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[Frank] Now, nobody's saying
the Chatsworth Estate
2
00:00:09,781 --> 00:00:11,781
is the Garden of Eden, you know
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00:00:11,861 --> 00:00:15,660
but it's been a good home
to us, to me, Frank Gallagher,
4
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:18,581
and me kids, who I'm proud of,
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00:00:18,661 --> 00:00:22,061
'cause every single one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
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00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:23,140
[Lip gasps]
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00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:26,861
You know, they can all think for
themselves, which they've me to thank for.
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00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:27,780
[Carl] Run for it!
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00:00:28,421 --> 00:00:30,660
Fiona, who's a big help. Massive help.
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00:00:31,381 --> 00:00:35,540
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is
why nobody calls him Phillip anymore.
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00:00:36,061 --> 00:00:38,540
Ian, a lot like his mam,
which is handy for the others,
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00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,381
'cause she's disappeared into thin air.
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00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:41,781
-[barking]
-[Frank] Carl.
14
00:00:41,860 --> 00:00:43,900
Daren't let him grow his hair.
One, it stands on end,
15
00:00:43,981 --> 00:00:46,461
makes him look like Toyah.
Two, nits love him.
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00:00:47,061 --> 00:00:50,940
Debbie. Total angel.
You've to check your change
17
00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:53,701
but she'll go miles out
of her way to do you a favour.
18
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:58,260
Plus Liam. Little rock 'n' roller,
you know, gonna be a star.
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00:00:58,341 --> 00:01:00,501
-Once we've got the fits under control.
-[Liam screams]
20
00:01:01,101 --> 00:01:06,301
Steve, posh lad, different planet.
The truth is out there. Not.
21
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:10,981
Kev and Veronica, fantastic neighbours,
you know, lend ya anything.
22
00:01:11,301 --> 00:01:14,181
Well, not anything.
But all of them, to a man,
23
00:01:14,261 --> 00:01:16,941
know first and foremost
one of the most vital
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00:01:17,021 --> 00:01:21,420
necessities in this life
is they know how to throw a party!
25
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:23,541
[Frank laughing] Scatter!
26
00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:30,500
[Debbie] Over the hills,
in a weird little land,
27
00:01:30,581 --> 00:01:33,661
live fairies and goblins
with more than two hands.
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Some gremlins, they say,
can come with four eyes.
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00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:40,581
The dragons can scorch
with the simplest of sighs.
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00:01:40,661 --> 00:01:43,101
The scariest thing to people like us,
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00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:46,140
'cause nothing can touch them,
they're allergic to fuss.
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00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:50,500
Until their mother appeared,
started roaming their valley,
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00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:53,500
hiding and pouncing
from damp, dark alleys.
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00:01:53,901 --> 00:01:57,741
No noise, no chewing,
no signs of a fight,
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00:01:57,821 --> 00:02:00,780
devouring the children
with a plate of French fries.
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00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:05,981
[Frank sings indistinctly]
37
00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:07,860
[humming]
38
00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:10,260
Morning, Jackie!
39
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:13,260
[Debbie] They swim
for their souls inside her belly.
40
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:16,141
She laughs at their struggle,
and turns 'em to jelly.
41
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:20,421
When she burps, the ground
shakes, the locals take cover
42
00:02:20,901 --> 00:02:25,221
as the roar of dead children repeats,
over and over.
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00:02:25,301 --> 00:02:26,701
-[bell dings]
-[Frank singing] ♪ Oh! ♪
44
00:02:26,781 --> 00:02:27,980
[Carl] Cheers, Fiona.
45
00:02:28,061 --> 00:02:28,980
-[door bangs]
-[Carl falls]
46
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,461
-[plate crashes]
-[Carl] Oh, Dad!
47
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,540
♪ Mornin'! ♪
48
00:02:32,781 --> 00:02:36,141
♪ Oh, ho, what a beautiful day ♪
49
00:02:36,221 --> 00:02:38,421
♪ I got a beautiful feeling ♪
50
00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:41,781
♪ Everythin's goin' my way ♪
51
00:02:42,341 --> 00:02:44,341
[imitates dog bark]
52
00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:49,021
[laughs]
53
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:52,100
-[Frank grunts]
-[Fiona] It's not Friday.
54
00:02:52,181 --> 00:02:54,380
[Frank] Oh, like I only come
down when there's a giro due?
55
00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:56,061
[postman] Don't go anywhere,
Frank.
56
00:03:01,461 --> 00:03:02,421
[Frank grunts]
57
00:03:07,181 --> 00:03:09,781
[Frank] What-- Hang on. Hang on.
58
00:03:14,741 --> 00:03:16,581
Unpaid Water Board, 150.
59
00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:19,540
County Court order,
Northwest Gas, 370!
60
00:03:19,621 --> 00:03:22,100
-For what?
-Uh, only a guess, but gas.
61
00:03:22,181 --> 00:03:25,820
Catalogue bill,
TV-video combi, 380.
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00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,501
[Frank] Someone's taking the piss,
who signed for the telly?
63
00:03:28,581 --> 00:03:29,741
[all] You!
64
00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:31,820
[Frank] I'll take a-- A oner for it.
65
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:34,380
All right, 90 and a shag.
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00:03:34,741 --> 00:03:36,221
Eighty and a bit of blow.
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00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:38,581
-[doorbell rings]
-Yeah, but look.
68
00:03:38,661 --> 00:03:39,901
These are all for Bishops Grove.
69
00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:41,781
We haven't lived in
Bishops Grove for three years.
70
00:03:41,861 --> 00:03:43,581
So? It's still in your name.
71
00:03:43,661 --> 00:03:45,861
Yeah, but how long's
a bloody debt good for?
72
00:03:45,941 --> 00:03:47,540
-[Fiona sighs]
-'Til you pay it.
73
00:03:47,621 --> 00:03:49,861
So what's bloody Watchdog
all about, then?
74
00:03:49,941 --> 00:03:51,781
-[doorbell rings]
-[Frank] Where is it?
75
00:03:52,461 --> 00:03:53,380
Ah! Got it!
76
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:56,260
-[Michael] Frank Gallagher in?
-[Debbie] Who?
77
00:03:56,341 --> 00:03:58,941
[George] Frank "pay-you-back" Gallagher.
78
00:03:59,260 --> 00:04:01,140
[Debbie] He's not in.
He doesn't live here!
79
00:04:01,221 --> 00:04:02,860
-[Debbie] What are you doing?
-[Fiona] Who are you?
80
00:04:02,941 --> 00:04:04,260
-Who said you could come in?
81
00:04:04,341 --> 00:04:05,901
Two grand worth of debt,
and still mountin' up.
82
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,061
-[Fiona grunts]
-[Michael] Right, check out the back.
83
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,621
[siren blaring]
84
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:11,461
[passer-by grunts]
85
00:04:14,941 --> 00:04:16,420
[siren blaring]
86
00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:20,261
Jesus!
87
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,421
[siren blaring continues]
88
00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:36,940
-[car tyres squealing]
-[Frank screams]
89
00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:38,021
Right. Come on, here.
90
00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:39,101
-Right.
-[Fiona screams]
91
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:40,661
-[Lip grunts]
-[Ian grunts]
92
00:04:41,101 --> 00:04:43,940
Right, he pays up, or he does without!
93
00:04:44,461 --> 00:04:46,461
-And we're talking legs.
-[George] Where is he?
94
00:04:47,861 --> 00:04:51,060
Right! Telly for starters, and the video.
95
00:04:51,141 --> 00:04:53,381
I'll phone for the van.
Get the settee, eh?
96
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,301
You two! On your feet, now!
97
00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:57,021
Here, I stuck a tape in for 007.
98
00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:59,261
-What?
-[Carl] I've stuck a tape in
99
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,180
and that's my tape.
100
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,021
-Shit!
-Get your hands off him!
101
00:05:05,101 --> 00:05:06,581
-Oh, right--
-[crashes]
102
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,781
[gasping]
103
00:05:12,341 --> 00:05:14,861
-[Michael] You little--
-[Fiona] You touch her and I'll kill you!
104
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:15,901
[Tony] Frank?
105
00:05:15,981 --> 00:05:18,261
-Did your dad come this way?
