Original subtitles

Press Room

Okay

Hold everything for a new front page

We're jimmying the Allenbury yarn Hey, Mack, hold everything

Wait for a makeover

- What happened, Allen? - Don't load anymore

- Hold it, boys - Unload all of them

We're trying to kill a story Have any trucks gone out?

- How about it, Joe? - Number 7

Call him back

But he's gone Times Square and Columbus Circle

Rush a motorcycle after him Hurry up

We've got to get those papers back Every one

Pete, get on your machine and stop truck number 7

Okay

Phone all the stands on that route not to sell any papers

Are you ringing Haggerty? All right, all right Try him again

- Go to Haggerty's apartment 52nd Street - I know where he lives

Won't he be at church? Isn't he getting married at noon?

You grab a taxi to the church Bring him here

- I can't ruin his wedding - Then it'll be our funeral

Step on it Keep on ringing him

Don't answer it I've had enough gags pulled on me this morning

Maybe Miss Benton again I'm afraid

You're afraid? I'm marrying her, and you're afraid

That's loyalty

She say before, "If you're late, she going tear down church"

Even that won't stop it

No, Ching, I promised I'd meet her at the altar at the stroke of 12:00

And there'll be no reprieve from the governor this time

- I hope you'll be very happy - Yes, said the spider to the fly

- Very pretty - I'm the groom, not the bride

Take my advice, Ching Don't ever get married

Maybe not so bad, Mr Haggerty My mother and father, they get married

You're kidding

Here's to the last mile

A merry marriage and many happy comebacks

Mr Haggerty

- What's wrong? - You're wanted at the office right away

Good old governor Good old office

Run to the church and tell Miss Benton I've been delayed

It's awful to bust up your wedding

Never mind the wedding Something break?

- The story they had to kill - What story?

The London correspondent cabled last night

A swell story on the Allenbury girl

Connie Allenbury? What kind of story?

She was mixed up in some scrape at a garden party

Tried to steal another girl's husband

- Not Connie Allenbury? - Yes, sir

All right, what happened?

Jackson cabled this morning It was all a mistake

It was somebody else She wasn't at the party

And we printed the story? Holy mackerel Come on

Wait You said not to stop for anything

but you've got to have your pants

Yeah, yeah I gotta have my pants

Can't I stay away for one day without somebody pulling a boner?

You call yourself a newspaperman Where's your nose?

- My nose? - Yes, your nose

That thing fairly reeks of alcohol

Jackson was drunk You got to smell things like that

You don't need any brains All you need is a nose

- I knew the boss hated her father - And her father hates us

He'd blow us up, and you hand him dynamite

The one girl that we should handle with kid gloves

and you spread her name over the front page What?

- What'll we use for a headline? - I don't care

"War threatens Europe"

- Which country? - Flip a nickel

Yes, sir

The boss is here He wants you right away

Does he want me or my job? Have you got a drink?

There's a fresh bottle on your desk I thought you'd need one

I'll need it, and how

I knew I'd find you with a drink in your hand

- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

What? Didn't Ching tell you?

Yes, Ching told me, and I told him, and now I'm telling you

I won't stand for it

You can't do this to me, Warren Haggerty Not to me

First it was a fire at sea Then it was a kidnapping

- What's the gag this time? - Darling, there's no gag

- The newspaper's made a mistake - So has little Gladys

Engaged to a newspaperman Joe Simpson never treated me like this

- Then why did you divorce him? - I've asked myself that many times

Gladdie, after all, you got no kick

I haven't? First, you said a trip to Bermuda

- You went to Bermuda - But alone Then it was Europe

If I wait another year, it'll be Little America I won't

- I tell you, I can't get away - It's not Europe It's the church

It only takes 20 minutes to get married

- But, Gladdie, the trip - I'll take Battery Park

I'm going to take you on the greatest trip a girl ever had

just as soon as we settle the suit

Nothing doing For two years I played second fiddle to this paper

But the boss is waiting for me

The preacher's waiting, too Get your hat

I can't go

the paper's in a jam We're facing a libel suit

You're facing a breach of promise suit If you don't want to marry me, say so

Gladdie, you're getting yourself all upset, darling

- A little drinkie, maybe? - Not today I don't

Today, I get married

- Well, l - Didn't they say I wanted to see you?

Say, what is this?

Do I own a paper or a lunatic asylum?

- You just took the words out of my mouth - Mr Bane, my future wife

Nonsense I'll be in my office

Get rid of this woman

Take it easy, that's the owner of the paper

I don't care who he is Nobody talks to me like a house detective

How do you know how a house detective talks?

Don't you think I read? Where are you No, you don't If you think that you can

Gladdie, darling Now, you tell the preacher to wait

and I'll phone you just the minute I'm free, and we'll get married today

Now, that's a promise

Tomorrow at this time, you'll be a married woman

I swear to it Joe, come here

Will you show Miss Benton to a taxi?

And this is supposed to be the happiest day of a girl's life

Yes, ma'am

Why doesn't London answer?

I want J B Allenbury This is terrible, Haggerty

- A mistake like that can ruin - What do the lawyers say?

An open-and-shut case Pure libel and slander We haven't a leg to stand on

And now, I've got to get on my knees to Jim Allenbury

a man I fought for 20 years, never giving an inch

They're ready with London, Mr Bane

Wait a minute Let me talk to him

You know how he hates you I'll take all the blame

You know nothing, not even that I'm phoning

- Then if I fail - You mustn't

Tell him it was just a mistake

Maybe he doesn't know anything about it Only 50 of those papers got away

Hello? Hello, London? Yeah, we're ready

Hello? Hello, Mr Allenbury?

This is Warren Haggerty of the New York Evening Star

You know the Star?

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way about us, Mr Allenbury

Yes I realize that we've fought in the past

but it's always been a good, clean fight

No Nothing serious

But the early edition of the paper carried a little item about your daughter

Not that the item was serious at all, but I just thought I'd phone you

Yes Yes, that's it, exactly The spirit of fair play

I appreciate that spirit of fair play, Mr Haggerty

but you see, my office cabled me a copy of your little item

What?

Yes, indeed Hardly what I'd call innocent

but typical of Hollis Bane and everything that his newspaper stands for

No, I'm not interested, Mr Haggerty You can discuss that with my attorney

Now, hold on a minute

This is Charles Archibald, of Archibald, Davis, and Wingert

We're filing suit immediately through our New York office

- You'll receive the papers tomorrow - Just a minute, Mr Archibald

Don't forget to mention the amount we're suing for

That should interest them

By the way, you might inform your Mr Bane

Miss Allenbury is asking damages for $5 million

$5 million

She's insane, she's mad

There never has been a libel suit for $5 million

There ain't that much money

She's got all the money in the world now

It's not money they're after

It's the paper It's me For 20 years, I've fought Allenbury

Kept him out of the senate

And when they wanted to make him ambassador, I stopped it

- $5 million - Their chance to strike back, and they are

The paper will go

Look what a lawsuit did to New York Daily last year

That's not going to happen to us

We haven't begun to fight yet We've been sued before, big suits

They were after money and were glad to settle

Allenbury will settle, too, when we get through with her

Remember the Farrell girl?

That was open-and-shut, till we got busy on her

You can't do that here

There's never been a word of scandal about Connie Allenbury

Not yet, but she's human and I'm gonna throw a man at her

You're not suggesting a frame?

No But we've got to get to this girl

and I'm gonna bring in the best man we ever had

Who's that?

A guy that will beat anybody in the world

from Gandhi to Garbo Bill Chandler

Bill Chandler? Yes

Now, you fired him, the best man we ever had on libel

- You admit it, and you fired him - Yes, and I'd do it again

He was a vain, double-crossing heel Tried to run the paper

- Thought he knew more about it than I did - And was right

He's the only man who can swing this case

Get him

I'll have him here in an hour

Long distance New York calling Mr Adams

of The Chronicle at Washington, DC

All right, put Haggerty on

Hello, Haggerty This is Adams of The Washington Chronicle

Chandler left here over a year ago, headed for Denver

Try The Courier

Sure, I know him Chandler left Denver four months ago

And the boss's wife almost followed him to San Francisco

That guy is dynamite

He worked here, but he wasn't with The Express two weeks

when he quit and left San Francisco

One of the girls here received a Christmas card from Singapore

Anyone in this great settlement knowing the whereabouts of William Chandler

will please communicate with station ZHM, Singapore

Keep the lines open If anything comes in, let me know I'll be here

He left Singapore three months ago How about Australia?

