Original subtitles

(male narrator) Previously on "Everwood.."

The hat?

Oh, it's my beret from my dad.

Is it like a Hong Kong thing?

Uh, he gave it to me a long time ago, why?

Look, maybe whatever reason we were friends

before in the first place, isn't there anymore.

It's okay, you know. Things happen.

I can't be around you right now, Ephram.

See you later.

- What's happening here? - I don't know.

What do you think is happening?

I don't know.

I wanted to see you to see..

...if I was going crazy, or if there was something here.

We can't.

[instrumental music]

I'm telling you, the whole thing is a big, fat lie.

I'm done. You?

Well, Brenda and I sort of said

that we'd get each other two presents.

[chuckling]

- But one's okay. - Let's go, come on.

So, what do you think? Do I need a lawyer?

'Cause you don't like your part in the holiday pageant?

I don't see anybody takin' the case.

But it's not a holiday pageant. It's all about Christmas.

You know it, I know it.

- Everybody knows it. - I don't know it.

I'm playing an angel.

There are no angels in the Hanukkah story.

There are no angels in the Kwanza story.

Oh, do you even know what the Kwanza story is?

Well..no..

But I bet it doesn't have angels.

What do you care? You're half-Christian, anyway.

But the other half of me isn't.

What about that half? What about mom's half?

Okay, you're right. So, stage a revolution.

Dump the halo, and tell 'em you want to play Elijah.

That way, you don't have to show up. He-he.

If you're gonna make jokes that go over my head

can you at least explain them to me?

- Okay, see, Elijah was-- - I don't care. I'm too mad.

[bell chimes]

- Whoa. - What? What is it?

'"Joe lies?" Isn't that Madison's band?'

- Yeah. - Oh, can I come?

Come with who?

With you.

You're gonna go, aren't you?

Get in the car, Elijah.

[instrumental music]

[engine starts]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[door opens]

Morning.

Oh, good tidings to you, Dr. Brown.

What do you think of our...decked halls?

Oh, fine. Christmas-y.

(Harold) 'What?'

No grousing that I didn't consult you

before commencing with the decorative scheme?

No quick-witted barbs about my audacious integration

of traditional Victorian ornamentation

with the more plebeian drug-store varieties?

It's 8 o'clock in the morning, Harold.

You're gonna have to try and use less adjectives.

I see your mood has not improved.

You remain quite the dour little elf.

Amanda Hayes called.

My mood is fine.

And don't call me an elf.

It pisses me off.

[door bangs]

[sighs]

You naturally want to double up on the vacuuming duty.

Nothing more irksome than

fallen tinsel strewn about.

I suspect three times a day should suffice.

- I love the holidays. - Don't you just?

Go grab that hoover.

Okay, you're right. I am in a bad mood.

Really?

Forgive my un-dropped jaw.

I'm sorry, but I'm-I'm just, look, I'm just

completely overwhelmed, I-I-I..

I feel like I've been shopping since arbor day

and-and I'm not even halfway done yet.

Single father at Christmas time.

[inhales] You do have my sympathy.

Good, because I'm hoping to shamelessly

exploit that sympathy.

I, uh, I could really

use some help with my patient load.

Perhaps, it is, after all, the season of charity.

Thanks.

Oh, yeah, what is this?

'You're giving me John Hayes back again?'

Oh, all you have to do is go to the house

and oversee his day-to-day progress.

I think you'll be fascinated by some of the work

we've been doing. It's very cutting-edge.

And when I think cutting edge, I think Harold Abbott.

From what I understand, you've been a human CD changer.

Hardly Nobel-winning.

Alright, well, scratch the cutting edge.

But it's a very simple routine once you get it down.

It's just a little bit time-consuming.

Time-consuming is not a bonus.

I do have other patients to attend to.

I know, that's why I called some other doctors first about

the case, and no one would do it pro bono.

Which I find kind of ironic since

this is the season of giving, but you..

...with the tinsel and the Christmas balls

I mean, you really have the spirit.

Oh, don't go that route, sir.