-[Fiona] He doesn't live here!
106
00:05:18,341 --> 00:05:20,701
I just clipped him with the wing mirror.
He just ran straight into the van.
107
00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:21,661
Hey, what's going on?
108
00:05:22,981 --> 00:05:27,341
Debt recovery technicians.
TIC Security.
109
00:05:27,421 --> 00:05:28,740
[Fiona] Tony, they barged straight in,
110
00:05:28,821 --> 00:05:31,060
and this bastard has just kicked our Carl.
111
00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,261
They're after your dad.
112
00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:35,141
He doesn't live here! Tell them!
113
00:05:35,821 --> 00:05:38,141
Now, Frank Gallagher
has not lived here in a while.
114
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:39,581
Hey, that's funny.
115
00:05:39,661 --> 00:05:42,500
So, how come his name's on the--
The rent books of this address?
116
00:05:42,581 --> 00:05:45,781
Hey, that's funny. Which one
of you breached Data Protection
117
00:05:45,861 --> 00:05:46,821
to get that then, eh?
118
00:05:49,301 --> 00:05:50,740
[Tony] Furniture's none of your business.
119
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,101
Belongs to Fiona.
120
00:05:52,461 --> 00:05:54,261
So, what are we, lads?
121
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,060
Technicians or burglars?
122
00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:03,341
Sarge, you'd best bring the lads in.
123
00:06:03,421 --> 00:06:04,261
Whoa, whoa.
124
00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:18,781
[siren blaring]
125
00:06:23,581 --> 00:06:25,221
-Yes, Tony.
-No, no. Listen.
126
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,060
The more you cover him, the more
your dad's gonna take the piss.
127
00:06:28,141 --> 00:06:30,421
-He won't change.
-That's my problem, Tony.
128
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,820
No, it's you shouldering
everybody else's problems
129
00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:34,940
while he's lappin' it up
round at Sheila Jackson's.
130
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:38,060
-They're not your kids.
-I don't have a choice.
131
00:06:38,141 --> 00:06:39,861
Well, that's exactly
what I'm saying. You do.
132
00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,380
You can come and live with me.
133
00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,380
-What?
-[Tony] Seventeen grand a year.
134
00:06:44,461 --> 00:06:47,380
Discount mortgage, eh,
preferential insurance rates.
135
00:06:47,461 --> 00:06:48,661
No debts, except the--
136
00:06:48,901 --> 00:06:51,541
Well, no. Come March,
I'll even own the car outright.
137
00:06:52,341 --> 00:06:55,301
-I could change your life.
-I've got the life I want.
138
00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:59,981
And you are not blind.
You know I've got a boyfriend.
139
00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:03,261
That bloke's not your friend! Not if
he's happy leaving you in that state.
140
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,620
You're bugging me now, Tony.
And I'm late for work.
141
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:06,541
Marry me.
142
00:07:08,141 --> 00:07:11,101
-I mean it, Fiona. I love you.
-[scoffs]
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00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:12,820
Marry me.
144
00:07:12,901 --> 00:07:15,981
[school bell ringing]
145
00:07:16,581 --> 00:07:17,901
-[Fiona] Come on.
-[van door opens]
146
00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:26,141
[back door slides open and shut]
147
00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:34,380
-What?
-MP3 player all over again.
148
00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:35,861
First you see, you buy.
149
00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:38,141
And you still can't get it
to download, can ya?
150
00:07:38,661 --> 00:07:41,781
You had sex with her once.
Frank Gallagher's daughter,
151
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,740
talk about startin'
at rock-bleedin'-bottom.
152
00:07:45,301 --> 00:07:46,901
-[tyres squeal]
-[groans]
153
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:51,021
It took you and Tamsin
four years to buy a flat.
154
00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:52,500
Yeah, but good decisions need time.
155
00:07:52,581 --> 00:07:55,380
[scoffs] Three months later
you're back at your mum's,
156
00:07:55,461 --> 00:07:58,421
Tamsin owns the flat,
and she's moved her "brother" in.
157
00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,820
Yeah, but she just needs thinkin' time.
158
00:07:59,901 --> 00:08:01,060
[scoffs]
159
00:08:01,141 --> 00:08:02,060
It is her brother.
160
00:08:02,461 --> 00:08:03,981
Fuck off. He's black.
161
00:08:05,341 --> 00:08:06,341
[door chimes]
162
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:09,180
[tins crashing]
163
00:08:13,301 --> 00:08:15,500
[items crashing]
164
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,301
[banging on door]
165
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,461
[Frank grunts]
166
00:08:28,901 --> 00:08:30,541
[breathes heavily]
167
00:08:31,301 --> 00:08:32,421
Sorry, Yvonne, I'm--
168
00:08:32,501 --> 00:08:33,901
I thought someone was following us.
169
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:36,381
-You're pickin' that up.
-[Frank] Yeah, yeah. I will.
170
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:38,661
-Exactly as it were before.
-I will.
171
00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:41,700
[Frank mumbles]
172
00:08:41,781 --> 00:08:44,340
And while you're down there,
you can dust the tins.
173
00:08:46,781 --> 00:08:48,741
-[Yvonne] Ugh!
-Just-- Just watch the door.
174
00:08:50,141 --> 00:08:51,181
-[thudding]
-Yeah,
175
00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:52,621
-but it doesn't make sense.
-[grunting]
176
00:08:52,701 --> 00:08:54,421
Why'd it take three years
for the creditors to catch up?
177
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,460
'Cause we did a moonlight flit
from our last place.
178
00:08:56,541 --> 00:08:58,100
Yeah, a night I'll never forget.
179
00:08:58,181 --> 00:09:00,460
Kids this high carryin' furniture,
180
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,021
couldn't tell a word Frank said.
181
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,741
Me and Kev thought they were Bosnians.
182
00:09:03,821 --> 00:09:05,261
After a week, we were wishing
they had been.
183
00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:07,181
Yeah, all right. But then
nothing for three years
184
00:09:07,261 --> 00:09:08,861
and then everybody finds out
at once.
185
00:09:08,941 --> 00:09:11,861
Steve's right.
Plus, Dad was looking for a letter.
186
00:09:11,941 --> 00:09:14,381
-Meaning?
-[Lip] He were in top form. Why?
187
00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:15,661
What was he waiting for?
188
00:09:15,741 --> 00:09:17,781
He never gets letters here,
apart from his giro.
189
00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:20,501
And all the bills were addressed
to Vernon Francis Gallagher.
190
00:09:21,741 --> 00:09:23,460
I reckon he's broke the rules.
191
00:09:24,181 --> 00:09:25,621
He's used his full name somewhere.
192
00:09:25,701 --> 00:09:29,181
-[doorbell rings]
-[Lip gasps]
193
00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:31,661
You go, Veronica.
If it's a bailiff, say I'm out.
194
00:09:31,741 --> 00:09:33,061
-[Veronica] What?
-Go, go, go, go!
195
00:09:33,141 --> 00:09:34,340
[Veronica mumbles indistinctly]
196
00:09:37,581 --> 00:09:39,501
It's never little Fiona.
197
00:09:39,581 --> 00:09:41,661
No, it's little Veronica.
198
00:09:42,261 --> 00:09:43,261
Fuck do you want?
199
00:09:44,381 --> 00:09:47,141
Mr Wilson, housing officer.
200
00:09:53,141 --> 00:09:55,901
[chase music playing]
201
00:10:12,941 --> 00:10:13,980
[tyres squealing]
202
00:10:17,781 --> 00:10:19,301
[Michael] Don't lose him, George!
203
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:35,980
Hello, Frank.
204
00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:42,061
[door opens, closes]
205
00:10:42,581 --> 00:10:44,181
Hey, Frank,
while you're down there,
206
00:10:44,261 --> 00:10:45,701
can you just mop that sick up?
207
00:10:46,741 --> 00:10:48,581
[indistinct chatter]
208
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:53,621
-Phillip, Ian, Deborah--
-Debbie.
209
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:57,980
Carl and, uh...
210
00:11:01,181 --> 00:11:03,141
-Nope.
-Liam.
211
00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:05,860
Get away. [chuckles]
Liam Gallagher!
