Original subtitles

It's life

Let yourself go

Cause everybody cries

Sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong

And folks, if I've learned one thing, it's this

You can't let your disability hold you back

You gotta wear it like a badge of honor

You got to go out there and you got to say world. This is me

This is who I am in all my glory and I'm here to win

Here at San Diego Trust Credit Union, we don't have customers or clients, we have

members, family members, and that's exciting. Yeah, big-time. Yes, yeah, and

there's nothing more exciting than Christmas Bonus Day, our busiest day of

The day hard-working union members get to turn their labor around.

Because tomorrow we put the trust in San Diego Trust.

That's it.

Alright, that's it?

Yeah.

Yeah? Good.

Nice. Powerful.

Thank you.

Back to work.

Back to work.

Right.

What about the story? Are you getting by?

Had to let Terrence go.

But I still open every day.

Not sure what else to do with myself now that Betty's gone.

Earl, I'm... I'm really sorry,

but if you can't pay, we're gonna have to foreclose.

I understand.

Okay, what I can do

is I can hold on to this paperwork until after the holiday.

Now, that should buy you enough time for Betty's Social Security

and retirement to clear probate.

Now, I can't promise that it'll save the store, but...

that should keep you in your house.

I appreciate that.

Let me walk you out, okay?

I'm so sorry again, Earl.

I mean, I can't even imagine what it's like to lose someone after 50 years of marriage.

Time don't matter.

Would've hurt just as bad if I lost her the day we met.

She brought the sunshine in my life.

What do you mean?

Yeah. Totally.

Hey, Nate.

Oh, thank you. Hey.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

What? Oh, no.

Oh, Jesus. I just...

Oh, that's fine. I mean, I can take care of that.

No, no. Really, you don't have to.

I'm actually really good at getting stains out of...

You actually don't have to. I'm good. I'll take care of it.

I promise. Everything's... Do not worry.

I, uh...

I...

I go?

I have to go. Sorry.

Oh.

Real smooth.

Idiot.

Yeah, come in.

Hey.

Sherry, hey.

Hi.

Hi.

Um, am I just so very fired?

Listen, I know I've only worked here for four months,

but I really feel like I have a lot to do.

No, no, no, you're not fired.

You are definitely, definitely not fired.

You sure?

Yeah.

I feel like I at least owe you, like, a new shirt.

Oh, this shirt?

No, no, no.

This, this is, it's the worst shirt I have.

Okay, well, maybe I could take you to lunch?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, no, actually, sorry, I brought mine today.

So I'm okay.

Okay.

Yeah, no pressure.

Okay.

But if you change your mind, let me know.

Bye.

Hey, uh, you know what?

I'm in.

Leave in ten?

Yeah.

Sounds good.

Looking forward to it.

Don't say that so loud.

Welcome back, honey. So you brought a friend this time.

Yeah, this is Nate.

Hey there, Nate. What can I get you?

Oh, you know, just, uh, just a milkshake, please.

Vanilla milkshake.

Yeah, you don't want any food?

They have really good sandwiches.

Really good sandwiches? Uh...

Nah. I'm good.

Okay. Um...

Then I'll have...

Oh, please tell me that you're not out of the cherry pie.

It's your lucky day. Got one left.

Nice.

Yeah.

So...

What's your deal?

Uh...

My deal?

Yeah.

You know, you're just always, like, I don't know, in your office,

and you never come out to the happy hours.

Uh, I don't, I don't, I don't really know.

You know, I'm, um...

I guess I'm just not really a very social person.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you have a girlfriend?

No. No, I don't.

Um, not, not right now. Yeah.

Are you on the apps?

No. God, no.

Why not? Really? You look great.

I could take a profile picture of you right now.

The reindeer tie would slay.

Oh, okay. All right.

Oh, thank you very much.

Enjoy. Call her if you need anything.

Thank you.

Mmm. Mmm-hmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Oh, my God. This is so good.

Cool.

Do you want some?

Oh, no, no. I'm okay. I'm fine.

I'm so good.

I'm really sure I'm fine.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't have any pie.

What do you mean you can't?

Uh, okay. Um, I have a genetic disorder.

Oh. Go on.

Oh, yeah, um, it's called, uh, SEPA,

um, congenital insensitivity to pain with anhydrosis.

Um, it affects my nervous system.

And it, uh, basically makes it so I can't feel pain,

um, or hot or cold.

And that's why I can't, uh, have the pie

or any solid food, really, because, um,

Unknowingly, I could bite my tongue off.

Oh, the coffee earlier.

Yeah, no, I couldn't feel that at all.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

You're a superhero.

Yeah, sure, yeah.

I have the power to step on a nail and not know until my shoe fills up with blood.

Right.

Yeah.

Didn't think about that.

True story, by the way. We were at the aquarium. My mom fainted.

Jesus.

Yeah.

My parents, they, um, they basically spent my entire childhood at the hospital.