I can try Sydney He was always crazy about the races

Okay, but rush it Send another SOS to the syndicated press

and cable London and Berlin

- Do anything, but find him - Maybe that guy's dead

It would be just like him to die at a time like this

Hello

In case you don't know it, it's 2:00 in the morning, and I've been asleep

What do I do? Put the dress in mothballs for another trip?

Change it for a straitjacket and order one for me

- You ought to get some sleep, boss - No This coffee will fix me up all right

I press suit up quick Maybe you try him again this afternoon

- Throw him in the nearest ashcan - One trail leads to Sydney

The other one to Shanghai

Both report the whereabouts of Bill Chandler unknown

Call up that detective agency, see if they can find him

Chandler? You mean Mr Chandler

- the fellow who used to work here? - Yes

- I know where he is - What?

Sure, he's a good friend of mine

Just last week, he gave me $10 for my mother

- She's been sick - What's his address?

He's at the Grand Plaza

The Grand No, that can't be the Chandler we want

Don't you mean Bill Chandler

who was always giving you the raspberry?

Yeah That's the fellow Tell the cable office we found him

- Right under my nose - Shall I get him?

No, I want to talk to him personally, feel him out a little

So he's living at the Grand Plaza He must be in the money

Warren Haggerty From Brooklyn to Bombay

a stab in the back spells Haggerty

I never stabbed you in the back, Chandler, and I want

After all, that was a long time ago, and we should

Bury the hatchet Or was it a knife?

- Now get this, Chandler, I didn't knife you - You only tried to

That was two years ago We should

- Let bygones be bygones - Why, sure Whatever happened

Is all over now Goodbye It was nice to see you

Good morning Cigarettes, please Give my regards to the boys at the office

You still at the Star? Old man hasn't gotten wise to you yet

Soon, you'll be out on your ear

then the Star will be a first-class sheet

Listen here, Chandler If you're

By the way, what are you doing for yourself, Bill?

I just finished writing a book, Warren

All about my early hardships, the newspaper business

and the rats I met running about

- Lf you mention me in that book - Sue me for libel

How is the libel these days?

You got a good man on the hush stuff?

Yeah, we get along

Where did you go when you left us?

The intelligence department, Warren

I always did like contrast Cheerio

- What's your hurry? - Breakfast time

- It can wait I got an idea - I'll take breakfast

I want to talk to you

Warren, you weren't like that when I left

- This is a proposition - Not before breakfast

- I haven't got time for breakfast - That's too bad Goodbye

- Good morning, captain - Good morning, sir

- Table for one - Table for two

Very well, sir This way, please

- More coffee, sir? - No, thanks

Now, Warren, what's on your mind?

I've been thinking, Bill After all, you're a darn good newspaperman

Maybe I was a little hasty when l

You don't mean to give me back my job?

- That's it - Wait a minute

You want to talk business? All right, I'll talk

You're in a jam over the Allenbury girl

You printed a hot story and she's suing you

- Who told you? - Elementary, my dear Watson

I read the story First edition only, carried by no other paper

That, says I, is the fine Italian hand of Haggerty

the bull in the china shop

- What's she asking? - $5 million

Who does she think she is?

Just one of the richest girls in America

Yes, I know all about her

Title-crazy, with a fatheaded old father to buy her in and out

America's international playgirl That's her rep

and she thinks it's worth $5 million

When I get through with her, she'll take five cents

- Done You're on the payroll - No, Warren No philanthropy

During the six months that I was on the Star, I saved you, all told

some $300,000 What did I get?

$125 a week

That's the proposition, drawn yesterday

I've been expecting you for 24 hours

$5,000 down and $45,000 more when you Why, you're crazy

No other reporter gets that much money It's robbery

All right Forget it You read any good books lately?

- Now, be reasonable, Bill - Take it or leave it Wait a minute

On second thought, I don't want the job at any price

I got all the money I need right now Look here

I just got this from my publisher

offering to advance me $5,000 for a second book

- Let's just forget about this - Now, wait a minute

You ought to be arrested for extortion

You must have dropped this, sir

- What is this? - That is a letter

I get it

So your publisher is going to send you a $5,000 advance?

$700 behind with the hotel, you mean

- Not now, I'm not - I knew I was a sap to believe

That's right, you were But you'll get your money's worth

Now, here's the plan

Allenburys are in London

So I sail for England at once

But they're coming back in 10 days

That's why I'm sailing, to come back with them

Five days on a boat Anything can happen on a boat

I meet the girl Perhaps she comes to my cabin

- No Not this girl - Only for a cocktail

Perfectly innocent to her, me, and everyone on the boat

Except our private detective, who radios my wife

- You got a wife? - No This is a setup, not a confession

But we hire some attractive girl to marry me

and when the time comes

she stages a pretty little scene over her erring husband

and sues Connie for alienation of affection

That's it, that's it

The Star called Connie a husband-stealer She denies it

We duplicate the situation This time, she does steal a husband

This time, we're right

Let her go to bat with a libel suit and see what she collects

But how about a girl to marry you? Do you know anybody?

Now, that's tricky

We've got to find someone we can trust

I've got the girl, the very girl

Hello

What happened to you?

Do I want to get married?

What do you think? I'll call the preacher right away

The city hall? Then I can't wear my wedding gown

I won't ask any questions And don't keep me waiting

Tiny? Tiny, come here

I'm so happy Today is my wedding day

What, again, Miss Gladys?

You can't do this to me, Warren Haggerty Not to me

Let me out of here

For two years, you've had me on a merry-go-round

waiting for that gold ring, but this is where I get off

- and stay off - Be quiet

I won't be quiet

The things I've taken for that newspaper

but this gets the blue ribbon, trying to marry me off

to that baboon

Let's not deal in personality

But, darling, it's only for a month, maybe less

Then six weeks in Reno

And, Miss Benton, they've got the loveliest place in Reno

You'd love it You can play craps there every night

That's right, that's right

I'll come the moment you get divorced

But I don't want a divorce I want to get married and stay married

If you don't want to marry me, say so

Of course I want to marry you, but don't you understand, Gladys?

This comes first It's our only chance I'll get fired

There isn't a newspaper in the world

that would hire me as an office boy Would they, Bill?

- Not if they know you like I do - What do you mean?

You remember poor Ed Glover?

You remember after he lost that libel suit?

They found his car gone over a cliff and a revolver in his hand

- Do you want me to kill myself? - Did you change your insurance?

Would I ask you to do this thing for me

if I didn't consider you practically my wife?

Would you ask your wife to hook up with that ape?

The ape objects

Darling, you're not marrying him, really

A wedding ceremony, six hours in a hotel apartment

during which time I'll never leave you, and then he leaves for Europe

- Don't talk to me I'm leaving - Wait a minute I'm leaving The deal is off

Here's your contract $50,000

- I wouldn't hook up with her for $1 million - Now, Bill, you know the spot I'm in

That's your tough luck You'll have to get a new boy

- You mean you're walking out on him? - That's it, sister

You know what the Star means to him

you're a newspaperman You know

It'll ruin his life It'll ruin his career A fine friend you are

- Lf you put it that way - I'm putting it that way

- Good I'll get the guy - The things I do for that newspaper

"And I pronounce you man and wife"

Aren't you going to kiss the bride?

Yes Sure

May I?

Why not? Everybody else seems to be doing it

Aren't you going to kiss me?

Sure, sure

An old friend of the family

Yes

Darling

Very old friend

I hope you'll be very happy

and don't forget to invite me to your silver anniversary

It'll have to be within the next six weeks

Goodbye, and good luck

Goodbye Good luck to you

- Take his arm - I'm taking your arm

Yes

Send it up, and send a waiter, please

Right away? Thanks That's the wire you sent me

There will be a bellboy and a waiter to witness the very tender scene

when we learn that I'm called to Europe

Now, remember, won't you? You're all broken up

He is torn from your arms, the bridegroom of an hour

- That's too long for me - To my little bride

I hope you choke on it

- Darling - Don't call me that

You know what my name is

- Of course, Mrs William Chandler - I'd just as soon have a number

- Come on, now You mustn't fight - Why not? We're married

You're supposed to be happily married

You're supposed to be in love with each other

I must have been crazy to let you marry me off to another guy

But let me tell you this, Warren Haggerty

From now on, you've got to forget the paper and take me places

I can't take you places, you've got to stay in the apartment

You can sew, sleep, and play the radio

- Maybe you could learn to read - You're not going to take me out?

