, mate. 313 00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:30,781 -Loss of income and all that? -What I see as a priority is-- 314 00:17:30,861 --> 00:17:33,501 -[Fiona] You're fired, fuck off. -[Marty] Have a bath! 315 00:17:33,581 --> 00:17:34,900 [indistinct chatter] 316 00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:39,621 -Who's good? Any ideas? -Billy Thompson. 317 00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:41,581 Got us off that hit-and-run during the driving lesson. 318 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:42,940 Yeah, that's 'cause the instructor 319 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:45,061 had a breakdown before he got to court, Frank. 320 00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:47,541 Oh, yeah. [laughs] Ironic or what? 321 00:17:48,021 --> 00:17:50,301 -[can opening] -[Mandy] All our family use Old Man Jacks. 322 00:17:50,381 --> 00:17:52,261 Yeah, and how many of them are behind bars? 323 00:17:52,341 --> 00:17:55,821 Who's that Yorkshire one, you know, never lost a case. 324 00:17:56,381 --> 00:18:00,021 [sighs] Um, you know, did the triple murder in the barn. 325 00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:02,101 You know, proved it was the priest 326 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,341 and not the husband. And, oh... 327 00:18:04,981 --> 00:18:08,940 [breathes heavily] Uh, uh. It's Kavanagh. Kavanagh QC. 328 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:12,501 [laughs] Oh, I've just forgotten the Mini Rolls. 329 00:18:12,581 --> 00:18:15,101 What kind of legal secretary would I make? [chuckles] 330 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:17,781 [Ian] Lip didn't burgle that house. 331 00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:19,821 He twatted a cop, and he said so on tape. 332 00:18:20,301 --> 00:18:23,141 -Or rather, you did. -If anybody else blames me, 333 00:18:23,581 --> 00:18:24,981 -I'm off. -You dick. 334 00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:26,900 [Ian] Well, somebody must know something. 335 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,700 [Marty] Why can't we just start asking round, see who knows what? 336 00:18:29,781 --> 00:18:32,221 -Starting with who? -Dunno, but, if we kick enough of 'em 337 00:18:32,301 --> 00:18:33,700 someone's gonna say something. Kill! 338 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:35,420 What's it like in prison? 339 00:18:37,021 --> 00:18:40,061 Third time's not so bad. First scared me shitless. 340 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:44,180 Everyone's after your arse, food-- food, fags, stamps. 341 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,501 Mainly your arse. 342 00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:50,900 Petrocelli! 343 00:18:50,981 --> 00:18:52,821 Oh, I used to fancy him rotten. 344 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:54,940 [hisses] Lived in a trailer. [gasps] 345 00:18:57,341 --> 00:19:00,940 [man] Oi! Will you get me out of here, will you? 346 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,581 [door opening] 347 00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:04,741 [man] Will you? 348 00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:08,301 Oi! Is anybody there? 349 00:19:09,141 --> 00:19:10,341 Hey, you! 350 00:19:12,621 --> 00:19:13,621 [Carl sobbing] 351 00:19:17,381 --> 00:19:18,940 -[Ian] Talk. -What about? 352 00:19:19,021 --> 00:19:22,061 Don't fuck about, Carl. I wanna know what you know. 353 00:19:22,141 --> 00:19:23,101 [Carl] Nothing. 354 00:19:24,541 --> 00:19:25,781 [Ian] Help yourself here, Carl. 355 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,900 You knew the keys to that house were at Sheila's, didn't you? 356 00:19:29,581 --> 00:19:33,301 No, well, yeah. I-- I took 'em, but I didn't mean to... 357 00:19:33,581 --> 00:19:35,180 I swear. [sobs] I swear, Ian. 358 00:19:35,821 --> 00:19:37,660 Don't tell him. Don't tell Lip. Please. 359 00:19:38,741 --> 00:19:40,061 Go on. Talk. 360 00:19:40,141 --> 00:19:43,101 Me and Chogs just went round to watch a video for a laugh. 361 00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,420 -[laughs] -[Carl] Vince turned up with his mates. 362 00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:47,621 All right. Morning. [laughs] 363 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,861 I told 'em to leave stuff alone, honest. But they just took everything. 364 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:53,301 [Vince] Get the microwave. 365 00:19:53,381 --> 00:19:55,021 [all laughing] 366 00:19:55,101 --> 00:19:56,381 -[boy] Smash it! -[Vince] Get the video! 367 00:19:57,141 --> 00:19:59,061 -Grab it. Go on! -[boy 2] Look for some money. 368 00:19:59,541 --> 00:20:01,021 -[Carl] Fucking move! -[indistinct chatter] 369 00:20:01,101 --> 00:20:01,940 Take the telly. 