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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:05,666
Thank you for bein' a friend
2
00:00:05,738 --> 00:00:09,674
Traveled down the road and back again
3
00:00:09,742 --> 00:00:11,141
Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:16,079
You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,148 --> 00:00:20,141
And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,219 --> 00:00:24,553
Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:28,651
You would see
the biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:31,555
And the card attached would say
9
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:37,570
"Thank you for bein' a friend"
10
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,259
I don't want to miss my appointment
at the beauty parlor.
11
00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:05,991
In a minute. Dorothy's been trying to get
through to the box office for 20 minutes.
12
00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:09,967
I can't be late. The last time I was late,
Ronald gave me the broken hair dryer.
13
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:12,527
I came out looking like Don King.
14
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:16,769
Ma, please. All my life I've wanted to see
Frank Sinatra in concert.
15
00:01:16,842 --> 00:01:19,310
I'm not getting off this phone
until I get tickets.
16
00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:20,402
What are you talking about?
17
00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:23,471
I took you and Gloria to see him
at the Paramount Theatre.
18
00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:27,713
I'll never forget it. From the second
he stepped out on the stage,
19
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:32,747
- I don't know, something happened.
- You fainted. That's what happened.
20
00:01:32,825 --> 00:01:37,319
I spent the rest of the evening
in the ladies' room, trying to revive you.
21
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:40,991
Wasn't until a couple of years later
that I got another chance to see Sinatra.
22
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,399
Stan bought tickets for my birthday.
23
00:01:43,469 --> 00:01:47,462
But two weeks before the concert,
he asked me for a divorce.
24
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:51,032
I got the house and the kids.
He got the tickets.
25
00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:54,443
Don't think I didn't put up a fight!
26
00:01:54,513 --> 00:01:56,447
Oh, girls, I have terrible news.
27
00:01:56,515 --> 00:02:00,383
I failed my psychology exam.
I'm just beside myself.
28
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:03,718
Oh, Blanche, look on the bright side.
It's just one test.
29
00:02:03,789 --> 00:02:06,917
Yeah, but this is my midterm.
I could fail the whole course.
30
00:02:06,992 --> 00:02:08,960
If I fail this course,
I won't get my degree,
31
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:12,464
and if I don't get my degree, the museum
won't even consider me for that promotion.
32
00:02:12,531 --> 00:02:14,658
Oh, I guess there's no bright side.
33
00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:19,069
Calm down.
You're gonna pass the course.
34
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:22,301
You're gonna have to buckle down
and study a little harder.
35
00:02:22,374 --> 00:02:25,002
At least you're doing well
in your other two courses.
36
00:02:25,077 --> 00:02:27,705
But those are art courses.
They come easier to me.
37
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:31,807
I've always had a great appreciation
for the arts and artists.
38
00:02:31,884 --> 00:02:35,251
And carpenters and mechanics
and delivery boys.
39
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:39,416
Yes? Yes, yes, yes,
I'm still here.
40
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:43,189
Yeah, I'm calling about
the Sinatra concert.
41
00:02:43,262 --> 00:02:45,127
It's what?
42
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:50,533
What, you've kept me on hold
all this time to tell me that it is sold out?
43
00:02:50,936 --> 00:02:54,963
No, no, I will not have a nice day!
44
00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:59,238
Oh, darn! I was really
counting on that concert.
45
00:02:59,311 --> 00:03:03,577
Now what'll we do? Don't worry.
I'll make some calls. I got connections.
46
00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:06,743
I'll handle it.
I'm gonna call a couple of ticket brokers.
47
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:10,414
Fine, big shot. Handle it.
See how far you get.
48
00:03:10,489 --> 00:03:14,721
I just remembered, I know somebody
in show business who can help us.
49
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:22,098
My best friend in St. Olaf has a nephew
who's a page at NBC in Hollywood.
50
00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:24,227
I'll write to her
and ask her to write to him.
51
00:03:24,303 --> 00:03:26,533
Honey, won't that take
an awful long time?
52
00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:30,200
Oh, I don't mind.
I'm a very patient person.