And then when they found out that the average life expectancy for my condition was, um, 25,

they sort of locked me up.

I'm sorry.

No, hey, I'm, you know, I'm, uh, still kicking.

Okay. I mean, I hear all that.

But does that really mean that you can't have just, like, a little bite of this pie?

No, I can't. I mean, like I said, I could bite my tongue off.

You're not going to bite your tongue off, Nate.

This is the best cherry pie on the West Coast, okay? I swear to God.

Listen, if anything goes wrong, I'm right here.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go.

Yep.

Taking a bite.

Open your mouth.

Okay.

Remember, chew softly.

Yep.

Uh-huh.

Let the magic happen.

Uh-huh.

God, that is so good.

That is so good.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I told you.

What?

This is pie?

Yeah.

This is pie.

Pie's good.

Congratulations.

Whoa!

Whoa.

What are you doing later tonight?

I...

Look, she invited me out to this art show.

I'm... I... I'm just not gonna go.

I don't... I think I'm just gonna stay here and we'll...

we'll play and it'll... it'll be fine, you know?

You've been talking about this girl for months.

You're basically in love with her.

I mean, if I were you, I'd be all over that shit.

Yeah, man, but I'm not like you.

I'm not cool. I don't drive a Harley.

I'm not this hunky guy with a man bun.

Again, it's a short pony, but dude, that stuff is not why I do well with women.

Does it help? Of course it does, I'm not gonna lie.

But confidence is king.

I feel like I'm gonna mess it up somehow.

What's the worst that can happen?

You wind up alone in your living room playing video games?

You're already there, my guy.

What do you have to lose?

Nate, you're gonna die.

What? Oh, shit, sorry. Um...

Okay.

No, no, no. That was actually really impressive.

Hey, man, I'm sorry. My head's not in this right now.

Can I call you back a little later?

Oh, sure, yeah. I'll just go fuck myself.

Okay, thanks.

Boo. Hey. Hey. Hi. Hey, you came. You're here. Yeah. No, of course my, you know, my schedule

Cleared up and uh... Cool. Yeah. I'm glad you're here. Yeah, of course. What do you think?

These are yours

These are awesome. Thank you. Who are they?

They're from my therapy group

Some cutters, some suicidal. Everyone's kind of recovering in their own way

Jesus, you run a therapy group too. Oh

No, no, no. I attended.

Oh. Oh.

Damn. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no. Don't, don't.

I did not mean to.

Apologize. You're okay. It's fine.

I'm not ashamed of it.

Oh, wait. Uh.

What?

Oh my gosh!

I sold one.

Yeah? Why are you so surprised?

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Um, so, where'd you grow up?

Well, I grew up in Tucson and Cedar City and Sacramento.

Hmm.

I was in foster care.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, so I just kind of bounced around until I was 12.

And then I got adopted.

And I had, you know, my own room and a big brother and parents.

And it was all very exciting.

That's amazing. Do you still see him a lot?

Not really, no.

Um, it wasn't exactly a loving housemate.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

So, I, uh, left when I was 18 and I've been on my own ever since.

Man, that is tough. I'm sorry.

It's fine.

You know, if you, uh, don't have anybody you care about, it's harder to get hurt, right?

Nova King?

Holy shit!

It is you!

This is fuckin' wild.

I thought you'd be dead by now.

Yeah, well...

I'm not.

Yeah?

Good for you, bro.

Just like old times, huh?

It's fuckin' Nova King!

And he's not fuckin' dead!

So what was that?

That was some asshole that I went to middle school with.

And what did he call you?

Nova King?

Yeah, it was just some dumb nickname they gave me.

You know, once the other kids found out about my condition, they basically started kicking

my ass pretty much daily.

Figuring it didn't matter, you know, because I couldn't feel any of it, so...

I'm sorry.

But, I gotta say, as far as nicknames go,

Novocaine?

Kinda badass.

No.

Really?

Yeah!

Okay, well, thank you, but they didn't think so.

It, it, it was fine.

Sorry.

Um, excuse me for one second.

Hey.

Yeah?

What does it deal with the alarm?

Um...

I gotta set one of these every three hours

or else my bladder might explode.

Other kids

blast with that one, too. Trust me.

Hey.

I heard you two are getting along.

We really are. He's hilarious.

You know what?

I think you two just need to let bygones be bygones.

What do you say?

What do you mean?

Shots. Duh.

Come on, my treat.

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Okay, great.

And no hard feelings, right?

Yeah, sure.

Feelings. Get it?

So clever.

Fucking die.

There you go.

Thank you.

Here you go.

What the fuck was that?

What is that?

Leapin' Larry's Five Alarm Ghost Pepper Sauce.

Do you like it?

Yeah, it's Novocaine's favorite.

Hey, should we head back to your place?

You can put those on his tab.

That was amazing. That was... you're a very good actor.

Oh, thank you.

