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00:00:06,510 --> 00:00:08,642
[ Ulysses Voiceover ]
I've always had a simultaneous
fear of,
2
00:00:08,773 --> 00:00:10,949
and attraction toward,
the unknown.
3
00:00:12,777 --> 00:00:15,258
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:15,388 --> 00:00:19,479
it's easy to adopt
a "What difference does
it make?" attitude.
5
00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:22,569
So I often find myself
in these situations
6
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:27,574
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
7
00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:29,533
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
8
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,535
[ man groans ]
9
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,493
-No!
-It's not like I'm brave
10
00:00:33,624 --> 00:00:38,324
or anything, it's more
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:39,847 --> 00:00:42,285
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:42,415 --> 00:00:45,766
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:00:52,208 --> 00:00:54,645
No!
14
00:00:54,775 --> 00:00:55,820
Help me!
15
00:00:56,995 --> 00:00:59,084
[ man groans ]
16
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,088
[ screams ]
17
00:01:03,219 --> 00:01:04,263
[ Ulysses grunting ]
18
00:01:04,394 --> 00:01:07,310
Harder!
Harder!
19
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,267
-[ door thuds ]
-Dave?
20
00:01:08,398 --> 00:01:09,399
Oh, shit!
21
00:01:09,529 --> 00:01:10,356
My husband's home!
22
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,576
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,099
[ stammers ]
What should I do?
24
00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:18,103
DAVE'S HUSBAND:
Dave, where are you?!
25
00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:21,106
DAVE: In here, babe.
26
00:01:21,237 --> 00:01:22,629
-[ Ulysses yelps ]
-[ loud thud ]
27
00:01:34,685 --> 00:01:36,339
[ Ulysses Voiceover ] So yeah,
I realized that one day
28
00:01:36,469 --> 00:01:38,341
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
29
00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:40,821
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
30
00:01:43,607 --> 00:01:45,696
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
31
00:01:45,826 --> 00:01:47,872
[ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ]
32
00:01:50,092 --> 00:01:53,095
I do shit sometimes and
I really don't know why.
33
00:01:56,054 --> 00:01:57,534
To avoid boredom, I guess.
34
00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:00,363
To feel alive.
35
00:02:02,452 --> 00:02:04,671
Just for the fucking
fuck of it.
36
00:02:19,338 --> 00:02:23,560
♪ Give it away now, girl
37
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:28,347
♪ Can't hold down tonight
38
00:02:45,451 --> 00:02:48,193
[ panting ]
39
00:02:48,324 --> 00:02:49,281
Ah.
40
00:02:52,284 --> 00:02:53,242
Sorry, dude.
41
00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:55,505
Whatever.
42
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,204
Hey, Severine.
43
00:02:59,335 --> 00:03:01,467
I thought you were
sleeping out tonight.
44
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,165
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
45
00:03:06,255 --> 00:03:08,909
Anyhoo, please, continue.
46
00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:11,390
Goodnight, Ulysses.
47
00:03:11,521 --> 00:03:13,175
Goodnight.
48
00:03:13,305 --> 00:03:16,308
Night, dude.
49
00:03:16,439 --> 00:03:20,095
ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have
a sort of strange relationship.
50
00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:24,099
We've been roommates
since college
51
00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:27,232
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
52
00:03:27,363 --> 00:03:29,974
I love him unconditionally
53
00:03:30,105 --> 00:03:33,673
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
54
00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:35,414
in his body, we'd
probably be married,
55
00:03:35,545 --> 00:03:39,462
but Ford's that truly
rare Kinsey zero
56
00:03:39,592 --> 00:03:42,334
in contrast to my
ever oscillating four,
57
00:03:42,465 --> 00:03:44,554
which means I'm not
so totally queer
58
00:03:44,684 --> 00:03:48,253
that I haven't rubbed out a
few fantasizing about Severine.
59
00:03:48,384 --> 00:03:51,517
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
60
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,868
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
61
00:03:54,999 --> 00:03:56,914
It's definitely not a vlog.
62
00:03:57,044 --> 00:04:00,352
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
63
00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:03,747
that's in my head to keep it
from like [ lips pop ]
exploding.
64
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:08,012
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
65
00:04:08,143 --> 00:04:10,754
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
66
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,104
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
67
00:04:13,235 --> 00:04:14,888
I could do with my life.
68
00:04:15,019 --> 00:04:17,108
And Ford is that
sad LA cliché,
69
00:04:17,239 --> 00:04:19,415
an aspiring screenwriter.
70
00:04:19,545 --> 00:04:22,418
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
71
00:04:22,548 --> 00:04:26,378
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
72
00:04:26,509 --> 00:04:28,728
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
73
00:04:28,859 --> 00:04:30,817
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
74
00:04:30,948 --> 00:04:32,645
so lacking a better outlet,
75
00:04:32,776 --> 00:04:37,389
here I am talking to
myself in the dark.
