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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,482 ♪ If there's an ocean, it's just a puddle 2 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,351 ♪ That I've got to get across 3 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:20,388 ♪ Any mountain I'll climb over 4 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,591 ♪ Like a kid on the monkey bars 5 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,594 ♪ I know you're out there somewhere 6 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,697 ♪ I know you'll miss me just like I miss you 7 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,600 ♪ No matter what I'll get there 8 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,269 ♪ And you know I'll never stop 9 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:38,906 ♪ I'm gonna run, run, run, run, run 10 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,242 ♪ I'm gonna run to you 11 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:44,712 ♪ I'm gonna run, run, run, run, run 12 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,781 ♪ I'm gonna run to you 13 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:51,119 ♪ You know I'll find you I'm never far behind you 14 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,454 ♪ I swear these words are true 15 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:57,057 ♪ I'm gonna run, run, run, run, run 16 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,627 ♪ I'm gonna run to you 17 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,896 ♪ Every minute 18 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,567 ♪ I'm getting closer I'm gonna show you 19 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,272 ♪ Any second I'll run through that door 20 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:15,042 ♪ Here I come, yeah! 21 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,611 ♪ Oh, here I come 22 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:21,249 ♪ I'm gonna run, run, run, run, run 23 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,551 ♪ I'm gonna run to you 24 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:27,087 ♪ I'm gonna run, run, run, run, run 25 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,823 ♪ I'm gonna run to you 26 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,598 Guess what, Charlie? 27 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,333 We're one day away from going on your first trip on an airplane 28 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,068 and celebrating our first Christmas 29 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,070 at Grandma and Grandpa's new condo in Palm Springs! 30 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,505 You're going to have so much fun. 31 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,840 No, no, no, Mom, you have to toddler-proof the place. 32 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,576 Just so long as you don't touch anything. 33 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,245 No, anything breakable has to be at least three feet off the ground. 34 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,346 (SHATTERING) 35 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,315 Uh-oh. 36 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,285 Make that four. I gotta go. 37 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,852 Charlie, get back in here! 38 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,855 No, no, no, stay away, there's shards everywhere! 39 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,857 Are you eating a cookie in the living room? 40 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,259 You get back here! 41 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,994 And stay away! 42 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,562 Mom's a little frazzled. 43 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,367 Mom, why are you so stressed out? 44 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,636 Because this is an extremely important Christmas. 45 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,004 Why? 46 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,672 Because! 47 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,408 Of... The... 48 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,178 Because we're going to Palm Springs! 49 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,614 Why is that more stressful? 50 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,616 You don't have to cook, you don't have to clean. 51 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,451 You can just sit out by the pool. 52 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:34,121 At what price, Teddy? At what price? 53 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,525 What if we lose the things that make Christmas in Denver so special? 54 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,661 Like the blizzards? The endless chapped lips? 55 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:45,466 Listening to Mrs. Dabney's talking Santa go "Ho, ho, ho," 56 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,402 on an endless, rip-your- own-eardrums-out loop? 57 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,539 No, I'm talking about our family traditions! 58 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,140 Mom, I'm pretty sure Dad's going to overeat 59 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,842 and get heartburn no matter where we are. 60 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,645 No. The good traditions! 61 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:02,250 Like making little tree-shaped pancakes on Christmas morning! 62 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,084 We can do that at Grandma's. 63 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,355 I'm pretty sure flour and eggs are available nationwide. 64 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,856 Okay. What about... 65 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,860 What about the star? 66 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,061 What? 67 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,297 The star on the tree tradition. 68 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,669 Where your father takes the littlest Duncan in his arms 69 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,537 and lifts her high to the heavens, 70 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,940 to crown the tree with its finest jewel. 71 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,742 That is so not a big deal. 72 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,110 Are you kidding me? 73 00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,280 Do you know how important that is to your sister? 74 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:37,685 Look, Charlie! It's the star! 75 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,920 And what do we do with it on Christmas Eve? 76 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:42,923 No, no, no, we don't eat the star. 77 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,225 (CHUCKLES) 78 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,727 No, no, no, we do not throw the star. 79 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,928 We are not Christmas ninjas. 80 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,298 See? Not a big deal. 81 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,701 ROBOTIC SANTA: Ho, ho, ho. 82 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,470 (EXCLAIMS) It is so cold out there, 83 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,806 I'm pretty sure I saw a snowman shivering! 84 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,441 PJ, will you tell your sister 85 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:03,444 how important the star on the Christmas tree tradition is. 86 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,745 The what? On the what? 87 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,113 (GROANS) Whatever. 88 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,383 Guys, check this out. 89 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,319 Snowmen! 90 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,620 You bought a Christmas swimsuit? 91 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,356 Uh, no, I bought 92 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,460 two Christmas swimsuits. 93 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,462 Well, that was money well spent. 94 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:22,930 I know! 95 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,399 I cannot wait to get to sunny Palm Springs, 96 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,101 where the only thing that's frozen are the slushies. 97 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,337 ROBOTIC SANTA: Ho, ho, ho. 98 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,839 Wow. That never gets old. Hey! 99 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,143 Look what I got for 30 bucks. 100 00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,346 A stroller? Yeah, a stroller. 101 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,515 And a car seat! And an airplane seat! 102 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,751 And it's completely convertible! 103 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,918 I press this button right here, 104 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,820 the whole thing retracts. 105 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,725 In theory. 106 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,198 (GRUNTING) Come on! 107 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,305 It was 30 bucks! (SIGHS) 108 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,274 Will you please tell your kids 109 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,777 how important the star on the tree tradition is? 110 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,445 Uh, kids, very important. 111 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,947 What is? The thing that your mom said. 112 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,683 (SIGHS) Whatever. 113 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,919 (GRUNTS) 114 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,489 (SNAPPING) 115 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,526 Ow! Ow! 116 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:37,905 Gabe. 117 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,873 Gabe. 118 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,677 Gabe! 119 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:48,215 What? I'm only 15 levels away from capturing the Stone of Mitrios. 120 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,917 Galaxy of Death Two is totally addictive! 121 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,885 (GASPS) 122 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,221 How is it that you're already playing your Christmas present? 123 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,023 Did I say two? 124 00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,428 I meant one. Galaxy of Death One. 125 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,996 Obviously! 'Cause to play Two, 126 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,198 I would've had to figure out where you hid the presents, 127 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,067 secretly unwrap mine, take out the game disk, 128 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,769 rewrap the empty box, and, um... 129 00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,105 Have I told you lately how much I love you? 130 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,744 How important is the star on the tree tradition to you? 131 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,045 How important do you want it to be? 132 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,246 Wouldn't be Christmas without it. 133 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,514 It really wouldn't. 134 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,215 Tell your siblings that? 135 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,752 I'll tell everybody that! I'll call random strangers and tell them! 136 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,954 Excellent. 137 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,256 Oh. Can I bring my game system to Grandma's? 138 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,791 No, you may not. 139 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,225 Okay. No big deal. 140 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,027 (GAME RESUMES) 141 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,430 And I will be searching your luggage before we leave. 142 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,731 Dang it! 143 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:42,570 "If handles do not retract, apply gentle pressure." 144 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,771 (GRUNTING) 145 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,706 You know, it might be a feature. 146 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,710 Like it's a combination car-seat-stroller-exercise-machine. 147 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,011 (DOORBELL CHIMES) 148 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,715 Okay, just so you know, Teddy, 149 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:58,786 that star on the tree tradition means everything to your brother Gabe! 150 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,488 (SNIFFLES) Where is it? 151 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,058 ROBOTIC SANTA: Ho, ho, ho. 152 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,761 Can it, Santa! Hey. Hi, Mr. D. 153 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,597 (GRUNTING) Hey! 154 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,264 Wow. What's going on in here? 155 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,566 We're going to Palm Springs for Christmas. 156 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,067 Oh, right! 157 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,138 Two plane rides to exotic destinations in four months. 158 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,941 You did tell your parents about Spring Break, right? 159 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,943 We have to book those tickets by next week. 160 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,745 No, I know! I know! I'm just waiting for a good time to ask. 161 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,113 Is now a good time? 162 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,749 Really? 163 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,851 I can't find the star, okay? Umm. 164 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,921 No star! Christmas is ruined! 165 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,489 (WEEPING) 166 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,258 All right. Not a good time. 167 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,794 But just remember, if you don't book that ticket soon, 168 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,830 you're gonna be spending Spring Break right on that couch. 169 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,898 ROBOTIC SANTA: Ho, ho, ho. And I'm going out the back. 170 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,302 Oh! Victory! (WHOOPS) 171 00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,704 (CHEERING) 172 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,974 So... Dad. 173 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,443 Daddy-o. 174 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,946 Big D. Don't add to the stress, kiddo. 175 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,281 Why are you guys so on edge? 176 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,384 And why's Mom freaking out about that stupid star on the tree? 177 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,120 Honey, because sometimes the thing that you focus on 178 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,889 isn't the thing that's causing all the stress. 179 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,958 So what is? 180 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,493 The... Well, it's... 181 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,063 The... 182 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:19,232 The first time we're spending Christmas 183 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,234 at your grandparents' new place in Palm Springs. 