Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,482
♪ If there's an ocean,
it's just a puddle
2
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,351
♪ That I've got
to get across
3
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:20,388
♪ Any mountain
I'll climb over
4
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,591
♪ Like a kid
on the monkey bars
5
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,594
♪ I know you're out
there somewhere
6
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,697
♪ I know you'll miss me
just like I miss you
7
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,600
♪ No matter what
I'll get there
8
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,269
♪ And you know
I'll never stop
9
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:38,906
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
10
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,242
♪ I'm gonna run to you
11
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:44,712
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
12
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,781
♪ I'm gonna run to you
13
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:51,119
♪ You know I'll find you
I'm never far behind you
14
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,454
♪ I swear these words
are true
15
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:57,057
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
16
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,627
♪ I'm gonna run to you
17
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,896
♪ Every minute
18
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,567
♪ I'm getting closer
I'm gonna show you
19
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,272
♪ Any second
I'll run through that door
20
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:15,042
♪ Here I come, yeah!
21
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,611
♪ Oh, here I come
22
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:21,249
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
23
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,551
♪ I'm gonna run to you
24
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:27,087
♪ I'm gonna run,
run, run, run, run
25
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,823
♪ I'm gonna run to you
26
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,598
Guess what, Charlie?
27
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,333
We're one day away from going on
your first trip on an airplane
28
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,068
and celebrating
our first Christmas
29
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,070
at Grandma and Grandpa's
new condo in Palm Springs!
30
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,505
You're going to have
so much fun.
31
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,840
No, no, no, Mom, you have
to toddler-proof the place.
32
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,576
Just so long as you
don't touch anything.
33
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,245
No, anything breakable has to be at
least three feet off the ground.
34
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,346
(SHATTERING)
35
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,315
Uh-oh.
36
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,285
Make that four.
I gotta go.
37
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,852
Charlie, get back in here!
38
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,855
No, no, no, stay away,
there's shards everywhere!
39
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,857
Are you eating a cookie
in the living room?
40
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,259
You get back here!
41
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,994
And stay away!
42
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,562
Mom's a little frazzled.
43
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,367
Mom, why are you
so stressed out?
44
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,636
Because this is an extremely
important Christmas.
45
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,004
Why?
46
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,672
Because!
47
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,408
Of...
The...
48
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,178
Because we're going
to Palm Springs!
49
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,614
Why is that more stressful?
50
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,616
You don't have to cook,
you don't have to clean.
51
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,451
You can just
sit out by the pool.
52
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:34,121
At what price, Teddy?
At what price?
53
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,525
What if we lose the things that make
Christmas in Denver so special?
54
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,661
Like the blizzards?
The endless chapped lips?
55
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:45,466
Listening to Mrs. Dabney's
talking Santa go "Ho, ho, ho,"
56
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,402
on an endless, rip-your-
own-eardrums-out loop?
57
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,539
No, I'm talking about
our family traditions!
58
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,140
Mom, I'm pretty sure
Dad's going to overeat
59
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,842
and get heartburn
no matter where we are.
60
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,645
No.
The good traditions!
61
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:02,250
Like making little tree-shaped
pancakes on Christmas morning!
62
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,084
We can do that at Grandma's.
63
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,355
I'm pretty sure flour and eggs
are available nationwide.
64
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,856
Okay. What about...
65
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,860
What about the star?
66
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,061
What?
67
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,297
The star on the tree tradition.
68
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,669
Where your father takes the
littlest Duncan in his arms
69
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,537
and lifts her
high to the heavens,
70
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,940
to crown the tree
with its finest jewel.
71
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,742
That is so not a big deal.
72
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,110
Are you kidding me?
73
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,280
Do you know how important
that is to your sister?
74
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:37,685
Look, Charlie!
It's the star!
75
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,920
And what do we do
with it on Christmas Eve?
76
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:42,923
No, no, no,
we don't eat the star.
77
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,225
(CHUCKLES)
78
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,727
No, no, no,
we do not throw the star.
79
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,928
We are not Christmas ninjas.
80
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,298
See? Not a big deal.
81
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,701
ROBOTIC SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho.
82
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,470
(EXCLAIMS)
It is so cold out there,
83
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,806
I'm pretty sure I saw
a snowman shivering!
84
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,441
PJ, will you tell your sister
85
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:03,444
how important the star on the
Christmas tree tradition is.
86
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,745
The what?
On the what?
87
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,113
(GROANS) Whatever.
88
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,383
Guys, check this out.
89
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,319
Snowmen!
90
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,620
You bought a Christmas swimsuit?
91
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,356
Uh, no, I bought
92
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,460
two Christmas swimsuits.
93
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,462
Well, that was money well spent.
94
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:22,930
I know!
95
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,399
I cannot wait to get
to sunny Palm Springs,
96
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,101
where the only thing that's
frozen are the slushies.
97
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,337
ROBOTIC SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho.
98
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,839
Wow.
That never gets old. Hey!
99
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,143
Look what I got for 30 bucks.
100
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,346
A stroller?
Yeah, a stroller.
101
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,515
And a car seat!
And an airplane seat!
102
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,751
And it's completely convertible!
103
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,918
I press this button right here,
104
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,820
the whole thing retracts.
105
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,725
In theory.
106
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,198
(GRUNTING) Come on!
107
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,305
It was 30 bucks!
(SIGHS)
108
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,274
Will you please tell your kids
109
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,777
how important the star
on the tree tradition is?
110
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,445
Uh, kids, very important.
111
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,947
What is? The thing
that your mom said.
112
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,683
(SIGHS) Whatever.
113
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,919
(GRUNTS)
114
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,489
(SNAPPING)
115
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,526
Ow! Ow!
116
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:37,905
Gabe.
117
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,873
Gabe.
118
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,677
Gabe!
119
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:48,215
What? I'm only 15 levels away from
capturing the Stone of Mitrios.
120
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,917
Galaxy of Death Two
is totally addictive!
121
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,885
(GASPS)
122
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,221
How is it that you're already
playing your Christmas present?
123
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,023
Did I say two?
124
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,428
I meant one.
Galaxy of Death One.
125
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,996
Obviously!
'Cause to play Two,
126
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,198
I would've had to figure out
where you hid the presents,
127
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,067
secretly unwrap mine,
take out the game disk,
128
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,769
rewrap the empty box, and, um...
129
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,105
Have I told you lately
how much I love you?
130
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,744
How important is the star on
the tree tradition to you?
131
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,045
How important
do you want it to be?
132
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,246
Wouldn't be
Christmas without it.
133
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,514
It really wouldn't.
134
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,215
Tell your siblings that?
135
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,752
I'll tell everybody that! I'll call
random strangers and tell them!
136
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,954
Excellent.
137
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,256
Oh. Can I bring my game
system to Grandma's?
138
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,791
No, you may not.
139
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,225
Okay. No big deal.
140
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,027
(GAME RESUMES)
141
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,430
And I will be searching your
luggage before we leave.
142
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,731
Dang it!
143
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:42,570
"If handles do not retract,
apply gentle pressure."
144
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,771
(GRUNTING)
145
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,706
You know, it might be a feature.
146
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,710
Like it's a combination
car-seat-stroller-exercise-machine.
147
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,011
(DOORBELL CHIMES)
148
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,715
Okay, just so you know, Teddy,
149
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:58,786
that star on the tree tradition means
everything to your brother Gabe!
150
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,488
(SNIFFLES)
Where is it?
151
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,058
ROBOTIC SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho.
152
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,761
Can it, Santa!
Hey. Hi, Mr. D.
153
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,597
(GRUNTING) Hey!
154
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,264
Wow. What's going
on in here?
155
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,566
We're going to Palm
Springs for Christmas.
156
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,067
Oh, right!
157
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,138
Two plane rides to exotic
destinations in four months.
158
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,941
You did tell your parents
about Spring Break, right?
159
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,943
We have to book those
tickets by next week.
160
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,745
No, I know! I know! I'm just
waiting for a good time to ask.
161
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,113
Is now a good time?
162
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,749
Really?
163
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,851
I can't find the star, okay?
Umm.
164
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,921
No star!
Christmas is ruined!
165
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,489
(WEEPING)
166
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,258
All right.
Not a good time.
167
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,794
But just remember, if you
don't book that ticket soon,
168
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,830
you're gonna be spending Spring
Break right on that couch.
169
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,898
ROBOTIC SANTA: Ho, ho, ho.
And I'm going out the back.
170
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,302
Oh! Victory!
(WHOOPS)
171
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,704
(CHEERING)
172
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,974
So... Dad.
173
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,443
Daddy-o.
174
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,946
Big D. Don't add to
the stress, kiddo.
175
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,281
Why are you guys so on edge?
176
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,384
And why's Mom freaking out about
that stupid star on the tree?
177
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,120
Honey, because sometimes the
thing that you focus on
178
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,889
isn't the thing that's
causing all the stress.
179
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,958
So what is?
180
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,493
The... Well, it's...
181
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,063
The...
182
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:19,232
The first time
we're spending Christmas
183
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,234
at your grandparents'
new place in Palm Springs.
184
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,670
So?
185
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,404
So...
186
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,074
So, when I married your mom,
187
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,577
your grandmother thought...
188
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,478
Your grandmother
thought I was an idiot
189
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,080
that had ruined
her daughter's life.
190
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,916
This is my chance
to change that impression.
191
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,386
Dad, you've been spending Christmas
with Grandma for 20 years.
192
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,788
And I really think
this is my year.
193
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,156
What?
194
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,659
Oh! Mom, Mom, Mom.
Okay, so...
195
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,761
Ivy and I have this
awesome opportunity!
196
00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:50,598
Her aunt lives in Florida.
On the beach!
197
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,000
And she said that Ivy and I could
stay with her over Spring Break.
198
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,035
Isn't that great?
Yeah, sure.
199
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,104
If you were 23 years old.
200
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,907
Teddy, you are too young to go
across the country without an adult.
201
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,441
Mom, that is so unfair!
202
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:05,178
End of story! We are not spending
another minute discussing this.
203
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,180
TEDDY: But, Mom, you let
me baby-sit Charlie.
204
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,749
AMY: Why are we
still discussing this?
205
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,250
Because it's not right.
206
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,752
You know what's not right?
207
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,421
A 14-hour argument when there's
nothing to argue about.
208
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,089
For the last time, no!
209
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,258
(SNORTS) She thinks that's
going to be the last time.
210
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,627
(LAUGHS)
211
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,261
So I'm old enough to take care
of Charlie but not myself?
212
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,896
Mom, that doesn't
make any sense!
213
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,765
Sweetheart, I'm your mother,
I never make sense.
214
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,533
(SIGHS) Okay,
let me rephrase this.
215
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,268
Please, please, please,
please, please...
216
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:31,772
All right.
Honey, I got this.
217
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,774
Okay, kiddo, I'll tell you what.
218
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,744
If you can be responsible enough
to buy your own plane ticket,
219
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,379
then you are responsible enough
to go to Florida on your own.
220
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,648
Bob!
Dad, that's impossible!
221
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,282
I have to buy the
ticket by next week!
222
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,584
Ooh. Not so easy
being an adult, is it?
223
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,355
See that?
Problem solved.
224
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,293
Oh, no!
225
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,196
Metal detectors!
226
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,132
Relax.
I think you'll make it.
227
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,068
As long as you're not
smuggling anything!
228
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,302
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
229
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,178
Sir, could you please
retract that stroller?
230
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,146
Probably not without
pulling a muscle.
231
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,888
You all right, dude?
You look a little sweaty.
232
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,958
I'm fine. Yeah.
I'm fine. I'm cool.
233
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,195
Come on, son.
234
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,031
(ALARM BLARING)
235
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,200
Code red! Code red!
Hands in the air!
236
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,535
Code red! Code red!
This is a code red!
237
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,070
GUARD: Hang on,
please, don't move.
238
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,639
(LAUGHS)
239
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,375
He is not the wisest man
in the manger, is he?
240
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,813
Who would try to smuggle a game
system without a controller?
241
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,047
(ALARM BLARING)
242
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,617
(EXCLAIMS) Whoa!
243
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,820
How did that get there?
244
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,988
You're a really heavy sleeper.
245
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,794
Okay, you're clear to go.
246
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:04,064
And thank you for the
extremely thorough search.
247
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,367
You guys, our flight leaves
in two minutes! Go! Run!
248
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:11,872
Okay.
249
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,075
Bob! Hurry!
250
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,276
Right behind you!
251
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,614
Okay, honey, you know what?
252
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,218
We're going for a sleigh ride!
253
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,520
♪ I said run, run, Rudolph
254
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,790
♪ Santa's gotta
make it to town
255
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,727
♪ Santa, make him hurry
256
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:36,463
♪ Tell him he can
take the freeway down
257
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,433
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
258
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,936
♪ 'Cause I'm racin'
like a merry go round
259
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,940
♪ Said Santa to a boy child
260
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,542
♪ What have you
been longing for?
261
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,213
♪ All I want for Christmas
262
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,783
♪ Is a rock 'n' roll
electric guitar
263
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,920
♪ And away went Rudolph
264
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:04,057
♪ Whizzing like
a shooting star, yeah
265
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,626
♪ I said run, run, Rudolph
266
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,930
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
267
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,264
♪ Yeah
268
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,133
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
269
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,636
♪ I said run, run, Rudolph
270
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,239
♪ Run, run, Rudolph
271
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,740
(GRUNTS)
272
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,877
You didn't need to do that, sir.