Oh my god, that's gonna be killing him thinking that I'm taking you home.

You bitch, you are.

Wait, what?

Have you really read all these books?

I don't get out much.

Really? You've even read the Mayo Clinic A-Z Health Guide?

When you can, um, entail yourself without realizing it, um, you know,

first aid knowledge comes in pretty handy.

Touche.

You're a real renaissance man, Nathan Cain.

I never would have guessed.

What?

What else are you hiding?

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

You sure?

Yeah.

Is there more?

There's... there's a bit more, yeah.

Whoa.

Wait, what the fuck? Who are you?

These are amazing. Where did you get them done?

Uh... I did them myself.

No, did you really?

Yeah.

How long did that take you?

Um, well, it started when I was a teenager and then as I got better at it, I kind of got more sucked into it and it was, uh,

it was just like, um,

this secret world, this,

this other life that,

you know, was actually an adventure.

It's a story, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, you could, you could call it that, yeah.

How does it end?

I don't know. I'm still figuring that out.

So I have a question.

If you can't feel pain, does that also mean that you can't feel pleasure?

I mean, I think I can.

Nathan, can you feel this?

I feel a little bit of pressure.

How about this?

I definitely feel like something.

It's not just you, Nate.

Everybody is hiding something.

I think we're all just looking for someone we can show it to.

You're making me feel

My heart's in overdrive

You're behind the steering wheel

Touching you

Touching you

Touching you

You touch your food

So last night was life changing

No, no, no, wait a bit

Last night was really great

Last night was...

amazing.

Ho, ho, ho!

Gentlemen, love the outfits!

How can I help you?

We're here to make a withdrawal.

Get down! Get down!

Get down! Get down!

Get down! Get down!

All right, everyone.

Do exactly as we say,

and you'll all live to open up your presents.

Phone! On the ground in front of you!

Hands behind your heads!

Mr. Manager!

Yes?

You're up.

Lock's tripped!

Three minutes.

Open the vault.

I won't be able to open it in time.

Forty-five.

Open the vault, or I will kill you.

No.

I won't do it.

He won't do it.

He ain't called my bluff.

Ask. You. Very. Nicely.

Captain Kringle?

Your beard.

Sorry, buddy.

You saw my face.

Assistant Manager!

Don't care!

What the fuck is wrong with you?

One thirty.

Hey, hey, look at me.

Say the fucking numbers.

What?

Huh?

Huh.

Okay.

Have it your way.

Wait, hey, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no!

Open her brain pan!

Okay, okay, okay!

I'm telling you, I'm telling you!

Stop it!

I'm telling you!

0-1, 32, 26.

No, please.

Is that so hard?

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Holy shit.

Merry Christmas, motherfucker.

Come to me.

The cops are here early.

Let's go.

Take a back.

He's got the other.

Let's move.

Grab a fucking hostage.

Sorry, sweetheart.

Come on.

Here we go.

Don't fucking lose it!

Alright, three, two, one.

Guns on the ground!

Okay.

Okay.

Just take it easy.

Go.

Security.

Oh

Keep pressure on it

Don't I'm sorry, I will bring it back. Oh my god. What am I doing?

We're rich motherfuckers, it's not about the money what is important is that we had fun

Guys?

We got company.

Oh, fuck!

Oh!

You're okay, you're okay.

Fuck, he's still coming!

What's your fucking call, genius?

Split up, meet back at the shop.

Get on the highway.

No, no, no, no.

I ain't getting on the highway.

Get on the highway.

I'm gonna stay there.

He needs us.

Get away!

Come on, we're trying to share it.

What the fuck?

Sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

Please!

Out of the way!

Hey, hey, hey, look.

Look, man, I don't want any trouble. I just want to know where Sherry is.

Hey, you're not a cop?

Uh, no, but...

Come on, man, just tell me where she is. I'll let you go.

Okay?

You ever fired a gun before?

Do you, uh, even know where the safety is?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, wait!

It's not quite okay, I'm not that guy. I just want to-

You're fucking dead, you know that?

Please!

Okay, so those are definitely third degree, so you're gonna want to run it under some cool-

I'm not done with you.

Okay, wait, hold on.

Come here!

Look, I still feel like we can get what we want here-

Ah! Oh, you're strong.

Ooh, I am so sorry.

Oh, no.

Hey, last chance. Tell me where she is.

Eat shit.

Okay, okay.

Hey. Hey, man, you okay?

You had to do it, you had to do it, think about Sherry, think about it.

So, Sherry was kidnapped, and you killed a guy in a kitchen.

Roscoe, just listen to me very carefully.

I don't have a lot of... Oh my God, I got shot.

What? You got shot?

Listen, all right? I just texted you a photo of a tattoo.

I need you to call around every parlor in San Diego and try to find out who did the art.

What am I, your fucking secretary? I'm not doing shit.

Roscoe, I wouldn't ask if I had any other choice.

