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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,038
Oh, quick, Bud.
3
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,152
Change the channel.
It's sweeps month...
4
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,153
...so Christian Slater's
gonna show America his butt.
5
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,030
Kelly, now, this may come
as a surprise to you...
6
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,430
...then again, the fact
that people can ride...
7
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,871
...upright in the backseat of a car
came as a surprise to you.
8
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,516
There are far more important things
than Christian Slater's butt.
9
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:46,030
Now, for instance, the president's
giving an important press conference.
10
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,157
We interrupt the press conference...
11
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,909
...for live coverageof Christian Slater's butt.
12
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,315
Move over, kids.
It's time for our favorite talk show.
13
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,870
But, Mom, we were watching
the president's press conference.
14
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,277
That jogging's
been doing him some good.
15
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,919
Live, from Chicago...
16
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:19,711
...it's Jerry Springer,the masculine feminist.
17
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,749
Good evening, women,I'm Jerry Springer...
18
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,231
...and I am proud to be livingin your world.
19
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,956
Before we start, I wanna take a momentto apologize on behalf of all men...
20
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,034
...for the disgusting wayBurt has mistreated Loni.
21
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:42,668
Good move, Burt.
22
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:46,754
And Cop and 1/2? Good movie too.
23
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,438
I mean, when are men
gonna realize...
24
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:55,231
...that women are this world's
most precious natural resource?
25
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,517
Except, of course, for our sponsor.
26
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,955
I Can't Believe It's A Tampon.
27
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:11,274
It feels so natural you're gonna wishit was always that time of the month.
28
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,114
A masculine feminist.
What does that mean?
29
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,069
It means he likes show tunes.
30
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,110
Would that they all did.
31
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,635
Jerry has the hottest
talk show around.
32
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,031
Is he gonna show his butt?
33
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,716
Jerry is politically correct.
34
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,350
He's keeping his butt
covered until all women are free.
35
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,310
I wish Al would.
36
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,752
At least until all women
were warned.
37
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,275
Well, Jerry's not just a talker.
He's a doer.
38
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,830
Last week he found out there was no
bowling alley in this part of town...
39
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,838
...with a ladies-only night.
So Jerry did something about it.
40
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,155
We had a bloat-in.
41
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,994
A hundred of us waited
until we were really grumpy...
42
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:03,074
...then stormed the bowling alley and
chained ourselves to the ball returns.
43
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,596
Which, in hindsight,
turned out to be an error.
44
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,557
At least those little blower things
were kind of enjoyable.
45
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,114
But what's important
is that Jerry helped women...
46
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,749
...finally get a bowling night,
which is tonight.
47
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,958
- Some guys lost their bowling night.
- Yeah, I wonder who.
48
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,553
Hi, honey. I'm home.
49
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,672
Why am I early
on what used to be my bowling night?
50
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,831
Good question.
Thank you for asking.
51
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,477
Well, as I entered the bowling alley
ready for an exciting night...
52
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,676
...of bonding, brewskies
and barfing...
53
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:53,358
...what did I see?
Women. Bowling. Overhand.
54
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,239
Naturally, I went up
to one of these donut depositories...
55
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,839
...and said in my nicest voice:
56
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,550
"Wedge it out the door, beefalo,
it's my night to bowl."
57
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,435
Instead of coming back at me verbally,
like I did...
58
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,995
...they took their doughy fists
and they pounded on me...
59
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,277
...until a mutual agreement
was reached that I leave.
60
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,753
Anyway, when I regained
consciousness in a burning trash can...
61
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:19,317
...I realized, A, Thursday nights
is now ladies' night...
62
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:24,270
...and B, you don't wanna know
how a bum puts out a trash-can fire.
63
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,555
Congratulationsto those fine women in Chicago...
64
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,990
...for what they achievedat Jim's Bowl-A-Rama.
65
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,597
That's the pantywaist that cost me
my bowling night.
66
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:39,628
Now we've gotta get the bowling alleyto enlarge the women's restroom.
67
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,030
And what about motherswho wanna nurse?
68
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,874
I propose a lactation lounge.
69
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,478
I propose a dairy farmer.
70
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,757
Quiet, Klingon.
71
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,359
Let's take some phone calls.
72
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,715
Well, believe you me,
this outrage shall not go unavenged.
73
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:03,111
- Al, don't you think women deserve--
- No!
