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1
00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:10,141
[Frank] Now, nobody's saying
the Chatsworth Estate
2
00:00:10,221 --> 00:00:13,461
is the Garden of Eden, you know,
but it's been a good home to us,
3
00:00:13,541 --> 00:00:15,701
to me, Frank Gallagher,
4
00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:18,581
and me kids, who I'm proud of,
5
00:00:18,661 --> 00:00:22,061
'cause every single one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
6
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:23,140
[all gasp]
7
00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:25,421
You know, they can
all think for themselves,
8
00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:27,780
-which they've me to thank for.
-[boy] Run for it!
9
00:00:28,381 --> 00:00:30,660
Fiona, who's a big help, massive help.
10
00:00:31,381 --> 00:00:33,021
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,
11
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,621
which is why nobody calls him
Phillip anymore.
12
00:00:36,021 --> 00:00:38,461
Ian, a lot like his mam,
which is handy for the others,
13
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,381
'cause she's disappeared into thin air.
14
00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:43,141
-[barks]
-Carl, daren't let him grow his hair.
15
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:45,061
One, it stands on end,
makes him look like Toyah.
16
00:00:45,141 --> 00:00:46,461
Two, nits love him.
17
00:00:47,061 --> 00:00:49,501
Debbie, total angel.
18
00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:53,620
You've to check your change, but she'd go
miles out of her way to do you a favour.
19
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:57,741
Plus Liam! Little rock 'n' roller!
Gonna be a star.
20
00:00:57,821 --> 00:01:00,501
-Once we've got the fits under control.
-[screams]
21
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,461
Steve, posh lad, different planet.
22
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:06,301
The truth is out there... Not!
23
00:01:06,861 --> 00:01:09,500
Kev and Veronica. Fantastic neighbours.
24
00:01:09,581 --> 00:01:12,261
You know, lend you anything.
Well, not anything.
25
00:01:12,341 --> 00:01:15,861
But all of them, to a man,
know first and foremost,
26
00:01:15,941 --> 00:01:18,861
one of the most vital
necessities in this life is,
27
00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:21,661
they know how to throw a party!
28
00:01:21,741 --> 00:01:23,541
-[siren wailing]
-Scatter!
29
00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:40,821
[Lip] Honour thy father and thy mother.
30
00:01:41,381 --> 00:01:43,101
But we only knew where one of them was.
31
00:01:43,901 --> 00:01:46,140
Dad were making a good
impression around at Sheila's.
32
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:49,381
He had more time for his extended family
than he ever did for us.
33
00:01:50,181 --> 00:01:51,700
For the first time in years,
34
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:55,101
I was actually starting
to like him again. [chuckles]
35
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:03,541
Even Karen seemed happier
in his company,
36
00:02:03,621 --> 00:02:05,500
which made things tons easier for me.
37
00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:07,541
She were a great girl, Karen.
38
00:02:07,621 --> 00:02:09,940
Best sex I'd ever had,
which always counts.
39
00:02:10,461 --> 00:02:12,301
Difference with this one was,
40
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:14,301
I'd never actually been
in love before.
41
00:02:23,421 --> 00:02:25,621
Right, it's been a week,
so take your time.
42
00:02:26,221 --> 00:02:27,781
-Dash, gear, pedal, yeah?
-Yep.
43
00:02:28,861 --> 00:02:30,701
-Got enough leg room?
-Kind of.
44
00:02:37,581 --> 00:02:38,421
That's fine now.
45
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:40,380
[Frank exhales]
46
00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:44,901
Failing to prepare is preparing
to fail, yeah?
47
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:47,861
-These all right?
-[groans]
48
00:02:48,141 --> 00:02:50,621
What are you trying to do to me?
-[door opens]
49
00:02:51,141 --> 00:02:52,221
[chuckles] Oh, yes!
50
00:02:52,301 --> 00:02:53,501
-There is a God!
-[door closes]
51
00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:56,221
-Are you just gonna take the piss?
-No, you look great behind the wheel.
52
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,861
Did he tell you he got done
for drink driving?
53
00:02:57,941 --> 00:02:59,380
[Frank] Tell your smart arsed boyfriend
54
00:02:59,461 --> 00:03:01,820
it was four pints of lager,
fifteen bloody years ago.
55
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:04,621
Find the bite.
Totally against all that now.
56
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,221
Okay, remember last week?
57
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,100
[Frank] Mirror.
58
00:03:10,461 --> 00:03:11,781
[Karen] Mirror, signal,
59
00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:13,021
-Manoeuvre.
-[Karen] Manoeuvre.
60
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,100
Go, go, go!
61
00:03:14,181 --> 00:03:16,221
[groans] For Christ's sake!
62
00:03:16,581 --> 00:03:18,380
-Lip!
-[Lip] What did I do?
63
00:03:19,181 --> 00:03:20,861
-[car engine revs]
-[tyres screech]
64
00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:24,980
[music playing over radio]
65
00:03:25,061 --> 00:03:27,221
[Carl] I like them sausages
in the tin, Steve,
66
00:03:27,301 --> 00:03:28,980
-the ones with the beans.
-[Steve] Mm.
67
00:03:29,061 --> 00:03:30,581
-Classy.
-I don't know.
68
00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:33,820
-Test me.
-[Liam screaming]
69
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:37,181
[indistinct chatter]
70
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:38,581
This has gotta be a wind-up.
71
00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:40,140
What's wrong?
72
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,980
Off the school. Cheeky bastards.
73
00:03:44,301 --> 00:03:46,820
"For those parents unable
to attend tomorrow evening
74
00:03:46,901 --> 00:03:48,260
a home visit will be made
75
00:03:48,341 --> 00:03:50,100
-within the next fortnight."
-No way.
76
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,181
The school's gonna get onto Social.
77
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,021
[Ian] So what do you reckon, Lip?
78
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:56,941
[sighs]
79
00:03:58,581 --> 00:04:00,061
[Fiona] We could say Dad's lost the plot
80
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,260
so a home visit's a bit awkward
at the moment.
81
00:04:02,341 --> 00:04:04,021
We could say Dad's drank the plot.
82
00:04:04,781 --> 00:04:05,941
Oh, God.
83
00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:08,100
Dad's gonna have to do the honours.
84
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,741
What? Some of us wanna
go to sixth form, you know.
85
00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:13,941
Yeah, and he's the one they wanna see,
so they can tick their boxes.
86
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,501
So if you wanna go to sixth form,
87
00:04:15,581 --> 00:04:18,180
-you better make sure Dad goes.
-Didn't know you cared.
88
00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:20,500
[Fiona] Course I care about
your future, Lip.
89
00:04:20,581 --> 00:04:22,100
You're my pension!
90
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:25,021
[Veronica] So, if you don't
turn up at school,
91
00:04:25,101 --> 00:04:27,261
some bloody teacher'll
turn up on your doorstep?
92
00:04:27,341 --> 00:04:30,620
-Yep.
-Blimey. You've no chance then.
93
00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:32,861
You're gonna have to stick a bit
of gaffer tape over Frank's gob
94
00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:34,301
and make him play dad for the night.
95
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,941
[Fiona] That's more or less the plan.
96
00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,901
That place was a right shit heap
when we went.
97
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,221
-What's happened to it?
-Don't know.
98
00:04:41,301 --> 00:04:44,421
They reckon there's too much
apathy among the parents or something.
99
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,261
Hammersley's been promoted to head.
100
00:04:46,341 --> 00:04:49,581
Hammersley? Christ on a bike.
101
00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:50,901
[Fiona] Don't.
102
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,541
[Veronica sighs] At least
Lip's doing all right.
103
00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,421
He's a bloody genius, that kid.
I'm telling ya.
104
00:04:56,341 --> 00:04:57,781
Oh, is it nearly time?
105
00:04:58,101 --> 00:05:00,981
-Uh, less than a minute.
-[Veronica groans]
106
00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:02,701
I'll have to gib this bloody lark.
107
00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:05,180
Twenty-seven more weeks and then
the catalogue's paid off.
