All language subtitles for Everwood.S03E07.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(Irv)
Previously on "Everwood.."

You would never
have gone for Ephram?

Not my type,
I mean, no offense, but..

...I'm actually more into guys
like your brother.

- Bright?
- Surprisingly shallow.

- Are you asking me out?
- I was trying to.

I'm sorry.

I think I'm in love
with somebody else.

- Do I know him?
- No.

Someone I went
to high school with.

["The Birds And The Bees"]

♪ Let me tell you about ♪

♪ The birds and the bees ♪

♪ And the flowers
and the trees ♪

♪ And the moon up above ♪

Nice voice.

Sound a little like Rod Stewart.

I'll take it.

So, what can I
do you for, Ephram?

Oh, I-I just, I just came
by to talk to Dr. Jake.

I don't have an appointment

but won't be more
than 15 seconds.

No problem. He just got in.

Go on back to Exam Room One and
I'll let him know you're here.

Thanks.

[door opens]

Ephram Brown.

Seems to be a pretty common
last name around here.

- Unless?
- Yeah. Son of.

You're Andy Brown's son.
No way!

Way.

[chuckles]
Your dad is the man.

I looked him up when I got here

and th-there are like 500,000

websites with his name in them.

He's like the Madonna
of medicine.

I'll be sure to pass that on.

Well, so what're you doing here?

I mean, I-I just came by to get

you know, tested for whatever,
sexually.

I mean, whatever you test for,
go ahead and test away.

Sure. We can do that.
No problem.

Uh, I just need you to, uh,
fill out some paperwork here.

It's just, uh, basic sexual
history stuff, if that's okay.

It's standard procedure.

Yeah, no, that's great.

Okay, here you go.

Well, so what's he like
as a dad? Is he cool?

Yeah, I mean, you know,
he's, uh, h-he's my dad.

When I was a resident at Cedars,
I met tons of famous people.

'And so you know,
y-you'd meet their kids'

'and they'd be
all kinds of crazy.'

'I just figured that anybody'

who is as successful
as your dad

would probably
be a lousy parent

but y-you seem pretty normal.

Yeah, it's asking me here if
I've ever had sex with animals?

Oh, yeah,
people do weird things.

Just write no.

- Unless?
- No!

- Yeah, definitely no.
- 'This is just kind of funny.'

I-I usually don't
get this excited.

I mean, I treated Spielberg--

Conventional intercourse,
would be?

- Uh, intercourse with a woman.
- Right.

Anyway, all the other residents,
they were totally curious.

You know, like what kind of DVDs
did Spielberg bring in?

What kind of books did he read?

I-I am done.

Oh, great.

Okay.

You know, on-on the unprotected
question, um..

Let's say like two times
you didn't have something

with you and-and once
...it broke.

I mean, what are your odds
of catching something?

Seeing as you're not
an intravenous drug user

and you've only had one partner,
I consider you

a low-risk candidate.

Great.

Okay, so you're not
currently sexually active?

Uh, no, I'm not. Uh..

But I'm hoping to be,
which is why I'm here.

Well, that's responsible of you.

I kinda gotta get going, so..

Of course.

Okay, well, we can do these
tests for you right now.

I'll run the whole panel
and we can have results for you

within in a few days.

'Back in a flash.'

[theme music]

[indistinct chatter]

How's it going, beautiful?

Ah, spare me the sweet talk

and tell me
you can do short order.

- That good, huh?
- 'Yeah.'

Hey, you've seen Andy
at all around today?

Uh, actually I haven't.
Why, is everything okay?

Yeah, yeah.
I just need to talk to him.

'So, hey, how's everything
going with the high school guy?'

You know, the one
you're in love with?

Oh. Oh, yeah.
It-it's going okay.

Just okay?

Well, what did he say when you
told him? Did he flip out?

Uh, not exactly.

What are you.. Jake?

- Talk to me. What happened?
- You're not allowed back here.

I know. I know, it's
a high security post.

- So, what's going on?
- Nothing's going on.

I haven't said anything
to him yet.

Don't look at me like that.
I just..

I haven't had a chance.
The right moment hasn't come up.

Well, it's never gonna
be the right moment.

You just have to do it.

Why is this
so important to you?

Because I just hate to see you

wasting your time pining.

That makes two of us

and that's just
a total waste of energy.