We saw you coming.
273
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,613
♪ Santa Claus
is coming to town ♪
274
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:32,752
Can I buy a headset?
275
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:33,787
Sure.
276
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,224
Look at you.
277
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,160
All that joy, trapped in
a skinny, little box.
278
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,796
Oh, so sad.
279
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,966
Dude. You didn't even
bring the game with you.
280
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,101
(EXCLAIMS)
281
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,270
Yeah, I did.
282
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,538
(GRUNTS)
283
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,642
There. Finally.
284
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,012
It's fine.
We'll leave it up.
285
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,114
Sir, can you put
that handle down?
286
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,182
Can you?
287
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,051
I'll get it.
288
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,120
If I can have your attention.
289
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,956
We are overbooked by one seat.
290
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,291
So we're looking for a volunteer
to take a later flight
291
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,961
in exchange for a free round
trip ticket to any destination.
292
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,628
Me!
293
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,699
What are you doing?
294
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,668
I'm being responsible! For getting
a plane ticket to Spring Break.
295
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,003
I'll be on the next flight out!
296
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,171
Are you going
to let her do that?
297
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,472
Little busy here, honey.
298
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,806
I'll meet you guys
in Palm Springs!
299
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,476
Probably just be
a couple hours behind you.
300
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,644
I have to go with her, right?
Uh-huh.
301
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,716
(SHOUTS) Yes!
302
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,785
There we go!
That's the way to do it!
303
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,121
There you go.
Yeah, baby!
304
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,257
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
305
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,327
Where's your mom?
306
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,197
You know, ma'am, we only
asked for the one volunteer.
307
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,233
You think I'm going to let my daughter
get off the plane by herself?
308
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,535
You want to tell me how to be a parent?
You want to go there?
309
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,371
No, ma'am.
No, I don't.
310
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,874
Here's your free ticket.
311
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,243
And let's see about
getting both of you
312
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,045
on the next available flight.
313
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,114
Which is...
314
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,150
...in three days.
What?
315
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,419
Okay, Mom, I am going to show
you how responsible I am.
316
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,254
Okay?
Let me handle this.
317
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:18,258
You don't really mean
three days, do you?
318
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,659
Yes, I do.
319
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,861
That's the next flight
that isn't fully booked.
320
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,063
It is the holidays.
321
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,233
But it won't be in three days.
322
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:30,070
That's December 26th.
Christmas will be over.
323
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,172
I'm sorry.
It's the best we can do.
324
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,373
Oh.
325
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,909
I think we can do better.
326
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:39,579
Ma'am, are you telling
me how to do my job?
327
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,381
Do you want to go there?
328
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,584
Oh, yeah.
I want to go there.
329
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,923
Guys, guys, put me down.
Put me down!
330
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:52,960
Really very unnecessary!
331
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,427
Mom, you shouldn't have hit her.
332
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:58,065
I didn't hit her! I was
gesturing for emphasis.
333
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,799
Mom, you gestured her
right in the nose!
334
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,435
What's gotten into you?
335
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:06,539
Teddy, we're 1000 miles from Palm
Springs and we can't get a flight!
336
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,874
We're going to miss Christmas!
337
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,609
Mom, Mom, Mom, don't freak out!
338
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,544
I will find a way to
get us to Palm Springs.
339
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,912
How?
340
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,281
Well...
341
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,150
Wait for it.
342
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,621
Bus!
343
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,756
I could've thought of that.
344
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,164
Well, Charlie, here we are,
on our luxury motor coach.
345
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:34,834
For our brief, 18-hour
ride to Palm Springs.
346
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,803
Too bad the video can't
quite capture the smell.
347
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,638
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
348
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:42,042
Look, someone brought livestock!
Is that even legal?
349
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,613
TEDDY: Look, Charlie,
we found you a boyfriend.
350
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,450
That might have been
my last video diary.
351
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,929
Yes! This is what
I've always wanted, man.
352
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,297
An 80 degree Christmas.
353
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,765
Man, this is beautiful.
354
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,535
Hey, honey. Honey?
Where are you?
355
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,104
On a bus.
But don't worry,
356
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:14,674
we'll be there in
just 18 short hours!
357
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,477
You're gonna leave me alone
with your mother for 18 hours?
358
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,280
Well, honey, my dad's there.
359
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,781
Form an alliance with him.
360
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,617
And just keep her focused on the kids.
She loves them.
361
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,986
Oh, my gosh. I think
my seat has bedbugs!
362
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,622
He's taking the chickens out of the cage!
I gotta go! Bye!
363
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,058
He's what... Honey?
364
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,660
Honey?
365
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,162
What's the matter, Dad?
366
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,896
Your mom's delayed
367
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,699
and the chickens are out of the
cages, whatever that means.
368
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,369
All right, guys.
One rule.
369
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,572
Do not leave me alone
in a room with Grandma.
370
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,507
I heard that.
Oh, hey!
371
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,709
GABE: Grandma!
372
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,744
(SIGHING)
373
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:55,548
Oh! My little angels!
374
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,850
Hi!
375
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,886
Gramps!
How you doing?
376
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,691
Okay.
377
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:08,661
(GASPS) Sweet Charlie!
Look how you've grown!
378
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,663
Who wants a mint?
379
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,665
Hey, Hank!
How are you?
380
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,535
Well, I only got half a kidney
left, but I'm still here.
381
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,438
Mint?
Okay.
382
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,341
Where's my daughter and Teddy?
383
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,511
Um, they're on a bus.
384
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,047
You couldn't kill enough bugs to
pay for two extra plane tickets?
385
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,283
Zing!
Good one, Grandma!
386
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,451
In your face!
387
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,752
Petunia, it's just
a little mix-up.
388
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,421
They're gonna be here tomorrow.
389
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:38,625
All aboard! Next stop, Fountain
of Youth Condominiums.
390
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:42,162
Wow. Grandpa, how'd you
get an antique like this?
391
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,797
I bought it new.
392
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,806
This could be fun!
393
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,974
Right?
394
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:59,078
Look, I bought magazines
at the bus station.
395
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,448
Yeah, I'm not really
up for reading right now.
396
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,082
Oh, don't worry, these
are fashion magazines.
397
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,617
They don't require
any reading at all!
398
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,286
Mmm.
399
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,758
You okay?
You look a little green.
400
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,261
Yeah, I think I'm getting
a little carsick.
401
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,895
Can I borrow your bag?
402
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,764
Let me just take the magazines...
(RETCHES)
403
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,267
...out.
404
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,335
Oh, that is...
Not over yet!
405
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,803
(RETCHES)
406
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,407
Wow, Mom.
407
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,676
That's a really harsh
review of the spring line.
408
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,919
PJ: Goodbye,
freezing snowmen,
409
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,823
hello smoking-hot
granddaughters.
410
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,592
Their mothers aren't bad either!
411
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,760
Oh, hey!
412
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,329
By the way, speaking of hot,
413
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,831
make sure you wear your sunblock.
The sun here is brutal.
414
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,333
Do they make holiday sunblock?
415
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,134
One that smells like
eggnog instead of coconut?
416
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,471
Do you know what
he's talking about?
417
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,972
Not at all.
418
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,475
His brain works
differently than ours do.
419
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,947
(CHUCKLES) Come on in.
420
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,516
Kiddie suite to the left.
421
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,150
To the left,
kiddie suite to the left.
422
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,819
Don't touch the pillow mints.
423
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,521
They're for later.
424
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,690
All right.
425
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,693
You know, Charlie's at a
pretty rambunctious age.
426
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,729
I mean, you, uh...
427
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,897
You did child-proof
the place, right?
428
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,733
Of course!
Everything's been put away
429
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,535
except the
Christmas decorations.
430
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:31,204
Just keep her away from the
low-hanging tree ornaments.
431
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:35,242
And my antique nativity scene.
432
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,645
And especially Santa's reindeer.
433
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,749
It's priceless. They haven't
made one like that in 50 years.
434
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,116
Santa!
435
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,420
Oh! No, no! No!
No, no, no.
436
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:51,758
(LAUGHS) No!
No, no, no, no.
437
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,261
Any chance we could
put this stuff away?
438
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,497
Don't be ridiculous! Just
tell her not to touch them.
439
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,866
You did have kids once, right?
440
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,269
Yes.
Ours were well-behaved
441
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,537
because we knew
how to parent them.
442
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,706
Okay.
443
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,743
(AMY RETCHING)
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
444
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,412
Hey, Mom, you okay?
445
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,181
Just peachy, sweetheart...
(RETCHING)
446
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,785
Okay, 'cause somebody's been
waiting for over an hour.
447
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,753
You probably wouldn't want
to go in there anyway.
448
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,722
(TOILET FLUSHING)
449
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,491
(EXCLAIMS) Hold the phone!
450
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,632
Keep her away from my chickens.
451
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,335
(MUTTERING)
452
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,206
(AMY SIGHS)
That mountain air is nice.
453
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,774
Shouldn't we be
finding a doctor?
454
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,810
I'm fine! I was just
a little carsick.
455
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:47,246
(SCOFFS) That's like calling World
War II just a little disagreement.
456
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,249
Oh, look at you, staying
awake during history class.
457
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,984
Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry,
458
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,420
but I can't let you
back on the bus.
459
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,788
The other passengers
refuse to travel with you.
460
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,123
What?
461
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,060
Okay. Listen, people,
462
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,129
I didn't want to get on this
stinking bus in the first place!
463
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,433
Ah, you think that's funny?
464
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,636
Mom, you might
want to be careful.
465
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,271
The chickens are getting
into their fighting position.
466
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:15,608
So what I think my mom
is trying to express
467
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,610
is it's a little bit unfair
that you're letting
468
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,580
the chicken man
on the bus, but not us.
469
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,115
Yeah, but the chickens aren't
grossing everybody out.
470
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,250
(EXCLAIMS)
471
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,419
Okay, bus jockey,
here's how it's gonna go.
472
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:30,122
You are going to let us on this luxury
motor coach or it is going to get ugly.
473
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,193
(AMY GRUMBLING)
474
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,595
Just let it go, ma'am.
475
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,430
For the last time,
I didn't hit anybody.
476
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,333
Yeah, I know. You were just
gesturing for emphasis.
477
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,268
Is there a train station
around here?
478
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,271
Oh, yeah, sure.
Historical society runs it.
479
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,641
Of course, there hasn't been an actual
train there since the late 1800s.
480
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,478
Butch Cassidy robbed it once!
481
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,946
Oh. How about
a rental car place?
482
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:57,550
Maybe try Lenny's. Just up
the hill about eight miles.
483
00:21:57,584 --> 00:22:00,720
I'd take you there myself,
but rush hour's starting
484
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:03,623
and someone's gotta
turn on the traffic light.
485
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,525
But don't worry,
you start walking now,
486
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,959
you'll make it there by sundown.
487
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,728
(SOBBING)
488
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,630
We're gonna miss Christmas.
489
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:14,834
No, no, Mom. No, we're not!
It's just eight miles!
490
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,738
And then, like, another 800.
491
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:22,642
Going to be after sundown if you
can't walk and cry at the same time.
492
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,144
How about you show
a little compassion, mister?
493
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,980
Come on.
Oh, this stinks!
494
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:31,418
Who says I can't walk and cry
at the same time. You watch me!
495
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:34,220
(WAILING)
496
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:36,322
I bet your father's
warm and dry,
497
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,025
and probably snuggled up on
the couch with the kids,
498
00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:41,193
watching a sweet,
little Christmas movie.
499
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,295
(ROARING)
500
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,301
Oh!
501
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,077
(ROARING)
502
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,780
(FOOTSTEPS THUMPING)
503
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:15,995
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
504
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,507
(SCREECHING)
505
00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:46,959
No!
506
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:13,620
No! No! No! No!
507
00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:17,389
No! No!
508
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,596
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
509
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,431
Bob!
510
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,867
What are you doing
with my reindeer?
511
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,436
Bad Daddy.
512
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,906
Good girl, Charlie. At least
someone knows how to behave.
513
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,848
(TOILET FLUSHING)
514
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:50,122
Hey, there!
Why the glum look?
515
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:51,991
Here, have a mint.
516
00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:55,161
Thanks, Grandpa.
517
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,329
I'm just all ripped up inside.
518
00:24:57,363 --> 00:24:59,566
I lost my best friend today.
519
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:03,035
Oh, I'm so sorry, kiddo.
520
00:25:03,069 --> 00:25:05,572
Oh! What was his name?
521
00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:08,675
Z-Station Deluxe
Home Gaming System.
522
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:11,544
Oh. Heck,
I got one of those.
523
00:25:11,578 --> 00:25:12,912
What?
524
00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:16,148
Oh, you're the greatest grandpa
in the history of grandpas!
525
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,550
So what games do you have?
526
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:18,785
Golf.
527
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,520
And?
528
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:22,755
What more would I need?
529
00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:26,525
Oh, Grandpa,
put down your putter.
530
00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:30,029
There's a whole other
world out there.
531
00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:33,099
Allow me to introduce you to
the work of Chuck Jablowsky,
532
00:25:33,132 --> 00:25:36,603
one of the greatest video game
designers in human history.
533
00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:40,272
"Galaxy of Death Two"?
