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1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,079
Yeah, I had a great time
today, too, Charlotte
2
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:14,214
Oh, nothing really.
3
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:15,515
I'm having the folks
over for dinner.
4
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,210
Just the family and Roz.
5
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,053
Well, I've done it
a thousand times before.
6
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:23,420
Okay, then,
I'll, uh, see you tomorrow
.
7
00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:24,419
Bye.
8
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,130
For God's sake.
9
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:31,431
This thing...
10
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,422
breaks like crockwork.
11
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,137
(laughs)
12
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:38,138
Crockwork.
13
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:39,439
I'll tell you.
14
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,441
Frasier, once again,
you suffer the tragedy
15
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,432
of being cleverandalone.
16
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:54,054
Oh, for God's sake, Dad.
17
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,355
Would you please
throw that thing away?
18
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,356
Why? What for?
19
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,058
When I get
through gluing it,
20
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,359
it'll be as good as new.
21
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:00,360
(doorbell ringing)
22
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,362
It wasn't any good
when it was new.
23
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,365
It's just an ugly,
worthless pot.
24
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,067
Oh.
Hello.
25
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,228
Hi. How was
the honeymoon?
26
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,638
Oh, Tahiti
was absolute paradise,
27
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:14,232
except for poor Niles
getting sunburned.
28
00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:18,278
Oh, dear, Niles.
29
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:21,145
You look like you
crawled out of a bisque.
30
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,484
And you look like someone
who doesn't want
31
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:26,179
his Paul Gauguin
souvenir oven mitt.
32
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,082
Niles, you remembered.
33
00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:30,256
Hey, guys.
34
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,324
Welcome back.
35
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:32,826
Hello, Martin.
Hey.
36
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,327
You're a bit dressed up
for a family dinner.
37
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,158
Oh, well,
Roz is dropping
by
38
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,164
with someone she
wanted me to meet.
39
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:39,825
Ooh, a lady friend?
40
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,564
No, we're going
to form a jazz trio, Niles.
41
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,303
Of course it's
a lady friend,
42
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:47,240
you cherry-faced fool.
43
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,442
So you want us
to clear out?
44
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,211
No, no, no,
you don't have to do t
hat.
45
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:53,513
Actually, if I don't like her,
Roz will just take her away.
46
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:58,518
We've agreed upon
a safety word--Enchant
?
..
47
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,509
If circumstances should dictate,
all I have to do is say it
48
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,518
and Roz will know
that I'm not interested.
49
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,124
(doorbell ringing)
50
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,148
Niles, would you
mind getting that?
51
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:06,459
That's probably Roz.
52
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,161
I'm just going
to get rid
53
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,458
of Dad's arts and crafts project here, all right?
54
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,465
Hi, Roz.
55
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,200
Hey, you guys are back.
56
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,468
Hey, Martin.
Hi, Roz.
57
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,163
This is my
friend Lizbeth.
58
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,164
How are ya?
59
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,173
Good, good. That's
all right. Yes.
60
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,474
This is Daphne
and Martin and...
61
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,809
Hi.
62
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,276
Can I get you a glass of wine?
63
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,204
Oh, please. Frasier has
the greatest wine.
64
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:28,715
Oh, sounds
good to me.
65
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,284
Life's too short
to drink bad wine, right?
66
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,842
Amen to that.
67
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,722
Just a half a glass
with club soda.
68
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:38,316
You know how
I love my spritzer.
69
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,321
Frasier.
70
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,219
What? Oh, hi.
71
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,700
Roz, what a
pleasant surprise.
72
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,302
This is Lizbeth.
We were just shopping
73
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:51,304
.
in the neighborhood
and thought we'd stop by
74
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:53,840
How lovely. It's a pleasure
to meet you, Elizabeth.
75
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,676
It's not Elizabeth.
It's Lizbeth.
76
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,378
Ah. Like "Lisbon. "
77
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,246
Like a what?
78
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,838
Enchant?.