184 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,670 So? 185 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,404 So... 186 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,074 So, when I married your mom, 187 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,577 your grandmother thought... 188 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,478 Your grandmother thought I was an idiot 189 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,080 that had ruined her daughter's life. 190 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,916 This is my chance to change that impression. 191 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,386 Dad, you've been spending Christmas with Grandma for 20 years. 192 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,788 And I really think this is my year. 193 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,156 What? 194 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,659 Oh! Mom, Mom, Mom. Okay, so... 195 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,761 Ivy and I have this awesome opportunity! 196 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:50,598 Her aunt lives in Florida. On the beach! 197 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,000 And she said that Ivy and I could stay with her over Spring Break. 198 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,035 Isn't that great? Yeah, sure. 199 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,104 If you were 23 years old. 200 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,907 Teddy, you are too young to go across the country without an adult. 201 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,441 Mom, that is so unfair! 202 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:05,178 End of story! We are not spending another minute discussing this. 203 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,180 TEDDY: But, Mom, you let me baby-sit Charlie. 204 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,749 AMY: Why are we still discussing this? 205 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,250 Because it's not right. 206 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,752 You know what's not right? 207 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,421 A 14-hour argument when there's nothing to argue about. 208 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,089 For the last time, no! 209 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,258 (SNORTS) She thinks that's going to be the last time. 210 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,627 (LAUGHS) 211 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,261 So I'm old enough to take care of Charlie but not myself? 212 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,896 Mom, that doesn't make any sense! 213 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,765 Sweetheart, I'm your mother, I never make sense. 214 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,533 (SIGHS) Okay, let me rephrase this. 215 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,268 Please, please, please, please, please... 216 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:31,772 All right. Honey, I got this. 217 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,774 Okay, kiddo, I'll tell you what. 218 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,744 If you can be responsible enough to buy your own plane ticket, 219 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,379 then you are responsible enough to go to Florida on your own. 220 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,648 Bob! Dad, that's impossible! 221 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,282 I have to buy the ticket by next week! 222 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,584 Ooh. Not so easy being an adult, is it? 223 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,355 See that? Problem solved. 224 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,293 Oh, no! 225 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,196 Metal detectors! 226 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,132 Relax. I think you'll make it. 227 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,068 As long as you're not smuggling anything! 228 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,302 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 229 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,178 Sir, could you please retract that stroller? 230 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,146 Probably not without pulling a muscle. 231 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,888 You all right, dude? You look a little sweaty. 232 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,958 I'm fine. Yeah. I'm fine. I'm cool. 233 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,195 Come on, son. 234 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,031 (ALARM BLARING) 235 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,200 Code red! Code red! Hands in the air! 236 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,535 Code red! Code red! This is a code red! 237 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,070 GUARD: Hang on, please, don't move. 238 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,639 (LAUGHS) 239 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,375 He is not the wisest man in the manger, is he? 240 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,813 Who would try to smuggle a game system without a controller? 241 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,047 (ALARM BLARING) 242 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,617 (EXCLAIMS) Whoa! 243 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,820 How did that get there? 244 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,988 You're a really heavy sleeper. 245 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,794 Okay, you're clear to go. 246 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:04,064 And thank you for the extremely thorough search. 247 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,367 You guys, our flight leaves in two minutes! Go! Run! 248 00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:11,872 Okay. 249 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,075 Bob! Hurry! 250 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,276 Right behind you! 251 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,614 Okay, honey, you know what? 252 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,218 We're going for a sleigh ride! 253 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,520 ♪ I said run, run, Rudolph 254 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,790 ♪ Santa's gotta make it to town 255 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,727 ♪ Santa, make him hurry 256 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:36,463 ♪ Tell him he can take the freeway down 257 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,433 ♪ Run, run, Rudolph 258 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,936 ♪ 'Cause I'm racin' like a merry go round 259 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,940 ♪ Said Santa to a boy child 260 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,542 ♪ What have you been longing for? 261 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,213 ♪ All I want for Christmas 262 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,783 ♪ Is a rock 'n' roll electric guitar 263 00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,920 ♪ And away went Rudolph 264 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:04,057 ♪ Whizzing like a shooting star, yeah 265 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,626 ♪ I said run, run, Rudolph 266 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,930 ♪ Run, run, Rudolph 267 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,264 ♪ Yeah 268 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,133 ♪ Run, run, Rudolph 269 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,636 ♪ I said run, run, Rudolph 270 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,239 ♪ Run, run, Rudolph 271 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,740 (GRUNTS) 272 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,877 You didn't need to do that, sir. We saw you coming. 273 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,613 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town ♪ 274 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:32,752 Can I buy a headset? 275 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:33,787 Sure. 276 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,224 Look at you. 277 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,160 All that joy, trapped in a skinny, little box. 278 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,796 Oh, so sad. 279 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,966 Dude. You didn't even bring the game with you. 280 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,101 (EXCLAIMS) 281 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,270 Yeah, I did. 282 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,538 (GRUNTS) 283 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,642 There. Finally. 284 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,012 It's fine. We'll leave it up. 285 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,114 Sir, can you put that handle down? 286 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,182 Can you? 287 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,051 I'll get it. 288 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,120 If I can have your attention. 289 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,956 We are overbooked by one seat. 290 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,291 So we're looking for a volunteer to take a later flight 291 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,961 in exchange for a free round trip ticket to any destination. 292 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,628 Me! 293 00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,699 What are you doing? 294 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,668 I'm being responsible! For getting a plane ticket to Spring Break. 295 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,003 I'll be on the next flight out! 296 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,171 Are you going to let her do that? 297 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,472 Little busy here, honey. 298 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,806 I'll meet you guys in Palm Springs! 299 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,476 Probably just be a couple hours behind you. 300 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,644 I have to go with her, right? Uh-huh. 301 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,716 (SHOUTS) Yes! 302 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,785 There we go! That's the way to do it! 303 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,121 There you go. Yeah, baby! 304 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,257 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 305 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,327 Where's your mom? 306 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,197 You know, ma'am, we only asked for the one volunteer. 307 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,233 You think I'm going to let my daughter get off the plane by herself? 308 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,535 You want to tell me how to be a parent? You want to go there? 309 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,371 No, ma'am. No, I don't. 310 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,874 Here's your free ticket. 311 00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,243 And let's see about getting both of you 312 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,045 on the next available flight. 313 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,114 Which is... 314 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,150 ...in three days. What? 315 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,419 Okay, Mom, I am going to show you how responsible I am. 316 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,254 Okay? Let me handle this. 317 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:18,258 You don't really mean three days, do you? 318 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,659 Yes, I do. 319 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,861 That's the next flight that isn't fully booked. 320 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,063 It is the holidays. 321 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,233 But it won't be in three days. 322 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:30,070 That's December 26th. Christmas will be over. 323 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,172 I'm sorry. It's the best we can do. 324 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,373 Oh. 325 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,909 I think we can do better. 326 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:39,579 Ma'am, are you telling me how to do my job? 327 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,381 Do you want to go there? 328 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,584 Oh, yeah. I want to go there. 329 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,923 Guys, guys, put me down. Put me down! 330 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:52,960 Really very unnecessary! 331 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,427 Mom, you shouldn't have hit her. 332 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:58,065 I didn't hit her! I was gesturing for emphasis. 333 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,799 Mom, you gestured her right in the nose! 334 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,435 What's gotten into you? 335 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:06,539 Teddy, we're 1000 miles from Palm Springs and we can't get a flight! 336 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,874 We're going to miss Christmas! 337 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,609 Mom, Mom, Mom, don't freak out! 338 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,544 I will find a way to get us to Palm Springs. 339 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,912 How? 340 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,281 Well... 341 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,150 Wait for it. 342 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,621 Bus! 343 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,756 I could've thought of that. 344 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,164 Well, Charlie, here we are, on our luxury motor coach. 345 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:34,834 For our brief, 18-hour ride to Palm Springs. 346 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,803 Too bad the video can't quite capture the smell. 347 00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,638 (CHICKENS CLUCKING) 348 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:42,042 Look, someone brought livestock! Is that even legal? 349 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,613 TEDDY: Look, Charlie, we found you a boyfriend. 350 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,450 That might have been my last video diary. 351 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,929 Yes! This is what I've always wanted, man. 352 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,297 An 80 degree Christmas. 353 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,765 Man, this is beautiful. 354 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,535 Hey, honey. Honey? Where are you? 355 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,104 On a bus. But don't worry, 356 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:14,674 we'll be there in just 18 short hours! 357 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,477 You're gonna leave me alone with your mother for 18 hours? 358 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,280 Well, honey, my dad's there. 359 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,781 Form an alliance with him. 360 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,617 And just keep her focused on the kids. She loves them. 361 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,986 Oh, my gosh. I think my seat has bedbugs! 362 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,622 He's taking the chickens out of the cage! I gotta go! Bye! 363 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,058 He's what... Honey? 364 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,660 Honey? 