76
00:04:45,528 --> 00:04:50,010
But also, there's
something weird going on
77
00:04:50,141 --> 00:04:54,189
that I feel I need to document.
78
00:04:58,105 --> 00:04:59,716
I've been having this nightmare,
79
00:04:59,846 --> 00:05:01,979
the same one over and over,
80
00:05:02,109 --> 00:05:03,937
two or three times a
week for the past month.
81
00:05:04,068 --> 00:05:05,722
MAN: No!
82
00:05:05,852 --> 00:05:07,202
[ Ulysses Voiceover ] And it's
so vivid and freakishly real
83
00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:11,075
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
84
00:05:11,206 --> 00:05:13,033
it's not just a dream,
85
00:05:13,164 --> 00:05:16,254
like it's trying to
tell me something.
86
00:05:16,385 --> 00:05:19,257
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
87
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,216
Carly, I'm being serious.
88
00:05:21,346 --> 00:05:23,435
Don't you ever get
bizarre premonitions?
89
00:05:23,566 --> 00:05:27,265
-No.
-Well, I do and I'm
a double Scorpio.
90
00:05:27,396 --> 00:05:29,354
It's the most psychic
of all the signs.
91
00:05:29,485 --> 00:05:32,401
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
92
00:05:32,531 --> 00:05:35,578
It's like we're teetering on
the brink of total annihilation.
93
00:05:35,708 --> 00:05:38,842
CARLY: Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now
94
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,540
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
95
00:05:41,671 --> 00:05:44,456
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
96
00:05:44,587 --> 00:05:47,242
-Gabriel.
-Mm.
97
00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:49,548
Yeah. We were supposed to hang
out last night, but--
98
00:05:49,679 --> 00:05:54,031
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
99
00:05:54,161 --> 00:05:58,383
Hey, look, this guy's
a gnarly 300-pound catfish.
100
00:05:58,514 --> 00:06:00,820
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
101
00:06:00,951 --> 00:06:02,431
Look, check it out.
102
00:06:02,561 --> 00:06:05,303
-Oh. He is pretty.
-Right?
103
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:08,045
I know it sounds hokey, but I
just get this vibe that we're
destined to be.
104
00:06:08,175 --> 00:06:10,221
Okay, double Scorpio.
105
00:06:10,352 --> 00:06:13,485
Honestly, just looking at
him makes me dizzy and hard.
106
00:06:13,616 --> 00:06:15,182
You know, when I
first met Jethro,
107
00:06:15,313 --> 00:06:17,750
seeing him sneeze
would make me cum,
108
00:06:17,881 --> 00:06:20,623
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
109
00:06:20,753 --> 00:06:25,323
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers--
110
00:06:26,411 --> 00:06:28,631
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
111
00:06:28,761 --> 00:06:29,588
-What?
-[ Jethro moans ]
112
00:06:29,719 --> 00:06:30,850
Teach me!
113
00:06:30,981 --> 00:06:32,983
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
114
00:06:33,113 --> 00:06:34,332
Oh, come on, baby!
115
00:06:34,463 --> 00:06:36,116
Yeah, teach me how
to drive you wild!
116
00:06:36,247 --> 00:06:37,727
Yes, baby!
117
00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:39,076
Make me a student!
118
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:41,078
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
119
00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:42,166
-[ groans ]
-Yeah!
120
00:06:42,297 --> 00:06:44,037
Ah, teach me, baby!
121
00:06:44,168 --> 00:06:44,995
-Come on, yeah!
-Can you just slow down
122
00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:46,475
a little bit, please?!
123
00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:47,998
Teach me, baby!
Teach me!
124
00:06:48,128 --> 00:06:50,130
-Oh, shit.
-And it gets worse.
125
00:06:50,261 --> 00:06:53,351
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
126
00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:55,048
But meditating
gives you anxiety.
127
00:06:55,179 --> 00:06:57,224
Yeah, I know.
128
00:06:57,355 --> 00:06:59,314
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
129
00:06:59,444 --> 00:07:02,708
is just a blank
void of nothingness.
130
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,058
-[ phone buzzes ]
-[ Carly sighs ]
131
00:07:05,189 --> 00:07:06,843
Is it the catfish?
132
00:07:06,973 --> 00:07:08,671
Oh, shit, really?
What'd he say?
133
00:07:08,801 --> 00:07:10,542
That he wants to meet tonight.
134
00:07:10,673 --> 00:07:14,154
Okay, well, my advice,
set the bar low.
135
00:07:14,285 --> 00:07:16,635
Very low.
136
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:23,163
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
137
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:28,081
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I
won't, and I won't be ashamed ♪
138
00:07:28,212 --> 00:07:30,780
♪ Sanctify my sins
when I pray ♪
139
00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:34,436
♪ Oh, oh, oh
140
00:07:34,566 --> 00:07:39,092
-♪ When I pray
-♪ Oh, oh, oh
141
00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,444
♪ You'll find redemption
142
00:07:42,574 --> 00:07:43,575
Hey.