I mean, we're a team, right?

Yes, a video game team. We've never even met in person.

And now you're involving me in a real-life murder?

Why don't you just call the police?

You know, I technically stole a cop car and then there's the whole thing about the guy that I killed.

Fine, Jesus. I'll get you the address, but that's it, okay?

Okay, thank you. Thank you, bye.

Details are still trickling in, but we have confirmed reports of multiple fatalities.

Citizens are advised to report any suspicious activity in their area,

but to not engage with...

Shit. I had a week to quit drinking.

Well, quit drinking.

No, no. I just mean it would be.

Detective.

Yeah, what do you got?

Three officers down.

One in the ICU.

Bank manager, DOA inside.

Three gunmen, two cars.

They took a hostage with them.

And one additional suspect at large.

Additional suspect?

Yeah, the assistant manager.

He stole a cruiser and followed the gunman.

Witnesses say it's the same guy who opened the vault.

Could be a double-cross.

Do we have units in pursuit?

No, these were the only ones in the area.

Calls went out of the 5th and 6th,

but they're spread thin because of the holidays.

Okay. Thank you, officer.

Thank you.

We need to get a file on that assistant manager. Quick.

Today was supposed to be an easy one.

I'm going.

Thanks.

I'm going.

Coming through, News. He's on my way. Come on.

Loans for lunch. Come back later.

Hey!

You sure you don't want me to just call you an ambulance?

No, no, no. I told you there's no time.

Sweet Jesus!

Here we go.

Earl, you okay?

Me? Oh, yeah, just...

This is not what I expected today.

I have the same consolation you need either.

Alright.

Let's find it.

Huh.

Is that it?

Hey! There we go.

Alright.

Some of this.

Just a little bit.

Ah, here we go. See?

See? Good as new.

Oh. Whoa. Um...

Earl, was there...

There's an EpiPen in there, right?

You mind handing that to me?

What? You allergic to something?

Uh, thank you. No, uh...

Epinephrine's just another form of adrenaline.

It should, uh... keep me from passing out.

Oh!

Yeah, I did it.

Okay.

Uh, alright. Hey, Earl. Thank you so much. Sorry, this was a lot.

You don't get that girl, Nick.

Oh, hey, um, almost forgot. This should, uh, help with the mortgage for a while.

Betty always said you were a good kid.

Oh, sorry.

All right, uh, I'll see you later.

You know, if I don't die.

You might want to launder that, by the way.

One of our bank robbers?

I hope so.

It'd be a shame if it was the real Santa.

Kitchen staff said a crazy guy in a tie did all this.

I'm thinking that's our assistant manager.

Well, speaking of...

Oh!

Got a bit of a profile on him.

Uh, Nathan Cain, single, male, 30,

no record, no affiliations,

zero traffic tickets,

an online gamer tag of Magic Nate Ball.

Oh, that's good.

Uh, worked at San Diego Trust for six years.

That just doesn't sound like a stone-cold killer to me.

And yet...

Do you have a cell phone number for him?

I just robbed a bank.

Tell the guy you really think he's just picking up his cell phone.

This is Nate speaking.

Hi, Nate.

Uh, this is Detective Barbara Mincy of the San Diego Police.

How you doing?

I've been better.

Did you catch the others?

Is Sherry, the hostage, is she safe?

Yeah, well, you know we're working on that but whatever it is you're doing isn't making our job any easier

So if you could turn yourself in the cash in right now, wait, sorry

Holy shit, you think I'm in on this?

Hey, I don't give a shit about the money I just want to save Sherry. Mm-hmm. Well, that's our job to worry about not yours

Yeah, well, I heard that 75% of hostages who die are killed in the first three hours

So unless you're calling me to tell me you found her. I'm not gonna stop

It's Sherry.

She, uh, is she your girlfriend?

Yeah, I mean, you know, we haven't necessarily put a label on anything yet, but...

Stop it, all right? I know what you're trying to do.

You don't give a shit about us.

No, Nate, that's not true. We just want everyone to get home safe, okay?

I understand you care about her, but...

Do you?

Do you know what it's like to wait your whole life to meet someone?

Someone who changes everything, who finally gives your life meaning?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. My daughter.

And if your daughter was kidnapped, would you wait around for someone else to save her?

Or would you do it yourself?

Alright, Nate. Have it your way.

Got a trace on his cell.

Hey, you good?

Yeah, let's move.

This is a total fucking shit show, man.

Look, there's nothing on the scanner about your brother.

That means he probably lost the tail.

Then why the fuck ain't he here?

I don't know, okay? I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know everything.

Maybe he had to switch vehicles.

Maybe he stopped off to get some ice cream.

The point is, your fucking whining about it isn't gonna make him show up any faster.

Watch how you're talking to me.

You may be running point on this, but you're not my fucking boss.

Hmm. Andre, I need you to switch up the vibe right now.

Because you're bombing me out. Come on!

