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1
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,966
♪ ♪
2
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,660
♪ ♪
3
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,673
D'oh!
4
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:11,780
Oh!
5
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,692
Will you take us
to Mount Splashmore?
6
00:01:37,693 --> 00:01:39,569
Will you take us
to Mount Splashmore?
7
00:01:39,570 --> 00:01:41,070
Will you
take us to Mount Splashmore?
8
00:01:41,071 --> 00:01:42,989
Will you take us
to Mount Splashmore?
9
00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:45,992
You're here,
you're just in a long line.
10
00:01:45,993 --> 00:01:48,369
- Thank you.
- We appreciate it.
11
00:01:50,372 --> 00:01:51,499
Points.
12
00:01:53,959 --> 00:01:55,793
Follow me.
13
00:01:55,794 --> 00:01:58,671
- Where?
- Points.
14
00:01:58,672 --> 00:02:01,090
Points, points,
excuse me, points.
15
00:02:01,091 --> 00:02:03,177
- Coming through, points.
- My visor!
16
00:02:05,846 --> 00:02:08,973
No, Dad. No.
We've been in line for an hour.
17
00:02:08,974 --> 00:02:10,683
Hmm, you have a point.
18
00:02:10,684 --> 00:02:12,685
Points!
19
00:02:15,898 --> 00:02:17,857
Will you please explain
where you're taking us,
20
00:02:17,858 --> 00:02:19,442
and don't just say "points."
21
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,778
Okay. Over a lifetime
of credit card debt,
22
00:02:21,779 --> 00:02:24,756
and paying for credit card debt
with worse credit card debt,
23
00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:27,301
this family has two million
hotel rewards
24
00:02:27,302 --> 00:02:30,888
loyalty... points,
which we can only use
25
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:34,767
at the nearest
Second Best Western Motel.
26
00:02:34,768 --> 00:02:37,813
Oh, Dad,
the points expire at midnight.
27
00:02:38,605 --> 00:02:40,022
No worries.
28
00:02:40,023 --> 00:02:42,900
If I average 80 miles an hour
for 14 straight hours,
29
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,570
- we'll make it.
- I love you, Homer.
30
00:02:45,571 --> 00:02:46,904
Step on it, Dad!
31
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:48,823
And I'll field this call
from Grampa.
32
00:02:48,824 --> 00:02:50,741
Connection failed.
33
00:02:50,742 --> 00:02:51,909
But my liver!
34
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,661
So where exactly are we going?
35
00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:55,288
Niagara Falls.
36
00:02:55,289 --> 00:02:57,165
-Eh.
-Meh.
-Paid for by points.
37
00:02:57,166 --> 00:02:59,792
Points! Points! Points!
38
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:03,881
I spy a closed-down Toys "R" Us.
39
00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:10,261
I spy a bankrupt
Sears and Roebuck.
40
00:03:10,262 --> 00:03:12,263
- D'oh!
- I don't know about this game.
41
00:03:12,264 --> 00:03:14,223
I find it a little...
42
00:03:14,224 --> 00:03:17,685
Circuit City overrun
by wild dogs.
43
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:21,189
Booyah!
44
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,691
How can you booyah
this country's decline?
45
00:03:23,692 --> 00:03:25,151
Cheer up, honey.
46
00:03:25,152 --> 00:03:28,404
We're headed to the one place
that can never decline,
47
00:03:28,405 --> 00:03:33,451
because it was never that great:
Upstate New York.