108
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,620
-[timer ticking]
-[bell rings]
109
00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:11,740
Oh, thank God for that.
[sighs, groans]
110
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:18,740
Hot Baps is all in! Adios, losers.
111
00:05:19,141 --> 00:05:20,021
[whistles]
112
00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:22,940
-[whistling continues]
-[groans]
113
00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:24,661
[moans]
114
00:05:27,101 --> 00:05:28,060
[moans]
115
00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:34,301
-[parrot whistling]
-[moaning]
116
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:35,821
[chuckles]
117
00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:38,461
-Isn't that dangerous?
-Nah, makes 'em come a treat.
118
00:05:38,541 --> 00:05:40,380
It's my piece de whatsit.
119
00:05:40,461 --> 00:05:42,541
[man moaning]
120
00:05:43,021 --> 00:05:44,541
[parrot chirping]
121
00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:48,101
Que merda!
122
00:05:49,221 --> 00:05:50,620
-[man groans]
-[parrot squawks]
123
00:05:55,901 --> 00:05:56,861
[door closes]
124
00:05:57,461 --> 00:05:58,901
You took your time.
125
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,021
[clicks fingers]
126
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:04,180
[indistinct chatter on TV]
127
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:13,740
I'm gonna hop in the bath.
128
00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:16,380
Could you tape
Location, Location, Location?
129
00:06:16,461 --> 00:06:18,461
-Okay.
-It's Norwich tonight.
130
00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:19,661
Live from Norwich,
131
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:21,740
-it's the quiz of the week!
-Week!
132
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:23,740
[both laughing]
133
00:06:24,221 --> 00:06:25,101
Oh...
134
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:29,101
-Peter Fenn on the organ.
-Peter bloody Fenn.
135
00:06:29,461 --> 00:06:31,101
[laughs]
136
00:06:31,461 --> 00:06:32,740
[indistinct chatter on TV]
137
00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:37,541
Norwich, East Anglia, Fens,
Peter Fenn,
138
00:06:37,861 --> 00:06:39,581
-must be more than coincidence.
-For God's sake!
139
00:06:39,661 --> 00:06:41,421
[Sheila] With a name like that,
he must be a local lad.
140
00:06:42,221 --> 00:06:44,141
-[sighs]
-You ought to get out more.
141
00:06:44,461 --> 00:06:48,060
[both laughing]
142
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:53,101
You are a tonic! [giggles]
143
00:06:56,421 --> 00:06:58,581
[Kirstie Allsopp] Tonight on
Location, Location, Location,
144
00:06:58,661 --> 00:06:59,701
we're in Norfolk.
145
00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:01,701
[woman on TV] We've got to
the stage now where
146
00:07:01,781 --> 00:07:03,981
-we're desperate to buy.
-And we do need to find a house,
147
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:05,261
because...
148
00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:08,180
I'll have to tape over
one of these holiday programmes.
149
00:07:08,581 --> 00:07:10,380
[Sheila] There's some
blank tapes there somewhere.
150
00:07:10,461 --> 00:07:11,541
Help her, Frank.
151
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:14,661
What are you playing at?
152
00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:17,981
I'm finding a tape for me mum.
153
00:07:21,301 --> 00:07:22,461
Wish You Were Here...?
154
00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:30,101
Oh, no!
155
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,701
[chuckles] No way.
156
00:07:35,101 --> 00:07:36,221
And here.
157
00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:41,661
And here.
158
00:07:56,701 --> 00:07:59,940
Tracksuit top, trainers,
by the kidney beans.
159
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,221
[Yvonne over phone] I'm on it.
160
00:08:01,301 --> 00:08:03,981
[Umi] Gormless chum, acne,
dustpan and brush.
161
00:08:11,421 --> 00:08:12,421
[Ian] Sorry, we're closing.
162
00:08:12,861 --> 00:08:13,781
Whoa!
163
00:08:15,101 --> 00:08:16,180
Pockets.
164
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:18,981
And you, crater face.
165
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,661
Is that a dustpan under your jacket
or are you just pleased to see me?
166
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,101
Stick them where the sun don't shine.
167
00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:24,820
49p, please.
168
00:08:25,141 --> 00:08:27,141
Let us out, or we'll torch the place.
169
00:08:27,221 --> 00:08:29,180
Huh? Did you hear that, officer?
170
00:08:29,861 --> 00:08:30,740
[boys] Bollocks.
171
00:08:33,621 --> 00:08:34,700
Arseholes.
172
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:41,940
[indistinct chatter on television]
173
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:42,980
[Frank moaning]
174
00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:45,980
-[moans] She's out.
-[Karen moans] Come here, you.
175
00:08:46,061 --> 00:08:46,980
[Frank moans]
176
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:53,021
[both moaning]
177
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,821
Stop it.
178
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,701
-[moans]
-[doorbell rings]
179
00:08:57,941 --> 00:08:59,781
[Lip] All you have to do
is tip up and smile.
180
00:09:00,141 --> 00:09:02,181
You'll be in the Jockey by ten
and I'm sweet for sixth form.
181
00:09:02,581 --> 00:09:04,421
-[can opens]
-It'll take two hours tops.
182
00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:07,821
Oh, two hours of bloody boffins
carrying on with each other.
183
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:11,901
Looking down their noses,
you know, with their BA honours.
184
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:15,021
-BA, bloody arrogant.
-All you have to do
185
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,261
-is sit there.
-And if communism's so great
186
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:20,340
how come they've all got
their own jars of coffee,
187
00:09:20,421 --> 00:09:21,941
with their names on?
188
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:24,381
Text off Yaz, Heaton Park
have got the go ahead.
189
00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:25,701
-[Frank] Fantastic
-[Lip] Brilliant.
190
00:09:25,781 --> 00:09:29,021
The Coral, the Stands, the Bandits.
A couple of shite bands an' all.
191
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,340
But how brilliant's that line up?
192
00:09:30,421 --> 00:09:31,661
-When is it?
-Yeah.
193
00:09:31,741 --> 00:09:34,181
A week Sunday,
but it'll be well sold out by then.
194
00:09:34,261 --> 00:09:36,901
Ah, well, you know,
if you wanna keep music live.
195
00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:39,181
Yeah, and they'll be able to
at 40 quid a ticket.
196
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:42,621
[laughing] Oh, I'm burning
flint, love. If I had it--
197
00:09:42,701 --> 00:09:44,021
You could have come with us.
198
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,261
-[Frank laughs nervously]
-You're joking, aren't you?
199
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,381
Do I look the gooseberry type?
[laughs]
200
00:09:49,901 --> 00:09:53,061
-Oh, you don't want me there.
-Why not? It'd be fun?
201
00:09:53,141 --> 00:09:55,220
If he's going anywhere,
it's parents evening, eh, Dad?
202
00:09:55,301 --> 00:09:58,901
I... am going...
203
00:09:59,581 --> 00:10:02,261
nowhere with nobody.
204
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:06,061
Right?
205
00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:07,781
Got that?
206
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,181
-[door opens]
-[music playing]
207
00:10:09,261 --> 00:10:11,021
'Ere, give us a hand
with these, will you?
208
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,661
-What's in it for me?
-Blow job.
209
00:10:14,741 --> 00:10:15,980
[phone ringing]
210
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,100
Hiya, Mam. Everything all right?
211
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:21,181
[Umi] Bend your knees
when you're lifting boxes.
212
00:10:21,261 --> 00:10:22,501
That's how you do your back in.
213
00:10:23,541 --> 00:10:24,941
Oh, and tell Ian to stop picking.
214
00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:27,061
He's always picking,
he'll get pock marks.
215
00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:29,941
Hm. Higher.
216
00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:32,980
Getting warmer. [giggles]
217
00:10:33,061 --> 00:10:34,501
Say, "Red Leicester."
218
00:10:34,581 --> 00:10:39,061
[giggles] Oh. No wave for your
poor old mum, eh?
219
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,460
[laughs]
220
00:10:48,901 --> 00:10:51,181
-That was my idea.