Ben is going to be back in 15 minutes and everything is going to be fine.

Just keep saying it. Everything is going to be fine.

Yeah, fucking right.

No more silent treatment, huh?

I'm sorry I hit you, okay?

Do you, um, do you want to hit me?

Make it even?

Fuck. You.

Wow.

I do not like that tone.

I don't like it.

But I got just the thing to fix that attitude.

Oh, come on!

You love cola gummies.

Simon. Stop. What is this? Who is this little tantrum for?

We're alone now. You can feel free to break character whenever you like, sis.

It's just that you promised nobody would get hurt, okay? You fucking promised.

It's the heat of battle, Cher. Shit happens.

The heat of battle? You did not have to kill Nigel!

Nigel? Who is Nigel?

The bank manager. He was a nice fucking guy.

He was a Nigel too, wasn't he?

Nigel.

Cher,

I hate to break this to you,

but if you were able to get that

vault code out of Loverboy,

everyone would be alive right now, including Nigel.

Oh my god.

It's not like he had it framed on his wall.

Sounds a whole lot like

an excuse.

You know how I feel about excuses.

Don't you?

You're so fucking impossible.

What's done is done, okay, let's just stay focused on the plan and we can hash all this

out later over some pina coladas in Mexico.

Those are disgusting by the way.

Oh, it's in your teeth.

Yeah.

Hello ma'am, um is uh Zeno here?

I just need to talk with him for a second.

Sorry customers only.

You know what?

That's actually why I'm here.

I'm just looking to get some work done.

Looks like you've already had some work done today.

Sorry?

Oh! My appearance.

Uh, well...

You should see the other guy.

Thought that was a real guy for a second.

Wait here.

Thank you.

Yo, what's good?

I'm good.

Um, everything's good.

Um, uh, I was just looking to get a tattoo.

Fuck.

What's happening with your hand?

Oh.

Psoriasis.

It's really, really flared up on me today.

Yeah.

Alright.

So, where are we working?

Uh, yeah.

Just, um...

Right here

Yeah, I like it. That's that's good shit. Oh, wow. Thank you so much. I uh, I like yours too. Yeah, so

What you want? Well, I have a buddy of mine

And he got this awesome tattoo. I want the exact same one. I think he said that he got it here. No shit

You know Ben Ben

Yeah, Ben

So, um, did you guys serve together?

Yeah, we did serve together...honorably.

Rock on, brother.

Hey, um, speaking of Ben, is he still working at the same place?

I don't know. Ben doesn't talk about work.

Classic Ben. Hates work. Hates it.

Um, funny story about Ben.

You know his last name, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

How would you think it's pronounced?

Seriously, you're gonna love this.

Just say his last name.

Why don't you say it?

Ah, you know, never mind.

It's fine.

It's not that funny.

Because you know, you tell a bad joke, you have to explain it, it's not good.

Yeah, give me a sec.

Mm-hmm, yeah, take your time.

You know, I'm thinking that maybe you don't know Ben.

Yo, what the fuck is this?

I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? Just put down the knife.

Tell me everything you know about Ben, and I'm gone.

Let me show you how it's done.

Fuck you and the ones you rode in on, man.

Oh, okay.

Look, look.

Please.

Please don't make me do this.

I fucking need shit, man.

Oh!

Okay, okay.

This is gonna suck, are you sure?

Oh, fuck off.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, fuck!

Oh!

Hey, hey, hey, just give me his name.

Just give me his name.

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, fuck, it's cock!

Okay, okay.

Cock, Ben.

Ben Cock.

Oh.

There we go. Is that so hard?

Oh.

Oh.

I'm giving you what you want.

Just fucking go.

Just one second. One second.

Oh, shit.

Hey there, Chad.

It's Nate over at San Diego Trust.

Glad I caught you before the holiday.

Yeah, listen.

I was hoping you could run a quick credit check

on a new client whose file's incomplete.

His name is Ben Clark.

He did serve in the military.

Does that narrow it down?

Yeah. Yeah, VA loans.

That's him.

Um, you don't have any employment on record, do you?

How about a last-minute residence?

Yeah? Um, yeah, hold on one second.

Um...

Okay, shoot.

Okay.

4-2.

North Tower.

Wait. All right.

Chad, thank you so much, man. You're the best.

Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas to you, too. Go Padres.

Something's wrong. He should definitely be here.

Look, he's got plenty of time. We can't leave till it's dark anyway.

I'm gonna check his house.

The house he just spent all weekend booby-trapping like he's Wile E. fucking Coyote?

That house? You really think he's gonna go back there?

Use your brain, man.

He's my brother!

I'm well aware of that.

Take a half hour. If he's not there, I'll come back and we can go.

Andre.

Andre! Don't be a fucking idiot!

What is that?

What the fuck is that?

Why?

Ok, uh...

Alright.

Oh, come on, really?

Crossbow, under the sink.

Of course.

