All language subtitles for Touch.Me.Not.2018.720p.BRRip.x264-eng

Why haven't you ever asked me

what is this film about?

And why haven't I ever told you, anyway?

Was it just you not being curious?

Or also me being relieved

you don't ask?

Was it our silent, comfortable agreement

not to talk about it?

Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

Why?

You need to talk?

I wanted to know you a bit better

You don't have to tell me

anything you don't want to.

OK.

The words on your body,

did you write them?

No

It's part of a book

What language is it in?

Bulgarian

Can you explain to me what it says?

It's a really personal tattoo.

I feel that I really...

I take risks

90% of me wants to hide.

But the 10%, which is smaller,

is strong enough for me to be here

Well, I tell you, when you want to hide 90%,

you go through a lot of shit when filming

For me it's a.

It's a real challenge each time

It's excruciating.

Laura, I'm trying to understand, why am I doing

this kind of research

and what am I looking for,

why am I in your bedroom?

And I feel I still haven't managed to express

why I am here.

I think because it's not in the words area

It comes from

earlier on.

Before words?

Sometimes I have access to that

in my dreams.

Let's just stay in silence for a while.

Take a deep breath in.

Try to synchronize your breathing

with the breathing of your partner

And then open your eyes and just

look at each other.

Enjoy a moment of eye contact.

Be aware of your breathing

Breathe into your fingertips for a moment.

Send all your energy to your fingertips.

And softly start to use your fingers to explore

the face of your partner

Try to imagine how the face looks,

just with your fingers.

Just like every fingertip is a little eye

exploring this new landscape.

When you're ready to explore new territory,

then go to the nose,

the sides of the mouth.

Take your time.

Then, very slowly,

lift off your hands

No

No

Slowly come back to yourself.

Tomas and Christian,

can you describe what you feel in this journey?

I went through this roller coaster, up and down,

with all the emotions

And I tried to find a point in your eyes

where I could really see into your soul.

But I had a bit of trouble seeing that

I also noticed

there is some coverage

I mean, it felt like there is some cover over...

If I envisaged your soul

as a proper object,

then I would say there is a cover

or a blanket over it.

I don't know how to interpret that,

or how I could really notice that or so

Or if it was just an impression in my head

I hope I don't...

I don't hurt you when I say something like that

Tomas, how was it for you?

It's a very intimate part of the body.

The face..

It's not..

It's not very easy. But it's.

I don't know.

It becomes so intimate,

it's like you're falling from a cliff

I don't know what to say.

It's both good and frightening

to go into this zone,

more than any other part of the body.

The face is something very personal

Normally you don't let anyone into this space.

What did you feel when you touched his face?

It was not that easy around the mouth for me

It was more challenging there

Body fluids like saliva,

it's something very.

You're not used to get in
contact with that, necessarily.

It's not so easy to be so direct for me.

Normally I don't say things like this.

So directly.

It's good. I'm totally fine with that.

I enjoy the feedback

What feelings did this bring up?

It's..

It's..

... rejection.

It's overwhelming, it's just.

You wanna leave.

When there is something overwhelming, you just.

You don't want to be where you are

More salt?

Suppose you are the man.

You are the cello, of course.

And me...

I'm the piano.

I'm playing around you,

I'm embedding you,

I'm helping you

to play with strength

A really great piece of music

Well..

Maybe I'm not cheap,

but I think

I'm worth every dollar or every euro

you pay for me.

A possible outfit for "De Luxus Hanna"

Just listen to the wonderful music

Would you tell me a little bit about your desires?

Or it is too early?

And how did you find my telephone number?

On my internet site, I remember?

- Yes.
- OK

And you watched the site, I think?

What is interesting?

What interest would you have

in my person especially?

I think it's a bit.

I think it's a bit confused. I'm a bit confused.

- You have been confused?
- I am very confused

- Too many people in one person?
- No I mean..

In one of the videos I saw,

there was something very comfortable about you.

OK.

I'm a little bit influenced by my father,

who was a piano player.

And he studied in Munich, and so on

He played classical,

and it was a great impression to me

to just hear him playing music

when I got to sleep as a child.

There were no children's songs.

There was Chopin, there was Beethoven

Something like this.

Well,

so I got accustomed to that sort of music and...

Where do you have your music, around here?

Down here.

Would you like to choose?

My father liked Brahms very much.

It's a sort of melancholic music

Just hear a little bit

Sit down. Why so shy?

What do you feel now?