370 00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:04,341 Me and Chogs legged it to take the keys back. 371 00:20:04,981 --> 00:20:06,461 We didn't know Lip went back to get 'em. 372 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,180 You won't tell the others, will you? 373 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,420 -Go and get it all back. -I can't. They'll kill me. 374 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,621 This is all your fault. What're you gonna do about it? 375 00:20:14,101 --> 00:20:16,501 -I don't know. What do we do? -We? 376 00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:20,261 There's no fucking we. [scoffs] I'm not going round there. 377 00:20:21,541 --> 00:20:22,420 I am. 378 00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:25,700 He needs sorting. We need to talk. 379 00:20:27,581 --> 00:20:28,420 [woman] It wasn't me. 380 00:20:28,501 --> 00:20:29,541 [officer] Yeah, get in, love. 381 00:20:29,821 --> 00:20:31,660 [man] I've been waiting here for bloody hours now. 382 00:20:31,741 --> 00:20:33,541 I've got to get home to see me wife. 383 00:20:33,621 --> 00:20:36,061 Then I've got to take the dog out for a bloody piss as well. 384 00:20:36,781 --> 00:20:38,781 Do you hear me? Come on. 385 00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:41,301 Never mind ignoring me. 386 00:20:42,461 --> 00:20:44,341 [sergeant] Mr Gallagher, you'll receive a letter shortly, 387 00:20:44,420 --> 00:20:46,501 advising you of the court date. 388 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,141 Check your possessions. Sign there. 389 00:20:50,221 --> 00:20:51,621 [police siren wailing] 390 00:20:52,581 --> 00:20:53,660 Fiona. 391 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,301 These are all lawyers that the custody office thinks are twats. 392 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,940 Meaning they're fine. 393 00:20:59,261 --> 00:21:00,621 [Fiona] Did you speak to Neary? 394 00:21:01,501 --> 00:21:02,501 Well? 395 00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:07,821 [Neary] Kiss my big hairy swingers, you fucking loser. 396 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:08,861 [dog barking] 397 00:21:08,940 --> 00:21:10,301 [Fiona] Thanks for trying, Tony. 398 00:21:11,101 --> 00:21:12,301 Thanks for bringing him home. 399 00:21:19,741 --> 00:21:21,461 Oi, pull your finger out. 400 00:21:22,621 --> 00:21:24,061 Why, what's it to you? You're not even family. 401 00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:25,461 Fiona deserves better than this. 402 00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:28,061 [sniffs] If it's down to me to sort it, I'll sort it. 403 00:21:28,541 --> 00:21:32,101 [chuckles] You think she'd look twice at you, you fucking psycho. 404 00:21:35,781 --> 00:21:36,700 Psycho. 405 00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:40,821 -Is Debbie in? -Sorry, Lucy, she's gone already. 406 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:41,981 Can I give her a message? 407 00:21:42,061 --> 00:21:43,621 Can you tell her I gave her the wrong tape. 408 00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,621 My mum went spare 'cause it's her wedding video. 409 00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:47,341 I'll pass it on, don't you worry. 410 00:21:52,581 --> 00:21:55,420 Well? Can't I leave you alone for one minute? 411 00:21:55,501 --> 00:21:57,781 It's just a few tapes for some friends. 412 00:21:57,861 --> 00:21:59,180 They can't afford brand-new. 413 00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,581 I do some for old people too. 414 00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:03,501 Can't get out much. And a cripple. 415 00:22:08,221 --> 00:22:09,261 [sighs] 416 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:13,741 It's as close as he can remember to what they took. Memorise it. 417 00:22:13,821 --> 00:22:15,261 This is what you're looking for, okay? 418 00:22:15,341 --> 00:22:17,301 Oh, the place will probably be full of knockoff. Fuck off! 419 00:22:17,381 --> 00:22:19,381 Don't matter. We only want what's on the list. 420 00:22:19,460 --> 00:22:21,541 If she gets her stuff back then she might change her mind 421 00:22:21,621 --> 00:22:22,460 and drop the charges. 422 00:22:24,341 --> 00:22:26,381 Marty, are you sure you've done this before? 423 00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:27,420 Of course. D block! 424 00:22:28,861 --> 00:22:30,261 Right. [sighs] Who lives here? 425 00:22:31,621 --> 00:22:33,581 -[Carl] Chogs. -[Marty] But who'll be sleeping there? 426 00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:34,621 His brother, Vince. 427 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:38,501 Vince's mate, Tel. 428 00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:43,700 -And maybe Vince's bird, Shaz. -[wolf howling] 429 00:22:44,501 --> 00:22:47,341 God, she's fucking evil. If she wakes up, leg it. 430 00:22:48,061 --> 00:22:49,341 [Carl] What if someone does come? 431 00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:51,221 [Marty] You just keep lookout. I'll do the rest. 432 00:22:51,301 --> 00:22:53,301 Any trouble, we'll torch the place. 433 00:22:53,381 --> 00:22:55,341 No. No one's gonna torch anything. 434 00:22:55,420 --> 00:22:57,660 You promised. Give me your matches, Marty. 435 00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:02,021 I don't wanna go. Please. 436 00:23:03,460 --> 00:23:05,101 He's gonna be no use to anybody. 