Whatever, fuck it.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I found you.

And now I'm gonna make you...

What the fuck?

Fufe. Big Fufe.

Okay.

This better be you calling from a hospital or a jail.

No, not quite.

I'm at 402 North Tower Lane in Cortez Hill.

I'm hanging upside down and I need you to come get me.

What the hell do you mean you're hanging upside down?

I mean I'm currently suspended in some kind of snare trap

and if you don't come right now and cut me down then Sherry's gonna die.

I'm probably gonna die.

Dude, you can't put that shit on me. I'm not getting involved in this.

You already are, okay?

Look man, I'm sorry. I just...

I don't know who else to call.

Maybe to you, I'm just...

I'm just some random guy you met on the internet.

But to me, all that time we spent together, it actually meant something.

You're...

You're my only friend, Roscoe.

And right now...

I need you.

God damn it.

Okay, look, it says 15 minutes, but I'll take the Harley and be there in 10, all right?

Yes.

Yes, thank you. Thank you so much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just hang in there.

Sorry, that wasn't a pun. I meant it sincerely.

No, no, it was funny. It was funny.

Just please hurry, okay?

Yeah, okay, bye.

Okay. Okay, ten minutes.

Ten minutes.

I can make it ten minutes. Okay.

Ben?

Oh, no.

You're here, bro.

Hi.

Who the hell are you?

Uh, I'm just a thief.

You know, just came here to, uh, thieve.

Where's my brother?

I'm sorry, your what?

Uh, look, man, look, I don't know anything about anybody's brother.

I'm, you know, I just randomly picked this place,

and, uh, well, apparently I picked wrong.

You know, most people just have a doorbell with a camera,

but an indoor snare trap?

Egg on my face.

You don't look like a thief.

Yeah, well, the best of us rarely do.

So you just picked this place at random, huh?

Yeah, yeah. Just my luck.

Then why the fuck do you have his address on your fucking hand?

That's such a good question.

And the answer's really gonna blow your mind.

Yeah, you can go ahead and take that if you need to.

Yeah. Look, Ben's dead.

Just heard it over the scanner.

Who did it? Cops?

No, apparently it was just some random good Samaritan.

Skinny guy in a suit.

Look, why don't you just get back here and we'll figure it all out.

Did he seriously just hang up on me?

Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hold on, hold on, hey, let's just talk about this.

You killed my brother!

Look, man, I, uh, I did kill him.

And look, I know that means you're gonna kill me too, but please, please just do me a favor, okay?

Just, just make it quick.

There's no need to draw this out.

I got a better idea.

You know, when I used to do this shit, back in Special Forces, it was always to try and

get some information.

But all that matters now is the pain.

Think about that.

You understand pain?

Yeah, I hate it so much.

Oh, oh, oh, no, stop it!

Ah, I mean, oh, fuck!

Mm, this is bad.

God damn it!

Ah!

Oh, wow.

No.

You sadistic fuck.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

Mm.

No, not the pliers.

Please, not the pliers.

I can't even imagine what you're gonna do with that.

please oh this little piggy went to market

gotta hit oh you spent so much time on this

this little piggy oh wow that hurt that one hurt the most yeah you do

Terribly! No! Please, no!

Oh, this sucks so bad! Please don't do that again!

What where the hell are you we're leaving in 30 minutes get your ass back here. Yeah. Yeah, I'll wrap it up

Now for my favorite part

I'm gonna keep your eyes in a jar on my man. Oh

Wait, don't do that. No

Actually, don't do that. Hey, how you your brother your brother told me something before he died. He said, uh

he said um tell my brother I'm sorry I'm sorry for that thing that happened when

we were kids. He said tell him, tell him that mom and dad always loved you the most.

Bullshit. We never met our dad. Okay I think maybe he meant it like

Metaphorically? Wait, no, please, please, please, please, no!

Roscoe?

No, it's fucking Daft Punk.

Of course it's me.

Oh, thank God. I was...

Huh.

What do you mean, huh?

Uh, no, I mean, um, it's just, uh, didn't you say that you were 6'5", and that you looked like Jason Momoa?

I said I kinda looked like Jason Momoa.

Right.

He's just a very specific looking man.

You know, how about you just say thank you for saving my life?

You're totally right. Absolutely.

Sorry.

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay, that's enough.

Look, go do whatever you gotta do and

please stay alive.

I need you to be physically able to explain all this to the cops.

Okay. I will stay alive.

I promise.

Oh, you're going to have to do better than that.

Boy!

Let's go get something, right?

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Sorry.

It's fine.

Just get something else.

Fucker!

Fucker!

Fucker!

My God!

Damn it!

You have one more?

Yeah!

Yeah!

You like that?

Yeah, that's right!

God damn it!

I'm gonna kill you!

I'm gonna fucking rip your fucking head off!

Okay.

Good thinking with the mace.

Jesus, hell of a way to go.

Uh huh.