It wears very poorly on you.

Look, you were his doctor once, Harold.

You took care of him. He needs you now.

And Amanda needs someone to help her through this.

Amanda?

Would you help me out on this?

I could really use it.

Consider it my gift to you.

[inhales] Thank you.

You do realize this means you'll get no sweater.

(Amy) I don't know, it just doesn't seem big enough

especially after everything he did in the cabin.

Can't believe there are candles

Are they scented?

Gardenia, which is my favorite smell.

Maybe they could engrave it, do you think that

they could fit, "I love you, Ephram" on the back?

Absolutely. Engrave it. Then, can we go?

No, the watch is too boring.

I want my first Christmas present for Ephram

to be original, but if I try too hard to make it original

I'll end up getting him something like a fondue set.

Which would be weird, right?

It depends, is Ephram a fan of cheese?

- I believe he's in favor of it. - Well, then..

'But I like the watch.'

Maybe I should just get him both.

[exhales] I'm developing hives.

Seriously, I-I feel all scratchy.

Am I red? 'Cause I feel red.

Hannah, Hannah, you just need to see

Christmas shopping as a survival game.

You just keep moving, bob & weave, avoid strollers

and...pack water.

- Here. - Thank you.

Alright, uh, we can leave in ten minutes

if you have some stroke of genius

about what to get my dad, and keep in mind

I forgot his birthday last year

so, this has to rock.

So, I guess golf balls are out.

Okay, well, what does he like?

I don't know.

Um...bad music, argyle, Mister Rogers.

I really feel like there should be some

perfect hybrid of those things.

I know, right.

Hmm.

Well, what are you getting your dad? Maybe I can copy.

I haven't, um.. I don't know.

But they're coming out, right?

'Cause I want to meet them.

Yeah, except, uh, I don't..

I don't think they're gonna make it, actually.

You're kidding.

- In fact, not kidding. - So, what?

Are you going to Hong Kong? 'Cause that'd be awesome.

Christmas just isn't, you know, really big deal in my family.

It's pretty much just, uh, food and church.

[chuckles]

- Oh, I'm sorry. - No, it's fine.

I-I really don't care.

So, uh, can we get your dad something and go?

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Two pies for the county clerk's office.

- What's up? - You, uh,you wanna sit down?

It's pretty backed up, it might be a while.

Look at you!

Yeah.

- And all legit? - Got a new job.

[clears throat]

I got my own T1 line.

Hey, uh, I got one of these too, on my car.

Yeah, I know.

Weird, right?

Not for me. So, you gonna go?

No. No, I don't.

Why not?

Well, I don't know. Why would I?

Oh, I don't know, why do people slow down on the freeway

when they see a car accident, all those rubber-headers?

- Neckers, right? Neckers. - Right.

They stop because they can't help themselves, you know.

It's not like they want to see a bunch of body parts

spewed all over the road, you know.

Intellectually speaking, they know that would

make them hurl. But they stop anyways.

Because you can, because it's there.

So, acc-according to this rationale..

...seeing Madison's band will make me wanna hurl.

And that's a reason to go?

- Interesting theory. - Oh, come on.

you're not even the least bit curious

what she looks like? It's been a while.

Yeah, of course, I'm curious.

So, go for the visual.

Oh, I know, I just...bring Amy along?

Dude, seriously.

I don't know how you made it this far without me. Really.

You don't tell Amy. She'd freak.

Why? I thought you said it was human nature.

Well, it's male human nature, okay?

Female human nature is completely different.

We're talking about jealousy and claws

it's-it's ugliness, man.

So, I should lie to her?

Well, l-l-lies of omission

don't count as lies.

Did you tell Amy that you didn't

brush your teeth this morning?

Why, I did brush my teeth this morning.

Pretend that you didn't. Would you tell her?

Wha-why?

- No, I wouldn't. - This is the exact same thing.

(male #1) 'Okay, here you go, Bright.'

I, uh, put it on the city tab for you.

Thank you.

Uh, I don't think I should go.