53
00:03:30,609 --> 00:03:34,602
I once waited two whole weeks
for a sty to go away.
54
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:39,140
Every night, I'd close my eyes and I'd
picture it getting smaller and smaller.
55
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,618
And one morning,
I woke up and it was gone.
56
00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:48,686
Ma, you OK?
57
00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:52,857
I'm fine. I'm just trying to
make Rose go away.
58
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,427
Whose theory states...
59
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:03,498
"A young man becomes intimate with his
mother to get revenge on his father"?
60
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:09,481
Well, I don't know who said it,
but my second cousin Arlen did it.
61
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:16,184
I think we'd better try another question.
62
00:04:16,455 --> 00:04:18,184
I am exhausted!
63
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,283
I went to at least
a dozen ticket brokers today.
64
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,557
They all told me the only way I'm gonna
get tickets is to go to a scalper.
65
00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:27,622
Oh, you can't buy from a scalper.
That's a crime.
66
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:32,330
So is eating grapes at the supermarket,
but you do that all the time.
67
00:04:32,404 --> 00:04:39,776
- I have to test them.
- Rose, one is testing, 14 is brunch.
68
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,938
Good lord, I'm a criminal.
69
00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:45,381
Fine, as long as you already have
a record, I can count you in.
70
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:49,114
Tomorrow I am going to a scalper
and I'm going to buy four tickets.
71
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:52,089
You'd better make that three.
My final exam is that night.
72
00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:55,456
- Honey, that's too bad.
- Oh, what difference does it make?
73
00:04:55,527 --> 00:04:57,586
My social life's
gone down the drain anyway.
74
00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:59,494
All I ever do is study.
75
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:05,970
You know, it cannot be good for you. It's
unnatural, it's unhealthy, it's unlike me.
76
00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:12,307
No wonder I can't concentrate.
I need a break. I need a change of scenery.
77
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,506
I need to hit Wally's Bar for Ladies' Night.
78
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,446
I'll see you all later.
Don't you girls wait up.
79
00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:18,847
Hold it, Blanche.
80
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,682
I don't think you should go anywhere
till you finish your homework.
81
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:23,153
Oh, I'll just be gone a few hours.
82
00:05:23,722 --> 00:05:26,156
You get right back here
and hit those books.
83
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:30,925
If you want a diploma,
you have to apply yourself.
84
00:05:30,996 --> 00:05:36,764
Do you think Bob Hope
got all those degrees without studying?
85
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:41,633
Rose, let me handle this.
86
00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:46,235
Listen, Blanche, nobody said
that going back to school would be easy.
87
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:48,473
Easy? It's impossible.
88
00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:51,243
I cannot pass that course.
I just can't do it.
89
00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,012
Listen, honey,
if you're having such a problem,
90
00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:54,484
maybe you should talk to your teacher.
91
00:05:54,553 --> 00:05:56,953
I can't do that.
I'd be too embarrassed.
92
00:05:57,022 --> 00:06:00,981
- But that's what teachers are there for.
- I know exactly how she feels.
93
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,392
I used to be scared of my teachers, too.
94
00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:06,124
- Get out of here.
- No, it's true, it's true.
95
00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:11,158
Elementary school was a nightmare.
I was afraid to talk in class.
96
00:06:11,236 --> 00:06:15,502
- Why?
- Well, I had a slight speech impediment.
97
00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:22,241
It's different for kids these days, you know.
They have Barbara Walters to look up to.
98
00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:29,450
Yeah, but in those days,
it really stood out, you know.
99
00:06:29,521 --> 00:06:31,614
Oh, I don't know,
it must have taken three months
100
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:35,786
before I could muster up the courage,
you know, to talk to Mrs. Lenoff.
101
00:06:35,861 --> 00:06:38,591
And it turned out to be
the smartest thing I could have done,
102
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:42,191
'cause not only did she help me,
you know, with the speech problem,
103
00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:45,327
she was the one who inspired me
to go into the teaching profession.
104
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:49,500
You know what? I think tomorrow
after class I will talk to Professor Cooper.
