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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,987 I've been camming online for money. [ moans ] 2 00:00:05,117 --> 00:00:06,989 NARRATOR: Previously onNow Apocalypse. 3 00:00:07,119 --> 00:00:09,513 I told you I could only come if I was finished with my work. 4 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:12,211 -Sev, wait! -ULYSSES: From the moment me and Gabriel met, 5 00:00:12,342 --> 00:00:14,213 there was this supernatural connection between us. 6 00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:18,348 My name's Aja. Ah! Oh! Oh! 7 00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:20,959 -Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?-MAN: Help me. 8 00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:24,223 They keep fucking me. They won't stop. 9 00:00:24,354 --> 00:00:27,270 -I'm fucking quitting acting.-Whatever happened to that web series that you were writing? 10 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,401 I'll help you film it. 11 00:00:28,532 --> 00:00:31,317 You... want me to spank you? 12 00:00:33,319 --> 00:00:34,451 ULYSSES: Fucking, sucking, 13 00:00:34,581 --> 00:00:37,062 hand jobs, rimming, ass stuff, 14 00:00:37,193 --> 00:00:40,326 fingering, nipple play, then double it. 15 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,068 'Cause of course, you can give and receive. So, what is it, like 12? 16 00:00:43,199 --> 00:00:45,549 Maybe you count making out, so it's like 13. 17 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,291 -So, like, let's say like 15.-OK. 18 00:00:48,421 --> 00:00:50,554 Of the 15 or so... 19 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:54,166 items on the gay sex menu, I'm into most all of them. 20 00:00:54,297 --> 00:00:57,953 But there's two things you can only do with a girl. 21 00:00:58,083 --> 00:00:59,955 Fucking a vag, and eating one. 22 00:01:00,085 --> 00:01:01,391 -Right. -Mmm. 23 00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,045 And I genuinely enjoy both. 24 00:01:03,175 --> 00:01:04,394 Especially fucking a pussy. 25 00:01:04,524 --> 00:01:06,135 It is not at all like fucking an ass. 26 00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:08,006 It's a totally different sensation. 27 00:01:08,137 --> 00:01:11,357 It's the only hole designed to accommodate a cock. 28 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,185 Exactly. 29 00:01:13,316 --> 00:01:15,274 But, I'm still naturally 30 00:01:15,405 --> 00:01:18,321 so much more attracted to guys, so it doesn't even make me bi, 31 00:01:18,451 --> 00:01:21,759 it's just like, every once in a while, you know, I like to order off the menu. 32 00:01:21,889 --> 00:01:23,500 Plus, Aja was really hot. 33 00:01:23,630 --> 00:01:27,895 It makes sense. I mean, 99% of the time, I am... 34 00:01:28,026 --> 00:01:30,420 all about the "D." But, then, I don't know, 35 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,335 sometimes I'll just randomly end up with a cunt in my mouth. 36 00:01:32,465 --> 00:01:36,426 And I'm all, [ exhales sharply ] guess I'm progressive. 37 00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:39,429 [ both laugh ] 38 00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:41,344 ♪ Then life is finite♪ 39 00:01:41,474 --> 00:01:44,390 [ Ford sighs ] I'm sorry, Sev. 40 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,044 You know I hate it when we fight. 41 00:01:46,175 --> 00:01:48,003 We're not fighting. 42 00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:50,309 I'm very busy at the moment, and you're unhappy about it. 43 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:54,618 I understand that work is a priority for you. 44 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:58,317 I just, I need to make sure that our relationship is a priority, too. 45 00:01:58,448 --> 00:01:59,971 SEV: Of course it is, Ford. 46 00:02:00,102 --> 00:02:02,408 Just because I need to focus on work right now, 47 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,368 doesn't mean I care any less about you. 48 00:02:05,498 --> 00:02:08,414 But I really must go, Lars and Klaus are waiting. 49 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,112 Can I still see you later? 50 00:02:10,242 --> 00:02:11,809 I might be very late, and I need to get up 51 00:02:11,939 --> 00:02:12,984 early in the morning. 52 00:02:13,115 --> 00:02:14,899 That's cool. I, I don't mind. 53 00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:16,335 SEV: All right. 54 00:02:16,466 --> 00:02:18,294 But I need to get to sleep as soon as I get home. 55 00:02:18,424 --> 00:02:19,947 I, I promise, 56 00:02:20,078 --> 00:02:21,558 I just want to sleep next to you. 57 00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:23,516 Fine, I'll see you later then. 58 00:02:23,647 --> 00:02:25,388 Sweet, OK. Bye, babes! 