It's, it's just..

It's complicated.

He's a good friend.

And as cliche as this may sound

it's hard to cross that line,
if I say something

and he doesn't feel
the same way back

it could get all
weird between us

I mean, our whole friendship
is gonna change.

Well, it already has.
At least for you.

I mean, the fact that
you're not being honest

with him right now,
what kind of friendship is that?

And besides,
if you don't tell him

I'm gonna keep on
flirting with you.

Jake..

Okay.

I'm going to retreat now

to the unrestricted zone.

Don't be scared, Nina.

Just do it.

(Amy)
'The first times always hurts
but it gets easier, I promise.'

Oh, maybe I'm not
ready for this.

Let me just
try it one more time?

(Rose)
Amy, I'm leaving now.

I'll be home on Monday.
You have grandma's number?

Oh, my God! I think it's stuck
up inside my eyeball.

Oh, let me see. Let me see.
Oh, yeah, I see it.

It's up to the left.
Do you want me to grab it?

Are you sure
you should be doing this?

- We're fine, mom.
- I think I got it, I got it.

- Are you sure?
- I got it. Uh..

Mom, doesn't Hannah look
great without her glasses?

- Beautiful.
- Stop it.

You girls have fun.

Bye. Love you.

See, you're suffering now

but it's gonna be totally
worth it, I promise.

Like, remember the first time
you shaved your legs?

Completely traumatic,
but now it's like nothing.

No, it's still traumatic.

[sighs]

So, is Bright home?

He's, uh, working the restaurant
today, I think. Why?

Just curious.

What?

(Amy)
Okay, I don't want to sound like

I hate my brother right now

because I don't, but..

...you can't like him.

You think he's out of my league?

No, it's just better to be
on the same level

'as the person that you like,
in terms of experience.'

How far have you gone?

Oh, come on. It's not like I'm
the queen of experience either.

Trust me.

Um, I've never kissed a guy.

Okay.

Now you see,
Bright is at the other end

of the fooling-around spectrum.

I mean, there's a huge gap
between someone who's never

kissed a guy and someone who's

been with half of county.

It's like he's Tiger Woods and
you're playing miniature golf.

Only I've never even
held a club.

It's not all about
how far you've gone.

It has a lot to do
with attitude too.

I mean, Ephram and I

we take these things
very seriously.

We're comfortable
talking about them.

Bright doesn't take anything
seriously at all.

Do you really want
your first kiss

to be with someone like that?

Maybe.

Hannah, no.

Oh, my gosh,
just forget about my brother

and I promise that
I will make it my mission

to find you someone better.

And besides, with those
new contact lenses

I'm not even gonna
have to try.

Okay.

So, when's he getting home?

[giggles]

Are we alone?

Well, Dr. Abbott left
an hour ago, if that's who

you're referring to, unless it's
Louise you're worried about.

Yeah, she's pretty scrappy,
but I think I can take her.

So, hey. Uh, I just wanted
to run something by you.

How's Edna doing?

Um, great.
She's-she's been great.

Has she made you her
famous spiced cider yet?

Uh, I can't say that
I've had the cider. No.

Oh, that's too bad.
It's terrific.

You know she mills
the spices herself.

She has a mortar and pestle,
and she takes little--

Look, uh, a boy

a senior, 17 years old

came into my office today,
for an STD test.

Okay.

Okay, and..

I'm sure it's different in L.A.

I'm-I'm just curious
how it works here in Everwood.

Do you give them
free contraceptives?

It's your call, doctor.
You do whatever you want to do.

Well, yes, but since
the kid's a minor

I mean,
do you notify the parent?

Parent or parents?

Actually, I think he's being
raised by a single dad.

Well, in that case,
I would, uh

talk to him,
make sure that he's..

...being safe, and if anything
abnormal showed up in the--

No, I don't, I don't think
that's the issue here.

I think he's just doing them
as a precaution

you know, before.

Right.

Well, it seems like you're
covering all your bases.

Okay. Good.

I'm just trying to do
the right thing here, you know.

I don't wanna make any more
rookie mistakes in this town.

Thanks, Andy.

[doorbell rings]

Coming.

Ah, Dr. Brown.
Come in. Come in.

Your timing is impeccable.

Debra Winger's just
been diagnosed

with a malignant tumor.