What'd you set a timer for?

Um, this is for your... for your ETA or whatever.

I actually should pee, though.

Yeah. Wait, what?

Who the fuck are these guys, anyway?

No idea. Huge Home Alone fans, apparently.

Hey, um, thanks again for coming.

Yeah, well, what are friends for, right?

Yeah, man.

That being said, I will testify against you if need be.

Yeah, no.

No worries.

I assumed.

Oh, shit.

It's the cops.

Well, great.

Tell them everything.

Let them go save her.

No.

No.

They're not going to listen to me.

They think I'm in on this.

No.

If I go out there, they're going to bring me to the station.

And by the time I can convince anybody to go after Sherry, she'll be dead.

Wait a minute.

I think I have an idea.

You're Harley.

It's still parked out front.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Sort of.

What do you mean, sort of?

Nathan Cain!

I need you to come out the house with your hands up!

Look, come on, don't make this harder than it has to be, okay?

This whole town's going to shit.

Because the Chargers and the Clippers

betrayed us.

Really? Now?

Seriously, broke our heart for what?

To be second fiddle to the Rams and the Lions?

Freeze!

Freeze!

Hey!

Freeze!

Hey! Stop!

Freeze!

Stop!

Hey, what is he doing?

I don't know.

Ants!

Shit.

Who the hell is this guy?

Ha ha ha.

You've been deceived, for I am not Nate.

Don't care.

But who you are?

Somebody.

He's about to go to jail.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I can help you, I can help you.

I know where Nate's going.

Yeah, we'll start talking then.

Okay, okay, but can we have like a no kicking policy from this point on?

Where is he?

Alright, come on.

Time to go.

Where is your jumpsuit?

I'm not doing this, Simon.

Not doing what?

It's already done.

Can't do it.

Oh, fuck off.

Since when did you grow a conscience anyway, huh?

I mean,

what about all the other jobs we've done?

We've killed people before.

No, no. You've killed people before, Simon.

You. Not me. I'm not like you.

You think all this fake remorse

is gonna save your soul?

It's bullshit.

You know it.

Simon.

You know it.

Drop the gun!

I'm not gonna ask you again.

Okay.

You okay, Sherry?

Um.

I'm sorry.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm the guy that killed your friends.

So if you don't want to wind up like them, I suggest you let her go, and you get the

hell out of here.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh my fucking god.

Simon, don't.

You're the guy from the bank, right?

Okay, this is legitimately the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

You've been telling us to try to save Sherry.

Is that right?

Uh, I hate to break it to you, bud, but she's my fucking sister.

She played you, man.

You thought that she had feelings for you.

Nate, I'm...

I'm so sorry.

Okay?

I never meant for you to...

Look, everything that happened between us, I meant it, okay?

It was real.

I swear.

Oh, what a whore shit.

Look man, you're pointing the gun at the wrong bank robber dude.

You should be shooting her.

So now listen, why don't you just get out of here man, ok?

What are you doing?

Get yourself to the urgent care and just forget all about this.

Stop it.

Get over it.

I'll give it to you, bang boy.

You can take a punch.

Let's see how you do.

A little pressure.

Perfect.

Simon, stop it.

I'm tired of this.

Just go.

Honestly, just go.

Take the money and go.

I'm going to stay.

with him. You're gonna stay with that guy? Yeah. Sherry. Come on! I don't even know you anymore.

Fine. You won't do it. Yeah? Sure.

You know what?

You're right.

You don't know me anymore.

Moving in!

Get him on your head.

This one's cooked.

Help this guy.

Damn, Vespa guy was right.

He's pretty beat up.

Yeah?

Well, good thing we're here to save his ass.

You're lucky that you got such a good friend.

A little too chatty for me though.

Backup will be here in five. We're still stretched thin.

Does that mean I can punch out now?

Wanda's gonna start it's a wonderful life without me.

Yeah, we'll just get the elves to do your paperwork.

Wouldn't that be amazing if we...

Ah, hey.

Show me where you're hurt.

Alright, you're gonna be okay.

We just have to get to a hospital.

I'm going to take your car and I'm going to go after them, okay?

Like hell! I'm not giving you my keys.

Sorry.

Don't worry. I'm going to make sure...

You're really going to shoot me.

I should, asshole.

But I won't.

You're taking me with you.

Hi, can someone please tell me what's going on?

Where is he going?

Where, where, who's going?

Are we going to a high speed chase right now?

I don't know how you drive, I don't know who you are, and it's not a school bus!

You again!

Oh Jesus Christ!

Jesus, where'd you learn to drive like this?

I used to bruise cars.

What?

I don't anymore.

Oh, I might be dying, but I'm going to kill you first.

You're a fucking loser.

So where's this son of a bitch going?

He's headed to Pier 7 before there's a boat waiting. It was gonna take us out.

Don't taxi!

I can see, thank you!

You wanna know something funny?