534
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:42,208
What's that got to do with golf?
535
00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:45,311
(CHUCKLES)
Absolutely nothing.
536
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:47,880
(AMY CRYING)
537
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,488
Mom, if you cry any louder
you'll trigger an avalanche.
538
00:25:57,489 --> 00:26:00,059
It's Christmas Eve eve, Teddy.
539
00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:02,261
I want to be with my baby.
540
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:04,230
And my other babies.
541
00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:05,932
And my big daddy baby.
542
00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:07,533
Mom, I will get us there!
543
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,202
I will, but you've
got to chill out.
544
00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:12,438
'Cause every five minutes,
you're either punching somebody
545
00:26:12,471 --> 00:26:15,274
or bursting into tears.
546
00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:17,910
Hey, what was with that
star-on-the-tree freak-out yesterday?
547
00:26:17,944 --> 00:26:19,245
Well, that...
548
00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:21,614
Look, it's Lenny's!
549
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:27,754
We walked eight miles for that?
550
00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:30,957
(SOBBING)
551
00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:38,097
Hey.
552
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,733
Hi!
You must be Lenny.
553
00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,968
Nope. I'm Daryl.
554
00:26:42,635 --> 00:26:44,236
Are you sure about that?
555
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,706
Yeah, I bought Lenny out.
556
00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:49,676
This came with the place.
557
00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:52,611
I thought I'd keep the name
for marketing purposes.
558
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:56,015
Plus the jumpsuit fit.
559
00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:59,151
Well, sort of. Lenny's
kind of got monkey arms.
560
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,288
Do you rent cars, by any chance?
561
00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:03,823
Let me think.
562
00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:06,292
No.
563
00:27:06,325 --> 00:27:08,127
Y'all need a ride somewhere?
564
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,428
Palm Springs.
565
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,430
Oh, that's a skooch
out of my way.
566
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,600
Well, do you know any place
we can rent a car?
567
00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:16,035
Well, if you take
this road right here,
568
00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:18,604
and you go about 600 miles
you'll hit Las Vegas.
569
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,172
(WHINING)
570
00:27:20,873 --> 00:27:22,641
Aw.
571
00:27:22,675 --> 00:27:24,376
You in a tough spot, hon?
572
00:27:24,410 --> 00:27:26,445
(SQUEAKILY) Mmm-hmm.
573
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:28,147
Tell you what,
574
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:30,616
I do have an old Yugo
I could sell you.
575
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,051
A Yugo?
Mmm-hmm.
576
00:27:32,084 --> 00:27:34,620
What's a Yugo?
577
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:37,957
It's a car that's
10 years older than you,
578
00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:41,160
built in a country
that no longer exists.
579
00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:42,428
It's 50 bucks.
580
00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:44,596
BOTH: We'll take it.
581
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:51,904
Okay, 50 bucks.
Yup, worth every penny.
582
00:27:51,938 --> 00:27:53,372
Every penny.
583
00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:58,911
Now, you might want
to baby her a little.
584
00:27:58,945 --> 00:28:00,112
She's seen better days.
585
00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:02,248
When?
586
00:28:02,281 --> 00:28:05,351
Hey, Daryl, are you sure it won't
fall apart at 60 miles an hour?
587
00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:08,755
Oh, don't worry, she won't
go near that speed.
588
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,323
(METAL CREAKING)
589
00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:12,759
Good luck!
590
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,928
Oh, if you're gonna
use the radio,
591
00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:17,897
you're gonna need this.
592
00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:26,105
I got you!
I got you!
593
00:28:27,606 --> 00:28:29,108
(GRUNTS)
594
00:28:30,777 --> 00:28:33,079
Oh, they got me!
595
00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:35,181
Yes! You're dead!
Can I play now?
596
00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:37,750
No, it's too late!
I respawned.
597
00:28:37,784 --> 00:28:39,585
Grandpa, that's not fair!
598
00:28:39,618 --> 00:28:41,620
Let me just level up again!
599
00:28:41,653 --> 00:28:43,856
You've been saying
that for two hours!
600
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:45,591
I'm starting to worry about you!
601
00:28:45,624 --> 00:28:47,927
This is really unhealthy.
602
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,962
You love your grandpa, right?
603
00:28:49,996 --> 00:28:51,898
Of course I do.
604
00:28:51,931 --> 00:28:54,566
Then tell me how to
get past the Plains of Fire.
605
00:28:55,601 --> 00:28:57,103
Who do I have to take out first,
606
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:59,505
the guys in the Tower of Doom,
or the ones on the ground?
607
00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:04,243
Neither.
608
00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:06,779
You sneak around the ridge
and attack from behind.
609
00:29:06,813 --> 00:29:09,748
Plus there's an extra
power-up behind that boulder.
610
00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:12,418
You're a good boy.
Take a mint.
611
00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:13,853
No, I'm good.
612
00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:18,290
Honey. Come on,
don't you want to find out
613
00:29:18,324 --> 00:29:19,691
what happened at
the hippos' picnic?
614
00:29:20,192 --> 00:29:21,327
No!
615
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,095
Well, you can't
expect her to love books
616
00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:25,164
if you never read
to her at home.
617
00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:26,899
I read to her all the time.
618
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:28,100
Nuh-uh!
619
00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:36,142
Wow, I met so many
hot babes at the pool.
620
00:29:36,175 --> 00:29:38,544
Literally, it's, like,
110 degrees out there.
621
00:29:39,645 --> 00:29:40,913
What happened to you?
622
00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:42,681
I fell asleep at the pool
for a few hours.
623
00:29:42,714 --> 00:29:44,951
But don't worry,
I was wearing this.
624
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:51,023
PJ, this isn't sunblock.
This is suntan oil!
625
00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,491
What's the difference?
626
00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,126
One protects your skin
from the harmful rays,
627
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,096
the other fries you
like a wonton.
628
00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,466
Oh. No wonder I was
feeling a little crispy.
629
00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:02,935
You've just been raising
yourself, haven't you?
630
00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:04,803
You want to come live with us?
631
00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:08,140
(LAUGHING)
632
00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:12,444
Way to get in the Christmas
spirit, Santa Claus!
633
00:30:12,478 --> 00:30:13,645
(GROANS)
634
00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:15,848
Gabe!
635
00:30:15,882 --> 00:30:18,817
Sorry. Know what will
make that feel better?
636
00:30:18,851 --> 00:30:20,386
A nice, hot shower.
637
00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:21,653
Really?
Yeah.
638
00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:23,689
The ignorance!
639
00:30:23,722 --> 00:30:26,125
It's like you've been
raised by wolves!
640
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:27,226
Fat wolves.
641
00:30:28,694 --> 00:30:31,697
Man, first I was freezing,
now I'm burning up.
642
00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:33,432
This is not the
vacation I dreamed of.
643
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:35,767
(GLASS SHATTERING)
644
00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:38,104
(EXCLAIMS)
645
00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:43,042
(SIGHS) Me neither.
646
00:30:47,613 --> 00:30:50,549
This should be a good
place for a time-out.
647
00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:52,584
(CHUCKLES) I don't think
Charlie needs a time-out.
648
00:30:52,618 --> 00:30:54,820
Of course not!
She's an angel!
649
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,555
I'm talking about you.
650
00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:59,926
Now you just sit there
651
00:30:59,959 --> 00:31:04,063
and think about what it
means to be a good parent.
652
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,265
You want to make
cookies with Grandma?
653
00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:07,799
Yay!
Yay!
654
00:31:11,037 --> 00:31:12,271
Bad Daddy.
655
00:31:13,239 --> 00:31:14,440
No cookies.
656
00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:20,479
Oh, this is not happening.
657
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,788
This is happening.
658
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:35,061
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
659
00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:42,268
What are you doing?
660
00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:44,971
I think it helps
if we lean forward.
661
00:31:45,004 --> 00:31:47,373
Is there any way we can
go around the mountains?
662
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:51,110
Oh, sure, honey. Just take a left
at Mexico and swing back around.
663
00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:53,712
Sweetie, would you turn
the headlights on?
664
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,547
They are on.
No, they're not.
665
00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:58,217
Then we don't have any.
666
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,952
Great. Let me check
the owner's manual.
667
00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,421
(COUGHS)
668
00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:10,429
Ah. What's Serbian
for "headlight"?
669
00:32:11,964 --> 00:32:13,599
Are you sure you don't
want me to drive?
670
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:15,767
No. I can handle it.
671
00:32:15,801 --> 00:32:17,269
I'm a responsible adult,
672
00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,138
who can go on Spring Break
673
00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:21,507
without another responsible
adult, because I am one.
674
00:32:21,974 --> 00:32:23,609
Myself.
675
00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:25,144
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
676
00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:30,582
Hi, honey!
How's your vacation?
677
00:32:30,616 --> 00:32:32,151
Your mother
locked me in a bedroom.
678
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:33,252
Oh, what did you do?
679
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,254
I didn't do anything!
680
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,823
(SIGHS) When are you
going to get here?
681
00:32:37,856 --> 00:32:39,825
Uh, well, at the
speed we're going,
682
00:32:39,858 --> 00:32:41,427
I'd say Groundhog Day.
683
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,762
(SIGHS)
Please hurry.
684
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,665
Honey, I'm doing the best I can.
We're in a Yugo.
685
00:32:46,698 --> 00:32:49,935
No, no, they're not
still making those.
686
00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:52,171
Do you speak Serbian?
No, wait...
687
00:32:52,204 --> 00:32:54,306
Maybe it's Croatian.
688
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:56,808
You want the kids to translate
it on the Internet?
689
00:32:56,842 --> 00:32:59,378
I suppose I could yell at
them through a heating duct.
690
00:32:59,411 --> 00:33:03,149
The kids! Are they having a good time?
Where are they?
691
00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:06,685
Uh, Charlie's with your mom.
Gabe's with your dad.
692
00:33:06,718 --> 00:33:09,121
And...
(PJ SCREAMING)
693
00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:12,024
Well, sounds like PJ
just got in the shower.
694
00:33:12,058 --> 00:33:13,992
Oh! Mom!
The road's leveling out.
695
00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:17,229
Oh, oh! Gotta go! We're kicking it
up to 10 miles an hour! Love you!
696
00:33:17,263 --> 00:33:18,664
No, no, no. Don't...
697
00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:21,067
(SIGHING)
698
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,568
Look!
699
00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,504
Oh! What a relief.
700
00:33:25,537 --> 00:33:28,607
Okay, it's all downhill
from here. Literally.
701
00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:38,550
Oh. Uh, you can
slow down a little bit.
702
00:33:38,584 --> 00:33:39,718
Yeah, I'm trying.
703
00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:41,420
Whoa, whoa, slow down.
I can't!
704
00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:43,089
Put your foot on the brake!
It's the one on the left!
705
00:33:43,122 --> 00:33:44,523
I know!
It's not working!
706
00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,158
Okay, okay, don't panic!
707
00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:47,593
I'm not panicking!
708
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:48,960
(SCREAMING)
709
00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:55,901
Okay. Okay. Remember you
are an excellent driver.
710
00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:57,569
You really think so?
711
00:33:57,603 --> 00:34:00,406
Right this second, I think it's
very important that you think so.
712
00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:04,610
(TIRES SCREECHING)
713
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:06,912
Okay. Okay.
714
00:34:06,945 --> 00:34:08,247
Try the parking brake!
715
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,481
Oh, great.
716
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:12,084
Uh, here you go.
717
00:34:12,118 --> 00:34:13,585
What am I supposed
to do with this?
718
00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:15,053
Beat Lenny to a pulp with it!
719
00:34:15,087 --> 00:34:16,255
His name is Daryl!
720
00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,258
Okay.
721
00:34:19,291 --> 00:34:21,493
On the bright side,
it's not snowing.
722
00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:26,632
Oh, why did you
have to say that?
723
00:34:26,665 --> 00:34:28,900
I'm sorry!
724
00:34:28,934 --> 00:34:30,636
Turn the windshield wipers on!
725
00:34:32,138 --> 00:34:36,142
Really?
Oh, this is so intense!
726
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,044
Oh, I can barely see!
727
00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,447
Oh. Oh. Look, I see
a light up ahead!
728
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,948
Oh, my gosh!
Two lights!
729
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,384
They're headlights!
730
00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:47,253
(HORN BLARING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
731
00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:51,290
Okay, okay.
Don't panic!
732
00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,592
When the road levels out,
we'll coast to a stop.
733
00:34:53,625 --> 00:34:54,993
When will that be?
734
00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,295
Three, maybe four.
735
00:34:56,328 --> 00:34:57,796
Miles?
Hours.
736
00:35:03,969 --> 00:35:05,537
(SNORING)
737
00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:16,515
(HANK PLAYING VIDEO GAME)
738
00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:19,017
HANK: Bang! Bang, you're dead!
I got you!
739
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:24,556
Bang!
Got you again!
740
00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:29,828
Grandpa!
Five more minutes!
741
00:35:30,662 --> 00:35:32,431
Did you play all night?
742
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:36,602
Yeah, except I took a pee
break from 4:00 to 4:45.
743
00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:39,271
Then I got stuck in the
Wastelands of Gorlion,
744
00:35:39,305 --> 00:35:41,607
had to go online
to find a walkthrough.
745
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,710
Now I'm doing multiplayer
with some kids in Korea.