79
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:05,652
Right,
80
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,519
and meeting you
is just...super.
81
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,825
Yes, the feeling
is mutual.
82
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:16,329
Enchant?. Enchant?. Enchant?.
83
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,821
Oh, and for me, it's
just been super. Super, super.
84
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,502
I took a shot.
85
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:24,204
Yes.
Yeah. Okay.
86
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,205
Well, I guess
we can stop
87
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,206
shaking hands now.
88
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,507
Oh, well, I'm ready
whenever you are.
89
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:28,496
Well, then just let go.
90
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,870
I did. You're
holding on to me.
91
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:33,413
Oh, dear.
92
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,711
?
.
Dad, what kind of glue
were you using on that pot
93
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,412
Super.
94
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,422
How could you be so stupid
to glue us together?
95
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:45,258
I thought you said he was smart.
96
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,360
Don't panic. I
-I seem to recall
97
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,363
that Super Glue can be
dissolved with acetone.
98
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,398
You know, nail
polish remover.
99
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,456
He's the smart one.
100
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,535
How did you know that?
101
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,303
I knew that
from, from school.
102
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:57,860
School lunches!
103
00:03:58,304 --> 00:03:59,706
The Kriezel brothers
used to glue
104
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,874
a cafeteria tray to his tie.
105
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,808
DAPHNE:
Well, I suppose
we better get some.
106
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,278
Let's go
to the drugstore.
107
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,575
Drugstore. Oh. I gotta go.
108
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,282
No, they'll be
back in ten minutes.
109
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:10,583
No, no, no, I-I gottago.
110
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,285
I started
the new juice diet
111
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:13,586
and I got 64 ounces
112
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:16,289
of cran-raspberry
looking for a new home.
113
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,290
.
Oh, for God's sake
114
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:18,279
I'll tell you what.
115
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,592
Just, uh... Here.
116
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,294
Just, just come
right in here.
117
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,295
There we are.
118
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,388
Yes, uh, all right,
just a moment. Uh...
119
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,323
Are you there?
120
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:29,324
Almost.
121
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,739
That's close enough!
122
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,344
Could you maybe
put on some music?
123
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,778
Dad, could you
put on some music, please?
124
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,016
Yeah. Sure. What do
you want? Pop? Big band?
125
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,007
Oh, for God's sakes,
just turn the damn thing on!
126
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,457
Sorry I'm late.
Mm-hmm.
127
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,948
The Cinco de Mayo traffic
wasmuy malo.
128
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:55,995
Oh, yes, that's right.
129
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,986
They closed some streets
for the fireworks display.
130
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,726
Well, happy birthday, Roz.
131
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:00,898
Yeah, happy birthday.
132
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:02,702
Whatever.
133
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:06,706
Used to be I'd go out and get
a little wild on my birthday.
134
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:09,402
Now I go out
and get a little dinner.
135
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:10,698
There's nothing wrong
with dinner.
136
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:14,080
I know, but
it used to come with sex.
137
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,581
Come on, Roz.
138
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,583
Sounds like you need a drink.
139
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:21,986
Oh, that used
to come with sex, too.
140
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:23,923
Sounds like we've got
another passenger
141
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,425
on the SSAin't Gettin' Any.
142
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,414
(doorbell ringing)
143
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,429
Hello.
Hi, Niles.
144
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:31,431
Wonderful day, marvelous day.
145
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,432
You two look grand.
146
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:34,525
Where's Daphne?
147
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,693
Who shoved a bluebird in you?
148
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,063
You know the SS Ain't
Gettin' Any?Man overboard.
149
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,444
You and Daphne?
150
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:49,541
Last night, Daphne and I engaged
in sweet carnal delights.
151
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:52,685
Did you say
"carnal" or "caramel"?
152
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:58,491
I gotta go wrapt.
Roz's birthday gift
153
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,794
Oh! I forgot
about Roz's birthday.
154
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,785
You don't have anything
I could give her, do you?