48
00:03:33,452 --> 00:03:35,496
♪ ♪
49
00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:43,920
♪ Start watching Fox News ♪
50
00:03:43,921 --> 00:03:48,174
♪ Stop watching your weight ♪
51
00:03:48,175 --> 00:03:52,428
♪ There is no fancy part of it ♪
52
00:03:52,429 --> 00:03:56,182
♪ Upstate New York ♪
53
00:03:56,183 --> 00:03:59,936
♪ They're fond of their booze ♪
54
00:03:59,937 --> 00:04:04,315
♪ Hot wing sauce is great ♪
55
00:04:04,316 --> 00:04:08,069
♪ I'm gonna clog
my heart in it ♪
56
00:04:08,070 --> 00:04:12,198
♪ Upstate New York ♪
57
00:04:12,199 --> 00:04:16,702
♪ I want to sleep in,
in a city ♪
58
00:04:16,703 --> 00:04:20,164
♪ That never wakes ♪
59
00:04:20,165 --> 00:04:23,501
♪ And find I'm fitting
right in ♪
60
00:04:23,502 --> 00:04:25,711
♪ One of the gang ♪
61
00:04:25,712 --> 00:04:28,506
♪ Par for the course ♪
62
00:04:28,507 --> 00:04:32,677
♪ The Kodak plant closed ♪
63
00:04:32,678 --> 00:04:37,807
♪ But I'm longing to stay ♪
64
00:04:37,808 --> 00:04:41,727
♪ And go on disability ♪
65
00:04:41,728 --> 00:04:46,524
♪ In Upstate New York ♪
66
00:04:46,525 --> 00:04:50,152
♪ Can't make it anywhere ♪
67
00:04:50,153 --> 00:04:53,865
♪ But I can make it there ♪
68
00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:58,035
♪ I love you so ♪
69
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:01,665
♪ Upstate New York. ♪
70
00:05:03,709 --> 00:05:07,296
Benedict Arnold
fought here, baby.
71
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:13,009
You want a quarter
for the binoculars?
72
00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:14,302
I guess.
73
00:05:14,303 --> 00:05:16,804
Those tourist binoculars
are never that strong.
74
00:05:22,102 --> 00:05:24,270
Now, that's worth a quarter.
75
00:05:24,271 --> 00:05:26,898
So magnificent.
76
00:05:29,192 --> 00:05:31,235
Hey, Lis, want to bounce?
77
00:05:31,236 --> 00:05:34,780
Not till I've soaked in
the full majesty of the falls.
78
00:05:34,781 --> 00:05:37,117
And done.
79
00:05:37,951 --> 00:05:40,786
Take that, blue boy.
80
00:05:40,787 --> 00:05:42,413
Eat rubber, red head.
81
00:05:42,414 --> 00:05:45,916
I can't believe the kids
are already bored with the view.
82
00:05:45,917 --> 00:05:47,335
Mmm.
83
00:05:47,336 --> 00:05:49,337
While the kids
are bouncing around,
84
00:05:49,338 --> 00:05:52,340
why don't we do
a little bouncing, too?
85
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,553
That's even more romantic
than what you said at Fort Dix.
86
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,726
Whoa!
87
00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:08,607
Let's see, the angle of rebound
equals the angle of incidence.
88
00:06:11,735 --> 00:06:16,239
Ooh, I forgot to account
for surface irregularities.
89
00:06:19,326 --> 00:06:21,786
Okay, time to take a sick day.
90
00:06:21,787 --> 00:06:23,663
Oh, God, oh, God,
oh, God, oh God!
91
00:06:23,664 --> 00:06:25,790
Ooh, a rainbow.
92
00:06:25,791 --> 00:06:27,500
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
93
00:06:34,716 --> 00:06:36,468
Where am I?
94
00:06:37,594 --> 00:06:40,721
Oh... handsome, horsey.
95
00:06:40,722 --> 00:06:42,264
Am I in heaven?
96
00:06:42,265 --> 00:06:44,767
Even better, eh?
You're in beautiful Canada...
97
00:06:44,768 --> 00:06:48,729
is what I'd say if Canadians
weren't too modest to brag.
98
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:49,980
But we are.
99
00:06:49,981 --> 00:06:51,941
Oh...
100
00:06:51,942 --> 00:06:54,902
I have a young girl who may--
I repeat, may--
101
00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:56,737
need medical attention, eh?
102
00:06:56,738 --> 00:06:58,949
I repeat: eh.
103
00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:11,252
Ms. Simpson,
you're a very lucky lady.
104
00:07:11,253 --> 00:07:13,754
Oh, sweetie, thank God,
thank God.
105
00:07:15,632 --> 00:07:19,260
Your daughter's fine,
but I recommend a five-day stay.
106
00:07:19,261 --> 00:07:21,804
Of course, of course.
We'll take out a third mortgage.
107
00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:27,143
Sir, you're in Canada now,
where your health care is free.