Another serving
of shells and cheese

is simmering on the stovetop.

No, thanks. I just ate.

Well, Suit yourself.

- Harold, listen. Uh--
- 'You know I have to tell you.'

This whole bachelorhood thing
is not at all intolerable.

Do you realize
I have serving utensils

sitting in the sink unrinsed?

Unrinsed.

Now, do you have any idea
the kind of freedom that is?

Ephram and Amy
are gonna have sex.

What?

Jake came by my office
after work today.

Apparently, Ephram went
to see him for an STD test.

Just as a precaution
before they..

Before they..

'Well, I'm assuming
it hasn't happened yet'

at least that's what he thought.

Jake told you this?

'In a roundabout way, yes.'

And believe me, the irony
did not go unnoticed.

It made me feel kind of bad
about last year with Amy.

But, listen, that's not
important. The point is--

The point is,
they're going to have sex.

- Looks like it, yes.
- But how?

Oh, how did this happen?

Well, they're both seniors
in high school.

They're going off to college
next year.

It's not that unusual.
Ephram's already had sex.

'So he's probably over ready.'

- You think he's pressuring her?
- No, I don't think that.

And you don't think that.

I think my macaroni and cheese

is coming back on me,
that's what I think.

My God, whatever happened

to good old-fashioned
handholding?

A chaste kiss on the cheek

in the presence of a chaperone?

I don't know, Harold.

Maybe they went the way
of the poodle skirt.

And you had to go ahead
and build that

soundproof garage for Ephram.

Why not just buy them
their very own Motel 6?

Oh, calm down, Harold.
The reason I came here--

Oh, don't tell me
to calm down, Andy.

My daughter's about to be
deflowered by super sperm

over there, I'm not supposed
to have a reaction?

- You don't understand.
- Of course, I understand.

Ephram's my son. I'm just as
upset about this as you are.

No, you're not.
It's not the same with boys.

I had the talk with Bright last
year, lasted all of 15 minutes

I never even thought
about it again.

But Amy..

Amy, she's my little girl.

It's different, Andy.

You'll see, in ten years time,
when you're having this

conversation with Delia,
get back to me.

You're right.

I probably wouldn't have given
this a second thought if..

...everything hadn't happened
last year with--

With Madison. I know.

Listen, I'll talk to him.
Maybe..

Maybe I can convince him

to hold off for awhile.

And I'll talk to Amy too.

Perhaps I'll..

Oh, God!

Rose is out of town all weekend

visiting that wretched
mother of hers.

Do you think this can wait
until Monday?

Well, we can wait.

The question is,
could they wait?

Welcome to bachelorhood, Harold.

[sighs]

- Andy?
- Hmm.

Do you have any idea
what you're going to say?

Nope. You?

None whatsoever.

[piano music]

You in the middle of something?

Not anymore. What's up?

I wanna talk to you about sex.

Well, I don't know how much pot
you smoked in the 60's

but we had this conversation
already last year.

I know that.

We gonna have it again

with every girl I date
till I'm married?

Hopefully, this will
be my swan song.

But this one's
a little different.

This time I'm going
to tell you that

I don't think you should..

...have sex...with Amy.

That was supposed
to be a complete sentence.

Are you forbidding it?

Obviously, I can't control
the decisions that you make

but I, I would appreciate it

if you would hear me out.

I know that you
and Amy are in love

'and I know that
that feeling is very powerful.'

'It makes you want to push
the relationship forward'

but I would like you to think
about how it was for you

with Madison last year.

How did you know
I had sex with Madison?

Because at some point,
the relationship deepened.

It changed.

You changed.

And I saw it happen.

And I want you

to think about

how you felt after it happened

'and multiply those feelings
by a thousand'

'and that's how
it's gonna be for Amy.'

Yeah, I hear you,
and if-if I didn't think that

I was in this for the long haul,
then I might agree.

That's just it. You are in it
for the long haul.

I can see that.

Which is why you can
afford to take your time.

I mean, how's it going for
you two right now?

Great.
We're the best we've ever been.

Well, sex changes that.

'Forever.'

'Dynamics..'

'...the focus
of the relationship.'

'I mean, you two have worked'

'so hard for so long
to be together'

and to be happy.

You willing to risk that?

Not when you put it like that.