437 00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:07,541 He fucking comes or who learns lessons from this? 438 00:23:07,621 --> 00:23:09,900 How's he gonna live with himself if he just bottles out? 439 00:23:09,981 --> 00:23:11,341 Get up, you've got eyes, haven't you? 440 00:23:11,420 --> 00:23:12,381 [Carl scoffs] 441 00:23:13,861 --> 00:23:14,861 It's his fault, anyway. 442 00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:18,381 [thunder rumbling] 443 00:23:22,581 --> 00:23:24,781 [Ian] Wake up, Carl. Time to go. 444 00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:27,541 -[Ian] Carl. -[Marty] Hang on to him. 445 00:23:29,381 --> 00:23:30,381 I know what'll wake him. 446 00:23:32,741 --> 00:23:34,821 -Wide awake club. -What you giving him? 447 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:35,940 -[Marty] Speed. -Marty! 448 00:23:36,021 --> 00:23:36,981 [Marty] Wakey, wakey. 449 00:23:38,101 --> 00:23:39,460 Well, he's slow at the best of times. 450 00:23:40,981 --> 00:23:42,581 They're safe enough. Come on. 451 00:23:45,221 --> 00:23:47,341 -[Marty grunts] -[thunder crashes] 452 00:23:48,381 --> 00:23:50,221 Wake up. Here we go. 453 00:23:57,141 --> 00:23:59,700 -Where the fuck is he? -[thunder rumbling] 454 00:24:00,381 --> 00:24:01,660 [Marty] Getaway car sorted. 455 00:24:04,261 --> 00:24:06,301 Now we're talking. Good thinking, Marty. 456 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:10,021 -Right. -One. 457 00:24:10,101 --> 00:24:11,101 -Two elephant. -Go! 458 00:24:11,180 --> 00:24:12,061 Three elephant. 459 00:24:12,141 --> 00:24:13,541 -[thunder rumbles] -[door clatters] 460 00:24:20,341 --> 00:24:22,981 [Marty] Bucket of spunk! Ninja assassin! 461 00:24:26,420 --> 00:24:28,101 [Ian] Hurry up! Shh. 462 00:24:29,621 --> 00:24:30,541 [Marty] Quiet! 463 00:24:31,581 --> 00:24:32,660 Here, take it. 464 00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:34,940 [Ian] Get us some more stuff. 465 00:24:36,061 --> 00:24:37,821 [thunder rumbles] 466 00:24:38,821 --> 00:24:39,781 [Marty] Arsehole! 467 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,861 I've got some fishing rods, put 'em in the-- put 'em in. 468 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:44,781 -[Ian] What're you doing? -[Marty pants] 469 00:24:44,861 --> 00:24:45,940 None of this stuff's on the list. 470 00:24:46,021 --> 00:24:47,101 -Where's the stuff? -[Marty] Uh? 471 00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:50,221 -The woman's stuff. -[laughs hysterically] 472 00:24:51,741 --> 00:24:53,381 [Marty] Ski boots! On the piste! 473 00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:55,341 [groans] A trophy? What-- 474 00:24:55,741 --> 00:24:58,541 -[woman] Who's there? -[Marty] Go. Go, go. 475 00:24:58,621 --> 00:25:00,180 [woman] Is there anybody there? 476 00:25:00,981 --> 00:25:03,221 Faster! [snorts] 477 00:25:09,861 --> 00:25:10,981 [laughs] 478 00:25:12,981 --> 00:25:14,900 [Ian] Marty, watch the bastard cars. 479 00:25:18,021 --> 00:25:19,900 [Ian] You got all the wrong stuff. 480 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:22,381 You're absolutely fucking useless. 481 00:25:22,861 --> 00:25:24,660 You didn't get one thing on the list. You just panicked. 482 00:25:25,341 --> 00:25:28,061 What were that great big robbery you said you'd been on? 483 00:25:28,141 --> 00:25:29,900 -[clears throat] -Fuckin' Oxfam shop? 484 00:25:31,261 --> 00:25:33,261 If Fiona finds out, she's gonna go spare. 485 00:25:35,420 --> 00:25:36,381 Fiona. 486 00:25:38,821 --> 00:25:40,261 [footsteps descending] 487 00:25:42,621 --> 00:25:44,700 Well, hiya, Carl. You're up early. 488 00:25:44,781 --> 00:25:47,021 Didn't go to bed. Got to level seven, zombies, 489 00:25:47,101 --> 00:25:48,180 killed loads, AK-47, 490 00:25:48,261 --> 00:25:49,700 ran out of health in the graveyard. 491 00:25:49,781 --> 00:25:52,420 Still got the second highest score though. See ya. 492 00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:56,021 [Fiona] Hey, you don't have to go to school, you know? 493 00:25:56,101 --> 00:25:57,781 Stay at home if you need some time to yourself. 494 00:25:57,861 --> 00:25:59,861 I'll have plenty of time to myself soon enough. 495 00:26:00,460 --> 00:26:02,660 [Fiona] If you talk like that, you're gonna wreck what time you have. 496 00:26:02,741 --> 00:26:03,940 Yeah, sure. 497 00:26:04,420 --> 00:26:05,420 Five days. 498 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:09,220 This just came. First hearing's next Monday. 499 00:26:10,141 --> 00:26:11,101 [Liam imitates horn] 500 00:26:11,381 --> 00:26:13,141 They'll keep me in, Fiona. You know they will. 501 00:26:14,141 --> 00:26:15,900 [sighs] It's not been our month, has it? 502 00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:19,700 We're gonna get you out of this mess. 503 00:26:20,460 --> 00:26:22,341 Hey, when have I ever let you down? 504 00:26:27,141 --> 00:26:28,621 Hey, Liam! 505 00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,700 What are you doing with that fishing rod? 506 00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:35,141 [Liam] I've got a fish. It's a big one. 507 00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:36,220 [Marty] Fish. 508 00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:43,501 Have you got a fishing license for this bedroom? 