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1
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,482
♪ If there's an ocean,
it's just a puddle
2
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,351
♪ That I've got
to get across
3
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:20,388
♪ Any mountain
I'll climb over
4
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,591
♪ Like a kid
on the monkey bars
5
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,594
♪ I know you're out
there somewhere
6
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,697
♪ I know you'll miss me
just like I miss you
7
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,600
♪ No matter what
I'll get there
8
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,269
♪ And you know
I'll never stop
9
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:38,906
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
10
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,242
♪ I'm gonna run to you
11
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:44,712
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
12
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,781
♪ I'm gonna run to you
13
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:51,119
♪ You know I'll find you
I'm never far behind you
14
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,454
♪ I swear these words
are true
15
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:57,057
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
16
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,627
♪ I'm gonna run to you
17
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,896
♪ Every minute
18
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,567
♪ I'm getting closer
I'm gonna show you
19
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,272
♪ Any second
I'll run through that door
20
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:15,042
♪ Here I come, yeah!
21
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,611
♪ Oh, here I come
22
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:21,249
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
23
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,551
♪ I'm gonna run to you
24
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:27,087
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
25
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,823
♪ I'm gonna run to you
26
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,598
Guess what, Charlie?
27
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,333
We're one day away from going on
your first trip on an airplane
28
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,068
and celebrating
our first Christmas
29
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,070
at Grandma and Grandpa's
new condo in Palm Springs!
30
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,505
You're going to have
so much fun.
31
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,840
No, no, no, Mom, you have
to toddler-proof the place.
32
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,576
Just so long as you
don't touch anything.
33
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,245
No, anything breakable has to be at
least three feet off the ground.
34
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,346
(SHATTERING)
35
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,315
Uh-oh.
36
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,285
Make that four.
I gotta go.
37
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,852
Charlie, get back in here!
38
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,855
No, no, no, stay away,
there's shards everywhere!
39
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,857
Are you eating a cookie
in the living room?
40
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,259
You get back here!
41
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,994
And stay away!
42
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,562
Mom's a little frazzled.
43
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,367
Mom, why are you
so stressed out?
44
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,636
Because this is an extremely
important Christmas.
45
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,004
Why?
46
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,672
Because!
47
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,408
Of...
The...
48
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,178
Because we're going
to Palm Springs!
49
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,614
Why is that more stressful?
50
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,616
You don't have to cook,
you don't have to clean.
51
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,451
You can just
sit out by the pool.
52
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:34,121
At what price, Teddy?
At what price?
53
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,525
What if we lose the things that make
Christmas in Denver so special?
54
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,661
Like the blizzards?
The endless chapped lips?
55
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:45,466
Listening to Mrs. Dabney's
talking Santa go "Ho, ho, ho,"
56
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,402
on an endless, rip-your-
own-eardrums-out loop?
57
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,539
No, I'm talking about
our family traditions!
58
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,140
Mom, I'm pretty sure
Dad's going to overeat
59
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,842
and get heartburn
no matter where we are.
60
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,645
No.
The good traditions!
61
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:02,250
Like making little tree-shaped
pancakes on Christmas morning!
62
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,084
We can do that at Grandma's.
63
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,355
I'm pretty sure flour and eggs
are available nationwide.
64
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,856
Okay. What about...
65
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,860
What about the star?
66
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,061
What?
67
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,297
The star on the tree tradition.
68
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,669
Where your father takes the
littlest Duncan in his arms
69
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,537
and lifts her
high to the heavens,
70
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,940
to crown the tree
with its finest jewel.
71
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,742
That is so not a big deal.
72
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,110
Are you kidding me?
73
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,280
Do you know how important
that is to your sister?
74
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:37,685
Look, Charlie!
It's the star!
75
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,920
And what do we do
with it on Christmas Eve?
76
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:42,923
No, no, no,
we don't eat the star.
77
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,225
(CHUCKLES)
78
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,727
No, no, no,
we do not throw the star.
79
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,928
We are not Christmas ninjas.
80
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,298
See? Not a big deal.
81
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,701
ROBOTIC SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho.
82
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,470
(EXCLAIMS)
It is so cold out there,
83
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,806
I'm pretty sure I saw
a snowman shivering!
84
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,441
PJ, will you tell your sister
85
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:03,444
how important the star on the
Christmas tree tradition is.
86
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,745
The what?
On the what?
87
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,113
(GROANS) Whatever.
88
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,383
Guys, check this out.
89
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,319
Snowmen!
90
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,620
You bought a Christmas swimsuit?
91
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,356
Uh, no, I bought
92
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,460
two Christmas swimsuits.
93
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,462
Well, that was money well spent.
94
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:22,930
I know!
95
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,399
I cannot wait to get
to sunny Palm Springs,
96
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,101
where the only thing that's
frozen are the slushies.
97
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,337
ROBOTIC SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho.
98
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,839
Wow.
That never gets old. Hey!
99
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,143
Look what I got for 30 bucks.
100
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,346
A stroller?
Yeah, a stroller.
101
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,515
And a car seat!
And an airplane seat!
102
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,751
And it's completely convertible!
103
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,918
I press this button right here,
104
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,820
the whole thing retracts.
105
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,725
In theory.
106
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,198
(GRUNTING) Come on!
107
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,305
It was 30 bucks!
(SIGHS)
108
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,274
Will you please tell your kids
109
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,777
how important the star
on the tree tradition is?
110
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,445
Uh, kids, very important.
111
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,947
What is? The thing
that your mom said.
112
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,683
(SIGHS) Whatever.
113
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,919
(GRUNTS)
114
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,489
(SNAPPING)
115
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,526
Ow! Ow!
116
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:37,905
Gabe.
117
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,873
Gabe.
118
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,677
Gabe!
119
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:48,215
What? I'm only 15 levels away from
capturing the Stone of Mitrios.
120
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,917
Galaxy of Death Two
is totally addictive!
121
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,885
(GASPS)
122
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,221
How is it that you're already
playing your Christmas present?
123
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,023
Did I say two?
124
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,428
I meant one.
Galaxy of Death One.
125
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,996
Obviously!
'Cause to play Two,
126
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,198
I would've had to figure out
where you hid the presents,
127
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,067
secretly unwrap mine,
take out the game disk,
128
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,769
rewrap the empty box, and, um...
129
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,105
Have I told you lately
how much I love you?
130
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,744
How important is the star on
the tree tradition to you?
131
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,045
How important
do you want it to be?
132
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,246
Wouldn't be
Christmas without it.
133
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,514
It really wouldn't.
134
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,215
Tell your siblings that?
135
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,752
I'll tell everybody that! I'll call
random strangers and tell them!
136
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,954
Excellent.
137
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,256
Oh. Can I bring my game
system to Grandma's?
138
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,791
No, you may not.
139
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,225
Okay. No big deal.
140
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,027
(GAME RESUMES)
141
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,430
And I will be searching your
luggage before we leave.
142
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,731
Dang it!
143
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:42,570
"If handles do not retract,
apply gentle pressure."
144
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,771
(GRUNTING)
145
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,706
You know, it might be a feature.
146
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,710
Like it's a combination
car-seat-stroller-exercise-machine.
147
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,011
(DOORBELL CHIMES)
148
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,715
Okay, just so you know, Teddy,
149
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:58,786
that star on the tree tradition means
everything to your brother Gabe!
150
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,488
(SNIFFLES)
Where is it?
151
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,058
ROBOTIC SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho.
152
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,761
Can it, Santa!
Hey. Hi, Mr. D.
153
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,597
(GRUNTING) Hey!
154
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,264
Wow. What's going
on in here?
155
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,566
We're going to Palm
Springs for Christmas.
156
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,067
Oh, right!
157
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,138
Two plane rides to exotic
destinations in four months.
158
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,941
You did tell your parents
about Spring Break, right?
159
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,943
We have to book those
tickets by next week.
160
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,745
No, I know! I know! I'm just
waiting for a good time to ask.
161
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,113
Is now a good time?
162
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,749
Really?
163
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,851
I can't find the star, okay?
Umm.
164
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,921
No star!
Christmas is ruined!
165
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,489
(WEEPING)
166
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,258
All right.
Not a good time.
167
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,794
But just remember, if you
don't book that ticket soon,
168
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,830
you're gonna be spending Spring
Break right on that couch.
169
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,898
ROBOTIC SANTA: Ho, ho, ho.
And I'm going out the back.
170
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,302
Oh! Victory!
(WHOOPS)
171
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,704
(CHEERING)
172
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,974
So... Dad.
173
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,443
Daddy-o.
174
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,946
Big D. Don't add to
the stress, kiddo.
175
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,281
Why are you guys so on edge?
176
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,384
And why's Mom freaking out about
that stupid star on the tree?
177
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,120
Honey, because sometimes the
thing that you focus on
178
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,889
isn't the thing that's
causing all the stress.
179
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,958
So what is?
180
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,493
The... Well, it's...
181
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,063
The...
182
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:19,232
The first time
we're spending Christmas
183
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,234
at your grandparents'
new place in Palm Springs.
184
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,670
So?
185
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,404
So...
186
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,074
So, when I married your mom,
187
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,577
your grandmother thought...
188
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,478
Your grandmother
thought I was an idiot
189
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,080
that had ruined
her daughter's life.
190
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,916
This is my chance
to change that impression.
191
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,386
Dad, you've been spending Christmas
with Grandma for 20 years.
192
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,788
And I really think
this is my year.
193
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,156
What?
194
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,659
Oh! Mom, Mom, Mom.
Okay, so...
195
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,761
Ivy and I have this
awesome opportunity!
196
00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:50,598
Her aunt lives in Florida.
On the beach!
197
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,000
And she said that Ivy and I could
stay with her over Spring Break.
198
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,035
Isn't that great?
Yeah, sure.
199
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,104
If you were 23 years old.
200
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,907
Teddy, you are too young to go
across the country without an adult.
201
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,441
Mom, that is so unfair!
202
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:05,178
End of story! We are not spending
another minute discussing this.
203
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,180
TEDDY: But, Mom, you let
me baby-sit Charlie.
204
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,749
AMY: Why are we
still discussing this?
205
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,250
Because it's not right.
206
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,752
You know what's not right?
207
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,421
A 14-hour argument when there's
nothing to argue about.
208
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,089
For the last time, no!
209
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,258
(SNORTS) She thinks that's
going to be the last time.
210
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,627
(LAUGHS)
211
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,261
So I'm old enough to take care
of Charlie but not myself?
212
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,896
Mom, that doesn't
make any sense!
213
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,765
Sweetheart, I'm your mother,
I never make sense.
214
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,533
(SIGHS) Okay,
let me rephrase this.
215
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,268
Please, please, please,
please, please...
216
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:31,772
All right.
Honey, I got this.
217
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,774
Okay, kiddo, I'll tell you what.
218
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,744
If you can be responsible enough
to buy your own plane ticket,
219
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,379
then you are responsible enough
to go to Florida on your own.
220
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,648
Bob!
Dad, that's impossible!
221
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,282
I have to buy the
ticket by next week!
222
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,584
Ooh. Not so easy
being an adult, is it?
223
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,355
See that?
Problem solved.
224
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,293
Oh, no!
225
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,196
Metal detectors!
226
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,132
Relax.
I think you'll make it.
227
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,068
As long as you're not
smuggling anything!
228
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,302
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
229
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,178
Sir, could you please
retract that stroller?
230
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,146
Probably not without
pulling a muscle.
231
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,888
You all right, dude?
You look a little sweaty.
232
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,958
I'm fine. Yeah.
I'm fine. I'm cool.
233
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,195
Come on, son.
234
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,031
(ALARM BLARING)
235
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,200
Code red! Code red!
Hands in the air!
236
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,535
Code red! Code red!
This is a code red!
237
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,070
GUARD: Hang on,
please, don't move.
238
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,639
(LAUGHS)
239
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,375
He is not the wisest man
in the manger, is he?
240
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,813
Who would try to smuggle a game
system without a controller?
241
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,047
(ALARM BLARING)
242
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,617
(EXCLAIMS) Whoa!
243
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,820
How did that get there?
244
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,988
You're a really heavy sleeper.
245
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,794
Okay, you're clear to go.
246
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:04,064
And thank you for the
extremely thorough search.
247
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,367
You guys, our flight leaves
in two minutes! Go! Run!
248
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:11,872
Okay.
249
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,075
Bob! Hurry!
250
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,276
Right behind you!
251
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,614
Okay, honey, you know what?
252
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,218
We're going for a sleigh ride!
253
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,520
♪ I said run, run, Rudolph
254
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,790
♪ Santa's gotta
make it to town
255
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,727
♪ Santa, make him hurry
256
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:36,463
♪ Tell him he can
take the freeway down
257
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,433
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
258
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,936
♪ 'Cause I'm racin'
like a merry go round
259
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,940
♪ Said Santa to a boy child
260
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,542
♪ What have you
been longing for?
261
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,213
♪ All I want for Christmas
262
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,783
♪ Is a rock 'n' roll
electric guitar
263
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,920
♪ And away went Rudolph
264
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:04,057
♪ Whizzing like
a shooting star, yeah
265
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,626
♪ I said run, run, Rudolph
266
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,930
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
267
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,264
♪ Yeah
268
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,133
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
269
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,636
♪ I said run, run, Rudolph
270
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,239
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
271
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,740
(GRUNTS)
272
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,877
You didn't need to do that, sir.