59 00:02:25,518 --> 00:02:26,476 Bye, Ford. 60 00:02:28,434 --> 00:02:30,088 Sorry about that. 61 00:02:30,219 --> 00:02:33,135 -No problem.-It is why we are both still single. 62 00:02:33,265 --> 00:02:35,311 -Anyway, shall we? -Mm. 63 00:02:38,140 --> 00:02:40,446 Oh, I was meaning to ask. 64 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,971 Have either of you noticed any unusual vehicles following you recently? 65 00:02:46,409 --> 00:02:47,801 No, why? 66 00:02:47,932 --> 00:02:49,064 Have you? 67 00:02:50,717 --> 00:02:53,372 I thought so, the other day. But, I'm sure it was nothing. 68 00:02:55,157 --> 00:02:57,159 This is, seriously, 69 00:02:57,289 --> 00:02:59,639 our last round. We gotta get up early tomorrow. 70 00:02:59,770 --> 00:03:03,252 The 8:00 a.m. call time was your brilliant idea. Not mine. 71 00:03:03,382 --> 00:03:05,341 We do have a lot of scenes to shoot 72 00:03:05,471 --> 00:03:06,777 in one day. 73 00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:12,217 -What are you doing?-Sorry, uh, it was my cam client. 74 00:03:12,348 --> 00:03:14,350 Worm. Uh, we were sexting earlier. 75 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,135 I didn't think that you gave your number out to these guys. 76 00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:21,444 Yeah, I,I don't normally. But, I, I don't know, this one is like weirdly... 77 00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:23,446 endearing. 78 00:03:23,576 --> 00:03:25,317 He looks like a dying bird. 79 00:03:25,448 --> 00:03:28,886 -Is this the... Is this the pee guy?-Mmm. 80 00:03:29,016 --> 00:03:32,107 Did I tell you about him? Yeah, he, uh, he watched me pee in the bathtub. 81 00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,108 Ugh, yeah. 82 00:03:34,718 --> 00:03:36,023 -Mmm. -Was it, like, hot? 83 00:03:36,154 --> 00:03:39,418 Hmm, eh, eh, yeah. 84 00:03:39,549 --> 00:03:42,421 Speaking of, have you heard from Palm Springs guy? 85 00:03:42,552 --> 00:03:46,599 Leif? Oh, no. We-we purposely didn't exchange numbers. 86 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:49,036 I told him I didn't wanna be tempted, so... 87 00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:51,343 -[ phone vibrating ]-Sorry. 88 00:03:51,474 --> 00:03:54,346 Oh. And, uh, on that note. 89 00:03:54,477 --> 00:03:55,565 Hey, babe! 90 00:03:55,695 --> 00:03:59,264 -Are you fucking watching it?-Um, yes! 91 00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:01,919 -[ whispering ] He's the worst.-Yeah, uh, American Crime Scene on ABC, right? 92 00:04:02,049 --> 00:04:03,486 CBS! 93 00:04:03,616 --> 00:04:05,183 Yeah, yeah, sorry, of course. Ha ha! 94 00:04:05,314 --> 00:04:06,141 JETHRO: Where are you? 95 00:04:06,271 --> 00:04:07,533 Uh, I just... 96 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,145 I'm just, uh, at home. 97 00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:12,059 Sounds noisy. CARLY: It's, uh... 98 00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:14,149 It's... [ chuckles ] neighbors. 99 00:04:14,279 --> 00:04:18,196 Uh, oh, oh, oh, baby! Baby! Shh, quiet, quiet. It's my scene. 100 00:04:18,327 --> 00:04:22,331 Ah, ah, ah. Hey-hey, not, not too hard. Just...watch the TV. 101 00:04:22,461 --> 00:04:26,335 Wow, you are so real, and in the moment, bro. 102 00:04:26,465 --> 00:04:28,163 [ choking ] 103 00:04:28,293 --> 00:04:30,034 Thanks, bro. 104 00:04:46,616 --> 00:04:50,097 Did I wake you? Sorry, I was trying to be as silent as possible. 105 00:04:50,228 --> 00:04:51,751 That's OK. I just wanted to make sure 106 00:04:51,882 --> 00:04:54,101 to say "good morning" before you go. 107 00:04:54,232 --> 00:04:55,973 That's sweet. 108 00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:57,714 Oh, you're leaving already? 109 00:04:57,844 --> 00:05:00,456 Yes. I told you, I have a very full day today. 110 00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:02,109 -[ phone chimes ] -All right. 111 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:03,372 See you later. 112 00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:04,590 Whoa. 113 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,940 -What is it? -Uh... 114 00:05:09,073 --> 00:05:10,770 Otto just... 115 00:05:10,901 --> 00:05:13,991 uh, sent me the photos he took of me from our modeling session. 116 00:05:14,121 --> 00:05:15,384 Oh? 117 00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:20,693 Hmm. OK. 118 00:05:20,824 --> 00:05:23,087 Have a productive day. 119 00:05:23,218 --> 00:05:24,523 Uh, they're good, right? 120 00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:26,482 Yes... 121 00:05:26,612 --> 00:05:29,746 Your body's uh, sublime as a Greek sculpture. 