155
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:04,797
Well, let's look.
156
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,499
Maybe one of
these books. Just...
157
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:07,800
For God's sake, Niles.
158
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,802
I mean... How could you
forget her birthday?
159
00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:11,504
It's the whole reason
we're having dinner.
160
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,802
Oh, forgive me. I've been
a little distracted lately.
161
00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:16,509
Especially last night.
162
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:17,510
And again this morning.
163
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:18,499
Niles. Oh...
164
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:19,709
Oh, dear God.
165
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,614
If Daphne knew I was
speaking so indiscreetly,
166
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:22,603
she'd be mortified.
167
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,474
And just when I thought
I'd worn him out,
168
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:26,486
he flips me over
like a griddle cake
169
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,488
and off we go again.
170
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,479
Niles?
171
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:31,848
.
I couldn't catch me breath
172
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:33,860
It was like a marathon.
173
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,762
I tell you, he spoilt
me for any other man.
174
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,965
Frasier's brother Niles?
175
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,067
And guess how he woke
me up this morning.
176
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,902
Oh, shut up already.
177
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,504
Okay, birthday girl.
178
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,639
Come on over here
and open some gifts.
179
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,508
Hello.
180
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,066
Hello, yourself.
181
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:54,414
All right, you two,
let's pay attention.
182
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,715
.
This is Roz's birthday
183
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,583
This gift is from Niles.
184
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,574
Happy birthday, Roz.
185
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,757
It's a crock.
186
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,463
With a chipped lid...
187
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:11,452
and a dead bee.
188
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:12,765
Thank you, Niles.
189
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,756
Glad you like it.
190
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:18,771
Oh, you know, I-I think I left
your present in my room.
191
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,673
Niles, will you help me with it?
192
00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:21,901
Oh, of course.
193
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:23,609
We'll be back very quickie.
194
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,844
Quickly.
195
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:25,708
Quickly.
196
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,615
You don't think
they're gonna...?
197
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:32,218
Oh, I have no idea.
198
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,487
Try not to
think about it.
199
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,479
(fireworks exploding)
200
00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:44,664
Wow. He really is good.
201
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:48,998
(explosions continue)
202
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,933
(firecrackers going off)
203
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:56,509
Dad,
204
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,238
I bought you these headphones
205
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:02,248
so that I wouldn't be subject
to your sports drivel.
206
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,649
Please put them on.
207
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,151
All right, I will.
208
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,551
But only if you say it.
209
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:17,497
I want you...
to wear those headphones.
210
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,498
I don't know why you care.
211
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,932
You're just gonna
be out riding on that
212
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:21,934
stupid parade float.
213
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,770
The KACL Fourth of July
float is not stupid.
214
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:28,228
Unless you think it is stupid
to commemorate a hardy band
215
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,076
of revolutionaries,
their minds ablaze...
216
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,544
Hey, you're right!
217
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,705
This does cut out
all the drivel.
218
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:37,950
Oh, hi, Daph.
219
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:38,951
My God, you
look hideous.
220
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:40,653
Thank you.
221
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:41,954
I wouldn't normally
wear polyester
222
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:43,523
on the hottest
day of the year,
223
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,091
but some English friends of mine
224
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,592
are having
an Ugly American party
225
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,760
in honor of the Fourth.
226
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,529
(doorbell ringing)
227
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,831
(speaking in American accent) :
We're going to toss back
228
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,833
a couple of cold brewskis,
watch the ball game
229
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,536
and not use
the metric system.
230
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,537
Oh, hello, Niles.
231
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,538
Oh, hello, Uncle Sam.
232
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,839
Didn't you just hand me
233
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:00,840
a flyer for
a mattress sale?
234
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,842
Uh, listen, Roz is
running a little late,
235
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,538
so we're just gonna meet
her downstairs, all right?
236
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,647
Dad!
237
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,205
We're off!
See you later.
238
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:10,716
Oh, okay. Good luck.