Well...you're a bigger man than I am, Ephram Brown.

But...guess we already knew that.

[chuckles]

- You want a refill on that? - Your friends suck. No offense.

Gee, how could I take offense at that?

No, but, seriously, they dump their kid on you

at the beginning of her junior year, which

by the way is the hardest year ever.

[inhales] They never call her

and now they're not even gonna be here for Christmas?

Did Hannah say she was upset about this?

Well, you know what, she's not as upset as she should be.

That's only because she's not in touch with her rage.

- Luckily, I am. - Uh, yeah, I can see that.

Do you have their number on you? I think I should call them.

- Uh, what number? - In Hong Kong?

I'll charge it to my dad. He won't care.

And maybe, if they heard from her best friend

they'd actually understand.

You, You know what? I can call them.

- I-I can explain everything. - That's okay.

I'd rather do it myself, but do you know

what the time change is, so, that I don't

call them in the middle of the night?

[exhales]

- Nina? - Yeah?

Do you know what the time difference is?

Um, I don't know. It's like what, 12 hours maybe?

There is no Hong Kong, is there?

Well, technically, Hong Kong exists.

I could point it out on the map.

But Hannah's parents aren't there.

What?

Kid, you're gonna have to talk to her yourself.

I-I can't do this part.

Talk to her about what? I don't even know what's happening here.

Mm.

She lied to me?

It is not a lie-lie.

Look, you just have to talk to Hannah.

I do talk to Hannah. We talk about everything.

She knows my entire life story.

God, this is like we're right back to where we started.

No, no, you're not.

Listen to me. You know Hannah.

You, you know what a good girl she is, and you know that

she loves you to death, so think about the reasons

why she might keep something from you.

I don't know.

Is it bad?

Oh.

You can talk to her about it, or you can let her come to you

when she's ready, just, please, don't be mad at her, okay?

[bell dings]

[cell phone ringing]

- I need seven minutes. - 'Ah, it's okay.'

I'm-I'm still home.

Oh good, well, the slower you drive, the better I'll look.

'So, um'

I had an interesting conversation with Nina today.

I'm not really sure of the best way to approach it yet.

Oh, yeah?

Would it be huge if we didn't go out tonight?

Huh? I thought we were gonna, you know..

Yeah, I know. I'm just

I'm-I'm feeling a little under the weather, so..

- Oh, West Nile virus? - 'Probably.'

Hey, I-I think I should stay in, I don't wanna get any more sick.

(Amy) 'Okay, well, do you want me to bring you soup, or I could, uh'

go pick up your favorite cold medicine.

The one that makes you feel drunk?

That's okay. I don't wanna get you sick.

Okay, well, take lots of vitamin C.

Watch Jon Stewart, and call me tomorrow.

I will.

- Bye. - 'Bye.'

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

♪ Got to keep up together at home ♪

♪ Got to keep up in your haunted home ♪♪

Hey!

Do you know they don't serve beer here?

That's because it's a coffeehouse.

- So, you're here. - As are you.

- How'd you know I'd..? - Dude, please.,

I figured you could use a wingman.

Uh, I mean, what do-what do I really expect tonight

best-case scenario?

Ah, okay, possibly number one, you want to

get back together with Madison.

- No, I-I don't. - Come on.

If she came up to you and said you were the only man

she'd ever love, said she'd dress up like Catwoman for you.

- You'd say no? - No, it's not like that.

I-I don't, I don't miss Madison like that.

I don't even miss the relationship that we had.

Truth is, I always felt like I was trying

to keep up with her or prove myself.

With Amy, I don't feel like that way.

She makes me feel good.

Groovy, well then, this is just the Pepsi challenge.

More metaphors?

Look, you're in love with your current beverage okay, Amy cola.

And, but every man needs the side-by-side taste test.

Okay, so you come here, you check out the ex.

And you just make sure you made the right choice, you know.

Of course, that choice becomes much easier

if Madison suddenly became heinous.

(male #1) 'Let's have a big welcome for "Joe Lies."'