108
00:07:27,144 --> 00:07:29,687
Free health care.
Why can't America do that?
109
00:07:29,688 --> 00:07:31,230
She's delirious, Doc.
110
00:07:31,231 --> 00:07:34,066
America can't pay for health
care and give corporations
111
00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:36,777
the tax breaks
they so desperately need.
112
00:07:36,778 --> 00:07:38,195
I'm not delirious.
113
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,948
In fact,
I've never felt more protected.
114
00:07:40,949 --> 00:07:42,533
Not like back home.
115
00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:45,911
Ooh, hang on. Did you just say
you don't feel safe
116
00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:47,204
in your home country?
117
00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:49,206
Why should she feel safe?
118
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:52,752
In America, the great El Barto
roams the streets.
119
00:07:52,753 --> 00:07:55,379
So, let me get this straight:
you're afraid of America.
120
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:56,797
Is that right, young lady?
121
00:07:56,798 --> 00:07:59,425
-Well, there's
voter suppression...
-Shh.
122
00:07:59,426 --> 00:08:02,303
-...and utter disregard
for the environment...
-Shh.
123
00:08:02,304 --> 00:08:05,139
...a president
who's such a son of a...
-Shh.
124
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:08,267
Oh, save that language
for the lower 48.
125
00:08:08,268 --> 00:08:11,937
No, I'm telling you.
Our president really is a god...
126
00:08:11,938 --> 00:08:14,232
- Shush.
- We know.
127
00:08:17,486 --> 00:08:20,571
Lisa, as you're clearly a victim
of political persecution
128
00:08:20,572 --> 00:08:23,365
who fears for her life,
I must keep you in Canada
129
00:08:23,366 --> 00:08:26,702
where you'll be safe and
assigned your own hockey team.
130
00:08:26,703 --> 00:08:29,789
Please not Ottawa,
please not Ottawa.
131
00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:32,166
Yeah, I'm, I'm so sorry.
132
00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:34,543
You can't keep my daughter.
133
00:08:34,544 --> 00:08:37,338
She's the heart and soul
of this family.
134
00:08:37,339 --> 00:08:39,465
- Hey. What am I?
- You're the spleen.
135
00:08:39,466 --> 00:08:41,842
We don't know what it does
and we don't care.
136
00:08:41,843 --> 00:08:43,135
My hands are tied, ma'am.
137
00:08:43,136 --> 00:08:45,221
She's in the asylum
pipeline now.
138
00:08:45,222 --> 00:08:47,264
You can't separate us
from our child.
139
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,974
That's America's thing.
140
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:50,476
Well, then you leave us
no choice.
141
00:08:50,477 --> 00:08:54,146
We have to deport you,
Canadian-style.
142
00:08:54,147 --> 00:08:56,191
Great. Come on. Bring it in,
bring it in.
143
00:09:02,572 --> 00:09:05,366
Lisa, are they taking care
of you? Are you eating okay?
144
00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:07,034
Look, I'm fine, eh.
145
00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:08,577
We're losing her.
146
00:09:08,578 --> 00:09:09,703
Mom, I'm okay.
147
00:09:09,704 --> 00:09:11,497
They put me
in a nice foster home
148
00:09:11,498 --> 00:09:13,249
with Gord and Francette here.
149
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:14,708
Enough with the accent.
150
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:15,960
Okay.
151
00:09:15,961 --> 00:09:18,838
Lisa, where should we go
for dinner tonight?
152
00:09:18,839 --> 00:09:20,923
Harvey's or Swiss Chalet?
153
00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,424
How about Mr. Submarine?
154
00:09:22,425 --> 00:09:24,218
Or Earls?
155
00:09:24,219 --> 00:09:25,469
Don't forget Humpty's.
156
00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:29,765
Mmm, restaurant chains
I never heard of.
157
00:09:32,435 --> 00:09:35,145
Homer, you take Bart back
to Springfield.
158
00:09:35,146 --> 00:09:37,690
I am going for my daughter.
159
00:09:37,691 --> 00:09:40,568
Local smarty-pants Lisa Simpson
has been abducted
160
00:09:40,569 --> 00:09:43,737
by America's Ned Flanders
to the north, Canada.