143
00:07:45,055 --> 00:07:47,144
How's the script coming?
144
00:07:47,274 --> 00:07:48,972
I've seen you here before.
145
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,016
Oh.
146
00:07:51,191 --> 00:07:52,758
It's going great.
147
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:53,890
You a writer too?
148
00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:55,108
No.
149
00:07:55,413 --> 00:07:56,849
Actually, I'm a producer.
150
00:07:56,980 --> 00:08:00,375
Oh, no shit.
Cool.
151
00:08:00,505 --> 00:08:02,551
You should send me
one of your scripts.
152
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,077
-For real?
-Yes.
153
00:08:07,207 --> 00:08:10,123
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
154
00:08:11,864 --> 00:08:13,692
Email me.
155
00:08:13,823 --> 00:08:15,477
Oh, wow.
156
00:08:15,607 --> 00:08:18,001
Okay, Mr. Powers.
157
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:21,004
Please. Barnabas.
158
00:08:24,311 --> 00:08:26,618
Ford.
Ford Halstead.
159
00:08:26,749 --> 00:08:29,578
Great to meet you, Ford.
160
00:08:29,708 --> 00:08:32,058
Well, I'll let you
get back to work.
161
00:08:32,189 --> 00:08:34,017
Cool!
I'll email you.
162
00:08:35,018 --> 00:08:36,498
Looking forward to it.
163
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,247
[ phone chiming ]
164
00:08:53,515 --> 00:08:56,169
MAN: They keep fucking me.
165
00:08:57,780 --> 00:08:58,911
I tell them no,
166
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,001
but they keep fucking me.
167
00:09:02,132 --> 00:09:03,525
They keep fucking me!
168
00:09:03,655 --> 00:09:05,222
Fucking me!
169
00:09:05,352 --> 00:09:06,919
And they won't stop.
170
00:09:11,228 --> 00:09:14,840
Please, make them stop.
171
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,452
Make them stop.
172
00:09:39,169 --> 00:09:41,040
Severine Bordeaux.
173
00:09:41,171 --> 00:09:42,520
[ scanner beeps ]
174
00:10:02,714 --> 00:10:04,237
Hello, Severine.
175
00:10:05,891 --> 00:10:07,502
Lars.
Klaus.
176
00:10:09,329 --> 00:10:11,201
Looks like I didn't
miss anything.
177
00:10:11,331 --> 00:10:13,682
Yes, the man is
running late as usual.
178
00:10:13,812 --> 00:10:16,902
I think they keep us
waiting on purpose,
to build anticipation.
179
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,992
And to make our work seem
even more highly
classified than it is.
180
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:22,212
Actually, I heard
this new assignment
181
00:10:22,342 --> 00:10:24,344
is a genuine
priority level one.
182
00:10:25,389 --> 00:10:26,738
Really?
183
00:10:26,869 --> 00:10:27,913
Who told you this?
184
00:10:28,914 --> 00:10:29,959
[ Severine sighs ]
185
00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:32,701
If I revealed my sources,
I'd have to kill you.
186
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,879
[ groans ]
187
00:10:40,578 --> 00:10:41,492
I don't know, Uly.
188
00:10:41,623 --> 00:10:44,669
Sometimes a dream
is just a dream.
189
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:49,456
Yeah, but then, but then
sometimes, sometimes it's more.
190
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:54,026
Dude, do you remember that time
you were so convinced an
earthquake was coming?
191
00:10:54,157 --> 00:10:55,550
You went out, you
bought a bunch of soup
192
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,639
and water and batteries?
193
00:10:57,769 --> 00:10:58,988
[ laughs ]
194
00:10:59,118 --> 00:11:00,163
This is different than that.
195
00:11:01,164 --> 00:11:03,079
Is it?
196
00:11:03,209 --> 00:11:05,908
Anyway, huh, isn't it
awesome what happened today?
197
00:11:06,038 --> 00:11:07,213
What?
198
00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:09,085
That producer gave
me his business card.
199
00:11:10,173 --> 00:11:11,217
Oh, right.
200
00:11:11,348 --> 00:11:12,784
So is he-
is he for real?
201
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:14,438
What do you mean?
202
00:11:14,569 --> 00:11:16,353
As in does he have credits?
203
00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:17,572
That, that aren't porn.
204
00:11:17,702 --> 00:11:20,226
Yeah. I already checked.
205
00:11:20,357 --> 00:11:22,838
Just be careful, okay?
'Cause he could be
a serial killer or--
206
00:11:22,968 --> 00:11:24,361
Okay, paranoid.
207
00:11:24,491 --> 00:11:28,495
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do
208
00:11:28,626 --> 00:11:31,934
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
209
00:11:32,064 --> 00:11:33,370
on, on the rent again,
this month.
210
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,329
Ah, no big.