365 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,162 What's the matter, Dad? 366 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,896 Your mom's delayed 367 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,699 and the chickens are out of the cages, whatever that means. 368 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,369 All right, guys. One rule. 369 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,572 Do not leave me alone in a room with Grandma. 370 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,507 I heard that. Oh, hey! 371 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,709 GABE: Grandma! 372 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,744 (SIGHING) 373 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:55,548 Oh! My little angels! 374 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,850 Hi! 375 00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,886 Gramps! How you doing? 376 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,691 Okay. 377 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:08,661 (GASPS) Sweet Charlie! Look how you've grown! 378 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,663 Who wants a mint? 379 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,665 Hey, Hank! How are you? 380 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,535 Well, I only got half a kidney left, but I'm still here. 381 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,438 Mint? Okay. 382 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,341 Where's my daughter and Teddy? 383 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,511 Um, they're on a bus. 384 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,047 You couldn't kill enough bugs to pay for two extra plane tickets? 385 00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,283 Zing! Good one, Grandma! 386 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,451 In your face! 387 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,752 Petunia, it's just a little mix-up. 388 00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,421 They're gonna be here tomorrow. 389 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:38,625 All aboard! Next stop, Fountain of Youth Condominiums. 390 00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:42,162 Wow. Grandpa, how'd you get an antique like this? 391 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,797 I bought it new. 392 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,806 This could be fun! 393 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,974 Right? 394 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:59,078 Look, I bought magazines at the bus station. 395 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,448 Yeah, I'm not really up for reading right now. 396 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,082 Oh, don't worry, these are fashion magazines. 397 00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,617 They don't require any reading at all! 398 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,286 Mmm. 399 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,758 You okay? You look a little green. 400 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,261 Yeah, I think I'm getting a little carsick. 401 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,895 Can I borrow your bag? 402 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,764 Let me just take the magazines... (RETCHES) 403 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,267 ...out. 404 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,335 Oh, that is... Not over yet! 405 00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,803 (RETCHES) 406 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,407 Wow, Mom. 407 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,676 That's a really harsh review of the spring line. 408 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,919 PJ: Goodbye, freezing snowmen, 409 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,823 hello smoking-hot granddaughters. 410 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,592 Their mothers aren't bad either! 411 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,760 Oh, hey! 412 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,329 By the way, speaking of hot, 413 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,831 make sure you wear your sunblock. The sun here is brutal. 414 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,333 Do they make holiday sunblock? 415 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,134 One that smells like eggnog instead of coconut? 416 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,471 Do you know what he's talking about? 417 00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,972 Not at all. 418 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,475 His brain works differently than ours do. 419 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,947 (CHUCKLES) Come on in. 420 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,516 Kiddie suite to the left. 421 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,150 To the left, kiddie suite to the left. 422 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,819 Don't touch the pillow mints. 423 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,521 They're for later. 424 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,690 All right. 425 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,693 You know, Charlie's at a pretty rambunctious age. 426 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,729 I mean, you, uh... 427 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,897 You did child-proof the place, right? 428 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,733 Of course! Everything's been put away 429 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,535 except the Christmas decorations. 430 00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:31,204 Just keep her away from the low-hanging tree ornaments. 431 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:35,242 And my antique nativity scene. 432 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,645 And especially Santa's reindeer. 433 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,749 It's priceless. They haven't made one like that in 50 years. 434 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,116 Santa! 435 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,420 Oh! No, no! No! No, no, no. 436 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:51,758 (LAUGHS) No! No, no, no, no. 437 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,261 Any chance we could put this stuff away? 438 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,497 Don't be ridiculous! Just tell her not to touch them. 439 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,866 You did have kids once, right? 440 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,269 Yes. Ours were well-behaved 441 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,537 because we knew how to parent them. 442 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,706 Okay. 443 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,743 (AMY RETCHING) (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 444 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,412 Hey, Mom, you okay? 445 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,181 Just peachy, sweetheart... (RETCHING) 446 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,785 Okay, 'cause somebody's been waiting for over an hour. 447 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,753 You probably wouldn't want to go in there anyway. 448 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,722 (TOILET FLUSHING) 449 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,491 (EXCLAIMS) Hold the phone! 450 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,632 Keep her away from my chickens. 451 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,335 (MUTTERING) 452 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,206 (AMY SIGHS) That mountain air is nice. 453 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,774 Shouldn't we be finding a doctor? 454 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,810 I'm fine! I was just a little carsick. 455 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:47,246 (SCOFFS) That's like calling World War II just a little disagreement. 456 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,249 Oh, look at you, staying awake during history class. 457 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,984 Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry, 458 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,420 but I can't let you back on the bus. 459 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,788 The other passengers refuse to travel with you. 460 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,123 What? 461 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,060 Okay. Listen, people, 462 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,129 I didn't want to get on this stinking bus in the first place! 463 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,433 Ah, you think that's funny? 464 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,636 Mom, you might want to be careful. 465 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,271 The chickens are getting into their fighting position. 466 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:15,608 So what I think my mom is trying to express 467 00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,610 is it's a little bit unfair that you're letting 468 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,580 the chicken man on the bus, but not us. 469 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,115 Yeah, but the chickens aren't grossing everybody out. 470 00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,250 (EXCLAIMS) 471 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,419 Okay, bus jockey, here's how it's gonna go. 472 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:30,122 You are going to let us on this luxury motor coach or it is going to get ugly. 473 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,193 (AMY GRUMBLING) 474 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,595 Just let it go, ma'am. 475 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,430 For the last time, I didn't hit anybody. 476 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,333 Yeah, I know. You were just gesturing for emphasis. 477 00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,268 Is there a train station around here? 478 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,271 Oh, yeah, sure. Historical society runs it. 479 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,641 Of course, there hasn't been an actual train there since the late 1800s. 480 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,478 Butch Cassidy robbed it once! 481 00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,946 Oh. How about a rental car place? 482 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:57,550 Maybe try Lenny's. Just up the hill about eight miles. 483 00:21:57,584 --> 00:22:00,720 I'd take you there myself, but rush hour's starting 484 00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:03,623 and someone's gotta turn on the traffic light. 485 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,525 But don't worry, you start walking now, 486 00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,959 you'll make it there by sundown. 487 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,728 (SOBBING) 488 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,630 We're gonna miss Christmas. 489 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:14,834 No, no, Mom. No, we're not! It's just eight miles! 490 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,738 And then, like, another 800. 491 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:22,642 Going to be after sundown if you can't walk and cry at the same time. 492 00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,144 How about you show a little compassion, mister? 493 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,980 Come on. Oh, this stinks! 494 00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:31,418 Who says I can't walk and cry at the same time. You watch me! 495 00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:34,220 (WAILING) 496 00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:36,322 I bet your father's warm and dry, 497 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,025 and probably snuggled up on the couch with the kids, 498 00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:41,193 watching a sweet, little Christmas movie. 499 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,295 (ROARING) 500 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,301 Oh! 501 00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,077 (ROARING) 502 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,780 (FOOTSTEPS THUMPING) 503 00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:15,995 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 504 00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,507 (SCREECHING) 505 00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:46,959 No! 506 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:13,620 No! No! No! No! 507 00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:17,389 No! No! 508 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,596 No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 509 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,431 Bob! 510 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,867 What are you doing with my reindeer? 511 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,436 Bad Daddy. 512 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,906 Good girl, Charlie. At least someone knows how to behave. 513 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,848 (TOILET FLUSHING) 514 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:50,122 Hey, there! Why the glum look? 515 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:51,991 Here, have a mint. 516 00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:55,161 Thanks, Grandpa. 517 00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,329 I'm just all ripped up inside. 518 00:24:57,363 --> 00:24:59,566 I lost my best friend today. 519 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:03,035 Oh, I'm so sorry, kiddo. 520 00:25:03,069 --> 00:25:05,572 Oh! What was his name? 521 00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:08,675 Z-Station Deluxe Home Gaming System. 522 00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:11,544 Oh. Heck, I got one of those. 523 00:25:11,578 --> 00:25:12,912 What? 524 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:16,148 Oh, you're the greatest grandpa in the history of grandpas! 525 00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,550 So what games do you have? 526 00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:18,785 Golf. 527 00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,520 And? 528 00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:22,755 What more would I need? 529 00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:26,525 Oh, Grandpa, put down your putter. 530 00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:30,029 There's a whole other world out there. 531 00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:33,099 Allow me to introduce you to the work of Chuck Jablowsky, 532 00:25:33,132 --> 00:25:36,603 one of the greatest video game designers in human history. 533 00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:40,272 "Galaxy of Death Two"? 534 00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:42,208 What's that got to do with golf? 535 00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:45,311 (CHUCKLES) Absolutely nothing. 536 00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:47,880 (AMY CRYING) 537 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,488 Mom, if you cry any louder you'll trigger an avalanche. 538 00:25:57,489 --> 00:26:00,059 It's Christmas Eve eve, Teddy. 539 00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:02,261 I want to be with my baby. 540 00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:04,230 And my other babies. 541 00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:05,932 And my big daddy baby. 542 00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:07,533 Mom, I will get us there! 543 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,202 I will, but you've got to chill out. 544 00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:12,438 'Cause every five minutes, you're either punching somebody 545 00:26:12,471 --> 00:26:15,274 or bursting into tears. 546 00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:17,910 Hey, what was with that star-on-the-tree freak-out yesterday? 