It's a little bit more distance or less distance?

- With you, you mean?
- Yes

I feel more comfortable,

- but I don't want you to get too close.
- OK

It's too close for you?

A bit.

OK. No problem.

- But I can take off my shoes.
- OK

I like them and I hate them.

Would you tell me a little bit more

about this call boy?

And what you did.

The nothing you did?

So, this young man comes around,

and we have this ritual.

If you tell me that you watch people,

this young guy getting undressed for instance,

I could do the same with you.

There are kinds of prostitution.

For instance, you can be a call boy,

going to the apartment of people,

you can be in a brothel,

you can be on the street.

I've done all these things.

But what I never have done

is having been member of a peep show

And this I would like to do.

In a certain sense,

you would fulfill a desire of mine,

just playing peep show for you

There are many men

just dropping the coins,

nothing else.

Maybe a man in this direction opens this window,

opens this window, opens this window.

This is the whole truth.

What about the breasts?

The nipples

standing a little bit

Touch them. You can even spit a little bit,

so it goes a little bit more smoothly

I think my penis is my clit,

clitoris. It's the same.

Also you can manipulate it the same.

I do not do it like the men do it.

I just do it, I'll show you,

more like a woman does it

See?

Now Laura, how do you feel?

What about your body?

I live with my body every day.

But I suppose I don't really know it.

Apart from the varicose veins,

the scar

You know, when she asked me:

Talk to me about your body or.

You know, I didn't have anything to say

In my perception, you are your body,

in this moment.

And you are talking about your body

as about a stranger

It's kind of questioning.

You know, when Hanna

became, or chose to become a female,

she was 50, she was about my age

And I think it's an age where you start thinking:

OK, I've got another...

.. let's say 15 to 20 years

of hopefully being in good health.

Do I want to continue the way I'm living now?

- It's something you can't control.
- Yes.

It's totally bad

I wouldn't say that there is good and bad

I mean, for you it was distracting,

and you had the impulse to go away.

But it's not bad

It's just something you experienced

And you can go into that emotion

and feel how it feels to have that emotion,

wanting to go away Really experience that.

Did you have long hair at some stage?

Yes, until I was 13

Did you decide to take it away?

No, it's natural, I lost all my hair

Oh, I didn't know that. How was it?

It was pretty hard then, when you're 13

I can imagine

When you are young, you are very vulnerable,

you want to have contacts with girls, and so on

It's not easy to be different, I guess.

No

How did you manage to cope? How did you.

I just hold all my emotions inside.

I never cried, I never did anything. I just...

- That must be hard.
- Yes.

And you, being different?

In my childhood I had one experience,

that I was in physiotherapy,

and I was talking to my therapist,

and I was mentioning

that sometimes I feel that.

I'm a brain being carried around

without any body

And that was the state of my mind

until I really came in touch

with the pleasure of sexuality.

I can feel your heart

You had cold hands, and now they are warming up

Scars.

I have a scar,

here.

Your belly button is different than mine.

This is a funny part

- Inexplicable.
- Yes.

An old connection.

What color was your hair?

Blondish.

It was tough for me then

I went from being the cute boy to the weird.

I was always wearing a hat, hiding

And how do you feel now?

You feel comfortable in your skin?

Yes.

It's been more than half of my life

If I had a choice, I wouldn't choose hair today.

In a way, it's also one mask less.

We are always hiding behind many masks,

and hair is one mask.

And it's like being more naked like that now

And I have a lot of hair

It's in my genes

I used to be very embarrassed when I was little

that I had hair on my.

Your hands?

... on my hands

And because I'm very dark, with pale skin

And you can see everything

I spent my whole childhood

being told what to do.

And I did think, when I grew up,

I thought there's gonna be this miracle age: 18

And when you wake up on your 18th birthday,

it's all changed.

Freedom

is there

What a disappointment.

It's very innocent.

But freedom.

... is a hell of a.

.. quest.

Isn't it?

Freedom fighters.

I could give you a few options

and you can say: That's what I need.

Let's start with something I think you don't need,

so you see what I feel like How does that feel?

Some clients need a boyfriend experience

They want to feel cozy and loved

and have a snuggle for several hours,

and just sort of feel that closeness

I think you probably don't need that right now,

but you'll probably need that another time

Some people like to surrender,

being physically overpowered

Holding your wrists,

holding you down,

and sort of being ripped asunder emotionally.

So whatever is knocking at the door,

I burst that door down,

and let it come out.