I think you should write a book.

I'm thinkin' about it.

Just pray for fat, man. Pray for fat.

[cheering]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

You're gonna snag all the Oreos, aren't you?

[chuckles] You caught me.

Personally, I can't do Oreos without the milk.

It has to be ice-cold, big glass.

Without the dripping, there's really no point to Oreos, right?

I always knew that you were a high-maintenance woman.

So, I didn't see Charlie in the show.

Oh, he was, uh, backstage.

"Curtain man," I believe, is the official title.

He gets tongue-fried, uh, stage fright.

Tongue-tied when he's nervous.

It's genetic, as you can see.

I, uh, I've been meaning to call you.

I got your message about Dr. David.

Oh, that's okay, I-I wasn't

really expecting him to take on the case.

Well, actually, it doesn't really matter

'cause I've found somebody much better.

And this is a doctor who is actually looking

to do pro bono work.

- Uh, Andy, we've already been-- - It's Dr. Abbott.

- Dr. Abbott? - Yeah.

He's very excited about it.

And he already has a relationship with John.

So it just, it works out perfectly.

Dr. Abbott is looking to do pro bono work?

Does he know what "pro bono" means?

Well, he's very serious about it.

And I think that you and John will be very pleased.

Stop that.

Stop talking to me like you don't even know who I am.

Daddy! Daddy, did you see me?

See you? Are you kidding. How could I miss you?

You were the only Maccabee in the manger.

You stole the show, kiddo.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

Who took all the Oreos?

Oh, probably some greedy parents.

Come on. We'll go find some more.

- I'll, uh, I'll call you. - Don't.

You don't have to.

♪ I'm dreaming ♪

♪ Of a white Christmas ♪

♪ Just like the ones ♪

♪ I used to know ♪

Dad, love the Bing, but could we maybe switch it up a bit?

What?

Silence dear bingle? Never.

When we Abbotts lose our traditions, young lady..

...we lose who we are.

Oh, we should save the star for Bright.

It's his favorite part.

Mm-hm, rice Krispy treats are his favorite part.

Maybe we should make some more.

[doorbell rings]

I bet you that's Ephram, I knew he didn't sound that sick.

Well, invite him in. There's plenty of cider.

Oh, that's okay, mom. It's still early.

We could probably make the movie.

[sighs]

Oh, hi.

Nina said she talked to you?

Yeah, but she didn't tell me anything, um..

She asked me to leave you alone, so..

No, I know.

Do you have a minute?

Yeah.

My parents are in Lakeville, Minnesota

in the same house where I grew up.

Okay, so, and the whole Hong Kong thing?

I don't know.

They reran "90210" on FX

and the Walshes went to live in Hong Kong.

I thought it was sort of believable.

Hm, that is good.

Yeah, well, it's a pretty good show.

[chuckling]

Okay, but I still don't know why

you made up the story in the first place.

Because my dad is kind of dying.

[instrumental music]

Oh, my God, Hannah.

No, don't, don't do that.

See, that's why I made up the story

so I wouldn't be that girl anymore, tragedy girl.

I-I went through the first two years of high school

being that person, and I don't want to do it anymore.

Okay, I-I understand that.

I know you do.

He used to work in the library, restoring rare books.

He loved books, like

not the insides, but the outside.

Like the covers, the way they smelled.

I just like the insides

and he said that made us a perfect fit.

He was the book. I was the story.

He has Huntington's disease.

I'm sorry. I-I don't, I don't know what that is.

It's a brain disease.

My birthday party when I was eight.

My dad just punched this other dad.

I mean, like a-a real punch.

I remember the noise.

I mean, my dad was so nice

like he never even yelled at anybody.

But there he was.

There was blood all over his green shirt

and he didn't even know why he did it.

A year later, he couldn't eat..

...then he couldn't talk.

That was-was the worst part, when he stopped talking, cause..

[sighs]

...we used to talk a lot.

[sighs]

And now he's gone.

[exhales]

When did he..

- Did he die? - No, no, he's, uh, he's not.