161
00:09:43,738 --> 00:09:46,240
Here in Springfield,
reactions to Lisa's loss
162
00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:49,076
have been loud and uninformed.
163
00:09:49,077 --> 00:09:51,036
Lisa was the moral center
of this town.
164
00:09:51,037 --> 00:09:52,788
Now it's Barney,
who knows nothing.
165
00:09:52,789 --> 00:09:56,375
Except it is the purpose of
government to see that not only
166
00:09:56,376 --> 00:09:59,128
the legitimate interests
of the few are protected,
167
00:09:59,129 --> 00:10:01,714
but that the rights of the many
are conserved.
168
00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:04,925
- Shut your gibber-hole.
- Ow!
169
00:10:04,926 --> 00:10:08,470
Ugh! She was the only one in
this band worth a tinker's damn.
170
00:10:08,471 --> 00:10:11,098
Oh, come on.
171
00:10:11,099 --> 00:10:12,516
You know you all stink.
172
00:10:12,517 --> 00:10:15,644
We've been working on the same
song for 30 years.
173
00:10:15,645 --> 00:10:17,104
♪ ♪
174
00:10:17,105 --> 00:10:20,024
Can you fall in love
with a country?
175
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:23,944
The science textbooks
acknowledge climate change.
176
00:10:23,945 --> 00:10:26,238
Class, let's give
an enthusiastic
177
00:10:26,239 --> 00:10:28,866
but quiet hello to Lisa Simpson.
178
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:30,367
Hello.
179
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:33,037
As an American,
I'd like to apologize
180
00:10:33,038 --> 00:10:34,538
for something
our president said about
181
00:10:34,539 --> 00:10:37,207
your wonderfully progressive
prime minister.
182
00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:39,919
Is there any way I can send
a note? Or maybe I could...
183
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,087
- Right this way.
- Oh.
184
00:10:42,088 --> 00:10:44,131
Hmm!
185
00:10:44,132 --> 00:10:46,133
- Mr. Trudeau?
- Yes, Lisa?
186
00:10:46,134 --> 00:10:47,801
Oh.
187
00:10:47,802 --> 00:10:51,639
I am really, really sorry about
what our president called you.
188
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:55,392
I don't think about it,
I've moved on.
189
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,770
Weak. He called me weak.
190
00:10:57,771 --> 00:10:59,271
Absolutely.
191
00:10:59,272 --> 00:11:00,731
Let me ask you.
192
00:11:00,732 --> 00:11:03,108
Does this look weak?
193
00:11:03,109 --> 00:11:04,485
Seriously?
194
00:11:04,486 --> 00:11:07,279
Wow, that is impressive.
195
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,031
Uh, watch your tie.
196
00:11:09,032 --> 00:11:11,909
So, listen, if I could just
ask you one question
197
00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:14,370
about the SNC-Lavalin scandal?
198
00:11:24,547 --> 00:11:26,048
Now, Lisa,
199
00:11:26,049 --> 00:11:29,176
we'll be doing a class play
based on a great Canadian novel.
200
00:11:29,177 --> 00:11:32,304
The Apprenticeship of Duddy
Kravitz by Mordecai Richler?
201
00:11:32,305 --> 00:11:33,847
Maybe next year, Oliver.
202
00:11:33,848 --> 00:11:35,140
It's never Duddy.
203
00:11:35,141 --> 00:11:37,559
No, we're doing
a child-friendly version
204
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,644
of The Handmaid's Tale.
205
00:11:38,645 --> 00:11:41,105
Ooh, I'd like to try out
for Offred.
206
00:11:42,774 --> 00:11:46,385
Oh, so you're asking directly
for something you want.
207
00:11:46,387 --> 00:11:49,764
Well, that's not very Canadian,
but I like it.
208
00:11:55,313 --> 00:11:59,274
I've never been happier.
209
00:11:59,275 --> 00:12:01,151
Polite applause, children.
210
00:12:01,152 --> 00:12:03,695
Yay.
211
00:12:03,696 --> 00:12:05,698
♪ ♪
212
00:12:09,994 --> 00:12:11,161
No.
213
00:12:19,295 --> 00:12:21,338
Hi, Mrs. Simpson.