547 00:26:17,944 --> 00:26:19,245 Well, that... 548 00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:21,614 Look, it's Lenny's! 549 00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:27,754 We walked eight miles for that? 550 00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:30,957 (SOBBING) 551 00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:38,097 Hey. 552 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,733 Hi! You must be Lenny. 553 00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,968 Nope. I'm Daryl. 554 00:26:42,635 --> 00:26:44,236 Are you sure about that? 555 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,706 Yeah, I bought Lenny out. 556 00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:49,676 This came with the place. 557 00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:52,611 I thought I'd keep the name for marketing purposes. 558 00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:56,015 Plus the jumpsuit fit. 559 00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:59,151 Well, sort of. Lenny's kind of got monkey arms. 560 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,288 Do you rent cars, by any chance? 561 00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:03,823 Let me think. 562 00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:06,292 No. 563 00:27:06,325 --> 00:27:08,127 Y'all need a ride somewhere? 564 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,428 Palm Springs. 565 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,430 Oh, that's a skooch out of my way. 566 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,600 Well, do you know any place we can rent a car? 567 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:16,035 Well, if you take this road right here, 568 00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:18,604 and you go about 600 miles you'll hit Las Vegas. 569 00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,172 (WHINING) 570 00:27:20,873 --> 00:27:22,641 Aw. 571 00:27:22,675 --> 00:27:24,376 You in a tough spot, hon? 572 00:27:24,410 --> 00:27:26,445 (SQUEAKILY) Mmm-hmm. 573 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:28,147 Tell you what, 574 00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:30,616 I do have an old Yugo I could sell you. 575 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,051 A Yugo? Mmm-hmm. 576 00:27:32,084 --> 00:27:34,620 What's a Yugo? 577 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:37,957 It's a car that's 10 years older than you, 578 00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:41,160 built in a country that no longer exists. 579 00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:42,428 It's 50 bucks. 580 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:44,596 BOTH: We'll take it. 581 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:51,904 Okay, 50 bucks. Yup, worth every penny. 582 00:27:51,938 --> 00:27:53,372 Every penny. 583 00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:58,911 Now, you might want to baby her a little. 584 00:27:58,945 --> 00:28:00,112 She's seen better days. 585 00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:02,248 When? 586 00:28:02,281 --> 00:28:05,351 Hey, Daryl, are you sure it won't fall apart at 60 miles an hour? 587 00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:08,755 Oh, don't worry, she won't go near that speed. 588 00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,323 (METAL CREAKING) 589 00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:12,759 Good luck! 590 00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,928 Oh, if you're gonna use the radio, 591 00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:17,897 you're gonna need this. 592 00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:26,105 I got you! I got you! 593 00:28:27,606 --> 00:28:29,108 (GRUNTS) 594 00:28:30,777 --> 00:28:33,079 Oh, they got me! 595 00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:35,181 Yes! You're dead! Can I play now? 596 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:37,750 No, it's too late! I respawned. 597 00:28:37,784 --> 00:28:39,585 Grandpa, that's not fair! 598 00:28:39,618 --> 00:28:41,620 Let me just level up again! 599 00:28:41,653 --> 00:28:43,856 You've been saying that for two hours! 600 00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:45,591 I'm starting to worry about you! 601 00:28:45,624 --> 00:28:47,927 This is really unhealthy. 602 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,962 You love your grandpa, right? 603 00:28:49,996 --> 00:28:51,898 Of course I do. 604 00:28:51,931 --> 00:28:54,566 Then tell me how to get past the Plains of Fire. 605 00:28:55,601 --> 00:28:57,103 Who do I have to take out first, 606 00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:59,505 the guys in the Tower of Doom, or the ones on the ground? 607 00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:04,243 Neither. 608 00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:06,779 You sneak around the ridge and attack from behind. 609 00:29:06,813 --> 00:29:09,748 Plus there's an extra power-up behind that boulder. 610 00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:12,418 You're a good boy. Take a mint. 611 00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:13,853 No, I'm good. 612 00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:18,290 Honey. Come on, don't you want to find out 613 00:29:18,324 --> 00:29:19,691 what happened at the hippos' picnic? 614 00:29:20,192 --> 00:29:21,327 No! 615 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,095 Well, you can't expect her to love books 616 00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:25,164 if you never read to her at home. 617 00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:26,899 I read to her all the time. 618 00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:28,100 Nuh-uh! 619 00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:36,142 Wow, I met so many hot babes at the pool. 620 00:29:36,175 --> 00:29:38,544 Literally, it's, like, 110 degrees out there. 621 00:29:39,645 --> 00:29:40,913 What happened to you? 622 00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:42,681 I fell asleep at the pool for a few hours. 623 00:29:42,714 --> 00:29:44,951 But don't worry, I was wearing this. 624 00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:51,023 PJ, this isn't sunblock. This is suntan oil! 625 00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,491 What's the difference? 626 00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,126 One protects your skin from the harmful rays, 627 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,096 the other fries you like a wonton. 628 00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,466 Oh. No wonder I was feeling a little crispy. 629 00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:02,935 You've just been raising yourself, haven't you? 630 00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:04,803 You want to come live with us? 631 00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:08,140 (LAUGHING) 632 00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:12,444 Way to get in the Christmas spirit, Santa Claus! 633 00:30:12,478 --> 00:30:13,645 (GROANS) 634 00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:15,848 Gabe! 635 00:30:15,882 --> 00:30:18,817 Sorry. Know what will make that feel better? 636 00:30:18,851 --> 00:30:20,386 A nice, hot shower. 637 00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:21,653 Really? Yeah. 638 00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:23,689 The ignorance! 639 00:30:23,722 --> 00:30:26,125 It's like you've been raised by wolves! 640 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:27,226 Fat wolves. 641 00:30:28,694 --> 00:30:31,697 Man, first I was freezing, now I'm burning up. 642 00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:33,432 This is not the vacation I dreamed of. 643 00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:35,767 (GLASS SHATTERING) 644 00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:38,104 (EXCLAIMS) 645 00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:43,042 (SIGHS) Me neither. 646 00:30:47,613 --> 00:30:50,549 This should be a good place for a time-out. 647 00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:52,584 (CHUCKLES) I don't think Charlie needs a time-out. 648 00:30:52,618 --> 00:30:54,820 Of course not! She's an angel! 649 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,555 I'm talking about you. 650 00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:59,926 Now you just sit there 651 00:30:59,959 --> 00:31:04,063 and think about what it means to be a good parent. 652 00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,265 You want to make cookies with Grandma? 653 00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:07,799 Yay! Yay! 654 00:31:11,037 --> 00:31:12,271 Bad Daddy. 655 00:31:13,239 --> 00:31:14,440 No cookies. 656 00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:20,479 Oh, this is not happening. 657 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,788 This is happening. 658 00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:35,061 (ENGINE SPUTTERING) 659 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:42,268 What are you doing? 660 00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:44,971 I think it helps if we lean forward. 661 00:31:45,004 --> 00:31:47,373 Is there any way we can go around the mountains? 662 00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:51,110 Oh, sure, honey. Just take a left at Mexico and swing back around. 663 00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:53,712 Sweetie, would you turn the headlights on? 664 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,547 They are on. No, they're not. 665 00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:58,217 Then we don't have any. 666 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,952 Great. Let me check the owner's manual. 667 00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,421 (COUGHS) 668 00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:10,429 Ah. What's Serbian for "headlight"? 669 00:32:11,964 --> 00:32:13,599 Are you sure you don't want me to drive? 670 00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:15,767 No. I can handle it. 671 00:32:15,801 --> 00:32:17,269 I'm a responsible adult, 672 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,138 who can go on Spring Break 673 00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:21,507 without another responsible adult, because I am one. 674 00:32:21,974 --> 00:32:23,609 Myself. 675 00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:25,144 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 676 00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:30,582 Hi, honey! How's your vacation? 677 00:32:30,616 --> 00:32:32,151 Your mother locked me in a bedroom. 678 00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:33,252 Oh, what did you do? 679 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,254 I didn't do anything! 680 00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,823 (SIGHS) When are you going to get here? 681 00:32:37,856 --> 00:32:39,825 Uh, well, at the speed we're going, 682 00:32:39,858 --> 00:32:41,427 I'd say Groundhog Day. 683 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,762 (SIGHS) Please hurry. 684 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,665 Honey, I'm doing the best I can. We're in a Yugo. 685 00:32:46,698 --> 00:32:49,935 No, no, they're not still making those. 686 00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:52,171 Do you speak Serbian? No, wait... 687 00:32:52,204 --> 00:32:54,306 Maybe it's Croatian. 688 00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:56,808 You want the kids to translate it on the Internet? 689 00:32:56,842 --> 00:32:59,378 I suppose I could yell at them through a heating duct. 690 00:32:59,411 --> 00:33:03,149 The kids! Are they having a good time? Where are they? 691 00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:06,685 Uh, Charlie's with your mom. Gabe's with your dad. 692 00:33:06,718 --> 00:33:09,121 And... (PJ SCREAMING) 693 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:12,024 Well, sounds like PJ just got in the shower. 694 00:33:12,058 --> 00:33:13,992 Oh! Mom! The road's leveling out. 695 00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:17,229 Oh, oh! Gotta go! We're kicking it up to 10 miles an hour! Love you! 696 00:33:17,263 --> 00:33:18,664 No, no, no. Don't... 697 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:21,067 (SIGHING) 698 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,568 Look! 699 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,504 Oh! What a relief. 700 00:33:25,537 --> 00:33:28,607 Okay, it's all downhill from here. Literally. 701 00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:38,550 Oh. Uh, you can slow down a little bit. 702 00:33:38,584 --> 00:33:39,718 Yeah, I'm trying. 703 00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:41,420 Whoa, whoa, slow down. I can't! 704 00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:43,089 Put your foot on the brake! It's the one on the left! 705 00:33:43,122 --> 00:33:44,523 I know! It's not working! 706 00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,158 Okay, okay, don't panic! 707 00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:47,593 I'm not panicking! 708 00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:48,960 (SCREAMING) 709 00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:55,901 Okay. Okay. Remember you are an excellent driver. 710 00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:57,569 You really think so? 711 00:33:57,603 --> 00:34:00,406 Right this second, I think it's very important that you think so. 712 00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:04,610 (TIRES SCREECHING) 713 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:06,912 Okay. Okay. 714 00:34:06,945 --> 00:34:08,247 Try the parking brake! 715 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,481 Oh, great. 716 00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:12,084 Uh, here you go. 717 00:34:12,118 --> 00:34:13,585 What am I supposed to do with this? 718 00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:15,053 Beat Lenny to a pulp with it! 719 00:34:15,087 --> 00:34:16,255 His name is Daryl! 720 00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,258 Okay. 721 00:34:19,291 --> 00:34:21,493 On the bright side, it's not snowing. 722 00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:26,632 Oh, why did you have to say that? 723 00:34:26,665 --> 00:34:28,900 I'm sorry! 724 00:34:28,934 --> 00:34:30,636 Turn the windshield wipers on! 725 00:34:32,138 --> 00:34:36,142 Really? Oh, this is so intense! 726 00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,044 Oh, I can barely see! 727 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,447 Oh. Oh. Look, I see a light up ahead! 728 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,948 Oh, my gosh! Two lights! 729 00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,384 They're headlights! 730 00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:47,253 (HORN BLARING) (BOTH SCREAMING) 731 00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:51,290 Okay, okay. Don't panic! 732 00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,592 When the road levels out, we'll coast to a stop. 733 00:34:53,625 --> 00:34:54,993 When will that be? 734 00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,295 Three, maybe four. 735 00:34:56,328 --> 00:34:57,796 Miles? Hours. 736 00:35:03,969 --> 00:35:05,537 (SNORING) 737 00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:16,515 (HANK PLAYING VIDEO GAME) 738 00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:19,017 HANK: Bang! Bang, you're dead! I got you! 739 00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:24,556 Bang! Got you again! 740 00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:29,828 Grandpa! Five more minutes! 741 00:35:30,662 --> 00:35:32,431 Did you play all night? 742 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:36,602 Yeah, except I took a pee break from 4:00 to 4:45. 743 00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:39,271 Then I got stuck in the Wastelands of Gorlion, 744 00:35:39,305 --> 00:35:41,607 had to go online to find a walkthrough. 745 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,710 Now I'm doing multiplayer with some kids in Korea. 746 00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:47,546 (SPEAKING KOREAN) 747 00:35:49,415 --> 00:35:51,417 Grandpa, I can't let you go on like this. 748 00:35:53,185 --> 00:35:55,654 (SPEAKING KOREAN) 749 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,094 It's for your own good. 750 00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:11,002 Have a mint? 751 00:36:13,205 --> 00:36:15,274 Grandpa, no! Grandpa! 