So I force my way in,

but within consent I force my way in

Just by holding your wrist down?

Holding your wrist is a start.

There's also tools like floggers and ropes,

kink, BDSM, role-play

Move your hand towards your heart

You're a strong lass.

That emotion that came out, that "whraa"

that we spoke about earlier,

is a powerful force inside you

The creature behind the door,

your shadow will come out through that "whraa"

It's just one wrist.

You've got two, of course

And ankles, and clothes,

and thighs

How's that feel?

It feels

powerful.

It doesn't actually scare me.

Behind most people's "whraa",

unreleased "whraa", there's a story

And sometimes that story is really relevant

In terms of the healing process,

telling that story is really a potent thing.

And sometimes, that's not relevant at all.

Do you think with you, it's relevant,

the story that's there?

I honestly.

I honestly don't know.

I don't think

my story is...

There's anything particularly incredible

about my story.

I mean, I don't understand

why I've reached this point because of my story

So, maybe there's something in my story I don't know

Or I don't remember.

I'm gonna touch your hair

All emotion welcome here

This emotion, this shadow,

this thing that's locked inside you.

This is the start of releasing it

This is what you called me for.

I've got the skills to hold you,

as you go through it,

but you're gonna drive at your own pace.

You're feeling safe?

I think so, yeah

There's some good energy inside you,

there's some potent emotion inside that "whraa"

When the door opens,

there's levels of intimacy

that help you feel safe to be emotional

We can also bring that more into your body,

bringing the "whraa" from here, down to here, to here

- OK.
- Would you like to try something like that?

Shall we stand. Shall we go here?

I'm gonna tap you here.

How does that feel?

Look into my eyes. How does that feel?

OK.

If you want harder,

you tell me: harder

Harder.

How does that feel, Laura?

I'm gonna use two hands

I'm gonna shake you a little bit.

This feels like punching down,

breaking down the locked-up temple walls

in here,

letting love in.

How does that feel?

Can I touch your tears?

And there I touch your face.

How's that?

Uncomfortable

I taste your tear.

I have a fetish for tears

You're missing salt.

Maybe

There's that shadow behind the door.

And male sexuality

is one of the things that's keeping it there

It's good to become conscious of that

Think, you're in bed,

or in intimate situations with your lovers,

if this is having this unconscious effect on you,

it also can stop you

from being intimate with people.

But if you can project that out

without breaking your wrists,

there's more chance of intimacy.

What was the word you used yesterday?

When I said revolt, and you said.

Anger.

I wasn't expecting to scream.

And I didn't realize how just a simple

someone holding your wrist,

in a non-aggressive way,

could make me so angry

I think I'm really scared of my anger.

Open your eyes.

And then, very slowly

lift off your hand from your partner's chest.

Slowly come back to yourself.

And breathe

Do we have a towel, or a paper or something?

I think I'm drooling a bit Maybe you can wipe me?

Yes. That's better.

I guess there's one discussion there

that could be. We could give it a try.

- Sure.
- Please feel free

I think I was..

I was brought up.

I think my mother was in a way that she was.

She didn't want to.

She didn't always feel so good when I was a kid

and she didn't want me to feel that she felt bad

So she was always hiding her emotions,

she was always smiling when she was feeling bad.

Like it was a certain message that was:

"You always have to feel good."

And I think I often try to say only good things

Also, when I feel something else,

I just push it away and I'm not allowing myself

to say things that I think

could hurt someone else.

And it's freeing

to be against someone that is not afraid

of talking things straight out

and receiving things and..

... being in a secure space like here,

where I allow myself to talk a bit more openly.

And it's a.

It's so great I'm very grateful for that

Thank you.

It was.. It helped me when you said

that there's no bad nor good.

It's just what it is.

It's not bad to feel something

that you don't like but...

It is like it is.

At some stage I learned,

or I heard, that all this

idea of good and bad

is actually

a thing coming from the Middle Ages,

or from Christianity,

which is quite artificial,

to divide the world into two parts,

good and bad

And that's actually not how the world works

Things are much more complex

than black and white, good and bad.

There's so many shades of everything.

How about we exchange places?

I go there.

And you come here.

This is a really tough place to be

Why?

I think I'm feeling what you must have felt

very often, in this place

What do you feel?

I think it's a lot of fear.

Do you know what of?

Of being looked at.

Of being judged.

And I think the most powerful moment I've seen

was when you touched your anger.

It was something I knew very well.

Did I scream for you?