He's just in bed, you know.

He, he can't talk or think or..

...or move.

You look in his eyes, and he's just empty.

He's the book without the story.

My mom takes care of him.

And my brother always took care of me

but he went away to college last year so..

...I came here.

Don't feel sorry for me, okay?

[instrumental music]

[knock on the door]

Hello there.

Did I call too early?

Not if you're a marine.

I trust Dr. Brown told you I'd be coming by?

I believe he promised.

Excellent. Well..

Worry not about the baton passing smoothly, Mrs. Hayes.

I have devoured John's recent files.

I believe he may be teetering on the brink of a breakthrough.

I intend to give him a firm shove. Three-pronged outlet?

Maybe you can shove him later in the week?

He's sleeping right now.

Well, then I have ample time to prepare my materials.

John will awaken refreshed and keen

to challenge the next phase of his rehabilitation.

Music therapy was an encouraging beginning.

But it's time to leap from the realm of sound

into the complex world of the visual.

- Intrigued? - Yes.

I've dreamt of this moment.

You were wearing a top hat.

My preliminary research has led me to discover

a nascent theory almost undiscussed in medical journals.

I believe that we can use color therapy

to help john rebuild the emotional connections

within his brain.

- Color therapy? - Yes.

It may be historic research.

Allow me to illuminate the concept.

There.

'Now, how does this color make you feel?'

Uh, um...it's blue.

It's a royal lavender, more specifically.

But you are emotionally correct.

This wavelength tends to promote melancholia.

Dr. Abbot..

(Harold) 'Just a moment of your indulgence, please.'

Rose pink, dynamic, vibrant.

Now, please, your honest, emotional reaction.

- Annoyed. - Angry?

- Getting there. - Yes.

Scarlet stirs the rageful humors.

As you can see, the connection between color

and emotion is elemental.

So, perhaps over time, John could develop a rudimentary

emotional vocabulary based on these colored lights.

I am not putting my husband under a grow lamp.

He is not a philodendron.

I realize this sounds rather theoretical.

Well, it seems like you're about to don a toga

and pass me a daisy.

Dr. Brown has made remarkable progress.

We can build on that.

Dr. Brown sees what he wants to see.

John moved his finger. He blinked.

Who knows what it means?

The highest mountain is climbed in tiny steps.

John is never going to climb a mountain.

It isn't working. Nothing's working.

I want you to leave.

Perhaps if we have a cup of coffee, we can discuss this.

It would be a shame to lose hope now

especially in this, the-the season of miracles.

I don't believe in miracles, Dr. Abbott.

I'm tired. I'm done.

Tell Andy that I'm done.

[instrumental music]

Hey.

Your mom said I could just come up.

Hey, um, how you feeling?

Oh, pretty good, you know.

Um, sorry about last night, I just..

No, that's okay. You're from a weak stock.

I'm a fast healer, though.

What are you doing?

Just some research stuff.

You realize that it's Christmas break, right?

Which means all computer-oriented activity

should cease and desist?

Unless, of course, you're buying me presents online.

Amy?

Huh? Oh, sorry.

So, what have you been doing the past 12 hours?

Anything exciting?

Ah, just..

...feeling pathetic, mostly.

As you should be.

Flaking on me last-minute like that.

Well, what about you?

How was the Pagan ritual of tree-trimming and nog-making?

When are you going to accept my Lord?

When you stop persecuting my people.

Actually, it was kind of nice.

Dad uh, dad caroled himself to sleep.

Mom got buzzed off the hot toddies.

- Hannah came by. - Yeah?

Yeah, I was gonna call you.

Did you try calling me?

'I mean, because my, my-my-my phone was off.'

Oh.

I mean, only 'cause I wanted to get to sleep.

I mean, otherwise, I would have left it on.

I just wanted to sleep.

Well, I guess it doesn't matter

because I didn't try calling you, so..

Are you, like, mad at me or something?

No, why would I be mad at you?

Well, I don't know, but you're acting mad at me.

You're acting weird, which is normally fine.