I got it.
211
00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:38,593
I know, I just,
I don't wanna be a scab.
212
00:11:38,723 --> 00:11:40,638
Hey, I said don't
worry about it.
213
00:11:40,769 --> 00:11:42,901
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
214
00:11:43,032 --> 00:11:45,164
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
215
00:11:45,295 --> 00:11:46,992
[ Ford chuckles ]
216
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,604
Seriously, bro, man,
I'm just so glad
217
00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:51,301
we're out here together.
218
00:11:51,431 --> 00:11:54,173
You and me, man,
living the dream!
219
00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:57,699
[ laughs ]
220
00:11:57,829 --> 00:11:58,743
[ sighs ]
221
00:12:00,571 --> 00:12:02,051
You know what I mean?
222
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:04,793
[ ethereal music ]
223
00:12:14,063 --> 00:12:15,325
Know what?
224
00:12:15,455 --> 00:12:17,936
Why don't we cut the bullshit
225
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:20,112
and go over into those bushes
over there and fuck?
226
00:12:23,072 --> 00:12:24,029
[ snapping ]
227
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,074
You all right?
Yeah.
228
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,337
Yup.
229
00:12:27,467 --> 00:12:28,817
You stoned or something?
230
00:12:28,947 --> 00:12:31,428
[ chuckles ]
231
00:12:31,558 --> 00:12:33,212
-You ready to head back down?
-Yeah, yeah.
232
00:12:33,343 --> 00:12:34,561
-All right.
-Mm-hm.
233
00:12:34,692 --> 00:12:35,737
I'll race you to the bottom.
234
00:12:35,867 --> 00:12:38,783
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
235
00:12:38,914 --> 00:12:41,873
[ "Gosh" by Jamie xx ]
236
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,488
You home already?
I thought you had a coffee date.
237
00:12:50,273 --> 00:12:51,666
[ Amber sighs ]
238
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:56,018
I did. I barely sat down and the
guy asked me if I would rim him.
239
00:12:58,107 --> 00:13:00,979
-Oh.
-Hmm.
240
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,112
What are you doing?
241
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:07,464
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
242
00:13:07,594 --> 00:13:10,597
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
243
00:13:10,728 --> 00:13:12,556
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
244
00:13:12,687 --> 00:13:15,080
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
245
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,388
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
246
00:13:18,518 --> 00:13:20,520
Maybe he was foreign?
247
00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:23,785
I've just encountered
a lot of assholes on there.
248
00:13:23,915 --> 00:13:25,569
It's a numbers game.
249
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,397
I mean, you have a
lot of asshole dick,
250
00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:30,313
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
251
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:34,534
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
252
00:13:34,665 --> 00:13:36,711
Exactly.
253
00:13:36,841 --> 00:13:38,800
I don't know,
I might delete it.
254
00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:42,542
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
255
00:13:42,673 --> 00:13:44,588
That is something
that old people say
256
00:13:44,719 --> 00:13:47,112
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
257
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,898
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
258
00:13:50,028 --> 00:13:51,595
Let me see your profile.
259
00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:53,292
Come here.
260
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,085
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
261
00:14:03,215 --> 00:14:06,784
called Extreme Brunch,
or something.
262
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:13,269
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
263
00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:16,751
Like, like showing
less personality?
264
00:14:19,884 --> 00:14:23,235
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
265
00:14:23,366 --> 00:14:25,455
Yeah, incredible.
266
00:14:25,585 --> 00:14:27,239
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
267
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:30,242
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
268
00:14:30,373 --> 00:14:32,027
[ sighs ]
So, Sev.
269
00:14:32,157 --> 00:14:34,072
Mm-hmm?
270
00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:35,900
We've been seeing each
other a while now
271
00:14:36,031 --> 00:14:40,122
and I was wondering if...
272
00:14:41,993 --> 00:14:44,126
it was cool that
I called you my girlfriend.
273
00:14:44,256 --> 00:14:45,997
You can call me
whatever you want.
274
00:14:46,128 --> 00:14:48,086
I'm not precious
about the terminology.
275
00:14:48,217 --> 00:14:52,395
Okay, so uh, we're like,
exclusive, then?
276
00:14:53,439 --> 00:14:55,137
Ford, we've discussed this.
277
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:57,095
You know I believe that monogamy
278
00:14:57,226 --> 00:14:58,793
is a form of social control,
279
00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:01,317
which is contrary to our nature.
280
00:15:01,447 --> 00:15:03,362
What?
281
00:15:03,493 --> 00:15:05,277
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
282
00:15:05,408 --> 00:15:08,019
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
283
00:15:08,150 --> 00:15:11,501
food, childcare,
sexual partners.
284
00:15:11,631 --> 00:15:13,285
They were very promiscuous
285
00:15:13,416 --> 00:15:15,505
and it strengthened
their relationships,
286
00:15:15,635 --> 00:15:17,246
but then agriculture came along
287
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:19,030
and people became obsessed
288
00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:21,076
with ownership and
private property.