122 00:05:29,876 --> 00:05:32,401 Yeah, you think? 123 00:05:32,531 --> 00:05:34,794 -[ phone beeps ] -Klaus? Yes. 124 00:05:34,925 --> 00:05:36,056 -I'm on my way. -Sev, wait. 125 00:05:36,187 --> 00:05:37,928 -Sev, wait. -What? 126 00:05:38,668 --> 00:05:40,104 I love you. 127 00:05:40,235 --> 00:05:42,411 -Yeah, me too. -Really? 128 00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:44,021 Do you? 129 00:05:44,151 --> 00:05:46,589 -Do I what? -Love me. 130 00:05:46,719 --> 00:05:48,547 Yes, I just said so. Ford, honestly, 131 00:05:48,678 --> 00:05:50,549 I don't have time for this discussion. 132 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,726 I'll call you later. Klaus. 133 00:05:53,857 --> 00:05:56,207 Yes, sorry. I'm leaving right now. 134 00:05:56,338 --> 00:05:57,600 Bye! 135 00:06:01,734 --> 00:06:03,606 [ sighs ] 136 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:08,630 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 137 00:06:16,401 --> 00:06:18,969 MAN: You still don't get it, do you? 138 00:06:21,493 --> 00:06:23,278 Get what? 139 00:06:23,408 --> 00:06:27,456 What this is all about. 140 00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:29,284 Don't play dumb with me, Ulysses. 141 00:06:29,414 --> 00:06:31,329 You are double Sagittarius, after all. 142 00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:33,766 Scorpio. 143 00:06:33,897 --> 00:06:37,640 The point is you know. You've always known. 144 00:06:37,770 --> 00:06:39,555 What, what are you talking about? 145 00:06:43,428 --> 00:06:45,865 The apocalypse is nigh, when, behold, 146 00:06:45,996 --> 00:06:50,566 the archangel Gabriel appears, and blows his golden trumpet. 147 00:07:16,331 --> 00:07:18,463 [ sighs ] 148 00:07:18,594 --> 00:07:20,509 [ phone alarm beeping ] 149 00:07:26,297 --> 00:07:27,646 ULYSSES: So, we are rolling. 150 00:07:27,777 --> 00:07:31,389 MAGENTA: Sluts.Scene one, take one. 151 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:37,439 OK. And... 152 00:07:37,569 --> 00:07:38,701 action! 153 00:07:39,745 --> 00:07:41,791 I am so over acting. 154 00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:43,706 Like, being an actress in L.A. 155 00:07:43,836 --> 00:07:46,361 is like being anorexic at an all girls boarding school. 156 00:07:46,491 --> 00:07:49,668 It's unoriginal, and you're fucking starving. 157 00:07:49,799 --> 00:07:53,542 Not to mention, there's always someone thinner than you. 158 00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:56,196 CARLY: I was thinking, maybe I should do a web series. 159 00:07:56,327 --> 00:08:00,636 I just feel like I really identify as someone who would be an internet celebrity. 160 00:08:02,986 --> 00:08:04,640 Fuck, I forgot my line, what is it, again? 161 00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:06,468 You say: "Yeah." 162 00:08:06,598 --> 00:08:08,644 Right, sorry, um. 163 00:08:09,819 --> 00:08:10,733 Yeah! 164 00:08:12,474 --> 00:08:14,693 So, what should my show be about? 165 00:08:14,824 --> 00:08:18,784 Hmm, how about transgender runaways-- 166 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,484 Um, actually, the line should be gender non-conforming runaways. 167 00:08:22,614 --> 00:08:26,401 Magenta! We are ad-libbing! Just go stand in the corner. 168 00:08:26,531 --> 00:08:28,838 Um, what about me? Am-am I doing OK? 169 00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:30,405 Who are you? 170 00:08:30,535 --> 00:08:33,364 I'm your new roommate, Emily. 171 00:08:33,495 --> 00:08:36,411 Yeah. Right, sorry. 172 00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:40,806 Emily, could you be less enthusiastic with the table wiping? 173 00:08:42,808 --> 00:08:44,419 Let's just pick it up where we left off, OK? 174 00:08:44,549 --> 00:08:46,638 And... action! 175 00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:50,337 Anyway, so, what's new with you, Odysseus? 176 00:08:50,468 --> 00:08:54,080 Well, I've been on a bit of a sex rampage lately. 177 00:08:54,211 --> 00:08:56,648 I fucked this girl Astrid last night 178 00:08:56,779 --> 00:08:59,390 -under a bus. -OMG. 179 00:08:59,521 --> 00:09:00,870 Are you bisexual now? 180 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,700 I'm not bisexual, I'm just a slut. 181 00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:06,615 [ both chuckle ] 182 00:09:08,355 --> 00:09:10,532 Teach me, baby. 183 00:09:10,662 --> 00:09:14,840 -Teach me. Teach me, baby! Teach me-- -We can hear you in here! 184 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:18,409 Oh! Sorry, my bad. 185 00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:22,282 [ whispering ] Teach me, baby. Teach me,baby. 186 00:09:22,413 --> 00:09:25,547 Ooh. Oh, yeah. 187 00:09:25,677 --> 00:09:27,244 Teach me, baby. 188 00:09:27,374 --> 00:09:29,333 [ electronic music plays ] 189 00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:32,902 -ULYSSES: And... - [ camera shutter clicks ] 190 00:09:33,032 --> 00:09:35,295 Action! 