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1
00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:10,101
[Frank] Now, nobody's saying
the Chatsworth Estate
2
00:00:10,181 --> 00:00:12,141
is the Garden of Eden.
3
00:00:12,541 --> 00:00:15,260
At least I don't think they are.
But it's been a good home to us,
4
00:00:15,461 --> 00:00:17,541
to me, Frank Gallagher,
5
00:00:17,701 --> 00:00:20,300
and me kids, who I'm proud of,
6
00:00:20,381 --> 00:00:25,261
'cause every single one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
7
00:00:25,581 --> 00:00:26,501
[all gasp]
8
00:00:28,381 --> 00:00:30,500
Y'know, they can all think for themselves,
9
00:00:30,581 --> 00:00:32,540
-which they've me to thank for.
-[kids yelling]
10
00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:36,021
[Frank] Fiona, who's a big help,
massive help.
11
00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:37,860
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,
12
00:00:37,941 --> 00:00:40,461
which is why nobody calls him
Phillip anymore.
13
00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:43,781
Ian, a lot like his mam,
which is handy for the others,
14
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:47,181
'cause she's disappeared
into thin air, and good luck to her.
15
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,301
-[barking]
-And Carl...
16
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,021
We daren't let him grow his hair.
17
00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:52,301
One, it stands on end
and makes him look like Toyah.
18
00:00:52,381 --> 00:00:54,421
Two, nits love him.
19
00:00:54,501 --> 00:00:58,421
[chuckling] Debbie.
Sent by God. Total angel.
20
00:00:58,501 --> 00:00:59,781
You've to check your change,
21
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,141
but she'll go miles out of her way
to do you a favour.
22
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:05,461
Plus Liam! Little rock'n'roller!
23
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:07,821
-Gonna be a star.
-[screams]
24
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,221
Well, once we've got
the fits under control.
25
00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:12,621
You know, it's these things are vital
26
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:16,621
to an half-decent community.
And space.
27
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,461
You need wide open spaces
28
00:01:19,541 --> 00:01:21,181
-where everyone goes mental...
-[all cheering]
29
00:01:21,261 --> 00:01:24,541
...and neighbourliness,
you know, fantastic neighbours.
30
00:01:24,621 --> 00:01:26,860
Kev and Veronica.
Lend you anything.
31
00:01:26,941 --> 00:01:29,101
Well, not anything.
32
00:01:30,021 --> 00:01:34,101
But all of them, to a man,
know first and foremost,
33
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:38,060
one of the most vital
necessities in this life is,
34
00:01:38,581 --> 00:01:41,621
-they know how to throw a party!
-[siren blaring]
35
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:44,140
-[Frank] Whoa! Scatter!
-[everyone cheering]
36
00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:47,700
-[officer blowing whistle]
-[commotion]
37
00:01:57,741 --> 00:02:00,021
-[police sirens]
-[fireworks exploding]
38
00:02:18,980 --> 00:02:22,021
[Lip] Hiya. I said I'd help
your Karen with her homework.
39
00:02:22,741 --> 00:02:23,741
Okay.
40
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:26,181
Take your shoes off.
41
00:02:27,061 --> 00:02:27,980
Fair enough.
42
00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:29,820
[Sheila] I'll get you a carrier bag.
43
00:02:37,661 --> 00:02:39,901
She's got this thing
about people bringing soil into the house.
44
00:02:39,980 --> 00:02:41,781
-[TV playing]
-Right.
45
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:43,861
[Karen] She's not as mad as she seems.
46
00:02:43,941 --> 00:02:45,301
Agoraphobia.
47
00:02:46,141 --> 00:02:47,421
Oh, right.
48
00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,700
-[Karen] So how come you know all this?
-[Lip] It's just something I do.
49
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:54,100
-What, like a hobby?
-No. The plans.
50
00:02:54,181 --> 00:02:56,260
-What, physics?
-[Lip] All sorts. Look.
51
00:02:56,781 --> 00:02:59,461
I've got a great one
for Newton's First. Watch.
52
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:04,661
Everybody continues in a state
of rest...
53
00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,301
or uniform motion...
54
00:03:08,781 --> 00:03:10,100
unless acted upon
55
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,341
-by an external...
-[zip opens]
56
00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:13,461
...force.
57
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:16,781
-Karen!
-Hello.
58
00:03:17,181 --> 00:03:19,341
Look, don't do-- Look, Karen!
59
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:21,461
To be honest,
I could do with the money.
60
00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:22,621
What money?
61
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:24,781
I charge for homework. I thought you knew.
62
00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:25,901
I'm skint.
63
00:03:29,461 --> 00:03:30,420
Okay.
64
00:03:33,901 --> 00:03:35,061
[whispers] Fuck!
65
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,100
Lip, have you got any deodorant?
66
00:03:45,301 --> 00:03:47,941
-[stammers] I-I'm using Ian's.
-Oh.
67
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,621
If I stick this lot
in the washer before I go out,
68
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:51,941
will you keep an eye on it?
69
00:03:53,221 --> 00:03:55,820
-Do it tomorrow.
-God, it stinks in here.
70
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:58,941
-It's the T-shirt I'm in.
-That's why it stinks.
71
00:03:59,181 --> 00:04:00,901
You're like bloody chimps, you three.
72
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:04,140
[Veronica] Fiona! We need to go if we're
gonna get a lift to the club.
73
00:04:04,221 --> 00:04:06,700
[Fiona] Give us five minutes,
Veronica.
74
00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:13,781
-[sighs]
-[door shuts]
75
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,461
[groans]
76
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:24,901
[chuckles]
77
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:34,421
[gasps]
78
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:38,341
-[door opens, shuts]
-[footsteps approaching]
79
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:39,861
[Ian] Hiya.
80
00:04:48,101 --> 00:04:51,901
[club music playing]
81
00:05:06,901 --> 00:05:08,021
[Fiona] Oi!
82
00:05:08,821 --> 00:05:10,141
Excuse me!
83
00:05:10,221 --> 00:05:11,541
[Fiona] He's got me bag!
84
00:05:12,221 --> 00:05:14,261
[Steve] Excuse me.
Everybody move! Oi!
85
00:05:14,341 --> 00:05:15,901
[Fiona] Oi! He's got me bag!
86
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,781
[Steve] Move, move, move!
87
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:27,781
-[tyres screech]
-Bastard!
88
00:05:29,821 --> 00:05:32,301
[tyres screech]
89
00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:33,940
-I'm sorry.
-[Veronica laughing]
90
00:05:34,021 --> 00:05:37,180
I know you missed
but that was top fucking notch.
91
00:05:38,021 --> 00:05:40,261
Steve. Look, I was gonna offer
to buy you a drink, anyway.
92
00:05:41,901 --> 00:05:43,021
Were you now?
93
00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:45,180
-[Steve] Yeah, I was, actually.
-[Fiona pants]
94
00:05:45,421 --> 00:05:48,380
-What do you reckon, Veronica?
-I don't know. Do I get one?
95
00:05:48,901 --> 00:05:50,661
-Yeah, I think you will.
-[laughs]
96
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:53,341
What is it,
snake bites all round, yeah?
97
00:05:53,781 --> 00:05:55,461
-Maybe. [laughs]
-[Veronica laughing]
98
00:05:55,701 --> 00:05:56,901
-No, no, no.
-Oi!
99
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,261
You're not getting back in like that.
100
00:05:58,701 --> 00:05:59,740
[Veronica] Are you serious?
101
00:05:59,821 --> 00:06:01,740
-Look at the state of him.
-State of you.
102
00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:03,620
If you were doing your job,
he wouldn't have had to.
103
00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:06,541
-[scoffs] You fat twat.
-[bouncer] You're all barred.
104
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:08,701
-What for?
-Uh, drugs.
105
00:06:10,461 --> 00:06:12,021
He let him get away,
'cause he knows him.