239
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,718
Boy, these are great.
240
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,721
Now I can watch TV
without bugging anybody.
241
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:19,225
??
..
?? My bacon
is Farmer Frank's bacon
242
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:24,026
?? There's no mistakin'?
?the quality...??
243
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,766
Wait a minute.
244
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:28,334
Is my bunting adroop?
It's supposed
245
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:29,824
.
to drape evenly.
Oh, for God's sake
246
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,837
You're not going to send me back
247
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,339
to the Space Needle
with binoculars
248
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,840
and a walkie-talkie
again, are you?
249
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,342
No, there's
no time for that.
250
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,833
We can fix it on the fly.
It'll just take a second.
251
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:42,337
Niles, you grab that end.
252
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:47,853
Excuse me.
253
00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:50,356
This shouldn't come off
like this, should it?
254
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:53,348
Oh, dear.
Um, here.
255
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,225
Oh, Lord.
256
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:57,697
Oh, Dad!
257
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:58,698
Hey, Dad.
Dad!
258
00:09:58,698 --> 00:09:59,699
Mr. Crane.
259
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:00,700
Dad!
260
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:01,701
Dad!
261
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:02,702
Mr. Crane.
262
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,033
Dad! Dad! Dad!
263
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,605
He can't hear us.
We're stuck out here.
264
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,106
What are we going to do?
265
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,108
Let's not panic.
Maybe some of our neighbors
266
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,097
are on their balconies.
267
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,777
Hello!
Hello!
268
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,369
Yeah. Mr. Winston,
are you home?
269
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:17,316
Hello? Hello?!
270
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:18,408
(jets flying by)
271
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,412
The Blue Angels!
272
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,680
Wow.
273
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,762
What?
274
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,957
Locked out!
275
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,062
Dad!
Dad!
Martin!
276
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,758
Mr. Crane!
Martin!
Dad!
277
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,004
Oh...
278
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,096
(sighs)
279
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,675
Roz, how long does
a baseball match last?
280
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:43,643
Well, usually three hours.
281
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,746
Oh, dear.
282
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,306
This sucks. I don't
even have my cell phone.
283
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,250
Don't you have you
r cell phone, Frasier?
284
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:52,318
Roz, I'm Uncle Sam.
285
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,853
I don't have a cell phone.
286
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,222
I shouldn't even
have this zipper.
287
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,091
It's going to be
a hundred degrees out here.
288
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,786
I'm roasting in these things.
289
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,791
That's it. These
clothes are coming off.
290
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,972
(phone ringing)
291
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,974
That's all right, Niles.
Allow me.
292
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,373
Daphne.
293
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:17,810
Coming.
294
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,111
(phone ringing)
295
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:22,114
Hello. Crane residence.
296
00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:24,684
Oh, hello, Mum.
Happy Thanksgiving.
297
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,087
It's the holiday where
everyone eats turkey.
298
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,790
No, we're having goose.
299
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,091
Daphne, when you're finished with that,
300
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,927
could you please bring us some
snacks to soak up this wine?
301
00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,996
Yes, and a little
more wine.
302
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:40,397
Who knew my sorrows
would be such strong swimmers?
303
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,268
I can't talk right now, Mum.
304
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,769
Dr. Crane has guests.
305
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,134
Yeah, he's still out of work.
306
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,808
Of course I'm worried
he might let me go.
307
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,810
I worry about it every day.
308
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,107
But I'm coping.
309
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,980
Alice is so cute.
310
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:58,284
She fell asleep
hugging her bottle.
311
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,352
I'm right behind her.
312
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:04,857
Niles, would you please stop
being so morose?
313
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:07,359
It is Thanksgiving.
314
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:08,861
Oh, you're right.
315
00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:11,830
I should count
my blessings.
316
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,467
I'm in the midst
of a bitter divorce.