191 00:09:35,426 --> 00:09:38,690 Ommm. 192 00:09:38,821 --> 00:09:40,605 Ommm. 193 00:09:40,736 --> 00:09:44,609 Jebediah, I'm so horny. 194 00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:47,133 Please fuck me. Please. 195 00:09:47,264 --> 00:09:49,832 Ommm, get off my jock, Charley. 196 00:09:49,962 --> 00:09:53,444 Can't you see I'm busy trying to reach a higher plane of consciousness? 197 00:09:53,575 --> 00:09:57,927 Jebediah, please, I am so desperate for your cock. 198 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,278 Wait, wait, wait. 199 00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:03,541 What? 200 00:10:03,672 --> 00:10:06,501 It's just that last line doesn't feel authentic to my character. 201 00:10:06,631 --> 00:10:08,241 Why not? 202 00:10:08,372 --> 00:10:10,635 Sweetie, I wouldn't expect you to understand, but... 203 00:10:10,766 --> 00:10:13,508 someone who meditates couldn't possibly be that condescending. 204 00:10:15,945 --> 00:10:18,556 Look, I think with all the takes that we've done, 205 00:10:18,687 --> 00:10:20,079 -we already got it. -CARLY: OK, whatever. 206 00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,560 Let's just move on to the sex scene. 207 00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:24,954 OK, fine, if you say so. 208 00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:27,304 I'll just have to say "I told you so" when all hell breaks loose 209 00:10:27,434 --> 00:10:30,960 in the Zen blogosphere over your flawed representation of the practice. 210 00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:33,005 Um, before we do the sex scene, 211 00:10:33,136 --> 00:10:35,181 I just think it's a good idea for everyone to say out loud 212 00:10:35,312 --> 00:10:38,358 -what they do and do not consent to, as to avoid-- -Shut up! 213 00:10:38,489 --> 00:10:39,403 Magenta! 214 00:10:41,797 --> 00:10:45,017 -Let's continue, shall we? -ULYSSES: OK. 215 00:10:45,148 --> 00:10:47,106 And, action! 216 00:10:48,847 --> 00:10:51,328 Hey, I know you're a feminist, or, 217 00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:54,505 whatever, but I think it is kinda weird that you're using your vibrator 218 00:10:54,636 --> 00:10:56,768 -while we are having sex. -[ scoffs ] 219 00:10:56,899 --> 00:11:00,772 Fine! If you're so jealous, I won't use it. 220 00:11:00,903 --> 00:11:03,122 -[ crashing sound ]-JETHRO: Cut, cut, cut, cut. 221 00:11:03,253 --> 00:11:06,038 -Jethro, you cannot say cut, that is my job. -ULYSSES: I... 222 00:11:06,169 --> 00:11:07,866 [ stammering ] I thought that was my job. 223 00:11:07,997 --> 00:11:09,912 It's just, just the last vibrator line, 224 00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:12,697 I don't think my character would say something like that. 225 00:11:12,828 --> 00:11:14,481 You literally said that. 226 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,268 No. Don't know what you're talking about. 227 00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:22,446 Lunch. I think that's a lunch. 228 00:11:28,017 --> 00:11:29,540 Oh, oh, wait. 229 00:11:42,031 --> 00:11:44,337 [ rock music playing ] 230 00:11:49,429 --> 00:11:52,128 JETHRO: So, I've got something that I'd like to say. 231 00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:55,610 It's been a long, and, at times, trying day. 232 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:57,524 But I think everybody dug deep, 233 00:11:57,655 --> 00:11:59,135 into their well of life experience, 234 00:11:59,265 --> 00:12:00,745 and really delivered the goods. 235 00:12:00,876 --> 00:12:03,182 -So cheers to us actors! -ALL: Cheers! 236 00:12:03,313 --> 00:12:06,490 And congratulations everyone, on a truly amazing day 237 00:12:06,621 --> 00:12:09,145 of creativity and collaboration. 238 00:12:09,275 --> 00:12:12,322 -KAI: To Sluts!-ALL: To Sluts! 239 00:12:14,237 --> 00:12:15,891 You OK? 240 00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:16,892 Whatever. 241 00:12:23,115 --> 00:12:25,422 Oh, shit. 242 00:12:25,552 --> 00:12:28,643 My agent called. I've been trying to get her on the phone all week. 243 00:12:28,773 --> 00:12:30,340 Don't--don't leave me with these people. 244 00:12:34,953 --> 00:12:37,869 Hi, yeah, um, is Velma there? 245 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,525 Uh, she just called me, I'm returning her call. It's Carly Carlson. 246 00:12:41,656 --> 00:12:43,005 Yeah, I can hold. 247 00:12:46,008 --> 00:12:48,140 -VELMA: Hello?-Hey, Velma, it's Carly. 