But um..

You know, I have a lot of work to do right now, so..

You know what? I'm-I'm just gonna go.

- Cool. - Um..

I'll just, I'll call you later, or you can call me.

Okay.

Hey, how'd it go with John? Was it good?

I just found some new articles on light therapy.

I was printing them up for you.

Save your toner. I was fired.

- What? - Terminated.

Unceremoniously, I might add.

(Andy) 'Well, what did you do?'

Oh, no, don't tell me you took your slide projector.

What did I do?

I hurled myself into her husband's treatment

with unrestrained verve, that's what I did.

Well, some people don't respond well to hurling verve.

Some people need to be romanced into things a little.

What did she say? How did she act?

Frankly, in the five years I've worked with her

I've never seen her quite so fragile.

Perhaps it's the holidays. Maybe it's simply exhaustion.

Whatever the reason, she's had enough.

She's done.

Alright, new plan.

We'll talk about what you should say

And how to say it. We'll write a script.

I do not need to recite your written words like some sort

of inane drone.

Mrs. Hayes was quite clear in her resolve.

I think we need to respect her wishes and move on.

What are you talking about? Respect her wishes?

We are gonna continue this therapy.

I'm not gonna let my patient suffer

just because I mishandled my relationship with his wife.

Mishandled what, precisely?

She's a very beautiful woman, isn't she?

'I know she seems quite strong.'

She's really very vulnerable, susceptible, almost.

Susceptible to what?

Almost anything, I'd imagine.

'Or anyone.'

A woman in her position, it would be very easy to confuse

gratitude with other kinds of affection.

Why don't you just cut to the chase, Harold?

This is not a dalliance.

She's married to your patient.

Nothing has happened.

Well, good.

Then it's not too late.

Listen to me, Andy, I-I believe you are an honorable man.

'That belief that has allowed me to stand by you.'

Even when we've disagreed, there has been many a case

many a parental decision

where I've questioned your tactics, your approach.

Ultimately, I've chalked it up to your liberal ballyhoo

that New York sensibility that you still cling to.

But what you're considering now is wrong.

'It's wrong, no matter what your heart may be telling you.'

This is unethical.

It is..

...it is unforgivable.

You have to stay away from her.

- Hi, there! - Shh!

Hi!

Dr. Jake Hartman.

It's nice to meet you.

These are six weeks overdue.

Yeah, see, I never really went to the library back in LA.

I was more of an amazon.com kind of guy, you know.

But I thought I'd give it a shot here.

It seemed Everwoody and all.

Anyway, I'm-I'm obviously not so good

with the whole book-return concept.

You should see my blockbuster bill.

[chuckles] Killer.

- Uh, do you take checks? - No.

(Amy) 'Dr. Jake.'

Um, could you possibly help me with something?

Sure thing. I'm gonna..

You're Amy Abbott, right?

- You're Annie's granddaughter. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I thought you looked familiar.

She keeps, like, three pictures of you on her desk.

Yeah, she's sweet, um..

Do you know what the Basal Ganglion is, exactly?

Not a fan of small talk. Got it.

Well, I know it's the part of the brain

that regulates voluntary movement.

And I know that the caudate nucleus

is in the same part of the brain

only it's in charge of like, organizing thoughts

and awareness and stuff.

Yeah, are you like pre-med or something?

Undeclared.

I just don't understand why they're so close

together if they do such different things.

It's like selling toasters in the makeup department.

Well, the-the logic of brain architecture

is a pretty hot debate among neuro-anatomists.

What are you looking at, specifically?

Huntington's disease.

Ooh, Huntington's, is like

the cruise missile of neuro-degeneration.

And it hits the worst spot possible.

But how do you treat it, because I haven't seen anything here.

That's because we don't. We don't know how yet.

Maybe if Washington didn't waste so much time

arguing the moral ethics of stem-cell research

we'd have a cure by now, but, as it stands, we got nothing.

So, basically, if you have it, you're gonna die.

It might take a little while, but..