317
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,469
Maris is freezing my assets,
318
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,970
forcing me to live
in the Shangri-la
319
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,972
which is the devil's
own apartment complex
320
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:22,975
where last night,
they turned off my heat,
321
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:24,465
re-freezing my assets.
322
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:27,480
We're all going through
a bit of a rough patch.
323
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,845
Look at Roz and me.
We're out of a job.
324
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,816
Oh, not me.
325
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,818
I just took a phone temp job
in customer service.
326
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,120
I can work from wherever I am.
327
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,815
They just patch
the calls through.
328
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:38,491
Well, now, you see.
There's a positive attitude.
329
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:41,494
Some people see losing a job
as an opportunity.
330
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,995
Oh, thank you, Daphne.
331
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:46,362
(phone ringing)
332
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,934
Hello.
333
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,936
(sexy voice) :
Oh, hello.
334
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,133
Yes, this is Monique.
335
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,177
I'm just lying in the tub,
soaping myself all over...
336
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,181
FRASIER:
Good heavens, Roz!
337
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:05,184
Is that the sort
of customer you're servicing?
338
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:06,452
Hang that up!
339
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,054
Call me later, tiger, okay?
340
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:10,556
What? It pays the bills.
341
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,046
And I'm not tied to a desk.
342
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,927
Not unless they ask you to be.
343
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:18,898
Good news.
The Cowboys just scored.
344
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:24,403
.
Bad news is, I kind
of screamed and wokesomebody's baby up
345
00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:25,267
Oh, Daphne,
346
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:26,896
my bath salts man
347
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,574
has just delivered
a new shipment
348
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,064
of my proprietary blend.
349
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,511
Could you please
run me a tub tonight?
350
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:36,482
Of course I will, Dr. Crane.
351
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,040
What would you do without me?
352
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,020
A little more?
353
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:44,089
I know things have
been tough lately.
354
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:45,591
But they'll turn around for you.
355
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:47,081
Just watch.
356
00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:52,097
She's an angel.
357
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,088
You're right,
Frasier--
358
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,601
I'm being too morose.
359
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:56,602
Not taking action.
360
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,502
I'm telling Daphne
I love her tonight.
361
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,005
Niles, let's
not be rash.
362
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,007
Come on, let's get you
some fresh air.
363
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,998
I don't want air.
I want Daphne!
364
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,643
(phone ringing)
365
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,616
Hello.
366
00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:28,634
Well, thank you.
367
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:33,138
You've got a nice
deep voice, too.
368
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:34,406
Oh, I don't know...
369
00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:38,978
Uh, brown pants
and a plaid shirt.
370
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,970
Hello? Hello?
371
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:48,988
Is everything
all right?
372
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,923
What's wrong with Niles?
373
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,324
MARTIN:
He decided that
today's the day
374
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:54,026
he's going
to tell Daphne.
375
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,017
He's going to tell Daphne
with all of us here?
376
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,564
That's gonna be
uncomfortable.
377
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,327
I know, but I guess
he figures he just can't
afford to wait any longer.
378
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,269
All right, Niles...
379
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,904
Niles, Niles, please.
380
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,272
NILES:
Daphne...
381
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:07,973
Dr. Crane, I know what
you're going to do.
382
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:08,974
You do?
383
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,276
Not you, Dr. Crane--
Dr. Crane.
384
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,277
And you can't fire me
because I quit.
385
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:12,278
What?!
386
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,980
After all I've done
to save you money.
387
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,982
I'm washing my face
with dish soap
388
00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:18,973
while you're out buying
imported bath salts
389
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:20,286
Iike a big rich girl.
390
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:24,347
I hope you rot
in debtor's prison!
391
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,615
She's an angel.
392
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,092
I'll pick you up
at 7:00, my angel.
393
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:45,010
You'd better get used
to the name Evelyn Griebel,
394
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,706
because you're going
to be hearing an awful lot
395
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,478
of it around here.
396
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:52,484
Evelyn Griebel.
397
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:55,287
Sounds like music, doesn't it?