'Look, I know that
sex has a way'

of feeling like the prize,
especially at your age

'and I understand.'

'All I'm asking for you to do'

'is to just...take your time.'

I just want you to, uh..

...enjoy getting to that.

It's worth it.

- Impressive.
- Yeah?

Yeah, I mean, definitely
one of your better ones.

It hasn't come up yet,
but, uh, you know

if it does, I'll be sure
to think about it.

[instrumental music]

Crudites?

What is all of this?

High tea.

Try the spread,
it's wonderful.

No, I'm good.

Dad, you realize
the last time

that we had a tea party,
I was, like, four.

Yes. Yes.

And do you remember
those tea parties?

How we used to make those little
cakes in your Easy Bake Oven?

Those were delicious,
weren't they?

- Um, yeah.
- Yes.

But remember how if we
took them out prematurely..

...they wouldn't be ready.

Hmm?

Because, honey,
it wasn't time yet.

I'm-I'm talking about sex, Amy.

I know that you and Ephram
have discussed it.

What?
No. N-no we haven't.

- Of course, you have.
- No we haven't, dad.

Come now, we should be
able to engage

in an honest discourse
on this subject

without falling prey
to the typical flusterings.

I am a hip dad.

For the record,
you can't say you're hip.

It kind of goes against
actually being hip.

Is mom home yet?

Oh, we do not need your mother.

Here, have a scone.

- Listen to me.
- Dad--

Just..

'I know that you and Ephram
aren't kids anymore.'

You're teenagers
with all of those hormones

coursing through your bodies.

Why wouldn't you be
thinking about sex?

I guess it' s not that I'm-I'm
not thinking about it. I just--

'Oh, honey, it's only natural.'

What with the media
bombarding you

with suggestive imagery
every chance it gets.

Movies, television.

'Not to mention those
Victoria's Secret commercials'

which leave very little
to the imagination.

And I'm sure that

many of your peers
are even trying it out.

- Yeah, some of them.
- Lots of them.

And I'm assuming
you're still on the...pill?

Yes, but only because
Aunt Linda said

it wasn't good to go
on and off of it.

So I just...stayed on.

Unless, maybe,
subconsciously I..

...stayed on for Ephram and I.

You probably did.

Because you wanted your..

...first time to be
with someone that

you're in love with,
and you felt comfortable with.

Yes, that's true.

See, I understand these things.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I've just avoided talking

to Ephram about this,
because I'm..

I don't know.

Scared of my sexuality.

No.
W-what's that now? You..

Dad, you're probably dead on.

I'm probably a lot closer
to this than I thought.

Maybe it is time I start talking
to Ephram about this stuff.

Wait, so you truly
have not actually--

'Dad, this is fantastic.'

You really clarified
a lot of stuff for me.

And you were right, we didn't
need mom at all for this.

[door opens]

Hannah, hey.
Uh, we don't open until 5:30.

Yeah, I know.
I'm actually not here to eat.

I can't remember
if I told you or not

but I'm living at Nina's

and she's got
a whole other person

to feed now that I'm there.

And, uh, she works
so hard already

so I was thinking
maybe I could help her out.

And I know you seem to really
enjoy working here, so--

- What, you want a job?
- Yeah.

Are you okay? Do you have
something in your eye?

No. Well, technically yes.

I'm just having
some blinking issues.

Oh.

So listen, uh,
my manager's not here right now

and I'm on the clock, so..

Uh, okay.

But, uh, I can get you
an application

if you just hang
for a little while.

'I gotta do a few things.'

Sure, I can hang.

Alright.

You're really good at that.

Setting up really fast.

Eh. I don't think
about it anymore.

You get used to it, you know.

Well, it's obvious
you're a natural.

Really coordinated
and everything.

Uh, so you want
some restaurant lingo?

So when you sit down with Mikey
you'll sound more professional.

Sure.

This, what I'm doing right here

it's called marrying
the ketchups.

Because you're marrying
two ketchups?

Exactly.

Do you, Mr. Heinz

take you, Miss,
uh, Generic Tomato Paste

to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

There must be a lot
of inbreeding, huh?

'Cause they're both ketchups.

You know, they're keeping it
in the family.

I'm sorry. That was stupid.

Oh, no. No, I get it.
It took me a while.

I like it.
You're twisted.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

Gotta got that

Ephram smart thing going on.