509 00:26:47,141 --> 00:26:48,261 What's up? 510 00:26:49,781 --> 00:26:53,180 You'd all be better off if I was back in prison instead of Lip. 511 00:26:54,061 --> 00:26:55,381 Don't say that, Marty. 512 00:26:55,741 --> 00:26:57,501 We're all doing our best to keep him out. 513 00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:00,940 What's with all the junk? 514 00:27:02,541 --> 00:27:03,420 Did it for you. 515 00:27:04,261 --> 00:27:05,261 And Lip. 516 00:27:05,460 --> 00:27:06,660 -For me? -[Marty] Hmm. 517 00:27:06,741 --> 00:27:08,021 -Did what? -[Marty] All this. 518 00:27:08,741 --> 00:27:11,501 We tried to nick the nurse's stuff back but it all went a bit tits up. Shit! 519 00:27:11,581 --> 00:27:12,541 We? Who's we? 520 00:27:13,261 --> 00:27:14,981 Me, Ian and Carl. Did our best, but-- 521 00:27:15,061 --> 00:27:17,781 You did what? You took Ian and Carl on a burglary, 522 00:27:17,861 --> 00:27:20,141 and then you've got the nerve to say you did it for me? 523 00:27:20,220 --> 00:27:21,261 -[Marty] Woah! -Are you mad? 524 00:27:21,341 --> 00:27:22,341 [Marty] Listen, will you? 525 00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:25,420 [Fiona] We would be better off if you were in prison. That's where you belong. 526 00:27:25,501 --> 00:27:27,021 [Marty] Well, just give us a chance. 527 00:27:27,101 --> 00:27:28,541 -[Fiona] This better be good. -[Marty pants] 528 00:27:28,621 --> 00:27:30,900 We thought if we get her her own stuff back, she might drop the charges. 529 00:27:30,981 --> 00:27:31,940 And? 530 00:27:32,021 --> 00:27:34,420 It wasn't there. They must have stashed it somewhere else 531 00:27:34,501 --> 00:27:38,460 so we just took what we could find. Anyway, it was Ian's idea. 532 00:27:38,541 --> 00:27:40,581 Don't look at me, he were the one that took 533 00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:42,981 the keys from Sheila's. The whole thing's his fault. 534 00:27:43,061 --> 00:27:45,220 You did this, Carl? You bastard! 535 00:27:45,301 --> 00:27:47,700 -[Carl] No, Lip! I didn't! -[Marty] No, don't! [screams] 536 00:27:47,781 --> 00:27:49,541 [Ian] Leave it, man! What are you doing? 537 00:27:49,861 --> 00:27:51,101 [shouts] Shut the fuck up, all of you! 538 00:27:52,220 --> 00:27:53,460 How can you all do this? 539 00:27:54,301 --> 00:27:55,861 I turn my back for ten minutes... 540 00:27:56,581 --> 00:27:58,101 and the whole house goes fucking ape! 541 00:27:59,581 --> 00:28:01,301 Don't you think we're in enough trouble? 542 00:28:02,141 --> 00:28:03,781 Can't afford to mess up like this. 543 00:28:04,981 --> 00:28:06,261 Do you understand? 544 00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:07,861 Do you fuck! 545 00:28:10,101 --> 00:28:11,180 Who do you think you're kidding? 546 00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:14,940 [takes deep breath] This isn't about us. 547 00:28:15,381 --> 00:28:16,660 It's about you and Steve. 548 00:28:17,501 --> 00:28:19,981 It's about you feeling sorry for yourself. 549 00:28:20,061 --> 00:28:22,541 You feel guilty because you weren't around. 550 00:28:22,621 --> 00:28:24,301 At least Marty was doing something to help. 551 00:28:31,341 --> 00:28:32,381 [sobs] 552 00:28:35,101 --> 00:28:36,341 [sobbing continues] 553 00:28:49,381 --> 00:28:50,541 [Lip] Shift it, Chogs. 554 00:28:52,141 --> 00:28:54,381 [Chogs] Hey, never guess what's happened round our house. 555 00:28:54,460 --> 00:28:57,261 We've been burgled. Someone's nicked me grandma. 556 00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:04,741 Who in their right mind steals an urn? 557 00:29:05,141 --> 00:29:07,101 How was I supposed to know what it was? 558 00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:09,420 Had ribbons on it. Looked like a football trophy to me. 559 00:29:09,741 --> 00:29:10,940 Big Stockport County fan. 560 00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:13,660 Chogs said that she wanted her ashes scattered on the pitch 561 00:29:13,741 --> 00:29:15,180 but health and safety wouldn't let her. 562 00:29:16,741 --> 00:29:18,621 What, so they keep her on top of the telly instead? 563 00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:19,660 Marty! 564 00:29:21,341 --> 00:29:23,141 Well, how are we meant to trade her in 565 00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:26,381 if half of her's lying on your bed with your porn? 566 00:29:29,980 --> 00:29:32,621 -[Marty] Hold it. -[Fiona] For God's sake. 567 00:29:32,700 --> 00:29:33,980 Lick my hole! 568 00:29:40,621 --> 00:29:41,821 It'll be right. [spits] 569 00:29:44,141 --> 00:29:45,220 [upbeat music playing] 570 00:29:54,821 --> 00:29:56,101 [mobile phone ringing] 571 00:30:01,141 --> 00:30:04,180 What kind? I'm not very good at accents. 572 00:30:04,261 --> 00:30:06,541 Anything. Just so they don't recognise you. 573 00:30:06,621 --> 00:30:08,781 I used to do a passable Shirley Bassey. 574 00:30:09,501 --> 00:30:11,940 It's blackmail, Carol, not Stars In Their Eyes. 575 00:30:12,220 --> 00:30:13,980 -Do an accent. -[ringing continues] 576 00:30:21,420 --> 00:30:22,341 [Carol with accent] Hmm? 577 00:30:23,101 --> 00:30:24,621 Zese are zey. 578 00:30:25,420 --> 00:30:27,220 No, you listen. 