398
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,022
Haven't you only been
dating her a week?
399
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,011
Well, yes,
400
00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:01,026
and you know how loath I am
to use the expression,
401
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,027
"She may be the one, "
402
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:04,222
but I think in this case
it's appropriate.
403
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,033
I finally got Maris calmed down.
404
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:09,134
I hope you're happy.
405
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,694
All I said was,
"Maris, why the long face?"
406
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:14,173
Yes, and now she's on
the phone
407
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,175
to her chin grinder
in Zurich.
408
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,166
(doorbell ringing)
409
00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:20,179
I'll get that.
410
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,168
It's probably Roz.
411
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:24,683
Well?
412
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:26,185
Sorry I'm late,
but I had a date.
413
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:28,187
Yes. I thought
that was last night.
414
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,456
It was a good date.
415
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,157
How's your new girlfriend?
416
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,194
I allowed her to climb
to the first base camp
417
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,196
on Mt. Crane, and I believe
418
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:42,034
she's feeling the effects
of the altitude.
419
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,436
Is one of them nausea?
I'm getting that now.
420
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:45,304
Oh, shut up.
421
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:46,772
You hungry, Roz?
422
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,273
There's cheese here.
423
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:50,342
Oh, nobody opened it.
424
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:53,379
Dear God, Dad, that's
three years old.
425
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:54,368
Throw it out.
426
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,781
No, it'll be fine.
427
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,783
You sure you don't want any?
428
00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,149
"
The label says
it's "famously spreadable.
429
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:04,123
Funny, Roz, doesn't your
label say the same thing?
430
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,625
What does yours say, Niles?
431
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,183
"May cause drowsiness"?
432
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,196
I'm just having some fun.
433
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,499
'Cause I know I'll be
settling down soon.
434
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:19,071
Yes, well, thank God
my dating days are over.
435
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:22,141
Three years on the Seattle
singles scene
436
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,631
is quite enough, thank you.
437
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,047
(phone ringing)
438
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,537
Hello.
439
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,517
Oh, hi, Evelyn.
440
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,382
She can't go five minutes
without talking to me.
441
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,689
Listen, I'm really looking
forward to dinner tomorrow.
442
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:39,191
I see.
443
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,692
Well, if tomorrow's no good...
444
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:42,125
I see.
445
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,431
But you said you were having
such a lovely time.
446
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:46,693
I see.
447
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:50,135
Perhaps I'd better
take this in my room.
448
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:53,229
Oh, what are you smirking at?!
449
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:03,782
What are you staring at?
450
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:06,485
It's 14.
451
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:08,253
What?
452
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,550
You're reading about
Jack Russell terriers, right?
453
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,757
That's how man
y years they live.
454
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,816
14.
455
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,389
(doorbell ringing)
456
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:23,702
Oh, hello, Niles.
457
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:28,264
There are the merry bachelors
in their swinging new pad.
458
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,131
Where's Maris?
459
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,445
She's take
n to her bed.
460
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:37,438
This large earring fad
has compressed her spine.
461
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:42,209
Where is your, uh, enchanting
new home healthcare worker?
462
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,656
I just found out what
that second toilet
463
00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:46,146
in me loo is for.
464
00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:48,250
Talk about a shock.
465
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,495
Hello there.
466
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:50,762
Hello.
You're, uh...
467
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,322
Oh, don't tell me.
I'm good with names.
468
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:54,666
Uh... Miles Crane.
469
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,497
Yes, I am.
470
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:57,700
.
And, and, you're..
471
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,506
Daphne Moon from
Manchester,
472
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:01,507
where you developed
a liking
473
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,308
for Knickerson's
Lemon Biscuits.
474
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:06,345
What a kind man you are,
Miles Crane.
475
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,245
FRASIER:
Oh, by the way,
476
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,215
I've invited
Roz Doyle to join us.
477
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,518
She's my producer
over at the radio station.
478
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,219
She had no plans this evening.