So, uh, what are you
doing right now?

Now?

'Cause I am off.

And I was thinking about going
to grab a movie. Wanna come?

Yeah. Uh, yeah,
I can definitely come. Sure.

- Then let's hit it.
- Okay.

Oh, wait a minute.

You wanted that
application, right?

- Right, yes.
- One second.

[sighs]

[knocking on door]

Hello?

- Andy?
- Nina!

There's my lovely
next-door neighbor.

'You know what
you are looking at?'

You are looking at one hell
of a father-son communicator.

- Is that so?
- 'Mm-hmm.'

I had a very nice chat
with Ephram this morning

and, uh, let's just say that
I was extremely effective.

That sounds like a good enough
reason for a night on the town

which is why I came by.

Well, I-I have a sitter

for tonight,
she offered to work.

I think she was just
looking for an excuse

to get away from her boyfriend,
but I just heard about

this new tapas place,
sounds really good.

You get a whole bunch
of little tastes.

Oh, very Spanish.
Sounds great.

What time should we go?

Um, actually
I made a reservation

for 8 o'clock, so, uh?

A reservation?

Uh, yeah.

Wow, I haven't heard that term
in over a year.

Must be pretty swanky.

Yeah, well, it's just new.

So, uh, so I'll come
by around 7:30?

- Yeah, perfect.
- Okay, see you at 7:30.

So, I had sort of an interesting
conversation with my dad today.

Yeah?

Yeah, apparently he thinks
we're having sex.

Or that we're thinking
about it anyways.

That's a little weird.

I had the exact same

conversation with my dad today.

Really?

I guess it's in the air.

How long ago did you guys
have this talk?

A few hours ago.

The funny thing is,
he just sort of assumed that

we've been thinking about it,
wh-which I haven't really

but the fact that he was
made me think that

maybe we should be.

Edna?

Ooh, I bring up sex and
you bring up my grandma.

Okay, so this is not a big deal,
so don't, like, freak out

or anything, but I went and,
uh, saw Dr. Jake the other day

just for, you know, some routine
check-ups and stuff.

And I decided that I,
I should probably get tested.

So I did, and Edna must've
seen my chart

and told our dads

which is why we're both
getting the talk.

Oh, wait, you went to get
tested for, like, HIV and stuff?

Yeah, it seemed like the
responsible thing to do, so..

Why didn't you tell me?

Uh, I don't know.

I guess I thought that
they were my tests

and they didn't really have
anything to do with you.

Okay.

I mean, I took
the tests for you.

I just figured I'd wait until
I had a clean bill of health

before I got you involved.

That's romantic.

Some girls get flowers
and I get test results.

'No, I'm serious, Ephram.'

The second that I started
thinking about this

I talked to you about it,
like four minutes ago.

But not only did you
not talk to me about it

you got a doctor's appointment

'and got blood taken and--'

And you're making this
into a way bigger deal

than it needs to be, okay.

What, the getting tested
or the having sex?

Either. Both.

I mean, it doesn't have
to be this massive.

Right, because you're such
an experienced sex God that

our first time is just whatever.

- No, it's not my first time.
- But it's our first time.

Thanks for reminding me
though because

you know, you getting
an STD test wasn't enough.

- Amy?
- 'You know what, Ephram?'

It doesn't even matter
because this whole thing

has just made me realize
that we are not even

close to being ready, anyways.

Way to go, dad!
Almost had me this time.

What are you talking about?

I know you know that
I went to get tested

which is why you gave me
that load of crap

about holding off with Amy.

It's not a load of crap.

As if you had no idea.

As if you're just
Mr. Father-Knows-Best.

Alright, I knew.

But you clearly didn't want

to discuss it with me.

Most of the time you just
say the stupidest crap

which really pisses me off,
but every once in a while

you actually say something that
makes sense like, this morning

I was actually thinking about
taking your advice.

Look, the fact that I knew about

your doctor's appointment
doesn't change our conversation.

Yes, it does.
It completely does.

Because it came from
a totally false place.

Motivated by some personal
agenda which I don't get.

Well, what don't you get?

Why you care? Seriously, I..

W-why are you jumping
through hoops

trying to keep me
from having sex?

Maybe if it was my first time

I get it, but it's not.

Sex has been had, so

why are you freaking out now?

Because..