106
00:06:12,101 --> 00:06:13,500
Hey, watch your mouth, spunk face.
107
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,021
Hey, look, don't talk to her like that.
108
00:06:15,101 --> 00:06:16,661
-Or you'll be trying what?
-Oi!
109
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:18,581
Forget it, forget it. Let's get a taxi.
110
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,940
Thanks. Thanks, anyway.
111
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,581
[both gasp, scream, laugh]
112
00:06:29,261 --> 00:06:30,820
[both scream]
113
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,981
o-Come on!
-[Veronica] You fat wanker!
114
00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:37,781
[Veronica and Fiona laughing]
115
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:42,301
[Veronica] Woo-hoo!
116
00:06:44,301 --> 00:06:45,661
[Lip] I got a blowjob today.
117
00:06:47,261 --> 00:06:49,740
What have you been told
about encouraging pets?
118
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:54,421
-Karen Jackson.
-Yeah, right, Lip.
119
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:58,180
She's desperate to get physics.
I didn't ask.
120
00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:00,581
I didn't even know
until she yanked it out.
121
00:07:06,421 --> 00:07:08,940
You'd have told me straightaway
if you would have been noshed.
122
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:10,421
[indistinct chatter in other room]
123
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,740
-You ever had yours sucked?
-[music playing]
124
00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:15,661
Well... once or twice.
125
00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:18,141
Didn't hear you telling me.
126
00:07:19,541 --> 00:07:22,380
How come, Ian? A breakthrough like that,
if we tell each other everything...
127
00:07:26,981 --> 00:07:28,740
Unless you got it sucked by a bloke.
128
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:31,701
[rustling]
129
00:07:47,421 --> 00:07:50,021
[sobs softly]
130
00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:51,701
-[Veronica laughing]
-What was it he called you?
131
00:07:51,781 --> 00:07:53,620
A spunky monkey, brown face
or something.
132
00:07:53,701 --> 00:07:55,861
[Veronica] It wasn't me
he called a spunk face. It was her.
133
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,940
[Veronica] I'm more of a juice face.
[laughing]
134
00:07:58,021 --> 00:07:59,740
-Not in front of the kids, mate.
-[laughs]
135
00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:02,060
Oh, they've heard worse.
I get it off of them.
136
00:08:02,820 --> 00:08:04,180
[Steve] Here's the spunky monkey.
137
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:05,380
[Veronica] Hey. [laughing]
138
00:08:05,461 --> 00:08:08,861
[laughing] I nearly wet meself
when you whacked that guy.
139
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:10,700
[chuckles] Well, I did a bit. [laughs]
140
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:13,221
He'll kill you if ever he sees you, Steve.
141
00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:15,180
Yeah?
142
00:08:16,581 --> 00:08:18,260
Listen, how many people live here?
143
00:08:18,341 --> 00:08:19,981
Well, I'm next door but one.
144
00:08:20,301 --> 00:08:23,301
But next door's dead
so I'm, um, next door.
145
00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:24,740
Yeah? Are you a nurse, Veronica?
146
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:27,500
-Uh, part time.
-[Fiona] You lying cow.
147
00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:28,461
She's a cleaner.
148
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:31,380
[Veronica] They asked me to train twice,
at least.
149
00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:34,741
[Fiona] Just before they sacked you
for thieving once and for all.
150
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:37,621
Hey, hey, if you're patching me up with
stolen goods, I'm straight on the blower.
151
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,541
[Veronica] Will you shut up!
You don't even know him!
152
00:08:39,621 --> 00:08:43,060
-[kids laughing]
-You sit still. [laughs]
153
00:08:43,141 --> 00:08:45,141
Well, I would, if you stopped nudging me
with your knockers.
154
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,100
[gasps]
155
00:08:46,181 --> 00:08:48,541
-[groans] Ow!
-[Veronica] Sit still!
156
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:52,061
-I'm Steve, by the way.
-Debbie.
157
00:08:54,581 --> 00:08:55,980
-Lip.
-Carl.
158
00:08:56,061 --> 00:08:58,941
-[Fiona] And that's Ian.
-[Steve] Hi, Ian.
159
00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:00,421
Hey, Debbie,
why do they call him Lip?
160
00:09:00,501 --> 00:09:01,821
[Lip] Hmm. A, you stink,
161
00:09:01,901 --> 00:09:03,501
B, you're not as funny
as you think you are,
162
00:09:03,581 --> 00:09:05,460
and C, you whacked a bouncer,
you're gonna be dead soon,
163
00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:08,100
-so it's pointless getting to know you.
-[Carl] Stuff like that.
164
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,821
Stuff like that, yeah.
Boy meets death wish.
165
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:11,980
Wahey!
I thought you were fetching
166
00:09:12,061 --> 00:09:13,340
-an Indian home.
-I couldn't be arsed
167
00:09:13,421 --> 00:09:15,941
-so I found a taxpayer.
-[kids laughing]
168
00:09:17,421 --> 00:09:19,061
-What's going on?
-We got turfed out the club.
169
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:22,381
Steve stuck up for us. Decked a bouncer.
170
00:09:23,181 --> 00:09:25,821
-Which bouncer?
-Jimmy Clifton.
171
00:09:26,621 --> 00:09:28,980
-Fuck me.
-[Fiona] Come on, you lot. Off to bed.
172
00:09:29,061 --> 00:09:30,340
[kids laughing]
173
00:09:30,421 --> 00:09:32,100
-[Veronica] Bed.
-[Fiona] Aw.
174
00:09:32,181 --> 00:09:33,460
[Kev] Good night, kids. See you later.
175
00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:35,621
-[Veronica chuckling] Bye!
-See you, love.
176
00:09:41,021 --> 00:09:42,941
-[Kev] Oh.
-[Veronica laughing]
177
00:09:43,941 --> 00:09:45,261
-That's his?
-[Veronica] Yeah.
178
00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:48,460
-Well, work's.
-What kind of work?
179
00:09:49,261 --> 00:09:50,261
Car sales.
180
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:52,581
-Where?
-I don't know.
181
00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:56,021
Didn't ask. I'm not as nosy as you.
182
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,581
Oh, right. But you didn't mind
watching him take his shirt off, did you?
183
00:09:58,661 --> 00:10:00,061
[chuckles] No.
184
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,860
And if you hadn't walked in,
I'd have tripped him up
185
00:10:01,941 --> 00:10:03,661
-and dived straight under. Whoa!
-Hmm. [chuckles]
186
00:10:03,741 --> 00:10:05,781
[laughs]
187
00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:26,941
Look, straight answer...
188
00:10:27,821 --> 00:10:30,460
if I hadn't have battered my skull for
you, would you have looked twice?
189
00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:34,141
Who's saying I looked twice?
190
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:35,261
[clinking]
191
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,421
[Steve sighs] You did then.
192
00:10:45,901 --> 00:10:46,901
We can't.
193
00:10:53,581 --> 00:10:55,100
And ninety percent
of this world's problems
194
00:10:55,181 --> 00:10:57,860
are caused by little words
that come in pairs.
195
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,381
We're healthy and we're happy,
196
00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:05,581
and yet when anybody asks us,
197
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:08,061
we say, "Not bad."
198
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,901
You know, when I saw you
for the first time, dancing,
199
00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:15,261
this was about a month ago,
by the way, in Pretso's...
200
00:11:16,581 --> 00:11:17,980
I was desperate to buy you a drink.
201
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:22,181
But you know what I said
to myself? "I can't.
202
00:11:23,261 --> 00:11:25,501
She won't. We wouldn't."
203
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,941
And then you were there again tonight,
204
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,460
and all the indications being
that I'm getting a second chance
205
00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:33,941
to make a good impression.
206
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:35,781
So you say stop...
207
00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,100
and I'll stop.
208
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,860
[both chuckle]
209
00:11:51,141 --> 00:11:52,181
[Steve moaning]
210
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:54,541
[chuckles] Slower.