248 00:12:48,271 --> 00:12:49,402 VELMA: Who? 249 00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:51,578 Carly Carlson. 250 00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:52,971 You just called me like an hour ago. 251 00:12:53,102 --> 00:12:55,060 Oh, right. 252 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:59,021 So, uh, uh, did you get any feedback on my audition last week? 253 00:12:59,151 --> 00:13:00,762 That's not the reason why I called. 254 00:13:00,892 --> 00:13:03,373 Oh, OK. Um... 255 00:13:03,503 --> 00:13:07,072 I just, I actually just finished a, a pretty amazing shoot, by the way. 256 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,900 Oh, really? On what? 257 00:13:09,031 --> 00:13:10,946 Well, I told you, I'm making my own web series. 258 00:13:11,076 --> 00:13:12,774 Oh, yeah... 259 00:13:12,904 --> 00:13:14,645 Anyway, I'm sorry, Carly, 260 00:13:14,776 --> 00:13:16,516 but I think this relationship has run its course. 261 00:13:16,647 --> 00:13:18,954 Um... what? 262 00:13:19,084 --> 00:13:21,696 I just think you'd be better served elsewhere. 263 00:13:23,785 --> 00:13:26,570 -But I, I, I thought that-- -VELMA: Oh, fuck! 264 00:13:26,701 --> 00:13:27,658 What? 265 00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:29,312 I just got outbid on eBay. 266 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,793 Fucking Russian bid bots! 267 00:13:31,923 --> 00:13:34,404 I gotta go, best of luck with your endeavors, Carla. 268 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:43,413 -[ rock music playing ] -[ party chatter ] 269 00:13:49,985 --> 00:13:54,076 All right, I'm gonna head over to the Float Lab and hit the sensory deprivation tank. 270 00:13:54,206 --> 00:13:55,599 If anyone wants to join me. 271 00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:57,732 Man, I would love to, Jethro, 272 00:13:57,862 --> 00:14:00,299 but unfortunately I have to pass. 273 00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:03,259 Gotta go home and prep for my big audition tomorrow morning. 274 00:14:03,389 --> 00:14:05,261 -EMILY: What? -MAGENTA: Hey, what's that? 275 00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:06,523 What are you auditioning for? 276 00:14:06,653 --> 00:14:09,004 I have no idea. 277 00:14:09,134 --> 00:14:12,398 My manager, Teddy, told me the project is so huge, it's shrouded in secrecy. 278 00:14:12,529 --> 00:14:15,010 Like, there's no sides, or anything. 279 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:17,969 I just have this random Hamlet soliloquy to audition with. 280 00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,188 [ Kai and Magenta laugh ] 281 00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,843 That's, that's cool, bro, that's really cool. 282 00:14:21,973 --> 00:14:24,976 I mean, luckily for me, Shakespeare is my jam, so...[ laughs ] 283 00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,502 -MAGENTA: Well, good luck.-Holy shit! 284 00:14:29,633 --> 00:14:33,202 Dude, you must be emanating some crazy powerful vibes, right now. 285 00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:37,075 Because my manager, Humberto, just texted me. 286 00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:40,383 I just landed a role in a brand new 287 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:43,212 premium cable miniseries, starring none other than... 288 00:14:44,387 --> 00:14:46,084 Benedict Cumberbatch! 289 00:14:46,215 --> 00:14:49,044 What the fuck are you talking about? 290 00:14:49,174 --> 00:14:52,874 Me and Ben! Old mate, Benny! We shared this really intense scene in the opening episode. 291 00:14:53,004 --> 00:14:56,225 He plays a mortician in the 1930s. 292 00:14:56,355 --> 00:15:00,925 And he walks in, and turns on the lights, and then bam! 293 00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:04,320 There...I...am. 294 00:15:04,450 --> 00:15:07,192 Lying...on the table. 295 00:15:07,758 --> 00:15:09,586 And then... 296 00:15:09,716 --> 00:15:11,806 the dude fucking embalms me! 297 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:19,901 [ song fades out ] 298 00:15:20,031 --> 00:15:23,469 [ dog barking in distance ] 299 00:15:28,823 --> 00:15:30,041 [ sad music playing ] 300 00:15:30,172 --> 00:15:32,304 Argh! 301 00:15:32,435 --> 00:15:36,221 So, I guess the AC still isn't working? 302 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,962 Hey. 303 00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:44,099 Are you... 304 00:15:44,229 --> 00:15:45,796 Are you drunk? 305 00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:47,145 Not really. 306 00:15:48,886 --> 00:15:50,366 Maybe a little. 