579 00:30:27,581 --> 00:30:30,900 If you want to see Grandma alive again, hmm, 580 00:30:30,980 --> 00:30:34,141 you know what I mean? Be at ze Jockey at 6:00, 581 00:30:34,220 --> 00:30:37,621 and bring all ze zings on ze list. Ask for... 582 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,021 Sven. 583 00:30:46,141 --> 00:30:48,341 Sven's a bloke's name. 584 00:30:53,581 --> 00:30:54,420 [Marty chuckles] 585 00:30:58,741 --> 00:31:00,980 Oi! Anyone here called Sven? 586 00:31:01,061 --> 00:31:02,621 [indistinct chatter] 587 00:31:05,021 --> 00:31:06,021 [accent] That'll be me. 588 00:31:07,220 --> 00:31:08,301 DVD player. 589 00:31:09,980 --> 00:31:13,900 Yeah, yeah, and-- and a cuddly toy, yeah. 590 00:31:14,301 --> 00:31:15,261 All accounted for. 591 00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:17,460 Right, now, where's me grandma? 592 00:31:17,700 --> 00:31:19,741 [Kevin] In the ladies. Second cubicle. 593 00:31:24,541 --> 00:31:25,781 [indistinct chatter] 594 00:31:36,381 --> 00:31:37,341 [Vince] Gran? 595 00:31:40,341 --> 00:31:41,460 [boy speaking indistinctly] 596 00:31:43,180 --> 00:31:45,021 Hey. Look, please. 597 00:31:46,541 --> 00:31:47,420 Your stuff. 598 00:31:48,301 --> 00:31:49,420 Now do you believe me? 599 00:31:53,460 --> 00:31:55,381 [sighs] If you've got my gear, why should I not? 600 00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:57,141 [Fiona] Lena, just hear us out. 601 00:31:57,220 --> 00:31:59,900 Lip got the keys to your house from Sheila Jackson. 602 00:31:59,980 --> 00:32:01,501 Fucking mad bitch. 603 00:32:01,581 --> 00:32:03,141 I should have known better than to trust her. 604 00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:04,700 Yeah. We are related. 605 00:32:05,660 --> 00:32:07,460 Lip only came round to feed the fish. 606 00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:09,900 W-- Who fixed the tap in the kitchen if it wasn't me? 607 00:32:09,980 --> 00:32:12,700 Who put money in the telephone box every time I made a call? 608 00:32:17,740 --> 00:32:18,900 Not all this stuff is mine. 609 00:32:19,220 --> 00:32:22,261 No, there's some extra bits and pieces to compensate 610 00:32:22,341 --> 00:32:23,581 for your inconvenience. 611 00:32:28,261 --> 00:32:29,101 Okay. 612 00:32:30,381 --> 00:32:31,781 -Bring them in. -Cheers. 613 00:32:35,781 --> 00:32:37,021 I'm really sorry if I scared you. 614 00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:39,061 -If? -[Lip] What about you, though? 615 00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:40,621 I crapped myself when you pulled that knife. 616 00:32:41,220 --> 00:32:43,180 Only came round to do a bit of homework, next thing I know, 617 00:32:43,261 --> 00:32:44,581 some copper's beating the shit out of me. 618 00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:47,220 You broke into someone's house to do your homework? 619 00:32:47,821 --> 00:32:49,101 Other people's homework. 620 00:32:49,940 --> 00:32:51,660 It's what I do to earn a bit of extra money. 621 00:32:52,261 --> 00:32:53,621 I'm saving up to go abroad. 622 00:32:53,700 --> 00:32:56,581 [scoffs] No wonder the police didn't believe you. 623 00:32:56,660 --> 00:32:58,460 If I reinstall all this lot for you... 624 00:32:59,581 --> 00:33:00,900 will you drop the charges? 625 00:33:07,501 --> 00:33:08,621 Okay. 626 00:33:14,141 --> 00:33:16,700 [Kev] So, what are you gonna do about Neary and the assault charge? 627 00:33:17,940 --> 00:33:19,460 -Wanna know what I'd do now? -[can opening] 628 00:33:24,940 --> 00:33:27,900 Oh, that's fucking great. "Thanks, Frank, please tell us your brilliant idea." 629 00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:29,301 Well, stuff the lot of you. 630 00:33:29,381 --> 00:33:30,980 [Kev] Go on then, what would you do? 631 00:33:33,261 --> 00:33:36,541 Well, if he's that bent I'd just bribe the bastard. 632 00:33:36,621 --> 00:33:38,660 Brown envelope full of cash, pay him off. Simple. 633 00:33:38,740 --> 00:33:40,581 Brilliant, why didn't we think of that? 634 00:33:40,660 --> 00:33:42,381 Oh, yeah, we did, then we realised 635 00:33:42,460 --> 00:33:44,581 we hadn't got enough between us to buy a packet of fags. 636 00:33:44,660 --> 00:33:46,700 [Debbie] I've got 450 quid. 637 00:33:47,621 --> 00:33:48,541 [Frank] What? 638 00:33:50,621 --> 00:33:52,740 -[Fiona] How much? -[Debbie] Four-fifty. 639 00:33:53,381 --> 00:33:54,980 From the videos. 640 00:33:55,061 --> 00:33:57,061 You can use that if you promise to pay me back. 641 00:33:57,141 --> 00:33:59,180 You told me you hadn't got anything to lend me yesterday. 642 00:34:00,180 --> 00:34:01,021 [Fiona] Brilliant, Debs. 643 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:02,900 Four hundred and fifty. 644 00:34:02,980 --> 00:34:04,581 Is that enough to buy him off, Tony? 645 00:34:04,660 --> 00:34:08,021 -Well, maybe, yeah, but it's risky, innit? -Oh, shut up about risky. 646 00:34:08,101 --> 00:34:10,660 -What help have you been? -[Fiona] Think he'll go for it? 647 00:34:12,780 --> 00:34:13,740 [Tony] Stan? 648 00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:16,101 -Well, yeah. -Pigs! Dirty pigs! 649 00:34:16,180 --> 00:34:17,180 [Stan] He might. 650 00:34:20,581 --> 00:34:22,421 Well, thank you me, once again. 