We saw you coming.
273
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,613
♪ Santa Claus
is coming to town ♪
274
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:32,752
Can I buy a headset?
275
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:33,787
Sure.
276
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,224
Look at you.
277
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,160
All that joy, trapped in
a skinny, little box.
278
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,796
Oh, so sad.
279
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,966
Dude. You didn't even
bring the game with you.
280
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,101
(EXCLAIMS)
281
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,270
Yeah, I did.
282
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,538
(GRUNTS)
283
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,642
There. Finally.
284
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,012
It's fine.
We'll leave it up.
285
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,114
Sir, can you put
that handle down?
286
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,182
Can you?
287
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,051
I'll get it.
288
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,120
If I can have your attention.
289
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,956
We are overbooked by one seat.
290
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,291
So we're looking for a volunteer
to take a later flight
291
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,961
in exchange for a free round
trip ticket to any destination.
292
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,628
Me!
293
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,699
What are you doing?
294
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,668
I'm being responsible! For getting
a plane ticket to Spring Break.
295
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,003
I'll be on the next flight out!
296
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,171
Are you going
to let her do that?
297
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,472
Little busy here, honey.
298
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,806
I'll meet you guys
in Palm Springs!
299
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,476
Probably just be
a couple hours behind you.
300
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,644
I have to go with her, right?
Uh-huh.
301
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,716
(SHOUTS) Yes!
302
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,785
There we go!
That's the way to do it!
303
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,121
There you go.
Yeah, baby!
304
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,257
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
305
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,327
Where's your mom?
306
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,197
You know, ma'am, we only
asked for the one volunteer.
307
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,233
You think I'm going to let my daughter
get off the plane by herself?
308
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,535
You want to tell me how to be a parent?
You want to go there?
309
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,371
No, ma'am.
No, I don't.
310
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,874
Here's your free ticket.
311
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,243
And let's see about
getting both of you
312
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,045
on the next available flight.
313
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,114
Which is...
314
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,150
...in three days.
What?
315
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,419
Okay, Mom, I am going to show
you how responsible I am.
316
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,254
Okay?
Let me handle this.
317
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:18,258
You don't really mean
three days, do you?
318
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,659
Yes, I do.
319
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,861
That's the next flight
that isn't fully booked.
320
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,063
It is the holidays.
321
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,233
But it won't be in three days.
322
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:30,070
That's December 26th.
Christmas will be over.
323
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,172
I'm sorry.
It's the best we can do.
324
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,373
Oh.
325
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,909
I think we can do better.
326
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:39,579
Ma'am, are you telling
me how to do my job?
327
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,381
Do you want to go there?
328
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,584
Oh, yeah.
I want to go there.
329
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,923
Guys, guys, put me down.
Put me down!
330
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:52,960
Really very unnecessary!
331
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,427
Mom, you shouldn't have hit her.
332
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:58,065
I didn't hit her! I was
gesturing for emphasis.
333
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,799
Mom, you gestured her
right in the nose!
334
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,435
What's gotten into you?
335
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:06,539
Teddy, we're 1000 miles from Palm
Springs and we can't get a flight!
336
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,874
We're going to miss Christmas!
337
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,609
Mom, Mom, Mom, don't freak out!
338
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,544
I will find a way to
get us to Palm Springs.
339
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,912
How?
340
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,281
Well...
341
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,150
Wait for it.
342
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,621
Bus!
343
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,756
I could've thought of that.
344
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,164
Well, Charlie, here we are,
on our luxury motor coach.
345
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:34,834
For our brief, 18-hour
ride to Palm Springs.
346
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,803
Too bad the video can't
quite capture the smell.
347
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,638
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
348
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:42,042
Look, someone brought livestock!
Is that even legal?
349
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,613
TEDDY: Look, Charlie,
we found you a boyfriend.
350
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,450
That might have been
my last video diary.
351
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,929
Yes! This is what
I've always wanted, man.
352
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,297
An 80 degree Christmas.
353
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,765
Man, this is beautiful.
354
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,535
Hey, honey. Honey?
Where are you?
355
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,104
On a bus.
But don't worry,
356
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:14,674
we'll be there in
just 18 short hours!
357
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,477
You're gonna leave me alone
with your mother for 18 hours?
358
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,280
Well, honey, my dad's there.
359
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,781
Form an alliance with him.
360
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,617
And just keep her focused on the kids.
She loves them.
361
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,986
Oh, my gosh. I think
my seat has bedbugs!
362
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,622
He's taking the chickens out of the cage!
I gotta go! Bye!
363
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,058
He's what... Honey?
364
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,660
Honey?
365
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,162
What's the matter, Dad?
366
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,896
Your mom's delayed
367
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,699
and the chickens are out of the
cages, whatever that means.
368
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,369
All right, guys.
One rule.
369
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,572
Do not leave me alone
in a room with Grandma.
370
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,507
I heard that.
Oh, hey!
371
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,709
GABE: Grandma!
372
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,744
(SIGHING)
373
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:55,548
Oh! My little angels!
374
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,850
Hi!
375
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,886
Gramps!
How you doing?
376
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,691
Okay.
377
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:08,661
(GASPS) Sweet Charlie!
Look how you've grown!
378
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,663
Who wants a mint?
379
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,665
Hey, Hank!
How are you?
380
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,535
Well, I only got half a kidney
left, but I'm still here.
381
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,438
Mint?
Okay.
382
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,341
Where's my daughter and Teddy?
383
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,511
Um, they're on a bus.
384
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,047
You couldn't kill enough bugs to
pay for two extra plane tickets?
385
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,283
Zing!
Good one, Grandma!
386
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,451
In your face!
387
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,752
Petunia, it's just
a little mix-up.
388
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,421
They're gonna be here tomorrow.
389
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:38,625
All aboard! Next stop, Fountain
of Youth Condominiums.
390
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:42,162
Wow. Grandpa, how'd you
get an antique like this?
391
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,797
I bought it new.
392
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,806
This could be fun!
393
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,974
Right?
394
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:59,078
Look, I bought magazines
at the bus station.
395
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,448
Yeah, I'm not really
up for reading right now.
396
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,082
Oh, don't worry, these
are fashion magazines.
397
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,617
They don't require
any reading at all!
398
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,286
Mmm.
399
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,758
You okay?
You look a little green.
400
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,261
Yeah, I think I'm getting
a little carsick.
401
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,895
Can I borrow your bag?
402
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,764
Let me just take the magazines...
(RETCHES)
403
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,267
...out.
404
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,335
Oh, that is...
Not over yet!
405
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,803
(RETCHES)
406
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,407
Wow, Mom.
407
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,676
That's a really harsh
review of the spring line.
408
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,919
PJ: Goodbye,
freezing snowmen,
409
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,823
hello smoking-hot
granddaughters.
410
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,592
Their mothers aren't bad either!
411
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,760
Oh, hey!
412
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,329
By the way, speaking of hot,
413
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,831
make sure you wear your sunblock.
The sun here is brutal.
414
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,333
Do they make holiday sunblock?
415
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,134
One that smells like
eggnog instead of coconut?
416
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,471
Do you know what
he's talking about?
417
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,972
Not at all.
418
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,475
His brain works
differently than ours do.
419
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,947
(CHUCKLES) Come on in.
420
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,516
Kiddie suite to the left.
421
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,150
To the left,
kiddie suite to the left.
422
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,819
Don't touch the pillow mints.
423
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,521
They're for later.
424
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,690
All right.
425
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,693
You know, Charlie's at a
pretty rambunctious age.
426
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,729
I mean, you, uh...
427
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,897
You did child-proof
the place, right?
428
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,733
Of course!
Everything's been put away
429
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,535
except the
Christmas decorations.
430
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:31,204
Just keep her away from the
low-hanging tree ornaments.
431
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:35,242
And my antique nativity scene.
432
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,645
And especially Santa's reindeer.
433
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,749
It's priceless. They haven't
made one like that in 50 years.
434
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,116
Santa!
435
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,420
Oh! No, no! No!
No, no, no.
436
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:51,758
(LAUGHS) No!
No, no, no, no.
437
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,261
Any chance we could
put this stuff away?
438
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,497
Don't be ridiculous! Just
tell her not to touch them.
439
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,866
You did have kids once, right?
440
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,269
Yes.
Ours were well-behaved
441
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,537
because we knew
how to parent them.
442
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,706
Okay.
443
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,743
(AMY RETCHING)
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
444
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,412
Hey, Mom, you okay?
445
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,181
Just peachy, sweetheart...
(RETCHING)
446
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,785
Okay, 'cause somebody's been
waiting for over an hour.
447
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,753
You probably wouldn't want
to go in there anyway.
448
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,722
(TOILET FLUSHING)
449
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,491
(EXCLAIMS) Hold the phone!
450
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,632
Keep her away from my chickens.
451
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,335
(MUTTERING)
452
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,206
(AMY SIGHS)
That mountain air is nice.
453
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,774
Shouldn't we be
finding a doctor?
454
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,810
I'm fine! I was just
a little carsick.
455
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:47,246
(SCOFFS) That's like calling World
War II just a little disagreement.
456
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,249
Oh, look at you, staying
awake during history class.
457
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,984
Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry,
458
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,420
but I can't let you
back on the bus.
459
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,788
The other passengers
refuse to travel with you.
460
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,123
What?
461
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,060
Okay. Listen, people,
462
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,129
I didn't want to get on this
stinking bus in the first place!
463
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,433
Ah, you think that's funny?
464
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,636
Mom, you might
want to be careful.
465
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,271
The chickens are getting
into their fighting position.
466
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:15,608
So what I think my mom
is trying to express
467
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,610
is it's a little bit unfair
that you're letting
468
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,580
the chicken man
on the bus, but not us.
469
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,115
Yeah, but the chickens aren't
grossing everybody out.
470
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,250
(EXCLAIMS)
471
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,419
Okay, bus jockey,
here's how it's gonna go.
472
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:30,122
You are going to let us on this luxury
motor coach or it is going to get ugly.
473
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,193
(AMY GRUMBLING)
474
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,595
Just let it go, ma'am.
475
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,430
For the last time,
I didn't hit anybody.
476
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,333
Yeah, I know. You were just
gesturing for emphasis.
477
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,268
Is there a train station
around here?
478
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,271
Oh, yeah, sure.
Historical society runs it.
479
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,641
Of course, there hasn't been an actual
train there since the late 1800s.
480
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,478
Butch Cassidy robbed it once!
481
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,946
Oh. How about
a rental car place?
482
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:57,550
Maybe try Lenny's. Just up
the hill about eight miles.
483
00:21:57,584 --> 00:22:00,720
I'd take you there myself,
but rush hour's starting
484
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:03,623
and someone's gotta
turn on the traffic light.
485
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,525
But don't worry,
you start walking now,
486
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,959
you'll make it there by sundown.
487
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,728
(SOBBING)
488
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,630
We're gonna miss Christmas.
489
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:14,834
No, no, Mom. No, we're not!
It's just eight miles!
490
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,738
And then, like, another 800.
491
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:22,642
Going to be after sundown if you
can't walk and cry at the same time.
492
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,144
How about you show
a little compassion, mister?
493
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,980
Come on.
Oh, this stinks!
494
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:31,418
Who says I can't walk and cry
at the same time. You watch me!
495
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:34,220
(WAILING)
496
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:36,322
I bet your father's
warm and dry,
497
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,025
and probably snuggled up on
the couch with the kids,
498
00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:41,193
watching a sweet,
little Christmas movie.
499
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,295
(ROARING)
500
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,301
Oh!
501
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,077
(ROARING)
502
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,780
(FOOTSTEPS THUMPING)
503
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:15,995
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
504
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,507
(SCREECHING)
505
00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:46,959
No!
506
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:13,620
No! No! No! No!
507
00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:17,389
No! No!
508
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,596
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
509
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,431
Bob!
510
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,867
What are you doing
with my reindeer?
511
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,436
Bad Daddy.
512
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,906
Good girl, Charlie. At least
someone knows how to behave.
513
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,848
(TOILET FLUSHING)
514
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:50,122
Hey, there!
Why the glum look?
515
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:51,991
Here, have a mint.
516
00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:55,161
Thanks, Grandpa.
517
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,329
I'm just all ripped up inside.
518
00:24:57,363 --> 00:24:59,566
I lost my best friend today.
519
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:03,035
Oh, I'm so sorry, kiddo.
520
00:25:03,069 --> 00:25:05,572
Oh! What was his name?
521
00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:08,675
Z-Station Deluxe
Home Gaming System.
522
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:11,544
Oh. Heck,
I got one of those.
523
00:25:11,578 --> 00:25:12,912
What?
524
00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:16,148
Oh, you're the greatest grandpa
in the history of grandpas!
525
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,550
So what games do you have?
526
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:18,785
Golf.
527
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,520
And?
528
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:22,755
What more would I need?
529
00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:26,525
Oh, Grandpa,
put down your putter.
530
00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:30,029
There's a whole other
world out there.
531
00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:33,099
Allow me to introduce you to
the work of Chuck Jablowsky,
532
00:25:33,132 --> 00:25:36,603
one of the greatest video game
designers in human history.
533
00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:40,272
"Galaxy of Death Two"?
534
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:42,208
What's that got to do with golf?