289
00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:23,469
Oh, when was that?
290
00:15:24,819 --> 00:15:27,212
About 10,000 years ago.
291
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,648
Oh.
292
00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:30,912
Is this uh...
293
00:15:31,956 --> 00:15:34,872
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
294
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:37,614
I know you're a
rocket scientist and--
295
00:15:37,744 --> 00:15:39,485
Astrobiological theorist.
296
00:15:39,616 --> 00:15:41,226
And no, Ford,
297
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,881
I actually think
you're extraordinary.
298
00:15:44,012 --> 00:15:47,972
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
299
00:15:50,148 --> 00:15:51,541
Thanks.
300
00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:53,499
It's so magnificent,
in fact,
301
00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:55,850
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
302
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:58,243
Modern relationships
don't last
303
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,203
because we expect too
much of our partners.
304
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:03,335
They need to fulfill
us emotionally,
305
00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:05,729
satisfy us sexually.
306
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:09,037
That's a lot to
ask of one person.
307
00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:13,519
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
308
00:16:14,738 --> 00:16:16,305
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
309
00:16:17,872 --> 00:16:20,875
-Uh, what?
-Nothing.
310
00:16:24,139 --> 00:16:28,447
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
311
00:16:28,578 --> 00:16:31,973
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
312
00:16:32,103 --> 00:16:35,933
the open relationship
thing a try,
313
00:16:36,064 --> 00:16:37,195
I'm down.
314
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:42,374
Really?
315
00:16:43,723 --> 00:16:45,116
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
316
00:16:45,247 --> 00:16:48,032
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
317
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:51,557
I mean it.
318
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,390
Okay, now pretend
like you're laughing
319
00:16:58,521 --> 00:17:01,089
at a cute guy over
there being funny.
320
00:17:01,219 --> 00:17:03,482
But why am I wearing a bikini
in the living room?
321
00:17:03,613 --> 00:17:05,528
No one is thinking
about that, Amber.
322
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,531
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
323
00:17:10,794 --> 00:17:12,143
-[ laughs ]
-Oh, my God, okay,
324
00:17:12,274 --> 00:17:13,449
he's not, he's not like,
that funny.
325
00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:16,626
-He's amusing.
-Okay.
326
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,454
[ chuckles ]
327
00:17:18,584 --> 00:17:20,847
He's mildly amusing.
328
00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:24,068
-[ camera snaps ]
-Perfect.
329
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:29,900
I look mean.
330
00:17:30,031 --> 00:17:31,728
No, you look confused.
331
00:17:31,858 --> 00:17:33,077
You look hot and confused.
332
00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:34,949
That's the ideal combination.
333
00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:36,080
-What?
-[ phone rings ]
334
00:17:36,211 --> 00:17:39,823
Oh, sorry.
Hey.
335
00:17:39,954 --> 00:17:41,477
Oh, my God,
are you watching it?
336
00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:43,435
-Watching what?
-Murderous Minds.
337
00:17:43,566 --> 00:17:45,394
I told you, my
episode's on tonight.
338
00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:46,786
Oh, uh, shit!
339
00:17:46,917 --> 00:17:48,092
Oh, my God,
that's right, babe!
340
00:17:48,223 --> 00:17:49,833
I totally forgot!
341
00:17:49,964 --> 00:17:51,356
That's so exciting!
342
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,445
Fuck, Carly!
343
00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:54,881
Hope you didn't miss me.
344
00:17:55,012 --> 00:17:56,100
I've gotta set the DVR.
345
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,148
-What's happening now?
-What do you mean?
346
00:18:00,278 --> 00:18:02,889
JETHRO: On the show, Jesus!
347
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:05,805
Um, it, it looks like two cops
348
00:18:05,936 --> 00:18:08,373
are investigating
like, a crime scene.
349
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,680
Okay, shit, you're just in time.
It's my scene.
350
00:18:14,118 --> 00:18:15,772
What's happening now?
351
00:18:15,902 --> 00:18:17,426
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
352
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:18,470
Yes!
353
00:18:18,601 --> 00:18:19,906
[ grunts ]
354
00:18:22,257 --> 00:18:23,998
Was that you?
355
00:18:24,128 --> 00:18:25,390
Uh yeah,
what, couldn't you tell?
356
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,741
No, you were amazing.
357
00:18:28,872 --> 00:18:30,047
Ah, I'm sure.
358
00:18:31,657 --> 00:18:32,615
Was I?
359
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,138
Mm-hm.
360
00:18:34,269 --> 00:18:36,184
Yeah, you, you were great,
Jethro.
361
00:18:36,314 --> 00:18:38,664
Oh, hey, Amber's there!
Amber!