74
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,752
Just don't embarrass us, honey.
75
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,759
- Is the caller there?
- Al Bundy here.
76
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,319
Too late.
77
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,632
Now, listen here, Jerry.
Bowling is a man's sport.
78
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,031
If God had wanted women to bowl,
he would've put breasts on backs...
79
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,397
...so we would have something to watch
while waiting our turn.
80
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,230
And where are youcalling from, sir, 1952?
81
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,636
I wish. Ike was in the White House,
women were in the kitchen...
82
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,269
...and you were in the closet.
83
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,196
And you forgot to mentionwhere you were, sir.
84
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:46,719
I suspect in a zoo someplace, throwingyour feces at a passing tourist.
85
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,434
Once again, I wish.
86
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,596
Enough of that call.Let's take another one.
87
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,233
You and your thundering herds...
88
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,948
...may think you won,
but let me tell you something.
89
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,549
Thursday nights have always been
men's bowling nights.
90
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,832
And mark my words.
Next Thursday men will be bowling!
91
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,719
All right, nice spare, Jim.
92
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,911
If you shift
your weight to your rear foot--
93
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,833
This is ridiculous.
I worked hard all week.
94
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,150
I'm not gonna sit home
on bowling night.
95
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,356
Well, we can't go back
to the bowling alley.
96
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,238
Those women are too strong.
97
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,438
We can't go home. We're too weak.
98
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,318
Hey, I got it.
We can go to a movie.
99
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,949
- Hey, yeah.
- Yeah.
100
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,033
Hey, Peg.
101
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,669
Peg, do we have a paper?
102
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,752
Thank you.
103
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,555
All right, let's see what's playing.
104
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,835
Hey!
105
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,835
Here's a gripping drama
about a newlywed couple...
106
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,076
...waiting for their furniture to arrive.
107
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,636
It's called, Where, Oh,Where is the Mayflower Man?
108
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,477
- Any boobs?
- William Hurt and Glenn Close.
109
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,910
- Oh, jeez.
- Sounds like it blows.
110
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,680
We could go to the newsstand
and buy a magazine.
111
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,310
- Yeah, but where could we hide it?
- How about in your wife's hair?
112
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,518
How about in your wife's chin?
113
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,192
- Come on, now!
- Come on.
114
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,715
Come on, they're making us turn
against each other.
115
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,629
- There must be something we can do.
- I know where we can go.
116
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,714
To the last great bastion
for the American red-blooded male.
117
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,872
Where there is no such thing
as ladies' night.
118
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,478
At the nudie bar!
119
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,195
Where a buck's enough
to see their stuff.
120
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,635
At the nudie bar!
121
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,156
Where the breasts may be fake,
but, man, do they shake.
122
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,391
At the nudie bar!
123
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,598
Where you swear like a sailor
and wish you could nail her.
124
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,592
At the nudie bar!
125
00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,196
Where the cops are at the door
and there's a Kennedy on the floor.
126
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,750
At the nudie bar!
127
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,635
Nudie bar.
128
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,549
Hey, this is great.
It's better than bowling.
129
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,598
You can work up a sweat
without working up a sweat.
130
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,352
You know, I haven't been in here
since they jazzed up the place.
131
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,556
And they even put up a curtain.
132
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,916
And the mirrors are gone.
133
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,917
Well, some things don't change.
134
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,470
Gentlemen, present dollars.
135
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:42,191
Hooters! Hooters! Hooters! Hoot--!
136
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:47,868
Tonight...
137
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,072
...I would like to dedicate
this poem...
138
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,072
...to my ovaries.
139
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,111
I don't think
we're in Kansas anymore.
140
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,353
My eggs, my eggs
141
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,679
He begs, he begsTo be the father of my eggs
142
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,358
My eggs, my eggs
143
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,912
Oh, swim to meet my eggs
144
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,316
Boy, they really hit us
where it hurts this time.
145
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,276
Turning the nudie bar
into a coffee house.
146
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,671
What're we gonna do
with our Saturday nights?
147
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,515
We could play bonbon toss
with your wife.
148
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,277
Yeah, we can play peanut toss
with the elephant you call your wife.
149
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,512
Come on.
150
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,593
Doesn't the Constitution
guarantee us the right to life...
151
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,149
...nudity and the pursuit
of happiness?