746
00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:47,546
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
747
00:35:49,415 --> 00:35:51,417
Grandpa, I can't let
you go on like this.
748
00:35:53,185 --> 00:35:55,654
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
749
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,094
It's for your own good.
750
00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:11,002
Have a mint?
751
00:36:13,205 --> 00:36:15,274
Grandpa, no! Grandpa!
752
00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:22,881
Grandpa's lost his mind!
753
00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:27,253
Well, that's one more thing he
and Grandma have in common.
754
00:36:27,286 --> 00:36:29,154
Are those mints in your hair?
755
00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,889
And up my nose.
756
00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:34,092
Come here.
I'm starving.
757
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:35,294
What?
758
00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:40,932
Really? Oh.
759
00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:44,135
Oh, this is
actually not too bad.
760
00:36:50,909 --> 00:36:52,411
(ROOSTER CALLING)
761
00:36:52,444 --> 00:36:54,580
Hey, wake up, wake up.
We're burning daylight.
762
00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:56,882
I had the worst dream.
763
00:36:58,817 --> 00:37:01,253
No. It's real.
764
00:37:01,287 --> 00:37:02,921
Let me get my seat up.
765
00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:04,456
I'll help.
766
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:11,297
Don't break the car.
767
00:37:11,330 --> 00:37:13,265
I'm not going to break the car!
Don't be ridiculous!
768
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:20,906
There you are.
Thanks.
769
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,645
We can fix that.
770
00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:45,764
But probably not that.
771
00:37:45,797 --> 00:37:48,099
(HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO)
772
00:37:48,133 --> 00:37:50,636
On the bright side,
the radio still works.
773
00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:53,705
Not the time.
774
00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:02,348
Well, that's the last of it.
775
00:38:04,049 --> 00:38:07,319
And here's the luggage
that was in the trunk.
776
00:38:08,053 --> 00:38:10,155
I think it was the trunk.
777
00:38:10,188 --> 00:38:13,492
It was a hatchback.
Thank you, Walter.
778
00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:16,294
Oh, I'm not Walter.
I'm Lenny.
779
00:38:16,328 --> 00:38:17,663
I bought Walter out.
780
00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:22,834
Oh, yeah.
He was kind of Hobbit-sized.
781
00:38:22,868 --> 00:38:24,870
Hey, did you have
another garage before that?
782
00:38:24,903 --> 00:38:26,104
Yeah, that you sold to...
783
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,273
Daryl! Yeah!
784
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,941
You ever thought of
keeping the jumpsuits,
785
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:31,677
just switching the name patches?
786
00:38:33,545 --> 00:38:36,382
Never mind. Do you know
how we can get to, um,
787
00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:39,351
anywhere from here?
788
00:38:39,385 --> 00:38:41,653
Oh. Gee, I don't know.
789
00:38:41,687 --> 00:38:43,555
Hitchhike, I guess.
790
00:38:43,589 --> 00:38:44,923
Good luck!
791
00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:48,226
We are not hitchhiking!
792
00:38:52,564 --> 00:38:54,800
Well, Charlie, here we are,
793
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,735
a typical Christmas Eve Day.
794
00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:59,304
Somewhere in the desert.
I think it's Utah.
795
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:00,506
Who cares?
796
00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:02,007
Oh! And here's Mom.
797
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,242
She's doing
a great job not crying
798
00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:06,144
over what a terrible
Christmas we're having.
799
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:07,479
(CRYING)
800
00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:10,582
And she's off.
801
00:39:10,616 --> 00:39:13,385
Gosh, at this rate, we'll
make Las Vegas by lunchtime.
802
00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:15,654
Oh, golly, I'd sure like that!
803
00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:18,256
Mom, Mom. Did you hear that?
They're going to Las Vegas!
804
00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:20,426
If we can get a ride with them,
we can rent a car there!
805
00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:23,094
Teddy, read my lips.
We're not hitchhiking.
806
00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:24,763
Mom, it's only hitchhiking
if they're strangers.
807
00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:26,197
They are strangers.
808
00:39:26,231 --> 00:39:27,633
They won't be as soon as
we buy them breakfast!
809
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:33,572
Hello. Hi!
810
00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:36,207
Hi, I'm Teddy Duncan,
and this is my mom...
811
00:39:39,110 --> 00:39:41,046
This is my mom, Amy.
812
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:43,449
Howdy.
Sue and Stan McKinney.
813
00:39:43,482 --> 00:39:44,716
Nice to meet you.
814
00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,518
Would you mind if we
share the booth with you?
815
00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:48,253
We don't want to be
taking up too much space
816
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:49,588
once this place gets crowded.
817
00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:51,322
They get a big breakfast rush.
818
00:39:56,428 --> 00:39:57,796
We could just squeeze in here.
Yeah.
819
00:39:57,829 --> 00:39:59,130
That'll probably be good.
820
00:39:59,164 --> 00:40:00,799
Yeah.
Squeezey.
821
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,436
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
822
00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:07,539
So, couldn't help overhearing,
you guys are headed to Vegas.
823
00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:09,340
What a coincidence!
We're going to Palm Springs!
824
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,443
How's that a coincidence?
825
00:40:12,277 --> 00:40:14,279
Excellent question, Stan.
826
00:40:14,312 --> 00:40:17,115
Um, see, we were heading to Vegas
because we need to rent a car.
827
00:40:17,148 --> 00:40:18,550
Because ours broke,
828
00:40:18,584 --> 00:40:21,252
literally, into
thousands of pieces.
829
00:40:21,286 --> 00:40:25,457
Which Lenny, uh... You'd think he was
Walter, but he's actually Lenny...
830
00:40:25,491 --> 00:40:27,125
And he's not Daryl, either.
831
00:40:27,158 --> 00:40:29,127
You might think that Daryl was Lenny,
but really Daryl's just the new Lenny,
832
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,430
and Lenny's Walter. But really
he's just... He's Lenny.
833
00:40:32,464 --> 00:40:35,433
And so anyway, Lenny had to shovel
our car out of the parking lot.
834
00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:36,868
(LAUGHS)
835
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:41,507
Why don't we order?
It's a great idea.
836
00:40:41,540 --> 00:40:45,276
Okay, uh, I'm gonna have six eggs,
scrambled, side of bacon, side of sausage.
837
00:40:45,310 --> 00:40:46,978
Links or patties?
Both.
838
00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,147
Uh, with pancakes.
839
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:50,916
Regular or silver dollar?
840
00:40:50,949 --> 00:40:55,654
Um, both, uh, with waffles, uh, plus
French toast, and regular toast.
841
00:40:55,687 --> 00:40:58,590
Oh, white, whole wheat, or...
I want all the toast.
842
00:40:58,624 --> 00:41:02,360
Uh, then I'll have some ham, Canadian
bacon, a bear claw, couple of donuts.
843
00:41:02,393 --> 00:41:05,664
Ooh, coffee cake
and, uh, a fruit cup.
844
00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:07,666
And, um, cottage cheese.
845
00:41:07,699 --> 00:41:11,469
Low fat, watching my figure.
(CHUCKLES)
846
00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:21,146
TEDDY: So, what brings
you two to Vegas?
847
00:41:21,179 --> 00:41:23,782
We're headed to a convention, the A.
A. S. N.
848
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,383
Oh, great, great, super, yeah.
849
00:41:25,416 --> 00:41:28,386
We're just hoping to get back to our
loved ones in time for Christmas.
850
00:41:28,419 --> 00:41:30,689
Are you going to eat that?
851
00:41:30,722 --> 00:41:32,924
That's my napkin.
Yeah, but there's jelly on it.
852
00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:39,565
As we were saying, uh, we're afraid that
if we don't make it to Vegas today,
853
00:41:39,598 --> 00:41:42,333
we'll be stranded,
alone in the desert,
854
00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:44,870
on this most precious
of holidays.
855
00:41:44,903 --> 00:41:46,204
Gee willikers!
You're in a pickle!
856
00:41:46,237 --> 00:41:47,505
Yeah, yeah, we sure are.
857
00:41:47,539 --> 00:41:49,074
We're just hoping for
a Christmas miracle
858
00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:51,710
from some kind soul,
who could give us a ride.
859
00:41:51,743 --> 00:41:54,079
Yeah, that's what you
need, all right.
860
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:55,246
Oh, yeah.
861
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,583
We'd be incredibly grateful...
STAN: I'll bet!
862
00:41:57,616 --> 00:42:00,351
To anyone and possibly even
somebody we just met,
863
00:42:00,385 --> 00:42:03,521
who's heading to
Vegas, has a car...
864
00:42:03,555 --> 00:42:05,490
(EXCLAIMS)
Especially a four-door...
865
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,225
Oh, yeah, that'd
do it, all right.
866
00:42:07,258 --> 00:42:09,127
Oh, for cryin' out loud,
can you give us a ride?
867
00:42:11,129 --> 00:42:12,698
(LAUGHS)
868
00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:22,874
Well, sure!
Why didn't you just ask?
869
00:42:22,908 --> 00:42:24,576
(LAUGHS)
870
00:42:24,610 --> 00:42:25,911
No eatin' in the car, though.
871
00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:28,046
Mmm, wouldn't think of it.
872
00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:31,549
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪
873
00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:35,220
Whoa! This sunburn ointment
really does the trick.
874
00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,255
I feel so much better.
875
00:42:37,288 --> 00:42:41,026
Oh, pumpkin, I think you put
a little bit too much on.
876
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,928
Here, let me dab some of that off.
Okay.
877
00:42:42,961 --> 00:42:45,864
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh, pepper-pot, I'm so sorry!
878
00:42:45,897 --> 00:42:47,599
It's okay.
Let me just sit down.
879
00:42:47,633 --> 00:42:51,469
The thing is, pudding pop, I can't let
you near the furniture like that.
880
00:42:52,303 --> 00:42:54,305
Well, where can I sit?
881
00:42:55,506 --> 00:42:57,743
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh!
882
00:42:57,776 --> 00:42:59,244
What are you guys doing in here?
883
00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:01,046
(SIGHS)
884
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:03,081
Did... Did Grandma freak out and
send you guys in here, too?
885
00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:05,784
A long time ago, join the club.
886
00:43:05,817 --> 00:43:07,252
(SCOFFS) Not me.
887
00:43:07,285 --> 00:43:09,821
I'm hiding from Grandpa.
I want my mommy!
888
00:43:10,622 --> 00:43:12,523
Yeah, me too.
889
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,961
(EXCLAIMS)
890
00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:19,631
I'm good.
891
00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:23,669
SUE AND STAN:
♪ We
892
00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:27,438
♪ We love the desert
893
00:43:27,472 --> 00:43:29,440
♪ The sagebrush and the sand
894
00:43:29,474 --> 00:43:33,511
♪ We love the desert
895
00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,513
♪ Now come and hold my hand
896
00:43:35,546 --> 00:43:36,982
(LAUGHS)
897
00:43:39,517 --> 00:43:41,319
Oh, Stan, we're
in a high-gamma zone.
898
00:43:41,352 --> 00:43:43,388
Oh, oh, roger that!
Yeah!
899
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:48,326
Um, just out of curiosity,
what's with the hats?
900
00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:51,029
Well, you can never
be too careful. No.
901
00:43:51,062 --> 00:43:53,031
Do they seem
a little weird to you?
902
00:43:53,064 --> 00:43:55,834
Yeah, almost as weird as you
eating a napkin for dessert.
903
00:43:55,867 --> 00:43:57,135
(SIGHS) Don't.
904
00:43:58,236 --> 00:43:59,304
You okay?
905
00:43:59,337 --> 00:44:00,538
Not really.
906
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:05,310
I need a bag.
Mom, not again!
907
00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:07,112
Are you ladies okay back there?
908
00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:11,049
Uh, yeah! Hey, why don't you
tell me about your convention!
909
00:44:11,082 --> 00:44:14,820
Oh, well, we go every year.
It's a real humdinger!
910
00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:16,387
Oh, I bet!
911
00:44:16,421 --> 00:44:18,456
SUE: You know, it's just
so nice to be among folks
912
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,391
who've had the same
experience you had.
913
00:44:20,425 --> 00:44:22,293
I can imagine!
914
00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,830
SUE: Because, you know, if it hasn't
happened to you, you just don't get it.
915
00:44:24,863 --> 00:44:26,497
No! Totally! It's...
Give it to me.
916
00:44:26,531 --> 00:44:28,066
What is it again?
917
00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:29,334
SUE: Alien abduction.
918
00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:34,172
Mmm?
919
00:44:36,674 --> 00:44:38,977
I'm sorry, did you just say...
920
00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:40,979
BOTH: Alien abduction!
921
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,081
That's what A. A. S. N. is.
922
00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:45,416
The Alien Abduction
Survivor's Network.
923
00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:49,354
So, which one of you...
Oh, we both were.
924
00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:52,090
That's where we met first.
925
00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:55,326
Yeah!
Aboard the spaceship.
926
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,561
'Course, we didn't
know it at the time.
927
00:44:56,594 --> 00:44:59,097
Oh, no, no!
Not until years later,
928
00:44:59,130 --> 00:45:02,300
after hypnosis recovered
our repressed memories.
929
00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:05,670
Oh, gosh!
930
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,538
(EXHALING DEEPLY)
931
00:45:07,572 --> 00:45:09,741
Sweetheart, are you okay?