651 00:34:22,501 --> 00:34:24,981 Frank Gallagher, crisis intervention specialist. 652 00:34:27,141 --> 00:34:28,260 [indistinct chatter] 653 00:34:38,220 --> 00:34:39,340 You got something for me? 654 00:34:41,260 --> 00:34:42,300 What the fuck you doing? 655 00:34:42,981 --> 00:34:45,021 Hey, hey, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. 656 00:34:45,101 --> 00:34:46,220 Shut up. Keep still. 657 00:34:46,901 --> 00:34:47,740 [yelps] 658 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:49,660 You're clean. 659 00:34:50,141 --> 00:34:51,860 It's not Mission fucking Impossible. 660 00:34:52,180 --> 00:34:54,300 This pint will self-destruct in five seconds. 661 00:35:01,221 --> 00:35:02,581 [mouths] All right. 662 00:35:04,101 --> 00:35:06,820 I'm here to give you a bung. How much to get him off? 663 00:35:08,061 --> 00:35:09,300 Don't know what you're talking about. 664 00:35:10,621 --> 00:35:13,221 I understood you were interested in renting my caravan 665 00:35:13,300 --> 00:35:15,381 in Southport for a couple of weeks. 666 00:35:15,461 --> 00:35:17,981 You what? Caravan? I fucking hate caravans. 667 00:35:18,981 --> 00:35:21,780 Oh, this is a right cock up, who are you meant to be meeting? 668 00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:22,860 You. 669 00:35:24,101 --> 00:35:26,061 You should have got some holiday money for me. 670 00:35:30,381 --> 00:35:31,421 [chuckles] Oh... 671 00:35:32,101 --> 00:35:34,860 right. The caravan. 672 00:35:36,981 --> 00:35:37,941 All right, so... 673 00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:41,421 how much for a fortnight in the caravan? 674 00:35:42,021 --> 00:35:42,860 A grand. 675 00:35:44,101 --> 00:35:46,701 Fuck me! Ah, fuck, I need a pint. 676 00:35:48,421 --> 00:35:51,261 -He wants a grand. -[Fiona] Tell him no way. 677 00:35:51,340 --> 00:35:53,981 Start at two-fifty then go up in twenties if you have to. 678 00:35:54,061 --> 00:35:55,541 Four-fifty is the absolute limit. 679 00:35:55,621 --> 00:35:57,860 All right, leave it to me. I can read him like a book. 680 00:36:03,461 --> 00:36:04,981 Two-ten, our final offer. 681 00:36:10,461 --> 00:36:11,541 Up yours, sunshine. 682 00:36:19,141 --> 00:36:20,021 [Fiona] Wait. 683 00:36:25,421 --> 00:36:26,581 I've heard your final offer. 684 00:36:27,181 --> 00:36:30,340 Caravans are rather more sophisticated these days 685 00:36:30,421 --> 00:36:33,701 than... Clampetts like you lot could appreciate. 686 00:36:37,421 --> 00:36:39,501 This is all we've got. Take it. 687 00:36:40,340 --> 00:36:41,741 Just don't let him go to prison. 688 00:36:43,541 --> 00:36:44,581 It's way short. 689 00:36:46,701 --> 00:36:49,421 But there is a way that you can make up the difference. 690 00:36:49,501 --> 00:36:50,661 Oh, yeah? 691 00:36:50,860 --> 00:36:53,501 [Neary] We could come to some sort of arrangement, 692 00:36:53,901 --> 00:36:55,621 back of the van, now, for a quickie, 693 00:36:56,021 --> 00:36:58,101 and then you can save me a couple on account. 694 00:36:58,181 --> 00:37:01,340 Little birdy tells me that you like fucking coppers and car thieves. 695 00:37:01,421 --> 00:37:02,261 Piss off. 696 00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:05,981 No deal. 697 00:37:08,221 --> 00:37:11,461 And this just about covers you wasting my time. 698 00:37:17,901 --> 00:37:18,941 [Tony] Are you okay? 699 00:37:19,461 --> 00:37:22,941 Hey. I did warn you, didn't I? He's a twat. 700 00:37:24,141 --> 00:37:27,981 Listen... how far are you prepared to go to sort him out, eh? 701 00:37:29,221 --> 00:37:31,141 All the way. Anything. 702 00:37:32,941 --> 00:37:35,581 If you really mean that, I reckon we could nail him. 703 00:37:36,461 --> 00:37:37,421 [Lip] Here. 704 00:37:37,741 --> 00:37:39,221 [Ian] You don't have to do this now, you know. 705 00:37:40,181 --> 00:37:41,701 Saves all the scrapping later. 706 00:37:42,541 --> 00:37:43,541 Just don't go. 707 00:37:44,141 --> 00:37:46,261 We'll hide you in the roof. It worked for Anne Frank. 708 00:37:47,061 --> 00:37:49,261 -They caught Anne Frank. -Yeah, but not for ages. 709 00:37:49,820 --> 00:37:51,981 Big prize for the first one to guess 710 00:37:52,340 --> 00:37:53,941 what I'm gonna do with this? 711 00:37:54,701 --> 00:37:55,741 Lip? 712 00:37:57,820 --> 00:37:59,981 [phones ringing] 713 00:38:01,261 --> 00:38:02,621 Phillip Gallagher, Sarge. 714 00:38:02,701 --> 00:38:04,101 Decided to make a full statement. 715 00:38:04,380 --> 00:38:05,221 Confession? 716 00:38:06,581 --> 00:38:08,780 [Stan] Let's get you in the interview room. Come on. 717 00:38:08,860 --> 00:38:12,780 [desk sergeant] Sergeant Neary, PC Howe, interview room two, immediately. 718 00:38:16,621 --> 00:38:19,021 [Neary] Oh, what the fuck do you think you're doing? 719 00:38:19,101 --> 00:38:20,340 [Tony] He just wanted to talk to us. 720 00:38:20,421 --> 00:38:22,741 Amazing what a bit of community liaison can do. 721 00:38:23,101 --> 00:38:25,141 [Neary] He's mine. Come on. 722 00:38:27,141 --> 00:38:28,421 [woman] Get your hands off my tits! 723 00:38:47,261 --> 00:38:48,741 Are you gonna tell me something new or not? 724 00:38:48,820 --> 00:38:49,941 We'll see. 725 00:38:50,941 --> 00:38:53,300 [Tony] Sarge, sorry to barge in, but I think we might have a problem. 