Honey, I can't take you out

You can't be seen running around with another man

You're supposed to be married You've got to look married

Maybe twins would help

Now, remember, remember

- Yes? - Telegram for Mr Chandler

- Just wait Clear the table, please - Yes, ma'am

Bill, there's a telegram for you

Thanks, sweetness Would you open it for me, honeykins?

Bill

- What is it? - Read it

- What does it say? - It's from the office

"Lmperative you sail Queen Anne tonight for director's meeting in London

"Reservations arranged Anderson will meet you Bon voyage"

You can't leave me Bill, you mustn't leave me

Baby, this is terrible, breaking into our honeymoon like this

But what am I to do, honey? I'll have to go

You can't

It's only for a couple of weeks, Mrs Chandler

But a couple of weeks are a couple of weeks

- I'll miss my little Billikins - And I'll miss my little fuzzy-face

I'm afraid you'll have to hurry if you're gonna make that boat

Yes, that's right Here, boy

Just take my grips here These leather ones are mine

Sure was a lucky thing that I didn't unpack

Waiter, thank you very much

Darling, I'll miss you every minute

Every second

Hold it They've gone Save it for the elevator

- Well, for the - Here comes the elevator

The bride and groom

Darling, I'll miss you every minute

Every second

Goodbye, old man

He's gone

The maid

Why, he'll come back, Mrs Chandler

- How do you do, Mr Chandler? - Hello

- Sailing back with us so soon, sir? - I only came to London for three days

- Lf there's anything I can do, sir - Thank you

Everything is set Palmer's gonna take the smack

Fine Tell the boys to lay it on heavy

Here they come Beat it I'll see you on the boat

Boys Here they come now Chandler says lay it on heavy

Mr Allenbury, excuse me, sir

There's been a bit of a mix-up on your baggage

- Come with me - Shall I attend to it?

I'd better go with you, Graham Wait here, Connie

Will you make a statement for the press?

Are you suing for L1 million?

- What are your chances of winning? - I've nothing to say

Miss Allenbury, you must be able to tell us something

- No, nothing - Surely, you'll make a statement

Will you please let me go?

- You can't afford to ignore the press - Can't I?

Turn her around, Palmer

Take your hands off of me

Watch the dicky bird, ducky

Just a minute

Obviously, the young lady doesn't wish to be photographed

That's none of your affair

Now, clear out, all of you

Hello

Connie, are you all right?

Yes, dear, I'm all right

This is an outrage You men ought to be arrested

We'll fix him That was William Chandler, the author

- Remember that name, Graham - Yes, sir William Chandler

I ought to have charged that blighter L10 instead of L5

Come in

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Mr Allenbury's compliments

Will Mr Chandler join him for cocktails before dinner?

- Mr Allenbury? - Mr JB Allenbury

The lady you rescued from those reporters today is Mr Allenbury's daughter

Yes I'll be delighted to have cocktails with Mr Allenbury

- 7:30, the Grill Room bar - 7:30 Thank you

- You rang, sir? - Yes Steward

do you know if they have any books in the ship's library on angling?

- Angling, sir? - Yes You know, trout fishing?

Yes We have several Shall I fetch you one, sir?

Yes, just bring me all of them

- All of them, sir? - Yes

The best rainbow-trout fishing is found in Lake

Taupo Lake Taupo, New Zealand

The best rainbow-trout fishing is found in Lake Taupo, New Zealand

Lake Taupo

The best rainbow-trout fishing is found in Lake Taupo, New Zealand

Now, the best rainbow-trout fishing is found in Lake Taupo, New Zealand

Yes

Mr Allenbury has been delayed by a ship phone call from America

- but he asked that you order Do sit down - Thank you

We appreciated what you did this morning Most unfortunate

- Here's Mr Allenbury - Sorry to be late, Mr

- Chandler - Chandler Have you ordered?

- A dry martini, please - The same

Now, if you'll excuse me

- Did we hear from the bank? - Complete accounting

And Jennings, shall he meet you in Washington?

No, he'd better come to New York and fly down with me

That's the only time that I'll have Be sure that the plane is ready

- It's ordered for noon - Good

Now, young man, I want to thank you

for what you did this morning, both for my daughter and myself

- Quick thought on your part - I rather enjoyed it

As a matter of fact, newspapers and I are not very good friends

One time in Chicago, I sent a reporter to a hospital

- My publishers never forgave me - Publishers?

Yes I'm a writer

Indeed?

Just now, I'm doing some fishing yarns

Really?

Yes

Well, Father?

Connie, my dear, I wasn't

- I want you to meet Mr - Chandler

Mr Chandler The man who saved your life

Yes, indeed Thank you so much

I thought you were with those people from Plymouth

I ran out on them I simply can't be bothered with people you meet on boats

I'm glad that we met on the dock

- A mint frapp� - Yes, miss

I should apologize for the scene I caused

Waiter, never mind I won't have any

Mr Charmers

- Chandler - Mr Chandler is a writer

How amusing What do you write?

Father, guess who's with us

Mrs Burns-Norvell, and that dreadful daughter of hers

We elude them in Europe, and now we meet them on the same boat

Now we're in for it They'll be asking us to dinner

Not if we see them first I've been ducking them all day

Are you having fun, Mr

My plane Father, did you cable about my plane?

- Leave it in storage I've chartered one - But I want my own

I'm dying to feel the stick in my hands again

Do you fly, Mr Charmers?

Chandler Oh, yes, I've

I've flown across with Lindbergh a couple of times

But my favorite sport is fishing

Sorry, Mr Allenbury, it's 7:30

Thank you for joining us

If ever we need your help again, I hope you'll be on hand

It's been so nice to see you

Good evening

Here they are, Mother

Connie Connie, my dear

We've been looking for you all over the boat

My dears It's so nice to see you both again

Bert will be so pleased that we're crossing together

- How are you, Mrs Burns-Norvell? - And you're joining us for dinner

I won't take no

It's my birthday, I'll be 21 at midnight

- I'm very sorry - No, no excuses

We'd love to, but you see, Connie

I'm sorry if I'm late, JB, but I had to send a very important wire

Shall we go in to dinner now?

- Yes - We're dining with Mr Charmers

Mrs Burns-Norvell and her daughter, Barbara

How do you do?

Can't we all have dinner together?

- They're going to talk business - Yes

You see, I'm a writer

and Mr Allenbury and I are doing a book together

But too wonderful You must tell me all about it tomorrow

- I'm always up for lunch - Yes

Well, we're indebted to you again Thanks

That was fast thinking

I suppose we'll have to have dinner together now Shall we?

Three, sir?

Father, you're in luck

Your favorite fish, brook trout

Do you care for trout?

Do I care for trout?

The one thing in the world that I care for is trout

in any shape or form

Especially on the end of a line

You're an angler?

I'm on my way now to Glen Arden

all set to prove they'll rise to a Parmacheene Belle

No, not this early A Royal Coachman, perhaps

Or maybe a Pink Lady by visible, but not a Parmacheene Belle

- I've caught them - Not at Glen Arden

I know I've fished Glen Arden I've tried it

Father

shall we say trout?

What a sport

To feel the trout on your line

to play him, to reel him in

- There's no thrill in the world like it - Just one that beats it

When you first see him

Not yet on your hook, but rising to the bait

I stand corrected

I remember once, in the high Sierras, I was using a Wickham's Fancy

- No, a grizzly wing - Father

for two hours we've had nothing but fish

My dear, I was only telling him about my trip to the Sierras

Perhaps you'd like to dance? Shall we?

- Did you ever fish the Rockies? - Have I?

Fisher Falls Gluckman's Point

Gluckman's Point?

I'm afraid that dancing isn't exactly my line

I should say it was part of your line

- May I be frank, too? - Why not?

You dance superbly

I was hoping for something original

Dear, life is so full of disappointments

- Sorry - Just the lurch of the boat

Afraid I wasn't concentrating

It was your eyes

Beautiful, aren't they?

They remind me

Yes, I know

Sparkling diamonds, deep sapphires

No, they remind me of angry marbles

Connie, darling You must have luncheon with us tomorrow, promise?

