Original subtitles

What happened?

Here at school, we have a zero-tolerance policy

towards any kind of violence,

and we use dialogue in order to eradicate it.

You don't have to worry.

We'll have a long talk on the way home.

Actually, we already liaised with the other pupil's parents

in order to all meet up and discuss what happened.

Speaking of which... Come in.

You're mad because he was attacked?

No, because he lost.

Great. His grandson got in a fight and he's worried about who won.

The other kid fought. I'm just not sure Jonathan fought for real.

I defended myself.

Massaging his joints with your face isn't defending yourself.

-Leave him alone. -The son of a wrestler

and the grandson of a tactical surveillance operations expert...

A security guard, Dad. A security guard.

What if he's bigger than me?

You aim for the eyes or the balls! I warned you, Carl.

You need to toughen him up.

No, he doesn't need toughening up.

Did your father ever take you to the woods?

No.

Not only will it toughen you up, it will connect you to the roots.

Meaning?

Meaning you'll feel closer to nature and wilderness.

So you won't be bothered by life's trivial little problems anymore. On top of that, you'll feel a connection to the world surrounding you,

because you need other people. Get it?

If you and Jonathan were in a place where you needed each other?

We'd go all together. You, me, Annick, and Yann.

We'd go camping.

Real camping. Wild camping.

We'd stay for a couple of days.

I hate him.

He's a jerk.

It's working great. And you?

Amazingly well.

Put your bag in the front.

-I'll have the house all to myself. -Oh, yeah?

You'll all be gone.

So you think you'll be able to throw a party, huh?

Not a party, just a few friends.

Aren't you starting your new job tomorrow?

Yeah, but it's just serving coffee. I can do that on autopilot.

No way. You're gonna go to bed early and serve your coffee in awake mode.

Relax.

How many jobs have you lost so far?

You're gonna get your shit together and keep your job. Even if it's boring.

Because that's life. There won't be any exceptions for you.

Fine. But you could show me some trust, I'm gonna be all by myself in here.

-No, you won't. -Did you hire a babysitter?

Not a babysitter. A guard.

A security guard.

No way.

Yes, way.

Why the long faces, boys?

Come on, it will be fun.

It's gonna be a great weekend.

Don't be shy. Talk.

Get lost.

Eat shit.

Well, at least it's full sentences. That's a start.

We finally get a chance to do something together.

Isn't it great? A grandfather and a granddaughter playing together?

Five thousand pieces. This will keep us busy the entire weekend.

Nice, huh?

Want me to get that?

Boys. Come on, get out.

Sometimes, rivals have to come together to fight a common enemy.

-What? -Look at them.

Doesn't it make you sick when they touch each other?

Sure does.

It's not gonna stop there. We only got two tents.

Do you think your mother will offer to share her tent with you? No, sir.

We'll be in the tent next to theirs and they'll keep doing what they're doing,

except naked. And we'll hear everything.

The sighs, the wet little noises...

And the girl you'll hear moaning? It's gonna be your mom, Yann.

Boys!

We have to do something.

The most important thing is to start with the frame.

That makes it easier.

Are you sure you took everything out of the box? I can't find the fun.

Carl?

No, it's Jonathan.

Jonathan? Do you wanna talk to your Xbox?

I just need some advice. You know the woods better than Dad.

That's true.

How can I protect myself from bears?

The main thing is to keep food away from you. It's the smell that draws them.

No food inside the tent.

Thanks, Grandpa.

Bye, buddy. Hey, have fun.

Have you ever heard of the invention called...

matches?

This is to show you how to survive in the wilderness.

-You wouldn't even survive. -Just give me some time.

With a little luck, the cold would kill you before the animals would.

So...

-where will you be working? -Donut Hole.

Oh, yeah, right. They have great donuts.

My favorite is the Tractor Wheel. Do you know why they call it that?

Because it looks like a tractor wheel?

Yeah.

I can't take all the credit, I did have a 20-minute training.

I also like their cream donuts. They're really good.

Also among my favorites. They make them really well.

They come in two flavors, maple syrup and chocolate.

They say two flavors, but it's actually just the icing.

Interesting.

Yup. Here's another corner.

I told you we wouldn't get bored.

Hello?

Hey, bud. How are you?

I would've invited you, but I can't.

I'm spending quality time with my granddaughter.

We're talking about all sorts of things. By the way,

do you know the Tractor Wheel donut?

Don't worry about me. We can catch up later.

-Are you sure? -Of course. No problem.

Actually, you can come over. I'll be waiting for you. Bye.

I'll go visit a friend. I'll leave you alone. No, you're not going anywhere. You're staying here.

I know you. You'll forget the time and come back in the morning.

Your father said you had to be ready for tomorrow.

Come on, sit down. That's right. Let's continue.

You were off to a nice start. Look, it's good.

Look at this! Look, boys!

Watch out.

Annick! Annick? Annick!

Having a caring mother has its perks. Check this out.

Hey, come and see. I managed to light a fire with a piece of wood.

It's small, but you can call me Mr. Savage.

You're awfully calm, Mr. Savage.

Hey! Okay! Okay, okay! I'll go get water from the lake!

Stand back!

Step back.

Hey, what are you doing? Annick, no!

Keep going, keep going!

Annick, no! Why?