211
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:57,381
[Steve chuckles]
212
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:08,100
[birds chirping]
213
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,781
-[both moaning]
-[utensils clanking]
214
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,941
-[thumping]
-[moaning continues]
215
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:34,381
-[Steve groans]
-[Fiona moaning]
216
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,821
Oh, nearly, nearly, nearly!
217
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:38,661
[Fiona moans]
218
00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:42,340
-[knocking on door]
-[Steve screaming] Oh! Oh!
219
00:12:42,421 --> 00:12:43,941
Shit! Shit!
220
00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:46,100
-[Steve groans]
-[Fiona panting]
221
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,381
[Fiona panting]
222
00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:57,141
[Steve panting]
223
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,620
-Fiona in?
-Yeah. Uh...
224
00:13:05,581 --> 00:13:06,740
yeah, she's upstairs.
225
00:13:09,661 --> 00:13:10,701
I'll just go get her.
226
00:13:14,941 --> 00:13:16,661
[pants]
227
00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:20,061
-Police.
-I know. I'll sort it.
228
00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:25,860
Go away, you!
229
00:13:26,421 --> 00:13:27,701
-Shh.
-[Debbie] Come on, Liam.
230
00:13:27,781 --> 00:13:29,541
-Back to bed. Come on.
-[Liam] Okay.
231
00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:31,661
[Steve panting]
232
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,620
[Tony] I wouldn't put him
anywhere near a carpet
233
00:13:39,701 --> 00:13:41,261
until his kecks dry off a bit.
234
00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:45,421
[Tony groans]
235
00:13:45,501 --> 00:13:47,581
-[Steve] What the fuck's that?
-[Fiona] He's me dad.
236
00:13:50,301 --> 00:13:51,381
[Frank groaning]
237
00:13:54,421 --> 00:13:57,100
-Thanks, Tony. I appreciate it.
-Cheers, Fiona.
238
00:13:57,181 --> 00:13:59,261
[pants] Night.
239
00:14:03,781 --> 00:14:04,941
[Fiona sighs]
240
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,620
-[car door shuts]
-[engine revving]
241
00:14:07,701 --> 00:14:10,181
-Hey, do you want a hand?
-[Fiona] No, you're all right.
242
00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:13,901
[door shuts]
243
00:14:23,581 --> 00:14:24,541
Do you, um...
244
00:14:25,941 --> 00:14:27,301
Do you leave him there all night?
245
00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:29,661
-He's never there when I get up.
-Okay.
246
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:34,901
Who's the little 'un, Liam?
247
00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:37,301
Brother.
248
00:14:38,421 --> 00:14:40,141
[rustling]
249
00:14:59,421 --> 00:15:00,381
[door shuts]
250
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,100
[car engine starts]
251
00:15:40,141 --> 00:15:41,141
[car door shuts]
252
00:15:42,021 --> 00:15:44,460
[keys jingling]
253
00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:00,901
-[knocking on door]
-[washing machine whirring]
254
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:11,740
[Steve] Hiya.
255
00:16:12,941 --> 00:16:14,500
Listen, um... [clears throat]
256
00:16:14,581 --> 00:16:16,581
I'm wondering
how you're fixed for Friday.
257
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,061
-Party.
-Great.
258
00:16:20,141 --> 00:16:22,860
-You wouldn't get invited.
-What, is it a hen do, yeah?
259
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,541
It's just not that kind of party.
260
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:27,460
Look, Steve, you're not that desperate.
261
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:30,141
Wanting to see you again is desperate?
262
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:31,661
Feeling like you have to.
263
00:16:33,301 --> 00:16:34,980
You could get laid anywhere.
264
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:37,061
So I'm only here for a fuck?
265
00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:40,181
Never crossed your mind?
266
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,340
[Steve chuckles]
267
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,220
This is all a bit
Hans Christian Andersen.
268
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,701
You see, you think
you've found your dream girl,
269
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,261
and then her incontinent
alcoholic father drops in
270
00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:54,380
-to wreck everything.
-Don't take the piss out of me.
271
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,220
Yeah, well, don't pretend
like you don't even know me.
272
00:16:56,301 --> 00:16:57,500
You weren't that drunk.
273
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:02,181
Look, if the only reason
274
00:17:02,261 --> 00:17:04,180
last night happened
was because it happened...
275
00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:08,221
don't knock it, all right?
At least something did.
276
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,501
-It did for me.
-[door opens]
277
00:17:13,261 --> 00:17:15,860
-Hey, it's the smart arse.
-Hey, it's the loser.
278
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:18,301
-[Steve] No school today?
-Two teeth out this morning.
279
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,140
[Steve] All right. Well, listen,
if you're chewing,
280
00:17:20,221 --> 00:17:21,821
make sure you don't just do it
on one side.
281
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,981
If you do that, you can bugger
your jaw and if that happens,
282
00:17:24,061 --> 00:17:25,301
that'll change the way you walk.
283
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:27,261
-[chuckles] Is that a fact?
-It's a skeletal fact.
284
00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:28,701
And if you keep talking out of your arse,
285
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,621
you're gonna end up needing
a much bigger toothbrush.
286
00:17:30,981 --> 00:17:32,501
-Anal fact.
-Cheers.
287
00:17:34,301 --> 00:17:36,301
[Fiona] Lip. [mouths] Fuck off.
288
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:40,900
[door opens, shuts]
289
00:17:40,981 --> 00:17:43,341
-[thumping]
-[machine whirring]
290
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,301
[sighs] Look...
291
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,061
thanks about the bag.
292
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,541
-And stuff.
-[Steve chuckling]
293
00:17:57,341 --> 00:18:00,821
-Stuff?
-I'm just not looking, Steve.
294
00:18:06,581 --> 00:18:07,741
[Ian] I'm not having this.
295
00:18:08,541 --> 00:18:11,541
[Lip] Look, just once, for me, then I
swear, I'll shut up about everything.
296
00:18:13,061 --> 00:18:14,381
Swear though, Lip, then.
297
00:18:16,021 --> 00:18:17,861
[Lip] Just try it. You might like it.
298
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:25,501
Oh, she's thrilled with you.
She got an A for her physics.
299
00:18:26,301 --> 00:18:28,301
Karen, it's your little helper!
300
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,221
I'll get you carrier bags.
301
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,141
[rustling]
302
00:18:42,141 --> 00:18:43,301
[Eddie] Right, I'm off.
303
00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:46,261
Oh, hiya, lads.
304
00:18:47,141 --> 00:18:48,141
Where's our Karen?
305
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,101
Went looking for a felt tip.
306
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:55,940
[Lip laughing]
307
00:18:57,781 --> 00:18:59,461
-Guess.
-[Eddie sighs]
308
00:19:00,221 --> 00:19:01,381
-Tuna.
-Nope.
309
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,981
-Uh, corned beef.
-Nope.
310
00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:05,900
Kiss and I'll tell.
311
00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:09,861
I'll find out what I've got
when I eat 'em, won't I?
312
00:19:10,981 --> 00:19:14,021
Right, Karen, I'm late, so I'm off.
See you in the morning, sweetheart.
313
00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:33,021
What are you hiding for?
314
00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,261
What's she hiding for?
315
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,660
Oh, Jesus Christ, no.
316
00:19:48,301 --> 00:19:50,621
-No!
-[Karen screaming]
317
00:19:51,381 --> 00:19:52,301
[Eddie] Hey!
318
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:54,861
What?
319
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,621
[Karen] He's gonna kill him!
320
00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:02,581
-He's gonna kill him!
-[clattering, shattering]
321
00:20:02,821 --> 00:20:03,981
He's killed him.
322
00:20:04,821 --> 00:20:05,781
[Lip groaning]
323
00:20:10,301 --> 00:20:12,061
[groaning]
324
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:14,341
Come back here, you little animals!