214
00:12:21,339 --> 00:12:24,299
I have to get my daughter back.
Can I hide in the trunk?
215
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,636
Okay, but don't tell anyone
we're going up for beer.
216
00:12:27,637 --> 00:12:29,763
We all know.
217
00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:32,934
♪ ♪
218
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,519
D'oh.
219
00:12:41,192 --> 00:12:42,943
What's this blue stuff, eh?
220
00:12:42,944 --> 00:12:45,737
Oh, um, it's called a car tail.
221
00:12:45,738 --> 00:12:47,530
Stupid new American fad.
222
00:12:47,531 --> 00:12:49,199
Oh, we'll get it in six months.
223
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,286
Move along.
224
00:12:58,459 --> 00:13:00,085
Good-bye!
225
00:13:00,086 --> 00:13:02,045
Where is she?
226
00:13:02,046 --> 00:13:03,506
Mom.
227
00:13:04,507 --> 00:13:06,466
Oh, sweetie.
228
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:09,803
Mmm, this is the best hug
we've ever had.
229
00:13:09,804 --> 00:13:11,471
Yes, it's wonderful.
230
00:13:11,472 --> 00:13:13,431
Please don't make me leave.
231
00:13:13,432 --> 00:13:15,809
Your home is with us, not them.
232
00:13:15,810 --> 00:13:18,353
You must have known
I wasn't happy in Springfield.
233
00:13:18,354 --> 00:13:20,647
All I did was play the blues.
234
00:13:20,648 --> 00:13:22,273
Are you sure you didn't
play the blues
235
00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:24,192
because slow tempos are easier?
236
00:13:24,193 --> 00:13:25,527
Maybe a little.
237
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:27,487
But this country is better.
238
00:13:27,488 --> 00:13:30,365
Their Fox News
is just news about foxes.
239
00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:32,575
Listen, you little traitor.
I'm your mother.
240
00:13:32,576 --> 00:13:34,244
And you live where I live.
241
00:13:34,245 --> 00:13:36,247
You're coming home with me.
242
00:13:37,748 --> 00:13:40,333
I'm really gonna miss
this place.
243
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:42,252
If it makes you feel any better,
244
00:13:42,253 --> 00:13:44,504
Canada exploits
its environment, too.
245
00:13:44,505 --> 00:13:46,881
- Wha...?
- This country does it all.
246
00:13:46,882 --> 00:13:50,427
Tar sands, strip-mining,
Mountie-mocking,
247
00:13:50,428 --> 00:13:53,805
geese-goosing,
French fry-gravying.
248
00:13:53,806 --> 00:13:57,684
Okay, but I'm sure
you treat all peoples equally.
249
00:13:57,685 --> 00:14:00,937
- Except the Québécois.
- And the Newfies.
250
00:14:00,938 --> 00:14:03,064
Stupid Newfies.
251
00:14:03,065 --> 00:14:04,399
I'm a Newfie.
252
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,569
Whee.
253
00:14:08,404 --> 00:14:11,072
I guess that does make me feel
a little better.
254
00:14:11,073 --> 00:14:12,450
Thank you.
255
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,828
♪ Where the wind blows cold ♪
256
00:14:16,829 --> 00:14:19,330
♪ And there's ice and snow ♪
257
00:14:19,331 --> 00:14:23,084
♪ Some days go on forever ♪
258
00:14:23,085 --> 00:14:25,503
♪ But I'm warm and fed ♪
259
00:14:25,504 --> 00:14:27,630
♪ In a Newfoundlander's bed ♪
260
00:14:27,631 --> 00:14:31,718
♪ I'll be an islander forever ♪
261
00:14:31,719 --> 00:14:34,929
♪ I'll be an islander ♪
262
00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:36,807
♪ Forever. ♪
263
00:14:42,313 --> 00:14:44,522
Sir, we'd appreciate it
264
00:14:44,523 --> 00:14:47,859
if you gave us safe passage
back to America.
265
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:51,613
Sorry, but as it now says
on the Statue of Liberty,
266
00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:53,573
"No re-entry
without hand stamp."
267
00:14:53,574 --> 00:14:56,077
-Where do you get
the hand stamp?
-There isn't one.