726 00:38:53,941 --> 00:38:55,461 [indistinct chatter] 727 00:38:59,141 --> 00:39:02,061 Why don't you kiss my big hairy swingers? 728 00:39:02,581 --> 00:39:03,741 Here. 729 00:39:04,901 --> 00:39:06,901 [groans] 730 00:39:08,541 --> 00:39:10,461 -[sarge] Jesus. Stop it. -[Lip groans] 731 00:39:10,541 --> 00:39:12,300 No. Come on. 732 00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:14,141 [groans] 733 00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:19,701 [Neary] Come on. This wasn't me. 734 00:39:19,780 --> 00:39:22,021 It's all a fucking stitch up, Sarge. 735 00:39:22,101 --> 00:39:23,340 [sergeant] Shut up, Neary. 736 00:39:23,741 --> 00:39:27,300 Mr Gallagher, do you wish to file a formal complaint? 737 00:39:27,701 --> 00:39:28,661 [Lip] Well, that depends. 738 00:39:29,860 --> 00:39:30,820 [sergeant] On? 739 00:39:30,901 --> 00:39:32,621 Whether he's saying I twatted him or not. 740 00:39:32,701 --> 00:39:35,541 Oh, come on. You're being blackmailed here, Sarge. 741 00:39:35,621 --> 00:39:39,181 No, you are, and pretty successfully I'd say. 742 00:39:40,741 --> 00:39:41,860 So it's make your mind up time. 743 00:39:42,820 --> 00:39:44,780 Are you pressing charges or not? 744 00:39:46,901 --> 00:39:48,780 Fine. [sighs] 745 00:39:49,541 --> 00:39:50,661 Fine. 746 00:39:56,380 --> 00:39:58,621 And you two better watch your fucking backs as well. 747 00:40:01,421 --> 00:40:03,221 [Kev, through PA] Right, come on, you tight baskets, 748 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:05,421 get your hands in your pockets. Fifteen quid, right, 749 00:40:05,501 --> 00:40:07,501 going for the last time now, 750 00:40:07,581 --> 00:40:10,261 for a beautiful pair of ladies' ski boots. 751 00:40:10,340 --> 00:40:11,661 -Top of the range. -[indistinct chatter] 752 00:40:11,741 --> 00:40:13,661 Going to the lovely lady in the corner. 753 00:40:13,741 --> 00:40:15,101 They're going once, 754 00:40:15,181 --> 00:40:17,461 they're going twice, 'ey, they've gone. 755 00:40:17,541 --> 00:40:18,901 -[people cheering] -She's a winner. 756 00:40:18,981 --> 00:40:20,780 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -[indistinct chatter] 757 00:40:23,941 --> 00:40:26,061 [Kev] And by the way, let's not forget why we're here, 758 00:40:26,141 --> 00:40:27,380 what it's all in aid of. 759 00:40:28,421 --> 00:40:30,981 Chatsworth Estate's answer to Ronald Biggs... 760 00:40:31,061 --> 00:40:32,581 -[woman laughing] -...the one, the only, 761 00:40:32,661 --> 00:40:34,340 ladies and gentlemen, at the bar over there. 762 00:40:34,421 --> 00:40:37,541 -Mr Lip Gallagher. -[crowd cheering, applauding] 763 00:40:38,461 --> 00:40:39,941 [Kev] Don't forget this auction's being held 764 00:40:40,581 --> 00:40:44,661 to raise money to send Lip to America, so dig deep. 765 00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:48,141 -[groans] -Hey, is this for me then? 766 00:40:48,340 --> 00:40:50,741 [chuckles] No, I'm off out. Catch you later. 767 00:40:50,820 --> 00:40:52,701 [Jez] Right everyone, there's one more item 768 00:40:52,780 --> 00:40:54,820 to auction and then we're gonna kick off the karaoke. 769 00:40:54,901 --> 00:40:57,221 Can I have a couple of volunteers to get us started? 770 00:40:57,300 --> 00:40:59,061 -Come on then, Anne, love. -Gonna have a crack then? 771 00:40:59,141 --> 00:41:02,021 -Give us your George Formby? -No, I can only do Gene Pitney. 772 00:41:02,101 --> 00:41:04,541 No one knows who he is anymore, so you go. 773 00:41:04,621 --> 00:41:05,941 -[Stan] Nice. -[Kev] Okay. 774 00:41:06,340 --> 00:41:07,661 Now, my glamorous assistant, 775 00:41:07,741 --> 00:41:10,300 -isn't she gorgeous? -[man whistling] 776 00:41:10,380 --> 00:41:12,701 [Kev] She gonna hold up lot 41, 777 00:41:12,780 --> 00:41:15,661 another brand-new, mint condition 778 00:41:15,741 --> 00:41:17,820 fishing rod and reel. -[woman cheering] 779 00:41:17,901 --> 00:41:19,340 Who's gonna give us-- who's gonna start 780 00:41:19,421 --> 00:41:22,181 -the bidding at 20 quid? -Twenty over here, 20. 781 00:41:22,820 --> 00:41:24,541 [Frank] Fuck's sake, Sheila, you've already got one. 782 00:41:24,621 --> 00:41:28,461 [laughs] I know, but one each, one each for later, 783 00:41:28,541 --> 00:41:30,061 when they're older, stop the arguments. 784 00:41:30,141 --> 00:41:32,181 [takes deep breaths] She's not daft. [laughs] 785 00:41:32,261 --> 00:41:34,141 Come on, who's gonna give us 25? 786 00:41:34,621 --> 00:41:36,461 Twenty-five over here. [screams frantically] 787 00:41:36,541 --> 00:41:38,941 Sweet Jesus, give me strength. 788 00:41:41,981 --> 00:41:44,021 [Lena] Lip, what are you doing here? 789 00:41:44,101 --> 00:41:45,261 [Lip] Nothing illegal. 790 00:41:46,061 --> 00:41:47,300 I told you, it's my night off. 791 00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:49,021 I said you could come and work here tomorrow. 792 00:41:49,501 --> 00:41:50,780 I didn't come to do homework. 793 00:41:50,860 --> 00:41:53,061 I bought you a present to say thanks and that. 794 00:41:53,141 --> 00:41:54,261 Oh, you didn't have to. 795 00:41:57,141 --> 00:41:58,101 [bottle popping] 796 00:42:00,501 --> 00:42:01,780 I take it you didn't nick it. 797 00:42:01,860 --> 00:42:02,701 [both chuckle] 798 00:42:03,221 --> 00:42:04,300 Receipt's in the box. 799 00:42:05,221 --> 00:42:06,421 In case you weren't so keen on it. 800 00:42:06,981 --> 00:42:08,701 I thought you could do with the extra security. 