152
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,953
Are you sure that's "nudity"?
153
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,317
Life, nudity, yeah.
154
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:17,788
This is the last straw.
155
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,272
I say it's time we stood up
to the onslaught of this "womaninity."
156
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,714
They've taken everything.
157
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,430
I say it's time that we take
something away from them.
158
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,919
Live, from Chicago...
159
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,351
...it's Jerry Springer,the masculine fe--
160
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,589
Tonight's broadcast
of The Masculine Feminist...
161
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,991
...has been commandeered
by the secret society "No Ma'am."
162
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,791
National Organization of Men
Against Amazonian Masterhood.
163
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,793
I would reveal my true identity,
but for political reasons, I cannot.
164
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,519
But do not take me lightly.
165
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:21,231
I once scored four touchdowns
in a single game for Polk High.
166
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,469
Hey, Daddy once scored
four touchdowns too.
167
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,871
That is Daddy, you mud flap.
168
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:36,958
And that's Mr. D'Arcy,
and Mr. Anderson and Bob Rooney.
169
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:41,637
Boy, if Marcie finds out about this
she'll be down there in a second.
170
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,235
Gee, I wonder if she's watching.
171
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,511
Well, I guess so.
172
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,069
Every day for the past 30 years...
173
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:56,074
...you high-heeled pit bulls
have blamed us for everything.
174
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,197
From not being able
to get into Harvard...
175
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,432
...to not being able
to get into stretch pants.
176
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,477
We've been called "pigs."
177
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,358
We've been called "scum."
178
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,672
We've even been called
"plywood-bottom."
179
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,275
Or at least I have.
180
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,717
Well, we're sick and tired of this.
Now, we have a list of demands.
181
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,351
If these demands are not met we are
going to take this masculine feminist...
182
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,797
...and perform television's
first "sexorcism."
183
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,755
Tell them what that is, Jefferson.
184
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,520
- My name is Hank.
- Oh, right.
185
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,272
- Sorry, Hank.
- That's okay, Al.
186
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,632
Anyway...
187
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,231
...if our demands go unheeded...
188
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:57,076
...not only will we force Jerry
to watch hours of pro wrestling...
189
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,790
...but we'll force him
to watch it in these.
190
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,350
A stinky, yellowed undershirt...
191
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,314
...and a pair of boxers which read:
192
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:10,950
"It's all me."
193
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,156
"It's all me" boxers,
courtesy of Mr. Bob Rooney.
194
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,118
I mean, Dirk Rooney.
195
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,079
Back to you, Al-- Clyde.
196
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,594
Hell.
197
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,273
Demand one:
198
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,158
You gals want a ladies' night?
199
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,073
Try having it in the kitchen,
cooking for a man.
200
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,908
Demand two:
201
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,720
Don't put on a dress and ask us
if it makes you look fat.
202
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,638
We hate that.
203
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,715
Besides, it's not the dress
that makes you look fat.
204
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,793
It's the fat that makes you look fat.
205
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:53,594
Demand three:
206
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,877
Don't ask us to talk
or cuddle after sex.
207
00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:01,910
Or before sex, or during sex.
You're lucky we take our pants off.
208
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,190
You take your pants off?
209
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,309
How do you get them
over your shoes?
210
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,319
Demand four:
211
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,597
Don't ask us to say I love you
over the phone.
212
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,512
It's hard enough to say to someone...
213
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,393
...we're paying a dollar
a minute to talk to.
214
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,192
Demand five:
Stop talking about Fabio.
215
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:27,069
Yeah. With his long, flowing
blond hair and 48-inch chest...
216
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,074
...we're the ones
who should be talking about...
217
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,994
Anyway, those are our five demands.
218
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,593
We had five more written down...
219
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,957
...but somebody couldn't
blow his nose without a hanky.
220
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,558
So, ladies, you've got 30 minutes--
221
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,031
Which, of course,
is two hours in woman's time.
222
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,517
--to address these demands,
or we'll--
223
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,034
We'll--
224
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,149
- Ready.
- Break!
225
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,234
Or we'll go for burgers.
226
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,870
It didn't make any sense, did it?
Wait a minute.
227
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,152
What about Berkowitz?
228
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,834
We could change our name to that.
229
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,552
- No.
- Can't spell it.
230
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,079
Let's see, what about--?
What about Borden?