362
00:18:38,795 --> 00:18:41,972
-She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
363
00:18:42,103 --> 00:18:46,803
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
364
00:18:47,499 --> 00:18:50,807
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
365
00:18:50,937 --> 00:18:53,070
It's like I'm always
telling you, Carly,
366
00:18:53,201 --> 00:18:54,506
it's about connecting the dots
367
00:18:54,637 --> 00:18:58,206
and maintaining
a positive attitude.
368
00:18:58,336 --> 00:18:59,337
Which is why I really wish
you'd come with me
369
00:18:59,468 --> 00:19:01,035
to meditation class tonight.
370
00:19:01,165 --> 00:19:02,949
Yeah, I know, babe,
but I told you,
371
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,213
I need to work on my
scene for class tomorrow.
372
00:19:05,343 --> 00:19:09,086
Yeah, well, Car,
the road to failure
is paved with excuses.
373
00:19:09,217 --> 00:19:10,870
[ phone beeping ]
374
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:12,829
Hey, babe, can we
continue this later?
375
00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:15,571
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
376
00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:18,835
I'm almost to work anyway.
Just wanted to share my
moment of glory with ya.
377
00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:21,011
You were awesome, babe.
378
00:19:21,142 --> 00:19:23,361
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
379
00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:26,408
Great.
Okay, see ya.
380
00:19:26,538 --> 00:19:29,672
-Hey.
-Gabriel is 43
fucking minutes late.
381
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,283
Like I said, low bar.
382
00:19:32,414 --> 00:19:34,981
What should I do now?
Should I leave?
383
00:19:35,112 --> 00:19:38,115
[ chuckles ] Are you kidding?
You lost all your dignity
like, 28 minutes ago.
384
00:19:38,246 --> 00:19:40,552
I know.
Am I tragic?
385
00:19:40,683 --> 00:19:42,076
Don't, don't answer that.
386
00:19:42,206 --> 00:19:43,816
I was really hoping
to, you know,
387
00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:45,340
finally solve the
mystery of, oh, shit.
388
00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:47,124
-CARLY: What? Is he there?
-Yeah.
389
00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:49,083
-I'll call you back.
-Okay, bye!
390
00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:54,914
Ulysses.
Oh, man, I am so sorry.
391
00:19:55,045 --> 00:19:57,003
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
392
00:19:57,134 --> 00:19:59,528
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
393
00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:01,965
-and, and my phone died--
-It's, it's okay, it's okay--
394
00:20:02,096 --> 00:20:03,836
Don't worry about it.
395
00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:05,751
Seriously though, I'm
big on first impressions
396
00:20:05,882 --> 00:20:09,015
and I feel so fucking bad.
397
00:20:09,146 --> 00:20:11,627
Well, you're here now, right?
398
00:20:11,757 --> 00:20:13,150
That's, that's all that matters.
399
00:20:13,281 --> 00:20:14,195
Yeah.
400
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:16,762
[ upbeat music ]
401
00:20:20,157 --> 00:20:23,943
[ "Diamond Veins" by French 79 ]
402
00:20:42,484 --> 00:20:47,184
♪ Blood felt, joy of life
403
00:20:49,491 --> 00:20:50,709
Whoa.
404
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,233
Holy crap, baby.
405
00:20:52,363 --> 00:20:53,625
[ Carly chuckles ]
406
00:20:53,756 --> 00:20:56,019
Hey, Smokey.
You miss me?
407
00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:57,890
Sure did.
408
00:20:58,021 --> 00:20:59,718
I want to drink you
up like a piña colada.
409
00:20:59,849 --> 00:21:04,593
Good, because I've
been a really bad girl.
410
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,812
-[ loud slap ]
-[ gasps ] Ooh!
411
00:21:06,943 --> 00:21:08,901
-[ loud slap ]
-Ah!
412
00:21:09,032 --> 00:21:10,338
-[ loud slap ]
-[ moans ]
413
00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:12,905
NERD: I really want to get
to know you, the real you.
414
00:21:13,036 --> 00:21:14,951
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
415
00:21:15,081 --> 00:21:16,822
finger myself or something?
416
00:21:16,953 --> 00:21:19,173
Could we just talk first?
417
00:21:19,303 --> 00:21:22,480
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
418
00:21:22,611 --> 00:21:27,137
Well, I uh, I have always
wanted a job I could do lying
down.
419
00:21:28,007 --> 00:21:29,052
Hm.
420
00:21:30,184 --> 00:21:31,707
Show me!
421
00:21:31,837 --> 00:21:33,709
Show me, you deviant
little whore.
422
00:21:33,839 --> 00:21:36,146
You're so pitiful and weak!
423
00:21:36,277 --> 00:21:38,104
Just looking at
you makes me sick.
424
00:21:38,235 --> 00:21:40,194
Get on your knees!
425
00:21:40,324 --> 00:21:44,415
Damn. I so wish I hadn't
scheduled band practice for
tonight.
426
00:21:44,546 --> 00:21:46,896
Ah, it, it's cool.