I've a bone to pick with you

I'm afraid l

I'm sorry, but we can't work on our book without Connie

She's our inspiration

I thought that was rather clever

Yes I thought you thought so

Don't I get a vote of thanks?

Oh, by all means

It just dawned on me that I seem to have made myself

a permanent member of your party

Yes It's dawned on me, too

Shall we sit down?

So, you've fished Gluckman's Point? You're an angler, all right

I should say Mr Chandler is quite an angler

Will you both excuse me? I'm quite tired

- See you tomorrow - I think not

I'm going to read books the rest of the trip

- You're not ill, my dear? - Oh, no

That'll give you a chance to talk fish till New York

I could talk fish from here to Shanghai

Couldn't you, Mr Chandler?

Yes, yes, and back again

- Good night, Dad - Good night, dear

Good night, Mr Chandler

Don't keep father up too late with your fish stories

Gluckman's Point?

Glasses?

How do I look?

Nobody in the world will know you

Fine That's the idea

Catching up on your reading?

Remember me?

Oh, yes I just left Father

He's enjoyed his three-day fish fest

So have I

- He's waiting for you - He won't mind waiting

You don't know Father

You know the man I know the angler

It's nice you have so much in common I won't detain you

Goodbye, Mr Chandler

Goodbye

You've got to help me

I'm in a bit of a jam with the Burns-Norvells

I've been trying to duck them, but they finally caught me

Cocktails and dinner tonight

How nice I'm sure you'll enjoy it

Wait a minute, now It's your turn to come through for me

After all, I inherited them from you

I'm going to tell them that you and your father

will also join me for cocktails before dinner

Mr Chandler, you think of the sweetest things

Now when the Burns-Norvells arrive

- you come in without your father - Father gets all the breaks

And announce that he wants to see me right away

A brilliant idea for our book

and that we'll have to work the whole evening

See, could you do that?

Good, then cocktails in my stateroom at 7:00

- In your stateroom? - Yes

You see, the bar is too near the dining room

Oh, I see

- Your stateroom at 7:00? - That's right

- Splendid - All right Until then

7:00 She'll be alone with me in my stateroom

Give us about 10 minutes

Swell How did you manage it?

She thinks I've invited a lot of other people

How do you do? Are we late?

Late?

So sweet of you to send a message by Connie

asking us to have cocktails with you

She asked you to

She said that you were too bashful to ask us yourself

Where is Miss Connie now?

- We needn't worry about Connie - We forgot to tell you

Connie isn't coming She has another headache

Mr Chandler? Where are you?

- Hello - The inevitable Mr Chandler

- How was the cocktail party? - Delightful

So sorry I couldn't come I trust the Burns-Norvells consoled you

I found them very charming

Far superior to many people one meets on boats

Yes Babs is one girl in a million And so rich, too

- Or didn't you know that? - At least she has good breeding

Then

- Everything went off all right? - Oh, yes

In fact, I'm glad now that you didn't come

You are?

Why this change of heart?

You're so fragile

- Fragile - Yes, you damage so easily

- Damage? - Sues for $5 million

That fascinates me

Asks $5 million damages

- So the Burns-Norvells told you - It gave me a new light on you

Who is this marvel, I said, Florence Nightingale? Jeanne d'Arc?

What has she done to earn such a precious reputation?

- Found a cure for death and taxes? - Aren't you being a little absurd?

- Aren't you? - Wait a minute, you don't understand

Do be careful It might break

I'm not accustomed to handling anything so delicate, so valuable

That should be touched only by royalty, dukes or earls

As a matter of fact, you should be kept under glass

And that is the last I saw of Miss Connie until we reached New York

Five days on a boat, and she slaps your face

- That's fine progress - So the wonder boy lays an egg

- Would you hush your girlfriend? - Say, listen, nobody's hushing me

I've got my ticket to Reno, my reservations at the hotel

- and even my lawyer - Postponed only

A million-to-1 we'll never see them again

You lose He's already invited me for a weekend of fishing

Just you and the father?

What do I do, bust in on you and the old man?

Connie will be there I'll take bets on that, too

That wasn't any farewell slap

- When? - We're driving up tomorrow

Perfect Alone in the mountains, away from the world

The next night, Gladys and I No I'd better stay away

- Just Gladys - What, alone?

And a detective Connie rushes from her room

You come from yours, follow her down

- What'll I wear? - Flashlights The case is in the bag

Nice work I knew you'd deliver

I think I'll wear the pink I look awful cute in pink

- There's only one hitch - Hitch?

- Fish - Fish?

I've told him fish stories that would curl your hair

and I've never even had a rod in my hand

- I'll have an instructor here in the morning - In the morning?

Him? Here? Where am I supposed to be?

Now, it'll be all right, Gladys

- You're gonna leave me here alone? - I'm here

It'll be all right It's just a business arrangement

It's mighty funny business, if you ask me

Where are you going?

To get some bedclothes I'm sleeping out here

You see, it'll be all right

Bill out here and you in there

Do you mean to tell me that you're willing for me, your fianc�e

- the girl that you love - Please

I've done plenty for you and the Star

but there's a time to draw a line, and I'm drawing it

I trust Bill like he was a brother

Yeah, but he isn't my brother He can't even speak politely

- He insults me with every breath he takes - Pipe down You'll hurt his feelings

Bill, I'll have that fisherman here the first thing in the morning

The first false move, I'll leave

Unless I'm cuckoo, I'll be out before midnight

It'll be all right, darling Good night, Bill, good night

- Good night, darling - Good night, old man

Hello?

Flowers?

On the way up?

Oh, yes Thanks

Open the door, will you?

There are some flowers on the way up

We gotta get these bedclothes out of here

Hurry up

I've lost the keys

Good morning

Where did you get that key?

The front-door key always fits both doors

- You mean that key was there all night? - Naturally

- For Mrs Chandler - Of course, just wait a minute

For me, Billikins?

Yes, my little fuzzy-wuzzy

They're lovely Thank you, sugar pie

How did you know white roses were my favorite flowers?

What?

Haggerty sent those

Haggerty never sent me flowers before

No? It's all part of the plan

I'm gonna get some breakfast

I thought the plan was to stay here and look married

- Lf you don't mind - I don't mind if you don't mind

I don't mind if you Who started this?

What do you want for breakfast?

Breakfast You know, fruit

Will you have some more coffee, Bill?

No

This certainly looks married, a little too married to suit me

I'm sorry Here, have a piece

- Try the funnies - No, I wanna talk

You do?

Well, all right, let's talk

- Who goes first? - I'll start

You are a strange egg

- I bet you say that to all the boys - I'll get it

- Good morning Mrs Chandler? - Yes

I'm Evans from the Angler Supply Company

- I've bought some supplies - Bring them right in

And this is Mr Chandler

Good morning, Mr Evans

I've brought everything, a complete outfit

You'll have no trouble learning to fish with this equipment

No, sir The elbow low and close

Muscle has nothing to do with it

It's the natural spring of the rod, sir

Too bad I'm not fishing for curtains I'd be sensational

Now suppose you break your leg, then you can stay home

That's what I call constructive

I was just trying to help

Now, a little patience, sir Try again And remember

- the elbow low and close - Low and close

Bull's eye Give the gentleman a cigar

I don't quite seem to get it

It's your wrist, sir Keep it easy and fluid

like rippling water This way, sir

Darling, don't you want to powder your nose or something?

And miss this? Not for the world, sweetheart

Pretend there's a 5-pound beauty in yonder pool

just behind the jutting boulder

Mrs Chandler, would you mind stepping down here to the corner of the table

- and bending over? - Now I'm a jutting boulder

I'll be a tall, spreading tree just behind you

Don't forget the wrist

Remember, there's a man on second

I know I'm never gonna get this I was never cut out to be an angler

Look, this is the way I would do it

- You did it, sir - I'll say he did it And how

That cast, sir Why, not one angler in 50

can master the underhand stroke

- Underhand is right - You mean it's all right?

It's perfect, sir Could you do it again?

- Not with this boulder, he can't - Like a backhand at tennis

- Perfect, sir - Yeah?

This is what makes life worth living

A breath of this early morning air is worth all the medicine in the world

Certainly is

We're not keeping you up, are we?

Me? No I'm always up at the crack of dawn

Here we are, Chandler My favorite spot

How do you like it?