-Jesus.
221
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,821
Already saved two pound forty-eight
in stolen goods.
222
00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:57,141
What?
223
00:10:58,141 --> 00:10:59,661
-How many cameras?
-Two.
224
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:01,781
-What, covering the whole floor?
-Yeah.
225
00:11:02,781 --> 00:11:04,661
-[sighs]
-Oh, shit.
226
00:11:06,701 --> 00:11:07,781
We've still got the stock room.
227
00:11:09,141 --> 00:11:10,740
-Look, Kash, honestly I--
-Hands off.
228
00:11:10,821 --> 00:11:12,581
Eye in the sky, remember?
229
00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:15,141
So, keep your hands off
the married Paki.
230
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,781
[man on radio] ...fifty-eight, expected
100 miles north of Cape Finisterre.
231
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,181
Nine hundred and sixty-eight
by 0600 Monday.
232
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:27,261
-The area forecast...
-Shall we have the light off?
233
00:11:28,901 --> 00:11:32,100
Viking. North Utsire.
South Utsire.
234
00:11:32,661 --> 00:11:34,021
Forties. Cromarty.
235
00:11:36,621 --> 00:11:39,980
All those places...
Rockall, Malin...
236
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,501
Hebrides, Bailey...
237
00:11:43,541 --> 00:11:44,381
Frank?
238
00:11:45,141 --> 00:11:46,021
Yes, love.
239
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:48,181
When I'm cured, will you
take me to Malin Head?
240
00:11:48,581 --> 00:11:50,621
Anywhere you want, princess.
241
00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:52,460
Where is it?
242
00:11:53,141 --> 00:11:56,061
The Emerald Isle,
eight miles north of Malin.
243
00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:57,701
[Frank] Any time you like.
244
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,860
It's the most northerly part
of the mainland.
245
00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,061
Smashing.
246
00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:07,541
Frank, I'd love us to go.
247
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,941
-Then go we shall.
-Me, you, Karen.
248
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,261
-She could share the driving.
-Yeah.
249
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:20,141
That's the beauty of CCTV,
250
00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:22,340
-shoplifters, shirt lifters.
-I'm such a tool.
251
00:12:22,421 --> 00:12:23,740
I didn't even think about it though.
252
00:12:23,821 --> 00:12:25,381
Save on groceries, save on condoms.
253
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:26,821
Hey, do you get staff discount?
254
00:12:26,901 --> 00:12:28,701
You think you're so funny.
Believe me, you're not.
255
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:29,821
-Just asking.
-You're a muppet.
256
00:12:32,421 --> 00:12:34,100
[Frank] The thing is, Sheila, it's like...
257
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,740
I'm allergic to school.
258
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:40,340
I mean, we all have our little phobias,
and school's mine.
259
00:12:40,661 --> 00:12:42,460
I just hoped that you might do it
for Karen.
260
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,701
Look, it's not like these things
are all about the kiddies, is it?
261
00:12:48,181 --> 00:12:50,421
You know, these days
it's all league tables
262
00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:53,141
and PR, spin and PR.
263
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:55,301
I could really do with someone
to hold my hand.
264
00:12:55,381 --> 00:12:57,620
[Sheila] Hear that?
You've been like a father
265
00:12:57,701 --> 00:12:59,301
to her for the last few weeks, Frank.
266
00:12:59,381 --> 00:13:01,220
I think you've earnt the right
to along tonight.
267
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,340
In loco parentis...
268
00:13:04,181 --> 00:13:06,261
-for me and Eddie.
-Look,
269
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:10,821
I've just told me own kids
to go swivel. For God's sake!
270
00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:13,381
[Sheila] If I could go myself...
271
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,661
You do know that, don't you, love?
272
00:13:21,141 --> 00:13:22,541
Jesus wept.
273
00:13:23,061 --> 00:13:25,141
You are so coming tonight, Frank.
274
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:28,021
We've got a pass out
for a couple of hours
275
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,381
and there's no way
you're letting me down.
276
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:32,261
-I'd be gutted...
-[groans]
277
00:13:33,141 --> 00:13:34,980
...and me mam's bound to notice.
278
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,541
-[Frank groans]
-She's got this knack...
279
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:40,301
Always getting the truth out of me.
280
00:13:46,661 --> 00:13:48,901
And we wouldn't want that,
now, would we?
281
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,821
-[dog barking]
-[kids chattering indistinctly]
282
00:13:54,061 --> 00:13:55,661
[kids giggling]
283
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:04,541
[Kash] Yeah. Just a bit--
a little bit b-- Yeah, there.
284
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,541
Yeah. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Try that.
285
00:14:09,781 --> 00:14:11,381
[Ian laughs over phone] Check this.
286
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:15,901
-Can you see shag valley?
-[Kash laughing]
287
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,661
-[Ian] Get down here now.
-[Kash chuckles]
288
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:20,821
We are home and dry.
289
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,421
[both panting, moaning]
290
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:52,061
And where did you two spring from?
291
00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:54,860
Oh, come on. We're gonna be late.
292
00:14:55,581 --> 00:14:56,980
[sighs] Right.
293
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,181
-[Frank sighs]
-Oh, Frank.
294
00:15:05,261 --> 00:15:07,860
In loco bleeding parentis.
295
00:15:08,381 --> 00:15:09,460
-[chuckles]
-[knocking at door]
296
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:12,021
[Frank mutters]
297
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,301
-Hiya, Megan.
-[Megan chuckles]
298
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,661
Hiya. Here for your session
with agoraphobic Annie?
299
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:19,141
-[laughs]
-Hello, Frank. Hi, love.
300
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:21,141
-You ready for the off, then?
-Raring to go.
301
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,821
Right, and don't let her spend too much.
302
00:15:22,901 --> 00:15:24,100
-[chuckles]
-[Karen] Come on, Frank.
303
00:15:24,181 --> 00:15:25,220
Good luck.
304
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,421
Parents evening.
305
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,701
Right then, time for a little
retail therapy.
306
00:15:30,061 --> 00:15:31,860
[indistinct chatter]
307
00:15:39,860 --> 00:15:41,220
-Frank, you need to sign in.
-[Frank] Huh?
308
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,500
Oh, righty ho.
309
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:51,661
-Did you know about this?
-[sighs]
310
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:54,661
[Lip] What's he doing here?
311
00:15:58,301 --> 00:16:00,740
-What have you brought him for?
-What the hell are you doing here?
312
00:16:00,821 --> 00:16:03,901
I'm here for Karen. Loco parentis.
313
00:16:04,301 --> 00:16:06,301
-Et tu, Brute?
-[Fiona] No offence, Karen,
314
00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:09,340
but we said you were in the hospital.
That's why you couldn't come.
315
00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:12,141
That's a fucking horrible thing to say.
316
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:14,380
Hey, don't go tempting fate, you!
317
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,061
Hospital? With what?
318
00:16:17,261 --> 00:16:19,220
Liver dysfunction.
We knew they'd buy that.
319
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:22,421
No, look, hang on.
They don't know him anyway.
320
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:23,941
Unless he's been when you were here.
321
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,460
[Fiona] He never came for me.
322
00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:28,220
[Lip] Right, and he's never been while
me and Ian have been here, has he?
323
00:16:28,701 --> 00:16:32,181
Hey, I'm all she's got
'cause her dad fucked...
324
00:16:32,261 --> 00:16:33,181
Remember?
325
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,220
God, that's what gets me about you lot,
you know.
326
00:16:35,301 --> 00:16:38,061
Generosity, one way traffic.
Me, me, me.
327
00:16:38,141 --> 00:16:39,781
The show is on the road.
328
00:16:40,261 --> 00:16:42,220
Point us at the first one,
sweetheart.
329
00:16:42,821 --> 00:16:43,941
Um, chemistry's free.
330
00:16:46,781 --> 00:16:48,100
I'm sorry, am I--
331
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,661
-Am I early or late? Eh?