Just listen to the music.

Just reflect on what you expect from me

How can I help you

It's very much more light

It's more easy.

More..

- A bit more playful.
- Yes.

There you see music is a play.

Also, I think sexuality is a play.

Just... you ought to take it a little bit easy.

Well, I'd like to be more relaxed

OK.

- I'm relaxed.
- I know

And I'm not.

And I wish I were

OK Just try to do the same as I do

Literally?

Lie down and be on a beach.

Like being in a mirror.

There is a mirror, there is you, OK.

It's so quiet.

Just watch it

A little bit more lively.

Four intelligent people just chatting.

Like birds.

It's the same Brahms as we heard last time,

but he was a little bit older here,

a little bit more relaxed.

Yes, of course.

The age of composers is also important.

So we move a little bit opposite.

Come.

It's a mirror.

I'm your mirror.

You are my mirror. OK?

It's really like birds

I didn't hear this piece of music

for a long time

Schumann got seriously ill,

ill in the brain

He was transferred to a hospital

so they could keep him closed in

He even tried to murder himself.

And Brahms

and the young Clara Schumann were alone

And so they came together

But Brahms was completely unable

to practice sexuality

He couldn't really get close to her

Because he was such an introverted man.

And he suffered from his introversion,

so he put everything in his music

All his feelings, he put in his music.

Lucky thing.

I think with you it's different.

- Don't you think?
- Different how?

Well,

I think.

It's just my feeling.

There may be a sort of inhibition.

But I think we...

... can overcome it.

Always presenting something new for my clients.

So?

What do you see?

An imperfect body.

This belly, very much too fat

This here, this navel - broken.

I caught it with this piercing.

That's OK.

My breasts. Well...

I have names for my breasts Have I told you?

- No.
- No?

This is Gusti

- Gusti?
- Gusti

How do you do?

I'm fine!

This is Lilo.

- Lilo?
- Lilo.

Why did you choose Gusti and Lilo?

Well, it was spontaneous

I always give names spontaneously.

Yes.

Gusti is, well, more sensitive, you know?

And Lilo,

Lilo had an operation

Lilo was not there before.

- And Gusti was?
- Gusti was.

So, Gusti is the older one also.

They are sisters, you know?

I think there is no weird,

really weird, in sexuality.

You don't think what? That there's no what?

I think there's nothing weird in sexuality It's nothing

There are just things which are dangerous.

Dangerous for your life and for your health,

and for your psyche

And every other thing shouldn't be forbidden.

It's your way to play this game,

in my opinion.

And I think it's fascinating.

Room tone with rain in the background

What would you say
is your favorite part of your body?

I think

if I need to name one part,

that would be my eyes,

I think I have.

I'm aware I have nice eyes

Some say that they are beautiful

and sparkling.

And I'm proud of that

I think I can reach people with my eyes,

and talk to them through my eyes

Yes, your eyes are very strong, I think

I noticed that right away.

But I also like my hair.

I like my skin

I like my penis

There's so many parts of my body which I do like.

About my hair, I'm really proud of my hair,

because it's not only a part of the body,

but also a statement.

It's also a lifestyle,

pretty much connected to the way I live my life,

to the freedom I want to feel.

And non-conformity.

The penis...

I do like it,

because it's one of the parts of my body

which functions totally normally.

I have this severe disability,

but I don't suffer from my disability.

There is a phrase. We are always saying

he or she is suffering from disability.

And I hate that phrase

But still, it is complex,

living in a different-abled body

Sometimes I would like to scratch my head,

I would like to move and I would like to...

Sometimes I would like to be able

to just actively fuck

That would be nice

Not to be passive, but to be active in that part

I wish I had the opportunity

to caress my wife,

and to take her into my arms actively.

But it's the way it is, and I'm OK with that.

But therefore, I'm very very happy

that my penis is very normal,

and sizewise it's good

Altogether,

I think I'm quite an attractive man

I'm different

I'm not beautiful in the mainstream sense,

or in terms of norm.

But I don't give a fuck about norms anyway

Overall,

I think my body, as it is,

is a gift.

And life is a journey to experience that gift

I know it's you

Please understand.

Stop calling.

It's over.

I didn't know you come here

I don't.

I'm looking for someone.

And you?

You come here often?

Yes, sometimes.

It's an interesting place

I'm a searcher

and a hunter

for knowledge and for wisdom

in sexual art

Sex is a big part of my life,

which I like to enjoy

and to celebrate more

And I like to open my mind

and to get a broader horizon.