752 00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:22,881 Grandpa's lost his mind! 753 00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:27,253 Well, that's one more thing he and Grandma have in common. 754 00:36:27,286 --> 00:36:29,154 Are those mints in your hair? 755 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,889 And up my nose. 756 00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:34,092 Come here. I'm starving. 757 00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:35,294 What? 758 00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:40,932 Really? Oh. 759 00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:44,135 Oh, this is actually not too bad. 760 00:36:50,909 --> 00:36:52,411 (ROOSTER CALLING) 761 00:36:52,444 --> 00:36:54,580 Hey, wake up, wake up. We're burning daylight. 762 00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:56,882 I had the worst dream. 763 00:36:58,817 --> 00:37:01,253 No. It's real. 764 00:37:01,287 --> 00:37:02,921 Let me get my seat up. 765 00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:04,456 I'll help. 766 00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:11,297 Don't break the car. 767 00:37:11,330 --> 00:37:13,265 I'm not going to break the car! Don't be ridiculous! 768 00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:20,906 There you are. Thanks. 769 00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,645 We can fix that. 770 00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:45,764 But probably not that. 771 00:37:45,797 --> 00:37:48,099 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 772 00:37:48,133 --> 00:37:50,636 On the bright side, the radio still works. 773 00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:53,705 Not the time. 774 00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:02,348 Well, that's the last of it. 775 00:38:04,049 --> 00:38:07,319 And here's the luggage that was in the trunk. 776 00:38:08,053 --> 00:38:10,155 I think it was the trunk. 777 00:38:10,188 --> 00:38:13,492 It was a hatchback. Thank you, Walter. 778 00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:16,294 Oh, I'm not Walter. I'm Lenny. 779 00:38:16,328 --> 00:38:17,663 I bought Walter out. 780 00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:22,834 Oh, yeah. He was kind of Hobbit-sized. 781 00:38:22,868 --> 00:38:24,870 Hey, did you have another garage before that? 782 00:38:24,903 --> 00:38:26,104 Yeah, that you sold to... 783 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,273 Daryl! Yeah! 784 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,941 You ever thought of keeping the jumpsuits, 785 00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:31,677 just switching the name patches? 786 00:38:33,545 --> 00:38:36,382 Never mind. Do you know how we can get to, um, 787 00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:39,351 anywhere from here? 788 00:38:39,385 --> 00:38:41,653 Oh. Gee, I don't know. 789 00:38:41,687 --> 00:38:43,555 Hitchhike, I guess. 790 00:38:43,589 --> 00:38:44,923 Good luck! 791 00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:48,226 We are not hitchhiking! 792 00:38:52,564 --> 00:38:54,800 Well, Charlie, here we are, 793 00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,735 a typical Christmas Eve Day. 794 00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:59,304 Somewhere in the desert. I think it's Utah. 795 00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:00,506 Who cares? 796 00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:02,007 Oh! And here's Mom. 797 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,242 She's doing a great job not crying 798 00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:06,144 over what a terrible Christmas we're having. 799 00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:07,479 (CRYING) 800 00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:10,582 And she's off. 801 00:39:10,616 --> 00:39:13,385 Gosh, at this rate, we'll make Las Vegas by lunchtime. 802 00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:15,654 Oh, golly, I'd sure like that! 803 00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:18,256 Mom, Mom. Did you hear that? They're going to Las Vegas! 804 00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:20,426 If we can get a ride with them, we can rent a car there! 805 00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:23,094 Teddy, read my lips. We're not hitchhiking. 806 00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:24,763 Mom, it's only hitchhiking if they're strangers. 807 00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:26,197 They are strangers. 808 00:39:26,231 --> 00:39:27,633 They won't be as soon as we buy them breakfast! 809 00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:33,572 Hello. Hi! 810 00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:36,207 Hi, I'm Teddy Duncan, and this is my mom... 811 00:39:39,110 --> 00:39:41,046 This is my mom, Amy. 812 00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:43,449 Howdy. Sue and Stan McKinney. 813 00:39:43,482 --> 00:39:44,716 Nice to meet you. 814 00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,518 Would you mind if we share the booth with you? 815 00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:48,253 We don't want to be taking up too much space 816 00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:49,588 once this place gets crowded. 817 00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:51,322 They get a big breakfast rush. 818 00:39:56,428 --> 00:39:57,796 We could just squeeze in here. Yeah. 819 00:39:57,829 --> 00:39:59,130 That'll probably be good. 820 00:39:59,164 --> 00:40:00,799 Yeah. Squeezey. 821 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,436 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 822 00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:07,539 So, couldn't help overhearing, you guys are headed to Vegas. 823 00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:09,340 What a coincidence! We're going to Palm Springs! 824 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,443 How's that a coincidence? 825 00:40:12,277 --> 00:40:14,279 Excellent question, Stan. 826 00:40:14,312 --> 00:40:17,115 Um, see, we were heading to Vegas because we need to rent a car. 827 00:40:17,148 --> 00:40:18,550 Because ours broke, 828 00:40:18,584 --> 00:40:21,252 literally, into thousands of pieces. 829 00:40:21,286 --> 00:40:25,457 Which Lenny, uh... You'd think he was Walter, but he's actually Lenny... 830 00:40:25,491 --> 00:40:27,125 And he's not Daryl, either. 831 00:40:27,158 --> 00:40:29,127 You might think that Daryl was Lenny, but really Daryl's just the new Lenny, 832 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,430 and Lenny's Walter. But really he's just... He's Lenny. 833 00:40:32,464 --> 00:40:35,433 And so anyway, Lenny had to shovel our car out of the parking lot. 834 00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:36,868 (LAUGHS) 835 00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:41,507 Why don't we order? It's a great idea. 836 00:40:41,540 --> 00:40:45,276 Okay, uh, I'm gonna have six eggs, scrambled, side of bacon, side of sausage. 837 00:40:45,310 --> 00:40:46,978 Links or patties? Both. 838 00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,147 Uh, with pancakes. 839 00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:50,916 Regular or silver dollar? 840 00:40:50,949 --> 00:40:55,654 Um, both, uh, with waffles, uh, plus French toast, and regular toast. 841 00:40:55,687 --> 00:40:58,590 Oh, white, whole wheat, or... I want all the toast. 842 00:40:58,624 --> 00:41:02,360 Uh, then I'll have some ham, Canadian bacon, a bear claw, couple of donuts. 843 00:41:02,393 --> 00:41:05,664 Ooh, coffee cake and, uh, a fruit cup. 844 00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:07,666 And, um, cottage cheese. 845 00:41:07,699 --> 00:41:11,469 Low fat, watching my figure. (CHUCKLES) 846 00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:21,146 TEDDY: So, what brings you two to Vegas? 847 00:41:21,179 --> 00:41:23,782 We're headed to a convention, the A. A. S. N. 848 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,383 Oh, great, great, super, yeah. 849 00:41:25,416 --> 00:41:28,386 We're just hoping to get back to our loved ones in time for Christmas. 850 00:41:28,419 --> 00:41:30,689 Are you going to eat that? 851 00:41:30,722 --> 00:41:32,924 That's my napkin. Yeah, but there's jelly on it. 852 00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:39,565 As we were saying, uh, we're afraid that if we don't make it to Vegas today, 853 00:41:39,598 --> 00:41:42,333 we'll be stranded, alone in the desert, 854 00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:44,870 on this most precious of holidays. 855 00:41:44,903 --> 00:41:46,204 Gee willikers! You're in a pickle! 856 00:41:46,237 --> 00:41:47,505 Yeah, yeah, we sure are. 857 00:41:47,539 --> 00:41:49,074 We're just hoping for a Christmas miracle 858 00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:51,710 from some kind soul, who could give us a ride. 859 00:41:51,743 --> 00:41:54,079 Yeah, that's what you need, all right. 860 00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:55,246 Oh, yeah. 861 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,583 We'd be incredibly grateful... STAN: I'll bet! 862 00:41:57,616 --> 00:42:00,351 To anyone and possibly even somebody we just met, 863 00:42:00,385 --> 00:42:03,521 who's heading to Vegas, has a car... 864 00:42:03,555 --> 00:42:05,490 (EXCLAIMS) Especially a four-door... 865 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,225 Oh, yeah, that'd do it, all right. 866 00:42:07,258 --> 00:42:09,127 Oh, for cryin' out loud, can you give us a ride? 867 00:42:11,129 --> 00:42:12,698 (LAUGHS) 868 00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:22,874 Well, sure! Why didn't you just ask? 869 00:42:22,908 --> 00:42:24,576 (LAUGHS) 870 00:42:24,610 --> 00:42:25,911 No eatin' in the car, though. 871 00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:28,046 Mmm, wouldn't think of it. 872 00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:31,549 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way ♪ 873 00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:35,220 Whoa! This sunburn ointment really does the trick. 874 00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,255 I feel so much better. 875 00:42:37,288 --> 00:42:41,026 Oh, pumpkin, I think you put a little bit too much on. 876 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,928 Here, let me dab some of that off. Okay. 877 00:42:42,961 --> 00:42:45,864 (EXCLAIMS) Oh, pepper-pot, I'm so sorry! 878 00:42:45,897 --> 00:42:47,599 It's okay. Let me just sit down. 879 00:42:47,633 --> 00:42:51,469 The thing is, pudding pop, I can't let you near the furniture like that. 880 00:42:52,303 --> 00:42:54,305 Well, where can I sit? 881 00:42:55,506 --> 00:42:57,743 (EXCLAIMS) Oh! 882 00:42:57,776 --> 00:42:59,244 What are you guys doing in here? 883 00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:01,046 (SIGHS) 884 00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:03,081 Did... Did Grandma freak out and send you guys in here, too? 885 00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:05,784 A long time ago, join the club. 886 00:43:05,817 --> 00:43:07,252 (SCOFFS) Not me. 887 00:43:07,285 --> 00:43:09,821 I'm hiding from Grandpa. I want my mommy! 888 00:43:10,622 --> 00:43:12,523 Yeah, me too. 889 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,961 (EXCLAIMS) 890 00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:19,631 I'm good. 891 00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:23,669 SUE AND STAN: ♪ We 892 00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:27,438 ♪ We love the desert 893 00:43:27,472 --> 00:43:29,440 ♪ The sagebrush and the sand 894 00:43:29,474 --> 00:43:33,511 ♪ We love the desert 895 00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,513 ♪ Now come and hold my hand 896 00:43:35,546 --> 00:43:36,982 (LAUGHS) 897 00:43:39,517 --> 00:43:41,319 Oh, Stan, we're in a high-gamma zone. 898 00:43:41,352 --> 00:43:43,388 Oh, oh, roger that! Yeah! 899 00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:48,326 Um, just out of curiosity, what's with the hats? 900 00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:51,029 Well, you can never be too careful. No. 901 00:43:51,062 --> 00:43:53,031 Do they seem a little weird to you? 902 00:43:53,064 --> 00:43:55,834 Yeah, almost as weird as you eating a napkin for dessert. 903 00:43:55,867 --> 00:43:57,135 (SIGHS) Don't. 904 00:43:58,236 --> 00:43:59,304 You okay? 905 00:43:59,337 --> 00:44:00,538 Not really. 906 00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:05,310 I need a bag. Mom, not again! 907 00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:07,112 Are you ladies okay back there? 908 00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:11,049 Uh, yeah! Hey, why don't you tell me about your convention! 909 00:44:11,082 --> 00:44:14,820 Oh, well, we go every year. It's a real humdinger! 910 00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:16,387 Oh, I bet! 911 00:44:16,421 --> 00:44:18,456 SUE: You know, it's just so nice to be among folks 912 00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,391 who've had the same experience you had. 913 00:44:20,425 --> 00:44:22,293 I can imagine! 914 00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,830 SUE: Because, you know, if it hasn't happened to you, you just don't get it. 915 00:44:24,863 --> 00:44:26,497 No! Totally! It's... Give it to me. 916 00:44:26,531 --> 00:44:28,066 What is it again? 917 00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:29,334 SUE: Alien abduction. 918 00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:34,172 Mmm? 919 00:44:36,674 --> 00:44:38,977 I'm sorry, did you just say... 920 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:40,979 BOTH: Alien abduction! 921 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,081 That's what A. A. S. N. is. 922 00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:45,416 The Alien Abduction Survivor's Network. 923 00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:49,354 So, which one of you... Oh, we both were. 924 00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:52,090 That's where we met first. 925 00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:55,326 Yeah! Aboard the spaceship. 926 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,561 'Course, we didn't know it at the time. 927 00:44:56,594 --> 00:44:59,097 Oh, no, no! Not until years later, 928 00:44:59,130 --> 00:45:02,300 after hypnosis recovered our repressed memories. 929 00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:05,670 Oh, gosh! 930 00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,538 (EXHALING DEEPLY) 931 00:45:07,572 --> 00:45:09,741 Sweetheart, are you okay? 932 00:45:09,775 --> 00:45:13,411 I'm just a little nauseous. 933 00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:18,750 You know, that's the single most common side-effect of an abduction. 934 00:45:18,784 --> 00:45:21,519 And that increase in appetite you're having? 935 00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:24,289 Now, that's the second most common side-effect. 936 00:45:24,322 --> 00:45:27,392 Oh, believe me, I've been this way for a while. 937 00:45:27,425 --> 00:45:31,930 I mean, I think I would remember if aliens had abducted me. 938 00:45:31,963 --> 00:45:36,267 Oh, no, sweetheart, that's how it works! You never remember. 939 00:45:36,301 --> 00:45:37,602 Not at first. 940 00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:41,206 Have you experienced an episode of lost time? 941 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,575 Uh, you mean, besides the eighteen years since my kids were born? 942 00:45:44,609 --> 00:45:47,145 Oh, trust me, she wasn't abducted by aliens. 943 00:45:47,178 --> 00:45:48,579 We were together all last night in the mountains. 944 00:45:48,613 --> 00:45:51,582 (GASPS) That's where they get you! 945 00:45:51,616 --> 00:45:54,085 Oh, I wonder if you've been tagged. 946 00:45:55,453 --> 00:45:56,922 Why don't we probe them and find out? 947 00:45:56,955 --> 00:45:59,090 No, no, no, don't probe them. No, no! No probe. 948 00:45:59,124 --> 00:46:03,628 Okay, we'll use the drill. That'll leave a scar. 949 00:46:03,661 --> 00:46:06,664 BOTH: No, no, no, no, no, no! 950 00:46:06,697 --> 00:46:08,299 That is not necessary, okay. 951 00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:12,103 I promise you, we have not been abducted by aliens. 952 00:46:12,137 --> 00:46:15,640 That big appetite, on top of the nausea, 953 00:46:15,673 --> 00:46:20,311 now, you have either been abducted by aliens or you're pregnant! 954 00:46:24,349 --> 00:46:25,817 Surprise! 