...with you and Amy

it's, it's much more serious.

- That's why I-I--
- I don't care.

Alright, forget it.

Hey.

'Yeah, if I wanna have sex'

I'm gonna have sex

and I'm not gonna
talk to you about it.

I'll just cancel
that reservation.

- Amy.
- Hi, grandma.

You totally ruined my life.

Well, this should be fun.

(Amy)
'I mean, it is obviously
not all your fault'

I just don't understand
why you would go to my dad

instead of coming to me,
especially after everything

'we went through last year.'

Come to you about what?

You're making me dizzy, private.

I know that you know that Ephram
went to get an STD test

from Dr. Jake and I know that
you told my dad

who told Dr. Brown, or you told
Dr. Brown who told my dad.

I'm not quite sure
of the order here.

Okay.

The point is that now

the entire population
of Everwood knows

that Ephram wanted to have sex
with me except for me.

So you didn't know
he was getting tested?

- No!
- Okay. Okay.

I'm just trying to break
this down to basics.

So you're upset that
Ephram didn't tell you?

I'm upset because..

...because this whole thing
is just embarrassing.

Farting in a public restroom
is embarrassing.

That's not what's
got you bugged.

So if you're gonna throw a hissy
fit at me at least be honest.

I feel like an idiot.

I-I've just been trying
to convince myself

that Ephram and I are on
the same page with this stuff.

Like sex and everything.

I mean, I-I knew that

he slept with Madison.

He told me that,
but I just

thought that maybe if
I didn't think about that

that I could pretend
like it didn't happen.

Well, why does it matter
that it happened?

Because...how am I gonna
live up to that?

What?

Oh, Amy.

'Oh, grandma, try to be a little
unbiased here, seriously.'

I mean, the girl's like
four years older than me.

Clearly way more experienced,
a hell of a lot prettier.

Now watch it. That's my favorite
granddaughter you're insulting.

I'm serious though.

I mean...I just try to imagine

that Ephram and I
were in the same universe

and the bottom line is,
we're not.

You're in love.

That's the only universe
that counts.

Listen to me.

Sex isn't just an act

you learn how to do once.

It's different
with every person.

'And-and every time
you embark on that journey'

with someone new, it's scary.

No matter how many times
you've done it before.

Heck, the first time
Irv and I--

Ooh, grandma, no.

Sorry.

But you get what I'm saying.

It's alright to be
afraid or nervous.

'It just means
it's important to you.'

Yeah.

I guess I don't fully
believe you yet

but I appreciate the thought.

Thank you.

Edna?

You ever discuss
a patient's business

outside the office again

you'll be begging
for a court-martial.

How did you find out--

I'm like God, that's how.
I know all.

The kid is a minor,
and to tell you the truth

he looked kind of freaked out

sitting in my office
all by himself.

If I were his parent,
I would want to know.

You don't get to make that call.

What you did was unprofessional!

If you're talking
confidentiality

I didn't mention
his name, not once.

And I gotta say, I-I still
don't know how you--

Pay attention, because
it might be complicated

for your California
pea-sized brain to understand.

Ephram Brown, son of Dr. Brown

goes out with Amy Abbott

daughter of Dr. Abbott

who happens to be my son

which makes her
my granddaughter.

Wow!

- It's like a Greek play.
- That's right.

So if you ever do
anything like this again

I'll buy a broach and
stab you in the eyes myself.

Hey, Edna.

How come you never make me
your spiced cider?

So, how are you liking
this place?

Nina treating you alright?

Yeah, Nina's great.

I've met a lot of really
nice people.

Uh, you mean my sister
and her permanent appendage.

And you.

So, hey, good luck
with that application.

If you need any help
with the restaurant lingo

give me a buzz.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Oh.

I'm sorry,
did I lean in wrong?

No. No. It's just, uh..

This, this isn't that
kind of night, Hannah.

I-I know, I'm trying to make
it that kind of night.

I like you, Bright.

Yeah, I know. I kind of figured
that out from before.

Oh, you.. Okay.

Hey, look, I'm sorry. I hope I
didn't lead you on or anything.

No. No. No, you didn't.
It's fine.

Although, actually
you kinda did.

I mean, if you knew that I..

Why would you do all that stuff?

We just went
to the movies, Hannah.

It's not like I tried
to rip your shirt off.