307 00:15:50,496 --> 00:15:52,803 -But you hardly ever. -It was hot, and... 308 00:15:54,892 --> 00:15:56,807 I was sad. 309 00:15:56,938 --> 00:15:57,895 Ugh. 310 00:15:58,026 --> 00:16:00,289 What's wrong, man? 311 00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:07,339 Do you think Severine loves me as much as I love her? 312 00:16:07,470 --> 00:16:10,125 I think Sev does love you. 313 00:16:10,255 --> 00:16:13,955 She just maybe expresses it differently than you do. 314 00:16:14,085 --> 00:16:16,218 Yeah, maybe. 315 00:16:16,348 --> 00:16:19,830 It's just, we've been arguing a lot lately, and... 316 00:16:19,961 --> 00:16:22,746 it seems like she barely has time for me anymore. 317 00:16:22,877 --> 00:16:25,662 You know, relationships sometimes, 318 00:16:25,792 --> 00:16:26,968 they go through growing pains. 319 00:16:28,926 --> 00:16:30,710 Yeah, I guess. 320 00:16:34,366 --> 00:16:37,587 So, what are you, uh, what are you looking at? 321 00:16:37,717 --> 00:16:41,373 Pics from that photo shoot I did with that director guy, Otto. 322 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,900 I don't, I don't know. What do you think? 323 00:16:49,599 --> 00:16:52,907 [ Ford sighs ] Are they too gay looking? I can't tell. 324 00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:55,170 I just, I need your expert opinion. 325 00:16:56,911 --> 00:16:59,130 Umm. 326 00:16:59,261 --> 00:17:01,263 Come on, be honest. 327 00:17:03,874 --> 00:17:05,136 Ford, you, um, 328 00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:07,922 you didn't show your dick, 329 00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:09,836 or anything, in any of these, did you? 330 00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:11,969 What? No! 331 00:17:13,318 --> 00:17:14,929 I don't think so, at least. 332 00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:17,932 Look, uh, Ford. 333 00:17:18,062 --> 00:17:21,370 I, I know that you really like Barnabas, 334 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,068 and going to all the premieres, and the parties and stuff, 335 00:17:24,199 --> 00:17:25,330 that you think is gonna help your career. 336 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,638 But just... watch out. OK? 337 00:17:30,379 --> 00:17:32,555 What are you trying to say? 338 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,210 I'm just saying that there are people out there, who 339 00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:37,864 might not have the best intentions. 340 00:17:38,561 --> 00:17:40,911 And by "people," you mean Barnabas? 341 00:17:41,042 --> 00:17:43,566 And apparently this Otto dude. 342 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,090 Look, you asked for my opinion, Ford, and I'm telling you, 343 00:17:46,221 --> 00:17:48,353 these pics are, are insane! 344 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,399 They're borderline porn, and this stuff, 345 00:17:50,529 --> 00:17:52,227 it lives on the internet forever. 346 00:17:52,357 --> 00:17:54,359 Wait, what are you, what are you talking about? 347 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,057 They're, they're just pictures! 348 00:17:56,187 --> 00:17:57,536 And when you're starting out, like I am, 349 00:17:57,667 --> 00:18:00,191 -you have to pay your dues.-Wait, by doing gay porn? 350 00:18:00,322 --> 00:18:02,889 They're, they're not fucking porn! They're artistic! 351 00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:03,934 All right! 352 00:18:05,457 --> 00:18:09,287 OK, I just... Just please be careful. 353 00:18:09,418 --> 00:18:12,290 I get really, really bad vibes 354 00:18:12,421 --> 00:18:15,163 off of Barnabas. And I wasn't gonna tell you this before, 355 00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:16,991 -but... -But what? 356 00:18:17,121 --> 00:18:20,124 When I walked in on you and him, 357 00:18:20,255 --> 00:18:23,954 in Palm Springs, he had you on the bed, and you were half undressed. 358 00:18:24,085 --> 00:18:26,826 Oh my God! He was taking care of me! 359 00:18:26,957 --> 00:18:29,003 Stop being so paranoid! 360 00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,092 You just don't get it, Uly, you never have! 361 00:18:31,222 --> 00:18:34,008 Things, they, they, like, they work a certain way in this town! 362 00:18:34,138 --> 00:18:36,097 -Oh, ho-ho, apparently! -Yeah. 363 00:18:36,227 --> 00:18:39,100 What is that supposed to mean? 364 00:18:39,230 --> 00:18:41,667 Was that some kinda joke? 365 00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:43,060 You know, you, you think you're so... 366 00:18:43,191 --> 00:18:44,975 smart, and above it all. 367 00:18:45,106 --> 00:18:47,064 But sometimes you can be so naive. 368 00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:50,067 [ laughs ] Really? 369 00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:51,851 You're calling menaive? 