932
00:45:09,775 --> 00:45:13,411
I'm just a little nauseous.
933
00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:18,750
You know, that's the single most
common side-effect of an abduction.
934
00:45:18,784 --> 00:45:21,519
And that increase
in appetite you're having?
935
00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:24,289
Now, that's the second
most common side-effect.
936
00:45:24,322 --> 00:45:27,392
Oh, believe me, I've been
this way for a while.
937
00:45:27,425 --> 00:45:31,930
I mean, I think I would remember
if aliens had abducted me.
938
00:45:31,963 --> 00:45:36,267
Oh, no, sweetheart, that's how it works!
You never remember.
939
00:45:36,301 --> 00:45:37,602
Not at first.
940
00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:41,206
Have you experienced
an episode of lost time?
941
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,575
Uh, you mean, besides the eighteen
years since my kids were born?
942
00:45:44,609 --> 00:45:47,145
Oh, trust me, she wasn't
abducted by aliens.
943
00:45:47,178 --> 00:45:48,579
We were together all last
night in the mountains.
944
00:45:48,613 --> 00:45:51,582
(GASPS) That's where
they get you!
945
00:45:51,616 --> 00:45:54,085
Oh, I wonder
if you've been tagged.
946
00:45:55,453 --> 00:45:56,922
Why don't we probe
them and find out?
947
00:45:56,955 --> 00:45:59,090
No, no, no, don't probe them.
No, no! No probe.
948
00:45:59,124 --> 00:46:03,628
Okay, we'll use the drill.
That'll leave a scar.
949
00:46:03,661 --> 00:46:06,664
BOTH: No, no, no,
no, no, no!
950
00:46:06,697 --> 00:46:08,299
That is not necessary, okay.
951
00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:12,103
I promise you, we have not
been abducted by aliens.
952
00:46:12,137 --> 00:46:15,640
That big appetite,
on top of the nausea,
953
00:46:15,673 --> 00:46:20,311
now, you have either been abducted
by aliens or you're pregnant!
954
00:46:24,349 --> 00:46:25,817
Surprise!
955
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:32,623
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)
956
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:55,546
STAN: Got everything here.
957
00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:58,183
Well, good luck,
Merry Christmas.
958
00:46:58,216 --> 00:47:01,452
Oh, Merry Christmas, Stan.
Bye.
959
00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:03,788
Are you sure you're not
carrying an alien baby?
960
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:08,059
Ah, yeah, I'm pretty sure my
obstetrician would've caught that.
961
00:47:08,093 --> 00:47:10,896
Well, if you change your
mind, we're in the book!
962
00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:13,899
Bye, honey!
BOTH: Bye.
963
00:47:13,932 --> 00:47:17,235
Under "O," for
"Out of your mind."
964
00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:18,636
BOTH: Bye!
965
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,738
Okay, honey, will
you watch our stuff?
966
00:47:20,771 --> 00:47:22,207
I have to go to the bathroom.
967
00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:24,575
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Can we
talk about you being pregnant?
968
00:47:24,609 --> 00:47:25,877
And not telling me?
969
00:47:25,911 --> 00:47:28,579
Teddy, honey,
I wanted to, but...
970
00:47:28,613 --> 00:47:29,981
You know,
your father and I decided
971
00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:32,483
to tell the whole family
at once on Christmas Day.
972
00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:35,086
Excuse me, can you spare
some change for food?
973
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:36,521
Oh, yeah.
974
00:47:37,889 --> 00:47:39,257
Here.
Thank you.
975
00:47:41,292 --> 00:47:42,527
How could this happen?
976
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,694
I think you know
how this happened.
977
00:47:43,728 --> 00:47:44,762
I mean, you saw
the film in health class.
978
00:47:44,795 --> 00:47:46,031
I signed the permission slip.
979
00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,433
But five kids, really?
980
00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:50,868
Look, we will discuss
this after I pee.
981
00:47:50,902 --> 00:47:53,704
It was a really long car ride.
You just watch our luggage.
982
00:47:56,041 --> 00:47:57,275
Where is our luggage?
983
00:47:58,409 --> 00:47:59,577
Oh, no!
984
00:48:00,278 --> 00:48:01,279
(EXCLAIMS)
985
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:03,614
(ALL TALKING)
986
00:48:05,951 --> 00:48:07,919
Hi, there!
987
00:48:07,953 --> 00:48:12,590
So, uh, underneath all this medicated ointment,
there's actually a very sensitive guy.
988
00:48:12,623 --> 00:48:14,625
May I offer you ladies
a banana chip?
989
00:48:18,763 --> 00:48:21,099
Wow, it's hard to believe
that didn't work.
990
00:48:25,270 --> 00:48:26,471
(LAUGHS)
991
00:48:27,505 --> 00:48:29,140
(LAUGHS)
992
00:48:29,174 --> 00:48:31,309
Isn't this great, finally
something she can't break.
993
00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:34,245
(AIR WHISTLING)
994
00:48:35,780 --> 00:48:37,482
(MOBILE RINGING)
995
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:43,788
Hey, honey, you almost here?
996
00:48:45,023 --> 00:48:46,958
You what?
997
00:48:46,992 --> 00:48:48,559
No, no, no, no, no!
You know what?
998
00:48:48,593 --> 00:48:51,096
You stay there,
I'm gonna come get you.
999
00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:53,264
I don't know.
1000
00:48:53,298 --> 00:48:55,400
We'll leave as soon as I can convince
your father to lend me the car.
1001
00:48:55,433 --> 00:48:57,102
So, I'll see you when I see you.
1002
00:48:57,135 --> 00:48:58,936
Okay, love you too.
1003
00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:00,605
What's up?
1004
00:49:00,638 --> 00:49:02,773
(SIGHS) I gotta go pick up
your mom and Teddy.
1005
00:49:02,807 --> 00:49:04,742
You guys need to stay here
with Grandma and Grandpa.
1006
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,144
BOTH: No, no, no!
1007
00:49:06,177 --> 00:49:07,445
Take us with you.
Don't leave us here.
1008
00:49:07,478 --> 00:49:09,114
BOTH: Please, please,
please! Please!
1009
00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:13,784
(DOOR OPENING)
1010
00:49:13,818 --> 00:49:15,620
All right!
1011
00:49:15,653 --> 00:49:18,990
Oh, good! You're just in time
to have more Christmas cookies!
1012
00:49:19,024 --> 00:49:22,027
Except you. You're
still being punished.
1013
00:49:22,060 --> 00:49:24,829
Petunia, Amy and Teddy
are stranded in Vegas!
1014
00:49:24,862 --> 00:49:26,697
Oh, the poor things!
Are they okay?
1015
00:49:26,731 --> 00:49:29,867
Oh, they're fine. I just... I need to
borrow your car, so I can go get them.
1016
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:32,270
Hank, there's an emergency.
1017
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:35,640
You have to drive into Las
Vegas and pick up the girls!
1018
00:49:35,673 --> 00:49:37,442
HANK: Wait till
I finish this level!
1019
00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:40,045
I can see the Stone of Mitrios!
1020
00:49:40,078 --> 00:49:42,447
He's not coming out
of there any time soon.
1021
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,016
All right, guys, got get a
change of clothes, we're going.
1022
00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:47,885
You're leaving me here
alone on Christmas Eve?
1023
00:49:47,918 --> 00:49:49,354
(SIGHS) Well...
1024
00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:52,023
Not entirely.
1025
00:49:52,057 --> 00:49:54,725
Look, I haven't got time to
make that car seat work,
1026
00:49:54,759 --> 00:49:56,261
could you watch her
while I'm gone?
1027
00:49:56,861 --> 00:49:58,296
Of course I can.
1028
00:49:58,329 --> 00:50:00,165
I always knew this
day would come.
1029
00:50:03,234 --> 00:50:05,570
Okay.
1030
00:50:05,603 --> 00:50:08,973
Hey, sweetie, we're going
to be back soon, okay?
1031
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,641
I promise, all of us.
1032
00:50:10,675 --> 00:50:11,676
Mama.
1033
00:50:13,711 --> 00:50:15,746
Please make sure she has
a nice Christmas Eve.
1034
00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:17,415
Of course, I will.
1035
00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,417
We'll have a fabulous time...
Bye, Daddy.
1036
00:50:20,285 --> 00:50:21,286
Bye-bye, sweetie.
1037
00:50:26,957 --> 00:50:29,860
Oh, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, wait!
1038
00:50:29,894 --> 00:50:31,862
Wait, how do I keep her
from breaking things?
1039
00:50:33,398 --> 00:50:36,134
It's easy. Just tell
her not to touch them.
1040
00:50:40,571 --> 00:50:42,573
AMY: I told you
to watch our bags!
1041
00:50:42,607 --> 00:50:44,008
I'm not the one
who wandered off!
1042
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,743
Well, I had to pee!
1043
00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:48,513
Well, I still have to pee!
1044
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:53,418
This is great, yep, no luggage, no
purse, no money and I'm starving!
1045
00:50:53,451 --> 00:50:55,753
It could be worse.
That's hard to see how!
1046
00:50:55,786 --> 00:50:57,588
I hope that plane
ticket was worth it, Teddy.
1047
00:50:57,622 --> 00:51:00,225
Okay, you know, I did my
best to get us out of this.
1048
00:51:00,258 --> 00:51:02,093
And you haven't
exactly been helpful!
1049
00:51:02,127 --> 00:51:05,363
Well, that's because you wanted to
prove how responsible you were!
1050
00:51:05,396 --> 00:51:07,098
Mom, I'm not the parent!
1051
00:51:07,132 --> 00:51:09,100
I'm not the one who's actually
supposed to be responsible!
1052
00:51:09,134 --> 00:51:11,469
And I'm not the one
who ruined Christmas!
1053
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:19,577
Oh, Teddy... That's the meanest
thing you've ever said to me!
1054
00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,746
What? Do you think
I wanted to ruin Christmas?
1055
00:51:21,779 --> 00:51:24,715
I already feel awful! And you
just want me to feel worse!
1056
00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:26,717
No, no, no!
Teddy, come back!
1057
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:27,952
Leave me alone!
1058
00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:29,687
Teddy!
1059
00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:36,161
Oh!
1060
00:51:36,194 --> 00:51:38,062
♪ Turned down that street and
the memories come flooding in
1061
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:39,897
♪ The porch light is smiling
1062
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:44,169
♪ Like it's asking me,
"Where you been?"
1063
00:51:44,202 --> 00:51:48,339
♪ I need this more than ever
1064
00:51:48,373 --> 00:51:52,009
♪ And then I open the door
1065
00:51:52,042 --> 00:51:57,848
♪ It's like everything that's
on my mind just disappears
1066
00:51:57,882 --> 00:51:59,184
No.
1067
00:52:02,887 --> 00:52:04,355
No, no, sorry.
1068
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:11,429
(GRUNTS)
1069
00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:12,830
(JINGLING)
1070
00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:16,634
♪ The only thing that matters
1071
00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:21,339
♪ All that really matters
1072
00:52:21,372 --> 00:52:25,576
♪ Is Christmas with you
1073
00:52:26,411 --> 00:52:31,716
♪ Christmas with you
1074
00:52:33,418 --> 00:52:37,121
Well, it's Christmas Eve
in Las Vegas, Charlie.
1075
00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:40,358
All I want for Christmas
is a sandwich.
1076
00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,228
I wish I was a mime.
1077
00:52:43,261 --> 00:52:46,063
Look at that guy,
he's doing pretty well.
1078
00:52:48,866 --> 00:52:50,768
You thinking what I'm thinking?
1079
00:52:55,706 --> 00:52:56,741
(CLEARS THROAT)
1080
00:52:59,076 --> 00:53:01,646
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly
1081
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,215
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
la-la la-la
1082
00:53:04,249 --> 00:53:06,851
♪ 'Tis the season
to be jolly
1083
00:53:06,884 --> 00:53:09,320
♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
1084
00:53:09,354 --> 00:53:11,756
♪ Don we now
our gay apparel
1085
00:53:11,789 --> 00:53:14,325
♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la
1086
00:53:14,359 --> 00:53:16,827
♪ Troll the ancient
Yule tide carol
1087
00:53:16,861 --> 00:53:18,429
♪ Fa la la la la,
la, la... ♪
1088
00:53:18,463 --> 00:53:20,398
No, no, no, no!
Sorry...
1089
00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:21,966
Excuse me, sir.
1090
00:53:29,307 --> 00:53:34,412
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
1091
00:53:34,445 --> 00:53:36,146
(ALL TALKING)
1092
00:53:37,582 --> 00:53:40,518
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride
1093
00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:44,955
♪ In a one-horse open
1094
00:53:44,989 --> 00:53:47,725
♪ Sleigh, hey
1095
00:53:47,758 --> 00:53:49,760
What are you doing?
Hey! I'm helping you.
1096
00:53:49,794 --> 00:53:51,696
No, I don't need help.
I can do this on my own.
1097
00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:53,764
No you can't, Teddy! You're
not even in the right key.
1098
00:53:53,798 --> 00:53:56,434
♪ Dashing through the snow
1099
00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:59,770
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh
1100
00:53:59,804 --> 00:54:01,772
♪ O'er the fields we go
1101
00:54:01,806 --> 00:54:03,441
♪ Laughing all the way
1102
00:54:03,474 --> 00:54:05,109
(LAUGHS)
1103
00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:11,549
♪ Bells on bob-tails ring
Making spirits bright
1104
00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:12,717
Mom!