-[sighs]
332
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,100
[machine beeping]
333
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:56,860
[electronic buzzing]
334
00:16:56,941 --> 00:16:59,901
Oh! [laughs]
Dickie wheel on the trolley.
335
00:17:00,141 --> 00:17:02,141
Swap it for a new one,
they're by the doors.
336
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,141
No, I...
337
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:05,140
This one's fine, thanks. [chuckles]
338
00:17:05,541 --> 00:17:06,860
I'll be right beside you.
339
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,461
-[Sheila breathes heavily]
-[machine beeping]
340
00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:15,140
I can't. [chuckles]
341
00:17:15,821 --> 00:17:17,021
-[Megan] Sure?
-No, sorry. I can't.
342
00:17:17,301 --> 00:17:20,061
Okay, tell you what, why don't we start
in the drinks aisle?
343
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,581
Oh, a drink. Yes, please.
344
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:24,021
Oh.
345
00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:25,660
Oh.
346
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:29,301
-[machine beeping]
-[Sheila] Oh.
347
00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:33,381
Fiona, with all respect this is a parent's
evening and you're a sibling, hmm?
348
00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:35,061
I'm a guardian while Dad's in hospital.
349
00:17:35,341 --> 00:17:37,741
Look, I've made the rule,
I'll have to stick to it.
350
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,821
Home visit. [clears throat] Home.
351
00:17:40,301 --> 00:17:41,541
[stammers] What if Dad doesn't get out?
352
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,341
That is a possibility.
353
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:44,861
Oh, we're a doctor now, Phillip?
354
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,061
-[chuckles]
-No.
355
00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:48,861
But he is.
356
00:17:53,741 --> 00:17:56,420
Steven McBride, I'm Fiona's husband...
357
00:17:57,221 --> 00:17:58,101
to be.
358
00:17:58,501 --> 00:18:01,381
Mr Hammersley, I don't get it.
If Lip-- Phillip
359
00:18:01,461 --> 00:18:03,781
wants to sit history
and he's good at history,
360
00:18:03,861 --> 00:18:05,701
then what's to gain from stopping him?
361
00:18:06,221 --> 00:18:08,660
Seriously, higher grades all round
362
00:18:08,741 --> 00:18:11,141
and a much more pleasant
teaching experience.
363
00:18:11,221 --> 00:18:13,141
-What did he get in his mocks?
-[Hammersley] He was lucky.
364
00:18:13,981 --> 00:18:15,940
-Above average.
-Ninety-two percent.
365
00:18:16,021 --> 00:18:18,541
Fine. But while his grades spiral,
the others all plummet.
366
00:18:18,621 --> 00:18:19,461
[bangs desk]
367
00:18:20,021 --> 00:18:21,381
-He's disruptive.
-No, I'm not.
368
00:18:21,461 --> 00:18:22,581
-He's contradictory.
-No, I'm not!
369
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:23,861
-You see.
-Shut up, Lip.
370
00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:26,900
[Steve] If I could-- If I could just have
five minutes alone with Mr Hammersley.
371
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,821
If things are being said,
I want to hear it.
372
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:29,741
Fiona.
373
00:18:31,461 --> 00:18:32,420
Come on, Lip.
374
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,541
[Hammersley exhales]
375
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:39,021
Look, I know what he's like
and I know what you're thinking.
376
00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:40,940
Mm-mm. No, you don't. [chuckles]
377
00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:42,501
Smart arsed little fucker.
378
00:18:43,341 --> 00:18:45,660
[chuckles] Much, much worse than that.
379
00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:46,781
[both chuckling]
380
00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:49,180
Look, um, do you smoke?
381
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:51,061
[inhales]
382
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,021
[exhales]
383
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,700
[Steve] How long you got left in the job?
384
00:18:58,101 --> 00:19:02,180
-[door creaks]
-Seventy-two and a half weeks.
385
00:19:04,861 --> 00:19:06,101
Phillip's a keen lad.
386
00:19:06,861 --> 00:19:08,221
I mean, he wants to be an architect.
387
00:19:08,301 --> 00:19:09,420
[Hammersley] He's a twat.
388
00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:13,061
Well, they all are. Kids, staff, parents.
389
00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:15,141
-No offence.
-Ah, none taken.
390
00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:18,101
[inhales sharply]
You not having one?
391
00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:21,021
No, I try not to use that stuff
when I'm-- When I'm working.
392
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,141
Jesus Christ.
393
00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:28,900
[Frank] It was massive, you know,
this thing.
394
00:19:28,981 --> 00:19:31,261
See, I know for a fact that PB is lead,
395
00:19:31,581 --> 00:19:33,461
T is tin, Z is zinc.
396
00:19:33,541 --> 00:19:36,541
You know, you had to know all that
to work at Hanson's steel yard, see.
397
00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:38,940
Now, I worked there
'til it shut down, but--
398
00:19:39,141 --> 00:19:41,061
Well, no,
uh, I left a bit before that.
399
00:19:41,141 --> 00:19:43,981
But you had to be shit hot
at chemistry, you know.
400
00:19:44,581 --> 00:19:48,101
Yeah. Never a truer word said,
"If you can read this
401
00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:49,700
-tell the teacher."
-"Thank your teacher."
402
00:19:49,781 --> 00:19:50,821
Thank your teacher.
403
00:19:52,261 --> 00:19:54,301
-[Megan] A lottery ticket?
-[Sheila] Not today, thank you.
404
00:19:54,981 --> 00:19:58,821
-Packet of fags for Frank?
-No, um, I'd rather pay. [chuckles]
405
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,501
[Megan] Where's your sense of adventure,
Sheila? Come on, let's give it a try.
406
00:20:01,741 --> 00:20:02,621
Here we go.
407
00:20:03,741 --> 00:20:05,341
Past the fruit and veg...
408
00:20:06,381 --> 00:20:09,180
-Past the carnations--
-It's too near the doors.
409
00:20:09,261 --> 00:20:10,700
-[sobbing]
-You're doing great, Sheila.
410
00:20:11,061 --> 00:20:13,341
[Sheila sobbing]
It's too near the doors.
411
00:20:13,541 --> 00:20:16,141
[Megan] You're fine, look.
We're here already, sweets and tobacco.
412
00:20:16,221 --> 00:20:18,341
No, it's too near. [sobbing]
413
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:20,541
[Megan] Just the one ticket, or should
we go and get a scratch card--
414
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:21,940
[Sheila sobbing]
415
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,101
-The doors.
-[Megan] Never mind.
416
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,741
I told you it's too near the doors.
417
00:20:27,741 --> 00:20:32,180
Year zero, Gallagher.
Clean sheet, no pun intended.
418
00:20:32,261 --> 00:20:33,461
[laughs]
419
00:20:35,861 --> 00:20:37,501
You mean he can do it?
He can do history?
420
00:20:37,581 --> 00:20:38,861
He can do what he wants. [laughs]
421
00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:41,221
What, and you won't shaft me
with the course work?
422
00:20:41,301 --> 00:20:46,101
Me? Guess again, Tin Tin.
[laughs]
423
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:50,501
[Hammersley continues laughing]
424
00:20:58,741 --> 00:21:01,221
-What's Steve said to him?
-How should I know?
425
00:21:03,101 --> 00:21:04,261
What's all that about?
426
00:21:06,461 --> 00:21:09,381
To gain strength, you sometimes
have to demonstrate weakness.
427
00:21:09,461 --> 00:21:11,261
[laughs] What are you on about?
428
00:21:11,341 --> 00:21:13,381
I told him he still wets the bed.
Cheered him up no end,
429
00:21:13,461 --> 00:21:15,301
he thinks he's got something
on you now. [sniffs]
430
00:21:15,381 --> 00:21:17,741
-Where's the bogs by the way?
-Down there, second right.
431
00:21:18,141 --> 00:21:21,180
-[laughs]
-Is he serious?
432
00:21:21,461 --> 00:21:22,741
Pissing the bed at my age.
433
00:21:23,261 --> 00:21:24,420
Aw.