Fine, splendid

Very much like the Lake Taupo country, New Zealand

Go ahead, we'll give you the first cast

Yes

I tell you I think I'll go on up the way

where the ripples are faster and the brush is sparser

This is going to be good

I still bet he can't fish

Nonsense He's the best-informed man on angling I've ever met

- Father, darling, you're a sucker - Now listen to me, young lady

I know a first-class angler when I see one

Yes, and a first-class man, too

- Lf he's first-class, I'll travel steerage - What did you come up here for?

You had a weekend all planned in town

I didn't want to see my favorite father tossed to a wolf

- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about that

He's after something, and it isn't fish Look at those new togs

A new rod

Watch this

Great guns

I take it all back He's good

Good? He's magnificent I wish I could master that underhand cast

I've got one

A beauty

So have I I've got his brother

Another one

Not having much luck, are you, Mr Chandler?

I'm surprised you're not catching any fish, Mr Chandler

It won't be long now

I wonder if Mr Chandler's having any luck

Don't worry about him He's a real outdoor man

Dad, look

Walleye He's hooked Walleye

But he'll never land him He'll never land him

Reel him No Let him play Give him some line

Reel him out Reel him

Here, hold his head up

Don't net him

Don't net him You did

Boy, what a beauty

- How'd you do it? - I just followed the book The hook

Walleye You've got Walleye

- Who? - Walleye

The biggest, most elusive trout in Glen Arden

We've been fishing him for two years and you got him

- It was nothing - Nothing, you say?

But I'm ashamed of you, spoiling his sport with a net

Nine-tenths of the fun is reeling him in

I know I'm sorry I was so excited

Unhook him

- What? - Yes

- Unhook him - Yes

That is, no

You invited me up here, so you should have some of the glory

- So you unhook him - I don't like to spoil your fun

No That's quite the contrary

There's plenty of glory to go all around

It's mighty sporting of you to let me do this

Not at all

I think a toast is in order, if you don't mind

Hear, hear To Walleye, king of trout

How have the mighty fallen

Undone by a Parmacheene Belle

and I thought his weakness was a Pink Lady

Another batch coming up

Say, you certainly have a way with the griddle

- She's a remarkable girl - I'm beginning to think you're right

- I resent the understatement - Just a spoiled brat

- Service - Yes, sir Coming up

Bulls eye

Never miss Queen of the flapjacks

- Father? - I must think of my figure

A 20-minute walk, if you can spare me, then eight hours of sleep

- But we need help, Father - No more for me

Where's my pipe? Alex?

Lmagine, you and a flapjack How'd you ever get together?

And they laughed at me when I sat down on the griddle

I still think it's a trick

Nothing in my hands Nothing up my sleeves

I know It's all done with mirrors

Young man, there are many sides to my nature

Depths you'd never dream of

- I'll make a study - Do

- How'd you like a swim in the moonlight? - Swim?

Later on You do swim?

Yes Almost as well as I dance

Then you'll drown

- Isn't it awfully cold? - Extremely Do you mind?

What, me mind? My intimates call me "Polar Bear" Chandler

We're only 20 miles from the place We'll be there in 45 minutes

But I'm not supposed to show up until midnight

What's the difference? You'll bust in on them a half an hour earlier, that's all

You'll find cigarettes over there under the lamp

Thanks

- Say, you're pretty palatial up here - Like it?

- I think it's grand - I always come down for a plunge

I've even stayed here all night No, thanks

- What? Here, alone? - Yes, there's nothing to be afraid of

Pretty neat

I like music with my moonlight

You know, you're a funny kid

That's what you seem like up here, a kid

Very different from the girl I met on the boat

I feel different

This place, it's all tied up with my childhood

The trees, the air, the water Even the frogs

I'm mad about frogs

I love it We've always had heavenly times up here

Every minute completely filled, like today

- Yes It's been perfect - It has, hasn't it?

Almost too perfect

And it's costing me a fortune, young man

What?

I'm paying dearly for this day of fun

Meaning?

It's my own fault for daring to bet with Dad on men

I'm a rotten judge of men

Well, aren't we all?

I bet him a new plane that you'd tip your hand in the first 24 hours

It's rather sporting of your father to back a dark horse

Dad's a grand judge of character He placed you right away

Impetuous, friendly, enthusiastic, guileless

Guileless?

Not so sure about that What's your analysis?

Well, I said it first on the boat

Just another fortune hunter chasing $50 million on the hoof

Then?

And then you told me off for being fragile

but I still said, he's got something up his sleeve he wants to sell

An oil well, an invention, or an emerald mine

The last young man we took on had an emerald mine

And will you believe it, I even bet you didn't fish?

And you lost

"Live and learn, Connie, my angel," I said

"Next time, don't bet on men"

What are you thinking?

I haven't hurt you, have I? I didn't mean to hurt you

It was just my way of saying I hope we can be friends

That's about the nicest thing that's been said to me this lifetime

- Friends? - Yes, please

Then you do forgive me?

Don't apologize for suspecting people, Connie Keep right on

Ring every coin you meet

There are lots of wooden nickels in circulation

Come on

No, I want to talk

You're the first person in years

You're in for it, my lad The story of my life

The kitten who died when I was six, and my great-aunt Matilde

and all those twisted newspaper stories you read about my romances

and why they weren't romances

There aren't going to be any more twisted stories

What do you think a paper could make of this?

And couldn't they just? You, me, here alone on a raft?

Single note of the chime indicates exactly 11:00

11:00 Lights out

And who are you, Cinderella's brother?

- What happens at the stroke of 12:00? - You'll never know I hope

- Come on, I'll race you - All right

Connie Allenbury, you've taken from me the one thing in the world I love

my husband

- How is that? - Great

- Next week, East Lynne - You just don't appreciate art

- Look, what's that? - What?

It's a holdup

- Chandler - What the

Why, Bill

I had to stop you before you got to the lodge

- She's gone - What?

You mean we aren't gonna finish it tonight?

She only came to put the place in order

- then she went right back to town - Why didn't you call?

They don't have telephones in trout streams

I'd better go Somebody might see you here

Aren't you going with us? Move over

I can't disappear in the middle of the night

What a lady-killer you are One look at you and the gal disappears

Say, don't worry Rome wasn't built in a day

It didn't cost $5 million, either

We had a nice, long ride

What are you talking about? We can't miss

- The setup is perfect - The setup is crazy We haven't a chance

At the end of the 10th round, it's a draw

The girl was there in the mountains?

- But only for one night - One night is enough

You told your wife you'd been called to Washington, remember?

Yes, like it was yesterday

Yeah, but you lied You didn't go to Washington

You went to Allenbury Lodge for a rendezvous with Connie

Our private detective will swear he followed you

- But her father was there - That was a blind

- She left the following morning - Sure A guilty conscience

- You're insane - What a mind

Now I know where you get those stories about working nights

Then you come home, you're indifferent to your wife

You fight with her

It's as neat a case for alienation of affection

as I've ever seen, and we slap it on tomorrow

- No, we don't - Why don't we?

Because you can't get away with it

They'd throw that case out of any court in the world You, too

Not if I wear blue I'm awfully appealing in blue

A: I was Allenbury's guest, not Connie's B: I was never alone with her C

- I know the alphabet - But you haven't got a leg to stand on

Take it easy, will you?

I'm getting a real in with the family

and I'm developing an open-and-shut case

We're gonna file suit tomorrow

Be at Britton & Britton's office at 9:00, and I can catch that noon edition

You'd make your crippled grandmother do a fan dance for that paper

Now, Gladdie

Wait a minute

Give me one week and I guarantee to put her in a real spot

Not a chance She's walked out on you twice already

You know, Bill, I'm beginning to think you've lost your touch

- Goodbye, Gladdie Don't be late - Aren't you gonna kiss me goodbye?

Well

That's Warren for you

Crazy about me, but boy, how he conceals it

- What's the matter with you? - I just can't make him out

I can understand he's tossing me to the dogs for the paper

- But to do it to the girl he loves - Who's tossing whom to what dogs?