370 00:18:53,418 --> 00:18:55,159 Fuck you, Uly! 371 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:56,421 You're just jealous because I'm going somewhere 372 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:57,770 and you're not! 373 00:19:05,387 --> 00:19:06,257 CARLY: Fucking shit! 374 00:19:18,139 --> 00:19:19,096 [ exasperated sigh ] 375 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:23,883 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 376 00:19:24,014 --> 00:19:26,016 Why?! Oh, my fucking... 377 00:19:26,147 --> 00:19:29,280 -God! -♪ Destroy me this way 378 00:19:29,411 --> 00:19:33,241 Oh my... Fuck! I'm gonna fucking kill myself! 379 00:19:33,371 --> 00:19:35,982 ♪ So it cannot hurt you 380 00:19:36,113 --> 00:19:37,332 Hey, Ford? 381 00:19:37,462 --> 00:19:39,203 FORD: Go Away! 382 00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:41,901 ♪ You only have to look behind you ♪ 383 00:19:42,032 --> 00:19:45,035 ♪ At who's underlined you 384 00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:49,387 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 385 00:19:49,518 --> 00:19:53,174 ♪ Destory me this way 386 00:19:53,304 --> 00:19:56,829 ♪ Everything you touch you don't feel ♪ 387 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,396 EMILY: Are you OK? 388 00:20:00,355 --> 00:20:01,747 My vibrator is out of batteries, 389 00:20:01,878 --> 00:20:04,185 and I just bought a fucking family pack! 390 00:20:04,315 --> 00:20:06,448 Vibrators come in family packs? 391 00:20:06,578 --> 00:20:09,146 ♪ Walks you out of the sun 392 00:20:09,277 --> 00:20:12,976 ♪ What you touch, you don't feel ♪ 393 00:20:13,107 --> 00:20:16,806 ♪ Do not know what you steal 394 00:20:16,936 --> 00:20:21,593 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 395 00:20:21,724 --> 00:20:24,335 -♪ Please destroy me this way - [ song fades out ] 396 00:20:24,466 --> 00:20:26,555 [ phone ringing ] 397 00:20:34,258 --> 00:20:36,086 Oh, fuck. 398 00:20:41,047 --> 00:20:43,398 Hey. Hey. Bob, what's up? 399 00:20:43,528 --> 00:20:46,618 No, no. Tonight's my night off. 400 00:20:46,749 --> 00:20:50,709 Huh? No. I'm not... 401 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,059 I'm not feeling so hot myself. 402 00:20:57,151 --> 00:20:58,500 [ sighs ] 403 00:21:00,066 --> 00:21:01,981 Yeah, all right. Whatever. 404 00:21:02,112 --> 00:21:04,506 [ sighs ] 405 00:21:04,636 --> 00:21:06,116 Bye. 406 00:21:18,476 --> 00:21:20,261 The fuck? 407 00:21:20,391 --> 00:21:22,045 [ knocking ] 408 00:21:22,176 --> 00:21:23,568 Come in! 409 00:21:26,484 --> 00:21:28,312 Whoa! 410 00:21:28,443 --> 00:21:31,054 You look like a hot lady from the past. 411 00:21:32,055 --> 00:21:33,361 Where have you been? 412 00:21:33,491 --> 00:21:35,885 What are you talking about? I came right over. 413 00:21:37,843 --> 00:21:40,237 You didn't finish your homework. 414 00:21:42,805 --> 00:21:45,416 Yeah. Sorry about that. 415 00:21:45,547 --> 00:21:47,636 Sit down. 416 00:21:50,769 --> 00:21:53,337 Why did you think... 417 00:21:53,468 --> 00:21:57,254 that it was OK for you to go out and play before finishing your homework? 418 00:21:57,385 --> 00:21:59,038 I, uh... 419 00:22:00,518 --> 00:22:01,911 I don't know. 420 00:22:03,478 --> 00:22:06,307 Do you know what happens to bad little boys in this house? 421 00:22:08,222 --> 00:22:09,745 -They get spanked? -That's right. 422 00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:12,617 They get spanked. 423 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,228 Hand me that ruler. 424 00:22:27,241 --> 00:22:30,287 What do you think... 425 00:22:30,418 --> 00:22:33,682 Daddy would say, if he found out about this? 426 00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:36,206 -Ooh, please don't tell Daddy.-[ slapping noise ] 427 00:22:36,337 --> 00:22:37,555 Ahh. 428 00:22:37,686 --> 00:22:39,340 But you leave me no choice. 429 00:22:39,470 --> 00:22:41,255 Don't tell him, please. I'll do anything. 430 00:22:41,385 --> 00:22:44,519 -[ slap ]-Then why didn't you finish your homework? 431 00:22:44,649 --> 00:22:47,609 -Hmm? [ slap ] Why don't you ever do...-[ moans ] 432 00:22:47,739 --> 00:22:49,698 what Mommy tells you to do? 433 00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:52,440 Why do you always have to open your big fucking mouth 434 00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:55,660 and say annoying shit that makes me want to strangle you 435 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:58,446 -[ slap ] with an electric cord?!-Oh! 436 00:22:58,576 --> 00:23:00,578 -[ slap ] -You never do your homework! 437 00:23:00,709 --> 00:23:03,320 -[ slap ] -You constantly make excuses for yourself. 438 00:23:03,451 --> 00:23:05,931 [ slap ] And then you wonder why you'll never amount to anything. 