Shh!
1105
00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,051
(LAUGHING)
1106
00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:16,821
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing
1107
00:54:16,854 --> 00:54:18,889
♪ A sleighing song tonight
1108
00:54:18,923 --> 00:54:22,159
♪ Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells
1109
00:54:22,192 --> 00:54:24,495
♪ Jingle all the way
1110
00:54:24,529 --> 00:54:26,764
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride
1111
00:54:26,797 --> 00:54:29,634
♪ In a one-horse open
sleigh, hey ♪
1112
00:54:30,468 --> 00:54:31,936
(CHEERING)
1113
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:38,843
That is exactly what the
holidays are like at my house.
1114
00:54:38,876 --> 00:54:40,010
(LAUGHING)
1115
00:54:40,044 --> 00:54:41,045
(WHISTLING)
1116
00:54:48,052 --> 00:54:50,921
This is really good.
Really good.
1117
00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:51,956
(EXCLAIMS)
1118
00:54:56,894 --> 00:54:58,262
Take a right up there.
1119
00:54:58,295 --> 00:54:59,764
Up where?
1120
00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,599
There's a little unmarked
road about 100 yards ahead.
1121
00:55:01,632 --> 00:55:03,968
Trust me!
I mapped it out!
1122
00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:07,772
Oh, if we took that road, it would've
shaved 30 minutes off our trip.
1123
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:10,107
Are you sure? Trust me, go
back and make the turn.
1124
00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:11,509
Don't trust him.
1125
00:55:11,542 --> 00:55:13,310
I saw a movie that
started like this.
1126
00:55:13,344 --> 00:55:14,612
How did it turn out?
1127
00:55:14,645 --> 00:55:17,214
I don't know. I got too
scared and left the theater.
1128
00:55:17,247 --> 00:55:19,049
Oh, I stayed. The guy
driving the car lived.
1129
00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:20,385
Good enough for me.
1130
00:55:20,418 --> 00:55:22,887
But only for a minute,
then he got eaten by zombies.
1131
00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:26,357
Sorry.
1132
00:55:26,391 --> 00:55:30,895
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas, hey
1133
00:55:30,928 --> 00:55:33,831
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas, hey
1134
00:55:33,864 --> 00:55:35,566
(LAUGHING)
1135
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:39,537
♪ We wish you a Merry
Christmas, and a Happy New Year
1136
00:55:39,570 --> 00:55:43,741
♪ Glad tidings we bring
to you and your kin
1137
00:55:43,774 --> 00:55:48,513
♪ Glad tidings for Christmas
and a Happy New Year
1138
00:55:48,546 --> 00:55:51,816
♪ Oh, bring us
a figgy pudding
1139
00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:53,918
♪ Oh, bring us
a figgy pudding
1140
00:55:53,951 --> 00:55:56,387
♪ Oh, bring us
a figgy pudding
1141
00:55:56,421 --> 00:55:58,556
♪ And bring it right here
1142
00:55:58,589 --> 00:55:59,590
(CHEERING)
1143
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:03,761
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas
1144
00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:06,163
♪ We wish you a Merry
Christmas Thank you.
1145
00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,433
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas
1146
00:56:10,267 --> 00:56:16,273
♪ And a Happy New Year
1147
00:56:17,608 --> 00:56:19,410
(ALL CHEERING)
1148
00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:28,919
How'd we do? Good enough
for an $8.99 buffet!
1149
00:56:28,953 --> 00:56:30,387
(EXCLAIMS)
1150
00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:39,430
Yeah, yeah, this is
definitely the right move.
1151
00:56:39,464 --> 00:56:40,598
MAN: Stop!
1152
00:56:40,631 --> 00:56:42,099
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1153
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,968
Except for the guys with guns!
1154
00:56:44,001 --> 00:56:45,470
Those guys were not on the map.
1155
00:56:48,005 --> 00:56:50,941
Who are you guys?
Are you policemen?
1156
00:56:50,975 --> 00:56:53,043
I'm going to need
to see some badges.
1157
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:56,714
Badges? We don't need
no stinking badges.
1158
00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:57,748
(LAUGHING)
1159
00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:07,625
I mean, we could really
be onto something here.
1160
00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:09,594
We could be the
next Jersey Boys.
1161
00:57:09,627 --> 00:57:11,428
I don't think... I mean, not that we
should take it straight to Broadway.
1162
00:57:11,462 --> 00:57:13,230
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Exactly.
1163
00:57:13,263 --> 00:57:15,065
I mean, we should open
in Chicago or Los Angeles.
1164
00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:17,602
You know, just a couple of
months, work out the bugs.
1165
00:57:17,635 --> 00:57:18,769
Who should we get
to do the music?
1166
00:57:18,803 --> 00:57:20,605
Stephen Sondheim
or Andrew Lloyd Webber?
1167
00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:22,640
Ooh, Elton John.
1168
00:57:22,673 --> 00:57:24,174
Whatever, Mom.
1169
00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:25,676
Oh, cheer up, kiddo!
1170
00:57:26,811 --> 00:57:28,479
(SIGHS)
1171
00:57:28,513 --> 00:57:30,581
Look, if this is... If this
is about Spring Break then...
1172
00:57:30,615 --> 00:57:32,116
Yeah?
1173
00:57:32,149 --> 00:57:33,350
(SIGHS)
1174
00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:36,153
It's hard.
1175
00:57:37,187 --> 00:57:39,557
What, Mom?
What is hard?
1176
00:57:40,390 --> 00:57:41,391
Letting go.
1177
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:47,532
You take a trip like that by yourself
and you really are a grown up.
1178
00:57:47,565 --> 00:57:49,867
And, well, I just want
you to be my baby.
1179
00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:54,672
Mom, I'll always be your baby.
1180
00:57:54,705 --> 00:57:58,308
And you keep making more babies, so
it's not like you're going to run out.
1181
00:58:00,144 --> 00:58:02,246
I wish the rest
of them were here.
1182
00:58:04,348 --> 00:58:05,816
(EXCLAIMS)
1183
00:58:08,152 --> 00:58:09,654
I'm sorry I ruined Christmas.
1184
00:58:09,687 --> 00:58:13,057
Hey, you did not ruin Christmas.
1185
00:58:14,024 --> 00:58:15,993
At least we're together.
1186
00:58:16,026 --> 00:58:18,128
We can still have pancakes
on Christmas morning,
1187
00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:21,331
even if they're six hours
old under a heat lamp.
1188
00:58:21,365 --> 00:58:23,968
And they're not shaped
like Christmas trees.
1189
00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:28,005
Teddy, you gave me
the best present ever!
1190
00:58:29,874 --> 00:58:31,441
My own Broadway musical!
1191
00:58:34,078 --> 00:58:35,445
Yeah.
1192
00:58:38,115 --> 00:58:40,117
Mom, that girl.
1193
00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:43,153
She's got our luggage!
1194
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:45,189
TEDDY: She's wearing
my purple top!
1195
00:58:45,222 --> 00:58:46,857
She looks better
in it than I do!
1196
00:58:46,891 --> 00:58:48,693
Hey, wait.
We need a plan.
1197
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:50,861
No, we don't, jump her!
1198
00:58:55,633 --> 00:58:56,767
All right, the jig is up.
1199
00:58:56,801 --> 00:58:58,435
And you look awful in that top.
1200
00:59:00,270 --> 00:59:02,873
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
1201
00:59:02,907 --> 00:59:04,241
Oh, yeah, well,
cry all you want,
1202
00:59:04,274 --> 00:59:05,876
'cause we're calling the cops.
1203
00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:09,213
No, I swear, I've never done
anything like this before, ever!
1204
00:59:09,246 --> 00:59:12,583
I just didn't know what else
to do because I was so hungry.
1205
00:59:12,617 --> 00:59:17,087
And I just saw your luggage sitting
there, and I haven't eaten in so long.
1206
00:59:17,121 --> 00:59:19,356
Could you please stop crying
so I can call the cops?
1207
00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:21,025
I'm sorry!
1208
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:23,427
I'm just so tired and I'm lost
1209
00:59:23,460 --> 00:59:25,863
and all I want to do
is just go home
1210
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:29,299
but I can't because it's
like a thousand miles away.
1211
00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:31,068
And I don't have any money.
1212
00:59:31,101 --> 00:59:32,302
How did that happen?
1213
00:59:34,171 --> 00:59:35,740
It's a really long story.
1214
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:38,442
We've got time.
1215
00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:44,749
MAN: Hold still!
It won't help to struggle.
1216
00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:48,719
All right, take
the blindfolds off.
1217
00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:50,921
Okay. (SIGHS)
1218
00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:54,091
Whatever it is you guys want...
You know what we want!
1219
00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:55,425
To keep the Stone of Mitrios
1220
00:59:55,459 --> 00:59:57,261
out of your dirty yellow hands!
1221
00:59:57,294 --> 00:59:59,930
I have no idea what you're
talking about. I do!
1222
00:59:59,964 --> 01:00:01,265
Gabe, please!
1223
01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:03,267
Look, we're innocent.
1224
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:05,569
We were just on our way to pick
up my wife and my daughter...
1225
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:09,273
Down an unmarked desert road,
after dark, on Christmas Eve?
1226
01:00:09,306 --> 01:00:10,975
Do you think I'm stupid?
1227
01:00:11,008 --> 01:00:13,343
I have a PhD from Caltech!
1228
01:00:13,377 --> 01:00:17,114
Really? Oh, then you're smart enough
to know that kidnapping is a felony.
1229
01:00:17,147 --> 01:00:18,348
(LAUGHS)
1230
01:00:19,684 --> 01:00:22,853
Good one.
You're very convincing.
1231
01:00:22,887 --> 01:00:25,622
Look, you tell Jablowsky,
whatever trick he was trying
1232
01:00:25,656 --> 01:00:27,591
to pull with you,
it didn't work.
1233
01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:30,627
We are going to grind
you under our boots.
1234
01:00:30,661 --> 01:00:33,864
And there's no way
you're getting the Stone.
1235
01:00:33,898 --> 01:00:35,632
We don't even know what that is!
1236
01:00:35,666 --> 01:00:37,501
I do!
1237
01:00:37,534 --> 01:00:39,269
And we're going to miss Christmas!
What did you say?
1238
01:00:39,303 --> 01:00:41,271
I know exactly what's happening!
1239
01:00:41,305 --> 01:00:43,273
We're in the middle
of Live Death!
1240
01:00:43,307 --> 01:00:45,009
Which is?
1241
01:00:45,042 --> 01:00:46,610
Okay, so every Christmas
Eve, Chuck Jablowsky,
1242
01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:49,780
the multi-gazillionaire
who invented Galaxy of Death,
1243
01:00:49,814 --> 01:00:52,783
he hosts this legendary paintball
tournament based on the game.
1244
01:00:52,817 --> 01:00:54,819
It's like a giant video
game come to life!
1245
01:00:54,852 --> 01:00:56,787
Why does he do
it on Christmas Eve?
1246
01:00:56,821 --> 01:00:59,123
Because half the programmers
who work for him are Hindu.
1247
01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:01,959
And the other half are antisocial
nerds who have no life.
1248
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:04,795
I'm starting to realize why there
weren't any hot girls in that crowd.
1249
01:01:04,829 --> 01:01:07,164
Yeah, it's a shame.
1250
01:01:07,197 --> 01:01:08,733
How long does the game last?
1251
01:01:08,766 --> 01:01:11,401
Until either the Yellow team
captures the Stone of Mitrios,
1252
01:01:11,435 --> 01:01:13,070
or the Red team
wipes them all out.
1253
01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:14,905
(SIGHS) Usually takes
a couple of days.
1254
01:01:14,939 --> 01:01:16,907
So we're stuck here
till after Christmas?
1255
01:01:16,941 --> 01:01:18,709
Well, not if we escape!
1256
01:01:18,743 --> 01:01:20,644
All right, you know what, let's
scoot our chairs back to back
1257
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:23,380
and then, maybe we could
untie the ropes, all right.
1258
01:01:23,413 --> 01:01:24,514
Here we go.
1259
01:01:24,548 --> 01:01:26,050
All right, working already, huh?
1260
01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:27,752
Wait, no, Dad.
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad...
1261
01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:29,253
No, no, no, no! Ow.
Ow!
1262
01:01:29,286 --> 01:01:30,420
Gabe, you bumped
me out of position!
1263
01:01:30,454 --> 01:01:32,656
You bumped me!
Sit still!
1264
01:01:32,689 --> 01:01:34,925
This was my idea! Let
me do what I got to do!
1265
01:01:34,959 --> 01:01:37,862
Yes, but I'm smaller
and more agile!
1266
01:01:37,895 --> 01:01:39,663
Well, I'm bigger and you
need to listen to me!
1267
01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:40,798
Dad's right.
1268
01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:43,734
How did you get free?
1269
01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,503
My arms are all lubed up
with sunburn ointment.
1270
01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:47,905
Slipped them right out.
1271
01:01:48,939 --> 01:01:50,574
Untie us!
1272
01:01:50,607 --> 01:01:52,076
Oh, yeah, yeah!
1273
01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:55,612
Wow, that's really easy to undo.
1274
01:01:55,645 --> 01:01:58,448
I guess Caltech doesn't have
a knot tying requirement.