If he goes through with this in the morning

by tomorrow night, we'll all be in jail

- Jail? - Jail

I don't get you It's the plan we've had right along

Yeah, but we haven't enough evidence to convince a backward child

If we spring this, the Allenburys are bound to smell a frame-up

- Do you really think so? - I'm sure of it

But to think that he'd do this to you

A beautiful girl who loves him, who's doing everything in the world

Believe me, kid You've put up with a lot

You know, you're one girl in a million

You don't know the tenth of it

You wouldn't believe what I've stood for

I know

The night I met him, he stood me up for two hours

For what? A woman in Jersey had quadruplets

and it's been that way ever since

I know It's tough

Fine, sensitive girl like you

That's love for you

- The things I could tell you - I'd like to hear all about them

- Let's have a bite to eat - All right

- You dance divinely - Thanks

There have been complaints

Then you must have been out with amateurs

I hope Warren won't mind our dancing like this

What? Him

After all, it's perfectly innocent Just fun

Sure Certainly a girl can dance with her own husband

- and you are my husband - Yes, quite

Besides, this is our last night

What do you mean?

If you're going to file suit tomorrow

I'll have to move out of here to prove that we're alienated

- You know, I'm gonna miss you - I'll miss you, too

- You're a swell kid, Gladys - You're not such a cluck yourself

I hate to see you get mixed up in that mess tomorrow

Look, you don't want me to file that suit, do you?

No, I don't For your own sake

Then I don't I don't start anything until you tell me to

It'll mean a row with Warren

It won't be the first one Let's dance some more

It's pretty late 2:00

I could dance all night with my Billikins

My little fuzzy-wuzzy's got to get some sleep though

You're kind of cute when you say that

So I'm going to say good night, Mrs Chandler

- I'm off to get some air - Air?

Yes, I haven't been able to sleep for the last two or three nights

Must be insomnia

I can fix that My father used to have it

When he did, I'd rub his head with cologne, like that

I'll go get the cologne

It isn't that kind of insomnia

You know, different people respond to different things

Some people respond to rub-a-dub on the forehead Others drop off to music

Now, me

- I'm a horse's hoof man - A what?

A horse's hoof man That's what it takes to put me to sleep

The sound of a horse's hoof Hoof, hoof

You know? Hoof, hoof

Good?

Are you amenable to reason? Then you will come to my charity bazaar

No

You turned me down for the horse show

But I ride with you every morning

You scorned my bid to a concert

But I strum my guitar 'neath thy window each eve

And now you refuse my invitation for tomorrow night

But I'm dining with you and Father this evening

It's your last meal, my lad I'm beginning to tumble

I do very well for the back streets

but you're ashamed to be seen with me in public

Certainly A gal who smears mustard all over her chin

Thanks

- Beautiful now? - No, just clean

Stop turning my head

Now, for the purpose of the record, what time will you arrive at the bazaar?

Once and for all, I am not attending the bazaar

Bill, what is it?

What is it?

It is a horse

Let's stop clowning There's something wrong

- Tell me What is it? - I can't

Why? Please

I swore I'd never mention it again

The libel suit?

What's that got to do with your coming to my party?

Plenty

Connie, drop the suit, will you?

I know you feel that the paper hit you deliberately

Of course it was deliberate, to hurt my father

- So you're striking back - And you think I'm heartless

No, just foolish

You think you're gonna end all publicity

but instead, you'll be smeared over every paper in the country

And I don't care, because Let's not go all over it again

You asked for it

That's why I won't be seen with you in public

All you need now is one more good scandal

Why is there any scandal in my being seen with you?

Because you're in the public eye more than ever

If the gossip columns link your name with a man's now

don't you see that it's going to make you light, cheap?

You're taking this much too seriously, darling

- After all, it's my fight - And that makes it mine

You're sweet

If I had $5 million, I'd give it to settle this thing

Shall I drop it, Bill?

- Will you? - I'll tell you tomorrow at the party

Now you'll have to come

How about the Athletic Club? Try the Yale

Try it again I've got to get him Two hours late

This guy is driving me mad He hasn't seen her in 10 days

I can't make it out It's not the old Chandler

Hello? Try his apartment

No use Mrs Chandler was calling from there

She's looking for him, too

- Didn't you tell her I was here? - She wanted him

She's afraid he's offended at something she said this morning

She wanted to apologize

Gladys wanted to apologize?

He was to meet her at lunch and didn't come

She wanted us to try the morgue in case of an accident

She never tried the morgue for me

- Say, what's going on here? - Maybe he's working on the wrong girl

Working on the What are you talking about?

After all, she's his wife

She may be his wife, but she's engaged to me

The boss wants to see you right away, Mr Haggerty

Yeah All right

His wife

What about this fellow Chandler? I thought he was supposed to be clever

He's clever, all right A lot cleverer than I thought he was

What are you talking about?

He hasn't seen this Allenbury girl in 10 days

Do you call that being clever? Great scott, man

Do you realize what this means?

More than you know

It's your business to find out what he's been doing

That's just exactly it

I'm going to take the matter into my own hands

I'm going to see Connie Allenbury personally

Why do you think she will see you?

Mr Bane, when I was a reporter, I'd get into places

that even a second-story man couldn't break into

All right, try it Make her see Appeal to her reason

She has none This is Connie Allenbury, international playgirl

the spoiled daughter without a brain in her head

But I know how to handle her kind

I'm gonna throw myself on her mercy and appeal to her heart

I'm going to give her all the sob stuff

You know, Miss Allenbury, this situation has outgrown a petty fight

We've got to consider the humanitarian aspect

I must appeal to your social conscience

Thanks I didn't know your paper thought I had one

Now, now

If you go through with this case

it's going to throw 500 people out of employment

Men and women, jobless, walking the streets

women like yourself, tired, cold, and hungry

- Driven to drink and ruin - You write the editorials, don't you?

Yes Now, I know what you're thinking

You're saying to yourself, it's not my fault if people starve

- It's the fault of the paper - Isn't it?

No, it's my fault, it's my mistake

And all my life I shall be faced with the knowledge

that I have wrecked the lives of 500 people

That's all I care about, Miss Allenbury

Those poor, unfortunate souls

After all, they shouldn't suffer for

You're right, they shouldn't suffer for your mistakes

Miss Allenbury Thank you

I knew you'd feel this way

- They must be taken care of - Heaven bless you, Connie Miss Allenbury

And you, too, for calling it to my attention I shall see to it personally

that the whole $5 million goes into a trust fund for them

You mean you're gonna go ahead with the case?

I must, to get the $5 million Now I shall push it doubly hard

Now I have a cause

But the paper will go under It will fold

Yes, I know, but you said that was secondary

The main thing is to take care of these poor men and women

Yes, I know, but there are other considerations

Is there anything in this house for a hungry man?

- Yoo-hoo - Hello, my sweet

Excuse me

- Hello, darling - Hello

Dear, Mr Haggerty of the New York Star

Mr Chandler

Well, not William Chandler, the writer?

Yes, I'm William Chandler

He writes travel books

That takes you to a lot of interesting places, doesn't it?

Yes

Of course, it's all in the day's work

I'm just becoming familiar with your work

Yes?

I thought perhaps you might do something for our paper

It'd be a little change from what you're doing now

I'm afraid that I'm pretty full up

- Up to your neck, I suppose - I object No more work

- Do sit down, Mr Haggerty - Thank you

I only see him now once a day

Connie, you mustn't exaggerate

If we must be factual, twice a day sometimes, maybe three

You'll give Mr Haggerty the wrong impression

After all, he's a newspaperman

- Don't worry about impressing me - And besides, he's not a columnist

He didn't come to discuss gossip He came to discuss the case

Yes, the case By all means

- Yeah, that's right - And it's all settled

You mean you're dropping the suit?

No, but thanks to Mr Haggerty's social conscience

all of the employees will be taken care of

with the $5 million I shall win from the Star

That was all he cared about, wasn't it, Mr Haggerty?

Absolutely all And now that you've been so generous

I think I'll say thank you and run along

Please don't hurry You spoke of other considerations

They really don't matter at all

Just so long as those poor men and women don't starve

You've taken a great load off my mind

- Have I? - Yes, indeed

I don't think there's another thing to discuss

There certainly is not

I'm Warren Haggerty, the managing editor of the New York Evening Star

I know The butler told me you were here

- He'll show you to your car - Then I won't keep him waiting

And you can tell your owner, Mr Hollis Bane

we're not entertaining anyone from his yellow rag in this house

I'll make it a point to tell him

You're entertaining no representatives of the Evening Star

Thank you Good night Miss Allenbury, good night

It's a surprise, Mr Chandler, but a great pleasure seeing you here

Hello? Hello, Gladys?

Yes

What?

You just saw him there a minute ago?

He's been seeing her every day?