325
00:20:17,861 --> 00:20:19,781
-[Veronica] Around two hours.
-[Ian] Right.
326
00:20:19,861 --> 00:20:22,221
Top of the freezer. Two ice collars.
327
00:20:22,301 --> 00:20:23,981
-Don't drop 'em. They can split.
-Right.
328
00:20:24,061 --> 00:20:25,781
Second cupboard above the sink,
329
00:20:25,861 --> 00:20:29,501
liquid ibuprofen, freeze spray
and microthermal bandages.
330
00:20:29,581 --> 00:20:31,900
[Fiona] Shouldn't he get it X-rayed?
Oh, grow up, Fiona.
331
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,700
He'll be there till midnight for what?
332
00:20:33,781 --> 00:20:35,501
Submetatarsal haematoma.
333
00:20:35,581 --> 00:20:37,741
Yeah, cheers,
we knew that five hours back.
334
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,861
Fuck off. Microthermal bandages,
335
00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:42,861
sizes eight and ten.
Could need either so bring both.
336
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:44,781
-Right.
-And front bedroom,
337
00:20:44,861 --> 00:20:46,180
-top of the video...
-Yeah?
338
00:20:46,781 --> 00:20:47,821
Fags and lighter.
339
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,021
-[groans]
-[knocking on door]
340
00:20:53,101 --> 00:20:54,861
[Lip gasps] I'm not here! I'm not here.
341
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:56,180
[Lip groans, screams]
342
00:20:56,261 --> 00:20:59,141
[Ian] Just say we're out or you've never
heard of us, Fiona, please.
343
00:20:59,221 --> 00:21:00,621
What have you done?
344
00:21:09,021 --> 00:21:10,141
Get back up the stairs.
345
00:21:15,261 --> 00:21:17,700
[delivery man] Can I get through here
or does it need bringing round the front?
346
00:21:18,141 --> 00:21:20,141
-Hey?
-[delivery man] Washer-dryer.
347
00:21:20,221 --> 00:21:21,501
[scoffs] Not me.
348
00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,821
-Gallagher, number two?
-[Fiona] Yeah.
349
00:21:25,341 --> 00:21:26,221
But it's not ours.
350
00:21:29,141 --> 00:21:31,021
[Kev moaning, grunting]
351
00:21:32,621 --> 00:21:33,700
[grumbling]
352
00:21:43,541 --> 00:21:45,420
Where the fuck are you going
with them?
353
00:21:46,061 --> 00:21:47,301
Veronica wants them.
354
00:21:48,261 --> 00:21:49,741
Chuck us one over here.
355
00:22:07,541 --> 00:22:10,021
[alarm clock music blaring]
356
00:22:13,940 --> 00:22:15,141
[inhales]
357
00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:18,660
[imitates trumpet sound]
358
00:22:18,741 --> 00:22:20,741
-[clanking]
-[indistinct chattering]
359
00:22:21,781 --> 00:22:22,741
All right.
360
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,541
-I thought you'd no money.
-[Ian] We haven't.
361
00:22:30,981 --> 00:22:33,221
-[Liam] We haven't.
-These were inside it.
362
00:22:37,381 --> 00:22:40,660
-[Veronica] "Steve." No!
-Yeah.
363
00:22:41,261 --> 00:22:43,221
-Who's Steve?
-[Fiona] Other night.
364
00:22:43,501 --> 00:22:46,021
-Never!
-I know!
365
00:22:46,101 --> 00:22:47,261
[Veronica]
You haven't got a vase?
366
00:22:47,341 --> 00:22:48,180
No.
367
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,021
Can I have the flowers for doing
Lip's leg?
368
00:22:50,101 --> 00:22:50,940
No.
369
00:22:52,341 --> 00:22:54,741
[Kev] Veronica, just button it, will you?
And just follow me, will you?
370
00:22:55,061 --> 00:22:56,581
[Veronica]
I'm following you! Fucking hell.
371
00:22:56,660 --> 00:22:57,621
[Kev] Stop pulling it back.
372
00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:58,940
[Veronica] I'm not pulling it back!
373
00:22:59,021 --> 00:23:00,460
[Kev] I'm taking the strain on it,
aren't I?
374
00:23:00,541 --> 00:23:01,660
-[Veronica] Oh.
-[Carl] Lip!
375
00:23:01,940 --> 00:23:04,821
Watch how many I can do. Look. Look!
376
00:23:05,141 --> 00:23:07,781
Fifteen years,
I've done everything in my power to--
377
00:23:07,861 --> 00:23:09,541
What did I say? What did I tell you?
378
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:12,021
Sow and thou shalt reap!
379
00:23:12,381 --> 00:23:14,141
Well, she didn't reap that from me,
did she?
380
00:23:14,221 --> 00:23:17,301
Reap what? What are you reaping now?
381
00:23:18,581 --> 00:23:22,101
Eddie, what if I try? Really try? I--
382
00:23:22,180 --> 00:23:24,180
Mum, don't beg him!
383
00:23:24,261 --> 00:23:26,700
If the bastard can do this,
he's not worth it!
384
00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:28,900
-[Eddie] Hey, you watch your mouth.
-Get fucked!
385
00:23:28,981 --> 00:23:30,101
[door slams]
386
00:23:31,261 --> 00:23:32,861
Don't try blaming me for this!
387
00:23:33,821 --> 00:23:35,660
Your own worst enemies, you two, eh?
388
00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:38,821
They say bad things come in threes.
They don't.
389
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:40,141
Twos. You twos.
390
00:23:40,541 --> 00:23:42,381
Now let me in or I'll tear this door off!
391
00:23:43,541 --> 00:23:44,541
[Karen] Sod off!
392
00:23:48,541 --> 00:23:49,700
[phone ringing]
393
00:23:56,180 --> 00:23:58,621
[Fiona]
How much have you paid for it?
394
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:01,061
Um... I'm not gonna tell you that.
395
00:24:01,141 --> 00:24:03,861
Because it was a present, so you'd
remember my phone number,
396
00:24:03,940 --> 00:24:06,660
which... [chuckles] obviously worked.
397
00:24:07,381 --> 00:24:10,221
[Fiona] Thought you'd better know
your washer-dryer's in the backyard.
398
00:24:10,301 --> 00:24:13,101
We don't want it, I don't need it.
So you'd better pick it up before it rots.
399
00:24:13,341 --> 00:24:14,221
[Steve] Is it?
400
00:24:16,861 --> 00:24:18,581
-No.
-What, did--
401
00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:19,700
did the guy connect it?
402
00:24:20,381 --> 00:24:21,341
Yes.
403
00:24:22,821 --> 00:24:23,821
[Steve] So it's working?
404
00:24:25,700 --> 00:24:27,341
-Yes.
-[mouths] Yes.
405
00:24:27,420 --> 00:24:29,621
[sighs] So you've tried it.
406
00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:41,981
[Kash] Ta, love.
407
00:24:42,660 --> 00:24:44,141
-Smell your breath.
-Fuck off.
408
00:24:45,261 --> 00:24:46,460
-[sniffs]
-[machine beeping]
409
00:24:46,541 --> 00:24:47,981
-Pork scratchings.
-No, it's not.
410
00:24:49,301 --> 00:24:50,180
They were mine.
411
00:24:51,660 --> 00:24:53,341
[Kash] See? And I wouldn't mind,
412
00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:55,781
but scratchings aren't scratchings.
They've never seen no pork.
413
00:24:57,061 --> 00:24:59,101
Ian, I pay your wages.
414
00:24:59,501 --> 00:25:01,101
So if you catch him letting me down,
415
00:25:01,180 --> 00:25:03,221
then you'd better be straight
on the mobile. Right?
416
00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:04,460
Message received.
417
00:25:05,101 --> 00:25:07,781
And you, if you're not
at that mosque by midnight,
418
00:25:07,861 --> 00:25:09,781
you are gonna be in deep shit
with your dad.