212
00:11:06,661 --> 00:11:09,181
You're never going
to live that one down, my son.
213
00:11:10,661 --> 00:11:12,901
[chuckles] You wee tinker.
214
00:11:13,661 --> 00:11:16,061
-So, where's your dad?
-He don't live here.
215
00:11:17,501 --> 00:11:19,381
This house has six to eight berths.
216
00:11:20,061 --> 00:11:21,941
I've got people on the list
looking for houses this size.
217
00:11:22,301 --> 00:11:24,901
So if all the berths
aren't in use, you're out.
218
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,821
Plus, there's me.
219
00:11:28,261 --> 00:11:30,860
-Who are you?
-I'm Frank's eldest, Stevie.
220
00:11:32,581 --> 00:11:34,980
-So, Frank's--
-Still in Iraq.
221
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,781
-Come again?
-Uh, he joined the army.
222
00:11:38,381 --> 00:11:39,740
Now I know you're pullin' my leg,
223
00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:41,261
'cause I was on the phone
to Frank yesterday.
224
00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:42,941
We had an appointment here.
225
00:11:43,021 --> 00:11:48,661
Never kid a kidder.
I don't like being lied to.
226
00:11:50,941 --> 00:11:54,261
Start again?
It's four bedrooms or five here?
227
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,261
Four, why?
228
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,261
Request from the Child Support Agency
229
00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,661
for a "domestic circumstances appraisal."
230
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,501
[chuckles]
231
00:12:02,701 --> 00:12:04,501
-Their phrase, not mine.
-Hang on!
232
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,340
What's any of this got to do
with the Child Support Agency?
233
00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:09,860
Presumably because your mum
asked for a summary.
234
00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:15,781
[Celtic flute playing]
235
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:18,340
Mum?
236
00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:21,021
[Carl] You know where she is?
237
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:25,941
Don't you?
238
00:12:29,061 --> 00:12:32,100
So who filed a claim against her,
if your dad's not living here?
239
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,021
[man on TV] Well, some useful
tips there about, uh, dahlias...
240
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,781
What have you done?
241
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:50,061
-[sighs]
-[TV playing indistinctly]
242
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,181
[Frank sighs]
243
00:12:53,061 --> 00:12:54,061
Now, do us a favour.
244
00:12:55,381 --> 00:12:56,620
Ring this number.
245
00:12:57,061 --> 00:12:59,340
Find out if Monica's there.
If she is...
246
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:03,301
then tell her congratulations,
she's won.
247
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,021
-Who's Monica?
-Doesn't matter!
248
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:07,620
Won what?
249
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:10,501
Uh, y-- Well, you know, whatever.
Uh, lottery.
250
00:13:10,941 --> 00:13:12,860
-Teddy bear!
-For what?
251
00:13:12,941 --> 00:13:14,901
Just do as you're told
and make the call!
252
00:13:16,261 --> 00:13:19,100
Just a teddy bear. [chuckles]
253
00:13:19,181 --> 00:13:22,620
Massive! Just say that!
254
00:13:24,141 --> 00:13:27,181
Well, I hope Monica, whoever she is,
worked very hard for it.
255
00:13:33,061 --> 00:13:36,181
-The f--
-[door closes]
256
00:13:39,581 --> 00:13:43,181
Hey, hey. [chuckles]
257
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:46,501
What? You th-- You think
I'm going around chasing skirt?
258
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,421
Come on. Give over, Sheila.
259
00:13:48,781 --> 00:13:50,901
A bloke couldn't love anybody
more than I love you.
260
00:13:55,661 --> 00:13:57,901
Come on,
she's not really won a teddy.
261
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,941
And if I was givin' away a teddy,
262
00:14:03,541 --> 00:14:05,541
you'd be absolutely top of the list.
263
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,501
I'll let you give us one
with the biggest in the box.
264
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,301
Sure you're ready for that?
265
00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:21,901
Yeah, just give us a couple of aspirin,
get it over and done with.
266
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:22,941
[chuckles]
267
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:27,581
Then, you ring Monica. Yeah?
268
00:14:34,261 --> 00:14:37,781
[groovy music playing]
269
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,541
[Carl] Get in. Debbie, get in.
270
00:14:48,661 --> 00:14:50,500
-[lock clicking]
-[door opening]
271
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,541
-Michael, over.
-[door closes]
272
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,661
Anything your end, George? Over.
273
00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:00,980
[George] Nothing, Michael. Over.
274
00:15:01,581 --> 00:15:04,220
-[beeping sound]
-This'll be ready in a sec.
275
00:15:04,301 --> 00:15:05,261
Over.
276
00:15:06,901 --> 00:15:09,301
[George] Am I comin' over? Over.
277
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:13,100
Yeah, come over. Over.
278
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:29,541
[slurping]
279
00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:32,541
Oh, hello!
280
00:15:46,141 --> 00:15:49,261
[music playing]
281
00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:57,380
-Is he not in here?
-Daren't go home.
282
00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:59,980
Which is great for the till,
so don't go cheerin' him up.
283
00:16:00,061 --> 00:16:02,821
[video game machines beeping]
284
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:14,421
-You know where Mum is, don't ya?
-No.
285
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,781
Liar. We've had the housing officer
round.
286
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:19,100
You know where she is
'cause you filed a claim against her.
287
00:16:19,181 --> 00:16:20,941
They know where she is,
wouldn't give us the address.
288
00:16:24,181 --> 00:16:27,181
[huffs] We have got bailiffs
front and back 'cause of you.
289
00:16:27,261 --> 00:16:29,181
Oh, here we go, 'cause of me.
No one blames your mum, do they?
290
00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:31,620
No one has a go at
that pan face, gutless bitch.
291
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,340
Bloody right, I've made a claim!
292
00:16:35,421 --> 00:16:36,901
The pain she's caused me...
293
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:39,500
The shit Monica's loaded on me.
294
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,261
She's livin' it up
with a bloke in Moston
295
00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:44,100
and I'm fetching up six kids
on fucking peanuts.
296
00:16:44,181 --> 00:16:45,781
You are not bringing up six kids.
297
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:47,821
You never brought up six kids. I am!
298
00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:49,821
If there's any money coming,
it's owed to me.
299
00:16:49,901 --> 00:16:51,421
-[door opens]
-[footsteps approaching]
300
00:16:51,821 --> 00:16:53,340
How do you know she's in Moston?
301
00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:57,421
Jackie Peasgood gave me her number.
302
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,701
At least, that's how the CSA traced her.
303
00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:03,421
It's a Moston code.
304
00:17:06,501 --> 00:17:09,100
[indistinct chatter]
305
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,940
-Have you talked to her?
-Have I fuck.
306
00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:22,140
If she finds out I'm on to her,
won't see her for dust, will we?
307
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,420
I want to see that money.
308
00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:30,221
-What?
-[telephone ringing]
309
00:17:30,861 --> 00:17:33,821
-She thinks she's won a teddy.
-[line connecting]
310
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,541
Monica?
311
00:17:36,581 --> 00:17:39,141
Oh, hello, it's Sheila here
312
00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:42,221
from Cost Chopper, the mini market.
313
00:17:44,381 --> 00:17:47,981
I'm delighted to announce
you've won the raffle.
314
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,261
It's a teddy bear.
315
00:17:54,381 --> 00:17:57,301
First prize, biggest teddy there is.
316
00:18:00,141 --> 00:18:01,221
I know. [chuckles]
317
00:18:04,621 --> 00:18:06,180
I've never won anything, either.
318
00:18:07,981 --> 00:18:09,261
I bet you're thrilled, aren't ya?
319
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,381
-I'm thrilled for ya.
-[chains rattling]
320
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:16,021
Anyway, prize giving's at six o'clock.
321
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:20,021
Carol Vorderman's
making the presentation.
322
00:18:21,621 --> 00:18:23,061
She doesn't know who Carol is.
323
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,180
How could you not know
who Carol Vorderman is?
324
00:18:27,261 --> 00:18:28,660
[mouthing]
325
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,581
Anyway, it's, um, six on the dot.
326
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,221
Richard Whiteley might be there
an' all. [chuckles]
327
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:37,461
Bye, Monica.
328
00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:41,301
She's never heard
of Richard Whiteley.