No. Hey. Look-look.
Hey, you're right, okay.

I flirted with you,
but I-I don't know why.

It's just a natural reflex
with me, and--

And what?

And I don't know,
I guess part of me

liked having the company.

I mean, look, I'm really
messed up right now.

My life is nothing
like how I pictured it.

You know, all my friends
are off to college.

And Ephram,
h-he's my best friend.

We're not even
talking right now.

You coming in the restaurant
today, I mean, you were looking

up to me and treating me
like a movie star or something.

It made me feel good.

I haven't felt like
that in a long time.

Maybe you don't deserve to.

[door slams]

(Andy)
'It's like every time
we take two steps forward'

we-we're taking 30 steps back.

Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad.
Maybe 29 steps, tops.

Well, and obviously,
it doesn't matter.

He's gonna do
what he wants to do..

There's nothing
I can do about it.

But there never was anything
you could've done about it.

I mean, I'm sure that
it was hell of a speech

but...you didn't really think
that you were gonna stop them

from having sex, did you?

Why is that so crazy?

I mean, when did we get to this
point where kids just have sex

and we're supposed
to be okay with it?

At least you know that
Ephram is being responsible

and you guys did cover
that stuff last year.

Please. Last year I had
my head in the sand.

I was so busy trying to
be his friend, his buddy.

I think I actually told him
to go and have fun

'if you can believe that.'

Well, it doesn't sound like
the worst advice.

Well, trust me, it is.

You know, you can only pull off
that friend routine for so long

before being a parent
catches up with you

and you start to think about

the ten million things
that can go wrong.

But you can't think
about that stuff.

I mean, you can,
but it'll just drive you nuts.

If I worried about
every possible concussion

Sam might get when he hits
the monkey bars, I'd go insane.

Well, monkey bars
are very dangerous too, Nina.

I could tell you stories.

Please don't.

But that's the thing, Andy.

There, there comes a point

where you just have to
trust your kid

and have faith in the universe
that they're gonna be okay.

Yeah, well..

I don't have that
kind of faith.

Well, I do.

And I keep a little
extra for you.

So don't worry, okay?

I don't know what I'd do without
you, Nina. I really don't.

[sighs]
Look at you in that outfit.

I can't believe I messed up
your evening tonight.

Ah, it's okay.
I can always wear it again.

Yeah, but you look so pretty.

And I could've been
your wingman tonight.

I mean, I bet
there are thousands

of single guys at that place.

Well, you know what,
I'll make it up to you.

Take a rain check, okay?

Sure. Rain check.

- 'Hey, Bright.'
- Look, I already know, okay?

'So don't bothering
laying into me.'

You can't make me feel
any worse than I already do.

Umm, hello, guilty conscience.

'I just came to tell you that'

I took the trash out
so you don't have to.

Oh. Thanks.

So, what'd you do?

Nothing.

Get into another fight with dad?

Mom? Ephram?

Look, I'm not gonna talk to you
about this, okay?

- So, go.
- Okay, fine.

I don't really have
the head space to listen

to what you have to say anyways.

Good.

But let me just give you
two seconds of advice.

No, I'm serious,
and this is coming from a girl

who's done therapy, yoga
and antidepressants

so I know what
I'm talking about.

You can't keep shutting
people out, Bright.

I mean, I know you think you can

because you think
that you'll keep

finding new doors to open

but the fact is,
they're not there.

They're actually are
a limited number of doors

and an extremely limited
number of great people

who really, really care.

So just work it out
with whoever.

If there's a thousand
people pissed at you

then just...start with one.

And start soon, because
it's really hard losing people.

But it's even harder
getting them back.

That's it.

[Hannah sobbing]

Hannah, I think I am gonna
take that blue one back.

'Honey, is something wrong?'

No. No. I'm fine.

Something happen at home?
Did your mom call?

Oh, no, no, it's..

It's nothing,
it's just stupid boy stuff.

[scoffs]
Well, there is nothing stupid
about boy stuff.

You know how they say if you

put yourself out there,
like really risk something

like your heart or something

then it's supposed to work out?

Who says that?

- You know, movies, Shakespeare.
- Oh, right.

Yeah, well,
it's definitely not true.

And personally, I think
it is a very bad idea

putting yourself out there,
you're, like, unwise.