419
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:13,940
[Kash] See you later, light of my life.
I mean it, Kash. We're all watching you.
420
00:25:14,541 --> 00:25:15,501
See you at home.
421
00:25:17,660 --> 00:25:18,541
[laughing]
422
00:25:18,621 --> 00:25:20,541
Can you earn your money
while you're taking the piss?
423
00:25:43,501 --> 00:25:44,501
[sighs]
424
00:25:49,660 --> 00:25:52,741
[exhales] Now you know what I feel like.
425
00:25:55,341 --> 00:25:56,621
Quit whingeing.
426
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:00,101
Drink more.
427
00:26:01,781 --> 00:26:03,660
[laughs]
428
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:14,621
[Sheila whimpers]
429
00:26:16,861 --> 00:26:19,981
Mum, we've got to wear our shoes.
There's bits of glass you can't see.
430
00:26:20,301 --> 00:26:22,261
[wood clanking]
431
00:26:26,581 --> 00:26:27,541
[Lip] Cheers.
432
00:26:28,021 --> 00:26:29,541
Maybe Lip could do with a drink.
433
00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:32,381
Sorry. Yes, sorry, Lip.
434
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:34,821
It's been a bit of an off day today,
hasn't it, Karen?
435
00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:37,700
So... vodka, some tonic.
436
00:26:38,940 --> 00:26:41,301
Plenty of rum, but we're out
of blackcurrant,
437
00:26:41,381 --> 00:26:43,261
-and gin, definitely.
-Just coffee, Mum.
438
00:26:43,341 --> 00:26:44,420
[Sheila] And a few lagers.
439
00:26:44,501 --> 00:26:46,381
Lager would be great, Sheila.
Cheers.
440
00:26:51,420 --> 00:26:52,581
[door shuts]
441
00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:56,101
[Lip] What if your dad
comes back and sees me?
442
00:26:56,581 --> 00:26:57,781
He won't.
443
00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:01,101
[hammering]
444
00:27:02,301 --> 00:27:03,381
That's my fault.
445
00:27:03,621 --> 00:27:05,741
He's been looking for an excuse
for months.
446
00:27:07,861 --> 00:27:08,821
Thanks.
447
00:27:12,741 --> 00:27:16,021
So, um, what kind of impression
did you get of Ian?
448
00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:17,581
He seems nice.
449
00:27:18,581 --> 00:27:19,420
Hard?
450
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:21,940
Couldn't tell. He didn't say much.
451
00:27:22,021 --> 00:27:23,220
No. [stammers] I mean...
452
00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:26,621
did he get a hard-on?
453
00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:28,861
No.
454
00:27:33,501 --> 00:27:35,460
[indistinct chattering]
455
00:27:54,501 --> 00:27:56,261
[Ian and Kash]
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
456
00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:04,781
[Kash] Count the crisps again,
Ian, and this time do it proper.
457
00:28:05,261 --> 00:28:08,341
And I'll do the peanuts, all right?
[gasps] Jeez! Lip.
458
00:28:09,141 --> 00:28:11,420
Just, uh, cheers for the tools, Kash.
459
00:28:12,261 --> 00:28:14,301
[Kash] Any time, eh?
So long as I get 'em back.
460
00:28:14,861 --> 00:28:16,981
So, uh, orange juice.
Let's count what's in the fridge.
461
00:28:17,061 --> 00:28:17,900
Two bottles.
462
00:28:17,981 --> 00:28:19,741
[Lip] Jesus Christ.
463
00:28:20,541 --> 00:28:22,700
Tell me you are taking the piss.
464
00:28:27,061 --> 00:28:28,180
You're fucking him?
465
00:28:30,180 --> 00:28:31,261
Him?
466
00:28:35,821 --> 00:28:37,501
[Lip] Kash bought you the trainers,
didn't he?
467
00:28:42,781 --> 00:28:43,821
[Lip sighs]
468
00:28:45,741 --> 00:28:48,341
He's married. With kids.
469
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:53,220
-What else does he buy you?
-Just stuff now and again.
470
00:28:53,781 --> 00:28:54,900
[breathes heavily]
471
00:28:57,141 --> 00:28:58,261
And you're happy with that?
472
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:00,700
Eh?
473
00:29:03,781 --> 00:29:04,900
What does that make you?
474
00:29:06,381 --> 00:29:07,781
Fucking rent boy at best.
475
00:29:07,861 --> 00:29:09,741
[Ian] Now, listen to me, bollock brains.
476
00:29:10,021 --> 00:29:11,460
You crack on you know everything.
477
00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:13,220
And you know what, fucking newt?
478
00:29:13,301 --> 00:29:16,261
Ask me what I've bought him.
Go on. Ask me.
479
00:29:16,341 --> 00:29:19,061
Two Man United shirts,
home and away,
480
00:29:19,141 --> 00:29:21,861
limited edition Beckham
shin pads for Christmas.
481
00:29:21,940 --> 00:29:25,420
So what does that make you, Lip,
eh? What does that make you?
482
00:29:25,501 --> 00:29:29,261
Wrong, that's what,
you smart-arse, short-arse fuck.
483
00:29:29,341 --> 00:29:31,940
So go round there now
and promise Kash
484
00:29:32,021 --> 00:29:33,741
you'll keep your mouth shut.
485
00:29:33,821 --> 00:29:37,061
'Cause he's shitting himself and he's done
nothing, understand?
486
00:29:37,141 --> 00:29:39,220
Absolutely fuck all to be sorry for.
487
00:29:41,301 --> 00:29:44,501
Fake Muslim cheats
on white fundamentalist wife
488
00:29:44,581 --> 00:29:46,061
with gutless gay boy.
489
00:29:48,061 --> 00:29:49,501
Says more about United fans
than it does
490
00:29:49,581 --> 00:29:50,741
about the rest of us.
491
00:29:55,141 --> 00:29:58,541
-[speaking indistinctly]
-[Kash sobbing]
492
00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:06,180
[dog barking in distance]
493
00:30:32,180 --> 00:30:33,460
[snoring]
494
00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:42,460
[Fiona sighs]
495
00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:45,541
Just tell me you haven't got
some girl pregnant.
496
00:30:45,621 --> 00:30:46,621
No danger.
497
00:30:47,621 --> 00:30:49,781
Not if that's how you end up
being to your kids.
498
00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:53,501
[Frank snoring]
499
00:30:53,581 --> 00:30:54,821
Did he give you your dinner money?
500
00:30:55,861 --> 00:30:58,861
-No, I'll pay it myself.
-No, you won't.
501
00:31:08,940 --> 00:31:11,821
-[coins clattering]
-[Ian laughing]
502
00:31:15,341 --> 00:31:19,220
-[Fiona] Here. There you go.
-[Ian laughing]
503
00:31:19,301 --> 00:31:22,061
You must be sick of having
to think for everybody.
504
00:31:24,940 --> 00:31:27,621
At least I can,
so it makes me feel wanted.
505
00:31:29,980 --> 00:31:32,501
If the best you're aiming for
is wanting to be wanted...
506
00:31:33,980 --> 00:31:36,301
you've a job for life
with that clown, Fiona.
507
00:31:39,741 --> 00:31:40,700
Night.
508
00:31:54,420 --> 00:31:55,541
[door shuts]
509
00:31:58,341 --> 00:31:59,861
[mobile phone ringing]
510
00:32:17,301 --> 00:32:18,900
-Hello.
-If you're not bullshitting,
511
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:19,980
what was I wearing?
512
00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:23,781
-[Steve] Wearing? Uh...
-The first time you saw me.
513
00:32:26,460 --> 00:32:27,740
[Steve] You were wearing a pink top...
514
00:32:29,220 --> 00:32:30,621
and black trousers.
515
00:32:31,621 --> 00:32:33,420
Cropped black trousers.