427
00:21:47,026 --> 00:21:48,550
It's just that a
couple of weeks ago,
428
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,117
I, I declared this
embargo on hookups.
429
00:21:51,248 --> 00:21:53,076
I mean, you know
they're fun, obviously,
430
00:21:53,207 --> 00:21:57,950
but I always just feel,
well, gross and pagan after.
431
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,605
Yeah, no, uh,
I know what you mean.
432
00:22:02,172 --> 00:22:03,869
So I, I made sure
to make plans
433
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,959
so that no matter
how hot you were,
434
00:22:07,090 --> 00:22:10,572
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
435
00:22:12,661 --> 00:22:14,576
No, it's, it's okay,
I totally get it.
436
00:22:17,579 --> 00:22:19,885
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
437
00:22:20,016 --> 00:22:21,713
Definitely.
438
00:22:21,844 --> 00:22:23,976
-Oh, shit!
-What? What?
439
00:22:24,107 --> 00:22:27,023
I fucking forgot
to charge my phone!
440
00:22:27,153 --> 00:22:30,635
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
441
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:32,898
That sucks.
442
00:22:34,335 --> 00:22:37,294
I guess we'll jus-
we'll just have to hang out
443
00:22:40,297 --> 00:22:42,995
again soon--
444
00:22:43,126 --> 00:22:47,739
-[ car horn honking ]
-[ men shouting ]
445
00:22:50,568 --> 00:22:51,743
Come on.
446
00:22:51,874 --> 00:22:54,572
[ gentle music ]
447
00:23:00,099 --> 00:23:01,579
No, wait.
448
00:23:01,710 --> 00:23:04,103
-What?
-[ sighs ]
449
00:23:04,234 --> 00:23:05,801
I'm not blowing this, am I?
450
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,804
What do you,
What do you mean?
451
00:23:08,934 --> 00:23:10,893
Well, I'm gonna see
you again, right?
452
00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,503
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
453
00:23:12,634 --> 00:23:15,550
No, no, no, you're
not fucking this up.
454
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,161
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
455
00:23:21,991 --> 00:23:23,775
Handjobs only, though?
456
00:23:23,906 --> 00:23:24,863
What?
457
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,083
For tonight, just handjobs?
458
00:23:28,214 --> 00:23:29,520
And save the rest for later?
459
00:23:30,521 --> 00:23:32,175
Yeah. Yeah.
460
00:23:32,306 --> 00:23:33,829
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
461
00:23:33,959 --> 00:23:35,352
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
462
00:23:39,617 --> 00:23:41,140
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
463
00:23:41,271 --> 00:23:44,274
WORM: Mm-hm.
Can you wiggle them?
464
00:23:44,405 --> 00:23:45,884
Like this, you mean?
465
00:23:46,015 --> 00:23:48,974
Yeah, keep wiggling.
Keep wiggling.
466
00:23:49,105 --> 00:23:50,236
Worm, you know
you need to ask me
467
00:23:50,367 --> 00:23:52,543
more respectfully than that.
468
00:23:52,674 --> 00:23:54,937
Please.
Please wiggle your toes for me.
469
00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:56,765
CARLY: Much better.
470
00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:58,462
Hell yeah.
471
00:23:59,724 --> 00:24:00,638
Keep wiggling.
472
00:24:00,769 --> 00:24:02,640
More, more wiggle.
473
00:24:03,554 --> 00:24:05,077
Oh, God.
[ moans ]
474
00:24:05,208 --> 00:24:08,211
[ both moaning ]
475
00:24:09,430 --> 00:24:10,648
-Oh!
-God!
476
00:24:10,779 --> 00:24:13,434
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
477
00:24:13,564 --> 00:24:15,523
[ groaning ]
478
00:24:15,653 --> 00:24:17,786
-Oh!
-Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
479
00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:20,354
[ both groan ]
480
00:24:20,484 --> 00:24:23,182
[ all groaning ]
481
00:24:32,627 --> 00:24:35,064
[ both panting ]
482
00:24:35,543 --> 00:24:36,457
Fuck.
483
00:24:41,070 --> 00:24:42,854
MAGENTA: What can I
do for you, Mistress?
484
00:24:42,985 --> 00:24:44,116
I'm here to please you.
485
00:24:44,247 --> 00:24:45,640
I'll do anything you want.
486
00:24:47,729 --> 00:24:51,210
How about you do
30 naked pushups?
487
00:24:51,341 --> 00:24:53,125
Would that make Mistress happy?
488
00:24:53,256 --> 00:24:54,692
To be honest, no.
489
00:24:54,823 --> 00:24:56,781
I just-
I don't really care.
490
00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,566
Well, what would
make you truly happy?
491
00:24:58,696 --> 00:25:00,132
I'm here to serve you.
492
00:25:02,221 --> 00:25:03,179
Really?