105
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,100
Good girl.
106
00:06:52,177 --> 00:06:54,270
What ever happened
to your teacher Mrs. Lenoff?
107
00:06:54,346 --> 00:06:58,510
Oh, gosh. Last I heard,
she retired from teaching,
108
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:03,681
opened a bed and breakfast
someplace in Wode Island.
109
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,850
Rhode Island.
110
00:07:29,314 --> 00:07:32,715
- Professor Cooper?
- Yes? What can I do for you?
111
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,844
If I might have a minute of your time.
112
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,285
'Course, if now's not convenient,
I can...
113
00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:39,347
No, no, please, please, sit.
I'm all ears.
114
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:43,419
Don't sell yourself short.
115
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:50,365
I don't believe we've been formally
introduced. I'm Blanche Deveraux.
116
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,131
- Yes, I know.
- You do?
117
00:07:52,204 --> 00:07:54,195
- Mm-hm. Of course.
- Oh, I'm flattered.
118
00:07:54,273 --> 00:07:58,039
You're the only student
who failed my midterm exam.
119
00:07:58,110 --> 00:07:59,634
Oh.
120
00:07:59,711 --> 00:08:01,941
What was it you wanted
to see me about?
121
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,175
Professor Cooper,
I suppose you are aware
122
00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:06,615
that I'm having the teensiest bit
of trouble in your course,
123
00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:10,121
and to be frank, passing this course
is very important to me.
124
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:13,249
So I was wondering if maybe
you could give me a little help.
125
00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:17,659
Oh, I see. Well, Blanche,
considering that you flunked the midterm,
126
00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:20,596
you'll need an A on the final exam
to even pass my class,
127
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:23,430
and the odds on that seem pretty slim.
128
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:26,232
But you see, I have to have these credits
to get my degree.
129
00:08:26,872 --> 00:08:31,832
Well, it's gonna take
a lot of hard work on your part.
130
00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:34,811
- You mean, like extra credit?
- Well, you could say that.
131
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:38,816
That's fine. I'm ready, willing,
and able. I'll do whatever I have to.
132
00:08:38,884 --> 00:08:42,320
Oh, I like your attitude, Blanche.
133
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:47,322
This is my home phone number.
134
00:08:47,392 --> 00:08:52,352
Now, if you really want that degree,
you'll use it. You catch my drift?
135
00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:54,058
Oh.
136
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:58,131
Oh.
137
00:09:06,411 --> 00:09:09,608
Here we are, Sophia.
The perfect after-dinner treat.
138
00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:13,173
- A nice dish of Jell-O.
- I hate Jell-O.
139
00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:16,880
If God wanted peaches
suspended in midair,
140
00:09:16,955 --> 00:09:19,822
he would have filled them
with helium.
141
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,723
- What?
- Beat it, Rose. I'm busy.
142
00:09:26,798 --> 00:09:28,595
- What are you doing?
- It's Tuesday night.
143
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:31,397
I'm cleaning out my purse.
144
00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:33,929
Did all that stuff
come out of your purse?
145
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:36,907
No, I was also cleaning out my ears.
146
00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:40,877
That's where the Feenamint
and the rain bonnet came from.
147
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:44,538
Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
148
00:09:44,616 --> 00:09:47,176
Forgive me, Rose,
but I haven't had sex in 15 years
149
00:09:47,252 --> 00:09:50,710
and it's starting to get on my nerves.
150
00:09:56,762 --> 00:10:00,425
- So, big shot, did you get the tickets?
- Can't you say hello first?
151
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:03,093
Hello, big shot.
Did you get the tickets?
152
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:06,538
Look, Ma, don't start with me.
I've had a very rough day.
153
00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:11,440
The only scalper I could find
had funny things moving in his hair,
154
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,705
and he wanted to bargain
in a dark alley.
155
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,247
- What seats did you get?
- I didn't get any tickets.
156
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:20,081
- I didn't think it was exactly safe.
- I can't believe you were such a baby.
157
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,985
In Sicily, we did all our bargaining
in dark alleys.