516
00:32:33,781 --> 00:32:36,980
And, uh, and you had dangling earrings,
517
00:32:37,061 --> 00:32:39,940
just one earring.
It was a long, thin dazzler.
518
00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:43,460
And you had your hair up
in these little clips,
519
00:32:43,541 --> 00:32:46,021
and it was, like, rosy clip things.
520
00:32:46,821 --> 00:32:49,740
And you were dancing next
to a red-haired girl in a green dress.
521
00:32:50,660 --> 00:32:51,660
Gemma.
522
00:32:52,420 --> 00:32:53,980
Who's a lot better looking than I am.
523
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:55,141
[Steve] You reckon?
524
00:32:55,420 --> 00:32:56,861
So why weren't you looking at her?
525
00:32:58,940 --> 00:33:01,301
Because you think like that
and Gemma doesn't.
526
00:33:02,261 --> 00:33:04,261
Because Gemma's dancing
for an audience and you're dancing
527
00:33:04,341 --> 00:33:06,141
like there's nobody else in the room.
528
00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:12,261
Your life's not straightforward, Fiona,
and a little bit of that travels with you
529
00:33:12,341 --> 00:33:13,781
but you don't stop it showing.
530
00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:17,660
You're not fake, you're not vain,
531
00:33:17,740 --> 00:33:19,980
you're not-- you're not lost
so you don't need finding.
532
00:33:20,061 --> 00:33:22,261
You're not trapped
so you don't need springing.
533
00:33:23,821 --> 00:33:26,381
I tell you, this whole town
belongs to the fucking Gemmas
534
00:33:26,460 --> 00:33:28,781
of this world and I'm sick
of the fucking sight of them.
535
00:33:30,581 --> 00:33:32,341
I swear to God, Fiona, you're just...
536
00:33:33,460 --> 00:33:34,940
you make me want to enjoy my life.
537
00:33:36,460 --> 00:33:38,301
I've lost mates because I talk too much.
538
00:33:39,061 --> 00:33:40,341
But every time I try the opposite,
539
00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:42,581
I get accused of sulking,
which only makes it worse.
540
00:33:42,660 --> 00:33:45,261
So, are you still there? Hello?
541
00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:47,980
Hello? Hello?
542
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:11,820
-[Steve] I knew you'd come.
-[music playing]
543
00:34:11,901 --> 00:34:14,141
[Fiona] People like you are used
to getting your own way.
544
00:34:14,621 --> 00:34:16,021
Who are people like me?
545
00:34:18,061 --> 00:34:20,381
All right, agree or disagree.
546
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:23,461
[chuckles] He thinks
the sun shines out his arse.
547
00:34:24,101 --> 00:34:25,021
[chuckles] Agree.
548
00:34:26,141 --> 00:34:29,061
-He's overgenerous and that bugs me.
-Agree.
549
00:34:29,740 --> 00:34:32,421
Because I'm not used to being spoiled.
550
00:34:33,340 --> 00:34:34,340
Agree.
551
00:34:35,220 --> 00:34:37,300
Nevertheless, though, he--
he's overeducated
552
00:34:37,381 --> 00:34:39,581
and he's got more money than sense.
553
00:34:39,660 --> 00:34:42,260
-Your words, not mine.
-But they fit.
554
00:34:43,220 --> 00:34:44,101
Agree.
555
00:34:44,901 --> 00:34:46,260
He's-- He's had an easy life.
556
00:34:46,860 --> 00:34:48,340
-Definitely.
-And I prefer a bloke
557
00:34:48,421 --> 00:34:49,820
who's been around the block a few times.
558
00:34:49,901 --> 00:34:50,740
Maybe.
559
00:34:51,700 --> 00:34:53,421
But I can't help my upbringing.
560
00:34:53,501 --> 00:34:55,061
Well, I'm not apologising for mine.
561
00:34:55,141 --> 00:34:56,220
Was I asking you to?
562
00:34:58,181 --> 00:35:00,300
-[waitress] Finished?
-No.
563
00:35:01,421 --> 00:35:02,621
No, we're working on it.
564
00:35:05,461 --> 00:35:06,421
Please.
565
00:35:07,021 --> 00:35:09,820
Do you want to wait outside
while I take care of the bill?
566
00:35:09,901 --> 00:35:11,941
Uh, at least you can smoke there.
567
00:35:13,901 --> 00:35:14,941
Sure.
568
00:35:16,701 --> 00:35:17,820
Can I borrow your lighter?
569
00:35:26,061 --> 00:35:28,501
-Time to get your jacket, sir?
-[Steve] Hmm.
570
00:35:30,300 --> 00:35:31,381
Yeah, it is.
571
00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:40,661
[classical music coming from car]
572
00:35:42,101 --> 00:35:43,661
[music stops, car door opens]
573
00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:47,061
-[car door shuts]
-[Steve] Mr and Mrs Pace.
574
00:35:47,261 --> 00:35:51,021
You all right? How are you?
Lovely to have you back again.
575
00:35:51,101 --> 00:35:52,421
-Enjoy your meal.
-[Mr Pace] Thank you.
576
00:35:55,181 --> 00:35:57,300
-[car door shuts]
-[engine revving]
577
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:07,901
[phone ringing]
578
00:36:19,780 --> 00:36:20,860
Hello.
579
00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:24,381
[Steve] Uh, you seem a bit confused
about me, about how I pay my way.
580
00:36:24,741 --> 00:36:26,381
Well... [sighs] you're the last person
581
00:36:26,461 --> 00:36:28,981
in the world I need to confuse
right now, so here we go.
582
00:36:29,061 --> 00:36:32,820
I don't buy and sell cars,
I just sell them.
583
00:36:33,741 --> 00:36:34,941
But they're not mine.
584
00:36:36,981 --> 00:36:37,941
Satisfied?
585
00:36:38,941 --> 00:36:40,261
[dance music coming from car]
586
00:36:40,340 --> 00:36:41,300
[Fiona] No.
587
00:36:42,461 --> 00:36:43,621
They're really nice.
588
00:36:44,421 --> 00:36:45,701
They're really old.
589
00:36:45,780 --> 00:36:47,501
-They'll be dead soon.
-[tyres screeching]
590
00:36:47,581 --> 00:36:49,661
Look, he has beef, all right?
591
00:36:49,741 --> 00:36:51,701
Gets blind drunk and swears a lot.
592
00:36:51,780 --> 00:36:53,901
She can't even drive
so he turns up pissed.
593
00:36:54,661 --> 00:36:56,741
They're insured to the hilt, so,
I'll be doing everybody a favour
594
00:36:56,820 --> 00:36:58,261
by just taking them off the road.
595
00:36:59,461 --> 00:37:01,701
Come on. Do you fancy a laugh
or not, Fiona?
596
00:37:04,541 --> 00:37:05,661
This car's mine.
597
00:37:07,820 --> 00:37:11,300
♪ Nothing can stop us
not now I love you ♪
598
00:37:11,380 --> 00:37:14,860
♪ They're not gonna get us
They're not gonna get us ♪
599
00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:18,461
♪ They're not gonna get us! ♪
600
00:37:22,061 --> 00:37:23,340
[keys jingling]
601
00:37:32,101 --> 00:37:33,141
[keys jingling]
602
00:37:36,181 --> 00:37:37,701
Sounds like they're all in bed.
603
00:37:42,021 --> 00:37:43,141
[Frank] Gotcha.
604
00:37:44,621 --> 00:37:45,701
[Fiona sighs]
605
00:37:46,141 --> 00:37:48,061
Who's been eating my porridge, then?
606
00:37:48,421 --> 00:37:49,581
[Fiona sighs]
607
00:37:50,581 --> 00:37:51,541
Hiya, Dad.
608
00:37:52,661 --> 00:37:54,421
-This is Steve.
-We've met,
609
00:37:54,501 --> 00:37:56,780
-but you weren't exactly--
-How much do you weigh?