And how do you get it? Is it like a virus?

No, it's genetic. One tweaked chromosome.

The tiniest thing you could possibly even imagine.

And you're screwed for life.

Genetic, so that means if one of your parents has it..

Then there's a 50% chance you're gonna have it, too.

Any who, it's super nice to meet you.

I'm gonna go pay for my books and head back out.

It's pretty great outside. It's all sunny and cold.

You should try and enjoy it.

Yeah, thanks.

(Amanda on answering machine) 'Hi, you've reached Amanda, John, and Charlie.'

'I can't believe we're not here.'

[beeps]

Taking a break?

I'm not feelin' it.

Do you ever get that thing where everything in your life

is pretty much perfect, but, instead of just enjoying it

you can't wait to, you know, smash it all up?

I don't know, it's been a while since perfect.

Why? What's going on?

I went to see Madison the other day.

When did this happen?

A few nights ago, I got a flyer

for her band on my car and I talked to Bright.

Oh, because he always gives such good advice.

So, did you see her?

No, she left the band.

- But dad, the thing is-- - So, she wasn't there?

No, but the point is there

was no possible reason for me to go.

No good could have come out of it, but I went, anyway.

As if somebody was daring me.

- You mean Bright? - No.

I mean, like, the little red dude on my shoulder.

He's got a pitchfork.

He's all over the cartoon network.

Everything in my life is finally right.

Amy's great, school is what it is.

But I-I keep testing it, just seeing how far I can push things

before they all fall apart.

What kind of a person does that?

A curious person.

But there are some things you don't need to

waste your time wondering about.

Yeah, I-I can't help it.

Lately, I feel like my life is one of those

"Choose your own adventure" books.

You know, if I take the Colorado A and M tour

does that jinx my shot at getting into Juilliard?

If I call Madison, does that automatically sabotage

my relationship with Amy?

You got her number?

Yeah, Jake gave it to me.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Well, no one says you have to call her.

Yeah, I know, but I want to. That's the whole problem.

Yeah, little red guy.

Look, if you're not feeling happy

with the way things are in your life.

I understand mixing it up.

But what I don't understand is creating drama

just because you're bored.

What do you mean?

Well, there's a difference between thinking and doing.

'And the latter can be very self-destructive.'

'And you're too smart for that.'

- Do you love Amy? - Of course I do.

Okay, then don't just say it.

Know it and think about it every time you're just about

to do something stupid because all those temptations

they're always gonna be there.

And they're gonna come in a whole lot of forms

ex-girlfriends, potential girlfriends.

Snake, garden, apple.

I know where you're going with this.

So, don't forget it.

Because losing someone you forgot to appreciate

when you had 'em.

'That is just about the worst feeling in the world.'

Trust me.

Yeah.

Maybe Delia will want to call her or something.

Maybe.

- Thank you. - You bet.

[knocking on door]

Sorry, I don't want to interrupt the process.

Oh, no process. Pretty much just endless rambling.

[sighs]

- So, do you know? - Know what?

If you have it?

I know there's a test, I read all about it.

And I know that you don't have to be 18 to get it.

- What are you doing? - Hannah.

I know that you don't want me to see you differently but

you can't just reveal this enormous aspect of your life

to me and expect me to just ignore it.

I know how you get, Amy, I don't want you to turn

this into one of your projects.

You-you are not my project, Hannah.

You're my best friend.

And you are dealing with this unbelievably painful thing

all by yourself, and there's no reason for it.

You don't have to deal with this alone.

I wanna know what you know, I wanna understand.

I don't think this disease is something you ever understand.

'Not fully.'

But the fact that there is a blood test

that can tell you whether or not you have the gene.

I mean, that's huge.

It means there's at least potential for a cure.

Potentials are kind of complicated, you know.

God and Science and all that stuff.

But you've taken the test, right?

No.

And I'm not going to.

Okay, you know what?

I don't want you to think for a second that..

...I think I know how I would deal with this situation.

And I'm sure you've thought about it a gazillion times

but, the fact that there is an answer out there

waiting for you, inside of you.

Don't you want to know so you can just

take it off the table, move on?

What if I don't have the option to just take it off the table?

The way I was raised, there's this thing about destiny.

It's a given.

Our parents pass down this genetic makeup

that's like a symbol of them in some way.

A family.

So, you know, I got my mother's

eyes and her shoulders.

And my dad, well, maybe he gave me somethin' else.

But I, I don't want to think about that

every time I look at his picture, you know?

I just want to see him.

Besides..

You know, what difference does it make if I knew?

I'm gonna end up in the same place, anyway.

But at least you could be prepared.

I don't think anything could prepare me.

I mean, not for that.

[sighing]

But, thank you.

For what?

For taking this on.

Making me feel less lonely.

It's pretty much the best Christmas present

I've ever gotten.

Yeah?

So, I guess I can just take back the earrings.

[laughing]

[knocking on door]

- Hey. - Hey.

- Do we have plans? - No.

You okay?

No, actually, I'm not okay.

I-I am so sorry, Amy.

I'm sorry I..

Sorry for what?

Um..

Uh..

Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't actually I was, wa..

I mean, I was gonna tell you but I wasn't gonna

tell you exactly like this.

Tell me about what?

Um..

I lied to you, uh..

The other night when I said I was sick

I-I wasn't really sick.

I actually went to see Madison's band play

um, at this place.

You went to see Madison?

No, I mean, she wasn't there.

I-I-I didn't. I didn't see her.

What possible reason could you have to go see Madison?

None, no reason, and-and she wasn't there.

That's what I was saying.

I mean, you have to remember that part.

That part is very key.

Well, do you want to get back together with her?

No, no.

Then I don't understand, Ephram.

No, I don't, either. I swear.

It was just, I was just being stupid

and self-destructive for-for no reason whatsoever.

I-I-I feel terrible about it.

I totally regret it now.

I don't understand why, why wouldn't you tell me before

you went and tell me now?

Because I thought you knew. You were acting so weird.

But that's not why I told you.

I, I told you because, I mean, you know, I..

You know, it felt wrong not telling you

and I felt like I was maybe lying to you.

You were lying. You did lie.

I know, and, and I'm sorry.

You felt guilty because you knew what you did was wrong

so you told me because you didn't want to

feel guilty anymore, which means not only are you a liar

but you're a selfish liar.

- Amy.. - Don't.

I just, I thought it was better to be honest.

Well, you thought wrong.

Okay, but don't leave like this.

You know what, Ephram, don't call me.

I can't deal with this right now.

[door slams]

I need to get a big, mean dog

keep all the crazy doctors away.

- I need to talk to you. - You really don't.

I get it. You get it.

God, even Harold gets it.

I don't want you to give up on John.

Is that what you came here to say?

Go home, Andy.

If you talk to me in that crappy "I'm a doctor" voice

one more time, I'm gonna knee you in the nuts.

Look, I know I haven't been handling this very well.

The whole thing is very confusing.

But the one thing that I am very clear on

is that we have been helping John.

He's getting better. There's still a chance.

I took my chance.

I was comfortable here, you know?

It was quiet, I was lonely, but it was my life.

And after a while, it was bearable.

Boy, that being so numb that you can't laugh

is bearable or being so drunk you can't sleep

I could deal with it.

But you asked me to take a chance, so I did.

I-I followed you down this road of..

...hope and optimism and life.

And now I can't find my way back.

Why would you want to go back to a life that wasn't a life?

Because it was honorable.

The day he had a stroke, the day John went

I went with him.

'Cause that's what I was supposed to do.

And I got so busy..

...taking care of him and..

...and Charlie that I didn't even realize that I..

...had fallen out of love with him.

I didn't even think about it.

Until I met you.

But you do still love him.

You just, you're feeling lost right now, confused.

- I am. - And that's okay.

It's not okay, I know it's not.

I am not confused, Andy, not the way you are.

I'm not as confused as you think I am.

How confused do you think I think you are?

[instrumental music]

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