434
00:21:24,501 --> 00:21:26,341
-[stutters] Get off.
-People do.
435
00:21:26,981 --> 00:21:28,021
[hisses]
436
00:21:30,381 --> 00:21:31,981
[thumping]
437
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,341
[muffled giggling]
438
00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:51,660
[moaning]
439
00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:55,541
[Karen moaning]
440
00:22:02,381 --> 00:22:04,301
[pants, groans]
441
00:22:05,221 --> 00:22:07,381
-Hey, we can't--
-[Karen] Oh, we can.
442
00:22:10,101 --> 00:22:11,900
-Are you serious?
-Toilets are blocked, mate.
443
00:22:11,981 --> 00:22:13,141
All right? Come on.
444
00:22:13,221 --> 00:22:14,900
[stutters] Hammersley's going
to tell everyone.
445
00:22:14,981 --> 00:22:16,700
I mean, literally take the piss out of me.
446
00:22:16,781 --> 00:22:18,301
Do you know what, Lip,
that's the only fact of life
447
00:22:18,381 --> 00:22:21,141
we really need to get used to,
that people can and will.
448
00:22:30,101 --> 00:22:32,061
-Here you are, Stevo.
-Cheers. Kev. Thanks.
449
00:22:32,141 --> 00:22:33,180
A pint, Kev.
450
00:22:33,621 --> 00:22:35,460
Franky, you're getting later
and later.
451
00:22:35,981 --> 00:22:37,221
Must be all those home comforts.
452
00:22:37,301 --> 00:22:38,141
[Frank] All right.
453
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:41,341
No, Karen's had him up the school.
454
00:22:42,581 --> 00:22:44,541
And a packet of dry-roasted, Kev.
455
00:22:44,981 --> 00:22:47,981
-[Kev] He smells better as well.
-[Frank] Sticks and stones.
456
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,101
How did you get on with
the teachers, Frank?
457
00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:54,101
Total waste of time.
Bits of kids teaching bits of kids.
458
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:56,501
Yeah. How long you been
fucking Karen for?
459
00:22:58,021 --> 00:22:59,061
Eh?
460
00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:02,021
Sorry, mate, my mum's always
telling me off about mumbling.
461
00:23:02,101 --> 00:23:03,981
I said, "How long have you been
fucking Karen for?"
462
00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:07,861
I don't know
what you're bloody talking about.
463
00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:09,900
[Steve] In the toilets.
464
00:23:11,621 --> 00:23:13,541
Your son's girlfriend, Frank...
465
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:15,821
your girlfriend's daughter.
466
00:23:16,301 --> 00:23:19,381
[scoffs] You're one twisted
little shit, you know that?
467
00:23:20,781 --> 00:23:23,221
You call time on it, Frank,
or I'll blow the whistle.
468
00:23:28,301 --> 00:23:30,021
-What's that about?
-Kev, I'll have another.
469
00:23:30,420 --> 00:23:31,900
[belches]
A whisky chaser.
470
00:23:33,981 --> 00:23:34,981
[belches]
471
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:38,501
[Sheila panting] I don't know.
472
00:23:38,981 --> 00:23:40,180
Two baths in one night.
473
00:23:40,261 --> 00:23:42,821
[Frank] Oh, schools stink worse
than hospitals.
474
00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:43,981
What about pubs?
475
00:23:48,021 --> 00:23:48,981
Tell me again, love.
476
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:52,141
[groans] Oh, God.
How many more times?
477
00:23:52,221 --> 00:23:53,061
Please.
478
00:23:54,301 --> 00:23:56,821
-If I could have gone myself.
-All right. He said...
479
00:23:57,301 --> 00:24:00,940
she was developing
into a very poised young woman.
480
00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:04,460
-"Very poised."
-Yeah.
481
00:24:05,101 --> 00:24:06,180
Quite the young lady.
482
00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:09,460
Yeah, she's a woman, all right.
483
00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:12,221
The way they grow up these days.
484
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:14,900
-Harder!
-[groans]
485
00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:17,581
[Sheila] She'll always be a baby to me.
486
00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:22,581
[sobbing] My shopping
didn't go very well.
487
00:24:24,180 --> 00:24:25,221
What, forgot the milk?
488
00:24:28,180 --> 00:24:31,261
I can't even get out the doors
of a pretend supermarket.
489
00:24:33,021 --> 00:24:35,061
How am I ever going to get
to Malin Head?
490
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:36,700
Hey, hey. Come on, come on.
491
00:24:37,541 --> 00:24:40,621
We are going to Malin Head. Eh?
492
00:24:41,261 --> 00:24:42,381
End of story.
493
00:24:43,981 --> 00:24:47,900
[sobs] Life's going on all
around me, Frank,
494
00:24:47,981 --> 00:24:49,301
and I'm missing out.
495
00:24:50,341 --> 00:24:52,460
[sighs] Hey, come on.
Hey. [shushes]
496
00:24:53,301 --> 00:24:56,460
You'll get through those doors
any day now.
497
00:24:57,101 --> 00:24:58,021
Hmm.
498
00:24:59,021 --> 00:25:01,021
And you'll never look back.
499
00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:02,741
[Sheila sighs]
500
00:25:07,501 --> 00:25:09,381
[Lip] If I could get my hands
on tickets for Heaton Park,
501
00:25:09,460 --> 00:25:10,741
Karen would be well impressed.
502
00:25:13,501 --> 00:25:15,101
I don't suppose there's any
chance you could lend us
503
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,220
-eighty of your pink pounds?
-[Debbie screams]
504
00:25:19,741 --> 00:25:22,460
-[Debbie screams]
-For God's sake, Debs, give it a rest.
505
00:25:22,541 --> 00:25:23,460
-[Debbie] It's massive!
506
00:25:23,541 --> 00:25:25,660
-Like I can magic eighty...
-[Debbie screams]
507
00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:27,301
-...quid.
-You could always liberate it
508
00:25:27,381 --> 00:25:29,261
from that till.
509
00:25:29,341 --> 00:25:30,420
He scores! [laughs]
510
00:25:30,501 --> 00:25:33,180
-[Ian] Good shot, man.
-[both laughing]
511
00:25:33,261 --> 00:25:34,141
Job done, Debs.
512
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,621
Right, Debs, your starter for ten.
513
00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:39,940
Which member of Atomic Kitten
is currently sporting a face full of moth?
514
00:25:40,021 --> 00:25:41,061
Not Liz.
515
00:25:42,581 --> 00:25:45,541
-Ah, Jenny.
-Hey, hey. [chuckles]
516
00:25:46,220 --> 00:25:47,621
I've got eighty quid.
517
00:25:50,101 --> 00:25:52,141
[Lip] Listen, I'll pay you back.
518
00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:53,541
I'm not bothered.
519
00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:55,581
[Lip] I'm gonna take Karen to a festival.
520
00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:56,940
I'll be well in t' good books for this.
521
00:25:57,021 --> 00:26:00,061
Do you need extra, for spends,
drinks, snacks etc?
522
00:26:00,141 --> 00:26:01,381
No, I've got enough for that.
523
00:26:02,621 --> 00:26:03,501
[chuckles]
524
00:26:07,501 --> 00:26:08,460
Look, Debs...
525
00:26:10,021 --> 00:26:13,301
I do think you're a bit weird
sometimes, but good weird.
526
00:26:14,021 --> 00:26:15,861
-All right?
-Whatever.
527
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,861
-Has she taken a sleeping pill?
-No.
528
00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:26,460
-[Karen] Who's a bold boy?
-Right, listen, babe,
529
00:26:26,541 --> 00:26:29,781
there's no easy way to say this.
It's my lad.
530
00:26:29,861 --> 00:26:32,621
-Mm, what about him?
-Look-- Look, something's
531
00:26:33,021 --> 00:26:36,341
gotta give here, and as usual
it's yours friggin' truly.
532
00:26:36,420 --> 00:26:39,900
I can't do it to the lad.
I mean, me and you...
533
00:26:41,301 --> 00:26:43,501
-that's it.
-[stutters] Are you dumping me?
534
00:26:43,581 --> 00:26:44,420
No way.
535
00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:47,981
Hey, driving lessons, I'm there.
536
00:26:48,781 --> 00:26:52,741
You know, help with your studies,
fix your hi-fi, I'm there, just no more--
537
00:26:52,821 --> 00:26:55,261
-You know, the other.
-You can't do this.
538
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:56,821
[sighs]
539
00:26:57,981 --> 00:27:01,940
A man has gotta look
his son in the eye, hasn't he?
540
00:27:02,141 --> 00:27:06,381
I mean, I held him the day
after he was born.
541
00:27:08,021 --> 00:27:11,861
[stutters] I-- I held him...
and everything.
542
00:27:14,101 --> 00:27:15,381
Fucking massive.
543
00:27:18,781 --> 00:27:19,621
All right.
544
00:27:20,261 --> 00:27:21,420
[door opens]
545
00:27:23,261 --> 00:27:24,141
[door closes]
546
00:27:26,141 --> 00:27:30,180
[sirens blaring in distance]
547
00:27:33,101 --> 00:27:34,501
-[Yvonne] See you later.
-[woman] See you.
548
00:27:34,581 --> 00:27:35,781
[Yvonne] Goodnight.
549
00:27:35,861 --> 00:27:37,420
Can't half rabbit, my mam.
550
00:27:37,501 --> 00:27:39,141
Still, you've fixed her shower,
551
00:27:39,821 --> 00:27:41,581
and your halo's never been brighter.
552
00:27:42,700 --> 00:27:45,420
-You've got to see this.
-[footsteps approaching]
553
00:27:47,180 --> 00:27:49,101
-Let's just go, hey?
-Wait a minute.
554
00:27:49,861 --> 00:27:50,861
It's a killer.
555
00:27:52,101 --> 00:27:53,621
-It's a Houdini jobbie.
-Yeah?
556
00:27:54,621 --> 00:27:56,940
Right. There's Ian, see...
557
00:27:57,861 --> 00:27:59,061
disappears by the veg...
558
00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:02,061
and there's my husband...
559
00:28:02,940 --> 00:28:04,261
and what do you know...
560
00:28:05,581 --> 00:28:07,741
disappears into the same
Bermuda triangle.
561
00:28:08,141 --> 00:28:11,700
-Yvonne.
-Oh! But the grand finale...
562
00:28:14,101 --> 00:28:14,940
Here we go.
563
00:28:16,180 --> 00:28:17,141
Wait for it.
564
00:28:18,420 --> 00:28:20,061
Four and a half minutes later...
565
00:28:21,301 --> 00:28:22,141
there's Ian...
566
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:25,101
and there's the father
of my children...
567
00:28:25,940 --> 00:28:29,741
with his shirt hanging out
the back of his trousers.
568
00:28:30,781 --> 00:28:33,660
-[Kash] Jesus.
-[Yvonne] The original lifted shirt.
569
00:28:33,741 --> 00:28:35,420
-[Kash] Yvonne.
-Keys?
570
00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:40,501
And the car keys.
571
00:28:44,341 --> 00:28:47,501
-[rock music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]
572
00:28:47,581 --> 00:28:48,581
[music continues]
573
00:28:53,180 --> 00:28:57,101
Karen? Karen, I'll leave
your cuppa by the door, okay?
574
00:29:07,541 --> 00:29:08,940
Do you think she's angry with me?
575
00:29:09,301 --> 00:29:10,341
Projecting?
576
00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:12,821
I read it in my Dear Julie column.
577
00:29:13,021 --> 00:29:14,381
[Frank] Dear Julie?
578
00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:16,101
She knows the square root
of fuck all, that one.
579
00:29:17,821 --> 00:29:20,420
Maybe I clip her wings
in ways I didn't even realise.
580
00:29:20,501 --> 00:29:22,021
Would you like me to have
a word with her?
581
00:29:22,101 --> 00:29:23,781
Oh, if you've got time
582
00:29:23,861 --> 00:29:26,940
-that would be wonder--
-Oh, the kid will love that, Sheil. Eh?
583
00:29:27,021 --> 00:29:28,781
There she is, having a lie in,
584
00:29:28,861 --> 00:29:30,821
you know, happy as Larry.
Next thing she knows,
585
00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:32,821
Nurse Looney Tunes is sat
on the end of her bed
586
00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:34,301
giving it a load of cobblers.
587
00:29:36,261 --> 00:29:38,381
-No offence, like.
-[footsteps approaching]
588
00:29:39,301 --> 00:29:40,141
[door opening]
589
00:29:41,261 --> 00:29:42,101
[door slamming]
590
00:29:42,940 --> 00:29:43,781
[inhales]
591
00:29:45,621 --> 00:29:48,821
It's not hereditary, Frank.
I'm not catching.
592
00:29:48,900 --> 00:29:51,061
[Sheila breathes heavily]
593
00:29:51,501 --> 00:29:55,061
[imitates trumpet]
594
00:29:59,501 --> 00:30:01,460
-Francisco!
-Cut the chit chat,
595
00:30:01,541 --> 00:30:02,940
give us a large whisky.
596
00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:06,741
[footsteps approaching]
597
00:30:07,141 --> 00:30:09,180
-What have you said to the kids?
-Oh, you know,
598
00:30:09,821 --> 00:30:11,581
Daddy's going to hell in a hand cart.
599
00:30:12,141 --> 00:30:13,821
Daddy likes hot cock.
600
00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:16,741
Like I'm gonna tell the kids.
601
00:30:17,700 --> 00:30:20,021
-What about me mam?
-[sighs]
602
00:30:20,821 --> 00:30:22,101
You bastard.
603
00:30:23,741 --> 00:30:24,741
What about me?
604
00:30:26,021 --> 00:30:27,061
-[sniffles]
-I'm sorry.
605
00:30:28,420 --> 00:30:29,460
New house rules.
606
00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:33,261
-We shag until I get pregnant.
-What?
607
00:30:33,741 --> 00:30:35,581
-I want another baby.
-Yvonne!
608
00:30:36,821 --> 00:30:38,781
From now on, you're kipping up there.
609
00:30:39,261 --> 00:30:40,660
You can only come home to visit the kids
610
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:43,180
and once I'm pregnant,
you can shag who you like,
611
00:30:43,261 --> 00:30:45,301
front or back. But not here.
612
00:30:45,861 --> 00:30:47,501
And only after I'm up the duff.
613
00:30:48,541 --> 00:30:49,501
And what about him?
614
00:31:04,141 --> 00:31:05,420
There's summat you should know.
615
00:31:05,501 --> 00:31:06,781
[Lip] Uh-uh. Me first.
616
00:31:11,940 --> 00:31:13,621
Ta-da! [chuckles]
617
00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:15,261
Oh, my God.
618
00:31:16,141 --> 00:31:19,141
Heaton Park. [stutters]
But these cost a fortune.
619
00:31:19,220 --> 00:31:21,741
I had to flog one of my kidneys.
I'll be fine.
620
00:31:23,861 --> 00:31:24,700
You're mad.
621
00:31:27,141 --> 00:31:28,141
I love you, you clown.
622
00:31:29,700 --> 00:31:32,821
[groans, moans]
623
00:31:35,501 --> 00:31:38,621
-[Lip pants, groans]
-[Karen moans]
624
00:31:44,061 --> 00:31:45,101
[door unlocks]
625
00:31:46,420 --> 00:31:47,301
[door opens]
626
00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:51,541
Do you want to watch a vid?
I'll boot the kids out.
627
00:31:51,621 --> 00:31:53,061
[Karen] No, look.
628
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:55,420
There's no easy way to say this...
629
00:31:57,061 --> 00:31:58,501
I think we should stop seeing
each other.
630
00:31:58,581 --> 00:32:00,180
[laughs] What? 'Cause the sex is crap?
631
00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:02,900
I just think it would be better
if we were mates.
632
00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:06,621
If it's because I said--
Look, I don't love you, love you--
633
00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:07,541
-It's not that.
634
00:32:08,141 --> 00:32:10,541
[Lip sighs] What was all that about?
635
00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:13,541
Payback for the fucking tickets?
636
00:32:14,460 --> 00:32:15,861
An eighty quid special!
637
00:32:17,581 --> 00:32:18,501
Great.
638
00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:24,301
Look, you don't have to dump me,
I don't love you, honest.
639
00:32:24,381 --> 00:32:26,821
-I'm sorry.
-Please, don't do this.
640
00:32:27,541 --> 00:32:29,301
Look, I don't love you.
641
00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:32,501
Is there somebody else?
642
00:32:33,541 --> 00:32:34,541
[sighs]
643
00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:40,381
-[Fiona] What are you doing up here?
-I'm gone.
644
00:32:42,101 --> 00:32:44,621
[sobs]
645
00:32:45,180 --> 00:32:46,021
Lip?
646
00:32:47,781 --> 00:32:49,261
[sobs]
647
00:32:49,781 --> 00:32:51,781
[stutters] Please, don't say owt.
648
00:32:53,341 --> 00:32:54,180
[sobs]
649
00:32:55,781 --> 00:32:56,940
Oh, Lip.
650
00:33:00,141 --> 00:33:01,180
Come on, sweetheart.
651
00:33:02,501 --> 00:33:07,301
-Let's leave him alone.
-[sobs]
652
00:33:17,940 --> 00:33:19,541
[Ian] Who do you reckon it is then, Lip?
653
00:33:21,341 --> 00:33:22,341
I'll twat him for you.
654
00:33:23,301 --> 00:33:25,061
She took both tickets.
655
00:33:26,220 --> 00:33:27,061
Nice.
656
00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:30,301
Blew you off then blew you out.
657
00:33:30,381 --> 00:33:32,980
[both laughing]
658
00:33:33,061 --> 00:33:35,341
You're about this funny.
659
00:33:35,621 --> 00:33:36,821
[both laughing]
660
00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:38,180
So, why are you laughing?
661
00:33:39,261 --> 00:33:42,781
Because I'm eighty quid down
and my girlfriend's dumped me!
662
00:34:01,420 --> 00:34:03,740
-Heaton Park, any takers?
-No chance.
663
00:34:04,061 --> 00:34:05,021
She'd never know.
664
00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:07,220
I thought Lip was going with you.
665
00:34:08,061 --> 00:34:09,061
Lip's history.
666
00:34:10,180 --> 00:34:11,660
-Go on, you...
-No.
667
00:34:12,141 --> 00:34:14,421
-...me.
-[both breathing heavily]
668
00:34:14,501 --> 00:34:16,501
A whole day away from this place.
669
00:34:16,581 --> 00:34:18,541
Okay, you and me are finito, kid.
670
00:34:19,941 --> 00:34:20,981
All right? Comprende?
671
00:34:22,461 --> 00:34:24,660
Well and truly finito.
672
00:34:36,901 --> 00:34:38,381
[door opens]
673
00:34:51,541 --> 00:34:52,981
Get yourself an E or something.
674
00:34:59,621 --> 00:35:01,501
-Ta-ra.
-[door closes]
675
00:35:07,221 --> 00:35:08,421
[Liam talking indistinctly]
676
00:35:08,860 --> 00:35:11,901
-State of you.
-You're too kind.
677
00:35:13,981 --> 00:35:16,101
[groans]
678
00:35:19,261 --> 00:35:20,101
Hmm.
679
00:35:21,461 --> 00:35:23,661
Am I allowed to say
you're worth ten of her?
680
00:35:23,860 --> 00:35:26,461
[woman talking on radio]
681
00:35:26,661 --> 00:35:28,981
All with the tops open,
there's a surprise.
682
00:35:29,061 --> 00:35:31,860
[grunts] I don't know,
what's got into Dad lately.
683
00:35:32,741 --> 00:35:34,300
Driving lessons for Karen,
684
00:35:34,381 --> 00:35:36,261
-parents evening.
-[Liam] Yeah.
685
00:35:36,340 --> 00:35:38,981
More of a dad to her
than he's ever been to any of us.
686
00:35:39,181 --> 00:35:40,701
What's got into your daddy lately?
687
00:35:40,780 --> 00:35:42,461
-[laughs]
-[Liam] I don't know.
688
00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,581
[Fiona] Well, you should
find out for me.
689
00:35:44,981 --> 00:35:47,101
-[Frank laughing]
-[Liam] I don't know.
690
00:35:53,981 --> 00:35:56,141
-How's your love life, Ian?
-What love life?
691
00:35:56,541 --> 00:35:58,981
What, no girlfriend on the scene
keeping you up all night?
692
00:35:59,181 --> 00:36:00,141
In my dreams.
693
00:36:00,340 --> 00:36:05,061
[mouthing]
694
00:36:06,780 --> 00:36:07,741
[Yvonne] She knows.
695
00:36:11,661 --> 00:36:14,141
He's trying to tell you that I know.
696
00:36:17,820 --> 00:36:21,501
The bad news is, you've had your
hands in my husband's boxers.
697
00:36:22,021 --> 00:36:23,381
But it could have been worse.
698
00:36:23,941 --> 00:36:25,221
You could have had them in the till.
699
00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:28,021
I'm not sacked?
700
00:36:28,661 --> 00:36:29,621
Take over here.
701
00:36:30,501 --> 00:36:32,901
Gaylord will fill you in
on the terms and conditions.
702
00:36:38,860 --> 00:36:40,501
-Oh, and, Ian?
-Yeah?
703
00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:42,501
Lose the black hole of Calcutta.
704
00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:45,621
Ian, come here.
705
00:36:47,661 --> 00:36:51,380
Don't ever touch him again.
706
00:36:52,061 --> 00:36:53,901
[indistinct chatter outside]
707
00:37:09,300 --> 00:37:11,141
[dog barking]
708
00:37:19,421 --> 00:37:20,380
My dad, isn't it?
709
00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:23,621
[Karen sobbing]
710
00:37:48,820 --> 00:37:49,661
Hey!
711
00:37:52,741 --> 00:37:54,461
For Christ's sake. [gasps]
712
00:37:56,501 --> 00:37:57,461
You fucked her.
713
00:37:58,021 --> 00:38:00,061
[Frank groaning]
714
00:38:02,261 --> 00:38:03,461
Sounds like Frank.
715
00:38:05,181 --> 00:38:06,021
It's Lip.
716
00:38:06,941 --> 00:38:07,780
Oh, my God.
717
00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:09,221
-[groans]
-[groans]
718
00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:10,380
-You fucked her!
-[groans]
719
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:16,141
[Frank groaning]
Help!
720
00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:17,541
Dial 999, Karen.
721
00:38:18,820 --> 00:38:20,701
-I'm coming, Frank.
-Sheil! [groans]
722
00:38:21,421 --> 00:38:22,461
-Help!
-[Lip grunts]
723
00:38:26,101 --> 00:38:26,941
[sobs]
724
00:38:27,021 --> 00:38:28,380
I'm coming, Frank.
725
00:38:33,181 --> 00:38:34,141
[screams]
726
00:38:35,261 --> 00:38:36,780
Oi, come here.
727
00:38:36,860 --> 00:38:38,141
-Come here. Come on.
-[Frank groaning]
728
00:38:38,701 --> 00:38:40,421
-Come on.
-[Frank groans]
729
00:38:41,221 --> 00:38:42,461
-Get off me! Let me kill him.
-Come here.
730
00:38:42,541 --> 00:38:43,780
-[Frank groans]
-[Lip] He fucked her.
731
00:38:44,061 --> 00:38:46,701
Get off me, I'm going to kill him!
Get off me!
732
00:38:46,941 --> 00:38:49,221
He fucked her
and I want to fuck him. [pants]
733
00:38:50,941 --> 00:38:52,141
Come here. Stop it.
734
00:38:52,221 --> 00:38:53,621
-[pants]
-[Lip] Get off me!
735
00:38:53,701 --> 00:38:54,860
You animal!
736
00:38:55,501 --> 00:38:56,340
Ow!
737
00:38:56,901 --> 00:38:58,340
Look, you are--
738
00:38:58,541 --> 00:39:00,461
He fucked her! [sobs]
739
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,421
-Lip, get yourself up, mate. Come on.
-[Lip] Get off me.
740
00:39:03,501 --> 00:39:05,141
-Lip, come on, get yourself up.
-[Lip] Just get off.
741
00:39:05,221 --> 00:39:06,661
-Come here. Calm down.
-Fuck's sake. Get off.
742
00:39:06,741 --> 00:39:08,300
-Calm down, calm down, mate!
-Get off me!
743
00:39:08,380 --> 00:39:09,340
All right?
744
00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:12,941
[siren blaring in distance]
745
00:39:13,021 --> 00:39:14,780
[whimpers]
746
00:39:15,501 --> 00:39:16,340
[Sheila] Baby.
747
00:39:17,901 --> 00:39:19,581
-[whimpers]
-Why, Frank?
748
00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:21,181
Why would he do this to you?
749
00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:24,661
Because he's a bloody psycho.
750
00:39:25,941 --> 00:39:29,621
I told him straight, nice
and reasonable...
751
00:39:30,780 --> 00:39:34,141
you'll get your twenty quid
when my giro comes.
752
00:39:35,380 --> 00:39:36,380
Next thing I know,
753
00:39:36,941 --> 00:39:38,780
-he's beating me to death.
-[Sheila] What?
754
00:39:39,780 --> 00:39:40,941
All this over money?
755
00:39:41,221 --> 00:39:44,421
Yeah, bloody pin money. [whimpers]
756
00:39:45,181 --> 00:39:47,901
I wish you'd have asked me for it,
I'd give you anything.
757
00:39:47,981 --> 00:39:50,101
No, I don't want to take advantage.
758
00:39:51,380 --> 00:39:53,461
Oh, you're too soft, Frank.
759
00:39:53,541 --> 00:39:54,661
-[Frank chuckles]
-[Sheila] Aw.
760
00:39:56,300 --> 00:39:57,820
-Frank.
-[whimpers]
761
00:39:58,581 --> 00:39:59,701
Oh, baby.
762
00:40:02,221 --> 00:40:03,061
[door slams]
763
00:40:17,780 --> 00:40:18,741
When did you find out?
764
00:40:21,221 --> 00:40:22,061
A few days ago.
765
00:40:24,741 --> 00:40:25,701
Exactly.
766
00:40:28,461 --> 00:40:29,300
Two.
767
00:40:31,501 --> 00:40:32,981
I'm sorry, Lip.
768
00:40:39,541 --> 00:40:40,780
Suppose I could do a ciggie.
769
00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:02,741
Some toast.
770
00:41:05,021 --> 00:41:07,300
-Do you want me--
-Peanut butter, two slices.
771
00:41:07,380 --> 00:41:08,860
Cut up into little triangles
or something?
772
00:41:08,941 --> 00:41:10,221
-Surprise me.
-All right.
773
00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:17,820
-Think I'll have it in my room.
-Yeah.
774
00:41:32,021 --> 00:41:34,300
[exhales deeply]
775
00:41:36,261 --> 00:41:38,141
[clinks]
776
00:41:42,380 --> 00:41:44,261
-[clinks]
-[Frank] Lip?
777
00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:46,141
[sighs]
778
00:41:48,300 --> 00:41:49,701
Open the window, son.
779
00:42:00,541 --> 00:42:05,461
I'm sorry, okay? I'm a twat. I--
No, I am. A prize prick.
780
00:42:06,380 --> 00:42:09,581
Yeah, if your grandad were here,
he'd be saying the same. [chuckles]
781
00:42:12,181 --> 00:42:16,141
It's totally down to me, Lip. I know.
782
00:42:16,221 --> 00:42:18,300
You know, we all do--
Well, not totally, is it?
783
00:42:18,380 --> 00:42:19,461
I mean, she's completely...
784
00:42:20,701 --> 00:42:24,340
It's-- It's like the moon
orbiting round the earth,
785
00:42:24,741 --> 00:42:27,380
These things sometimes
fly up in your face, don't they?
786
00:42:27,461 --> 00:42:30,901
And, you-- You know,
we can't hold that against her,
787
00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:34,101
now, son, can we? I mean,
she's young, she's footloose,
788
00:42:34,181 --> 00:42:36,701
I mean, we're both victims in this,
you know, you and me.
789
00:42:37,340 --> 00:42:39,941
Both bloody victims, like...
790
00:42:43,021 --> 00:42:45,621
How can I ever say I'm sorry?
791
00:42:47,701 --> 00:42:48,780
Fuck's sake!
792
00:42:52,981 --> 00:42:55,461
Oh, okay, all right. Fair enough. Is it--
793
00:42:55,541 --> 00:42:56,380
All right, okay.
794
00:43:16,501 --> 00:43:18,340
[Lip] She moved into her
grandma's that night.
795
00:43:18,421 --> 00:43:21,221
I've seen her twice at school,
she didn't see me.
796
00:43:21,901 --> 00:43:24,701
Honouring thy father
takes some doing.
797
00:43:25,860 --> 00:43:28,380
They say give to receive
which is virtually impossible
798
00:43:28,461 --> 00:43:31,141
with somebody who believes
in "share and share alike."
799
00:43:31,981 --> 00:43:33,021
[man] How do, Frank?
800
00:43:33,581 --> 00:43:36,141
-[Frank] Yeah, not bad, yeah, okay. Night.
-[man] Bye.
801
00:43:42,340 --> 00:43:44,581
[laughs]
802
00:43:58,780 --> 00:44:00,101
[growls]
-[Fiona] Hey, hey, hey.
803
00:44:00,181 --> 00:44:01,461
Who are you?
Who said you could come in?
804
00:44:01,541 --> 00:44:03,501
Two grand's worth of debt
and still mounting up.
805
00:44:03,581 --> 00:44:06,501
[bailiff 1] He pays up or he does without.
We're talking legs.
806
00:44:06,581 --> 00:44:07,421
[bailiff 2] Where is he?
807
00:44:07,501 --> 00:44:09,261
[bailiff 1] Do you know what
your new name is, Frank?
808
00:44:09,340 --> 00:44:10,501
Dead man walking.
809
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:11,941
I reckon he's broke the rules.
810
00:44:12,021 --> 00:44:13,541
He's used his full name somewhere.
811
00:44:13,621 --> 00:44:17,661
Request from the Child Support Agency
for a domestic circumstances appraisal.
812
00:44:17,741 --> 00:44:19,860
[Fiona] What's any this got to do
with the Child Support Agency?
813
00:44:19,941 --> 00:44:22,061
Presumably because your mum
asked for a summary.
814
00:44:22,141 --> 00:44:23,221
Do you know where she is?
815
00:44:24,021 --> 00:44:25,661
[Fiona] You know where mum is,
don't you?
816
00:44:25,741 --> 00:44:26,581
-No.
-Liar.
817
00:44:26,661 --> 00:44:28,501
[Frank] You think I'm going
around chasing skirt?
818
00:44:28,581 --> 00:44:31,061
A bloke couldn't love anybody
more than I love you.
819
00:44:33,581 --> 00:44:34,461
Mum.
820
00:44:34,541 --> 00:44:36,820
[music playing]
821
00:45:12,101 --> 00:45:13,741
Past the fruit and veg...
822
00:45:14,501 --> 00:45:15,981
-It's too near the doors.
-[machine beeping]
823
00:45:16,061 --> 00:45:17,860
-[Megan] You're doing great, Sheila.
-[Sheila sobbing]
824
00:45:17,941 --> 00:45:19,701
-Hang on.
-[electronic buzz]
825
00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:24,340
[Megan] They're charging 3.80
for panty liners.
826
00:45:24,421 --> 00:45:25,981
How's that worth coming out for?
56876
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