If you'd have just stayed in that bank, Sherry would be right here sitting next to me.

She'd be just fine.

But now, now I'm going to hunt her ass down, I promise you that.

Yeah well, if you do find Sherry...

I want you to tell her something for me, okay?

Oh, God.

You are one sorry son of a bitch.

You know that?

I know, right?

It's kind of my thing.

Listen, I want you to tell her

that even though we didn't spend a lot of time together

that I always felt like we

What'd you feel like?

What was that?

I can't fucking hear you.

You're mumbling.

Speak up.

Sorry.

I'll try to be a little more...

Clear!

No.

I like that you're making me earn it, bank boy.

We've got a raft of sand.

Let's go.

I can't.

I can't. I can't.

I'm sorry. I have to go.

Wait, wait.

God, I hope I live to regret this.

Take the motherfucker.

Shot my partner.

Don't miss.

You.

Okay.

Get her to a hospital.

Sure. Yeah.

Oh god, that's a lot of blood.

At least it's not a stick shift, am I right?

Sorry. Bleeding to death. Right.

You always did fight dirty.

Sherry!

Looks like I finally found a way to make you feel something, huh?

Hey, asshole.

Feel this

Nate?

Hey, Nate?

Hi

Nate

Hey

Nate

Hi

Hey

Sherry

I love you

You're really cool

No, no, no, no, no

Hey

Help, we're over here, please

I'm so sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna have to let you know.

Hey, hey, there he is.

How you feeling, bud?

What happened?

Well, you've had some major blood loss.

Ah.

And a heart attack.

And a brain hemorrhage.

And third degree burns.

And a lot of broken bones.

But you're okay now.

It's a Christmas miracle.

It's Christmas?

It's actually January 11th.

You've been in a medically induced coma.

But still, you're alive!

Hey, Sherry, is she okay?

Don't worry. Sherry's fine. She's okay.

Oh, we meet again.

Hey, look who's up.

Yep.

You look, um, brave.

I'm glad you're up because I just came from the courthouse.

You know, you're looking at some pretty serious charges here.

Manslaughter, breaking and entering, grand theft auto.

Yeah, those, those sound really bad.

Yeah, they are.

There's enough here to lock you up until you're twice my age.

Uh-huh.

But you did save a cop's life,

and you also had some pretty persuasive character witnesses.

Also, you're a white guy who works for a bank,

so the judge took it easy on you.

Six months house arrest, five years probation.

Get a lawyer to look at that, but it's a pretty good deal.

I almost forgot the best part.

This is from Grace, my daughter.

Take care, Nate.

Thank you, detective.

Detective.

Are you looking at the hand?

Oh, the hand? Oh, you mean your burnt-up, crisped-up hand?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's jarring, for sure.

Is it the worst part?

I just think, like, they shouldn't have to dress it up all sexy, like in fishnets.

It's a skid graft.

Look, I, I would get a glove.

Uh, personally.

Prepare for pain.

Haha, this guy must not know who he's dealing with.

Okay, cast Toxic Cloud. I'm equipping the Blackstone armor. I'm going in.

Oh, hey, you're coming on Saturday, right? It's a big birthday for me.

Yeah, man. Wait, it's not, it's not at a biker bar, is it?

Oh, fuck you.

Yeah, man, of course I'm gonna be there.

Oh. Oh, shit.

Dude, just hold it for a couple more minutes.

This guy's almost dead.

No, dude, uh, it's not that.

I actually have to get ready for the dinner.

Wow. You're ditching me to go on a date.

I know, I know. It's very cute and adorable,

and I will make this up to you later.

Goodbye.

Hey, uh...

can't believe it's been a year since our first date.

I am so happy I tried the pie.

Me, too.

And hey, you even wore your tie.

Yeah, you noticed. Yeah.

Took the dry cleaners a while to get the blood stains out,

but, um, you know, they managed.

They did a good job.

Oh, wait, um...

Sorry, I almost forgot.

You finally figured out the ending.

Felt kind of weird to have the knight rescuing the damsel.

So I had them, you know, kind of saving each other.

It's perfect.

Hey! Button that shirt up! This ain't no conjugal visit, man.

Oh, sorry. No, this isn't like a sex thing. This is...

Uh-huh. Okay. Yep. Got it.

And I know that's not an open flame I'm seeing.

Nope. It's not.

Don't play with me.

I'm not trying to play with you, sir.

Just shh. Is he new?

Uh, no.

He's intense.

Yeah.

He's really intense.

Yeah, they're strict here. It's jail.

Inmate 241, time's up.

That was a tight 15 minutes, huh?

Yeah. At least we only have to put up with it for another eight months.

Yeah, seven months, 19 days, but who's counting?

Matt, don't make me come over there.

You're gonna get me in trouble, I'm sorry.

Hey, he's so intense.

I know, I gotta go.

Okay.

I'll, uh, see you soon, Nova Kane.

You