801 00:42:09,380 --> 00:42:11,860 [Lena] I know how to look after myself, normally. 802 00:42:12,380 --> 00:42:13,661 Maybe so. 803 00:42:13,741 --> 00:42:15,421 But you need eyes in the back of your head round here. 804 00:42:16,221 --> 00:42:18,701 My boyfriend used to work opposite shifts to me. 805 00:42:19,421 --> 00:42:21,261 So the house was always occupied. 806 00:42:21,340 --> 00:42:23,661 What, so you only get to see each other at tea times? 807 00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:25,901 -How does that work? -It doesn't. 808 00:42:26,541 --> 00:42:27,421 [chuckles] 809 00:42:32,421 --> 00:42:33,421 [Lip] Listen... 810 00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:37,541 say if I'm out of order, but... 811 00:42:39,221 --> 00:42:40,300 I'm pretty good in the sack. 812 00:42:41,461 --> 00:42:42,340 [chuckles] 813 00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:44,741 And why would I wanna know that? 814 00:42:45,621 --> 00:42:46,621 Better out than in. 815 00:42:51,741 --> 00:42:53,701 -How old are you? -Thirty-six. 816 00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:54,741 [both laugh] 817 00:43:03,021 --> 00:43:03,860 I'm off to run a bath. 818 00:43:04,901 --> 00:43:06,021 Like I said, Lena... 819 00:43:06,981 --> 00:43:08,941 give us a shout if you need a hand with your back scrubbing. 820 00:43:09,860 --> 00:43:11,981 -The bath's for you. -[Lip chuckles] 821 00:43:19,820 --> 00:43:21,581 Right, can I have a bit of hush now, please, everyone? 822 00:43:21,661 --> 00:43:23,541 Don't worry, Anne, it'll be your turn soon. 823 00:43:23,621 --> 00:43:25,941 Now then, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome on stage, 824 00:43:26,021 --> 00:43:28,741 with the voice of an angel, and body of a baby hippo, 825 00:43:28,820 --> 00:43:33,300 it's PC Stan Waterman with his rendition of a classic! 826 00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:34,541 [all cheering and applauding] 827 00:43:39,501 --> 00:43:41,061 ["Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley starts] 828 00:43:41,141 --> 00:43:42,380 ♪ We're caught in a trap ♪ 829 00:43:42,461 --> 00:43:43,501 [crowd cheering and applauding] 830 00:43:43,581 --> 00:43:44,780 Thank you. 831 00:43:45,101 --> 00:43:46,741 ♪ I can't walk out ♪ 832 00:43:46,820 --> 00:43:48,261 [cheering and applauding continues] 833 00:43:49,421 --> 00:43:54,141 ♪ Because I love you too much baby ♪ 834 00:43:54,981 --> 00:43:56,101 [woman cheering] 835 00:43:57,541 --> 00:43:59,021 -♪ Why can't you see ♪ -That's him! 836 00:43:59,101 --> 00:44:01,181 -It-- It's fucking Elvis! -[both laugh] 837 00:44:01,261 --> 00:44:03,461 -♪ What you're doing to me ♪ -[laughs] Fucking Elvis! 838 00:44:04,300 --> 00:44:05,340 [woman] Rock star! 839 00:44:05,621 --> 00:44:09,461 [Stan] ♪ When you don't believe a word I say? ♪ 840 00:44:09,541 --> 00:44:12,021 -[crowd cheering] -[Stan] Come on everybody! 841 00:44:12,101 --> 00:44:14,141 -[cheering continues] -[indistinct chatter] 842 00:44:14,221 --> 00:44:20,421 [Stan] ♪ We can't go on together with suspicious minds ♪ 843 00:44:20,501 --> 00:44:21,581 [man whistling] 844 00:44:22,340 --> 00:44:28,340 ♪ And we can't build our dreams on suspicious minds ♪ 845 00:44:30,380 --> 00:44:32,221 ♪ There we go again ♪ 846 00:44:34,501 --> 00:44:35,981 [all chanting] Get your knob out! 847 00:44:36,061 --> 00:44:37,741 -Get your knob out! -Get your knob out! 848 00:44:37,820 --> 00:44:39,581 [Fiona] Deb, what is it? What? 849 00:44:41,181 --> 00:44:44,941 [all chanting] Get your knob out for the girls! 850 00:44:45,021 --> 00:44:46,181 What? 851 00:44:46,701 --> 00:44:49,501 -[groans] -[Mandy] Congratulations. 852 00:44:49,581 --> 00:44:51,340 -You're gonna be a daddy. -[sighs] 853 00:44:52,021 --> 00:44:52,981 [music playing] 854 00:44:53,061 --> 00:44:56,261 You're gonna be a dad, and everyone's gonna think it's mine! 855 00:44:56,661 --> 00:44:58,741 But she's a fucking Maguire! 856 00:44:58,820 --> 00:45:00,021 Our one and only daughter, 857 00:45:00,101 --> 00:45:02,221 and you've turned her into a woman. 858 00:45:02,860 --> 00:45:04,461 ♪ ...for dancing ♪ 859 00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:06,380 You want me to suck your tits? 860 00:45:06,461 --> 00:45:09,380 Maguire takes it on the chest, beats one man. [grunts] 861 00:45:09,661 --> 00:45:13,141 -What a goal! -Welcome to the family. [laughs] 862 00:45:13,221 --> 00:45:14,661 Honest, Mimi, I love her. 863 00:45:14,741 --> 00:45:15,981 You'd better, Ian. 864 00:45:17,061 --> 00:45:18,340 Your bollocks come off. 865 00:45:21,621 --> 00:45:24,340 -Come on, let's get pissed. -[indistinct chatter] 866 00:46:15,501 --> 00:46:17,621 [Molly and Stan moaning] 867 00:46:18,461 --> 00:46:21,780 [Stan screaming] Elvis has left the building! 868 00:46:22,221 --> 00:46:23,900 [both pant] 869 00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:25,860 ["Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley playing] 870 00:46:29,181 --> 00:46:30,261 Debbie! 871 00:46:30,981 --> 00:46:31,981 [Molly sighs] 62514

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