I look at it a bit also like an art.

Yes, because...

it's not only something you do with your body,

but it's also.

If it's really great, then there is...

I call it

a moment of wonder

And that's something meaningful,

something which stays

I was with my man

trying to make love

And all of a sudden,

I feel there's someone with us in bed.

And I realize it's my mother,

just lying in bed, next to me

There is this physical thing,

there is this cringe in my whole body,

that she shouldn't be there.

So I push her out,

I tell her to leave.

So she gets out of the bed, she stands.

And, worse than that,

I realize she's naked

She stands at the end of the bed,

and she doesn't leave.

She was like a child,

standing there like this, very fragile,

and saying that she doesn't wanna leave,

because she doesn't want to be alone.

And it gets really unbearable.

I insist she leaves,

I tell her that's not her place,

she should leave the room.

So I push my mother outside,

through the hallway I close the door

And guess what?

She appears in the fucking door of the balcony.

Standing there, naked,

very fragile, very vulnerable,

and she really wanted in

She didn't want to be alone.

And this is how I woke up

And this is a dream I will never forget.

It's powerful.

And where's the anger in that?

Well, in your dream you're not angry

because you're.

You want to get rid of her,

but she moves you, because she needs you.

You know when you talked to me about your dream,

you described how fragile she looks,

quite a few times.

As if the fact that she was fragile

meant that you couldn't be angry,

because your aim isn't to hurt her

Your aim is for her just to leave

In dreams,

you can be everybody

You know, when you were talking,

at one point I felt like saying to you,

"Can you say the same thing, and

say 'I' instead of 'her'?"

I think needing someone

makes me weak and vulnerable.

Because.

I don't have the freedom to be myself,

because if I am myself, with all the shit,

and with all my feelings,

and especially

with my anger,

I'm gonna lose that person I need

I understand that.

Loving another without losing yourself is...

Difficult

It's such a damn challenge

I hope that's possible.

I'm looking with this huge curiosity

at other people

How they manage.

How the fuck do they manage?

The hair gets tired

if you keep it out more than.

Maybe you can give some coffee to your hair

There's something like coffee shampoo.

You have curls now.

Yes.

Like that? Or different?

I leave this closed or open?

Open.

- Open like that?
- Open

I like it open.

I've got a knot down there.

You know, closed is maybe more practical,

but this is far more beautiful.

You look so female.

Can you come a bit closer?

And put my arm a bit backwards.

Like that?

I think we have an audience.

It does look like it.

What do you feel now?

When you allow us in your intimacy?

What makes you allow us

in there, in that very special place?

I feel trusted and trusting at the same time,

and I feel I really hope

that I can change people's perspective,

that I can change your perspective,

as an audience

That you have a wider horizon

after you have seen me.

And I invite you to celebrate your body

and enjoy it every day.

I'm here now, also. With you

- Hi.
- Hi, Tomas!

Hi.

I've been very touched

by watching your relationship

It's very emotional to hear that.

I felt like

a connection that was on a very deep level.

Yeah.

And it's.

It's inspiring to see

such a strong connection.

It's..

My whole vision of you has changed so much

since I met you first.

When I saw Grit so strong, carrying you and...

She was this rock. And then.

I saw the whole situation turn around when.

you were the rock and she was

in a situation where she felt weak.

It's beautiful to see this balance

I think it's important

to have balance in your relationship.

Many people don't see that balance with us,

but we are in a good balance, I guess

Otherwise it wouldn't work for such a long time.

Do you think, Grit,

that your way of perceiving the world has changed

since you are together?

Definitely, I feel really held

in Christian's arms,

very much.

And it's a feeling of strength, and a feeling

of trust and warmth.

And I don't feel that I need to show people

I'm strong, or so.

It seems

we have a very natural relationship to each other

It's not that we are,

as a relationship,

it's also not that we are always "happy together"

or in a state of "cloud 11" or so.

We are very grumpy sometimes,

and we clash with each other sometimes

Especially when we are in a stressful situation

But I have the feeling you are very honest

- always, with how you feel.
- Yes.

I think this honesty is very important

because we know that,

even if for one minute we shout at each other,

the next minute we will be good again

You're very clear with some boundaries,

aren't you?

If you can't say no,

you can never really say yes.

Would you like to explore your boundaries

in a ritual in which there's no expectation?

- OK.
- Yes?

Can I put my hand here?

How does that feel?

OK.

- What's going on?
- I got kind of nausea.

From the hand?

I don't know.

Now we go here, just below, between your.

- My plexus.
- Your plexus.

- How does that feel?
- OK

I push a little bit.

I'm gonna come down

to your belly

Is that OK there?

How does that feel?

It's beginning to feel uncomfortable

Somewhere here is a jump.

Somewhere here is a jump between you and me

Can I touch you hungrily?

That's the trigger, I think.

And what do I do with your hunger?

Someone's desire for you,

a man's desire for you is a big trigger.

This is what I'm feeling here,

the second I start to pull you in.

That's gonna be a trigger there.

That's related to your father and all this other stuff

Breath with me.

We're ready?

Pulling you in. Feeling my lust.

Feeling my genitals

Very strong defense

Keep going

When you nod, I'm gonna do it again, ready?

Powerful and potent.

Stay with it.

Stay with me

Show me your eyes

All emotion welcome here

What happened?

It's OK.

It's OK.

There's a lot of things

that happened the last days for me.

Internal changes and.

There's something very important that I realized.

Which came to me like an epiphany

It is, when Christian was talking about my wall,

which is something I'm conscious of,

And I've been trying to work on for a very long time.

And to me, this wall was always a wall

to protect me from something outside,

not coming into me.

And suddenly, yesterday, it came to me in a flash,

that this wall was absolutely not to protect

anything from outside coming in

It was absolutely the opposite.

I'm protecting something from the inside

which can come out.

This filter on what emotion I'm ready to let out

makes me so unfree.

Stay there

Everything is good

Good girl

Why did you come?

I'm curious.

I'm curious to know

why you are following me.

I'd like you to look at me.

OK.

I'm looking at you now.

I'd like you. to look at me naked.

Can you watch me?

You can do it.

OK.

It's OK.

It's OK.

I'm watching you now

I'm watching your body now.

Can you sing me a lullaby?

A lullaby.

I'm not quite sure I can remember a lullaby.

There was this song I used to like when I was young

It kind of went.

I used to have this girlfriend known as Elsie

She used to have this little room in Chelsea.

She wasn't what you'd call a blushing flower.

As a matter of fact, she rented by the hour.

The day she died, the neighbours came to snicker.

That's what comes
with too many beers and liquor.

But when I saw her laid out like a queen,

she was the happiest corpse I'd ever seen.

It's one of the best lullabies I've ever heard

You want me to sing you a lullaby?

In Icelandic.

What's it about?

It's like..

Sleep, my little baby.

Rain is crying outside

Mommy is keeping your little toys.

You shouldn't be awake

in the dark night.

I used to feel very calm

when my mom sang this to me

I was so sure I knew everything

about intimacy,

about trust,

desire,

safety

As time passed by,

with real life, with real people,

all my so clear - once - views on things

got gradually destabilized.

After 20 years of being away from home,

of thinking I'm a free, grown-up woman,

I understood the umbilical cord between us

hasn't actually been cut

Not yet.

You're still running through my veins

As a dear friend put it:

Tell me how you were loved,

to tell you how you love.

Tell me

how you loved me,

so I can understand how I love,

how to love

When I started to ask you

about all these memories,

do you remember how difficult it was,

for both of us?

I came to understand how this love-myth

hides so many conflicting emotions,

how layers of anger,

guilt,

violence

make it so difficult to reach that "love".

And how today, I carry with me,

in my intimate life,

the fear of losing the one I love,

the distrust,

the anger,

the never fulfilled longing.

Is there also a conflict

between your image of me

and who I really am?

And am I maybe still

too afraid to ruin this image,

for fear I lose you?

Is this maybe why we never talked about this film?

Mela-mela, melancholy

Melancholy, my dear

Mela-mela, melancholy

Floats over the new city and over the country

Over the control centers

Over the concrete stubble fields

Over the secret bunkers

Which are impossible to remove

Marlene, go home!

Over the Marlene-Dietrich-Platz, too

The new temples are already cracked,

Future ruins

One day, grass will grow over this city too,

Over its last layer

Mela-mela, melancholy

Melancholy, my dear

Mela-mela, melancholy

Floats over the new city and over the country

In the sky slashed to pieces

By the rehearsing jets flying across.

She hangs with widespread wings

Sleepless,

Her frozen gaze

Turned towards the rubble

Behind her, the future is piling up

Slowly, she flies higher and higher,

Finally overseeing the whole country

What's the state of the country?

What's the state of the country?