1275
01:01:59,416 --> 01:02:00,751
(GRUNTING)
1276
01:02:00,785 --> 01:02:03,220
All right, let's go.
1277
01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:08,392
Wait, wait, wait... We might
have to shoot our way out.
1278
01:02:08,425 --> 01:02:10,094
Good idea.
1279
01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:11,796
Here goes.
1280
01:02:11,829 --> 01:02:12,963
(LAUGHS)
1281
01:02:12,997 --> 01:02:14,698
Yes!
All right!
1282
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:16,233
Okay, boys, are we ready?
1283
01:02:16,266 --> 01:02:17,734
BOTH: Yeah!
All right!
1284
01:02:17,768 --> 01:02:21,972
On three.
One, two, three!
1285
01:02:23,007 --> 01:02:28,312
Wow. Okay, on three.
One, two, three!
1286
01:02:28,345 --> 01:02:31,248
One, two, three!
1287
01:02:31,281 --> 01:02:33,583
Come on!
Allow me.
1288
01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:39,990
Thank you.
1289
01:02:43,293 --> 01:02:44,494
Nobody in here.
1290
01:02:44,528 --> 01:02:45,830
(TOILET FLUSHING)
1291
01:02:54,939 --> 01:02:56,974
Hey, remember us?
1292
01:02:57,007 --> 01:02:58,108
Where's our car?
1293
01:02:58,142 --> 01:02:59,776
Can't talk, already dead!
1294
01:02:59,810 --> 01:03:01,345
Oh, come on!
1295
01:03:01,378 --> 01:03:04,248
Rules are rules for
a reason, okay, pal?
1296
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:06,951
Give us a break, man!
It's Christmas Eve!
1297
01:03:06,984 --> 01:03:08,318
We're not like you!
We have lives!
1298
01:03:08,352 --> 01:03:10,420
Hey, man, I chose to be here!
1299
01:03:10,454 --> 01:03:11,755
Yeah.
1300
01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:13,757
Guys, you gotta
check out this map!
1301
01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:16,260
Oh, does it prove I was
right about the shortcut?
1302
01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:18,963
Oh, other than the part
where we got kidnapped?
1303
01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:21,098
Can you find our
car on this thing?
1304
01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:23,467
I think it's over there,
past the Tower of Doom.
1305
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,836
But we're deep in
Red team territory.
1306
01:03:25,870 --> 01:03:28,405
If we run for it, we'll probably
just get kidnapped again.
1307
01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:32,209
On the other hand...
What?
1308
01:03:32,242 --> 01:03:34,811
Their whole strategy's
outlined in this plan.
1309
01:03:34,845 --> 01:03:36,780
And it's right out
of Galaxy of Death.
1310
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:38,815
I know exactly how
this is going to play out.
1311
01:03:40,384 --> 01:03:42,386
So can you get us to the car?
1312
01:03:42,419 --> 01:03:44,554
Dad, I can do better than that.
1313
01:03:45,923 --> 01:03:48,325
I think I can win this thing.
1314
01:03:50,895 --> 01:03:54,231
JORDAN: So, I really wanted
to go to this music festival.
1315
01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:56,867
But my mom said I was too
young and irresponsible
1316
01:03:56,901 --> 01:03:59,003
to go cross-country
without an adult.
1317
01:03:59,036 --> 01:04:00,304
Mmm, I've heard that before.
1318
01:04:00,337 --> 01:04:02,172
I've said that before.
1319
01:04:02,206 --> 01:04:05,509
So, we got in this huge fight, of course,
because we fight about everything.
1320
01:04:05,542 --> 01:04:10,014
My clothes, my grades, my nose piercing,
which actually she was right about,
1321
01:04:10,047 --> 01:04:12,382
because I still can't
smell on this side.
1322
01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,084
Lesson learned.
Mmm-hmm.
1323
01:04:14,118 --> 01:04:15,986
So, she said that if
I went to the festival,
1324
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:18,588
then I might as well not
even bother coming home.
1325
01:04:19,389 --> 01:04:21,926
And I went anyway.
1326
01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:26,163
And then my ride ditched me,
and I wound up stranded here.
1327
01:04:26,196 --> 01:04:28,198
Well, did you call your mom?
1328
01:04:28,232 --> 01:04:31,368
But she said she'd
never forgive me.
1329
01:04:31,401 --> 01:04:35,172
Well, you know, sometimes moms say
things they don't really mean.
1330
01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:37,074
Yeah, we do, all the time.
1331
01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:38,608
I once told Teddy if she
didn't clean her room,
1332
01:04:38,642 --> 01:04:40,410
she'd have to sleep
outside in the yard.
1333
01:04:40,444 --> 01:04:42,179
I did have to sleep outside in the yard.
It was summer.
1334
01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:44,748
Look, the point is,
it's Christmas Eve.
1335
01:04:45,615 --> 01:04:47,217
Call your mom.
1336
01:04:47,251 --> 01:04:50,220
I can't.
I'm too scared.
1337
01:04:51,588 --> 01:04:52,957
Do you want me to call her?
1338
01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:59,964
Hi, Brenda?
This is Amy Duncan.
1339
01:04:59,997 --> 01:05:02,232
This is going to take
a little bit of explaining.
1340
01:05:04,001 --> 01:05:05,936
It's going to be fine.
1341
01:05:05,970 --> 01:05:09,139
I don't know, my mom can
be pretty nuts sometimes.
1342
01:05:09,173 --> 01:05:11,108
Yeah, well, they all can.
1343
01:05:11,141 --> 01:05:14,244
I don't know, your mom
seems really chill.
1344
01:05:14,278 --> 01:05:17,114
My mom wants to turn our arguments
into a Broadway musical.
1345
01:05:19,316 --> 01:05:21,785
Wow, that is nuts.
Yep!
1346
01:05:21,818 --> 01:05:24,654
What a coincidence!
I have four kids, too!
1347
01:05:24,688 --> 01:05:28,625
Oh, my gosh! I'm pregnant, too, hah!
It's like we're twins!
1348
01:05:28,658 --> 01:05:29,926
Do you watch The Bachelor?
1349
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,062
(GASPS) I know,
isn't she heinous?
1350
01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:33,463
I can't believe he picked her.
1351
01:05:33,497 --> 01:05:34,965
You know what, though?
1352
01:05:34,999 --> 01:05:38,935
Underneath all that craziness
they really do love us.
1353
01:05:38,969 --> 01:05:41,671
And reality TV.
Yeah, that too.
1354
01:05:43,107 --> 01:05:45,242
Hang on.
1355
01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:48,945
(SIGHS) Jordan, here's someone
who wants to talk to you.
1356
01:05:57,154 --> 01:05:59,089
Hi, Mom.
How did it go?
1357
01:05:59,123 --> 01:06:01,525
Oh, we totally agreed about
the girl in The Bachelor.
1358
01:06:01,558 --> 01:06:04,261
Oh, no, I mean, do you think
they're going to make up?
1359
01:06:04,294 --> 01:06:06,163
(CRYING)
I miss you, too.
1360
01:06:08,398 --> 01:06:09,866
I think they just did.
1361
01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:13,070
(CRYING) Okay.
1362
01:06:15,072 --> 01:06:16,706
I love you too, Mom!
1363
01:06:17,841 --> 01:06:19,176
I'll see you soon.
1364
01:06:25,915 --> 01:06:27,184
Everything okay?
1365
01:06:28,552 --> 01:06:29,953
Thank you so much!
1366
01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:31,888
Oh, you're so welcome.
1367
01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:34,724
So, you headed to the airport?
1368
01:06:35,925 --> 01:06:38,295
You are going home, right?
1369
01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:40,030
Yeah, yeah, it's just...
1370
01:06:40,064 --> 01:06:43,167
The plane fare's a little too
much for my mom to handle.
1371
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,069
So, I'm just going
to find a shelter tonight.
1372
01:06:45,102 --> 01:06:47,737
And then figure out some way to
get enough money for a bus fare.
1373
01:06:49,573 --> 01:06:51,841
But, don't worry. I'm not
going to steal anything.
1374
01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:53,577
No, no, no, it's not that, um...
1375
01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:00,884
I want you to have this.
1376
01:07:01,785 --> 01:07:02,919
What is it?
1377
01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,621
It's a plane ticket.
1378
01:07:05,589 --> 01:07:07,023
No, no!
Yeah!
1379
01:07:07,057 --> 01:07:08,258
No, I can't!
1380
01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,759
Yeah, it's brought me
a lot of trouble.
1381
01:07:09,793 --> 01:07:12,296
But, if it gets you home for
Christmas, then it's worth it.
1382
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,266
(WHISPERS) Thank you.
1383
01:07:23,607 --> 01:07:24,608
Thanks again.
1384
01:07:25,909 --> 01:07:27,577
Oh, my gosh!
You need your top back!
1385
01:07:27,611 --> 01:07:30,114
No, no, no, keep it! It looks better
on you, than it ever did on me.
1386
01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:32,949
Well, thanks again, again!
1387
01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:36,052
Merry Christmas!
1388
01:07:36,086 --> 01:07:37,621
BOTH: Merry Christmas!
1389
01:07:40,624 --> 01:07:41,825
BOTH: Bye!
1390
01:07:45,229 --> 01:07:49,399
I am so proud of you. That was such
a grown-up thing you just did.
1391
01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:51,034
Grown-up enough
to go on Spring Break?
1392
01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:53,737
Yeah, if you had a ticket!
1393
01:07:53,770 --> 01:07:55,805
That's painfully ironic.
Yeah!
1394
01:07:58,242 --> 01:07:59,643
(BELLS JINGLING)
1395
01:08:03,147 --> 01:08:07,417
TEDDY: Hey, are you sure this is the
place where we're supposed to meet Dad?
1396
01:08:07,451 --> 01:08:09,419
AMY: He's not
answering his phone.
1397
01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:10,954
You know what?
I'll just text him.
1398
01:08:12,456 --> 01:08:14,924
MAN: Stay together.
Let's move, let's move!
1399
01:08:14,958 --> 01:08:16,860
Bravo team, head on a swivel.
1400
01:08:18,962 --> 01:08:20,597
Guard the right perimeter.
1401
01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:27,471
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1402
01:08:27,971 --> 01:08:29,673
(GRUNTING)
1403
01:08:29,706 --> 01:08:30,874
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1404
01:08:34,211 --> 01:08:36,646
Dad, when you're in the kill zone,
you gotta keep it on vibrate!
1405
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,815
I hate vibrate!
It tickles.
1406
01:08:39,716 --> 01:08:40,917
What are you doing?
1407
01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:44,020
I am texting your mother back.
1408
01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:47,291
Hey, there is no texting
in the kill zone!
1409
01:08:47,324 --> 01:08:49,626
PJ.
Got it.
1410
01:08:49,659 --> 01:08:53,029
(SCOFFS) These nerds
go down easy.
1411
01:08:53,062 --> 01:08:55,865
Dad! Come on! We're almost
through the Plains of Fire!
1412
01:08:55,899 --> 01:08:59,135
You could practically see the
Wastelands of Gorlion from here!
1413
01:08:59,169 --> 01:09:02,772
Wait a minute. We are going
straight to the car, correct?
1414
01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:06,310
Yeah! Yeah, Dad, it's
just past the Wastelands.
1415
01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,547
Is it?
No!
1416
01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:12,081
(KEYS BEEPING)
1417
01:09:13,317 --> 01:09:14,451
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1418
01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:16,653
Oh, my gosh, it's your father!
1419
01:09:16,686 --> 01:09:21,825
"Running late, can't call or text
from the kill zone. Love you, BRB."
1420
01:09:22,759 --> 01:09:24,694
That's random.
1421
01:09:24,728 --> 01:09:26,830
Well, so much for us all
spending Christmas together.
1422
01:09:27,897 --> 01:09:30,467
Hey, we will be together!
1423
01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:32,469
You know, we know what
route they're taking.
1424
01:09:32,502 --> 01:09:34,938
We'll rent a car and meet them halfway.
Come on!
1425
01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:37,173
AMY: Wow.
TEDDY: Let's go.
1426
01:09:37,207 --> 01:09:38,542
You go, girlfriend!
1427
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:42,011
Lady Luck Car Rental.
1428
01:09:42,045 --> 01:09:44,681
(SIGHS)
"Open 364 days a year."
1429
01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:49,419
Oh, God, it's after midnight.
Nothing's going to be open!
1430
01:09:49,453 --> 01:09:50,787
(SIGHS)
1431
01:09:52,222 --> 01:09:53,557
TEDDY: What about
that place?
1432
01:09:57,961 --> 01:09:59,095
(DOOR BELL JINGLING)
1433
01:09:59,128 --> 01:10:01,331
Oh, hey!
Merry Christmas!
1434
01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:03,333
Merry Christmas to you!
Thank you.
1435
01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:06,069
You know, I knew if I stayed open
all night long on Christmas,
1436
01:10:06,102 --> 01:10:07,537
it would pay off.
1437
01:10:07,571 --> 01:10:09,406
Yeah, the thing is,
1438
01:10:09,439 --> 01:10:12,276
we were hoping you knew of a rental
car place that might be open.
1439
01:10:13,109 --> 01:10:14,711
Oh.
1440
01:10:14,744 --> 01:10:17,547
Well, you see, that's the
trouble with car places.