439 00:23:06,062 --> 00:23:08,891 You need to get your fucking shit together. What, you wanna end up 440 00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:10,458 -[ slapping intensifies ] -back at Carney's waiting tables 441 00:23:10,588 --> 00:23:12,416 -or some fucking shit?! -[ moaning ] 442 00:23:12,547 --> 00:23:13,504 Wait, wait, wait, didn't you work at Carney's? 443 00:23:13,635 --> 00:23:15,201 -Shut up! -[ slap ] 444 00:23:15,332 --> 00:23:16,638 You need to stop being such a stupid,[ slap ] 445 00:23:16,768 --> 00:23:18,248 -annoying, [ slap ] shithead! [ slap ]-[ gasps ] 446 00:23:18,379 --> 00:23:19,641 Shut up and listen to Mommy! 447 00:23:19,771 --> 00:23:21,425 [ intense, punctuated slapping ] 448 00:23:21,556 --> 00:23:24,646 And you need to do your goddamn, motherfucking homework! 449 00:23:24,776 --> 00:23:26,996 [ both panting ] 450 00:23:29,303 --> 00:23:30,434 Fuck. 451 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:43,012 Are you OK, Mommy? 452 00:23:43,142 --> 00:23:44,492 Yes. 453 00:23:44,622 --> 00:23:46,624 Mommy's OK. 454 00:23:46,755 --> 00:23:50,280 I won't tell Daddy how bad you've been. 455 00:23:50,411 --> 00:23:52,978 But as punishment... 456 00:23:53,109 --> 00:23:56,591 You're gonna have to make Mommy come, OK? 457 00:23:56,721 --> 00:23:57,722 Yes, Mommy. 458 00:24:00,769 --> 00:24:03,554 Like this? 459 00:24:03,685 --> 00:24:06,427 -[ sighing ] -Yes, baby, just like that. 460 00:24:07,732 --> 00:24:10,344 Oh, good job, sweetheart. 461 00:24:10,474 --> 00:24:14,043 Fuck, that feels so good, oh my God. Oh yes! 462 00:24:15,436 --> 00:24:17,220 Yes, that's what Mommy likes! 463 00:24:21,485 --> 00:24:23,226 I was just... 464 00:24:31,321 --> 00:24:32,453 Get back to work, little boy. 465 00:24:32,583 --> 00:24:34,542 Yes, yes Mommy. Am I doing good? 466 00:24:34,672 --> 00:24:37,762 Ah, yes, you're doing so good. 467 00:24:37,893 --> 00:24:40,243 Oh, Mommy loves it. 468 00:24:40,374 --> 00:24:43,551 Oh, fuck! Oh, that feels so good! 469 00:24:43,681 --> 00:24:45,814 Oh, fuck! Mommy's gonna come! 470 00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:48,425 Oh my god! Fuck! 471 00:24:48,556 --> 00:24:53,299 Oh! Oh, Mommy's coming! Fuck! Oh! 472 00:25:56,667 --> 00:25:58,669 [ panting ] 473 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,153 [ panting harder ] 474 00:26:05,546 --> 00:26:07,722 [ moaning ] 475 00:26:20,909 --> 00:26:23,041 ULYSSES: What the fuck is happening? 476 00:26:23,172 --> 00:26:25,783 I posted a thread about the lightning bolt hieroglyph. 477 00:26:25,914 --> 00:26:27,829 You know, the one from my dream? 478 00:26:27,959 --> 00:26:31,136 The one that Gabriel has tattooed on his arm. And it's gone. 479 00:26:31,267 --> 00:26:34,400 U. The moderator probably just deleted it, 480 00:26:34,531 --> 00:26:36,707 'cause it made no fucking sense. 481 00:26:36,838 --> 00:26:38,709 Are you doing something right now? 'Cause it, 482 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,276 it seems like you're not paying attention. 483 00:26:40,406 --> 00:26:41,973 Yeah. Sorry, I'm, uh, 484 00:26:42,104 --> 00:26:43,888 I'm just editing the footage that we shot today. 485 00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:45,934 ULYSSES: Really, you are? How's it going? 486 00:26:46,064 --> 00:26:48,023 Shockingly well. 487 00:26:48,153 --> 00:26:49,938 It actually looks kinda good. 488 00:26:50,068 --> 00:26:52,636 Really? Cool. 489 00:26:52,767 --> 00:26:54,682 CARLY: So, dude, seriously, you should 490 00:26:54,812 --> 00:26:57,467 maybe consider laying off the weed for a bit. 491 00:26:57,598 --> 00:27:00,601 You are seething with existential paranoia as it is. 492 00:27:00,731 --> 00:27:03,081 OK. Thanks, Mom. 493 00:27:03,212 --> 00:27:05,649 I don't mean to nag, just think about it, OK? 494 00:27:05,780 --> 00:27:07,825 Yeah, all right, well, I, I gotta... 495 00:27:07,956 --> 00:27:10,001 finish my rounds. Talk to you later? 496 00:27:10,132 --> 00:27:11,481 CARLY: Love you! 497 00:27:11,612 --> 00:27:13,701 Bye. 498 00:27:15,137 --> 00:27:16,486 [ phone beeps ] 499 00:27:29,020 --> 00:27:30,979 ULYSSES: Hey! 500 00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:33,372 You're not supposed to be here! 501 00:27:34,722 --> 00:27:35,940 Wait! 502 00:27:56,482 --> 00:27:57,919 Hey! 503 00:27:58,049 --> 00:28:00,486 Stop! 504 00:28:00,617 --> 00:28:01,575 Come back! [ metal clangs ] 505 00:28:07,058 --> 00:28:09,365 Aah, oh...no. 506 00:28:15,023 --> 00:28:16,851 Aaah! 507 00:28:16,981 --> 00:28:20,071 ♪ Everything you touch you don't feel ♪ 508 00:28:20,202 --> 00:28:23,814 ♪ Do not know what you steal ♪ 509 00:28:23,945 --> 00:28:28,645 ♪ Destroy everything you touch today ♪ 510 00:28:28,776 --> 00:28:32,518 ♪ Please destroy me this way ♪ 37246

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