955 00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:32,623 (CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING) 956 00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:55,546 STAN: Got everything here. 957 00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:58,183 Well, good luck, Merry Christmas. 958 00:46:58,216 --> 00:47:01,452 Oh, Merry Christmas, Stan. Bye. 959 00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:03,788 Are you sure you're not carrying an alien baby? 960 00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:08,059 Ah, yeah, I'm pretty sure my obstetrician would've caught that. 961 00:47:08,093 --> 00:47:10,896 Well, if you change your mind, we're in the book! 962 00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:13,899 Bye, honey! BOTH: Bye. 963 00:47:13,932 --> 00:47:17,235 Under "O," for "Out of your mind." 964 00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:18,636 BOTH: Bye! 965 00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,738 Okay, honey, will you watch our stuff? 966 00:47:20,771 --> 00:47:22,207 I have to go to the bathroom. 967 00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:24,575 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Can we talk about you being pregnant? 968 00:47:24,609 --> 00:47:25,877 And not telling me? 969 00:47:25,911 --> 00:47:28,579 Teddy, honey, I wanted to, but... 970 00:47:28,613 --> 00:47:29,981 You know, your father and I decided 971 00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:32,483 to tell the whole family at once on Christmas Day. 972 00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:35,086 Excuse me, can you spare some change for food? 973 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:36,521 Oh, yeah. 974 00:47:37,889 --> 00:47:39,257 Here. Thank you. 975 00:47:41,292 --> 00:47:42,527 How could this happen? 976 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,694 I think you know how this happened. 977 00:47:43,728 --> 00:47:44,762 I mean, you saw the film in health class. 978 00:47:44,795 --> 00:47:46,031 I signed the permission slip. 979 00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,433 But five kids, really? 980 00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:50,868 Look, we will discuss this after I pee. 981 00:47:50,902 --> 00:47:53,704 It was a really long car ride. You just watch our luggage. 982 00:47:56,041 --> 00:47:57,275 Where is our luggage? 983 00:47:58,409 --> 00:47:59,577 Oh, no! 984 00:48:00,278 --> 00:48:01,279 (EXCLAIMS) 985 00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:03,614 (ALL TALKING) 986 00:48:05,951 --> 00:48:07,919 Hi, there! 987 00:48:07,953 --> 00:48:12,590 So, uh, underneath all this medicated ointment, there's actually a very sensitive guy. 988 00:48:12,623 --> 00:48:14,625 May I offer you ladies a banana chip? 989 00:48:18,763 --> 00:48:21,099 Wow, it's hard to believe that didn't work. 990 00:48:25,270 --> 00:48:26,471 (LAUGHS) 991 00:48:27,505 --> 00:48:29,140 (LAUGHS) 992 00:48:29,174 --> 00:48:31,309 Isn't this great, finally something she can't break. 993 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:34,245 (AIR WHISTLING) 994 00:48:35,780 --> 00:48:37,482 (MOBILE RINGING) 995 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:43,788 Hey, honey, you almost here? 996 00:48:45,023 --> 00:48:46,958 You what? 997 00:48:46,992 --> 00:48:48,559 No, no, no, no, no! You know what? 998 00:48:48,593 --> 00:48:51,096 You stay there, I'm gonna come get you. 999 00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:53,264 I don't know. 1000 00:48:53,298 --> 00:48:55,400 We'll leave as soon as I can convince your father to lend me the car. 1001 00:48:55,433 --> 00:48:57,102 So, I'll see you when I see you. 1002 00:48:57,135 --> 00:48:58,936 Okay, love you too. 1003 00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:00,605 What's up? 1004 00:49:00,638 --> 00:49:02,773 (SIGHS) I gotta go pick up your mom and Teddy. 1005 00:49:02,807 --> 00:49:04,742 You guys need to stay here with Grandma and Grandpa. 1006 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,144 BOTH: No, no, no! 1007 00:49:06,177 --> 00:49:07,445 Take us with you. Don't leave us here. 1008 00:49:07,478 --> 00:49:09,114 BOTH: Please, please, please! Please! 1009 00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:13,784 (DOOR OPENING) 1010 00:49:13,818 --> 00:49:15,620 All right! 1011 00:49:15,653 --> 00:49:18,990 Oh, good! You're just in time to have more Christmas cookies! 1012 00:49:19,024 --> 00:49:22,027 Except you. You're still being punished. 1013 00:49:22,060 --> 00:49:24,829 Petunia, Amy and Teddy are stranded in Vegas! 1014 00:49:24,862 --> 00:49:26,697 Oh, the poor things! Are they okay? 1015 00:49:26,731 --> 00:49:29,867 Oh, they're fine. I just... I need to borrow your car, so I can go get them. 1016 00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:32,270 Hank, there's an emergency. 1017 00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:35,640 You have to drive into Las Vegas and pick up the girls! 1018 00:49:35,673 --> 00:49:37,442 HANK: Wait till I finish this level! 1019 00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:40,045 I can see the Stone of Mitrios! 1020 00:49:40,078 --> 00:49:42,447 He's not coming out of there any time soon. 1021 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,016 All right, guys, got get a change of clothes, we're going. 1022 00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:47,885 You're leaving me here alone on Christmas Eve? 1023 00:49:47,918 --> 00:49:49,354 (SIGHS) Well... 1024 00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:52,023 Not entirely. 1025 00:49:52,057 --> 00:49:54,725 Look, I haven't got time to make that car seat work, 1026 00:49:54,759 --> 00:49:56,261 could you watch her while I'm gone? 1027 00:49:56,861 --> 00:49:58,296 Of course I can. 1028 00:49:58,329 --> 00:50:00,165 I always knew this day would come. 1029 00:50:03,234 --> 00:50:05,570 Okay. 1030 00:50:05,603 --> 00:50:08,973 Hey, sweetie, we're going to be back soon, okay? 1031 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,641 I promise, all of us. 1032 00:50:10,675 --> 00:50:11,676 Mama. 1033 00:50:13,711 --> 00:50:15,746 Please make sure she has a nice Christmas Eve. 1034 00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:17,415 Of course, I will. 1035 00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,417 We'll have a fabulous time... Bye, Daddy. 1036 00:50:20,285 --> 00:50:21,286 Bye-bye, sweetie. 1037 00:50:26,957 --> 00:50:29,860 Oh, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, wait! 1038 00:50:29,894 --> 00:50:31,862 Wait, how do I keep her from breaking things? 1039 00:50:33,398 --> 00:50:36,134 It's easy. Just tell her not to touch them. 1040 00:50:40,571 --> 00:50:42,573 AMY: I told you to watch our bags! 1041 00:50:42,607 --> 00:50:44,008 I'm not the one who wandered off! 1042 00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,743 Well, I had to pee! 1043 00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:48,513 Well, I still have to pee! 1044 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:53,418 This is great, yep, no luggage, no purse, no money and I'm starving! 1045 00:50:53,451 --> 00:50:55,753 It could be worse. That's hard to see how! 1046 00:50:55,786 --> 00:50:57,588 I hope that plane ticket was worth it, Teddy. 1047 00:50:57,622 --> 00:51:00,225 Okay, you know, I did my best to get us out of this. 1048 00:51:00,258 --> 00:51:02,093 And you haven't exactly been helpful! 1049 00:51:02,127 --> 00:51:05,363 Well, that's because you wanted to prove how responsible you were! 1050 00:51:05,396 --> 00:51:07,098 Mom, I'm not the parent! 1051 00:51:07,132 --> 00:51:09,100 I'm not the one who's actually supposed to be responsible! 1052 00:51:09,134 --> 00:51:11,469 And I'm not the one who ruined Christmas! 1053 00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:19,577 Oh, Teddy... That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me! 1054 00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,746 What? Do you think I wanted to ruin Christmas? 1055 00:51:21,779 --> 00:51:24,715 I already feel awful! And you just want me to feel worse! 1056 00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:26,717 No, no, no! Teddy, come back! 1057 00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:27,952 Leave me alone! 1058 00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:29,687 Teddy! 1059 00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:36,161 Oh! 1060 00:51:36,194 --> 00:51:38,062 ♪ Turned down that street and the memories come flooding in 1061 00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:39,897 ♪ The porch light is smiling 1062 00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:44,169 ♪ Like it's asking me, "Where you been?" 1063 00:51:44,202 --> 00:51:48,339 ♪ I need this more than ever 1064 00:51:48,373 --> 00:51:52,009 ♪ And then I open the door 1065 00:51:52,042 --> 00:51:57,848 ♪ It's like everything that's on my mind just disappears 1066 00:51:57,882 --> 00:51:59,184 No. 1067 00:52:02,887 --> 00:52:04,355 No, no, sorry. 1068 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:11,429 (GRUNTS) 1069 00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:12,830 (JINGLING) 1070 00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:16,634 ♪ The only thing that matters 1071 00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:21,339 ♪ All that really matters 1072 00:52:21,372 --> 00:52:25,576 ♪ Is Christmas with you 1073 00:52:26,411 --> 00:52:31,716 ♪ Christmas with you 1074 00:52:33,418 --> 00:52:37,121 Well, it's Christmas Eve in Las Vegas, Charlie. 1075 00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:40,358 All I want for Christmas is a sandwich. 1076 00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,228 I wish I was a mime. 1077 00:52:43,261 --> 00:52:46,063 Look at that guy, he's doing pretty well. 1078 00:52:48,866 --> 00:52:50,768 You thinking what I'm thinking? 1079 00:52:55,706 --> 00:52:56,741 (CLEARS THROAT) 1080 00:52:59,076 --> 00:53:01,646 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly 1081 00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,215 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la-la 1082 00:53:04,249 --> 00:53:06,851 ♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly 1083 00:53:06,884 --> 00:53:09,320 ♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la 1084 00:53:09,354 --> 00:53:11,756 ♪ Don we now our gay apparel 1085 00:53:11,789 --> 00:53:14,325 ♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la 1086 00:53:14,359 --> 00:53:16,827 ♪ Troll the ancient Yule tide carol 1087 00:53:16,861 --> 00:53:18,429 ♪ Fa la la la la, la, la... ♪ 1088 00:53:18,463 --> 00:53:20,398 No, no, no, no! Sorry... 1089 00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:21,966 Excuse me, sir. 1090 00:53:29,307 --> 00:53:34,412 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way 1091 00:53:34,445 --> 00:53:36,146 (ALL TALKING) 1092 00:53:37,582 --> 00:53:40,518 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride 1093 00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:44,955 ♪ In a one-horse open 1094 00:53:44,989 --> 00:53:47,725 ♪ Sleigh, hey 1095 00:53:47,758 --> 00:53:49,760 What are you doing? Hey! I'm helping you. 1096 00:53:49,794 --> 00:53:51,696 No, I don't need help. I can do this on my own. 1097 00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:53,764 No you can't, Teddy! You're not even in the right key. 1098 00:53:53,798 --> 00:53:56,434 ♪ Dashing through the snow 1099 00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:59,770 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh 1100 00:53:59,804 --> 00:54:01,772 ♪ O'er the fields we go 1101 00:54:01,806 --> 00:54:03,441 ♪ Laughing all the way 1102 00:54:03,474 --> 00:54:05,109 (LAUGHS) 1103 00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:11,549 ♪ Bells on bob-tails ring Making spirits bright 1104 00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:12,717 Mom! Shh! 1105 00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,051 (LAUGHING) 1106 00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:16,821 ♪ What fun it is to ride and sing 1107 00:54:16,854 --> 00:54:18,889 ♪ A sleighing song tonight 1108 00:54:18,923 --> 00:54:22,159 ♪ Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells 1109 00:54:22,192 --> 00:54:24,495 ♪ Jingle all the way 1110 00:54:24,529 --> 00:54:26,764 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride 1111 00:54:26,797 --> 00:54:29,634 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh, hey ♪ 1112 00:54:30,468 --> 00:54:31,936 (CHEERING) 1113 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:38,843 That is exactly what the holidays are like at my house. 1114 00:54:38,876 --> 00:54:40,010 (LAUGHING) 1115 00:54:40,044 --> 00:54:41,045 (WHISTLING) 1116 00:54:48,052 --> 00:54:50,921 This is really good. Really good. 1117 00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:51,956 (EXCLAIMS) 1118 00:54:56,894 --> 00:54:58,262 Take a right up there. 1119 00:54:58,295 --> 00:54:59,764 Up where? 1120 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,599 There's a little unmarked road about 100 yards ahead. 1121 00:55:01,632 --> 00:55:03,968 Trust me! I mapped it out! 1122 00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:07,772 Oh, if we took that road, it would've shaved 30 minutes off our trip. 1123 00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:10,107 Are you sure? Trust me, go back and make the turn. 1124 00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:11,509 Don't trust him. 1125 00:55:11,542 --> 00:55:13,310 I saw a movie that started like this. 1126 00:55:13,344 --> 00:55:14,612 How did it turn out? 1127 00:55:14,645 --> 00:55:17,214 I don't know. I got too scared and left the theater. 1128 00:55:17,247 --> 00:55:19,049 Oh, I stayed. The guy driving the car lived. 1129 00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:20,385 Good enough for me. 1130 00:55:20,418 --> 00:55:22,887 But only for a minute, then he got eaten by zombies. 1131 00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:26,357 Sorry. 1132 00:55:26,391 --> 00:55:30,895 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas, hey 1133 00:55:30,928 --> 00:55:33,831 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas, hey 1134 00:55:33,864 --> 00:55:35,566 (LAUGHING) 1135 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:39,537 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year 1136 00:55:39,570 --> 00:55:43,741 ♪ Glad tidings we bring to you and your kin 1137 00:55:43,774 --> 00:55:48,513 ♪ Glad tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year 1138 00:55:48,546 --> 00:55:51,816 ♪ Oh, bring us a figgy pudding 1139 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:53,918 ♪ Oh, bring us a figgy pudding 1140 00:55:53,951 --> 00:55:56,387 ♪ Oh, bring us a figgy pudding 1141 00:55:56,421 --> 00:55:58,556 ♪ And bring it right here 1142 00:55:58,589 --> 00:55:59,590 (CHEERING) 1143 00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:03,761 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas 1144 00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:06,163 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas Thank you. 1145 00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,433 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas 1146 00:56:10,267 --> 00:56:16,273 ♪ And a Happy New Year 1147 00:56:17,608 --> 00:56:19,410 (ALL CHEERING) 1148 00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:28,919 How'd we do? Good enough for an $8.99 buffet! 1149 00:56:28,953 --> 00:56:30,387 (EXCLAIMS) 1150 00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:39,430 Yeah, yeah, this is definitely the right move. 1151 00:56:39,464 --> 00:56:40,598 MAN: Stop! 1152 00:56:40,631 --> 00:56:42,099 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1153 00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,968 Except for the guys with guns! 1154 00:56:44,001 --> 00:56:45,470 Those guys were not on the map. 1155 00:56:48,005 --> 00:56:50,941 Who are you guys? Are you policemen? 1156 00:56:50,975 --> 00:56:53,043 I'm going to need to see some badges. 1157 00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:56,714 Badges? We don't need no stinking badges. 1158 00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:57,748 (LAUGHING) 1159 00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:07,625 I mean, we could really be onto something here. 1160 00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:09,594 We could be the next Jersey Boys. 1161 00:57:09,627 --> 00:57:11,428 I don't think... I mean, not that we should take it straight to Broadway. 1162 00:57:11,462 --> 00:57:13,230 Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Exactly. 1163 00:57:13,263 --> 00:57:15,065 I mean, we should open in Chicago or Los Angeles. 1164 00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:17,602 You know, just a couple of months, work out the bugs. 1165 00:57:17,635 --> 00:57:18,769 Who should we get to do the music? 1166 00:57:18,803 --> 00:57:20,605 Stephen Sondheim or Andrew Lloyd Webber? 1167 00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:22,640 Ooh, Elton John. 1168 00:57:22,673 --> 00:57:24,174 Whatever, Mom. 1169 00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:25,676 Oh, cheer up, kiddo! 1170 00:57:26,811 --> 00:57:28,479 (SIGHS) 1171 00:57:28,513 --> 00:57:30,581 Look, if this is... If this is about Spring Break then... 1172 00:57:30,615 --> 00:57:32,116 Yeah? 1173 00:57:32,149 --> 00:57:33,350 (SIGHS) 1174 00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:36,153 It's hard. 1175 00:57:37,187 --> 00:57:39,557 What, Mom? What is hard? 1176 00:57:40,390 --> 00:57:41,391 Letting go. 1177 00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:47,532 You take a trip like that by yourself and you really are a grown up. 1178 00:57:47,565 --> 00:57:49,867 And, well, I just want you to be my baby. 1179 00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:54,672 Mom, I'll always be your baby. 1180 00:57:54,705 --> 00:57:58,308 And you keep making more babies, so it's not like you're going to run out. 1181 00:58:00,144 --> 00:58:02,246 I wish the rest of them were here. 1182 00:58:04,348 --> 00:58:05,816 (EXCLAIMS) 1183 00:58:08,152 --> 00:58:09,654 I'm sorry I ruined Christmas. 1184 00:58:09,687 --> 00:58:13,057 Hey, you did not ruin Christmas. 1185 00:58:14,024 --> 00:58:15,993 At least we're together. 1186 00:58:16,026 --> 00:58:18,128 We can still have pancakes on Christmas morning, 1187 00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:21,331 even if they're six hours old under a heat lamp. 1188 00:58:21,365 --> 00:58:23,968 And they're not shaped like Christmas trees. 1189 00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:28,005 Teddy, you gave me the best present ever! 1190 00:58:29,874 --> 00:58:31,441 My own Broadway musical! 1191 00:58:34,078 --> 00:58:35,445 Yeah. 1192 00:58:38,115 --> 00:58:40,117 Mom, that girl. 1193 00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:43,153 She's got our luggage! 1194 00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:45,189 TEDDY: She's wearing my purple top! 1195 00:58:45,222 --> 00:58:46,857 She looks better in it than I do! 1196 00:58:46,891 --> 00:58:48,693 Hey, wait. We need a plan. 1197 00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:50,861 No, we don't, jump her! 1198 00:58:55,633 --> 00:58:56,767 All right, the jig is up. 1199 00:58:56,801 --> 00:58:58,435 And you look awful in that top. 1200 00:59:00,270 --> 00:59:02,873 I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. 1201 00:59:02,907 --> 00:59:04,241 Oh, yeah, well, cry all you want, 1202 00:59:04,274 --> 00:59:05,876 'cause we're calling the cops. 1203 00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:09,213 No, I swear, I've never done anything like this before, ever! 1204 00:59:09,246 --> 00:59:12,583 I just didn't know what else to do because I was so hungry. 1205 00:59:12,617 --> 00:59:17,087 And I just saw your luggage sitting there, and I haven't eaten in so long. 1206 00:59:17,121 --> 00:59:19,356 Could you please stop crying so I can call the cops? 1207 00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:21,025 I'm sorry! 1208 00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:23,427 I'm just so tired and I'm lost 1209 00:59:23,460 --> 00:59:25,863 and all I want to do is just go home 1210 00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:29,299 but I can't because it's like a thousand miles away. 1211 00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:31,068 And I don't have any money. 1212 00:59:31,101 --> 00:59:32,302 How did that happen? 1213 00:59:34,171 --> 00:59:35,740 It's a really long story. 1214 00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:38,442 We've got time. 1215 00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:44,749 MAN: Hold still! It won't help to struggle. 1216 00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:48,719 All right, take the blindfolds off. 1217 00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:50,921 Okay. (SIGHS) 1218 00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:54,091 Whatever it is you guys want... You know what we want! 1219 00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:55,425 To keep the Stone of Mitrios 1220 00:59:55,459 --> 00:59:57,261 out of your dirty yellow hands! 1221 00:59:57,294 --> 00:59:59,930 I have no idea what you're talking about. I do! 1222 00:59:59,964 --> 01:00:01,265 Gabe, please! 1223 01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:03,267 Look, we're innocent. 1224 01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:05,569 We were just on our way to pick up my wife and my daughter... 1225 01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:09,273 Down an unmarked desert road, after dark, on Christmas Eve? 1226 01:00:09,306 --> 01:00:10,975 Do you think I'm stupid? 1227 01:00:11,008 --> 01:00:13,343 I have a PhD from Caltech! 1228 01:00:13,377 --> 01:00:17,114 Really? Oh, then you're smart enough to know that kidnapping is a felony. 1229 01:00:17,147 --> 01:00:18,348 (LAUGHS) 1230 01:00:19,684 --> 01:00:22,853 Good one. You're very convincing. 1231 01:00:22,887 --> 01:00:25,622 Look, you tell Jablowsky, whatever trick he was trying 1232 01:00:25,656 --> 01:00:27,591 to pull with you, it didn't work. 1233 01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:30,627 We are going to grind you under our boots. 1234 01:00:30,661 --> 01:00:33,864 And there's no way you're getting the Stone. 1235 01:00:33,898 --> 01:00:35,632 We don't even know what that is! 1236 01:00:35,666 --> 01:00:37,501 I do! 1237 01:00:37,534 --> 01:00:39,269 And we're going to miss Christmas! What did you say? 1238 01:00:39,303 --> 01:00:41,271 I know exactly what's happening! 1239 01:00:41,305 --> 01:00:43,273 We're in the middle of Live Death! 1240 01:00:43,307 --> 01:00:45,009 Which is? 1241 01:00:45,042 --> 01:00:46,610 Okay, so every Christmas Eve, Chuck Jablowsky, 1242 01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:49,780 the multi-gazillionaire who invented Galaxy of Death, 1243 01:00:49,814 --> 01:00:52,783 he hosts this legendary paintball tournament based on the game. 1244 01:00:52,817 --> 01:00:54,819 It's like a giant video game come to life! 1245 01:00:54,852 --> 01:00:56,787 Why does he do it on Christmas Eve? 1246 01:00:56,821 --> 01:00:59,123 Because half the programmers who work for him are Hindu. 1247 01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:01,959 And the other half are antisocial nerds who have no life. 1248 01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:04,795 I'm starting to realize why there weren't any hot girls in that crowd. 1249 01:01:04,829 --> 01:01:07,164 Yeah, it's a shame. 1250 01:01:07,197 --> 01:01:08,733 How long does the game last? 1251 01:01:08,766 --> 01:01:11,401 Until either the Yellow team captures the Stone of Mitrios, 1252 01:01:11,435 --> 01:01:13,070 or the Red team wipes them all out. 1253 01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:14,905 (SIGHS) Usually takes a couple of days. 1254 01:01:14,939 --> 01:01:16,907 So we're stuck here till after Christmas? 1255 01:01:16,941 --> 01:01:18,709 Well, not if we escape! 1256 01:01:18,743 --> 01:01:20,644 All right, you know what, let's scoot our chairs back to back 1257 01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:23,380 and then, maybe we could untie the ropes, all right. 1258 01:01:23,413 --> 01:01:24,514 Here we go. 1259 01:01:24,548 --> 01:01:26,050 All right, working already, huh? 1260 01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:27,752 Wait, no, Dad. Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad... 1261 01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:29,253 No, no, no, no! Ow. Ow! 1262 01:01:29,286 --> 01:01:30,420 Gabe, you bumped me out of position! 1263 01:01:30,454 --> 01:01:32,656 You bumped me! Sit still! 1264 01:01:32,689 --> 01:01:34,925 This was my idea! Let me do what I got to do! 1265 01:01:34,959 --> 01:01:37,862 Yes, but I'm smaller and more agile! 1266 01:01:37,895 --> 01:01:39,663 Well, I'm bigger and you need to listen to me! 1267 01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:40,798 Dad's right. 1268 01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:43,734 How did you get free? 1269 01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,503 My arms are all lubed up with sunburn ointment. 1270 01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:47,905 Slipped them right out. 1271 01:01:48,939 --> 01:01:50,574 Untie us! 1272 01:01:50,607 --> 01:01:52,076 Oh, yeah, yeah! 1273 01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:55,612 Wow, that's really easy to undo. 1274 01:01:55,645 --> 01:01:58,448 I guess Caltech doesn't have a knot tying requirement. 1275 01:01:59,416 --> 01:02:00,751 (GRUNTING) 1276 01:02:00,785 --> 01:02:03,220 All right, let's go. 1277 01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:08,392 Wait, wait, wait... We might have to shoot our way out. 1278 01:02:08,425 --> 01:02:10,094 Good idea. 1279 01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:11,796 Here goes. 1280 01:02:11,829 --> 01:02:12,963 (LAUGHS) 1281 01:02:12,997 --> 01:02:14,698 Yes! All right! 1282 01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:16,233 Okay, boys, are we ready? 1283 01:02:16,266 --> 01:02:17,734 BOTH: Yeah! All right! 1284 01:02:17,768 --> 01:02:21,972 On three. One, two, three! 1285 01:02:23,007 --> 01:02:28,312 Wow. Okay, on three. One, two, three! 1286 01:02:28,345 --> 01:02:31,248 One, two, three! 1287 01:02:31,281 --> 01:02:33,583 Come on! Allow me. 1288 01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:39,990 Thank you. 1289 01:02:43,293 --> 01:02:44,494 Nobody in here. 1290 01:02:44,528 --> 01:02:45,830 (TOILET FLUSHING) 1291 01:02:54,939 --> 01:02:56,974 Hey, remember us? 1292 01:02:57,007 --> 01:02:58,108 Where's our car? 1293 01:02:58,142 --> 01:02:59,776 Can't talk, already dead! 1294 01:02:59,810 --> 01:03:01,345 Oh, come on! 1295 01:03:01,378 --> 01:03:04,248 Rules are rules for a reason, okay, pal? 1296 01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:06,951 Give us a break, man! It's Christmas Eve! 1297 01:03:06,984 --> 01:03:08,318 We're not like you! We have lives! 1298 01:03:08,352 --> 01:03:10,420 Hey, man, I chose to be here! 1299 01:03:10,454 --> 01:03:11,755 Yeah. 1300 01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:13,757 Guys, you gotta check out this map! 1301 01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:16,260 Oh, does it prove I was right about the shortcut? 1302 01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:18,963 Oh, other than the part where we got kidnapped? 1303 01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:21,098 Can you find our car on this thing? 1304 01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:23,467 I think it's over there, past the Tower of Doom. 1305 01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,836 But we're deep in Red team territory. 1306 01:03:25,870 --> 01:03:28,405 If we run for it, we'll probably just get kidnapped again. 1307 01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:32,209 On the other hand... What? 1308 01:03:32,242 --> 01:03:34,811 Their whole strategy's outlined in this plan. 1309 01:03:34,845 --> 01:03:36,780 And it's right out of Galaxy of Death. 1310 01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:38,815 I know exactly how this is going to play out. 1311 01:03:40,384 --> 01:03:42,386 So can you get us to the car? 1312 01:03:42,419 --> 01:03:44,554 Dad, I can do better than that. 1313 01:03:45,923 --> 01:03:48,325 I think I can win this thing. 1314 01:03:50,895 --> 01:03:54,231 JORDAN: So, I really wanted to go to this music festival. 1315 01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:56,867 But my mom said I was too young and irresponsible 1316 01:03:56,901 --> 01:03:59,003 to go cross-country without an adult. 1317 01:03:59,036 --> 01:04:00,304 Mmm, I've heard that before. 1318 01:04:00,337 --> 01:04:02,172 I've said that before. 1319 01:04:02,206 --> 01:04:05,509 So, we got in this huge fight, of course, because we fight about everything. 1320 01:04:05,542 --> 01:04:10,014 My clothes, my grades, my nose piercing, which actually she was right about, 1321 01:04:10,047 --> 01:04:12,382 because I still can't smell on this side. 1322 01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,084 Lesson learned. Mmm-hmm. 1323 01:04:14,118 --> 01:04:15,986 So, she said that if I went to the festival, 1324 01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:18,588 then I might as well not even bother coming home. 1325 01:04:19,389 --> 01:04:21,926 And I went anyway. 1326 01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:26,163 And then my ride ditched me, and I wound up stranded here. 1327 01:04:26,196 --> 01:04:28,198 Well, did you call your mom? 1328 01:04:28,232 --> 01:04:31,368 But she said she'd never forgive me. 1329 01:04:31,401 --> 01:04:35,172 Well, you know, sometimes moms say things they don't really mean. 1330 01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:37,074 Yeah, we do, all the time. 1331 01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:38,608 I once told Teddy if she didn't clean her room, 1332 01:04:38,642 --> 01:04:40,410 she'd have to sleep outside in the yard. 1333 01:04:40,444 --> 01:04:42,179 I did have to sleep outside in the yard. It was summer. 1334 01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:44,748 Look, the point is, it's Christmas Eve. 1335 01:04:45,615 --> 01:04:47,217 Call your mom. 1336 01:04:47,251 --> 01:04:50,220 I can't. I'm too scared. 1337 01:04:51,588 --> 01:04:52,957 Do you want me to call her? 1338 01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:59,964 Hi, Brenda? This is Amy Duncan. 1339 01:04:59,997 --> 01:05:02,232 This is going to take a little bit of explaining. 1340 01:05:04,001 --> 01:05:05,936 It's going to be fine. 1341 01:05:05,970 --> 01:05:09,139 I don't know, my mom can be pretty nuts sometimes. 1342 01:05:09,173 --> 01:05:11,108 Yeah, well, they all can. 1343 01:05:11,141 --> 01:05:14,244 I don't know, your mom seems really chill. 1344 01:05:14,278 --> 01:05:17,114 My mom wants to turn our arguments into a Broadway musical. 1345 01:05:19,316 --> 01:05:21,785 Wow, that is nuts. Yep! 1346 01:05:21,818 --> 01:05:24,654 What a coincidence! I have four kids, too! 1347 01:05:24,688 --> 01:05:28,625 Oh, my gosh! I'm pregnant, too, hah! It's like we're twins! 1348 01:05:28,658 --> 01:05:29,926 Do you watch The Bachelor? 1349 01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,062 (GASPS) I know, isn't she heinous? 1350 01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:33,463 I can't believe he picked her. 1351 01:05:33,497 --> 01:05:34,965 You know what, though? 1352 01:05:34,999 --> 01:05:38,935 Underneath all that craziness they really do love us. 1353 01:05:38,969 --> 01:05:41,671 And reality TV. Yeah, that too. 1354 01:05:43,107 --> 01:05:45,242 Hang on. 1355 01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:48,945 (SIGHS) Jordan, here's someone who wants to talk to you. 1356 01:05:57,154 --> 01:05:59,089 Hi, Mom. How did it go? 1357 01:05:59,123 --> 01:06:01,525 Oh, we totally agreed about the girl in The Bachelor. 1358 01:06:01,558 --> 01:06:04,261 Oh, no, I mean, do you think they're going to make up? 1359 01:06:04,294 --> 01:06:06,163 (CRYING) I miss you, too. 1360 01:06:08,398 --> 01:06:09,866 I think they just did. 1361 01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:13,070 (CRYING) Okay. 1362 01:06:15,072 --> 01:06:16,706 I love you too, Mom! 1363 01:06:17,841 --> 01:06:19,176 I'll see you soon. 1364 01:06:25,915 --> 01:06:27,184 Everything okay? 1365 01:06:28,552 --> 01:06:29,953 Thank you so much! 1366 01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:31,888 Oh, you're so welcome. 1367 01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:34,724 So, you headed to the airport? 1368 01:06:35,925 --> 01:06:38,295 You are going home, right? 1369 01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:40,030 Yeah, yeah, it's just... 1370 01:06:40,064 --> 01:06:43,167 The plane fare's a little too much for my mom to handle. 1371 01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,069 So, I'm just going to find a shelter tonight. 1372 01:06:45,102 --> 01:06:47,737 And then figure out some way to get enough money for a bus fare. 1373 01:06:49,573 --> 01:06:51,841 But, don't worry. I'm not going to steal anything. 1374 01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:53,577 No, no, no, it's not that, um... 1375 01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:00,884 I want you to have this. 1376 01:07:01,785 --> 01:07:02,919 What is it? 1377 01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,621 It's a plane ticket. 1378 01:07:05,589 --> 01:07:07,023 No, no! Yeah! 1379 01:07:07,057 --> 01:07:08,258 No, I can't! 1380 01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,759 Yeah, it's brought me a lot of trouble. 1381 01:07:09,793 --> 01:07:12,296 But, if it gets you home for Christmas, then it's worth it. 1382 01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,266 (WHISPERS) Thank you. 1383 01:07:23,607 --> 01:07:24,608 Thanks again. 1384 01:07:25,909 --> 01:07:27,577 Oh, my gosh! You need your top back! 1385 01:07:27,611 --> 01:07:30,114 No, no, no, keep it! It looks better on you, than it ever did on me. 1386 01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:32,949 Well, thanks again, again! 1387 01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:36,052 Merry Christmas! 1388 01:07:36,086 --> 01:07:37,621 BOTH: Merry Christmas! 1389 01:07:40,624 --> 01:07:41,825 BOTH: Bye! 1390 01:07:45,229 --> 01:07:49,399 I am so proud of you. That was such a grown-up thing you just did. 1391 01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:51,034 Grown-up enough to go on Spring Break? 1392 01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:53,737 Yeah, if you had a ticket! 1393 01:07:53,770 --> 01:07:55,805 That's painfully ironic. Yeah! 1394 01:07:58,242 --> 01:07:59,643 (BELLS JINGLING) 1395 01:08:03,147 --> 01:08:07,417 TEDDY: Hey, are you sure this is the place where we're supposed to meet Dad? 1396 01:08:07,451 --> 01:08:09,419 AMY: He's not answering his phone. 1397 01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:10,954 You know what? I'll just text him. 1398 01:08:12,456 --> 01:08:14,924 MAN: Stay together. Let's move, let's move! 1399 01:08:14,958 --> 01:08:16,860 Bravo team, head on a swivel. 1400 01:08:18,962 --> 01:08:20,597 Guard the right perimeter. 1401 01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:27,471 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 1402 01:08:27,971 --> 01:08:29,673 (GRUNTING) 1403 01:08:29,706 --> 01:08:30,874 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 1404 01:08:34,211 --> 01:08:36,646 Dad, when you're in the kill zone, you gotta keep it on vibrate! 1405 01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,815 I hate vibrate! It tickles. 1406 01:08:39,716 --> 01:08:40,917 What are you doing? 1407 01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:44,020 I am texting your mother back. 1408 01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:47,291 Hey, there is no texting in the kill zone! 1409 01:08:47,324 --> 01:08:49,626 PJ. Got it. 1410 01:08:49,659 --> 01:08:53,029 (SCOFFS) These nerds go down easy. 1411 01:08:53,062 --> 01:08:55,865 Dad! Come on! We're almost through the Plains of Fire! 1412 01:08:55,899 --> 01:08:59,135 You could practically see the Wastelands of Gorlion from here! 1413 01:08:59,169 --> 01:09:02,772 Wait a minute. We are going straight to the car, correct? 1414 01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:06,310 Yeah! Yeah, Dad, it's just past the Wastelands. 1415 01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,547 Is it? No! 1416 01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:12,081 (KEYS BEEPING) 1417 01:09:13,317 --> 01:09:14,451 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 1418 01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:16,653 Oh, my gosh, it's your father! 1419 01:09:16,686 --> 01:09:21,825 "Running late, can't call or text from the kill zone. Love you, BRB." 1420 01:09:22,759 --> 01:09:24,694 That's random. 1421 01:09:24,728 --> 01:09:26,830 Well, so much for us all spending Christmas together. 1422 01:09:27,897 --> 01:09:30,467 Hey, we will be together! 1423 01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:32,469 You know, we know what route they're taking. 1424 01:09:32,502 --> 01:09:34,938 We'll rent a car and meet them halfway. Come on! 1425 01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:37,173 AMY: Wow. TEDDY: Let's go. 1426 01:09:37,207 --> 01:09:38,542 You go, girlfriend! 1427 01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:42,011 Lady Luck Car Rental. 1428 01:09:42,045 --> 01:09:44,681 (SIGHS) "Open 364 days a year." 1429 01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:49,419 Oh, God, it's after midnight. Nothing's going to be open! 1430 01:09:49,453 --> 01:09:50,787 (SIGHS) 1431 01:09:52,222 --> 01:09:53,557 TEDDY: What about that place? 1432 01:09:57,961 --> 01:09:59,095 (DOOR BELL JINGLING) 1433 01:09:59,128 --> 01:10:01,331 Oh, hey! Merry Christmas! 1434 01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:03,333 Merry Christmas to you! Thank you. 1435 01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:06,069 You know, I knew if I stayed open all night long on Christmas, 1436 01:10:06,102 --> 01:10:07,537 it would pay off. 1437 01:10:07,571 --> 01:10:09,406 Yeah, the thing is, 1438 01:10:09,439 --> 01:10:12,276 we were hoping you knew of a rental car place that might be open. 1439 01:10:13,109 --> 01:10:14,711 Oh. 1440 01:10:14,744 --> 01:10:17,547 Well, you see, that's the trouble with car places. 1441 01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:19,249 There's no culture of commitment. 1442 01:10:19,283 --> 01:10:20,884 That's why I sold my garage. 1443 01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:23,587 Moved to Vegas, I bought this place from Gary... 1444 01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:26,456 Uh, wait, so you're not Gary? No! 1445 01:10:26,490 --> 01:10:27,591 No, no, my name is... 1446 01:10:27,624 --> 01:10:29,859 Wait! Don't tell us. Are you Walter? 1447 01:10:29,893 --> 01:10:31,728 (EXCLAIMS) How'd you guess? 1448 01:10:31,761 --> 01:10:35,299 Oh, we used your old garage a few hundred miles back for towing... 1449 01:10:35,332 --> 01:10:37,401 Actually, shoveling. 1450 01:10:37,434 --> 01:10:39,636 Wow, imagine that! Say, how's Lenny doin'? 1451 01:10:39,669 --> 01:10:40,804 He's great. Great. 1452 01:10:40,837 --> 01:10:42,906 Doing great. So's Daryl. 1453 01:10:42,939 --> 01:10:44,641 Oh, you know Daryl? Yeah. 1454 01:10:44,674 --> 01:10:47,644 Amazing. Yeah, yeah, it really has been. 1455 01:10:47,677 --> 01:10:50,046 Ah, so listen, Walter, my family's Christmas 1456 01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:52,982 depends on our not being in Vegas when the sun comes up. 1457 01:10:53,016 --> 01:10:55,452 Uh-huh. So, what's our best bet? 1458 01:10:57,287 --> 01:10:58,822 (EXHALING) 1459 01:11:18,141 --> 01:11:20,810 Really thought we would've come across them by now. 1460 01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:23,813 Let's take a rest. 1461 01:11:27,651 --> 01:11:28,852 (AMY SIGHS) 1462 01:11:28,885 --> 01:11:30,286 (BOTH PANTING) 1463 01:11:38,161 --> 01:11:40,330 Merry Christmas, baby. 1464 01:11:40,364 --> 01:11:42,198 Merry Christmas, Mama. 1465 01:11:46,903 --> 01:11:48,905 I hope the guys are okay. 1466 01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:51,808 Wherever they are. 1467 01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:58,348 (EXCLAIMING) There's something over here. 1468 01:11:58,382 --> 01:12:01,985 ♪ I'm looking for a sign 1469 01:12:02,018 --> 01:12:04,788 ♪ To show me that I'm right 1470 01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:07,791 ♪ On cue to break the fall 1471 01:12:07,824 --> 01:12:10,694 ♪ When our back's against the wall 1472 01:12:10,727 --> 01:12:14,197 ♪ So I'll take it as it comes 1473 01:12:14,230 --> 01:12:18,234 ♪ I'll show off anyone who thinks I'll take it slow 1474 01:12:18,267 --> 01:12:19,769 Go! Go! Go! 1475 01:12:24,273 --> 01:12:25,675 (GROANS) 1476 01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:34,250 Everybody on the ridge. On the ridge! 1477 01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:36,820 Move! Move! 1478 01:12:36,853 --> 01:12:38,388 ♪ You better believe 1479 01:12:38,422 --> 01:12:41,190 ♪ I'm not going away 1480 01:12:46,463 --> 01:12:48,131 (GROANING) 1481 01:12:55,304 --> 01:12:57,140 PJ! 1482 01:13:02,245 --> 01:13:03,279 (GRUNTS) 1483 01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:12,288 Dad! 1484 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:14,991 (GRUNTS) 1485 01:13:26,636 --> 01:13:29,105 Do it for Dad! 1486 01:14:02,639 --> 01:14:05,975 Yes! Yes! Yeah! 1487 01:14:06,009 --> 01:14:08,678 The Stone of Mitrios is mine! 1488 01:14:11,981 --> 01:14:13,583 RED TEAM MEMBER: So close, too. 1489 01:14:13,617 --> 01:14:16,419 Who are you? You're not even in the game! 1490 01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:19,455 Oh, yeah? Then why am I holding the Stone of Mitrios? 1491 01:14:21,390 --> 01:14:22,926 (HORN HONKING) 1492 01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,360 Here comes Jablowsky. 1493 01:14:25,194 --> 01:14:27,030 He's gonna crush you! 1494 01:14:27,063 --> 01:14:29,298 Well, actually, he's gonna pay a guy to crush you. 1495 01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:35,539 Chuck Jablowsky. 1496 01:14:37,574 --> 01:14:41,678 Do you know what happens to people that crash my paintball game? 1497 01:14:41,711 --> 01:14:45,048 You send them on their way with a severe scolding and a free smart phone? 1498 01:14:45,081 --> 01:14:47,116 No, I pay a guy to crush them. 1499 01:14:47,150 --> 01:14:48,518 Told you so. 1500 01:14:48,552 --> 01:14:51,154 Unless you're wearing my team uniform, 1501 01:14:51,187 --> 01:14:53,156 in which case, I win! 1502 01:14:53,189 --> 01:14:55,058 (ALL CHEERING) 1503 01:14:55,091 --> 01:14:56,960 That's my boy! 1504 01:14:56,993 --> 01:15:00,964 I'm the guy that lets him slack off homework so he can play the game. 1505 01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:04,701 Sir, thank you so much for not paying a guy to crush us. 1506 01:15:04,734 --> 01:15:06,202 And may I say it's a huge honor 1507 01:15:06,235 --> 01:15:08,905 just to shake your bizarrely small hand. 1508 01:15:08,938 --> 01:15:11,474 The pleasure's all mine, kid. You won the game for me! 1509 01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:12,909 What can I do to repay you? 1510 01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:15,111 I believe a smart phone was mentioned. 1511 01:15:17,446 --> 01:15:19,248 Actually, we need a lift. 1512 01:15:23,052 --> 01:15:25,755 Any chance the cook can make pancakes shaped like Christmas trees? 1513 01:15:25,789 --> 01:15:27,557 He can barely make them round. 1514 01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:35,699 I'm sorry you didn't get to watch Charlie put the star on the tree. 1515 01:15:35,732 --> 01:15:39,636 Oh, that's okay, sweetie. We'll have other Christmases. 1516 01:15:47,110 --> 01:15:48,878 (ALL YELLING) 1517 01:15:51,648 --> 01:15:53,549 How did you guys... 1518 01:15:53,583 --> 01:15:56,252 A buddy of mine triangulated your cell phones and gave us a lift. 1519 01:15:56,285 --> 01:15:57,587 TEDDY: No way! 1520 01:15:58,121 --> 01:15:59,288 BOB: Thank you! 1521 01:16:00,456 --> 01:16:02,258 Bye! Thank you! 1522 01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:04,227 Thanks! 1523 01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:09,465 How did you guys get here? 1524 01:16:09,498 --> 01:16:11,234 Oh, you see that tandem bike? Yeah. 1525 01:16:11,267 --> 01:16:13,937 We rode it here. From Las Vegas. 1526 01:16:13,970 --> 01:16:15,672 Wow, that's like... Ninety miles. 1527 01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:19,242 My butt hurts. 1528 01:16:19,275 --> 01:16:21,911 I just wish my parents and Charlie were here. 1529 01:16:21,945 --> 01:16:23,279 (CAR HONKING) Hey! 1530 01:16:24,848 --> 01:16:25,982 Hey! 1531 01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:27,416 Hi! 1532 01:16:27,450 --> 01:16:28,885 Hi! 1533 01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:30,253 Hey! (HONKING) 1534 01:16:32,956 --> 01:16:34,924 BOB: Hey, there's my girl! 1535 01:16:34,958 --> 01:16:37,260 Hi! Charlie! 1536 01:16:37,293 --> 01:16:39,963 Who left my baby in the middle of the desert? 1537 01:16:39,996 --> 01:16:41,931 There we go! 1538 01:16:41,965 --> 01:16:43,733 Good thing I took that shortcut, or I never would have... 1539 01:16:43,767 --> 01:16:48,571 Hole in one! Is that the Stone of Mitrios? 1540 01:16:48,604 --> 01:16:50,740 The real thing. Did you finish the game? 1541 01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:54,010 Yeah, I did. I got thumb blisters like you wouldn't believe. 1542 01:16:54,043 --> 01:16:55,779 Who's that? Mama. 1543 01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:57,747 Who's that? That's Mommy. 1544 01:16:57,781 --> 01:16:59,448 Petunia, how'd you get the car seat to work? 1545 01:16:59,482 --> 01:17:00,950 It was easy. 1546 01:17:00,984 --> 01:17:02,919 This thing was stuck in the mechanism. 1547 01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,454 It just about fell out in my hands. 1548 01:17:06,823 --> 01:17:08,124 The star! 1549 01:17:08,157 --> 01:17:09,659 (ALL LAUGHING) 1550 01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:12,628 AMY: Okay, Charlie! You're on! 1551 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,805 Way to carry on the tradition, Charlie! 1552 01:17:23,707 --> 01:17:26,509 It certainly has been a strange holiday. 1553 01:17:26,542 --> 01:17:31,014 Actually, Mom, I think this is the best Christmas I've ever had. 1554 01:17:31,047 --> 01:17:33,482 Thanks for saying that, Mama. 1555 01:17:33,516 --> 01:17:35,952 I'll second that. Best Christmas ever! 1556 01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:37,120 Thirded! 1557 01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:38,487 Amen, brother! Ow! 1558 01:17:39,555 --> 01:17:40,890 Dude, you... 1559 01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:43,993 Hi. 1560 01:17:44,027 --> 01:17:45,594 (GASPS) Dude! Did you see that? 1561 01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:48,031 She just winked at me! 1562 01:17:48,064 --> 01:17:49,398 It's a Christmas miracle. 1563 01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:52,668 Who wants pancakes? 1564 01:17:52,702 --> 01:17:54,003 (ALL CHEERING) 1565 01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:56,940 Hey, look at this! They look like little Christmas trees. 1566 01:17:58,441 --> 01:18:00,009 Speaking of Christmas miracles... 1567 01:18:00,744 --> 01:18:01,911 I have another one. 1568 01:18:01,945 --> 01:18:03,346 Oh, I have to film this. 1569 01:18:07,784 --> 01:18:09,452 AMY: Okay, here goes. 1570 01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:11,921 Are you ready? 1571 01:18:11,955 --> 01:18:13,289 We're having another baby! 1572 01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:16,259 (ALL CHEERING) 1573 01:18:18,394 --> 01:18:22,498 Congratulations! Mints all around! 1574 01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:24,567 Well, I know one thing you're good at. 1575 01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,535 Making beautiful babies. 1576 01:18:28,104 --> 01:18:29,638 I love you, too, Petunia. 1577 01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:33,676 Well, it looks like you're going to be a big sister, too. 1578 01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:35,211 Good luck, Charlie! 1579 01:18:39,615 --> 01:18:44,220 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1580 01:18:48,157 --> 01:18:49,759 Sir, you're going to have to check this. No. 1581 01:18:49,793 --> 01:18:52,061 No, I'm not... Give me... 1582 01:18:52,095 --> 01:18:53,396 (GRUNTING) 1583 01:18:53,429 --> 01:18:54,898 Give it up, Gabe. 1584 01:18:57,300 --> 01:19:02,271 Ladies and gentlemen, due to our aggressive policy of overselling all flights, 1585 01:19:02,305 --> 01:19:03,940 we are overbooked by one seat. 1586 01:19:03,973 --> 01:19:05,741 So if anyone wants a free roundtrip... 1587 01:19:05,775 --> 01:19:07,010 Right here! Whoo! 1588 01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:11,747 Your turn. 1589 01:19:13,850 --> 01:19:15,819 We'll be back by New Year's. 1590 01:19:15,852 --> 01:19:17,353 No, you won't. 1591 01:19:24,027 --> 01:19:27,964 At what price, Teddy? At what price? 1592 01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:30,133 I mean, what if we... 1593 01:19:30,166 --> 01:19:31,801 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1594 01:19:34,303 --> 01:19:35,805 (CHUCKLING) 1595 01:19:35,839 --> 01:19:37,974 What am I doing? (LAUGHING) 1596 01:19:39,142 --> 01:19:40,609 MAN: Cut! 1597 01:19:40,643 --> 01:19:42,311 (BLEEP) 1598 01:19:42,345 --> 01:19:45,281 MAN: Set and action! 1599 01:19:45,314 --> 01:19:47,550 (IN SING-SONG VOICE) Oh, hey. Oh, hey. 1600 01:19:48,317 --> 01:19:49,953 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1601 01:19:51,620 --> 01:19:53,289 Yeah. Yeah. 1602 01:19:53,722 --> 01:19:55,024 And yoghurt. 1603 01:19:55,058 --> 01:19:57,360 (CHUCKLES) Yoghurt isn't even on the menu. 1604 01:19:59,028 --> 01:20:00,796 Know what I mean? (BLEEP) 1605 01:20:02,832 --> 01:20:04,767 I've no idea what you're talking about. 1606 01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:05,935 I do. 1607 01:20:05,969 --> 01:20:07,536 Bradley... (CHUCKLES) 1608 01:20:08,872 --> 01:20:10,239 And gag reel. 116944

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