479
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,516
You know, I think
the poor thing
480
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,210
has a hard time
meeting men.
481
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,525
Anyway...
482
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:20,526
Would you care for
a scotch, Niles?
483
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:21,515
Yes... Actually...
484
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,163
No, I'm in
a sherry mood tonight.
485
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,222
Sherry?
486
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:30,836
What an intriguing idea.
487
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,339
I think I can scare up
a bottle of sherry.
488
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:35,207
(doorbell ringing)
489
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,208
DAPHNE:
Oh, I'll get it.
490
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:39,344
FRASIER:
Oh, hi, Roz.
491
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,712
Come on in.
I'd like you to meet my dad.
492
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:42,714
This is
Martin Crane
493
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,350
and his home healthcare worker Daphne Moon,
494
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,220
and, of course, this is
my brother-- Niles Crane.
495
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,221
Oh, God, is it Niles?
496
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,722
I feel so embarrassed.
497
00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:51,711
Oh, no, please
don't be.
498
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,723
Actually, I prefer Miles.
499
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,369
(doorbell ringing)
500
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,358
Oh, that'll be
my pizza.
501
00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:06,638
Would you get it?
502
00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:08,373
What?
503
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,374
You are not having pizza.
504
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:11,343
I made a duck.
505
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:12,377
What, you're going to tell m
e what I can eat now?
506
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,413
No, I'm just saying
that it's rude
507
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,415
to bring your own food
to a dinner party.
508
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:17,916
Hi.
509
00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:18,917
Hello.
510
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:19,918
1 2 bucks.
511
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:21,408
Right.
512
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,423
Hey, aren't you that
new radio shrink at KACL,
513
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:25,924
Dr. Frasier Crane,
right?
514
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:26,925
Yes, I am.
515
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:27,926
It's always nice to meet a fan.
516
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:29,428
Actually, I'm in
the radio game myself.
517
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:30,929
This pizza thing
is just paying the bills
518
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:32,431
until a job opens up.
519
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,921
Maybe you could put
a good word in for me down...
520
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:37,799
The pizza smells good.
521
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,371
Have some.
522
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:40,269
It's called
"The Dirty Dozen. "
523
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:44,610
1 2 delicious toppings,
and not one of them duck.
524
00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:46,345
This from the gourmet
525
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,280
who dumped my Cornish Yarg
cheese down the disposal.
526
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,008
It was covered with moId.
527
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,380
It was supposed to be!
528
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,784
Well, I said I'd replace it, didn't I?
529
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:55,776
Here it is.
Hope you're happy.
530
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:05,355
With "pasteurized, processed
cheese-flavored snack food. "
531
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,734
Dear God.
532
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:12,938
Looks like someone
melted down a highway cone.
533
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,929
I was just trying
to be nice.
534
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,942
You don't need to
be a jerk about it.
535
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,944
You're right, Dad.
I'm sorry.
536
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:19,808
Thank you.
537
00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:22,046
Would you please
join me in the kitchen--
538
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:24,372
Miles!
539
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:32,391
He is driving me batty.
540
00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,484
All right, we
are making a deal.
541
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:35,727
He spends six months here
542
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:37,429
and then he's moving into your house.
543
00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:40,489
Absolutely.
We'll switch off.
544
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,334
MARTIN:
Someone bring
me a beer?
545
00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:43,969
ROZ:
Yeah, beer
sound good.
546
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,767
I should have just
gotten a keg.
547
00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:49,007
I'll tell you something-
- this is the last time
548
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:51,066
I try to make a nice dinner
for these people.
549
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,042
(doorbell ringing)
550
00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:11,430
Oh, hey, Dad.
551
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:12,419
Hey.
552
00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:13,732
.
Dinner's ready
553
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:14,596
All right.
554
00:22:16,368 --> 00:22:19,371
Hello, you guys.
Come on in.
555
00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:20,360
Dinner is served.
556
00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:21,861
Hello, Martin.
37692
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