1441
01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:19,249
There's no culture
of commitment.
1442
01:10:19,283 --> 01:10:20,884
That's why I sold my garage.
1443
01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:23,587
Moved to Vegas, I bought
this place from Gary...
1444
01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:26,456
Uh, wait, so you're not Gary?
No!
1445
01:10:26,490 --> 01:10:27,591
No, no, my name is...
1446
01:10:27,624 --> 01:10:29,859
Wait! Don't tell us.
Are you Walter?
1447
01:10:29,893 --> 01:10:31,728
(EXCLAIMS)
How'd you guess?
1448
01:10:31,761 --> 01:10:35,299
Oh, we used your old garage a few
hundred miles back for towing...
1449
01:10:35,332 --> 01:10:37,401
Actually, shoveling.
1450
01:10:37,434 --> 01:10:39,636
Wow, imagine that!
Say, how's Lenny doin'?
1451
01:10:39,669 --> 01:10:40,804
He's great.
Great.
1452
01:10:40,837 --> 01:10:42,906
Doing great.
So's Daryl.
1453
01:10:42,939 --> 01:10:44,641
Oh, you know Daryl?
Yeah.
1454
01:10:44,674 --> 01:10:47,644
Amazing. Yeah, yeah,
it really has been.
1455
01:10:47,677 --> 01:10:50,046
Ah, so listen, Walter,
my family's Christmas
1456
01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:52,982
depends on our not being in
Vegas when the sun comes up.
1457
01:10:53,016 --> 01:10:55,452
Uh-huh.
So, what's our best bet?
1458
01:10:57,287 --> 01:10:58,822
(EXHALING)
1459
01:11:18,141 --> 01:11:20,810
Really thought we would've
come across them by now.
1460
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:23,813
Let's take a rest.
1461
01:11:27,651 --> 01:11:28,852
(AMY SIGHS)
1462
01:11:28,885 --> 01:11:30,286
(BOTH PANTING)
1463
01:11:38,161 --> 01:11:40,330
Merry Christmas, baby.
1464
01:11:40,364 --> 01:11:42,198
Merry Christmas, Mama.
1465
01:11:46,903 --> 01:11:48,905
I hope the guys are okay.
1466
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:51,808
Wherever they are.
1467
01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:58,348
(EXCLAIMING)
There's something over here.
1468
01:11:58,382 --> 01:12:01,985
♪ I'm looking for a sign
1469
01:12:02,018 --> 01:12:04,788
♪ To show me that I'm right
1470
01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:07,791
♪ On cue to break the fall
1471
01:12:07,824 --> 01:12:10,694
♪ When our back's
against the wall
1472
01:12:10,727 --> 01:12:14,197
♪ So I'll take it
as it comes
1473
01:12:14,230 --> 01:12:18,234
♪ I'll show off anyone who
thinks I'll take it slow
1474
01:12:18,267 --> 01:12:19,769
Go! Go! Go!
1475
01:12:24,273 --> 01:12:25,675
(GROANS)
1476
01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:34,250
Everybody on the ridge.
On the ridge!
1477
01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:36,820
Move! Move!
1478
01:12:36,853 --> 01:12:38,388
♪ You better believe
1479
01:12:38,422 --> 01:12:41,190
♪ I'm not going away
1480
01:12:46,463 --> 01:12:48,131
(GROANING)
1481
01:12:55,304 --> 01:12:57,140
PJ!
1482
01:13:02,245 --> 01:13:03,279
(GRUNTS)
1483
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:12,288
Dad!
1484
01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:14,991
(GRUNTS)
1485
01:13:26,636 --> 01:13:29,105
Do it for Dad!
1486
01:14:02,639 --> 01:14:05,975
Yes! Yes! Yeah!
1487
01:14:06,009 --> 01:14:08,678
The Stone of Mitrios is mine!
1488
01:14:11,981 --> 01:14:13,583
RED TEAM MEMBER:
So close, too.
1489
01:14:13,617 --> 01:14:16,419
Who are you? You're
not even in the game!
1490
01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:19,455
Oh, yeah? Then why am I
holding the Stone of Mitrios?
1491
01:14:21,390 --> 01:14:22,926
(HORN HONKING)
1492
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,360
Here comes Jablowsky.
1493
01:14:25,194 --> 01:14:27,030
He's gonna crush you!
1494
01:14:27,063 --> 01:14:29,298
Well, actually, he's gonna
pay a guy to crush you.
1495
01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:35,539
Chuck Jablowsky.
1496
01:14:37,574 --> 01:14:41,678
Do you know what happens to people
that crash my paintball game?
1497
01:14:41,711 --> 01:14:45,048
You send them on their way with a
severe scolding and a free smart phone?
1498
01:14:45,081 --> 01:14:47,116
No, I pay a guy to crush them.
1499
01:14:47,150 --> 01:14:48,518
Told you so.
1500
01:14:48,552 --> 01:14:51,154
Unless you're wearing
my team uniform,
1501
01:14:51,187 --> 01:14:53,156
in which case, I win!
1502
01:14:53,189 --> 01:14:55,058
(ALL CHEERING)
1503
01:14:55,091 --> 01:14:56,960
That's my boy!
1504
01:14:56,993 --> 01:15:00,964
I'm the guy that lets him slack off
homework so he can play the game.
1505
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:04,701
Sir, thank you so much for not
paying a guy to crush us.
1506
01:15:04,734 --> 01:15:06,202
And may I say it's a huge honor
1507
01:15:06,235 --> 01:15:08,905
just to shake your
bizarrely small hand.
1508
01:15:08,938 --> 01:15:11,474
The pleasure's all mine, kid.
You won the game for me!
1509
01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:12,909
What can I do to repay you?
1510
01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:15,111
I believe a smart
phone was mentioned.
1511
01:15:17,446 --> 01:15:19,248
Actually, we need a lift.
1512
01:15:23,052 --> 01:15:25,755
Any chance the cook can make pancakes
shaped like Christmas trees?
1513
01:15:25,789 --> 01:15:27,557
He can barely make them round.
1514
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:35,699
I'm sorry you didn't get to watch
Charlie put the star on the tree.
1515
01:15:35,732 --> 01:15:39,636
Oh, that's okay, sweetie.
We'll have other Christmases.
1516
01:15:47,110 --> 01:15:48,878
(ALL YELLING)
1517
01:15:51,648 --> 01:15:53,549
How did you guys...
1518
01:15:53,583 --> 01:15:56,252
A buddy of mine triangulated your
cell phones and gave us a lift.
1519
01:15:56,285 --> 01:15:57,587
TEDDY: No way!
1520
01:15:58,121 --> 01:15:59,288
BOB: Thank you!
1521
01:16:00,456 --> 01:16:02,258
Bye! Thank you!
1522
01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:04,227
Thanks!
1523
01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:09,465
How did you guys get here?
1524
01:16:09,498 --> 01:16:11,234
Oh, you see that tandem bike?
Yeah.
1525
01:16:11,267 --> 01:16:13,937
We rode it here.
From Las Vegas.
1526
01:16:13,970 --> 01:16:15,672
Wow, that's like...
Ninety miles.
1527
01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:19,242
My butt hurts.
1528
01:16:19,275 --> 01:16:21,911
I just wish my parents
and Charlie were here.
1529
01:16:21,945 --> 01:16:23,279
(CAR HONKING)
Hey!
1530
01:16:24,848 --> 01:16:25,982
Hey!
1531
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:27,416
Hi!
1532
01:16:27,450 --> 01:16:28,885
Hi!
1533
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:30,253
Hey!
(HONKING)
1534
01:16:32,956 --> 01:16:34,924
BOB: Hey,
there's my girl!
1535
01:16:34,958 --> 01:16:37,260
Hi!
Charlie!
1536
01:16:37,293 --> 01:16:39,963
Who left my baby in the
middle of the desert?
1537
01:16:39,996 --> 01:16:41,931
There we go!
1538
01:16:41,965 --> 01:16:43,733
Good thing I took that shortcut,
or I never would have...
1539
01:16:43,767 --> 01:16:48,571
Hole in one! Is that
the Stone of Mitrios?
1540
01:16:48,604 --> 01:16:50,740
The real thing.
Did you finish the game?
1541
01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:54,010
Yeah, I did. I got thumb blisters
like you wouldn't believe.
1542
01:16:54,043 --> 01:16:55,779
Who's that?
Mama.
1543
01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:57,747
Who's that?
That's Mommy.
1544
01:16:57,781 --> 01:16:59,448
Petunia, how'd you get
the car seat to work?
1545
01:16:59,482 --> 01:17:00,950
It was easy.
1546
01:17:00,984 --> 01:17:02,919
This thing was stuck
in the mechanism.
1547
01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,454
It just about
fell out in my hands.
1548
01:17:06,823 --> 01:17:08,124
The star!
1549
01:17:08,157 --> 01:17:09,659
(ALL LAUGHING)
1550
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:12,628
AMY: Okay, Charlie!
You're on!
1551
01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,805
Way to carry on
the tradition, Charlie!
1552
01:17:23,707 --> 01:17:26,509
It certainly has been
a strange holiday.
1553
01:17:26,542 --> 01:17:31,014
Actually, Mom, I think this is the
best Christmas I've ever had.
1554
01:17:31,047 --> 01:17:33,482
Thanks for saying that, Mama.
1555
01:17:33,516 --> 01:17:35,952
I'll second that.
Best Christmas ever!
1556
01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:37,120
Thirded!
1557
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:38,487
Amen, brother!
Ow!
1558
01:17:39,555 --> 01:17:40,890
Dude, you...
1559
01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:43,993
Hi.
1560
01:17:44,027 --> 01:17:45,594
(GASPS) Dude!
Did you see that?
1561
01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:48,031
She just winked at me!
1562
01:17:48,064 --> 01:17:49,398
It's a Christmas miracle.
1563
01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:52,668
Who wants pancakes?
1564
01:17:52,702 --> 01:17:54,003
(ALL CHEERING)
1565
01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:56,940
Hey, look at this! They look
like little Christmas trees.
1566
01:17:58,441 --> 01:18:00,009
Speaking of
Christmas miracles...
1567
01:18:00,744 --> 01:18:01,911
I have another one.
1568
01:18:01,945 --> 01:18:03,346
Oh, I have to film this.
1569
01:18:07,784 --> 01:18:09,452
AMY: Okay, here goes.
1570
01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:11,921
Are you ready?
1571
01:18:11,955 --> 01:18:13,289
We're having another baby!
1572
01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:16,259
(ALL CHEERING)
1573
01:18:18,394 --> 01:18:22,498
Congratulations!
Mints all around!
1574
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:24,567
Well, I know one thing
you're good at.
1575
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,535
Making beautiful babies.
1576
01:18:28,104 --> 01:18:29,638
I love you, too, Petunia.
1577
01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:33,676
Well, it looks like you're
going to be a big sister, too.
1578
01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:35,211
Good luck, Charlie!
1579
01:18:39,615 --> 01:18:44,220
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
1580
01:18:48,157 --> 01:18:49,759
Sir, you're going to
have to check this. No.
1581
01:18:49,793 --> 01:18:52,061
No, I'm not...
Give me...
1582
01:18:52,095 --> 01:18:53,396
(GRUNTING)
1583
01:18:53,429 --> 01:18:54,898
Give it up, Gabe.
1584
01:18:57,300 --> 01:19:02,271
Ladies and gentlemen, due to our aggressive
policy of overselling all flights,
1585
01:19:02,305 --> 01:19:03,940
we are overbooked by one seat.
1586
01:19:03,973 --> 01:19:05,741
So if anyone wants
a free roundtrip...
1587
01:19:05,775 --> 01:19:07,010
Right here! Whoo!
1588
01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:11,747
Your turn.
1589
01:19:13,850 --> 01:19:15,819
We'll be back by New Year's.
1590
01:19:15,852 --> 01:19:17,353
No, you won't.
1591
01:19:24,027 --> 01:19:27,964
At what price, Teddy?
At what price?
1592
01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:30,133
I mean, what if we...
1593
01:19:30,166 --> 01:19:31,801
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1594
01:19:34,303 --> 01:19:35,805
(CHUCKLING)
1595
01:19:35,839 --> 01:19:37,974
What am I doing?
(LAUGHING)
1596
01:19:39,142 --> 01:19:40,609
MAN: Cut!
1597
01:19:40,643 --> 01:19:42,311
(BLEEP)
1598
01:19:42,345 --> 01:19:45,281
MAN: Set and action!
1599
01:19:45,314 --> 01:19:47,550
(IN SING-SONG VOICE)
Oh, hey. Oh, hey.
1600
01:19:48,317 --> 01:19:49,953
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1601
01:19:51,620 --> 01:19:53,289
Yeah.
Yeah.
1602
01:19:53,722 --> 01:19:55,024
And yoghurt.
1603
01:19:55,058 --> 01:19:57,360
(CHUCKLES) Yoghurt
isn't even on the menu.
1604
01:19:59,028 --> 01:20:00,796
Know what I mean?
(BLEEP)
1605
01:20:02,832 --> 01:20:04,767
I've no idea what
you're talking about.
1606
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:05,935
I do.
1607
01:20:05,969 --> 01:20:07,536
Bradley...
(CHUCKLES)
1608
01:20:08,872 --> 01:20:10,239
And gag reel.
116944
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof