All language subtitles for Everwood.S03E12.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(male narrator)
Previously, on "Everwood.."

I need to get more
of my life back.

But it's gonna change things,
you need to know that

and unless you can find more
time in your schedule..

I can do that.

I'm gonna do better, Amy.

Jake asked you out?
Like, on a date?

(Jake)
For whatever reason
it doesn't work out

I'm definitely
coming after you again.

(Nina)
It's amazing how you do that.

- What, stitches?
- No.

I just..
I mean, how you are with him.

Are you sure
you don't have kids?

[instrumental music]

(Cameron)
Excuse me, do you guys know

where I can find
Dr. Jake Hartman's office?

Um, it's a half a block down
and across the street.

Ah. Thanks.

♪ You ain't gotta wonder
about the small things.. ♪♪

You can close your mouths, boys.

What, I'm not.. What?

(Bright)
'I'm totally going
into medicine.'

You might have to start
by going to college first.

So that's what zero percent
body fat looks like.

Interesting.

♪ Boys ♪

♪ I've got a fresh life ♪♪

(Cameron)
Hi, is Dr. Hartman in?

He's at lunch.

Oh, you wouldn't happen
to know where?

You're not from here,
are you?

I'm starting to re-think
this whole winter thing.

It's bad for the hair.

It's so dry out,
it makes it all wispy.

I think I've gotta
find a new product.

- Really?
- Hmm.

And I think
you shouldn't be using

the word
"product" in public.

Most women...appreciate a guy

who can admit to his grooming
as it shows

a certain amount of confidence
in his manhood.

Jakey!

'Oh!'

Oh, my God. Cameron?

Oh, ho, ho!

[inhales]
Surprised?

Understatement.
What are you doing here?

Well, if Muhammad
won't come to the mountain.

Did you do something
different with your hair?

[theme music]

[music continues]

Actually, our trainer set us up.

(Nina)
'Your trainer?'

Pete's really more of a friend.

Oh, right, do you pay
all your friends

$150 an hour?

- Whoa!
- Not that he's not worth it.

I mean, this man does wonders

with every body part,
and if you think

about it,
it's a lot cheaper than lipo.

You know what, Cam, I bet
Nina's slammed with tables.

Maybe we should spare her
all the gory details.

Oh, please, I'm not busy at all.

Besides, I love gore.

[laughs]
Anyhoo, Scott Anderson
sends his love.

My old partner at Cedars.

As does Nancy and my parents

and Roy..
Our coffee bean guy.

- No way, how is Roy?
- He misses you.

I swear, it's crazy.
Literally everyone misses him.

Not as much as I do, natch

but everyone is always
asking, "How's Jake?

When's Jake coming home?"

And I never have
an answer for them.

Well, I'm, uh, done for the day,
so I am gonna go close out.

But it was so nice to meet you.

- So, Nina's pretty.
- Cam--

What, I didn't mean
I'm just saying..

[gasps]
I don't know what I'm saying.

I just flew over 1,000 miles

to see you and..

- Hi!
- Hi.

- So how long are you here for?
- Ten days.

Well, I had all this
vacation time saved up.

And my, my editor's having me
write this travel piece

so I brought my laptop and your
snowboard which you left

at my place, and I thought
we could hit the slopes.

I found this amazing ski resort.

It's kind of like the one
we used to go to at Mammoth.

Supposedly, they've got yummy
food, outdoor Jacuzzi--

Look, th.. Cam, I would love
to just hang out and ski

but I've got patients
I need to see all week

which is why if you
had called first..

Look, we-we'll figure
all of this out later.

But, but right now, I gotta
get back to the office, okay--

Now? But I just got here!

Who am I gonna play with?

Oh, my God, Neen..

We could totally
have a girls' afternoon.

I'm actually dying
for a mani-pedi.

Well, don't die.

[laughs]

Whoo!

♪ We're number one ♪

♪ And why are we number one? ♪

♪ Because of the rocket ♪

♪ And who is the rocket? ♪♪

Me!

You've got it, baby

- You bet your skates.
- Ah.

And they didn't want
a girl on the team.

Those fools!

Wait, where's your camcorder?

We need to be recording
this moment.

It's in the bag.

You know what? I got at least
an hour of tape on here.

There has to be at least
four or five seconds of you.

[telephone beeping]

(Amanda on answering machine)
'Hey, Andy, it's Amanda,
I'm just calling'

'to make sure
John's prescription'

'will be ready tomorrow.
One o'clock, right?'

'If I don't hear from you
I'll just'

'expect it then, okay?'

'Bye.'

Dad, camcorder..
I'm losing steam here.

Yeah, I'm just
turning it on, honey.

Okay, Rocket Brown..

...tell us about the game.

'Well..'

'...the flames came on strong'

'in the first period'

'but we totally schooled them'

'in the second and third.'

Ooh!

You trying to kill me
slowly, Rose?

I can smell that butter
from here.

- I found it.
- My scarf?

Oh, thank heavens.
That's pure cashmere, you know.

Oh, no, I-I definitely
lost the scarf.

But I did find
the perfect ballet class.

Oh, I didn't know you were
looking for a ballet class.

Yeah, I've been searching
on the internet

all week, and I think
this is the class.

Jason, he's the teacher,
he's worked with pretty much

every prima ballerina
that exists.

Well, you know how much we enjoy
watching you dance.

Well, it's not a performance,
it's just a class

and I still have
to audition to get in.

Of course, you'll get in, you're
the best dancer at County.

Oh, no, but this class is of
a completely different caliber.

'And I have taken
a little time off'

although last year,
I didn't study all year

and still managed to get
my GPA back up to a 3.8.

I guess so I'll just have
to do that with this.

Yep, that's
the Abbott work ethic.

So, I'll need a check
for the deposit.

And, um, the class is in Denver.

So if I get in,
I won't be home for dinners.

- How many dinners?
- Well, it's five nights a week.

Wait, wait, what? Wait,
what kind of class is this?

Dad, I just told you.
I'm gonna go wash up.

Five nights a week?

Why don't you stay for lunch?

I'll make a mean tuna melt.

I wish I could.

I got a patient at 2:00.

I'll cut off the crusts.

I know, I just wish
we had more time.

Well, the afternoon's
not too bad.

I could come by again,
say, around four-ish?

Hmm, Charlie will be home
from school by then.

I guess this is where
it gets tricky

when you're having an affair.

Hey, you had to say it out loud,
didn't you?

Let's not kid ourselves.
We are having an affair.

Yeah, but..

...with some seriously
extenuating circumstances.

I mean, as far as affairs go

we're not exactly cookie-cutter.

Maybe we should call it
something else.

Oh, really? Like what?

Like...tryst?

Or, uh, m-marital indiscretion?

How about...just soup?

You know, you're very odd,
but I like you.

[chuckles]

What?

I miss talking to you as well.

At least, when you were working
with John, we could..

...take a walk,
go to the park, hang out.

Now, we're locked
into this bizarro

fifty-five minutes
in my bedroom.

Well, we could always
take the 55 minutes

out of the bedroom
and just talk.

Yeah, yeah..

That plan sucks, too.

Truly.

Well, I've got nothing else.

Oh, man, I got to go. I'm sorry.

Oh, I know. It's okay.

[sighs]
Well, maybe five more minutes.

[instrumental music]

Now, this place
is so world-renowned

you think they'd be able
to afford to decorate.

Easy there, queer eye,
it's not a design center.

I think this is it.

Cool.

[sighs]

Class should be out any second.

Cool.

You didn't have to bring me
here, you know.

Now, do you see me complaining?

I told you,
if this is your dream

then I'm here to support you

or, at the very least,
chauffeur you.

How very un-Stepford wife.
How sweet.

I'm just being the new
and improved

supportive boyfriend
that you deserve.

[instrumental music]

You're way hotter
than any of them.

You can stop now.

- I'll just be a minute.
- Yeah, take two.

[instrumental music]

(Jason)
'Great, and..'

Very nice, very nice.

Now, listen,
I need you to lift.

Bring your shoulders
around with you, okay?

I want you to work on that
with this gentleman here. Sir?

[exhales]
Hi. Mr. Jason?

Yes, can I help you?

Yeah, um..

...they sent me
up here to talk to you.

They?

Well, the registration lady
downstairs..

Anyhow, I've heard so much
about you and your class.

My name's Amy, by the way

and I know
you have a winter program

and I was just wondering
when I could audition

where to sign up, how to start?

A lot of questions,
Amy by the way.

I talk a lot when I'm excited.

How many classes
are you taking now?

Well, I'm not
actually taking, right now.

But I have, for years--

- Where?
- At County.

- Is that your high school?
- Yes.

And they actually
have a very strong

program for a high school.

- How old are you?
- Seventeen.

Right.

Well, our winter session

starts in two weeks.
It's a professional class.

Most of our dancers are already
working in some capacity

and they've had classical
training for many years.

Yes, and I think that's great

which is exactly
why I'm gonna work

so hard to catch up.

Sweetheart..

- You won't make it.
- Excuse me?

Your build, your turnout,
it's, it's all wrong.

You're 10 pounds too heavy
and 4 years too late.

When are the auditions?

Next Thursday.

Great.

And, uh, thank you
for the constructive criticism.

I appreciate it.

You're welcome.

(Jason)
Okay, let me see it, please.
And..

I can't believe
you thanked that jackass.

Anyway, don't stress,
I've had professors

like that at Julliard,
and their main purpose

in life is just
to break you down.

- I'm not stressing, Ephram.
- Yeah.

And if he's so frickin'
knowledgeable

why's he teaching at some school
in Denver?

I'm no-not-not that
it's a bad school.

It's a great school, but--

You're not helping, Ephram.

I know, and I'm sorry.

Don't apologize.
Just get me home.

I need to start practicing,
like, now.

[door opens]

[instrumental music]

What's up, Rocket Brown?

So, how's it feel to be
the only member of the family

with any athletic ability
whatsoever?

You know, one time, I tried out
for the basketball team--

It's here.

What is, the alien invasion?

The Britney Spears tour?

It's...here.

Dad!

Are you okay, sweetie?

'Cause we can talk
about this if you want

or, or you can talk
to Nina about it

if you're uncomfortable.

I'm fine, but I've
got hockey practice

so let's just
get the stuff and go.

Are you sure?
'Cause I, I did prepare a talk.

I mean, this is the one thing
that I knew

was coming,
biologically speaking.

Granted, I-I didn't think
it'd be coming so soon.

It's not that soon.

Brittany got hers
two months ago.

Really? Wow.

Okay, so you-you want to discuss
this over a cup of coffee?

Look, I've read Judy Blume.
I know the drill.

If you really want
to do "the talk"

you can do it in the car,
but I've got to go.

Coach is working
on slap shots today

and I don't want to be late.

Okay.

Let's see..

- Wings sound fun.
- Great, let's do wings.

Wait. Always?

No, no, honey,
i-i-it only usually lasts

three to seven days.

Phew.

[doorbell rings]

- I brought rock candy.
- It's 9:00 in the morning.

Jake said you had the day off,
and you said

we should hang out again.
Didn't you?

- Yeah.
- So, now we can.

Where's your coffee maker?
You're gonna love this.

We're basically engaged.

- 'You and Jake?'
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, I didn't have
a ring or anything

but we literally talked
about everything

from where we were gonna send
our kids to summer camp

to having a chocolate fountain
at our wedding.

Oh, it's, it's amazing.

It's like this,
this waterfall of fudge

that you dip fruit and Rice
Krispie Treats and pretzels in.

Mmm, melty,
chocolaty-dipped everything.

- I love weddings.
- Yeah.

Except when you're the only

single girl there over 30.

Well, I don't know, having been

on the other side of the fence

the grass is not always greener.

Wait, you were married?

Ten years,
got divorced last spring.

Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

Oh, it's okay.
I think it was for the best.

Can I ask what happened?

He was gay.

- No.
- Ha, ha!

They have gay men in Everwood?

I-I'm, I'm sorry,
that came out completely wrong.

I just.. I mean, you wouldn't
think they'd be out here

in, like, macho-outdoorsy land.

Yeah, well, apparently,
they're everywhere.

So, so..

So, uh, what happened
with you and Jake?

I mean, how did he wind up
here without you?

[sighs]
That's just it.
I don't really know.

I mean, there was that
whole thing with his practice

but.. Well, you know
about that, right?

No.

Oopsie.

Well, I probably shouldn't
say anything

I mean, if he hasn't.

No, no, of course not.

Well, anyway, that happened.

And he said he needed
to get out of LA for a bit.

Wait, so you guys
never broke up?

We never even had a fight.

And that's why I had
to come here and see him

because I know that
once we're together

he'll remember what we have.

And I'll be able
to convince him to come home.

You know, Cameron..

...I obviously don't know Jake
as well as you do

but I do know that he really
seems to like it here.

So...you know,
maybe your strategy

shouldn't be so much about
dragging him back to LA, as--

You think I should
move here instead?

Uh, no, no, I didn't say tha--

Well, no, it's not impossible,
I mean..

I could easily do
most of my work from here.

Sure, but maybe you guys should
work out the big stuff first

regardless of the geography.

But geography
wouldn't be an issue

if I lived here.

Oh, Neen!

[chuckles]
I so needed girl time!

[laughs]

[instrumental music]

(Harold)
Amy? Amy!

Oh, hi, dad. You scared me.

Sorry. Honey,
it's freezing in here.

Oh, I'm actually quite warm.

'Well, dinner is ready, so..'

I'm not eating.

- What?
- Oh, it's fine.

It's really no big deal.
A lot of athletes do it.

I'm getting plenty of fluids.

No, you're fasting?

- Yeah, just for the week.
- That's ridiculous.

You need fuel for this kind
of physical exertion.

My God, you're bleeding.
Honey, let me see your feet.

Dad, this is what happens
when you haven't been

on point for a while.
It's fine.

No, no, it is not fine.

You're bleeding

you're starving,
and it's freezing.

Honey, what are you
doing to yourself?

This is what dancers do,
you're just

gonna have to get used to it.

I refuse to get used to watching

my daughter abuse herself.

Well, then, don't watch.

Dad, you didn't see these girls.
They were all stick-thin

and they all do this eight hours
a day, every day.

This is what I have
to do to compete

if I want to get
into this class.

Well, this isn't competing.

This is you trying
to squeeze two years' worth

of missed dance classes
into a week of rehearsal

in our sub-zero garage.

That's like trying
to train for a marathon

a week before the run.

When I was an intern

you know what we used
to call the influx

of injured patients

who did that? Morons.

Gee, dad, thanks
for the support.

Well, forgive me,
but what exactly am I supposed

to be supporting here?

Umm. How about my dream?

What? So, suddenly
this is your dream?

Not suddenly, I've wanted
to be a ballerina

ever since I was a little girl.

Yeah, you also wanted to be

a princess and an astronaut..

And I believe a carrot,
at one point.

You know what?

Ephram practices piano

almost 10 hours a day,
every day.

He's completely focused
to the exclusion

of pretty much
everything else all year.

And you know what? His dad
found a way to support him.

- He even built him a studio.
- And what is your point?

Why is it that guys are allowed
to get completely

OCD about their ambitions
and not girls?

My passion for dance
is exactly the same.

No, it isn't, this is you

making a rash decision
about your future

at the 11th hour, simply
because you are scared.

What you're exhibiting here
is panic, not passion.

You're the one who told me that
I could do whatever I wanted

if I just worked hard enough.
Well, I want this.

Why? Because somebody
told you you can't have it?

[scoffs]

You can shut the door
on your way out.

You're letting in the cold.

[classical music
playing on stereo]

[knock on door]

[giggling]

Your friend is the best.

Yeah?

What'd you guys do today?

We had rock candy.

Oh, what's the plan for tonight?

I need to know the dress code.

For dinner in Everwood?

Anything nicer than jeans

would be considered formal.

I love this place!

- So, how was it, really?
- Great. Fine.

She's moving here. Bye.

Wait, what?

Yeah, well, you're basically
engaged to her

or did you forget
about the chocolate fountain

at your wedding?

What did you two
talk about today?

Well, I think the question here
is "What do you two talk about?"

Because she obviously
still thinks you're together

which is a little weird

because as far as I knew,
you were single.

I am single.

Well, not according to her,
you're not.

So you must be doing something
to make her think

that she's still
your girlfriend.

I'm not good at breaking up
with people.

Well, no one is, but you do it.

I mean, how'd you break up
with your last girlfriend?

I didn't, I just sort
of...phased her out.

Uh.. Have you ever broken up
with anyone?

I've had breakups.

Nobody likes to be rejected.

I certainly don't.

Well, I told you I wasn't
interested and you seemed fine.

"Seemed" being
the operative word.

Look, Cameron is a mature adult.

If you tell her the truth,
she will be able to handle it.

I know that you want to be
the nice guy here.

- I am a nice guy.
- You think so, but guess what?

Leading someone on,
that's not so nice.

I mean, unless you
have feelings for her.

I thought I did, back in LA

but now.. No, I don't.

Then you have
to tell her tonight.

Tell her so she can start over
and move on with her life.

That's how you can be
a nice guy.

[sighs]

You're right. You're so right.

Could you tell her for me?

Aah.

- It was worth a shot.
- Hmm.

[exhales]

No, but am I allowed to say,
"break a leg?"

Um, that's probably
not a good idea.

(Ephram on phone)
'Now listen to me,
you're as talented'

'if not more, than any
of those girls.'

And you're gonna be
great today.

Thank you.

'You know, if I
get in my car right now'

I could probably make it
in time.

That's okay,
I'll call you after, okay?

[sighs]

Thank you.

Um, hi, is this,
this is where I sign in?

Here you are.
And here's an application.

Make sure to list
every class you've taken

including teachers
and contact information.

Cool. Thanks.

Okay, everyone, we're gonna
start on time today

so we're not here
until 4:00 in the morning.

I'm gonna keep it simple

and go down the list
alphabetically.

Amy Abbott?

Um.. I actually just got here.

I-I haven't really had a chance
to warm up or anything yet.

Moving on..

That's okay.

I'm ready.

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

(Andy)
'When I say "rocket",
you say "go!"'

Rocket, rocket!

Honey, you're supposed
to say "go."

What's the matter, kiddo?

I'm not feeling so good.

Well, what is it?
Is it cramps?

No.

Well, just tell me what hurts.

I just have a stomach ache
and a backache.

Oh, and also, a little bit
of a headache.

So, basically, everything aches?

You know, honey,
if you're not feeling well

you don't have to play today.

Yes, I do. It's the semi-finals.

My team needs me.

Alright, look, because these
are special circumstances

I think you should take
something, but only today.

This is not gonna be
an every month kind of a deal.

What do you mean,
like, period medicine?

Just some ibuprofen.

It'll make you feel less achy.

Okay. Cool.

Can I take 10?

[chuckles]

Do you want one?

No, I'm good.

So, um, if I get
into this class

I think I'm gonna have
to go off the pill.

Oh, do cookies normally
make you think of birth control?

No, it's just
the whole bloating thing.

I, I would probably drop five
pounds if I went off it, so..

Okay. Yeah, you realize
you're a stick, right?

But that's fine, you know?
Never mind.

Great.

(Bright)
'Hello.'

'Gordo! Dude, what's up?
Okay. Gordo!'

- Have they, uh..
- Nope.

Ah, I'm sure you got in.

Are you, really?

No, but.. Yeah, I was just doing
the whole supportive-boyfriend--

That's not supportive boyfriend,
that's patronizing.

How would you like it
if I was like "Ooh, Ephram

I'm sure you got into Julliard?"

Well, considering I haven't even
gotten an audition yet--

Never mind.

Okay, come on, Amy,
you got to lighten up.

- I was kidding.
- I can't lighten up.

You just, you-you don't get it.

Okay, so explain it to me.

[sighs]

Okay, so, imagine tomorrow

you woke up
with carpal tunnel syndrome

and you couldn't play piano
anymore.

What would you do?

You would freak out, okay?

That is exactly what is
happening to me right now.

I took two years off ballet,
and all of a sudden

I'm too old, too fat,
and my turnout's all wrong.

I'm never gonna be a dancer.

Okay.

"Okay?" That's all you got?

Okay, so you're not
gonna be a dancer.

So, what am I gonna be?

I don't know, but I'm sure
you'll figure it out.

You don't know that, Ephram.

You have no idea
what this is like, okay?

You were born this genius
prodigy child.

You took a year off piano
and still managed to get

into Julliard's summer program.

You didn't have to put
"Undeclared"

on your college applications.

It's not like that
for most people.

- It's much harder.
- Yeah, you're right.

For most people, it probably is,
but not for you.

If I, if I couldn't play
piano anymore

it would be a big problem,
because let's face it

I suck at everything else.

But not you, you-you're great

at everything you do.

You could be president
if you wanted.

Oh, please.

No, I'm serious,
if somebody had talked to me

the way that guy
Jason had talked to you

I'd be rolling on the floor
in a fetal position.

But not you, you took what
he said, you thanked him for it

and you worked harder
because of it.

You're the most driven person
I've ever seen.

It's, it's who you are.
It's what defines you.

I just wish I never stopped
dancing, you know?

I really wish that.

Neen.

Hey!

'What are you two doin' here?'

Catching the early bird special.

You know, going
at it local-style.

Hey, Cam, why don't you go
grab a booth?

- I'll be over in a second.
- Okay.

Hi, break up ever?

I tried to do it last night.

- 'Mm-hm.'
- I swear.

But she was so excited

about bonding with you

and, and moving here.

But I'm-I'm gonna do it tonight.

Where? You're gonna break up
with her here?

Yeah, it's perfect.
Neutral territory.

It's not like every time
she sees a Mamma Joy's in LA

she'll have to think
about this night.

There are no Mamma Joy's in LA.

Bingo.

That's me working my genius.

Okay, I just need
a quick pep talk

just a couple talking points
to get me going

and then I'm golden.

Please?

Okay.

Be direct and to the point.

The distance has made
you realize that you're just

not right for each other
anymore.

It's not fair to either
of you to stay in this.

And she deserves someone
that can give her the moon.

- And you're on--
- Really? I should say "moon?"

Just go. Go!

(Andy)
Go, Rocket!

'Go!'

[crowd cheering]

- Alright! Take it down!
- Kill 'em! Kill 'em!

(Andy)
That's my kid. She plays center.

Kill him! Break his legs!

Come on, Brown,
you got to be on that!

[whistling]

Let's go, Brown, you're moving
like molasses out there!

Hey, coach,
maybe you should give her

a rest for a few minutes.

You want to coach this game?

Come on, Rocket,
let's see some steam!

You know, she's really
not feeling too well.

Coach, I'll go in for her.

Relax, Dougie, Delia's fine.

No, she's not fine.

[whispers]
She's having her period.

She got her period?

No way!

Brown, off the ice!

Why are you pulling me out?

I was just getting my game on.

Dad, what are you
doing down here?

Wilson, get in there.

You're putting him in
instead of me?

Yeah, you should probably sit
for the rest of the period.

Get it? Period.

[boys laughing]

Hey, Neen, an-another refill?

'Please, when you can?'

(Cameron)
'So, Jake and I were talking
about checking out'

some of these
real estate listings.

You want to come with?

Um.. No, I don't.

I don't think
that you're gonna be

moving here because, um..

He doesn't want you to.

[laughs]

- What?
- I'm sorry.

Jake?

This is, um..

- Phew, I think I'm dizzy.
- You're still sitting down.

I can be dizzy
from a seated position.

Oh.. Okay.

I'm really sorry.

I shouldn't have done it
this way.

I meant to talk to you
last night.

But.. Well, after I talked
to Nina about it--

You knew he was gonna do this?

No, no, I didn't.
I-I mean, not until later.

- I-I mean, today, I knew--
- 'No, this isn't her fault.'

This is my fault.
I handled this badly.

Oh, my God.

You guys are sleeping together,
aren't you?

- What?
- No, no, we are not!

But you wanna be.

It's so obvious now.

You like him, and he likes you,
and that's why--

No, no, that is not why.

Honestly, I, I have no interest
in Jake for millions of reasons

but not the least of which
is what he's done to you.

I mean, look at you,
you're this beautiful

amazing woman
with an actual career

and he has reduced you
to a 16-year-old.

All his emotional withholding
and his false intimacy--

- Hey! He..
- No, you know, you're right.

I, I-I can't believe
that I was gonna..

...pick up my entire life

and-and, and move here

to this hole to be with you.

You are such a selfish coward.

And you..

I hope you fall in love
with another gay man.

I guess now we know
the real reason

you never went out with me.

Jake..

[knock on door]

Can I get you anything?

I'm fine.

Wow, first words I've heard

in over two hours.

We talkin' again?

Listen, kiddo, I know
it wasn't the greatest day

but Monday you'll be
back on the ice--

No, I won't.
I'm quitting the team.

What are you talking about?
You can't give up now.

You're the best player
they've got.

Not anymore.

Now, they're gonna make fun
of me for being a girl.

Well, I think it was
always pretty obvious

that you were a girl,
sweetheart.

Well, you made it super obvious.

Alright. You're right.

And I'm sorry about that,
I should've left

all the parenting to Judy Blume.

Look, I know
you're feeling bad--

- I'm fine.
- No, you're not fine.

Your body's going through
a lot of changes--

'I don't wanna talk about it.'

Why? Can you at least
tell me why?

Because it's weird,
and embarrassing.

And you don't know
what it's like.

Of course I do. I'm a doctor.

I know all about this stuff--

It's not the same.
Please stop talking now.

You're making it all worse.

Alright, fair enough.

So who do you think
we should call?

- How about Nina?
- I don't wanna talk to Nina.

'No? She knows
all about this stuff.'

You wanna talk to Edna?

She's a nurse

and nothing embarrasses her.

I just wanna be alone.

Look, honey, I know
you don't want to talk to me

about this stuff, but you have
to talk to somebody--

I want mom, okay.

Mom never would have done
what you did.

'She never would have told!'

'I just..'

I want to talk to mom.

[instrumental music]

So, what have we got,
three, four inches?

Yeah, sounds about right.

Jake, I'm sorry
about what I said.

I was just on a roll,
and it, and it got out of hand.

I don't think
all that about you.

"Emotional withholding,
false intimacy."

So you've memorized it?

I just meant
that you're the kind of guy

who can't break up
with somebody.

But that's because
you're the kind of guy

who doesn't want to hurt anyone.

Yeah, well,
that has its downside, too.

The truth is,
right now, I figure

I'm lucky you're even
still talking to me.

Why wouldn't I?

Well, if she told you
about the chocolate fountain

I figured she kept goin'.

Well, she did mention something
about your practice

but I didn't ask.

You ever hear of a guy
named Mack McKenna?

That producer guy, keeps blowing
up Chinatown in all his movies?

Well, he was a patient
of mine, sorta.

A friend of a friend
introduced us

and he invited me
to this party at his house.

And it was..
It was unreal.

Everything you imagine
Hollywood to be

but you don't think actually
exists, well, it was all there.

Anyway...a couple of drinks
later

Mack takes me aside..

Tells me that
he's heading out of town

for this film shoot
in Madagascar

but he needs to refill

a few prescriptions
before he goes.

He doesn't have time to come in
before his flight.

Could I fax in a couple
of his meds for him?

Nothing crazy, propecia,
some, some anti-anxiety stuff.

I thought you were
a plastic surgeon?

Well, a doctor is a doctor.

I can prescribe anything,
and he knows that.

And I'm standing
in the guy's living room

and I don't want him
to think I'm a jerk.

I faxed it in.

Hmm. Because you're a nice guy.

- Right?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, there were a lot
more parties after that.

I actually met Cameron
at one of 'em.

And I was bringing in
more clients

than any
of the senior partners were.

So no one seemed to care much

if I let a few
of the bigger names skip a visit

if they needed a scrip
called in.

Not as long
as they kept dropping

the practice's name
in the magazines.

Hmm.

I got a call one night,
last June

from an ER doc over at UCLA.

This patient of mine, an actor..

Just a kid, really.

[sighs]

By the time they called me

he had already OD'd.

And the bottle of pills
that he used had my name on it.

Oh, my God.

No charges were pressed
or anything.

But I didn't feel like
I could just go back to work

the next day,
or the day after that.

And after two weeks,
I knew I had to get out of there

and so I did.

And the thing is..

I thought I was looking
for a place to get away.

And it turns out..

...I found a place
where I could do better.

And I never really thought about
life in the, the big sense..

The destiny,
or anything like that.

But I think that
that's why I'm here..

Uh, to try and...be better.

I think you are better.

Hmm, maybe.

But not because of anything
that I've done.

It's because of you.

[chuckles]
Jake.

I mean it.

I don't know why,
but ever since we met

I've thought to myself

"I wanna be the kind of guy

that deserves her."

And I don't think I am,
I doubt I'll ever be, but..

But at least now,
I know what I'm aiming for.

You don't have to aim.

You're a good man, Jake.

You're the kind of guy,
who leaves his big date

in the middle to go stitch
up a kid's chin.

A guy who takes a girl's shovel

without even asking
if she needs help.

He just...he just does it.

Watch it, now.

You keep going on like that

and I might start
to get the impression that..

...you know..

[instrumental music]

Wow.

Yeah?

And I mean,
"Damn, you can kiss."

[chuckles]

Thanks.

I'm gonna do it again now.

(man on TV)
'The entire round,
each correct prediction'

'is worth $300! Yeah!'

[audience on TV cheering]

I was watching that.

Yeah, well, you get home
earlier than I do every day

so why don't you watch
what you want to watch then?

Yeah, but you have a job now

so why don't you go
get yourself an apartment

and watch what you want there?

Amy? It's for you.

Hello?

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Okay.

Thank you.

I didn't get in.

It's fine, though.

Really, um, I'm not surprised.

(Bright)
You think I should talk
to her?

I'm all about failure.

Oh, just let her be
for a while.

[Harold sighs]

[chuckles]

Don't take this the wrong way

but...this feels like
married-people's foreplay.

Not feeling very soupy.

Oh, no, it's my fault.
I'm sorry.

Well, what's going on?

Well, it's long and involved

and it can't be explained
in under 55 minutes, so..

So, talk to me. What happened?

- You sure?
- Yeah.

Okay.

Well..

Delia's "Aunt Flo"
paid her first visit.

What's so funny?
This is not funny.

Please tell me
you didn't say "Aunt Flo?"

Well, I didn't get
the chance to.

She didn't wanna talk
to me about it.

Well, thank the Lord,
and pass the turkey.

You got saved, my friend.

What? You think it's good that
my daughter won't talk to me

about the most important thing
that's happening in her life?

No, not good for you, maybe,
but..

Sweetheart, it's okay.

I don't know.

I don't know.

'I wanted so much
to be there for her.'

You know, I wanted to make up
for the fact that

she doesn't have two parents,
she's only got me.

The first time Charlie
asked me to buy a cup for him

I nearly passed out.

And that was after I bought him
an actual Dixie cup.

You did not.

I didn't know what it was.

Oh, God, and then trying
to figure out whether it goes

on the inside or the outside

of the underwear
was a nightmare.

Well, she really could have
used Julia on this one.

Probably.

But that's not your fault.
You can't change that fact.

No.

But she deserves someone
to talk to about this stuff.

I wish I could...somehow
find that person for her

but...I can't.

If you want, I could talk
to her about it.

I know. Too weird, huh?

Well, I appreciate the offer.

Well, we've squandered a lot
of minutes, so you want to..

Oh, please,
we have plenty of time.

You'll never guess what
happened to me this morning.

Oh, no?
Does it involve Dixie cups?

- I was confused.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm? You were confused?

Well, you do know
they do go on the outside?

- Yeah, I got that.
- Really?

(Ephram)
'My dad is not gonna be home'

'till late, which means takeout'

always an extremely positive
turn of events

in the Brown household.

What do you feel like,
Chinese or Thai?

How long until we talk
about this?

You don't like Thai?

Okay, uh, you didn't get
into your class.

You're pissed. It sucks.

If you wanna talk about it

I'm more than here for you

but I'll wait
till you bring it up.

If you don't want to bring it up

that's fine, too.

Yeah, I don't want
to bring it up yet.

See? Cool.

By the way, you see
how I'm being right now?

This is exactly
how I want you to be

when I don't get into Julliard,
so take notes now.

[chuckles]
I'm not worried
about you, Ephram.

Yeah, but..
You can't know that.

So, Chinese or Thai?

- Thai.
- Alright.

Oh, it's you.

It is.

My life is over.

Yeah?

Mine, too.

It sucks being a girl.

Especially when everyone
knows it.

Tell me about it,
you think I can control

the size of my hips?
I can't, and you know what?

I like my hips,
I think they're fine.

I think they're fine, too.

Boys have such an easy life.

They don't have to worry
about anything.

It's annoying, isn't it?

Although they do have
their share

of lame stuff to deal with.

Like what?

Well, like,
when they're around your age

their voices start to crack,
which is hilarious.

You're not supposed to laugh
when it happens but you

totally do 'cause it
just sounds ridiculous.

I can't wait for Dougie Wilson's
voice to crack.

I'm gonna laugh my butt off.

[chuckles]

And then when they get
to be around my age

they get all
these awful pimples.

Girls get pimples.

Yeah, but we get
to hide them with makeup.

Then the worst is when they get
to be around our dads' age.

That's when it really
starts to get horrifying.

They start to lose their hair
and it starts growing in

all sorts of weird places

like...on their backs
and in their ears.

- No?
- Yep, it's bad.

At least they have control
over their bodies.

Stuff doesn't just
happen to them

without them letting it happen.

Well, um, let me
put it this way.

In a couple years, when a boy
gets called up to the chalkboard

to do a math problem,
and he brings his textbook

with him, you just remember
this little conversation, okay?

I guess giving up hockey isn't
the worst thing in the world.

You're not gonna quit
just because of what

some dumb boy said, are you?

Not just about them.

Just something about it
isn't the same anymore.

I don't know,
I have to think about it.

Well...just make sure

that if you do decide
to leave it behind

it's because you want to.

Otherwise, you might
end up regretting it.

And if you do decide to move on,
that's cool, too.

'Cause sometimes, in order
to move onto the next

great thing in your life,
you have to leave

the first great thing behind.

Kinda like saving room
for dessert?

Yeah, kinda like that.

Do you know about gymnastics?

[instrumental music]

[theme music]