535
00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:45,311
(CHUCKLES)
Absolutely nothing.
536
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:47,880
(AMY CRYING)
537
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,488
Mom, if you cry any louder
you'll trigger an avalanche.
538
00:25:57,489 --> 00:26:00,059
It's Christmas Eve eve, Teddy.
539
00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:02,261
I want to be with my baby.
540
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:04,230
And my other babies.
541
00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:05,932
And my big daddy baby.
542
00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:07,533
Mom, I will get us there!
543
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,202
I will, but you've
got to chill out.
544
00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:12,438
'Cause every five minutes,
you're either punching somebody
545
00:26:12,471 --> 00:26:15,274
or bursting into tears.
546
00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:17,910
Hey, what was with that
star-on-the-tree freak-out yesterday?
547
00:26:17,944 --> 00:26:19,245
Well, that...
548
00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:21,614
Look, it's Lenny's!
549
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:27,754
We walked eight miles for that?
550
00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:30,957
(SOBBING)
551
00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:38,097
Hey.
552
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,733
Hi!
You must be Lenny.
553
00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,968
Nope. I'm Daryl.
554
00:26:42,635 --> 00:26:44,236
Are you sure about that?
555
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,706
Yeah, I bought Lenny out.
556
00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:49,676
This came with the place.
557
00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:52,611
I thought I'd keep the name
for marketing purposes.
558
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:56,015
Plus the jumpsuit fit.
559
00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:59,151
Well, sort of. Lenny's
kind of got monkey arms.
560
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,288
Do you rent cars, by any chance?
561
00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:03,823
Let me think.
562
00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:06,292
No.
563
00:27:06,325 --> 00:27:08,127
Y'all need a ride somewhere?
564
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,428
Palm Springs.
565
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,430
Oh, that's a skooch
out of my way.
566
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,600
Well, do you know any place
we can rent a car?
567
00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:16,035
Well, if you take
this road right here,
568
00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:18,604
and you go about 600 miles
you'll hit Las Vegas.
569
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,172
(WHINING)
570
00:27:20,873 --> 00:27:22,641
Aw.
571
00:27:22,675 --> 00:27:24,376
You in a tough spot, hon?
572
00:27:24,410 --> 00:27:26,445
(SQUEAKILY) Mmm-hmm.
573
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:28,147
Tell you what,
574
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:30,616
I do have an old Yugo
I could sell you.
575
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,051
A Yugo?
Mmm-hmm.
576
00:27:32,084 --> 00:27:34,620
What's a Yugo?
577
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:37,957
It's a car that's
10 years older than you,
578
00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:41,160
built in a country
that no longer exists.
579
00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:42,428
It's 50 bucks.
580
00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:44,596
BOTH: We'll take it.
581
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:51,904
Okay, 50 bucks.
Yup, worth every penny.
582
00:27:51,938 --> 00:27:53,372
Every penny.
583
00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:58,911
Now, you might want
to baby her a little.
584
00:27:58,945 --> 00:28:00,112
She's seen better days.
585
00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:02,248
When?
586
00:28:02,281 --> 00:28:05,351
Hey, Daryl, are you sure it won't
fall apart at 60 miles an hour?
587
00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:08,755
Oh, don't worry, she won't
go near that speed.
588
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,323
(METAL CREAKING)
589
00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:12,759
Good luck!
590
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,928
Oh, if you're gonna
use the radio,
591
00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:17,897
you're gonna need this.
592
00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:26,105
I got you!
I got you!
593
00:28:27,606 --> 00:28:29,108
(GRUNTS)
594
00:28:30,777 --> 00:28:33,079
Oh, they got me!
595
00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:35,181
Yes! You're dead!
Can I play now?
596
00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:37,750
No, it's too late!
I respawned.
597
00:28:37,784 --> 00:28:39,585
Grandpa, that's not fair!
598
00:28:39,618 --> 00:28:41,620
Let me just level up again!
599
00:28:41,653 --> 00:28:43,856
You've been saying
that for two hours!
600
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:45,591
I'm starting to worry about you!
601
00:28:45,624 --> 00:28:47,927
This is really unhealthy.
602
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,962
You love your grandpa, right?
603
00:28:49,996 --> 00:28:51,898
Of course I do.
604
00:28:51,931 --> 00:28:54,566
Then tell me how to
get past the Plains of Fire.
605
00:28:55,601 --> 00:28:57,103
Who do I have to take out first,
606
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:59,505
the guys in the Tower of Doom,
or the ones on the ground?
607
00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:04,243
Neither.
608
00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:06,779
You sneak around the ridge
and attack from behind.
609
00:29:06,813 --> 00:29:09,748
Plus there's an extra
power-up behind that boulder.
610
00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:12,418
You're a good boy.
Take a mint.
611
00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:13,853
No, I'm good.
612
00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:18,290
Honey. Come on,
don't you want to find out
613
00:29:18,324 --> 00:29:19,691
what happened at
the hippos' picnic?
614
00:29:20,192 --> 00:29:21,327
No!
615
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,095
Well, you can't
expect her to love books
616
00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:25,164
if you never read
to her at home.
617
00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:26,899
I read to her all the time.
618
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:28,100
Nuh-uh!
619
00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:36,142
Wow, I met so many
hot babes at the pool.
620
00:29:36,175 --> 00:29:38,544
Literally, it's, like,
110 degrees out there.
621
00:29:39,645 --> 00:29:40,913
What happened to you?
622
00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:42,681
I fell asleep at the pool
for a few hours.
623
00:29:42,714 --> 00:29:44,951
But don't worry,
I was wearing this.
624
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:51,023
PJ, this isn't sunblock.
This is suntan oil!
625
00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,491
What's the difference?
626
00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,126
One protects your skin
from the harmful rays,
627
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,096
the other fries you
like a wonton.
628
00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,466
Oh. No wonder I was
feeling a little crispy.
629
00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:02,935
You've just been raising
yourself, haven't you?
630
00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:04,803
You want to come live with us?
631
00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:08,140
(LAUGHING)
632
00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:12,444
Way to get in the Christmas
spirit, Santa Claus!
633
00:30:12,478 --> 00:30:13,645
(GROANS)
634
00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:15,848
Gabe!
635
00:30:15,882 --> 00:30:18,817
Sorry. Know what will
make that feel better?
636
00:30:18,851 --> 00:30:20,386
A nice, hot shower.
637
00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:21,653
Really?
Yeah.
638
00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:23,689
The ignorance!
639
00:30:23,722 --> 00:30:26,125
It's like you've been
raised by wolves!
640
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:27,226
Fat wolves.
641
00:30:28,694 --> 00:30:31,697
Man, first I was freezing,
now I'm burning up.
642
00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:33,432
This is not the
vacation I dreamed of.
643
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:35,767
(GLASS SHATTERING)
644
00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:38,104
(EXCLAIMS)
645
00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:43,042
(SIGHS) Me neither.
646
00:30:47,613 --> 00:30:50,549
This should be a good
place for a time-out.
647
00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:52,584
(CHUCKLES) I don't think
Charlie needs a time-out.
648
00:30:52,618 --> 00:30:54,820
Of course not!
She's an angel!
649
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,555
I'm talking about you.
650
00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:59,926
Now you just sit there
651
00:30:59,959 --> 00:31:04,063
and think about what it
means to be a good parent.
652
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,265
You want to make
cookies with Grandma?
653
00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:07,799
Yay!
Yay!
654
00:31:11,037 --> 00:31:12,271
Bad Daddy.
655
00:31:13,239 --> 00:31:14,440
No cookies.
656
00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:20,479
Oh, this is not happening.
657
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,788
This is happening.
658
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:35,061
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
659
00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:42,268
What are you doing?
660
00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:44,971
I think it helps
if we lean forward.
661
00:31:45,004 --> 00:31:47,373
Is there any way we can
go around the mountains?
662
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:51,110
Oh, sure, honey. Just take a left
at Mexico and swing back around.
663
00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:53,712
Sweetie, would you turn
the headlights on?
664
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,547
They are on.
No, they're not.
665
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:58,217
Then we don't have any.
666
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,952
Great. Let me check
the owner's manual.
667
00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,421
(COUGHS)
668
00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:10,429
Ah. What's Serbian
for "headlight"?
669
00:32:11,964 --> 00:32:13,599
Are you sure you don't
want me to drive?
670
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:15,767
No. I can handle it.
671
00:32:15,801 --> 00:32:17,269
I'm a responsible adult,
672
00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,138
who can go on Spring Break
673
00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:21,507
without another responsible
adult, because I am one.
674
00:32:21,974 --> 00:32:23,609
Myself.
675
00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:25,144
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
676
00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:30,582
Hi, honey!
How's your vacation?
677
00:32:30,616 --> 00:32:32,151
Your mother
locked me in a bedroom.
678
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:33,252
Oh, what did you do?
679
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,254
I didn't do anything!
680
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,823
(SIGHS) When are you
going to get here?
681
00:32:37,856 --> 00:32:39,825
Uh, well, at the
speed we're going,
682
00:32:39,858 --> 00:32:41,427
I'd say Groundhog Day.
683
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,762
(SIGHS)
Please hurry.
684
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,665
Honey, I'm doing the best I can.
We're in a Yugo.
685
00:32:46,698 --> 00:32:49,935
No, no, they're not
still making those.
686
00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:52,171
Do you speak Serbian?
No, wait...
687
00:32:52,204 --> 00:32:54,306
Maybe it's Croatian.
688
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:56,808
You want the kids to translate
it on the Internet?
689
00:32:56,842 --> 00:32:59,378
I suppose I could yell at
them through a heating duct.
690
00:32:59,411 --> 00:33:03,149
The kids! Are they having a good time?
Where are they?
691
00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:06,685
Uh, Charlie's with your mom.
Gabe's with your dad.
692
00:33:06,718 --> 00:33:09,121
And...
(PJ SCREAMING)
693
00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:12,024
Well, sounds like PJ
just got in the shower.
694
00:33:12,058 --> 00:33:13,992
Oh! Mom!
The road's leveling out.
695
00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:17,229
Oh, oh! Gotta go! We're kicking it
up to 10 miles an hour! Love you!
696
00:33:17,263 --> 00:33:18,664
No, no, no. Don't...
697
00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:21,067
(SIGHING)
698
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,568
Look!
699
00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,504
Oh! What a relief.
700
00:33:25,537 --> 00:33:28,607
Okay, it's all downhill
from here. Literally.
701
00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:38,550
Oh. Uh, you can
slow down a little bit.
702
00:33:38,584 --> 00:33:39,718
Yeah, I'm trying.
703
00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:41,420
Whoa, whoa, slow down.
I can't!
704
00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:43,089
Put your foot on the brake!
It's the one on the left!
705
00:33:43,122 --> 00:33:44,523
I know!
It's not working!
706
00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,158
Okay, okay, don't panic!
707
00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:47,593
I'm not panicking!
708
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:48,960
(SCREAMING)
709
00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:55,901
Okay. Okay. Remember you
are an excellent driver.
710
00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:57,569
You really think so?
711
00:33:57,603 --> 00:34:00,406
Right this second, I think it's
very important that you think so.
712
00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:04,610
(TIRES SCREECHING)
713
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:06,912
Okay. Okay.
714
00:34:06,945 --> 00:34:08,247
Try the parking brake!
715
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,481
Oh, great.
716
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:12,084
Uh, here you go.
717
00:34:12,118 --> 00:34:13,585
What am I supposed
to do with this?
718
00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:15,053
Beat Lenny to a pulp with it!
719
00:34:15,087 --> 00:34:16,255
His name is Daryl!
720
00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,258
Okay.
721
00:34:19,291 --> 00:34:21,493
On the bright side,
it's not snowing.
722
00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:26,632
Oh, why did you
have to say that?
723
00:34:26,665 --> 00:34:28,900
I'm sorry!
724
00:34:28,934 --> 00:34:30,636
Turn the windshield wipers on!
725
00:34:32,138 --> 00:34:36,142
Really?
Oh, this is so intense!
726
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,044
Oh, I can barely see!
727
00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,447
Oh. Oh. Look, I see
a light up ahead!
728
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,948
Oh, my gosh!
Two lights!
729
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,384
They're headlights!
730
00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:47,253
(HORN BLARING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
731
00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:51,290
Okay, okay.
Don't panic!
732
00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,592
When the road levels out,
we'll coast to a stop.
733
00:34:53,625 --> 00:34:54,993
When will that be?
734
00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,295
Three, maybe four.
735
00:34:56,328 --> 00:34:57,796
Miles?
Hours.
736
00:35:03,969 --> 00:35:05,537
(SNORING)
737
00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:16,515
(HANK PLAYING VIDEO GAME)
738
00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:19,017
HANK: Bang! Bang, you're dead!
I got you!
739
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:24,556
Bang!
Got you again!
740
00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:29,828
Grandpa!
Five more minutes!
741
00:35:30,662 --> 00:35:32,431
Did you play all night?
742
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:36,602
Yeah, except I took a pee
break from 4:00 to 4:45.
743
00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:39,271
Then I got stuck in the
Wastelands of Gorlion,
744
00:35:39,305 --> 00:35:41,607
had to go online
to find a walkthrough.
745
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,710
Now I'm doing multiplayer
with some kids in Korea.
746
00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:47,546
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
747
00:35:49,415 --> 00:35:51,417
Grandpa, I can't let
you go on like this.
748
00:35:53,185 --> 00:35:55,654
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
749
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,094
It's for your own good.
750
00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:11,002
Have a mint?
751
00:36:13,205 --> 00:36:15,274
Grandpa, no! Grandpa!
752
00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:22,881
Grandpa's lost his mind!
753
00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:27,253
Well, that's one more thing he
and Grandma have in common.
754
00:36:27,286 --> 00:36:29,154
Are those mints in your hair?
755
00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,889
And up my nose.
756
00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:34,092
Come here.
I'm starving.
757
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:35,294
What?
758
00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:40,932
Really? Oh.
759
00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:44,135
Oh, this is
actually not too bad.
760
00:36:50,909 --> 00:36:52,411
(ROOSTER CALLING)
761
00:36:52,444 --> 00:36:54,580
Hey, wake up, wake up.
We're burning daylight.
762
00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:56,882
I had the worst dream.
763
00:36:58,817 --> 00:37:01,253
No. It's real.
764
00:37:01,287 --> 00:37:02,921
Let me get my seat up.
765
00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:04,456
I'll help.
766
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:11,297
Don't break the car.
767
00:37:11,330 --> 00:37:13,265
I'm not going to break the car!
Don't be ridiculous!
768
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:20,906
There you are.
Thanks.
769
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,645
We can fix that.
770
00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:45,764
But probably not that.
771
00:37:45,797 --> 00:37:48,099
(HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO)
772
00:37:48,133 --> 00:37:50,636
On the bright side,
the radio still works.
773
00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:53,705
Not the time.
774
00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:02,348
Well, that's the last of it.
775
00:38:04,049 --> 00:38:07,319
And here's the luggage
that was in the trunk.
776
00:38:08,053 --> 00:38:10,155
I think it was the trunk.
777
00:38:10,188 --> 00:38:13,492
It was a hatchback.
Thank you, Walter.
778
00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:16,294
Oh, I'm not Walter.
I'm Lenny.
779
00:38:16,328 --> 00:38:17,663
I bought Walter out.
780
00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:22,834
Oh, yeah.
He was kind of Hobbit-sized.
781
00:38:22,868 --> 00:38:24,870
Hey, did you have
another garage before that?
782
00:38:24,903 --> 00:38:26,104
Yeah, that you sold to...
783
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,273
Daryl! Yeah!
784
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,941
You ever thought of
keeping the jumpsuits,
785
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:31,677
just switching the name patches?
786
00:38:33,545 --> 00:38:36,382
Never mind. Do you know
how we can get to, um,
787
00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:39,351
anywhere from here?
788
00:38:39,385 --> 00:38:41,653
Oh. Gee, I don't know.
789
00:38:41,687 --> 00:38:43,555
Hitchhike, I guess.
790
00:38:43,589 --> 00:38:44,923
Good luck!
791
00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:48,226
We are not hitchhiking!
792
00:38:52,564 --> 00:38:54,800
Well, Charlie, here we are,
793
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,735
a typical Christmas Eve Day.
794
00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:59,304
Somewhere in the desert.
I think it's Utah.
795
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:00,506
Who cares?
796
00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:02,007
Oh! And here's Mom.
797
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,242
She's doing
a great job not crying
798
00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:06,144
over what a terrible
Christmas we're having.
799
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:07,479
(CRYING)
800
00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:10,582
And she's off.
801
00:39:10,616 --> 00:39:13,385
Gosh, at this rate, we'll
make Las Vegas by lunchtime.
802
00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:15,654
Oh, golly, I'd sure like that!
803
00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:18,256
Mom, Mom. Did you hear that?
They're going to Las Vegas!
804
00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:20,426
If we can get a ride with them,
we can rent a car there!
805
00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:23,094
Teddy, read my lips.
We're not hitchhiking.
806
00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:24,763
Mom, it's only hitchhiking
if they're strangers.
807
00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:26,197
They are strangers.
808
00:39:26,231 --> 00:39:27,633
They won't be as soon as
we buy them breakfast!
809
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:33,572
Hello. Hi!
810
00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:36,207
Hi, I'm Teddy Duncan,
and this is my mom...
811
00:39:39,110 --> 00:39:41,046
This is my mom, Amy.
812
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:43,449
Howdy.
Sue and Stan McKinney.
813
00:39:43,482 --> 00:39:44,716
Nice to meet you.
814
00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,518
Would you mind if we
share the booth with you?
815
00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:48,253
We don't want to be
taking up too much space
816
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:49,588
once this place gets crowded.
817
00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:51,322
They get a big breakfast rush.
818
00:39:56,428 --> 00:39:57,796
We could just squeeze in here.
Yeah.
819
00:39:57,829 --> 00:39:59,130
That'll probably be good.
820
00:39:59,164 --> 00:40:00,799
Yeah.
Squeezey.
821
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,436
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
822
00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:07,539
So, couldn't help overhearing,
you guys are headed to Vegas.
823
00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:09,340
What a coincidence!
We're going to Palm Springs!
824
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,443
How's that a coincidence?
825
00:40:12,277 --> 00:40:14,279
Excellent question, Stan.
826
00:40:14,312 --> 00:40:17,115
Um, see, we were heading to Vegas
because we need to rent a car.
827
00:40:17,148 --> 00:40:18,550
Because ours broke,
828
00:40:18,584 --> 00:40:21,252
literally, into
thousands of pieces.
829
00:40:21,286 --> 00:40:25,457
Which Lenny, uh... You'd think he was
Walter, but he's actually Lenny...
830
00:40:25,491 --> 00:40:27,125
And he's not Daryl, either.
831
00:40:27,158 --> 00:40:29,127
You might think that Daryl was Lenny,
but really Daryl's just the new Lenny,
832
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,430
and Lenny's Walter. But really
he's just... He's Lenny.
833
00:40:32,464 --> 00:40:35,433
And so anyway, Lenny had to shovel
our car out of the parking lot.
834
00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:36,868
(LAUGHS)
835
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:41,507
Why don't we order?
It's a great idea.
836
00:40:41,540 --> 00:40:45,276
Okay, uh, I'm gonna have six eggs,
scrambled, side of bacon, side of sausage.
837
00:40:45,310 --> 00:40:46,978
Links or patties?
Both.
838
00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,147
Uh, with pancakes.
839
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:50,916
Regular or silver dollar?
840
00:40:50,949 --> 00:40:55,654
Um, both, uh, with waffles, uh, plus
French toast, and regular toast.
841
00:40:55,687 --> 00:40:58,590
Oh, white, whole wheat, or...
I want all the toast.
842
00:40:58,624 --> 00:41:02,360
Uh, then I'll have some ham, Canadian
bacon, a bear claw, couple of donuts.
843
00:41:02,393 --> 00:41:05,664
Ooh, coffee cake
and, uh, a fruit cup.
844
00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:07,666
And, um, cottage cheese.
845
00:41:07,699 --> 00:41:11,469
Low fat, watching my figure.
(CHUCKLES)
846
00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:21,146
TEDDY: So, what brings
you two to Vegas?
847
00:41:21,179 --> 00:41:23,782
We're headed to a convention, the A.
A. S. N.
848
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,383
Oh, great, great, super, yeah.
849
00:41:25,416 --> 00:41:28,386
We're just hoping to get back to our
loved ones in time for Christmas.
850
00:41:28,419 --> 00:41:30,689
Are you going to eat that?
851
00:41:30,722 --> 00:41:32,924
That's my napkin.
Yeah, but there's jelly on it.
852
00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:39,565
As we were saying, uh, we're afraid that
if we don't make it to Vegas today,
853
00:41:39,598 --> 00:41:42,333
we'll be stranded,
alone in the desert,
854
00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:44,870
on this most precious
of holidays.
855
00:41:44,903 --> 00:41:46,204
Gee willikers!
You're in a pickle!
856
00:41:46,237 --> 00:41:47,505
Yeah, yeah, we sure are.
857
00:41:47,539 --> 00:41:49,074
We're just hoping for
a Christmas miracle
858
00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:51,710
from some kind soul,
who could give us a ride.
859
00:41:51,743 --> 00:41:54,079
Yeah, that's what you
need, all right.
860
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:55,246
Oh, yeah.
861
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,583
We'd be incredibly grateful...
STAN: I'll bet!
862
00:41:57,616 --> 00:42:00,351
To anyone and possibly even
somebody we just met,
863
00:42:00,385 --> 00:42:03,521
who's heading to
Vegas, has a car...
864
00:42:03,555 --> 00:42:05,490
(EXCLAIMS)
Especially a four-door...
865
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,225
Oh, yeah, that'd
do it, all right.
866
00:42:07,258 --> 00:42:09,127
Oh, for cryin' out loud,
can you give us a ride?
867
00:42:11,129 --> 00:42:12,698
(LAUGHS)
868
00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:22,874
Well, sure!
Why didn't you just ask?
869
00:42:22,908 --> 00:42:24,576
(LAUGHS)
870
00:42:24,610 --> 00:42:25,911
No eatin' in the car, though.
871
00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:28,046
Mmm, wouldn't think of it.
872
00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:31,549
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪
873
00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:35,220
Whoa! This sunburn ointment
really does the trick.
874
00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,255
I feel so much better.
875
00:42:37,288 --> 00:42:41,026
Oh, pumpkin, I think you put
a little bit too much on.
876
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,928
Here, let me dab some of that off.
Okay.
877
00:42:42,961 --> 00:42:45,864
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh, pepper-pot, I'm so sorry!
878
00:42:45,897 --> 00:42:47,599
It's okay.
Let me just sit down.
879
00:42:47,633 --> 00:42:51,469
The thing is, pudding pop, I can't let
you near the furniture like that.
880
00:42:52,303 --> 00:42:54,305
Well, where can I sit?
881
00:42:55,506 --> 00:42:57,743
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh!
882
00:42:57,776 --> 00:42:59,244
What are you guys doing in here?
883
00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:01,046
(SIGHS)
884
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:03,081
Did... Did Grandma freak out and
send you guys in here, too?
885
00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:05,784
A long time ago, join the club.
886
00:43:05,817 --> 00:43:07,252
(SCOFFS) Not me.
887
00:43:07,285 --> 00:43:09,821
I'm hiding from Grandpa.
I want my mommy!
888
00:43:10,622 --> 00:43:12,523
Yeah, me too.
889
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,961
(EXCLAIMS)
890
00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:19,631
I'm good.
891
00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:23,669
SUE AND STAN:
♪ We
892
00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:27,438
♪ We love the desert
893
00:43:27,472 --> 00:43:29,440
♪ The sagebrush and the sand
894
00:43:29,474 --> 00:43:33,511
♪ We love the desert
895
00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,513
♪ Now come and hold my hand
896
00:43:35,546 --> 00:43:36,982
(LAUGHS)
897
00:43:39,517 --> 00:43:41,319
Oh, Stan, we're
in a high-gamma zone.
898
00:43:41,352 --> 00:43:43,388
Oh, oh, roger that!
Yeah!
899
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:48,326
Um, just out of curiosity,
what's with the hats?
900
00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:51,029
Well, you can never
be too careful. No.
901
00:43:51,062 --> 00:43:53,031
Do they seem
a little weird to you?
902
00:43:53,064 --> 00:43:55,834
Yeah, almost as weird as you
eating a napkin for dessert.
903
00:43:55,867 --> 00:43:57,135
(SIGHS) Don't.
904
00:43:58,236 --> 00:43:59,304
You okay?
905
00:43:59,337 --> 00:44:00,538
Not really.
906
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:05,310
I need a bag.
Mom, not again!
907
00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:07,112
Are you ladies okay back there?
908
00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:11,049
Uh, yeah! Hey, why don't you
tell me about your convention!
909
00:44:11,082 --> 00:44:14,820
Oh, well, we go every year.
It's a real humdinger!
910
00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:16,387
Oh, I bet!
911
00:44:16,421 --> 00:44:18,456
SUE: You know, it's just
so nice to be among folks
912
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,391
who've had the same
experience you had.
913
00:44:20,425 --> 00:44:22,293
I can imagine!
914
00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,830
SUE: Because, you know, if it hasn't
happened to you, you just don't get it.
915
00:44:24,863 --> 00:44:26,497
No! Totally! It's...
Give it to me.
916
00:44:26,531 --> 00:44:28,066
What is it again?
917
00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:29,334
SUE: Alien abduction.
918
00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:34,172
Mmm?
919
00:44:36,674 --> 00:44:38,977
I'm sorry, did you just say...
920
00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:40,979
BOTH: Alien abduction!
921
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,081
That's what A. A. S. N. is.
922
00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:45,416
The Alien Abduction
Survivor's Network.
923
00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:49,354
So, which one of you...
Oh, we both were.
924
00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:52,090
That's where we met first.
925
00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:55,326
Yeah!
Aboard the spaceship.
926
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,561
'Course, we didn't
know it at the time.
927
00:44:56,594 --> 00:44:59,097
Oh, no, no!
Not until years later,
928
00:44:59,130 --> 00:45:02,300
after hypnosis recovered
our repressed memories.
929
00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:05,670
Oh, gosh!
930
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,538
(EXHALING DEEPLY)
931
00:45:07,572 --> 00:45:09,741
Sweetheart, are you okay?
932
00:45:09,775 --> 00:45:13,411
I'm just a little nauseous.
933
00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:18,750
You know, that's the single most
common side-effect of an abduction.
934
00:45:18,784 --> 00:45:21,519
And that increase
in appetite you're having?
935
00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:24,289
Now, that's the second
most common side-effect.
936
00:45:24,322 --> 00:45:27,392
Oh, believe me, I've been
this way for a while.
937
00:45:27,425 --> 00:45:31,930
I mean, I think I would remember
if aliens had abducted me.
938
00:45:31,963 --> 00:45:36,267
Oh, no, sweetheart, that's how it works!
You never remember.
939
00:45:36,301 --> 00:45:37,602
Not at first.
940
00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:41,206
Have you experienced
an episode of lost time?
941
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,575
Uh, you mean, besides the eighteen
years since my kids were born?
942
00:45:44,609 --> 00:45:47,145
Oh, trust me, she wasn't
abducted by aliens.
943
00:45:47,178 --> 00:45:48,579
We were together all last
night in the mountains.
944
00:45:48,613 --> 00:45:51,582
(GASPS) That's where
they get you!
945
00:45:51,616 --> 00:45:54,085
Oh, I wonder
if you've been tagged.
946
00:45:55,453 --> 00:45:56,922
Why don't we probe
them and find out?
947
00:45:56,955 --> 00:45:59,090
No, no, no, don't probe them.
No, no! No probe.
948
00:45:59,124 --> 00:46:03,628
Okay, we'll use the drill.
That'll leave a scar.
949
00:46:03,661 --> 00:46:06,664
BOTH: No, no, no,
no, no, no!
950
00:46:06,697 --> 00:46:08,299
That is not necessary, okay.
951
00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:12,103
I promise you, we have not
been abducted by aliens.
952
00:46:12,137 --> 00:46:15,640
That big appetite,
on top of the nausea,
953
00:46:15,673 --> 00:46:20,311
now, you have either been abducted
by aliens or you're pregnant!
954
00:46:24,349 --> 00:46:25,817
Surprise!
955
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:32,623
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)
956
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:55,546
STAN: Got everything here.
957
00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:58,183
Well, good luck,
Merry Christmas.
958
00:46:58,216 --> 00:47:01,452
Oh, Merry Christmas, Stan.
Bye.
959
00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:03,788
Are you sure you're not
carrying an alien baby?
960
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:08,059
Ah, yeah, I'm pretty sure my
obstetrician would've caught that.
961
00:47:08,093 --> 00:47:10,896
Well, if you change your
mind, we're in the book!
962
00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:13,899
Bye, honey!
BOTH: Bye.
963
00:47:13,932 --> 00:47:17,235
Under "O," for
"Out of your mind."
964
00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:18,636
BOTH: Bye!
965
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,738
Okay, honey, will
you watch our stuff?
966
00:47:20,771 --> 00:47:22,207
I have to go to the bathroom.
967
00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:24,575
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Can we
talk about you being pregnant?
968
00:47:24,609 --> 00:47:25,877
And not telling me?
969
00:47:25,911 --> 00:47:28,579
Teddy, honey,
I wanted to, but...
970
00:47:28,613 --> 00:47:29,981
You know,
your father and I decided
971
00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:32,483
to tell the whole family
at once on Christmas Day.
972
00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:35,086
Excuse me, can you spare
some change for food?
973
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:36,521
Oh, yeah.
974
00:47:37,889 --> 00:47:39,257
Here.
Thank you.
975
00:47:41,292 --> 00:47:42,527
How could this happen?
976
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,694
I think you know
how this happened.
977
00:47:43,728 --> 00:47:44,762
I mean, you saw
the film in health class.
978
00:47:44,795 --> 00:47:46,031
I signed the permission slip.
979
00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,433
But five kids, really?
980
00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:50,868
Look, we will discuss
this after I pee.
981
00:47:50,902 --> 00:47:53,704
It was a really long car ride.
You just watch our luggage.
982
00:47:56,041 --> 00:47:57,275
Where is our luggage?
983
00:47:58,409 --> 00:47:59,577
Oh, no!
984
00:48:00,278 --> 00:48:01,279
(EXCLAIMS)
985
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:03,614
(ALL TALKING)
986
00:48:05,951 --> 00:48:07,919
Hi, there!
987
00:48:07,953 --> 00:48:12,590
So, uh, underneath all this medicated ointment,
there's actually a very sensitive guy.
988
00:48:12,623 --> 00:48:14,625
May I offer you ladies
a banana chip?
989
00:48:18,763 --> 00:48:21,099
Wow, it's hard to believe
that didn't work.
990
00:48:25,270 --> 00:48:26,471
(LAUGHS)
991
00:48:27,505 --> 00:48:29,140
(LAUGHS)
992
00:48:29,174 --> 00:48:31,309
Isn't this great, finally
something she can't break.
993
00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:34,245
(AIR WHISTLING)
994
00:48:35,780 --> 00:48:37,482
(MOBILE RINGING)
995
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:43,788
Hey, honey, you almost here?
996
00:48:45,023 --> 00:48:46,958
You what?
997
00:48:46,992 --> 00:48:48,559
No, no, no, no, no!
You know what?
998
00:48:48,593 --> 00:48:51,096
You stay there,
I'm gonna come get you.
999
00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:53,264
I don't know.
1000
00:48:53,298 --> 00:48:55,400
We'll leave as soon as I can convince
your father to lend me the car.
1001
00:48:55,433 --> 00:48:57,102
So, I'll see you when I see you.
1002
00:48:57,135 --> 00:48:58,936
Okay, love you too.
1003
00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:00,605
What's up?
1004
00:49:00,638 --> 00:49:02,773
(SIGHS) I gotta go pick up
your mom and Teddy.
1005
00:49:02,807 --> 00:49:04,742
You guys need to stay here
with Grandma and Grandpa.
1006
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,144
BOTH: No, no, no!
1007
00:49:06,177 --> 00:49:07,445
Take us with you.
Don't leave us here.
1008
00:49:07,478 --> 00:49:09,114
BOTH: Please, please,
please! Please!
1009
00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:13,784
(DOOR OPENING)
1010
00:49:13,818 --> 00:49:15,620
All right!
1011
00:49:15,653 --> 00:49:18,990
Oh, good! You're just in time
to have more Christmas cookies!
1012
00:49:19,024 --> 00:49:22,027
Except you. You're
still being punished.
1013
00:49:22,060 --> 00:49:24,829
Petunia, Amy and Teddy
are stranded in Vegas!
1014
00:49:24,862 --> 00:49:26,697
Oh, the poor things!
Are they okay?
1015
00:49:26,731 --> 00:49:29,867
Oh, they're fine. I just... I need to
borrow your car, so I can go get them.
1016
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:32,270
Hank, there's an emergency.
1017
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:35,640
You have to drive into Las
Vegas and pick up the girls!
1018
00:49:35,673 --> 00:49:37,442
HANK: Wait till
I finish this level!
1019
00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:40,045
I can see the Stone of Mitrios!
1020
00:49:40,078 --> 00:49:42,447
He's not coming out
of there any time soon.
1021
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,016
All right, guys, got get a
change of clothes, we're going.
1022
00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:47,885
You're leaving me here
alone on Christmas Eve?
1023
00:49:47,918 --> 00:49:49,354
(SIGHS) Well...
1024
00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:52,023
Not entirely.
1025
00:49:52,057 --> 00:49:54,725
Look, I haven't got time to
make that car seat work,
1026
00:49:54,759 --> 00:49:56,261
could you watch her
while I'm gone?
1027
00:49:56,861 --> 00:49:58,296
Of course I can.
1028
00:49:58,329 --> 00:50:00,165
I always knew this
day would come.
1029
00:50:03,234 --> 00:50:05,570
Okay.
1030
00:50:05,603 --> 00:50:08,973
Hey, sweetie, we're going
to be back soon, okay?
1031
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,641
I promise, all of us.
1032
00:50:10,675 --> 00:50:11,676
Mama.
1033
00:50:13,711 --> 00:50:15,746
Please make sure she has
a nice Christmas Eve.
1034
00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:17,415
Of course, I will.
1035
00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,417
We'll have a fabulous time...
Bye, Daddy.
1036
00:50:20,285 --> 00:50:21,286
Bye-bye, sweetie.
1037
00:50:26,957 --> 00:50:29,860
Oh, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, wait!
1038
00:50:29,894 --> 00:50:31,862
Wait, how do I keep her
from breaking things?
1039
00:50:33,398 --> 00:50:36,134
It's easy. Just tell
her not to touch them.
1040
00:50:40,571 --> 00:50:42,573
AMY: I told you
to watch our bags!
1041
00:50:42,607 --> 00:50:44,008
I'm not the one
who wandered off!
1042
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,743
Well, I had to pee!
1043
00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:48,513
Well, I still have to pee!
1044
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:53,418
This is great, yep, no luggage, no
purse, no money and I'm starving!
1045
00:50:53,451 --> 00:50:55,753
It could be worse.
That's hard to see how!
1046
00:50:55,786 --> 00:50:57,588
I hope that plane
ticket was worth it, Teddy.
1047
00:50:57,622 --> 00:51:00,225
Okay, you know, I did my
best to get us out of this.
1048
00:51:00,258 --> 00:51:02,093
And you haven't
exactly been helpful!
1049
00:51:02,127 --> 00:51:05,363
Well, that's because you wanted to
prove how responsible you were!
1050
00:51:05,396 --> 00:51:07,098
Mom, I'm not the parent!
1051
00:51:07,132 --> 00:51:09,100
I'm not the one who's actually
supposed to be responsible!
1052
00:51:09,134 --> 00:51:11,469
And I'm not the one
who ruined Christmas!
1053
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:19,577
Oh, Teddy... That's the meanest
thing you've ever said to me!
1054
00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,746
What? Do you think
I wanted to ruin Christmas?
1055
00:51:21,779 --> 00:51:24,715
I already feel awful! And you
just want me to feel worse!
1056
00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:26,717
No, no, no!
Teddy, come back!
1057
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:27,952
Leave me alone!
1058
00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:29,687
Teddy!
1059
00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:36,161
Oh!
1060
00:51:36,194 --> 00:51:38,062
♪ Turned down that street and
the memories come flooding in
1061
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:39,897
♪ The porch light is smiling
1062
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:44,169
♪ Like it's asking me,
"Where you been?"
1063
00:51:44,202 --> 00:51:48,339
♪ I need this more than ever
1064
00:51:48,373 --> 00:51:52,009
♪ And then I open the door
1065
00:51:52,042 --> 00:51:57,848
♪ It's like everything that's
on my mind just disappears
1066
00:51:57,882 --> 00:51:59,184
No.
1067
00:52:02,887 --> 00:52:04,355
No, no, sorry.
1068
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:11,429
(GRUNTS)
1069
00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:12,830
(JINGLING)
1070
00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:16,634
♪ The only thing that matters
1071
00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:21,339
♪ All that really matters
1072
00:52:21,372 --> 00:52:25,576
♪ Is Christmas with you
1073
00:52:26,411 --> 00:52:31,716
♪ Christmas with you
1074
00:52:33,418 --> 00:52:37,121
Well, it's Christmas Eve
in Las Vegas, Charlie.
1075
00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:40,358
All I want for Christmas
is a sandwich.
1076
00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,228
I wish I was a mime.
1077
00:52:43,261 --> 00:52:46,063
Look at that guy,
he's doing pretty well.
1078
00:52:48,866 --> 00:52:50,768
You thinking what I'm thinking?
1079
00:52:55,706 --> 00:52:56,741
(CLEARS THROAT)
1080
00:52:59,076 --> 00:53:01,646
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly
1081
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,215
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
la-la la-la
1082
00:53:04,249 --> 00:53:06,851
♪ 'Tis the season
to be jolly
1083
00:53:06,884 --> 00:53:09,320
♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
1084
00:53:09,354 --> 00:53:11,756
♪ Don we now
our gay apparel
1085
00:53:11,789 --> 00:53:14,325
♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
1086
00:53:14,359 --> 00:53:16,827
♪ Troll the ancient
Yule tide carol
1087
00:53:16,861 --> 00:53:18,429
♪ Fa la la la la,
la, la... ♪
1088
00:53:18,463 --> 00:53:20,398
No, no, no, no!
Sorry...
1089
00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:21,966
Excuse me, sir.
1090
00:53:29,307 --> 00:53:34,412
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
1091
00:53:34,445 --> 00:53:36,146
(ALL TALKING)
1092
00:53:37,582 --> 00:53:40,518
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride
1093
00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:44,955
♪ In a one-horse open
1094
00:53:44,989 --> 00:53:47,725
♪ Sleigh, hey
1095
00:53:47,758 --> 00:53:49,760
What are you doing?
Hey! I'm helping you.
1096
00:53:49,794 --> 00:53:51,696
No, I don't need help.
I can do this on my own.
1097
00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:53,764
No you can't, Teddy! You're
not even in the right key.
1098
00:53:53,798 --> 00:53:56,434
♪ Dashing through the snow
1099
00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:59,770
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh
1100
00:53:59,804 --> 00:54:01,772
♪ O'er the fields we go
1101
00:54:01,806 --> 00:54:03,441
♪ Laughing all the way
1102
00:54:03,474 --> 00:54:05,109
(LAUGHS)
1103
00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:11,549
♪ Bells on bob-tails ring
Making spirits bright
1104
00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:12,717
Mom!
Shh!
1105
00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,051
(LAUGHING)
1106
00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:16,821
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing
1107
00:54:16,854 --> 00:54:18,889
♪ A sleighing song tonight
1108
00:54:18,923 --> 00:54:22,159
♪ Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells
1109
00:54:22,192 --> 00:54:24,495
♪ Jingle all the way
1110
00:54:24,529 --> 00:54:26,764
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride
1111
00:54:26,797 --> 00:54:29,634
♪ In a one-horse open
sleigh, hey ♪
1112
00:54:30,468 --> 00:54:31,936
(CHEERING)
1113
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:38,843
That is exactly what the
holidays are like at my house.
1114
00:54:38,876 --> 00:54:40,010
(LAUGHING)
1115
00:54:40,044 --> 00:54:41,045
(WHISTLING)
1116
00:54:48,052 --> 00:54:50,921
This is really good.
Really good.
1117
00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:51,956
(EXCLAIMS)
1118
00:54:56,894 --> 00:54:58,262
Take a right up there.
1119
00:54:58,295 --> 00:54:59,764
Up where?
1120
00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,599
There's a little unmarked
road about 100 yards ahead.
1121
00:55:01,632 --> 00:55:03,968
Trust me!
I mapped it out!
1122
00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:07,772
Oh, if we took that road, it would've
shaved 30 minutes off our trip.
1123
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:10,107
Are you sure? Trust me, go
back and make the turn.
1124
00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:11,509
Don't trust him.
1125
00:55:11,542 --> 00:55:13,310
I saw a movie that
started like this.
1126
00:55:13,344 --> 00:55:14,612
How did it turn out?
1127
00:55:14,645 --> 00:55:17,214
I don't know. I got too
scared and left the theater.
1128
00:55:17,247 --> 00:55:19,049
Oh, I stayed. The guy
driving the car lived.
1129
00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:20,385
Good enough for me.
1130
00:55:20,418 --> 00:55:22,887
But only for a minute,
then he got eaten by zombies.
1131
00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:26,357
Sorry.
1132
00:55:26,391 --> 00:55:30,895
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas, hey
1133
00:55:30,928 --> 00:55:33,831
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas, hey
1134
00:55:33,864 --> 00:55:35,566
(LAUGHING)
1135
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:39,537
♪ We wish you a Merry
Christmas, and a Happy New Year
1136
00:55:39,570 --> 00:55:43,741
♪ Glad tidings we bring
to you and your kin
1137
00:55:43,774 --> 00:55:48,513
♪ Glad tidings for Christmas
and a Happy New Year
1138
00:55:48,546 --> 00:55:51,816
♪ Oh, bring us
a figgy pudding
1139
00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:53,918
♪ Oh, bring us
a figgy pudding
1140
00:55:53,951 --> 00:55:56,387
♪ Oh, bring us
a figgy pudding
1141
00:55:56,421 --> 00:55:58,556
♪ And bring it right here
1142
00:55:58,589 --> 00:55:59,590
(CHEERING)
1143
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:03,761
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas
1144
00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:06,163
♪ We wish you a Merry
Christmas Thank you.
1145
00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,433
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas
1146
00:56:10,267 --> 00:56:16,273
♪ And a Happy New Year
1147
00:56:17,608 --> 00:56:19,410
(ALL CHEERING)
1148
00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:28,919
How'd we do? Good enough
for an $8.99 buffet!
1149
00:56:28,953 --> 00:56:30,387
(EXCLAIMS)
1150
00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:39,430
Yeah, yeah, this is
definitely the right move.
1151
00:56:39,464 --> 00:56:40,598
MAN: Stop!
1152
00:56:40,631 --> 00:56:42,099
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1153
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,968
Except for the guys with guns!
1154
00:56:44,001 --> 00:56:45,470
Those guys were not on the map.
1155
00:56:48,005 --> 00:56:50,941
Who are you guys?
Are you policemen?
1156
00:56:50,975 --> 00:56:53,043
I'm going to need
to see some badges.
1157
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:56,714
Badges? We don't need
no stinking badges.
1158
00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:57,748
(LAUGHING)
1159
00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:07,625
I mean, we could really
be onto something here.
1160
00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:09,594
We could be the
next Jersey Boys.
1161
00:57:09,627 --> 00:57:11,428
I don't think... I mean, not that we
should take it straight to Broadway.
1162
00:57:11,462 --> 00:57:13,230
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Exactly.
1163
00:57:13,263 --> 00:57:15,065
I mean, we should open
in Chicago or Los Angeles.
1164
00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:17,602
You know, just a couple of
months, work out the bugs.
1165
00:57:17,635 --> 00:57:18,769
Who should we get
to do the music?
1166
00:57:18,803 --> 00:57:20,605
Stephen Sondheim
or Andrew Lloyd Webber?
1167
00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:22,640
Ooh, Elton John.
1168
00:57:22,673 --> 00:57:24,174
Whatever, Mom.
1169
00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:25,676
Oh, cheer up, kiddo!
1170
00:57:26,811 --> 00:57:28,479
(SIGHS)
1171
00:57:28,513 --> 00:57:30,581
Look, if this is... If this
is about Spring Break then...
1172
00:57:30,615 --> 00:57:32,116
Yeah?
1173
00:57:32,149 --> 00:57:33,350
(SIGHS)
1174
00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:36,153
It's hard.
1175
00:57:37,187 --> 00:57:39,557
What, Mom?
What is hard?
1176
00:57:40,390 --> 00:57:41,391
Letting go.
1177
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:47,532
You take a trip like that by yourself
and you really are a grown up.
1178
00:57:47,565 --> 00:57:49,867
And, well, I just want
you to be my baby.
1179
00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:54,672
Mom, I'll always be your baby.
1180
00:57:54,705 --> 00:57:58,308
And you keep making more babies, so
it's not like you're going to run out.
1181
00:58:00,144 --> 00:58:02,246
I wish the rest
of them were here.
1182
00:58:04,348 --> 00:58:05,816
(EXCLAIMS)
1183
00:58:08,152 --> 00:58:09,654
I'm sorry I ruined Christmas.
1184
00:58:09,687 --> 00:58:13,057
Hey, you did not ruin Christmas.
1185
00:58:14,024 --> 00:58:15,993
At least we're together.
1186
00:58:16,026 --> 00:58:18,128
We can still have pancakes
on Christmas morning,
1187
00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:21,331
even if they're six hours
old under a heat lamp.
1188
00:58:21,365 --> 00:58:23,968
And they're not shaped
like Christmas trees.
1189
00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:28,005
Teddy, you gave me
the best present ever!
1190
00:58:29,874 --> 00:58:31,441
My own Broadway musical!
1191
00:58:34,078 --> 00:58:35,445
Yeah.
1192
00:58:38,115 --> 00:58:40,117
Mom, that girl.
1193
00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:43,153
She's got our luggage!
1194
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:45,189
TEDDY: She's wearing
my purple top!
1195
00:58:45,222 --> 00:58:46,857
She looks better
in it than I do!
1196
00:58:46,891 --> 00:58:48,693
Hey, wait.
We need a plan.
1197
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:50,861
No, we don't, jump her!
1198
00:58:55,633 --> 00:58:56,767
All right, the jig is up.
1199
00:58:56,801 --> 00:58:58,435
And you look awful in that top.
1200
00:59:00,270 --> 00:59:02,873
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
1201
00:59:02,907 --> 00:59:04,241
Oh, yeah, well,
cry all you want,
1202
00:59:04,274 --> 00:59:05,876
'cause we're calling the cops.
1203
00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:09,213
No, I swear, I've never done
anything like this before, ever!
1204
00:59:09,246 --> 00:59:12,583
I just didn't know what else
to do because I was so hungry.
1205
00:59:12,617 --> 00:59:17,087
And I just saw your luggage sitting
there, and I haven't eaten in so long.
1206
00:59:17,121 --> 00:59:19,356
Could you please stop crying
so I can call the cops?
1207
00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:21,025
I'm sorry!
1208
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:23,427
I'm just so tired and I'm lost
1209
00:59:23,460 --> 00:59:25,863
and all I want to do
is just go home
1210
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:29,299
but I can't because it's
like a thousand miles away.
1211
00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:31,068
And I don't have any money.
1212
00:59:31,101 --> 00:59:32,302
How did that happen?
1213
00:59:34,171 --> 00:59:35,740
It's a really long story.
1214
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:38,442
We've got time.
1215
00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:44,749
MAN: Hold still!
It won't help to struggle.
1216
00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:48,719
All right, take
the blindfolds off.
1217
00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:50,921
Okay. (SIGHS)
1218
00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:54,091
Whatever it is you guys want...
You know what we want!
1219
00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:55,425
To keep the Stone of Mitrios
1220
00:59:55,459 --> 00:59:57,261
out of your dirty yellow hands!
1221
00:59:57,294 --> 00:59:59,930
I have no idea what you're
talking about. I do!
1222
00:59:59,964 --> 01:00:01,265
Gabe, please!
1223
01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:03,267
Look, we're innocent.
1224
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:05,569
We were just on our way to pick
up my wife and my daughter...
1225
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:09,273
Down an unmarked desert road,
after dark, on Christmas Eve?
1226
01:00:09,306 --> 01:00:10,975
Do you think I'm stupid?
1227
01:00:11,008 --> 01:00:13,343
I have a PhD from Caltech!
1228
01:00:13,377 --> 01:00:17,114
Really? Oh, then you're smart enough
to know that kidnapping is a felony.
1229
01:00:17,147 --> 01:00:18,348
(LAUGHS)
1230
01:00:19,684 --> 01:00:22,853
Good one.
You're very convincing.
1231
01:00:22,887 --> 01:00:25,622
Look, you tell Jablowsky,
whatever trick he was trying
1232
01:00:25,656 --> 01:00:27,591
to pull with you,
it didn't work.
1233
01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:30,627
We are going to grind
you under our boots.
1234
01:00:30,661 --> 01:00:33,864
And there's no way
you're getting the Stone.
1235
01:00:33,898 --> 01:00:35,632
We don't even know what that is!
1236
01:00:35,666 --> 01:00:37,501
I do!
1237
01:00:37,534 --> 01:00:39,269
And we're going to miss Christmas!
What did you say?
1238
01:00:39,303 --> 01:00:41,271
I know exactly what's happening!
1239
01:00:41,305 --> 01:00:43,273
We're in the middle
of Live Death!
1240
01:00:43,307 --> 01:00:45,009
Which is?
1241
01:00:45,042 --> 01:00:46,610
Okay, so every Christmas
Eve, Chuck Jablowsky,
1242
01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:49,780
the multi-gazillionaire
who invented Galaxy of Death,
1243
01:00:49,814 --> 01:00:52,783
he hosts this legendary paintball
tournament based on the game.
1244
01:00:52,817 --> 01:00:54,819
It's like a giant video
game come to life!
1245
01:00:54,852 --> 01:00:56,787
Why does he do
it on Christmas Eve?
1246
01:00:56,821 --> 01:00:59,123
Because half the programmers
who work for him are Hindu.
1247
01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:01,959
And the other half are antisocial
nerds who have no life.
1248
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:04,795
I'm starting to realize why there
weren't any hot girls in that crowd.
1249
01:01:04,829 --> 01:01:07,164
Yeah, it's a shame.
1250
01:01:07,197 --> 01:01:08,733
How long does the game last?
1251
01:01:08,766 --> 01:01:11,401
Until either the Yellow team
captures the Stone of Mitrios,
1252
01:01:11,435 --> 01:01:13,070
or the Red team
wipes them all out.
1253
01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:14,905
(SIGHS) Usually takes
a couple of days.
1254
01:01:14,939 --> 01:01:16,907
So we're stuck here
till after Christmas?
1255
01:01:16,941 --> 01:01:18,709
Well, not if we escape!
1256
01:01:18,743 --> 01:01:20,644
All right, you know what, let's
scoot our chairs back to back
1257
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:23,380
and then, maybe we could
untie the ropes, all right.
1258
01:01:23,413 --> 01:01:24,514
Here we go.
1259
01:01:24,548 --> 01:01:26,050
All right, working already, huh?
1260
01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:27,752
Wait, no, Dad.
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad...
1261
01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:29,253
No, no, no, no! Ow.
Ow!
1262
01:01:29,286 --> 01:01:30,420
Gabe, you bumped
me out of position!
1263
01:01:30,454 --> 01:01:32,656
You bumped me!
Sit still!
1264
01:01:32,689 --> 01:01:34,925
This was my idea! Let
me do what I got to do!
1265
01:01:34,959 --> 01:01:37,862
Yes, but I'm smaller
and more agile!
1266
01:01:37,895 --> 01:01:39,663
Well, I'm bigger and you
need to listen to me!
1267
01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:40,798
Dad's right.
1268
01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:43,734
How did you get free?
1269
01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,503
My arms are all lubed up
with sunburn ointment.
1270
01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:47,905
Slipped them right out.
1271
01:01:48,939 --> 01:01:50,574
Untie us!
1272
01:01:50,607 --> 01:01:52,076
Oh, yeah, yeah!
1273
01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:55,612
Wow, that's really easy to undo.
1274
01:01:55,645 --> 01:01:58,448
I guess Caltech doesn't have
a knot tying requirement.
1275
01:01:59,416 --> 01:02:00,751
(GRUNTING)
1276
01:02:00,785 --> 01:02:03,220
All right, let's go.
1277
01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:08,392
Wait, wait, wait... We might
have to shoot our way out.
1278
01:02:08,425 --> 01:02:10,094
Good idea.
1279
01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:11,796
Here goes.
1280
01:02:11,829 --> 01:02:12,963
(LAUGHS)
1281
01:02:12,997 --> 01:02:14,698
Yes!
All right!
1282
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:16,233
Okay, boys, are we ready?
1283
01:02:16,266 --> 01:02:17,734
BOTH: Yeah!
All right!
1284
01:02:17,768 --> 01:02:21,972
On three.
One, two, three!
1285
01:02:23,007 --> 01:02:28,312
Wow. Okay, on three.
One, two, three!
1286
01:02:28,345 --> 01:02:31,248
One, two, three!
1287
01:02:31,281 --> 01:02:33,583
Come on!
Allow me.
1288
01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:39,990
Thank you.
1289
01:02:43,293 --> 01:02:44,494
Nobody in here.
1290
01:02:44,528 --> 01:02:45,830
(TOILET FLUSHING)
1291
01:02:54,939 --> 01:02:56,974
Hey, remember us?
1292
01:02:57,007 --> 01:02:58,108
Where's our car?
1293
01:02:58,142 --> 01:02:59,776
Can't talk, already dead!
1294
01:02:59,810 --> 01:03:01,345
Oh, come on!
1295
01:03:01,378 --> 01:03:04,248
Rules are rules for
a reason, okay, pal?
1296
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:06,951
Give us a break, man!
It's Christmas Eve!
1297
01:03:06,984 --> 01:03:08,318
We're not like you!
We have lives!
1298
01:03:08,352 --> 01:03:10,420
Hey, man, I chose to be here!
1299
01:03:10,454 --> 01:03:11,755
Yeah.
1300
01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:13,757
Guys, you gotta
check out this map!
1301
01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:16,260
Oh, does it prove I was
right about the shortcut?
1302
01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:18,963
Oh, other than the part
where we got kidnapped?
1303
01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:21,098
Can you find our
car on this thing?
1304
01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:23,467
I think it's over there,
past the Tower of Doom.
1305
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,836
But we're deep in
Red team territory.
1306
01:03:25,870 --> 01:03:28,405
If we run for it, we'll probably
just get kidnapped again.
1307
01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:32,209
On the other hand...
What?
1308
01:03:32,242 --> 01:03:34,811
Their whole strategy's
outlined in this plan.
1309
01:03:34,845 --> 01:03:36,780
And it's right out
of Galaxy of Death.
1310
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:38,815
I know exactly how
this is going to play out.
1311
01:03:40,384 --> 01:03:42,386
So can you get us to the car?
1312
01:03:42,419 --> 01:03:44,554
Dad, I can do better than that.
1313
01:03:45,923 --> 01:03:48,325
I think I can win this thing.
1314
01:03:50,895 --> 01:03:54,231
JORDAN: So, I really wanted
to go to this music festival.
1315
01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:56,867
But my mom said I was too
young and irresponsible
1316
01:03:56,901 --> 01:03:59,003
to go cross-country
without an adult.
1317
01:03:59,036 --> 01:04:00,304
Mmm, I've heard that before.
1318
01:04:00,337 --> 01:04:02,172
I've said that before.
1319
01:04:02,206 --> 01:04:05,509
So, we got in this huge fight, of course,
because we fight about everything.
1320
01:04:05,542 --> 01:04:10,014
My clothes, my grades, my nose piercing,
which actually she was right about,
1321
01:04:10,047 --> 01:04:12,382
because I still can't
smell on this side.
1322
01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,084
Lesson learned.
Mmm-hmm.
1323
01:04:14,118 --> 01:04:15,986
So, she said that if
I went to the festival,
1324
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:18,588
then I might as well not
even bother coming home.
1325
01:04:19,389 --> 01:04:21,926
And I went anyway.
1326
01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:26,163
And then my ride ditched me,
and I wound up stranded here.
1327
01:04:26,196 --> 01:04:28,198
Well, did you call your mom?
1328
01:04:28,232 --> 01:04:31,368
But she said she'd
never forgive me.
1329
01:04:31,401 --> 01:04:35,172
Well, you know, sometimes moms say
things they don't really mean.
1330
01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:37,074
Yeah, we do, all the time.
1331
01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:38,608
I once told Teddy if she
didn't clean her room,
1332
01:04:38,642 --> 01:04:40,410
she'd have to sleep
outside in the yard.
1333
01:04:40,444 --> 01:04:42,179
I did have to sleep outside in the yard.
It was summer.
1334
01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:44,748
Look, the point is,
it's Christmas Eve.
1335
01:04:45,615 --> 01:04:47,217
Call your mom.
1336
01:04:47,251 --> 01:04:50,220
I can't.
I'm too scared.
1337
01:04:51,588 --> 01:04:52,957
Do you want me to call her?
1338
01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:59,964
Hi, Brenda?
This is Amy Duncan.
1339
01:04:59,997 --> 01:05:02,232
This is going to take
a little bit of explaining.
1340
01:05:04,001 --> 01:05:05,936
It's going to be fine.
1341
01:05:05,970 --> 01:05:09,139
I don't know, my mom can
be pretty nuts sometimes.
1342
01:05:09,173 --> 01:05:11,108
Yeah, well, they all can.
1343
01:05:11,141 --> 01:05:14,244
I don't know, your mom
seems really chill.
1344
01:05:14,278 --> 01:05:17,114
My mom wants to turn our arguments
into a Broadway musical.
1345
01:05:19,316 --> 01:05:21,785
Wow, that is nuts.
Yep!
1346
01:05:21,818 --> 01:05:24,654
What a coincidence!
I have four kids, too!
1347
01:05:24,688 --> 01:05:28,625
Oh, my gosh! I'm pregnant, too, hah!
It's like we're twins!
1348
01:05:28,658 --> 01:05:29,926
Do you watch The Bachelor?
1349
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,062
(GASPS) I know,
isn't she heinous?
1350
01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:33,463
I can't believe he picked her.
1351
01:05:33,497 --> 01:05:34,965
You know what, though?
1352
01:05:34,999 --> 01:05:38,935
Underneath all that craziness
they really do love us.
1353
01:05:38,969 --> 01:05:41,671
And reality TV.
Yeah, that too.
1354
01:05:43,107 --> 01:05:45,242
Hang on.
1355
01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:48,945
(SIGHS) Jordan, here's someone
who wants to talk to you.
1356
01:05:57,154 --> 01:05:59,089
Hi, Mom.
How did it go?
1357
01:05:59,123 --> 01:06:01,525
Oh, we totally agreed about
the girl in The Bachelor.
1358
01:06:01,558 --> 01:06:04,261
Oh, no, I mean, do you think
they're going to make up?
1359
01:06:04,294 --> 01:06:06,163
(CRYING)
I miss you, too.
1360
01:06:08,398 --> 01:06:09,866
I think they just did.
1361
01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:13,070
(CRYING) Okay.
1362
01:06:15,072 --> 01:06:16,706
I love you too, Mom!
1363
01:06:17,841 --> 01:06:19,176
I'll see you soon.
1364
01:06:25,915 --> 01:06:27,184
Everything okay?
1365
01:06:28,552 --> 01:06:29,953
Thank you so much!
1366
01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:31,888
Oh, you're so welcome.
1367
01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:34,724
So, you headed to the airport?
1368
01:06:35,925 --> 01:06:38,295
You are going home, right?
1369
01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:40,030
Yeah, yeah, it's just...
1370
01:06:40,064 --> 01:06:43,167
The plane fare's a little too
much for my mom to handle.
1371
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,069
So, I'm just going
to find a shelter tonight.
1372
01:06:45,102 --> 01:06:47,737
And then figure out some way to
get enough money for a bus fare.
1373
01:06:49,573 --> 01:06:51,841
But, don't worry. I'm not
going to steal anything.
1374
01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:53,577
No, no, no, it's not that, um...
1375
01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:00,884
I want you to have this.
1376
01:07:01,785 --> 01:07:02,919
What is it?
1377
01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,621
It's a plane ticket.
1378
01:07:05,589 --> 01:07:07,023
No, no!
Yeah!
1379
01:07:07,057 --> 01:07:08,258
No, I can't!
1380
01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,759
Yeah, it's brought me
a lot of trouble.
1381
01:07:09,793 --> 01:07:12,296
But, if it gets you home for
Christmas, then it's worth it.
1382
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,266
(WHISPERS) Thank you.
1383
01:07:23,607 --> 01:07:24,608
Thanks again.
1384
01:07:25,909 --> 01:07:27,577
Oh, my gosh!
You need your top back!
1385
01:07:27,611 --> 01:07:30,114
No, no, no, keep it! It looks better
on you, than it ever did on me.
1386
01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:32,949
Well, thanks again, again!
1387
01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:36,052
Merry Christmas!
1388
01:07:36,086 --> 01:07:37,621
BOTH: Merry Christmas!
1389
01:07:40,624 --> 01:07:41,825
BOTH: Bye!
1390
01:07:45,229 --> 01:07:49,399
I am so proud of you. That was such
a grown-up thing you just did.
1391
01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:51,034
Grown-up enough
to go on Spring Break?
1392
01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:53,737
Yeah, if you had a ticket!
1393
01:07:53,770 --> 01:07:55,805
That's painfully ironic.
Yeah!
1394
01:07:58,242 --> 01:07:59,643
(BELLS JINGLING)
1395
01:08:03,147 --> 01:08:07,417
TEDDY: Hey, are you sure this is the
place where we're supposed to meet Dad?
1396
01:08:07,451 --> 01:08:09,419
AMY: He's not
answering his phone.
1397
01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:10,954
You know what?
I'll just text him.
1398
01:08:12,456 --> 01:08:14,924
MAN: Stay together.
Let's move, let's move!
1399
01:08:14,958 --> 01:08:16,860
Bravo team, head on a swivel.
1400
01:08:18,962 --> 01:08:20,597
Guard the right perimeter.
1401
01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:27,471
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1402
01:08:27,971 --> 01:08:29,673
(GRUNTING)
1403
01:08:29,706 --> 01:08:30,874
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1404
01:08:34,211 --> 01:08:36,646
Dad, when you're in the kill zone,
you gotta keep it on vibrate!
1405
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,815
I hate vibrate!
It tickles.
1406
01:08:39,716 --> 01:08:40,917
What are you doing?
1407
01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:44,020
I am texting your mother back.
1408
01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:47,291
Hey, there is no texting
in the kill zone!
1409
01:08:47,324 --> 01:08:49,626
PJ.
Got it.
1410
01:08:49,659 --> 01:08:53,029
(SCOFFS) These nerds
go down easy.
1411
01:08:53,062 --> 01:08:55,865
Dad! Come on! We're almost
through the Plains of Fire!
1412
01:08:55,899 --> 01:08:59,135
You could practically see the
Wastelands of Gorlion from here!
1413
01:08:59,169 --> 01:09:02,772
Wait a minute. We are going
straight to the car, correct?
1414
01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:06,310
Yeah! Yeah, Dad, it's
just past the Wastelands.
1415
01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,547
Is it?
No!
1416
01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:12,081
(KEYS BEEPING)
1417
01:09:13,317 --> 01:09:14,451
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1418
01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:16,653
Oh, my gosh, it's your father!
1419
01:09:16,686 --> 01:09:21,825
"Running late, can't call or text
from the kill zone. Love you, BRB."
1420
01:09:22,759 --> 01:09:24,694
That's random.
1421
01:09:24,728 --> 01:09:26,830
Well, so much for us all
spending Christmas together.
1422
01:09:27,897 --> 01:09:30,467
Hey, we will be together!
1423
01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:32,469
You know, we know what
route they're taking.
1424
01:09:32,502 --> 01:09:34,938
We'll rent a car and meet them halfway.
Come on!
1425
01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:37,173
AMY: Wow.
TEDDY: Let's go.
1426
01:09:37,207 --> 01:09:38,542
You go, girlfriend!
1427
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:42,011
Lady Luck Car Rental.
1428
01:09:42,045 --> 01:09:44,681
(SIGHS)
"Open 364 days a year."
1429
01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:49,419
Oh, God, it's after midnight.
Nothing's going to be open!
1430
01:09:49,453 --> 01:09:50,787
(SIGHS)
1431
01:09:52,222 --> 01:09:53,557
TEDDY: What about
that place?
1432
01:09:57,961 --> 01:09:59,095
(DOOR BELL JINGLING)
1433
01:09:59,128 --> 01:10:01,331
Oh, hey!
Merry Christmas!
1434
01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:03,333
Merry Christmas to you!
Thank you.
1435
01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:06,069
You know, I knew if I stayed open
all night long on Christmas,
1436
01:10:06,102 --> 01:10:07,537
it would pay off.
1437
01:10:07,571 --> 01:10:09,406
Yeah, the thing is,
1438
01:10:09,439 --> 01:10:12,276
we were hoping you knew of a rental
car place that might be open.
1439
01:10:13,109 --> 01:10:14,711
Oh.
1440
01:10:14,744 --> 01:10:17,547
Well, you see, that's the
trouble with car places.
1441
01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:19,249
There's no culture
of commitment.
1442
01:10:19,283 --> 01:10:20,884
That's why I sold my garage.
1443
01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:23,587
Moved to Vegas, I bought
this place from Gary...
1444
01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:26,456
Uh, wait, so you're not Gary?
No!
1445
01:10:26,490 --> 01:10:27,591
No, no, my name is...
1446
01:10:27,624 --> 01:10:29,859
Wait! Don't tell us.
Are you Walter?
1447
01:10:29,893 --> 01:10:31,728
(EXCLAIMS)
How'd you guess?
1448
01:10:31,761 --> 01:10:35,299
Oh, we used your old garage a few
hundred miles back for towing...
1449
01:10:35,332 --> 01:10:37,401
Actually, shoveling.
1450
01:10:37,434 --> 01:10:39,636
Wow, imagine that!
Say, how's Lenny doin'?
1451
01:10:39,669 --> 01:10:40,804
He's great.
Great.
1452
01:10:40,837 --> 01:10:42,906
Doing great.
So's Daryl.
1453
01:10:42,939 --> 01:10:44,641
Oh, you know Daryl?
Yeah.
1454
01:10:44,674 --> 01:10:47,644
Amazing. Yeah, yeah,
it really has been.
1455
01:10:47,677 --> 01:10:50,046
Ah, so listen, Walter,
my family's Christmas
1456
01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:52,982
depends on our not being in
Vegas when the sun comes up.
1457
01:10:53,016 --> 01:10:55,452
Uh-huh.
So, what's our best bet?
1458
01:10:57,287 --> 01:10:58,822
(EXHALING)
1459
01:11:18,141 --> 01:11:20,810
Really thought we would've
come across them by now.
1460
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:23,813
Let's take a rest.
1461
01:11:27,651 --> 01:11:28,852
(AMY SIGHS)
1462
01:11:28,885 --> 01:11:30,286
(BOTH PANTING)
1463
01:11:38,161 --> 01:11:40,330
Merry Christmas, baby.
1464
01:11:40,364 --> 01:11:42,198
Merry Christmas, Mama.
1465
01:11:46,903 --> 01:11:48,905
I hope the guys are okay.
1466
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:51,808
Wherever they are.
1467
01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:58,348
(EXCLAIMING)
There's something over here.
1468
01:11:58,382 --> 01:12:01,985
♪ I'm looking for a sign
1469
01:12:02,018 --> 01:12:04,788
♪ To show me that I'm right
1470
01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:07,791
♪ On cue to break the fall
1471
01:12:07,824 --> 01:12:10,694
♪ When our back's
against the wall
1472
01:12:10,727 --> 01:12:14,197
♪ So I'll take it
as it comes
1473
01:12:14,230 --> 01:12:18,234
♪ I'll show off anyone who
thinks I'll take it slow
1474
01:12:18,267 --> 01:12:19,769
Go! Go! Go!
1475
01:12:24,273 --> 01:12:25,675
(GROANS)
1476
01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:34,250
Everybody on the ridge.
On the ridge!
1477
01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:36,820
Move! Move!
1478
01:12:36,853 --> 01:12:38,388
♪ You better believe
1479
01:12:38,422 --> 01:12:41,190
♪ I'm not going away
1480
01:12:46,463 --> 01:12:48,131
(GROANING)
1481
01:12:55,304 --> 01:12:57,140
PJ!
1482
01:13:02,245 --> 01:13:03,279
(GRUNTS)
1483
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:12,288
Dad!
1484
01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:14,991
(GRUNTS)
1485
01:13:26,636 --> 01:13:29,105
Do it for Dad!
1486
01:14:02,639 --> 01:14:05,975
Yes! Yes! Yeah!
1487
01:14:06,009 --> 01:14:08,678
The Stone of Mitrios is mine!
1488
01:14:11,981 --> 01:14:13,583
RED TEAM MEMBER:
So close, too.
1489
01:14:13,617 --> 01:14:16,419
Who are you? You're
not even in the game!
1490
01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:19,455
Oh, yeah? Then why am I
holding the Stone of Mitrios?
1491
01:14:21,390 --> 01:14:22,926
(HORN HONKING)
1492
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,360
Here comes Jablowsky.
1493
01:14:25,194 --> 01:14:27,030
He's gonna crush you!
1494
01:14:27,063 --> 01:14:29,298
Well, actually, he's gonna
pay a guy to crush you.
1495
01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:35,539
Chuck Jablowsky.
1496
01:14:37,574 --> 01:14:41,678
Do you know what happens to people
that crash my paintball game?
1497
01:14:41,711 --> 01:14:45,048
You send them on their way with a
severe scolding and a free smart phone?
1498
01:14:45,081 --> 01:14:47,116
No, I pay a guy to crush them.
1499
01:14:47,150 --> 01:14:48,518
Told you so.
1500
01:14:48,552 --> 01:14:51,154
Unless you're wearing
my team uniform,
1501
01:14:51,187 --> 01:14:53,156
in which case, I win!
1502
01:14:53,189 --> 01:14:55,058
(ALL CHEERING)
1503
01:14:55,091 --> 01:14:56,960
That's my boy!
1504
01:14:56,993 --> 01:15:00,964
I'm the guy that lets him slack off
homework so he can play the game.
1505
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:04,701
Sir, thank you so much for not
paying a guy to crush us.
1506
01:15:04,734 --> 01:15:06,202
And may I say it's a huge honor
1507
01:15:06,235 --> 01:15:08,905
just to shake your
bizarrely small hand.
1508
01:15:08,938 --> 01:15:11,474
The pleasure's all mine, kid.
You won the game for me!
1509
01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:12,909
What can I do to repay you?
1510
01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:15,111
I believe a smart
phone was mentioned.
1511
01:15:17,446 --> 01:15:19,248
Actually, we need a lift.
1512
01:15:23,052 --> 01:15:25,755
Any chance the cook can make pancakes
shaped like Christmas trees?
1513
01:15:25,789 --> 01:15:27,557
He can barely make them round.
1514
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:35,699
I'm sorry you didn't get to watch
Charlie put the star on the tree.
1515
01:15:35,732 --> 01:15:39,636
Oh, that's okay, sweetie.
We'll have other Christmases.
1516
01:15:47,110 --> 01:15:48,878
(ALL YELLING)
1517
01:15:51,648 --> 01:15:53,549
How did you guys...
1518
01:15:53,583 --> 01:15:56,252
A buddy of mine triangulated your
cell phones and gave us a lift.
1519
01:15:56,285 --> 01:15:57,587
TEDDY: No way!
1520
01:15:58,121 --> 01:15:59,288
BOB: Thank you!
1521
01:16:00,456 --> 01:16:02,258
Bye! Thank you!
1522
01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:04,227
Thanks!
1523
01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:09,465
How did you guys get here?
1524
01:16:09,498 --> 01:16:11,234
Oh, you see that tandem bike?
Yeah.
1525
01:16:11,267 --> 01:16:13,937
We rode it here.
From Las Vegas.
1526
01:16:13,970 --> 01:16:15,672
Wow, that's like...
Ninety miles.
1527
01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:19,242
My butt hurts.
1528
01:16:19,275 --> 01:16:21,911
I just wish my parents
and Charlie were here.
1529
01:16:21,945 --> 01:16:23,279
(CAR HONKING)
Hey!
1530
01:16:24,848 --> 01:16:25,982
Hey!
1531
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:27,416
Hi!
1532
01:16:27,450 --> 01:16:28,885
Hi!
1533
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:30,253
Hey!
(HONKING)
1534
01:16:32,956 --> 01:16:34,924
BOB: Hey,
there's my girl!
1535
01:16:34,958 --> 01:16:37,260
Hi!
Charlie!
1536
01:16:37,293 --> 01:16:39,963
Who left my baby in the
middle of the desert?
1537
01:16:39,996 --> 01:16:41,931
There we go!
1538
01:16:41,965 --> 01:16:43,733
Good thing I took that shortcut,
or I never would have...
1539
01:16:43,767 --> 01:16:48,571
Hole in one! Is that
the Stone of Mitrios?
1540
01:16:48,604 --> 01:16:50,740
The real thing.
Did you finish the game?
1541
01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:54,010
Yeah, I did. I got thumb blisters
like you wouldn't believe.
1542
01:16:54,043 --> 01:16:55,779
Who's that?
Mama.
1543
01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:57,747
Who's that?
That's Mommy.
1544
01:16:57,781 --> 01:16:59,448
Petunia, how'd you get
the car seat to work?
1545
01:16:59,482 --> 01:17:00,950
It was easy.
1546
01:17:00,984 --> 01:17:02,919
This thing was stuck
in the mechanism.
1547
01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,454
It just about
fell out in my hands.
1548
01:17:06,823 --> 01:17:08,124
The star!
1549
01:17:08,157 --> 01:17:09,659
(ALL LAUGHING)
1550
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:12,628
AMY: Okay, Charlie!
You're on!
1551
01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,805
Way to carry on
the tradition, Charlie!
1552
01:17:23,707 --> 01:17:26,509
It certainly has been
a strange holiday.
1553
01:17:26,542 --> 01:17:31,014
Actually, Mom, I think this is the
best Christmas I've ever had.
1554
01:17:31,047 --> 01:17:33,482
Thanks for saying that, Mama.
1555
01:17:33,516 --> 01:17:35,952
I'll second that.
Best Christmas ever!
1556
01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:37,120
Thirded!
1557
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:38,487
Amen, brother!
Ow!
1558
01:17:39,555 --> 01:17:40,890
Dude, you...
1559
01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:43,993
Hi.
1560
01:17:44,027 --> 01:17:45,594
(GASPS) Dude!
Did you see that?
1561
01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:48,031
She just winked at me!
1562
01:17:48,064 --> 01:17:49,398
It's a Christmas miracle.
1563
01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:52,668
Who wants pancakes?
1564
01:17:52,702 --> 01:17:54,003
(ALL CHEERING)
1565
01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:56,940
Hey, look at this! They look
like little Christmas trees.
1566
01:17:58,441 --> 01:18:00,009
Speaking of
Christmas miracles...
1567
01:18:00,744 --> 01:18:01,911
I have another one.
1568
01:18:01,945 --> 01:18:03,346
Oh, I have to film this.
1569
01:18:07,784 --> 01:18:09,452
AMY: Okay, here goes.
1570
01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:11,921
Are you ready?
1571
01:18:11,955 --> 01:18:13,289
We're having another baby!
1572
01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:16,259
(ALL CHEERING)
1573
01:18:18,394 --> 01:18:22,498
Congratulations!
Mints all around!
1574
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:24,567
Well, I know one thing
you're good at.
1575
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,535
Making beautiful babies.
1576
01:18:28,104 --> 01:18:29,638
I love you, too, Petunia.
1577
01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:33,676
Well, it looks like you're
going to be a big sister, too.
1578
01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:35,211
Good luck, Charlie!
1579
01:18:39,615 --> 01:18:44,220
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
1580
01:18:48,157 --> 01:18:49,759
Sir, you're going to
have to check this. No.
1581
01:18:49,793 --> 01:18:52,061
No, I'm not...
Give me...
1582
01:18:52,095 --> 01:18:53,396
(GRUNTING)
1583
01:18:53,429 --> 01:18:54,898
Give it up, Gabe.
1584
01:18:57,300 --> 01:19:02,271
Ladies and gentlemen, due to our aggressive
policy of overselling all flights,
1585
01:19:02,305 --> 01:19:03,940
we are overbooked by one seat.
1586
01:19:03,973 --> 01:19:05,741
So if anyone wants
a free roundtrip...
1587
01:19:05,775 --> 01:19:07,010
Right here! Whoo!
1588
01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:11,747
Your turn.
1589
01:19:13,850 --> 01:19:15,819
We'll be back by New Year's.
1590
01:19:15,852 --> 01:19:17,353
No, you won't.
1591
01:19:24,027 --> 01:19:27,964
At what price, Teddy?
At what price?
1592
01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:30,133
I mean, what if we...
1593
01:19:30,166 --> 01:19:31,801
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1594
01:19:34,303 --> 01:19:35,805
(CHUCKLING)
1595
01:19:35,839 --> 01:19:37,974
What am I doing?
(LAUGHING)
1596
01:19:39,142 --> 01:19:40,609
MAN: Cut!
1597
01:19:40,643 --> 01:19:42,311
(BLEEP)
1598
01:19:42,345 --> 01:19:45,281
MAN: Set and action!
1599
01:19:45,314 --> 01:19:47,550
(IN SING-SONG VOICE)
Oh, hey. Oh, hey.
1600
01:19:48,317 --> 01:19:49,953
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1601
01:19:51,620 --> 01:19:53,289
Yeah.
Yeah.
1602
01:19:53,722 --> 01:19:55,024
And yoghurt.
1603
01:19:55,058 --> 01:19:57,360
(CHUCKLES) Yoghurt
isn't even on the menu.
1604
01:19:59,028 --> 01:20:00,796
Know what I mean?
(BLEEP)
1605
01:20:02,832 --> 01:20:04,767
I've no idea what
you're talking about.
1606
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:05,935
I do.
1607
01:20:05,969 --> 01:20:07,536
Bradley...
(CHUCKLES)
1608
01:20:08,872 --> 01:20:10,239
And gag reel.
116944
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