231
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,231
Can't spell that either.
232
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,429
- What can you spell?
- Cat.
233
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,315
So let's go to the K's.
234
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,755
Now, I don't want everyone to think...
235
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,150
...that we at No Ma'am
are totally anti-woman...
236
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,796
...so we found a typical working
woman. I'd like to introduce her to you.
237
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:51,511
Coming live to you from the Club
Squish, Miss Bubbles Double Dee.
238
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,117
Ms. Dee.
239
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,439
You're a working woman.
240
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,671
What do you think of Roe v. Wade?
241
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,395
Gee, I don't know
that much about boxing.
242
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,677
But I'd like to go out to dinner
with whoever wins.
243
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,189
Let's take some questions
from our audience, shall we?
244
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,873
All right.
245
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,750
Would you jump up and down?
246
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,838
Yes.
247
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,480
All right, next question.
248
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,110
Can you do that again?
249
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,196
I'll try.
250
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,752
All right, all right, all right.
Now there, a typical working woman.
251
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,878
Al Bundy, you sloth.
252
00:17:56,120 --> 00:18:00,159
You toad. You two-toed sloth.
253
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,834
This is no man.
254
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,311
This is Al "Oink Oink" Bundy.
255
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:11,111
Why the mask, Al? Take it off.
Let the world see your snout.
256
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,590
You call yourself a--
257
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,711
Stop it.
258
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,076
You call yourself a man,
but you're a coward.
259
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,596
- You're all cowards.
- Yeah!
260
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,437
- Honey, did you shut off the phone?
- Yes.
261
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,750
- Stop the mail?
- Yup.
262
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,195
- Did you cancel the newspaper?
- Yes.
263
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,116
But won't the D'Arcy's be mad?
I mean, it's their paper.
264
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,873
Honey, the D'Arcy's
have bigger problems.
265
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,509
All right, Bud and Kelly Kat.
266
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,599
Let's go.
267
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,839
The Kat family.
268
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,470
Good choice, you blond airhead.
269
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,036
Mom, do you know
where we're gonna live?
270
00:18:56,240 --> 00:19:00,119
No. But wherever it is
at least we'll be together...
271
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,351
...unless I can find someplace great.
272
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:09,076
Now, about your demand
to not talk during sex?
273
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,231
The only reason we ask you to...
274
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,392
...is so that we know
when you're finished.
275
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,159
Oh, yeah? Well--
276
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,399
- You're a chicken.
- Yeah!
277
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,912
And if it's true we spend
so little time in the kitchen...
278
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,516
...then how come you spend
so much time in the bathroom?
279
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,352
Because--
280
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,272
Because...
281
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,112
- ...you're a chicken!
- Yeah!
282
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,514
So in conclusion...
283
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,557
...we don't wanna take over
everything...
284
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,588
...we just want equality,
fairness, to be appreciated.
285
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,356
After all, you need us
more than we need you.
286
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,949
You're in No Ma'am's land now, baby.
287
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,513
So let's set the record straight.
288
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:20,754
You need us jar-opening,
oil-changing, spider-squishing...
289
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,595
...furniture-rearranging men
a lot more than we need you.
290
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,558
Yeah!
291
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,957
All right, you have a point.
292
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,237
There are some occasions
when women do need men.
293
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,357
Yes!
294
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,318
Well, like tonight for instance.
295
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,120
I need some men
so I'm going to call them.
296
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,679
Oh, gentlemen.
297
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,949
You again, Bundy?
298
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,754
Where were you when I got
mugged out in front of my store?
299
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:58,472
Where were you last week when I
got mugged outside of your store?
300
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,231
Hi, honey. I just wandered in.
301
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,550
- What's happening?
- Get in the car.
302
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,031
- But Al and them made me--
- Get in the car.
303
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,633
Hey, aren't you Jerry Springer,
the masculine feminist?
304
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,030
- Yes, I am.
- Tie him back up.
305
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,719
What the--?
306
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,310
I hate that guy.
307
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,551
This may be the end
of No Ma'am for now...
308
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,394
...but it's not the last
you'll here of it or me.
309
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,871
Peg, kids, come and get me. Please.
310
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,678
Who's that guy?
311
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,036
Oh, he's doing community service.
312
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,518
My eggs, my eggs
313
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,030
Above my legs
314
00:22:06,305 --> 00:22:12,528
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