I put out the fire.

What are we gonna drink?

Water from the lake.

You're gonna make us drink cyanobacteria?

You have a better idea?

Okay. No problem. We'll just...

We'll go on an expedition to find a source. Okay?

Okay. Two dudes?

Hey, look who's here! You brought company?

I hope that's okay?

Sure, make yourselves at home.

To make it up to you, we brought a little something.

Don't you think it's a bit early in the day for...?

Oh, to hell with it. It's gotta be 5 p.m. somewhere, right?

Come in. Come in, Paul. It's good to see you.

Go ahead.

I also told Jean-Claude.

-Is that okay? -Jaimie will let him in.

No problem. The more the merrier.

It would've been easier to get water by doing a rain dance.

Well?

It's not here.

She's right, it's not here.

Don't be so negative. Maybe someone just stole our tents.

We're lost.

No, we're not.

Yes, we are.

No, we're not.

Carl, we're lost.

No, no, we're just...

We're just lost.

This is hopeless.

Come on, Annick.

I would've loved to see 40, but I doubt I'll ever get there.

Come on. Let's not panic.

There's lots of tricks to find your way when you're lost in the woods.

For example... we can... look at the direction

of the sun.

What about the moss? It always grows in the same direction.

We could follow it.

Yeah. Follow the...

Follow Randy Moss? That's funny, right, Annick?

It's okay, I know. It's that way.

Watch your step.

Watch out for the little trees.

Well, I got a straight flush!

Well done!

-You're in luck. -I had a pair.

Bastard.

Jaimie, the door!

Hello, I'm Gilbert Ganier. I sell meat around the corner.

Would you be interested?

Sorry, we don't eat meat. Only hot dogs and veggie chicken.

Whoa, wait.

Meat?

Yes, sir, and quality meat at that. We have a special on T-bones.

How about a barbecue?

Too bad Diane isn't here to make her seasoning.

Just give her a call. Okay, mister, it's a go for the meat.

I'll be back.

Give me a big piece. Yeah, that one, that one.

Perfect.

Hey, Diane! Diane, your seasoning is freaking amazing!

I hope you don't finish too late. I gotta work tomorrow, remember?

They're all people of a certain age. Don't worry, it'll be fine.

Look what I found in the basement! A karaoke kit!

-Well? -Yes!

What did I tell you? I told you we'd find our way back.

Let's find some wood, start a fire, and make something to eat.

Carl? Carl.

What?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

A bear?

Looks like it.

I don't get it. Before we left, Yann and I,

we put the food inside the tent so no one would find it.

We're gonna have to sleep all together in the same tent.

I hope you weren't planning to cuddle.

One, two, one, two... Okay.

One of the sleeping bags is torn.

No way.

It is.

Hey, hey. It's no big deal, okay? It just means that

we'll have to share a sleeping bag.

-Stop, it's not funny. -It's all good.

-No, it isn't. -Hey.

They're not gonna do it with us in the tent, are they?

I thought we won, but it looks like we're dealing with two sex addicts.

Whoa, here come the cops. What's the matter, officer?

Is this your house?

My son's house. I'm keeping watch.

Somebody called us about a noise disturbance.

Could be. We're a bit hard of hearing, so the music might've been too loud.

Who the hell complained about that?

Mr. Hébert?

Simon? You're Simon, right? No way, who would've thought?

You joined the police? Just like your dad. He's gotta be proud of you.

I think so. At least, I hope so.

Unbelievable. I've known you since you were that high. Wanna join us for a drink?

Too bad, I'm on duty.

Oh, come on. How about a tiny glass?

I can't.

It's okay, they're asleep.

But you're not, I see.

My hands are sleepwalkers.

Jonathan.

I had a nightmare! It was just like in that fairy tale.

You had a new wife and you took me to the woods.

I went with you, but I realized it was to abandon me,

because you loved your wife more.

Come on, just forget about it.

-Did he really dream that? -He might have.

Weren't we supposed to stay longer?

We changed our mind.

-Do you know-- -Yes, it's because of last night. Shut up.

This camping trip was a fantastic idea.

We'll do better next time.

Hey, what are you doing?

Making sure there's no next time.

Stop it! It's my stuff!

Why do you have to punish me?

And who wanted to find spring water instead of buying some in town?

I didn't wanna drive for an hour and a half!

Instead, you took us on a three-hour hike and gave our supplies to the bears.

That was just brilliant!

Fuck the woods. Fuck Mr. Savage. The kids aren't nicer to each other.

And I feel you like me less now.

Of course not.

But maybe... we won't be able to go on vacation all together.

We'll have to go just the two of us.

-That would suck. -Right?

But I think I could do it.

Really?

So?

Did you have fun?

You have no idea.

I had fun, too.

You did, huh? I can see that.

Did Jaimie behave?

Perfectly. She had no choice, I had my eye on her.

Really?

Is she at work?

Uh... I guess she is. I didn't hear her.

No way. You're kidding me.

You're late for your first day? Can't you be responsible for a change?

It's his fault!

He spent the whole night partying and I barely slept! That's why!

I don't buy it. A party? He's 65!

I hate to say this, but she's making things up.

Dad? There's a man sleeping in the bathtub.

Hi.

I'm Gilbert Ganier, I sell meat around the corner. Would you want some?