Sure He's been protecting her

He's in love with her That's why he's stalling us

But we got him now, and the case, too

How long will it take you to get to the Allenburys'?

A half hour? Perfect

Sure, he'll be there

He can't get away He was just going in to dinner when I left

Thattagirl Tear the roof off And get in touch with me at the office

as soon as you've done your stuff Right Bye-bye

By this time tomorrow, I'll be dining on shipboard

- What? Where do you think you're going? - I'm having dinner with my publisher

He's sailing on the Victoria tomorrow, the 8th

Today is the 8th

No, tomorrow is the 8th Friday the 8th

No, Bill Today is Friday

Today?

- What? - Of course Friday the 8h

This is terrible

He has a contract waiting for me to sign I've got to see him

What time does the ship sail?

- 11:00, from Brooklyn - You can make it

- I'll drive you in - No, you finish your dinner

I have my own car here I'm so sorry This is terrible

Mr Chandler's apartment, please And would you rush it?

Yes?

Don't you "Hello, Gladdie" me, Bill Chandler

So you were having dinner with your publisher

You've been handing me a line of pretty talk for the past 10 days

and all the time you've been seeing Connie Allenbury

You can't do that to me

Don't forget you're my husband

and I'm telling that to Miss Allenbury tonight

Now, Gladys, that doesn't sound like you

I don't blame you for being upset, but I can explain everything

Will you meet me at the Paradise Roof in 20 minutes?

All right, I'll meet you But nothing you can say will stop me

from telling that Allenbury gal tonight Remember that

Here's the headline proof on the Allenbury yarn

Swell, elegant, magnificent

We'll write in the gory details when we hear from Gladys

What's keeping her? It's after 12:00

The old man's probably trying to bribe her

Say, that'll make a swell subhead

"Rich father tries to bribe wronged wife"

I wonder where that skunk Chandler is now

He probably ducked to China or Africa or something

Hello, Warren

- Where have you been? - Dancing

- What did you say? - Dancing

You know

You mean you didn't go to the Allenburys'? You didn't

- No, we decided against it - Why you

Self-control, Warren Very important for a man your age

Here Throw this out Go on

Now what have you got to say for yourselves?

- Don't shout, Warren We're not used to it - Are you going to tell me what happened?

You'd better tell him, Bill His blood pressure

Yes Perhaps you're right

Warren, what would you say if I told you

that I had almost persuaded Miss Allenbury to drop the case?

I'd say you were a dirty, double-dealing liar, and I'd be right

I won't stand here and listen to you being insulted

Come on, Bill

Is that so? Wait Listen to this

Not four hours ago, I heard your two-timing Romeo

whispering sweet nothings into the ears of Connie Allenbury

What do you think of that?

Bill told me all about it That's technique, Warren You wouldn't understand it

Why didn't you tell me you were seeing Connie Allenbury?

Sure, and have you spoil all my good work

as you did tonight, barging in

just as I'd about convinced her to drop the case

We didn't need any charity from her

All Gladys had to do was bust into the house

As Bill says, and have you smear our names all over your paper

you headline hunter

Believe me, this way is better and cleaner

Tomorrow evening, the Allenburys are giving a party I'll be there

Go right ahead, Bill I trust you

And what's more, I'll get her to drop this case, once and for all

That is, unless you decide to barge in again

You're so obvious, Warren Why can't you be subtle, like Bill?

Are you gonna listen to him or me?

I'm going to listen to Bill He knows best

How do I know that you can get Connie to drop the case?

You'll have to take my word for that

That's good enough for me

Maybe you're right Maybe this is the best way

Now you're talking sense

All right, go ahead I'm sorry I blew up, old man

Think nothing of it

Now you see how silly it was to get excited, Warren

After all, I do want you boys to be good friends

- Come on, Bill Good night, Warren - Good night

- Good night, old man - Good night

What's up?

That low-down, conniving rat

making Gladys believe he's in love with her

- He won't get away with it - Can you stop him?

I'm going to wash up the Allenbury case and Mr Chandler with it

Gladys may be eating out of his hand now, but before I get through, she'll be biting it

Here, son Tell Douglas to print up one copy of the evening edition

Put that item at the head of the society column

- One copy? - That's what I said

Our circulation is certainly falling off

I'll be right back

Gladdie

What are you doing here? Can't a girl have any privacy?

I had to see you I got great news

It better be good, bursting in on me like this

It's about Bill Say, I certainly had that guy all wrong He's a wonder

Congratulations When did you come out of the ether?

I was a sap to ever doubt him

He just called me a minute ago

Told me he's getting Connie to drop the suit tonight

Then off he goes on an around-the-world cruise

ending up at the altar

spliced to an eight-figure fortune What a man

What are you talking about?

You know he's got those Allenburys right in the palm of his hand

"It seems the charity bazaar at the Allenbury house tonight

"is something in the way of a farewell party

"J B Allenbury and his attractive daughter, Connie, are sailing

"for a four-months, around-the-world cruise on the SS San Ramone

"Accompanying them on this cruise will be Connie's current favorite

"William Chandler

"Do we hear wedding bells?"

- How do you like that? - Let me see that paper

I have to run Just thought you'd like to hear the good news

Somebody get me out of here

Get me out of here

Have a photographer at Allenbury's home at 9:00

- There's gonna be fireworks there tonight - Right

Step this way for the great game of skill

Darto Throw a dart and win a beautiful prize

$1 a dart, and cheap at half the price

Woo lady luck at the wheel of chance

Pick the winning number and win a priceless prize for the lady

Come one, come all

Look, ring the neck of a bottle and win a baby doll

No trick, no deception Pure, unadulterated skill

Yes, sir How many?

Where's Connie? I must see Connie

I'm so anxious to tell her about Mr Chandler's wife

- Mr Chandler's wife? - Yes

You know Chandler, the fish man on the boat? We met his wife

A most amazing creature

But nonsense He's not married

We never dreamed he was married

He didn't look married and he certainly didn't act married

The married ones never do

I'm sure there's a mistake

No, there isn't We saw him this afternoon coming out of the hotel

We called him, both of us, but he was getting into a taxi

Let's have a drink

I had to run half a block, trying to make him see me

But he'd gone So we went into the hotel to leave a message

The clerk asked if we wished to speak to his wife

I said, "Naturally" He said that she was in the beauty shop

We saw her My dear, she's a case A psychopathic case

She was in a booth, and she kept screaming, "Let me out of here"

Before we could speak to her, she rushed past us

Look, there's Connie and Mr Chandler now

All ready Hold still, please

Why, grandma, what big muscles you've got

The better to sock you with, grandpa

Hold still

You wait here I'll get them We'll make a party of it

Waitress Mary, champagne cocktails for five, please

I'll be right back

Queen of the air

Now, now One at a time, please

Connie, I must see you

What is it, dear?

I can't talk to you here

- But Bill - He'll keep

Thank you

Connie?

I've been robbed

Driver, can't you go any faster?

I can, lady, but the cab can't

Now, what is it?

I haven't seen you this worried since I stole your favorite fishing rod

Connie, how much does Chandler mean to you?

- Not jealous, are you? - Are you in love with him?

Terribly

More than I ever dreamed I could care for anyone

You're sure?

I'm sure Why? You like him, don't you?

Of course

Then what are you being so mysterious about?

What is it, Dad?

The Burns-Norvells say he's married

I don't believe it You know the Burns-Norvells

I'm afraid it's true, Connie They've even met the woman

No I don't believe it I won't

Now, Connie, please

And yet it explains so much

Why we've always had to meet alone

It's hideous suspecting him

- and yet - We've got to know

- Roberts? - Yes, sir

- Ask Mr Chandler to come here, please - Very good, sir

- But let me ask him, Dad - No, Connie

Please It's my problem

Let me handle it my own way

You're sure you don't want me to

You'll ask him point-blank so that he can't misunderstand?

Yes I'll ask him so he can't misunderstand

Go on, darling I'm all right

And so the flying princess, tired of this Earth

flew back to her home, the moon

- There isn't any princess - No?

There isn't any moon

Just Connie That's all right with me

Say, I'm glad you ducked out It's much nicer here

Bill, there's something I've got to ask you

Animal, vegetable, or mineral?

It's just

I don't know where to begin

What is it, darling?

We've had such fun together, such happy times

But, Connie, darling, what's the matter? What's happened?

There's a question

Well?