268
00:15:01,665 --> 00:15:03,625
Our top story tonight:
Estranged Brew.
269
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:05,168
Marge Simpson and her daughter
have now been
270
00:15:05,169 --> 00:15:08,463
banned from the United States,
just like asbestos.
271
00:15:08,464 --> 00:15:10,340
And this just in:
asbestos is back
272
00:15:10,341 --> 00:15:12,258
into America's hospitals
and schools.
273
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:14,385
Let me just say
this asbestos will be
274
00:15:14,386 --> 00:15:16,639
reinstalled
with the greatest of care.
275
00:15:22,686 --> 00:15:25,605
Oh, Homie, I don't know
how we're gonna get back.
276
00:15:25,606 --> 00:15:28,274
Hmm... how soon
can you grow a mustache?
277
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,734
That won't work.
278
00:15:29,735 --> 00:15:31,402
Your call.
279
00:15:31,403 --> 00:15:32,946
Hmm, at least it looks like
280
00:15:32,947 --> 00:15:35,449
you're getting along okay
without us.
281
00:15:37,910 --> 00:15:40,537
You know, since Lisa and I
are stuck here,
282
00:15:40,538 --> 00:15:42,705
maybe you should
move up here with us.
283
00:15:42,706 --> 00:15:44,499
Great idea, great idea.
284
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,334
What the heck? Bring Bart.
285
00:15:46,335 --> 00:15:48,545
No way. I can't move to Canada.
286
00:15:48,546 --> 00:15:50,130
I revere this country.
287
00:15:50,131 --> 00:15:53,842
Really? The last vote you cast
was for Quisp.
288
00:15:53,843 --> 00:15:55,176
And I won.
289
00:15:55,177 --> 00:15:59,013
Maybe we could find a way
to sneak out. I snuck in.
290
00:15:59,014 --> 00:16:01,183
You do what you want;
I'm not leaving.
291
00:16:03,269 --> 00:16:05,395
Okay. You win, Lisa.
292
00:16:05,396 --> 00:16:07,897
Looks like we're gonna
be here together.
293
00:16:07,898 --> 00:16:09,649
But there's one thing
I need you to do.
294
00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:12,861
Take one last look
at the country you left behind
295
00:16:12,862 --> 00:16:15,738
and focus on anything
good about it.
296
00:16:15,739 --> 00:16:18,199
You're right.
America's like a great boyfriend
297
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,785
that maybe got a little fat
and lost a little hair.
298
00:16:20,786 --> 00:16:25,166
What does that have to do
with anything? Just go.
299
00:16:26,208 --> 00:16:27,667
Good-bye, USA.
300
00:16:27,668 --> 00:16:29,752
I feel like we did
the best we could.
301
00:16:29,753 --> 00:16:31,421
And we can still be friends.
302
00:16:31,422 --> 00:16:35,133
Okay, now I'm gonna focus on
the good things that you've got.
303
00:16:42,141 --> 00:16:44,517
Abe Lincoln... Dumbo...
304
00:16:44,518 --> 00:16:47,604
Aretha Franklin,
Eleanor Roosevelt,
305
00:16:47,605 --> 00:16:51,065
Seabiscuit, the computer
that won on Jeopardy!
306
00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:54,068
What is "We miss you, Lisa"?
307
00:16:54,069 --> 00:16:55,737
Judy Blume.
308
00:16:55,738 --> 00:16:57,739
Oh, I own all your books.
309
00:16:57,740 --> 00:17:00,033
I know, I read
my royalty reports.
310
00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:02,327
Having awkward new feelings
for your country--
311
00:17:02,328 --> 00:17:03,870
it's normal, Lisa.
312
00:17:03,871 --> 00:17:06,539
And you're one
of my favorite readers.
313
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,249
Welcome home, Lisa.
314
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:10,168
Well, I haven't decided yet.
315
00:17:10,169 --> 00:17:12,545
Hello, Lisa.
316
00:17:12,546 --> 00:17:15,965
- Louis Armstrong.
- Yeah. And I'm mighty tired
317
00:17:15,966 --> 00:17:18,718
of having to keep appearing
in your fantasies.
318
00:17:18,719 --> 00:17:20,428
Get your ass back over here.
319
00:17:20,429 --> 00:17:21,971
Yes, sir, Satchmo.
320
00:17:21,972 --> 00:17:25,141
America ain't perfect, but it's
my job to make it better.
321
00:17:25,142 --> 00:17:26,434
See you soon.
322
00:17:29,522 --> 00:17:31,774
What are you going
over there for?
323
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,442
It's legal now.
324
00:17:34,443 --> 00:17:37,278
What is "Pass the Dutch"?
325
00:17:42,034 --> 00:17:43,576
Psst, Mom.
326
00:17:43,577 --> 00:17:45,411
Psst. I want to go home.
327
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:47,288
Oh, finally.
328
00:17:47,289 --> 00:17:50,041
We're out of this hellhole.
329
00:17:50,042 --> 00:17:51,501
Who made my bed?
330
00:17:51,502 --> 00:17:53,504
Least I could do.
331
00:18:02,554 --> 00:18:04,931
We will get you
across the river.
332
00:18:04,932 --> 00:18:08,184
Nous allons vous faire
traverser la rivière.
333
00:18:08,185 --> 00:18:11,730
God, it wastes so must time
saying everything twice.
334
00:18:14,191 --> 00:18:17,569
I feel so relieved to have
finally made up my mind.
335
00:18:19,571 --> 00:18:22,991
Ooh. We must ditch
our excess cargo.
336
00:18:22,992 --> 00:18:24,867
You two.
337
00:18:24,868 --> 00:18:28,162
You're abandoning us
in the middle of a frozen river?
338
00:18:28,163 --> 00:18:31,499
Wow, Canadians
really can be jerks.
339
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,501
Yes, for every Martin Short,
340
00:18:33,502 --> 00:18:35,628
there is no shortage
of Shatners.
341
00:18:39,675 --> 00:18:41,801
Hope you wash up
on a shore you like!
342
00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:51,603
- Homie!
- Dad!
343
00:18:52,771 --> 00:18:54,773
Guess who's here
to save the day.
344
00:18:57,401 --> 00:18:59,569
Why did you get a truck so big?
345
00:18:59,570 --> 00:19:01,779
It's the smallest one
Detroit makes.
346
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,284
How will we get in?
347
00:19:06,285 --> 00:19:09,746
I know one place where
there's always plenty of room.
348
00:19:17,046 --> 00:19:19,589
I missed you, Krusty Burger
where there's only
349
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,049
one thing I can eat.
350
00:19:21,050 --> 00:19:23,718
I missed you,
pony I had for a week.
351
00:19:23,719 --> 00:19:27,388
I missed you,
snarky comic book seller.
352
00:19:27,389 --> 00:19:28,723
Thanks for nothing.
353
00:19:28,724 --> 00:19:32,643
I missed you, nuclear ash
that looks like snow.
354
00:19:32,644 --> 00:19:35,855
I missed you,
mixed martial arts megachurch.
355
00:19:35,856 --> 00:19:37,565
I missed you, Ralph.
356
00:19:37,566 --> 00:19:38,858
You were gone?
357
00:19:40,444 --> 00:19:42,111
Now can we do Duddy Kravitz?
358
00:19:42,112 --> 00:19:44,072
No, we're gonna watch an episode
359
00:19:44,073 --> 00:19:46,408
- of The Beachcombers.
- Oh...
360
00:19:52,206 --> 00:19:54,457
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
361
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:55,875
For my show and tell,
362
00:19:55,876 --> 00:19:58,669
I brought something
from my trip to Canada.
363
00:20:00,339 --> 00:20:01,839
What did you do this week, sir?
364
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,675
Well, a Japanese tourist
took pictures of me,
365
00:20:04,676 --> 00:20:07,095
I fed my horse an apple,
and I found
366
00:20:07,096 --> 00:20:10,765
a very interesting man
hiding in Medicine Hat.
367
00:20:10,766 --> 00:20:13,559
- Papa.
- Hey, Nelson, good news.
368
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,187
You've got a brother
in Fort McMurray.
369
00:20:16,188 --> 00:20:19,232
- What's his name?
- How would I know?
370
00:20:59,273 --> 00:21:00,899
Shh!
26586
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