So, I'm guessing that you
put your heart on the line

and you didn't get the outcome
you were hoping for?

I just thought you know,
if I..

...if I got contact lenses
and did my hair the right way

then...maybe I'd be that girl
that guys like back.

But I'm not that girl.

I'm never gonna be that girl.

Oh! And I never should've
told him that I liked him. Oh!

Him who?
Never mind, it doesn't matter.

But, honey, there's nothing
wrong with what you did.

Yes, there is, because
he doesn't like me back

and now I just look like
this enormous idiot.

No, you don't.

[scoffs]
Actually, you look

incredibly brave to me.

'It takes guts to tell someone
how you feel about them.'

And you know what

it almost doesn't matter
what they say back.

Just the fact that you
had the courage to say it

means that you are the kind
of girl that gets the guy.

Not all the guys, the right guy.

The one who's gonna appreciate
how rare you are.

[sniffles]

It's just...I liked liking him.

It was fun to think about him.

'It was a fun dream
to go to sleep, too, you know?'

I guess false hope is better
than no hope at all, right?

[sighs]
Shakespeare, what a hack!

[laughs]
Yep, I say that
we skip dinner tonight

and go straight to dessert,
what do you think?

[chuckles]
I like it.

Oh. I almost forgot.

Somebody left this by the front
door. I assume, it's for you.

Ketchup children.

What does that mean?

Consolation prize.

[instrumental music]

You know, these crumpets
are delicious.

I've never actually
had a crumpet.

Hear me out, Brown.
I've researched thoroughly.

Several well-respected programs

accept new students
at the semester break.

And over for one
is an exceptional music program.

I don't think that's the answer.

Okay, option two.

We devise a system
whereby at no time

are these two left unsupervised.

Did you know,
there is a LoJack device

specifically designed
for people?

People on parole...from prison.

But the technology exists.

We decide how to use it.

It's over, isn't it?

Not necessarily.

They're teenagers.

There's a very good chance
they'll screw

this relationship up before

they even get to the sex.

Here's to praying.

(Rose)
'Hello. Anybody home?'

- Rose?
- 'Harold?'

Thank God.

Never leave me alone again.

(Rose)
'Oh, it's good
to see you too, dear.'

(Harold)
'We need to buy locks, Rose.'

Lots of locks
and a security system.

Preferably something
with a motion detector.

- 'Was there a break in?'
- Not yet.

- Hi, Rose. Welcome back.
- Oh, Dr. Brown.

I don't know what we have
in the way of food

but you're welcome
to stay for dinner.

No. No, I'm fine.

- I'll see you tomorrow, Harold.
- Yes. Yes.

Let me tell you, Rose.

You can not imagine the kind

of weekend that I've had.

'Oh, well, let me tell you'

'my mother was
in fine form as well.'

You know, if we went to see
another movie we could spend

another two hours
avoiding a conversation?

Yeah, I was thinking
a triple feature.

It could be like
the whole week never happened.

No, I'm glad this week
happened, Ephram.

I'm not necessarily a fan
of how it happened, just..

Pick a hand.

What?

Pick a hand.

That one.

What is this?

An apology letter,
how very formal of you.

Your test results.

I wanted to try to make them

as romantic as possible.

You know, pretty street,
starry night.

And you're clean.

Yeah, that wasn't supposed
to be a surprise.

Look, Amy..

I need you to know that if..

...you know, we do

I mean, it's gonna be
a-a big deal for me, as well.

It's not something
I'm-I'm gonna take lightly

because...you're not somebody
that I take lightly.

I know.

[instrumental music]

You, uh..

You wanna see what
was in my other hand?

Oh, my God!

I was, uh, I was actually,
uh, looking

to try and find you a bracelet

and...then I saw this

and it just reminded me of you.

The circle,
it's like...infinite.

It's kinda how I feel
about us, so..

[sighs]
I'm.. I'm shocked.

Here, allow me.

[music continues]

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

Well, I guess it's a good thing

I stayed on the pill.

You-you are?

Since when?

Last year.

For Tommy.

You went on the pill
for that creep?

Yeah. So?

Yeah, I mean, I mean, you knew
when you went on the pill

that nothing was
gonna happen, right?

Are you feeling threatened?

(Ephram)
No. I'm fine.

(Amy)
You're really good.

[theme music]