329
00:18:42,381 --> 00:18:44,821
-Is she comin'?
-Richard Whiteley.
330
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:47,381
Did she say she was pickin' up
the prize or not?
331
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:50,021
Yes. Big daft moo.
332
00:18:53,101 --> 00:18:54,420
How do you know her anyway?
333
00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:57,741
So if she's daft enough
to show her face,
334
00:18:57,821 --> 00:18:59,900
I'm gonna follow her and find
out exactly where she's hidin'.
335
00:18:59,981 --> 00:19:02,261
We need you at home
when Wilson comes back.
336
00:19:03,221 --> 00:19:04,541
Well, what-- When's he offering?
337
00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:06,781
Tomorrow, eleven o'clock.
338
00:19:07,341 --> 00:19:08,541
All right. I'll see if I can make it.
339
00:19:08,621 --> 00:19:10,021
[Fiona] You will not see
if you can anything,
340
00:19:10,101 --> 00:19:12,301
you will bloody well be there
and sort this out!
341
00:19:12,381 --> 00:19:16,341
-[footsteps fading]
-[door opens, slams]
342
00:19:18,341 --> 00:19:19,341
Ready, Frank?
343
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,461
[indistinct chatter]
344
00:19:32,981 --> 00:19:36,141
-[vehicle approaching]
-[brakes squeaking]
345
00:19:42,221 --> 00:19:43,781
[angry muttering]
346
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,621
Monica.
347
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,341
[Frank] Monica?
348
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,821
[Lip sighing]
349
00:20:23,461 --> 00:20:25,141
All right, what kinda money
are we talking?
350
00:20:25,221 --> 00:20:27,341
[sighs] Over seven grand so far.
351
00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:29,660
-Christ, what'd your dad spend it on?
-Not the house.
352
00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:31,141
-Not clothes.
-Not food.
353
00:20:31,221 --> 00:20:35,101
Here we go, one of the original
labour saving devices,
354
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:37,660
-beaten only by the vibrator.
-[all laughing]
355
00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:39,861
-[Fiona] Veronica!
-What?
356
00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:41,261
They all know what a vibrator is.
357
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,101
That may be,
but it's not for discussin'
358
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:45,221
-in an open house.
-Oh, grow up.
359
00:20:45,301 --> 00:20:47,420
Right, if it dries up, just gob on it.
360
00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:50,700
-[grunts] See.
-[Fiona groans]
361
00:20:51,021 --> 00:20:52,541
[Veronica] Right, kids, what am I doin'?
362
00:20:52,861 --> 00:20:54,981
[indistinct chatter]
363
00:20:55,061 --> 00:20:58,101
[music playing]
364
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:25,141
[sobbing]
365
00:21:26,381 --> 00:21:30,180
Look at the state of her!
Huh, your idea of a joke?
366
00:21:30,461 --> 00:21:33,461
'Cause you're scared of women
with opinions, eh?
367
00:21:33,741 --> 00:21:37,180
Well, watch this space, crinkle dick.
368
00:21:37,621 --> 00:21:39,101
I'll show you what's funny
369
00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:41,420
when I rip the face
of your fucking head!
370
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,940
You twisted, fascist old shit!
371
00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:54,741
Are you sure
you got the right shop?
372
00:21:54,821 --> 00:21:55,781
Yeah.
373
00:21:56,261 --> 00:21:59,021
I'm asking you to think, Monica.
Did they say Cost Chopper?
374
00:21:59,101 --> 00:22:01,261
Yeah, I wrote it down. [sniffles]
375
00:22:01,341 --> 00:22:03,180
I wrote everything down.
376
00:22:03,501 --> 00:22:06,821
Stop talking to me like I'm stupid. [sobs]
377
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:07,861
[truck door slams]
378
00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:12,700
[sobs]
379
00:22:12,781 --> 00:22:14,381
[fast music playing]
380
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:16,981
-Frank?
-[Norma] What?
381
00:22:18,021 --> 00:22:19,180
It's Frank!
382
00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:24,700
[Monica] Frank!
383
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:40,541
I couldn't see a thing 'cause
that truck was in the way.
384
00:22:40,621 --> 00:22:42,460
-Did you see the missus?
-She's seen me, start the car!
385
00:22:42,541 --> 00:22:43,981
Come on, come on!
She's here, she's here!
386
00:22:44,061 --> 00:22:46,301
-Who's the other bird?
-Her bloke. A truck driver.
387
00:22:46,381 --> 00:22:48,101
-What's all that about?
-Eh?
388
00:22:48,781 --> 00:22:50,581
Come on, floor it, Kev, or we're done for.
389
00:22:51,221 --> 00:22:52,180
[Norma] Come here!
390
00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:54,981
Oh! Yeah. Drive, you bastard!
391
00:22:55,621 --> 00:22:58,501
[upbeat music playing]
392
00:23:02,061 --> 00:23:06,061
[horn honking]
393
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,900
Come on, faster than this,
you gormless dick!
394
00:23:11,981 --> 00:23:14,101
If it went faster than this,
I would have got rid of her long since.
395
00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:15,180
Why the hell didn't you tell me
396
00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:16,900
-she was a lezza?
-[Frank] Oh, hello.
397
00:23:16,981 --> 00:23:18,021
If I'd have known she was a lezza,
398
00:23:18,101 --> 00:23:19,621
I'd have asked her back, wouldn't I?
399
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,660
[horn honking]
400
00:23:25,261 --> 00:23:28,821
-Next exit, Kev.
-[horn honking]
401
00:23:31,821 --> 00:23:32,781
[Frank] Come on!
402
00:23:40,221 --> 00:23:42,541
[tyres squealing]
403
00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:45,341
-[bell dings]
-What did I tell ya?
404
00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:47,541
Milk and egg mixed by whisk,
coat very gently,
405
00:23:47,621 --> 00:23:49,101
it'll always crisp. [chuckles]
406
00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:52,420
-Smells fantastic, Sheila.
-Thanks to you, the new Delia.
407
00:23:53,621 --> 00:23:56,460
Actually, I've lost patience with Delia
since the new haircut.
408
00:23:56,541 --> 00:23:57,501
It's too severe.
409
00:23:57,981 --> 00:23:59,501
Plus, she never writes back.
410
00:24:01,180 --> 00:24:04,821
-[bang on door]
-[screams] What?
411
00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:08,460
What about the bloody car?
Oh, for cr-- Get it shifted,
412
00:24:08,541 --> 00:24:10,261
-you dateless, ginger nonce.
-[Sheila whimpers]
413
00:24:10,861 --> 00:24:12,261
You're crossing the line here, Frank.
414
00:24:12,341 --> 00:24:14,781
Ginger's all I've got left
of me dad, so I'm warnin' ya!
415
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:16,821
[truck approaching]
416
00:24:19,581 --> 00:24:23,621
[truck engine revs]
417
00:24:30,621 --> 00:24:32,420
[truck doors close]
418
00:24:39,221 --> 00:24:41,781
[banging on door]
419
00:24:42,141 --> 00:24:44,420
Oh! Sheila, key! Back door key,
where have you put it?
420
00:24:44,501 --> 00:24:47,541
I'm trying to concentrate
a little bit here, Frank, thank you.
421
00:24:47,621 --> 00:24:48,460
[Frank] Oh! [grunts]
422
00:24:51,021 --> 00:24:54,101
-Mum.
-"Mum"?
423
00:25:00,261 --> 00:25:02,581
[pants]
424
00:25:15,141 --> 00:25:16,101
Debbie?
425
00:25:19,541 --> 00:25:20,501
[sighs]
426
00:25:33,821 --> 00:25:36,021
[breathing heavily]
427
00:25:39,420 --> 00:25:40,781
[panting]
428
00:25:42,781 --> 00:25:45,061
Hey, it's nowt to do with me.
I'm-- I'm just-- I'm just the driver.
429
00:25:45,141 --> 00:25:46,180
That's driving? Ha!
430
00:25:46,741 --> 00:25:48,420
Yeah. Anyway, I've--
I've got to get back to work,
431
00:25:48,501 --> 00:25:49,900
I told them I'd only be a half hour.
432
00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:52,781
There's plenty of other jobs.