It's the most important question I'll ever ask

Just answer yes or no, but don't explain

If it's no, don't explain

Well, go ahead

Wait till I catch my breath

Bill, have you been proposed to much?

Have I been what?

You know, proposed to?

Your hand in marriage

Well, not enough to turn my head

- Why? - I'm asking you to marry me

What?

- Is that the question? - Yes

Will you marry me?

Well, Connie

Will you?

What do you think?

- When? - When?

Now?

Now? You mean soon?

I mean now, tonight

Tonight?

- Will you, Bill? - Will I?

Is there a preacher in the house?

- Not here We'll take the car We'll drive - To the moon

- Awfully glad you've enjoyed it - Thanks to you

- Pardon me, Mr Allenbury - What is it, Roberts?

There's a person here who claims to be Mrs William Chandler

She wants to see Mr Chandler immediately

Where is she?

I took the liberty of asking her to wait on the terrace, sir

Thank you, Roberts I'll see her

Good evening I'm Mr Allenbury

Yes? I'm Mrs William Chandler, and I can prove it, too

- You'll have every opportunity to do so - I'll say I will

I want my husband Where is he?

Your husband will be returned to you intact, Mrs Chandler

Just as soon as I can find him

- I'll go with you - No

I think it would be wiser if you stayed here

- So, you're afraid I'll make a scene - On the contrary, I'm looking forward to it

I'll bring your husband to you directly

- Follow that roadster - I got it

Perfect Don't lose them, and try to get pictures

- Right I won't lose them - I'll be getting the special edition ready

William Stevens Chandler

Ever been married before?

Not to speak of

My wife will be the witness She'll be down in a minute

Here she is now

- Are they sober? - I think so

This is love, not liquor

Join hands, please

William, do you take Constance to be your lawful wife

to have and to hold, in sickness and in health

to love, honor, and cherish

- Did you get Gladys on the phone? - Sure

What did you say?

That I was looking for you with some important information

- And? - She fell like a log

She asked me what information I had, so I dropped the bomb

I told her I was driving by the Grand Plaza and saw Connie and Bill go in

On investigating, I found they'd been assigned to suite 805 and 807

as man and wife

- What did she say? - What didn't she say?

You know, I've been thinking

that was a justice of the peace they called on

- Maybe he really did marry her - How could he? He's got a wife already

- I know, but - There's Gladys now

Okay, buddy

We're off to the races You wait here

So?

- Gladys, this is a surprise - I'll bet it is

I'm sorry to break into your little party, Miss Connie Allenbury

but this man happens to be my husband

This is the lady I told you about, a Miss Gladys Benton

- "Mrs William Chandler" is the name - Yes How do you do?

- I said, "Mrs William Chandler" - I've been looking forward to meeting you

- Bill's told me so much about you - He told you about me?

Yes Won't you sit down?

No, you don't You're not getting out of here

I'm not leaving I just don't want Warren to miss anything

- Hello - Hello

Could you hear all right, or shall we start over?

Hello, Mr Haggerty Do come in

So nice to see you Let's all sit down

Yes, let's

What are you doing here?

- Naturally, she didn't expect you - I didn't know he was out there

This has nothing to do with you or your newspaper, so you keep out of it

As Mrs William Chandler, I demand

There must be some mistake

You see, this is Mrs Chandler

- What? - What?

Yes And has been for a whole hour

- Yes, we were just married - Have you gone crazy?

If you think you can excuse this by pulling a marriage gag

But we are married Really

Yes I always carry our marriage certificate right with me

- They're married, all right - But that's arson

You mean it's bigamy

What a story Connie Allenbury marries bigamist

Print that in the paper, you'll have another libel suit on your hands

- I'm not a bigamist - You married me, didn't you?

- That one doesn't count - What are you talking about?

About a certain Mr Joseph Simpson, your lawfully wedded husband

What are you trying to hand me? I've been divorced

You got your divorce in Yucat�n, by mail

Three years ago, all Yucat�n divorces were declared illegal

I found that out yesterday in the Hall of Records

I also consulted my attorney

Then you and Gladys were never really married?

- That's right - But I made an honest man of him

Dear, don't forget the letter

Yes

This is from Mrs Chandler, for you

Warren, she was so touched by your pity

- for your 500 starving employees - You've dropped the suit

- But l - Connie Miss Allen Mrs Chandler

How can I ever I just can't thank you enough

Connie Allenbury marries author What a story What a scoop

Mr Haggerty, you've forgotten something

- Yes My hat Excuse me - Your hat and Mrs Simpson

Mrs Simpson? Gladdie, of course

That "Mrs Simpson" gets me, Gladdie

I've got to run along to the office You phone me there in the morning

Just a minute You want a real scoop? I'll give you one

I found out my Yucat�n divorce was no good

so I got a second divorce from Joe Simpson in Reno

- What? - What?

- Then, we're not - I don't believe it

Then try the Reno Hall of Records

- But - That's quite right

Now where do we all stand?

Let's all sit down and talk things over quietly

You and I will have plenty of time to talk this over on our world cruise

I'm sure Miss Allenbury won't mind turning her ticket over to me now

Ticket? World cruise? What are you talking about?

You're getting all excited Now come along

What about this?

- It's nothing, Bill - Yes, what about this?

I can explain that thing I had to use it as a little gag

So it's just one of your little gags to get me here

I'm here, all right

Before I'm through, you'll all be sorry you ever saw me

You were all terribly smart, weren't you?

You were all building up to a nice happy ending

Haggerty wins his case Chandler wins his girl

Where do I stand?

I'll tell you where, right behind the eight ball

You thought it was a lot of fun, didn't you, making me fall for you?

Well, I did fall

But I'm picking myself up, William Chandler

You can't fool me any more with your hoof, hoof, hoof

or your insomnia or your publisher

You're a pretty poor sample of a husband

But nobody else is gonna get you, not if it kills both of us

- Now look, Gladys - You're 10 times worse than he is

At least he had some excuse for kicking me around

He was in love with another woman

But you double-crossed me for the sake of a newspaper

Marry the paper and be the proud father of a lot of headlines

That's all you're good for anyway

I suppose this is all very distasteful to you, Miss Allenbury

You're not accustomed to hearing the truth

You've had money to protect you from it all your life

You spent your entire life buying anything you want

My husband isn't for sale You can't buy him at any price

- Will you let me go? - You can't walk out on me like this

Gladdie

Wait a minute Wait

Let me handle this You two diplomats have done enough

- I'm afraid it's locked - Then please give me the key

- Not yet I want to talk to you - I've talked enough

Right Now it's my turn

- You can't offer me money - I wouldn't think of it

Pleading won't do you any good

- I'm sure - What else is there to talk about?

- You - Me?

I've a pretty fair notion of what you've been through

- What do you mean by that? - Any woman can be starved by neglect

The little attentions Bill paid you seemed so much greater

because you weren't getting them from Haggerty

The only time he sent me flowers, he signed it "Bill"

Exactly He probably never noticed the clothes you wore

never told you how lovely you looked, the way Bill did

That's right How did you know?

Women can't fool women about men

- You don't want Bill - Oh, no?

I know you've got him now, in name anyway

But I have his love

You can't build a life on hate, or a marriage on spite

Marriage is too important

- Mine only lasted an hour, but I know - I'm not gonna listen to you

A fine mess you made of this, and all because you tried to steal Gladys

I wouldn't steal Gladys if she were the last female on earth

Female? That does it

You can't stand there and insult Gladdie

You've had this coming for a long time

Yes, and I've been looking forward to it

- We'll settle it right now - With interest

I don't love Warren Haggerty

I'll never love him I never want to see him

I never want to hear his name I hate him

- They're fighting - Warren

Wait a minute

Don't be a sucker

You hear who she is calling?

Now, are you satisfied?

Say, I got an idea

She'll feel sorrier for you if I punch you in the nose

Warren, darling

Why, Bill

I treated you terribly and now you are hurt

It's my fault, darling

I'm just a mug, Gladdie, but I love you

Let me see

You're bleeding

You big coward, you must have hit him when his back was turned

How dare you?

Are you all right?

What is this? What's going on here?

Hello, Father

I got your telephone call What's this?

Now be calm, please

- I can explain everything - You'd better explain fast

- You mean to tell me you married him? - Yes, Father

- Who is this woman? - That's Bill's wife

What?

Quiet, will you please be quiet