493
00:25:05,529 --> 00:25:08,967
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
494
00:25:09,098 --> 00:25:11,100
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
495
00:25:11,230 --> 00:25:13,407
Yeah, I'm gonna
pass on that one.
496
00:25:13,537 --> 00:25:15,191
But you said you
would do anything.
497
00:25:15,321 --> 00:25:16,845
Well, I know, but--
498
00:25:16,975 --> 00:25:18,324
Well, okay, well,
what if I like,
499
00:25:18,455 --> 00:25:19,543
take my top off while I do it?
500
00:25:19,674 --> 00:25:20,588
Okay, sure.
501
00:25:20,718 --> 00:25:22,459
Cool. Great.
502
00:25:22,590 --> 00:25:23,591
Okay.
503
00:25:23,721 --> 00:25:28,030
So, you're Anne,
504
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,901
and I'm Mary, okay?
505
00:25:31,425 --> 00:25:32,600
Okay.
506
00:25:34,558 --> 00:25:38,606
Do you feel as
awful as you look?
507
00:25:38,736 --> 00:25:41,826
Why would you come here
if all you wanted to
do was torment me?
508
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,306
Hey, you're good.
509
00:25:43,437 --> 00:25:44,873
Hey!
510
00:25:45,003 --> 00:25:46,135
-[ snaps ]
-Stay in character!
511
00:25:46,265 --> 00:25:47,179
Next line.
512
00:25:47,310 --> 00:25:48,180
ULYSSES: Wow.
513
00:25:52,271 --> 00:25:54,143
That was kind of intense.
514
00:25:54,273 --> 00:25:55,187
Yeah.
515
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,147
[ panting ]
516
00:26:03,239 --> 00:26:05,241
Seriously, I mean
what was that?
517
00:26:05,371 --> 00:26:07,243
Was it, was it just me or
did, did it feel like
518
00:26:07,373 --> 00:26:09,898
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
519
00:26:10,028 --> 00:26:10,942
No, I felt it too.
520
00:26:13,597 --> 00:26:14,859
I'm almost afraid
to see what happens
521
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:15,991
when we actually have sex.
522
00:26:18,123 --> 00:26:21,649
Look, I, I realize
that we just met
523
00:26:21,779 --> 00:26:25,740
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
524
00:26:25,870 --> 00:26:30,527
but something strange
seems to be going on here.
525
00:26:32,964 --> 00:26:34,705
Yeah.
526
00:26:34,836 --> 00:26:36,925
Yeah, I mean, it sort of-
it sort of feels like
527
00:26:38,753 --> 00:26:39,841
-fate.
-Fate.
528
00:26:45,586 --> 00:26:47,370
But I- got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
529
00:26:47,501 --> 00:26:49,241
Right, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
530
00:26:49,372 --> 00:26:52,810
So uh, so when do I get
to see you next?
531
00:26:52,941 --> 00:26:54,508
Well, whenever.
I mean, whenever you--
532
00:26:54,638 --> 00:26:57,423
-How about tomorrow?
-Tomorrow's great.
533
00:26:58,424 --> 00:26:59,338
Cool.
534
00:27:00,557 --> 00:27:01,558
Oh, fuck.
535
00:27:06,302 --> 00:27:08,478
Okay, shit.
536
00:27:08,609 --> 00:27:09,784
Now I really got to go.
537
00:27:09,914 --> 00:27:11,873
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
all right.
538
00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:15,703
[ gentle music ]
539
00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:33,634
Holy fucking shit!
540
00:27:36,201 --> 00:27:37,115
-[ loud crash ]
-[ yelps ]
541
00:27:37,246 --> 00:27:38,377
[ loud thud ]
542
00:27:42,381 --> 00:27:43,557
Ow!
543
00:28:13,021 --> 00:28:15,937
[ ethereal music ]
544
00:28:16,067 --> 00:28:17,547
Help me!
545
00:28:19,288 --> 00:28:20,855
Please!
546
00:28:27,992 --> 00:28:29,037
Please, help me!
547
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:32,083
No!
548
00:28:34,042 --> 00:28:35,609
Oh, God!
549
00:28:35,739 --> 00:28:38,046
No! No!
550
00:28:44,835 --> 00:28:46,794
[ groaning ]
551
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,233
Oh, God, no!
552
00:28:52,930 --> 00:28:53,931
No!
553
00:29:00,938 --> 00:29:02,070
No!
554
00:29:03,114 --> 00:29:04,246
Help me!
555
00:29:05,682 --> 00:29:06,901
Please!
556
00:29:07,031 --> 00:29:07,945
Help me!
557
00:29:08,076 --> 00:29:08,946
[ hisses loudly ]
558
00:29:09,077 --> 00:29:10,992
[ screams ]
559
00:29:12,776 --> 00:29:16,214
[ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ]
560
00:29:26,964 --> 00:29:30,794
♪ Give it away now, girl
561
00:29:30,925 --> 00:29:33,971
♪ Can't hold
39223
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