433
00:25:55,061 --> 00:25:57,101
That were a filthy bloody trick.
434
00:25:58,301 --> 00:25:59,700
I had me heart set on that teddy.
435
00:25:59,781 --> 00:26:03,460
Oh! Oh, uh, "teddy", is it?
"Heart set", is it?
436
00:26:03,541 --> 00:26:05,940
So what about your kids?
You know, your six kids,
437
00:26:06,021 --> 00:26:09,420
youngest being four month old
when you ran off with fucking Shrek.
438
00:26:09,940 --> 00:26:12,220
-Am I answering that, Monica?
-No.
439
00:26:13,821 --> 00:26:15,861
I didn't leave you, Frank.
440
00:26:15,940 --> 00:26:17,861
You bloody did! You pissed off!
441
00:26:18,180 --> 00:26:19,940
[Monica] I didn't leave me family.
442
00:26:20,021 --> 00:26:22,261
You'd done just about
your worst to destroy me.
443
00:26:22,341 --> 00:26:24,900
When I turned up at Norma's
that night, I was like a bloody--
444
00:26:24,981 --> 00:26:27,741
-Emotional cripple.
-Total emotional cripple
445
00:26:27,821 --> 00:26:29,741
with not one iota of self-respect.
446
00:26:30,301 --> 00:26:34,061
You drove me into the ground,
you'd robbed me of any dignity
447
00:26:34,141 --> 00:26:35,460
I ever had, and...
448
00:26:38,021 --> 00:26:38,981
[scoffs]
449
00:26:39,660 --> 00:26:41,301
Where's the rest of the kids?
450
00:26:41,381 --> 00:26:42,981
-Playing out.
-They live round at Fiona's.
451
00:26:57,621 --> 00:26:59,581
-George. Over.
-[George] Michael. Over.
452
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,180
-[Carl] Oi!
-Sit down, mate.
453
00:27:01,261 --> 00:27:02,581
[indistinct chatter]
454
00:27:02,660 --> 00:27:03,981
-[Liam babbling]
-[Steve] Hey, hey, hey.
455
00:27:04,061 --> 00:27:05,141
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
456
00:27:05,741 --> 00:27:06,781
[Steve grunts]
457
00:27:06,861 --> 00:27:08,301
-[Lip coughs]
-[Veronica] You.
458
00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:10,141
[man on TV] Coming up next is...
459
00:27:10,220 --> 00:27:12,021
[indistinct chatter]
460
00:27:12,101 --> 00:27:14,940
[Liam] I was trying to move
out of the way for you.
461
00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:16,501
Debbie?
462
00:27:17,581 --> 00:27:20,940
[TV playing]
463
00:27:41,180 --> 00:27:42,541
What's up, sweetheart?
464
00:27:44,341 --> 00:27:47,301
Did he have one too many? [sighs]
465
00:27:47,781 --> 00:27:49,180
Just ignore him.
466
00:27:49,581 --> 00:27:51,861
Why do you always blame Dad first?
467
00:28:03,180 --> 00:28:07,261
-[Lip] Hey! Come on!
-[all clamouring]
468
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:08,700
Come on.
469
00:28:08,781 --> 00:28:10,460
-Come on.
-I'm going round Sheila's.
470
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:13,741
Mum's round there.
471
00:28:23,621 --> 00:28:25,220
Oh, Christ, Fiona. Come here.
472
00:28:32,501 --> 00:28:35,220
-Is this-- Is this a good idea?
-I don't know.
473
00:28:35,541 --> 00:28:36,741
It wasn't mine, was it?
474
00:28:37,501 --> 00:28:40,101
She just rolled up,
scared the shit out of Debbie.
475
00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,261
Listen.
476
00:28:42,741 --> 00:28:43,700
Listen.
477
00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:50,700
-I know how you're feeling.
-[sobs]
478
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:55,220
-You can't.
-[sobs]
479
00:28:56,541 --> 00:28:58,900
What if you just go round?
I'll come with you.
480
00:29:00,700 --> 00:29:02,741
Look at their faces, for fuck's sakes.
481
00:29:03,061 --> 00:29:06,980
-[Ian] I'll be with you.
-[Carl] We both will, won't we?
482
00:29:10,501 --> 00:29:14,861
Wrong, Carl.
'Cause I am not fucking comin'!
483
00:29:17,781 --> 00:29:20,021
[sobs]
484
00:29:20,101 --> 00:29:22,501
-You abused her.
-Oh, she asked me to!
485
00:29:22,581 --> 00:29:25,501
-Walloping her?
-What?
486
00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:28,180
-When?
-Frank, you never--
487
00:29:28,261 --> 00:29:30,660
-Oh, fuck off! When?
-That May Bank Holiday.
488
00:29:30,741 --> 00:29:33,261
Oh, you hit me in the face
with a pan of fucking porridge!
489
00:29:33,341 --> 00:29:35,180
-And you hit me back!
-So? Queensberry Rules.
490
00:29:35,261 --> 00:29:36,700
You broke me nose and two front teeth!
491
00:29:36,781 --> 00:29:38,700
Up to casualty, looking like
Ann fuckin' Widdecombe!
492
00:29:38,781 --> 00:29:40,301
You started it, you mad bitch!
493
00:29:40,381 --> 00:29:42,420
And I'll finish it
if you lay a finger on her!
494
00:29:43,180 --> 00:29:45,021
Norma, we're both just third parties here.
495
00:29:45,781 --> 00:29:48,660
Why don't we both just duck out
and leave Monica
496
00:29:48,741 --> 00:29:50,940
-to make her apologies?
-Apologies?
497
00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:52,781
For walking out on this piece of shit?
498
00:29:52,861 --> 00:29:55,980
Not particularly.
For walking out on them.
499
00:30:00,261 --> 00:30:01,301
Oh, my God.
500
00:30:02,861 --> 00:30:04,660
It's all right, I'm not one of yours.
501
00:30:04,741 --> 00:30:07,061
Just came for a look. Oh, Kev!
502
00:30:15,781 --> 00:30:16,980
Come on, let us in.
503
00:30:18,821 --> 00:30:19,781
[sighs]
504
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:22,900
I know you don't need anybody,
Debs, but...
505
00:30:23,700 --> 00:30:24,980
[sighs]
506
00:30:27,940 --> 00:30:29,061
What if I do?
507
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:34,220
[shuddering breath]
508
00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:38,581
[door opens]
509
00:30:43,180 --> 00:30:47,101
[sobs]
510
00:30:49,420 --> 00:30:53,660
[sobs]
511
00:30:56,341 --> 00:30:59,940
[all sobbing]
512
00:31:00,021 --> 00:31:01,021
[TV playing]
513
00:31:01,301 --> 00:31:03,141
[woman on TV] Female genital
mutilation is...
514
00:31:03,220 --> 00:31:05,460
[TV characters screaming]
515
00:31:05,541 --> 00:31:07,660
...all of the female genitalia.
516
00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:10,381
The most severe form
is pharaonic circumcision.
517
00:31:12,541 --> 00:31:14,581
[bottles clinking]
518
00:31:14,781 --> 00:31:15,900
Monica's...
519
00:31:18,741 --> 00:31:19,741
[sobs]
520
00:31:21,341 --> 00:31:23,700
She looks absolutely beautiful.
521
00:31:26,821 --> 00:31:27,821
I-- I miss her.
522
00:31:27,900 --> 00:31:29,660
[sighs]
523
00:31:30,341 --> 00:31:32,180
[children sobbing]
524
00:31:38,301 --> 00:31:39,261
[sniffles]
525
00:31:49,980 --> 00:31:54,141
Um... I'll have paid this house off
by the time I'm 54.
526
00:31:54,381 --> 00:31:57,660
[breathes deeply]
We put down a big deposit.
527
00:32:00,381 --> 00:32:01,581
You use love eggs?
528
00:32:02,541 --> 00:32:04,900
Not so much these days, not since Frank.
529
00:32:06,420 --> 00:32:08,541
My mum had a pair before
they were even fashionable.
530
00:32:08,781 --> 00:32:11,341
I remember thinking, "Easter's
a long way off." [chuckles]
531
00:32:14,420 --> 00:32:15,900
What the fuck are you on, Sheila?
532
00:32:16,180 --> 00:32:18,980
Oh, God, now you're asking! Um...
533
00:32:20,061 --> 00:32:23,900
Seroxin, 350 milligrams.
Breakfast and teatime.
534
00:32:23,980 --> 00:32:27,821
Um, Dipipanol, 25s,
three times daily.
535
00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:30,101
Uh, Praxil, 200s.
536
00:32:30,180 --> 00:32:32,101
No, I tell a lie, it's 400s.
537
00:32:32,541 --> 00:32:36,700
Come Monday, just breakfasts.
And, um, Carbomazepan,
538
00:32:36,781 --> 00:32:39,821
uh, whenever I manage
to take them. [breathes deeply]
539
00:32:41,021 --> 00:32:44,141
♪ I am not in love ♪
540
00:32:44,501 --> 00:32:45,501
[clears throat]
541
00:32:46,180 --> 00:32:50,341
♪ But I'm open to persuasion ♪
542
00:32:51,180 --> 00:32:55,980
♪ East or West
Where's the best ♪
543
00:32:57,180 --> 00:33:00,460
♪ For romancin'? ♪
544
00:33:01,900 --> 00:33:03,821
♪ With a friend ♪
545
00:33:04,581 --> 00:33:06,900
♪ I can smile ♪
546
00:33:07,141 --> 00:33:09,581
♪ With a lover
I could hold my head back ♪
547
00:33:09,660 --> 00:33:12,061
♪ I could really laugh,
Really laugh ♪
548
00:33:13,141 --> 00:33:16,101
[breathes deeply]
549
00:33:16,180 --> 00:33:18,220
-♪ Thank you ♪
-[whimpers]
550
00:33:20,261 --> 00:33:22,141
[Fiona] What are you sticking
your arse out for?
551
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:23,861
It's these bastard shoes.
552
00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:26,581
-[passer-by catcalls]
-[dog barks]
553
00:33:27,261 --> 00:33:30,101
Frank, you're scaring the dogs.
Saying that though,
554
00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:33,141
scaring them is an improvement.
Save you a bob or two on drinks.
555
00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,301
[Fiona and Veronica chuckle]
556
00:33:34,381 --> 00:33:36,141
-I'm doing this for you.
-No, you're not, Dad.
557
00:33:36,220 --> 00:33:38,301
You're doing this
'cause you're dead if you don't.
558
00:33:38,381 --> 00:33:40,180
-George. Over.
-[George] Michael. Over.
559
00:33:40,261 --> 00:33:42,660
There's a ropey old bird here
with the eldest daughter.
560
00:33:43,220 --> 00:33:44,381
His missus, probably.
561
00:33:45,021 --> 00:33:46,621
She looks more hungover
than he does,
562
00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:48,261
so I bet he's not far away.
563
00:33:48,581 --> 00:33:51,381
Keep your eyes peeled,
your end. Over.
564
00:33:51,621 --> 00:33:52,581
[George] Over.
565
00:33:54,180 --> 00:33:55,261
I'm a wee bit early.
566
00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:58,861
[door closes]
567
00:34:00,341 --> 00:34:01,940
If you think
I'm walking back in these,
568
00:34:02,021 --> 00:34:03,781
you've got another fucking think
comin'!
569
00:34:05,940 --> 00:34:06,900
[sighs]
570
00:34:07,460 --> 00:34:08,461
Frank?
571
00:34:09,501 --> 00:34:10,541
Never!
572
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:13,180
There's these, uh,
these blokes out there,
573
00:34:13,260 --> 00:34:14,740
-who want--
-I don't want to know about
574
00:34:14,820 --> 00:34:16,901
"blokes out there that want",
not from you.
575
00:34:16,981 --> 00:34:19,501
-Fuck off! No, all I'm sayin'--
-Iraq sounded far-fetched.
576
00:34:19,941 --> 00:34:23,981
Now we know why. I've started,
so I might as well finish.
577
00:34:25,621 --> 00:34:28,780
Are you living here officially or not?
578
00:34:28,860 --> 00:34:30,700
-[Frank] I'm here, aren't I?
-[Lip and Ian snicker]
579
00:34:30,780 --> 00:34:32,700
-Shut up!
-[Billy] You certainly are.
580
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:35,780
-But sleeping where?
-My bedroom, back left.
581
00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:37,901
Eh, look, Billy, how long
have we known each other? Look.
582
00:34:38,621 --> 00:34:40,660
-What you need to know is--
-I think I know a sight more
583
00:34:40,740 --> 00:34:43,820
than I wanted.
Back left is Debbie's room.
584
00:34:43,901 --> 00:34:45,061
-No.
-[Fiona] Yeah.
585
00:34:52,260 --> 00:34:53,220
How many beds, Deborah?
586
00:34:56,180 --> 00:34:57,381
Do I nip upstairs and look?
587
00:34:58,541 --> 00:35:01,621
Single. We chucked the double out when...
588
00:35:03,181 --> 00:35:05,701
[Billy] Wait, stop. Right there.
589
00:35:06,101 --> 00:35:10,300
-I am way out of my league.
-Billy. Mr Wilson... [sighs]
590
00:35:10,381 --> 00:35:11,541
Don't do that 'cause Dad's right.
591
00:35:11,621 --> 00:35:12,941
Look, they made me do this!
592
00:35:13,021 --> 00:35:15,101
You see, I've got to avoid people,
you see.
593
00:35:15,181 --> 00:35:16,701
-You're avoiding them, Frank?
-Yeah.
594
00:35:16,780 --> 00:35:18,261
-Is that right, Frank?
-That's right.
595
00:35:18,340 --> 00:35:21,061
How long have I been doing
this job? I'm not a scaredy cat.
596
00:35:21,461 --> 00:35:23,461
I housed your mum
when she was on parole.
597
00:35:23,741 --> 00:35:25,340
-Nobody else would touch her.
-I know, I know.
598
00:35:25,421 --> 00:35:26,461
And you were a teenager.
599
00:35:26,901 --> 00:35:29,421
I've done nothing but favours.
600
00:35:29,780 --> 00:35:30,860
-But now...
-Oh.
601
00:35:30,941 --> 00:35:32,780
-...you've had it.
-[paper rustles]
602
00:35:33,780 --> 00:35:35,780
That's your copy of the report.
603
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:39,221
Good luck with the CSA claim.
'Cause when you get it,
604
00:35:39,541 --> 00:35:40,741
I want two grand off you.
605
00:35:41,021 --> 00:35:44,021
Two-- What-- What for,
for fuck's sake?
606
00:35:44,101 --> 00:35:47,541
[Billy] Rent arrears
from your last address in your other name.
607
00:35:47,621 --> 00:35:49,381
And don't think you'll get away
with that one,
608
00:35:49,461 --> 00:35:51,820
'cause I'll haunt you 'til the day you die
609
00:35:51,901 --> 00:35:54,860
for every last penny... madam.
610
00:35:55,181 --> 00:35:56,941
-[Frank grunts]
-[Billy groans]
611
00:35:57,901 --> 00:35:58,941
[Lip] What'd you do that for?
612
00:35:59,021 --> 00:36:00,061
-[both groan]
-[Billy grunts]
613
00:36:00,141 --> 00:36:01,221
[Debbie] Mr Wilson, are you okay?
614
00:36:01,300 --> 00:36:03,261
That's it? That's all you can do?
615
00:36:03,340 --> 00:36:04,780
He'll do you for assault now,
616
00:36:04,860 --> 00:36:06,461
-you gormless prick.
-Are you okay, Mr Wilson?
617
00:36:06,541 --> 00:36:09,860
-What? He started it.
-[Billy groans]
618
00:36:09,941 --> 00:36:12,221
[Fiona] You all right?
Go get some ice or something.
619
00:36:13,101 --> 00:36:14,860
Keep your head back
in case it's bleeding.
620
00:36:14,941 --> 00:36:16,141
[Veronica] No, head forwards.
621
00:36:20,021 --> 00:36:22,021
[sobs]
622
00:36:25,741 --> 00:36:27,461
[mutters]
623
00:36:34,581 --> 00:36:35,780
I try...
624
00:36:36,221 --> 00:36:39,461
[sobs] Don't I know it.
625
00:36:41,621 --> 00:36:44,021
That's why I don't go to church anymore!
626
00:36:49,061 --> 00:36:50,421
The wife's gone walkabout, George.
627
00:36:50,741 --> 00:36:52,581
She's looking a bit knocked about. Over.
628
00:36:53,340 --> 00:36:55,820
Oh, rough as arseholes actually. Over.
629
00:36:55,901 --> 00:36:56,941
[George] Ta, Michael.
630
00:36:58,661 --> 00:37:02,101
Bloke from Housing's just
come out with t'busted nose. Over.
631
00:37:03,941 --> 00:37:05,780
He must be in there. Go, go, go.
632
00:37:06,021 --> 00:37:07,780
I'll talk to the missus. Over.
633
00:37:09,820 --> 00:37:13,261
[chase music playing]
634
00:37:19,061 --> 00:37:21,780
[tyres squealing]
635
00:37:25,780 --> 00:37:26,780
[door chimes]
636
00:37:33,221 --> 00:37:34,941
[items crashing]
637
00:37:51,380 --> 00:37:52,340
[grunts]
638
00:37:56,221 --> 00:37:59,221
[panting]
Is anyone around here normal?
639
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:00,621
-[bang on door]
-[Michael] Frank!
640
00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:06,101
-[Frank grunts]
-[Michael grunts]
641
00:38:15,261 --> 00:38:16,701
[Michael] Do you think
you're clever, Frank?
642
00:38:16,780 --> 00:38:19,981
-Do you reckon this is clever?
-[Frank grunts]
643
00:38:22,501 --> 00:38:24,421
-[Frank groans]
-Steady on, Michael.
644
00:38:26,461 --> 00:38:27,941
Do you know
what your new name is, Frank?
645
00:38:28,541 --> 00:38:30,421
You know what people
are calling you around here?
646
00:38:30,501 --> 00:38:32,141
-[groans]
-Dead Man Walkin'.
647
00:38:32,461 --> 00:38:34,621
-[coughs]
-So when you change into your nightie,
648
00:38:34,701 --> 00:38:36,261
just sleep on this for us.
649
00:38:37,541 --> 00:38:38,501
[grunts]
650
00:38:39,380 --> 00:38:40,621
-[Yvonne] Do you want one?
-No.
651
00:38:40,701 --> 00:38:42,661
Then clear it up and fuck off.
652
00:38:45,021 --> 00:38:48,300
-[groaning]
-[Yvonne] You an' all.
653
00:38:50,741 --> 00:38:51,701
Men, eh?
654
00:38:52,021 --> 00:38:53,421
[fruit machine chiming]
655
00:38:53,621 --> 00:38:55,340
There you are, mate. 2.30.
656
00:38:55,981 --> 00:38:57,061
-[coins clinking]
-Ta.
657
00:38:57,860 --> 00:38:59,780
[indistinct chatter]
658
00:39:03,141 --> 00:39:04,501
[giggles]
659
00:39:06,261 --> 00:39:08,461
I'm not in market for business, love.
660
00:39:09,621 --> 00:39:11,421
Who's fuckin' asking?
661
00:39:12,021 --> 00:39:13,181
Only wanted a light.
662
00:39:13,860 --> 00:39:16,101
-[Veronica giggles]
-Sorry.
663
00:39:19,340 --> 00:39:20,501
[George] It's just that, well...
664
00:39:21,261 --> 00:39:23,181
today's been a bit, you know...
665
00:39:24,741 --> 00:39:27,621
New job, trying to get used to it.
666
00:39:27,701 --> 00:39:32,061
-Oh. Who do you work for?
-[George] TIC Security.
667
00:39:32,340 --> 00:39:33,501
-Yeah.
-Ooh.
668
00:39:33,581 --> 00:39:34,941
I know, I'm not proud of it, but...
669
00:39:35,021 --> 00:39:37,300
-[Veronica chuckling]
-[George] Lost me job.
670
00:39:37,621 --> 00:39:40,541
I've got three kids and a new mortgage.
671
00:39:41,261 --> 00:39:44,780
[Veronica] I love kids, me, and
I love mortgages. [chuckling]
672
00:39:44,981 --> 00:39:49,021
-But in that order. [giggling]
-[George chuckling]
673
00:39:50,941 --> 00:39:52,621
[Veronica] So, uh,
what have you got then?
674
00:39:53,340 --> 00:39:54,981
Right. Well, I've got an endowment,
675
00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:57,101
a repayment,
and new one's a tracker.
676
00:39:57,181 --> 00:39:58,901
Tracker? How does that work?
677
00:39:59,541 --> 00:40:01,221
Goes up and down with t'interest rates.
678
00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:02,780
-Up and down, does it?
-Yeah.
679
00:40:02,860 --> 00:40:04,021
You'll have to tell me about that one.
680
00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:05,661
-I will, I'll get you a leaflet.
-Will ya?
681
00:40:05,741 --> 00:40:07,780
-Yeah.
-[Veronica laughing]
682
00:40:12,141 --> 00:40:13,141
[doorbell rings]
683
00:40:20,221 --> 00:40:21,340
Come on, darling,
684
00:40:21,421 --> 00:40:23,340
-come and have some tea.
-I'm not very hungry.
685
00:40:28,621 --> 00:40:30,501
-[door closes]
-[plates clanking]
686
00:40:38,901 --> 00:40:41,541
-Nice and clean.
-Ian and Carl.
687
00:40:42,380 --> 00:40:45,780
-You've, uh, done well here.
-Thanks.
688
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:47,581
It's bigger than mine,
and I'm working.
689
00:40:50,981 --> 00:40:55,941
Oh, look! Remember Barbara?
Mum's sister, Barbara.
690
00:40:56,141 --> 00:40:58,021
Oh, I told you about her,
married to the John
691
00:40:58,101 --> 00:40:59,541
-with no eyebrows.
-[Norma] Oh, aye.
692
00:40:59,621 --> 00:41:02,421
Barbara gave me this
as part of me wedding present.
693
00:41:02,941 --> 00:41:06,300
Other part being what? [laughs]
694
00:41:25,661 --> 00:41:28,701
-When did you last see the car?
-It was parked outside.
695
00:41:28,780 --> 00:41:30,221
When did you last have the keys?
696
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:32,941
-In here, in me pocket.
-In here?
697
00:41:33,021 --> 00:41:34,181
[indistinct chatter]
698
00:41:34,261 --> 00:41:36,941
All right, who's the smartarse?
699
00:41:39,101 --> 00:41:42,101
I'll count to five. Five...
700
00:41:42,340 --> 00:41:46,581
[all] Four, three, two, one.
Yay!
701
00:41:46,661 --> 00:41:48,780
Waste of fucking space,
phone a taxi!
702
00:41:49,021 --> 00:41:50,621
Me phone was in the car.
703
00:41:50,701 --> 00:41:53,621
-Get out!
-[all cheering]
704
00:41:53,701 --> 00:41:56,340
[cutlery clinking]
705
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:17,820
[sighs] Look, I know
what you all think of me,
706
00:42:17,901 --> 00:42:19,340
but if I have to start apologising,
707
00:42:19,421 --> 00:42:22,780
I'll be undoin' a lot of good therapy
that Norma's been kind enough
708
00:42:22,860 --> 00:42:25,221
to pay for. Thank you, Norma.
709
00:42:32,141 --> 00:42:35,661
-You got kids, Norma?
-Not yet. What, you got
710
00:42:35,741 --> 00:42:37,661
-a problem with that?
-Norma. [clears throat]
711
00:42:37,741 --> 00:42:39,541
I'm just trying to work out
which one of you came up
712
00:42:39,621 --> 00:42:40,941
with the idea of her vanishin'.
713
00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:43,581
Mum doin' her disappearin' act.
714
00:42:44,941 --> 00:42:46,021
Liam wasn't desperate.
715
00:42:46,101 --> 00:42:47,981
'Cause he was only three months old.
716
00:42:49,141 --> 00:42:53,621
Debbie was. Carl was,
Ian was, Lip was, I was.
717
00:42:54,141 --> 00:42:55,221
We thought you were dead.
718
00:42:59,701 --> 00:43:01,221
I'm a lesbian, Fiona.
719
00:43:02,461 --> 00:43:03,300
Is she?
720
00:43:03,860 --> 00:43:06,621
How was I meant to come back
and tell you that?
721
00:43:07,141 --> 00:43:11,461
-Gently, in stages, or never.
-So, is she?
722
00:43:11,901 --> 00:43:13,820
Your mum's been through hell
and high water, Fiona.
723
00:43:13,901 --> 00:43:15,941
-Yeah.
-Better believe it, girl.
724
00:43:16,021 --> 00:43:17,541
[Fiona] Could've popped back
for five minutes.
725
00:43:17,621 --> 00:43:19,221
You might've mentioned
you were still alive,
726
00:43:19,300 --> 00:43:20,221
might have helped.
727
00:43:21,021 --> 00:43:22,101
[Norma] You-- You weren't.
728
00:43:23,101 --> 00:43:26,021
I wasn't alive, Fiona.
Not 'til I met Norma.
729
00:43:27,701 --> 00:43:30,021
Look, I swear to you, Fiona.
730
00:43:30,101 --> 00:43:32,860
I had stuck it in me diary
to ring you next week,
731
00:43:33,061 --> 00:43:35,461
for your 21st,
you know, to say "hello" and--
732
00:43:35,541 --> 00:43:36,741
And well done.
733
00:43:36,820 --> 00:43:37,780
What good were that to do?
734
00:43:37,860 --> 00:43:40,141
Well, I mean, she's done
a great job, look at you all.
735
00:43:40,780 --> 00:43:43,340
I swear to you, Lip. To all of ya.
736
00:43:43,421 --> 00:43:45,780
I'd never have left if I didn't
think Fiona could cope.
737
00:43:46,421 --> 00:43:49,181
I taught her everything she knows,
she could run rings round your dad
738
00:43:49,261 --> 00:43:50,421
before she was seven,
739
00:43:50,501 --> 00:43:51,981
-I knew you'd be safe.
-Oh.
740
00:43:52,421 --> 00:43:56,741
Well you could, couldn't ya? I mean,
it's not like I left anybody in a mess.
741
00:43:56,820 --> 00:43:58,741
I knew Fiona could cope.
742
00:44:04,021 --> 00:44:06,380
Lip, Ian,
tell her how many GCSEs
743
00:44:06,461 --> 00:44:07,981
-you're doing.
-I'm doing ten.
744
00:44:08,061 --> 00:44:09,941
Seven or eight, I'm not too sure yet.
745
00:44:10,021 --> 00:44:12,061
-Debbie. Prizes this year?
746
00:44:12,141 --> 00:44:14,501
English, Maths, Chemistry,
and neatness.
747
00:44:14,741 --> 00:44:16,741
Carl, you tell her what you built
748
00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:19,340
-when you went to Swindon.
-Triple cushion double aerofoil,
749
00:44:19,421 --> 00:44:21,780
streamlined hovercraft, went like a bomb.
750
00:44:21,860 --> 00:44:24,981
-Hovercraft to you.
-What was he doing in Swindon?
751
00:44:25,061 --> 00:44:27,021
Two-week residential for speech therapy.
752
00:44:27,461 --> 00:44:29,900
Took me a year to get him
a place, but I did it.
753
00:44:29,981 --> 00:44:33,780
-So, yeah, I coped. Thanks!
-No thanks, not to you.
754
00:44:33,860 --> 00:44:36,820
Look, if anybody could change
your dad, she could.
755
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:38,860
-I knew that.
-[Fiona] He hasn't changed.
756
00:44:38,941 --> 00:44:41,461
-How's he changed?
-Well, he's a lot cleaner.
757
00:44:41,541 --> 00:44:43,340
He's about as much help to us
as you've been.
758
00:44:43,421 --> 00:44:45,380
We'd have been better off
without both of ya.
759
00:44:45,461 --> 00:44:47,061
But you couldn't have known that
when you fucked off
760
00:44:47,141 --> 00:44:50,021
and left us to it, could ya?
You didn't know.
761
00:44:50,101 --> 00:44:51,941
You never bothered finding out.
762
00:44:52,021 --> 00:44:55,900
[beeping]
763
00:44:56,101 --> 00:44:58,421
I told you I'd get all
the blame, didn't I?
764
00:44:58,900 --> 00:45:01,701
I talked to loads of people, right?
And I heard
765
00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:03,860
-how you were getting on.
-Big fucking deal!
766
00:45:03,941 --> 00:45:06,461
Ho! I'm not happy
with all this underage swearin'!
767
00:45:06,541 --> 00:45:08,981
Oh, that's fine, Norma.
Because I'm fuckin' off anyway.
768
00:45:09,621 --> 00:45:12,581
I am proud of every one of them,
and I am proud of me
769
00:45:12,661 --> 00:45:14,181
for pulling it off.
770
00:45:15,221 --> 00:45:16,581
But they're your kids
771
00:45:16,661 --> 00:45:20,541
so you take over from here.
Housing office, bailiffs,
772
00:45:21,061 --> 00:45:25,340
schools, clinic.
Over to you, Mum!
773
00:45:25,581 --> 00:45:28,261
-[footsteps fading]
-[door opening]
774
00:45:29,741 --> 00:45:30,860
[door slams]
775
00:45:43,501 --> 00:45:44,461
[sighs]
776
00:45:46,780 --> 00:45:48,741
Hey, hey, hey, Fiona, you okay?
777
00:45:54,141 --> 00:45:55,941
Your house. Drive.
778
00:46:04,701 --> 00:46:05,661
♪ Crazy ♪
779
00:46:05,900 --> 00:46:07,300
[Monica sobs]
780
00:46:07,501 --> 00:46:11,661
♪ I'm crazy for feeling
So lonely ♪
781
00:46:16,300 --> 00:46:18,421
♪ I'm crazy ♪
782
00:46:19,941 --> 00:46:23,981
♪ I'm crazy for feeling
So blue ♪
783
00:46:26,581 --> 00:46:29,300
[Debbie] The bitch,
as she's called in the company of elves,
784
00:46:29,380 --> 00:46:32,021
brought this tormenting curse
upon herself.
785
00:46:32,461 --> 00:46:35,021
She'd been on a bender
and staggered home pissed,
786
00:46:35,101 --> 00:46:38,581
found an eighth
and some Rizlas and rolled out a spliff.
787
00:46:38,661 --> 00:46:41,461
Got the munchies and reached
for the handiest snack.
788
00:46:41,541 --> 00:46:44,541
She ate her own kids and then spat them
straight back.
789
00:46:44,860 --> 00:46:48,221
"Forgive me, my beauties.
What a dreadful mistake."
790
00:46:48,300 --> 00:46:52,021
The children can't hear her,
they've gone, it's too late.
791
00:46:54,101 --> 00:46:56,101
Sweet Jesus, no.
792
00:46:56,181 --> 00:46:58,860
Both wrists and a bottle of tablets.
793
00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:00,820
-I blame meself.
-[screams]
794
00:47:01,221 --> 00:47:02,621
Dead? How?
795
00:47:02,701 --> 00:47:04,501
[Michael] Woman over there
says heart attack.
796
00:47:04,581 --> 00:47:06,501
-[sobs]
-[gasps]
797
00:47:06,581 --> 00:47:09,021
I don't understand what I've done wrong!
798
00:47:09,101 --> 00:47:10,900
[Michael] Boo!
Two and a half grand
799
00:47:10,981 --> 00:47:12,541
-and counting.
-[Tony] Steven McBride,
800
00:47:12,621 --> 00:47:14,261
-I'm arresting you on suspicion--
801
00:47:14,340 --> 00:47:15,380
-[Fiona] Oh, no!
-I want a lawyer.
802
00:47:16,900 --> 00:47:19,900
[Carl] He's dead!
And he's not coming back!
803
00:47:20,181 --> 00:47:23,300
[upbeat music playing]
804
00:48:05,820 --> 00:48:10,541
[sobs]
805
00:48:12,461 --> 00:48:15,181
[cats snarling]
806
00:48:15,261 --> 00:48:16,221
[Monica sniffles]
56858
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