610
00:37:56,860 --> 00:37:59,621
-Wouldn't know.
-That'd fit me.
611
00:37:59,981 --> 00:38:01,261
Ignore him.
612
00:38:02,141 --> 00:38:03,981
Shift! [mouths] Now.
613
00:38:08,741 --> 00:38:09,741
[Steve chuckles]
614
00:38:11,541 --> 00:38:14,621
Listen, I, uh, I better get off
and let you get to bed, all right?
615
00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:20,860
[Steve chuckling]
616
00:38:24,340 --> 00:38:25,501
Thanks.
617
00:38:26,820 --> 00:38:27,860
That was really nice.
618
00:38:29,221 --> 00:38:30,181
You too.
619
00:38:36,300 --> 00:38:38,101
-Mm.
-[keys jingling]
620
00:38:39,021 --> 00:38:41,101
-[Fiona sighs]
-I want to know...
621
00:38:42,901 --> 00:38:44,820
who signed...
622
00:38:46,501 --> 00:38:47,581
for this?
623
00:38:50,421 --> 00:38:52,021
[keys jingling]
624
00:38:56,901 --> 00:38:57,941
[Steve chuckling]
625
00:38:59,941 --> 00:39:02,261
-What the fuck's he on?
-Oh, I think he bought Es.
626
00:39:02,661 --> 00:39:05,780
The only dealer he gets credit from
is a registered schizophrenic.
627
00:39:09,941 --> 00:39:12,101
Well, it's not a case
of whether I agree, Steve.
628
00:39:12,181 --> 00:39:15,780
It's a fact. If I was a single parent--
629
00:39:16,021 --> 00:39:19,421
-Aren't you a single parent?
-"Yeah, but if I had tits."
630
00:39:19,501 --> 00:39:21,621
Yeah, but if I had tits, Steve...
631
00:39:21,701 --> 00:39:23,541
-[Steve laughing]
-[Frank] ...they'd double the money.
632
00:39:23,621 --> 00:39:26,181
You know, with a bloke,
they don't fucking know.
633
00:39:26,261 --> 00:39:28,741
No, no, I get it, Frank, I get it.
It's prove you're looking for work.
634
00:39:28,820 --> 00:39:31,261
[stammers] And the rest, Steve. And the--
635
00:39:31,340 --> 00:39:34,581
What was World War II all about
if blokes like me are still getting shit?
636
00:39:34,661 --> 00:39:38,021
[Steve] Yeah. Not "How's a guy
supposed to find work with kids this age?"
637
00:39:38,981 --> 00:39:41,820
-Correct. Hello! [chuckles]
-[Steve chuckling]
638
00:39:41,901 --> 00:39:44,701
Oh! Good shout. Well done.
639
00:39:44,780 --> 00:39:47,661
'Cause her mum, God rest her soul...
640
00:39:47,741 --> 00:39:50,501
-Dad, don't start.
-...'cause she'd better be dead, the cunt.
641
00:39:50,581 --> 00:39:51,941
-[chuckles]
-Cut it out!
642
00:39:52,021 --> 00:39:54,741
A four-month-old baby, Steve.
643
00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:57,541
16-year-old girl
just had her appendix out,
644
00:39:57,621 --> 00:40:00,221
11-year-old Lip,
ten-year-old Ian,
645
00:40:00,300 --> 00:40:02,501
seven-year-old, five-year-old.
646
00:40:02,581 --> 00:40:05,221
Oh, and an Escort van, calypso blue.
647
00:40:06,101 --> 00:40:08,101
-Right.
-[Frank] What's the one thing
648
00:40:08,181 --> 00:40:10,501
we needed? One word, eh?
649
00:40:10,581 --> 00:40:12,661
-One thing.
-Sterilisation.
650
00:40:12,741 --> 00:40:16,261
-[Fiona laughing]
-Continuity. Continuity!
651
00:40:16,340 --> 00:40:19,820
You know, one Tuesday, right, we're out of
bread, so I send her down the shops.
652
00:40:20,221 --> 00:40:21,621
She grabs the van keys.
653
00:40:23,981 --> 00:40:25,421
I haven't seen it since.
654
00:40:25,941 --> 00:40:28,981
And we haven't a fucking clue
where she is, have we?
655
00:40:29,061 --> 00:40:30,860
Eh? We-- Oh,
656
00:40:30,941 --> 00:40:33,621
-I fucking love this.
-[loud music playing]
657
00:40:33,981 --> 00:40:37,300
♪ Let the sunshine in
Kick you out ♪
658
00:40:37,380 --> 00:40:40,061
[Frank] So what could I do, Steve?
What could I do?
659
00:40:40,820 --> 00:40:42,581
Vanish for three weeks.
660
00:40:42,860 --> 00:40:45,101
-[Frank] I had a breakdown.
-[Fiona] You moved in with Paddy
661
00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:47,820
-and went on a bender.
-I had a nervous breakdown.
662
00:40:48,820 --> 00:40:49,820
Fair enough.
663
00:40:49,901 --> 00:40:51,981
-[knocking on door]
-Dad.
664
00:40:52,741 --> 00:40:53,820
Keys.
665
00:40:54,261 --> 00:40:56,701
♪ Gonna kick you out!
Let the sunshine in ♪
666
00:40:56,780 --> 00:41:00,261
♪ Kick you out
Let the sunshine in ♪
667
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:02,261
-♪ I'm gonna kick you out ♪
-[chuckles]
668
00:41:02,340 --> 00:41:05,581
♪ Let the sunshine in
Kick you out! ♪
669
00:41:05,661 --> 00:41:07,421
♪ Let the sunshine in ♪
670
00:41:07,501 --> 00:41:11,021
♪ I'm gonna kick you out
Let the sunshine in ♪
671
00:41:11,101 --> 00:41:12,141
♪ Kick you out... ♪
672
00:41:12,221 --> 00:41:14,421
-Do you know what time it is?
-Yeah, sorry, Kev, it's Frank.
673
00:41:14,501 --> 00:41:16,300
-What have I told you?
-Oi. Oi.
674
00:41:16,901 --> 00:41:20,860
[Frank] Eh! Here we go.
Neighbours of Satan.
675
00:41:20,941 --> 00:41:23,981
The day you pay rent,
like some of us, Frank...
676
00:41:24,061 --> 00:41:25,860
-[music stops]
-...you can play whatever shit you want.
677
00:41:25,941 --> 00:41:26,780
[Frank chuckles]
678
00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:28,780
-[Kev] But till then...
-[yawns]
679
00:41:29,221 --> 00:41:31,141
...if you're pumpin' it
at this time of night,
680
00:41:31,661 --> 00:41:33,941
-you play stuff that we like.
-[Frank chuckles]
681
00:41:34,380 --> 00:41:36,021
-All right?
-[loud music playing]
682
00:41:36,101 --> 00:41:37,541
-Do you get it, mate?
-I get it.
683
00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:39,981
-Go on, get that down you.
-[Frank laughs]
684
00:41:40,061 --> 00:41:42,581
[all speaking indistinctly]
685
00:41:42,661 --> 00:41:44,621
-[Kev] New Year's Eve.
-[Fiona speaking indistinctly]
686
00:41:44,701 --> 00:41:47,701
-[Fiona speaking indistinctly]
-[Veronica laughing]
687
00:41:47,780 --> 00:41:50,541
-[Kev cheering]
-[all laughing]
688
00:41:50,621 --> 00:41:52,981
-[indistinct chatter continues]
-[laughing continues]
689
00:41:56,261 --> 00:41:58,621
♪ Don't you think
That I'm bound to react now? ♪
690
00:42:00,780 --> 00:42:04,021
♪ Well, my fingers definitely
Turning to black now ♪
691
00:42:06,181 --> 00:42:08,981
♪ Maybe I'll put my love
On ice ♪
692
00:42:09,061 --> 00:42:11,780
♪ And teach myself
Maybe that'll be nice ♪
693
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:16,061
-[music playing]
-[indistinct chatter, laughing]
694
00:42:16,141 --> 00:42:17,380
[dog barking]
695
00:42:19,701 --> 00:42:21,300
He made me follow you up.
696
00:42:22,621 --> 00:42:23,581
[chuckles] I know.
697
00:42:24,860 --> 00:42:26,701
But he's right. You can't drive now.
698
00:42:30,061 --> 00:42:31,021
But...
699
00:42:34,421 --> 00:42:36,261
Liam is in here somewhere.
700
00:42:39,141 --> 00:42:40,261
Don't the kids wake up?
701
00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:44,380
-Would you?
-[chuckles]
702
00:42:44,461 --> 00:42:46,581
[muffled music from downstairs]
703
00:42:50,981 --> 00:42:53,181
[Steve sighs]
704
00:42:56,021 --> 00:42:57,780
[Kev cheering]
705
00:43:01,860 --> 00:43:03,541
[alarm blaring]
706
00:43:08,380 --> 00:43:09,741
[birds chirping]
707
00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:11,701
[Debbie] Liam, come and have
your breakfast.
708
00:43:11,780 --> 00:43:14,221
-[Liam mumbling]
-You seen Ian?
709
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,221
-He'd gone before I woke up.
-[Lip sighs]
710
00:43:16,461 --> 00:43:17,941
His school uniform's not here neither.
711
00:43:30,820 --> 00:43:32,741
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
712
00:43:36,141 --> 00:43:37,221
Give me this.
713
00:43:40,581 --> 00:43:42,741
[Fiona chuckles]
714
00:43:44,900 --> 00:43:46,621
Tell me if you're not a morning person.
715
00:43:48,261 --> 00:43:50,581
It's not something
I've had much experience of.
716
00:43:53,421 --> 00:43:54,981
First time for everything.
717
00:44:25,780 --> 00:44:27,221
How can that be good for you?
718
00:44:30,780 --> 00:44:31,860
Or that.
719
00:44:31,941 --> 00:44:33,261
Do you know what's not funny?
720
00:44:34,181 --> 00:44:36,421
You. Ever.
721
00:44:47,860 --> 00:44:49,141
Anybody before Kash?
722
00:44:55,221 --> 00:44:57,101
-One.
-Who?
723
00:44:57,181 --> 00:44:58,461
I'm not telling you.
724
00:44:59,701 --> 00:45:00,941
And actually...
725
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:03,340
up the arse?
726
00:45:03,701 --> 00:45:05,661
'Cause look, I'm not taking the piss.
727
00:45:06,261 --> 00:45:07,581
I've come through a toilet roll.
728
00:45:07,661 --> 00:45:09,541
And that's just one finger.
Barely up the ring.
729
00:45:10,741 --> 00:45:12,661
Screamed the house down! [chuckles]
730
00:45:12,741 --> 00:45:15,061
Do you get used to that? Can you?
731
00:45:16,300 --> 00:45:20,061
The whole point of the digestive system's
about one-way traffic.
732
00:45:24,421 --> 00:45:25,421
It just is.
733
00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:27,780
-[laughs]
-What?
734
00:45:28,741 --> 00:45:31,621
-Wh-- What?
-[laughs] You!
735
00:45:32,340 --> 00:45:33,340
[Lip laughs]
736
00:45:33,661 --> 00:45:36,421
-[imitates Lip] "It just is."
-[laughs]
737
00:45:37,340 --> 00:45:39,621
Like we were only given lungs
so we can fucking smoke.
738
00:45:39,701 --> 00:45:42,141
[both laugh]
739
00:45:45,661 --> 00:45:46,780
[utensils clanking]
740
00:45:47,981 --> 00:45:52,141
-[Lip humming]
-[Liam laughing]
741
00:45:53,221 --> 00:45:54,701
[kids speaking indistinctly]
742
00:45:54,941 --> 00:45:56,541
Sit yourselves down. Who's for bacon?
743
00:45:56,621 --> 00:45:58,421
[Ian, funny voice] I won't say no
to a bit of bacon!
744
00:45:59,900 --> 00:46:01,101
Yummy!
745
00:46:01,741 --> 00:46:02,581
What's all this?
746
00:46:02,661 --> 00:46:05,900
Well, uh, Debbie's the only person
that gets up earlier than I do,
747
00:46:05,981 --> 00:46:08,541
so, uh, we shot off down
to Apu's on the corner.
748
00:46:09,541 --> 00:46:12,581
I said I never eat breakfast and she said
it's her favourite meal of the day
749
00:46:12,661 --> 00:46:14,900
-and since it's her birthday...
-[Fiona gasping]
750
00:46:15,541 --> 00:46:16,780
No, it's not!
751
00:46:17,860 --> 00:46:20,061
I didn't say it was,
I said I wished it was.
752
00:46:21,141 --> 00:46:23,101
-[Ian and Lip chuckling]
-All right. You wished it was.
753
00:46:23,181 --> 00:46:25,061
Sorry, completely misheard that, Debs.
754
00:46:25,141 --> 00:46:27,621
Perforated eardrum on the right.
M'lady.
755
00:46:28,141 --> 00:46:29,701
[Debbie] Anyone else want a drink?
756
00:46:29,780 --> 00:46:32,661
-Who's for bacon?
-You got 15 minutes tops.
757
00:46:33,141 --> 00:46:36,141
Ian, Lip, your turn to wash up.
Debbie, Carl,
758
00:46:36,221 --> 00:46:37,820
you need to put them bins out.
759
00:46:38,661 --> 00:46:41,380
[Frank] You know, somebody said,
"Show me a child
760
00:46:41,461 --> 00:46:44,181
before he's seven,
and I'll show you the man."
761
00:46:44,941 --> 00:46:47,820
Well, my problem with kids
is they're only seven once.
762
00:46:48,021 --> 00:46:51,221
After that, it's a fucking nightmare.
Massive!
763
00:46:51,741 --> 00:46:54,021
But one thing I'll say about my lot,
though,
764
00:46:54,101 --> 00:46:56,421
you know, they've been raised
to show respect.
765
00:46:56,860 --> 00:46:59,941
And I like that. It matters in our house.
766
00:47:00,461 --> 00:47:03,141
[indistinct chatter]
767
00:47:11,541 --> 00:47:13,661
Has anyone seen Dad since last night?
768
00:47:14,021 --> 00:47:16,300
[Frank] Six kids to keep on top of.
769
00:47:16,380 --> 00:47:17,221
[clicking tongue]
770
00:47:18,501 --> 00:47:20,021
[Tony] You can't file Frank
as a missing person.
771
00:47:20,101 --> 00:47:21,461
He's always missing.
772
00:47:22,061 --> 00:47:23,541
Ooh, that is tight.
773
00:47:23,621 --> 00:47:24,900
-[moans]
-[Veronica moaning]
774
00:47:25,061 --> 00:47:26,261
-Sorry.
-[Kev and Veronica panting]
775
00:47:26,340 --> 00:47:27,741
Was me dad in the Jockey this afternoon?
776
00:47:27,820 --> 00:47:29,261
Yeah, Frank were there. Slaughtered.
777
00:47:29,340 --> 00:47:31,421
[Lip] How was he looking when you
left him in the Jockey, Steve?
778
00:47:32,380 --> 00:47:34,340
[Kev] He can't be far. He's never far.
779
00:47:34,421 --> 00:47:38,661
[Veronica] Police? I've just found a body
exactly fitting Frank's description.
780
00:47:38,741 --> 00:47:40,461
[Debbie screaming]
781
00:47:40,541 --> 00:47:42,340
[theme music playing]
782
00:48:18,340 --> 00:48:19,380
[Frank] You might be getting...
783
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:23,541
but you've got a long way to go
before you catch up with...
784
00:48:41,061 --> 00:48:42,300
For fuck's sake!
54467
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