158
00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:26,286
How do you think I ended up
with your father?
159
00:10:26,658 --> 00:10:30,219
If the tickets are that hard to get,
maybe we just weren't meant to go.
160
00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:33,423
Maybe you weren't, Rose,
but two weeks from now,
161
00:10:33,498 --> 00:10:37,195
I intend to be sitting in front of
Old Blue Eyes himself,
162
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:41,433
live, in-person,
middle-aged spread and all.
163
00:10:41,506 --> 00:10:43,406
Dorothy, you can take off
a few pounds by then
164
00:10:43,475 --> 00:10:46,069
if you put your mind to it.
165
00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:53,279
Oh, girls, I am devastated,
just devastated.
166
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:54,649
Honey, what happened?
167
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,382
I asked my teacher for help,
like you all told me to.
168
00:10:57,456 --> 00:11:00,857
He said the only way I would get an A
on his final is if I sleep with him.
169
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:04,157
- No!
- Oh, yes. I just don't know what to do.
170
00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:07,221
Get it in writing.
171
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:15,303
Blanche, that is terrible.
I hope you told him off.
172
00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:18,172
First I was so stunned,
I didn't know what to say.
173
00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:21,701
Then I marched back up to his desk
and I looked him straight in the eye
174
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:23,873
and I said, "I'll think it over. "
175
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:28,784
Blanche, there is nothing to think over.
What he did is sexual harassment.
176
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,344
He cannot get away with that.
177
00:11:30,422 --> 00:11:33,016
I don't know if I can
pass this course on my own.
178
00:11:33,091 --> 00:11:35,719
Oh, Blanche, believe me, in the long run,
179
00:11:35,794 --> 00:11:39,594
you'll be so much happier
if you use your brains instead of your body.
180
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:44,659
I don't know if I can. When I was little,
I was always overshadowed by my sisters.
181
00:11:44,736 --> 00:11:47,762
They were all smarter
and more talented than I was.
182
00:11:47,839 --> 00:11:51,366
Then when I was 16,
I discovered I had a talent, too,
183
00:11:51,443 --> 00:11:54,276
the talent to drive men crazy
with a body that many said
184
00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:57,440
should have come with a warning label.
185
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,177
Blanche, please.
186
00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:02,243
After a while, I learned I could
use my looks to my advantage,
187
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:05,916
so I did... regularly.
188
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:09,017
I've done it for so long now,
I don't know if I can get by without it.
189
00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:11,085
Well, maybe this is
a good time to start.
190
00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:15,031
Rose is right. Listen,
you're gonna get an A in that class.
191
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,567
We're gonna help you do it.
192
00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:20,071
As far as that professor is concerned,
you should report him immediately.
193
00:12:20,138 --> 00:12:22,606
- You think I should?
- Absolutely.
194
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:24,335
When I first started teaching,
195
00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:28,402
the school principal pulled exactly
the same thing on me.
196
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,347
- What did you do?
- I reported him to the Board of Education.
197
00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:34,943
They investigated,
and he was forced to resign.
198
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:40,481
'Course, much later, I found out that I
was not the only person he had harassed.
199
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,255
I was, however,
the only person he harassed
200
00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:47,025
while he was wearing a corset
and high heels.
201
00:12:51,536 --> 00:12:53,970
Well, at any rate, I spoke out,
202
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:58,066
and because I did, a lot of other women
didn't have to go through the same thing.
203
00:12:58,143 --> 00:13:00,509
You know, you're right.
I have made up my mind.
204
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,274
I'm going to see the dean
about Professor Cooper.
205
00:13:02,347 --> 00:13:04,372
Very wise decision.
206
00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:07,646
Nils Felander attempted
to harass me repeatedly.
207
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:09,879
What do you mean, he attempted to?
208
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:15,825
He worked at Lars Erikson's Drugstore
and Tackle Shop. He was a soda jerk.
209
00:13:15,894 --> 00:13:19,125
Now that I think about it,
he was the town jerk.
210
00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:22,598
Every Saturday afternoon,
I'd go in and have a sundae.
211
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:29,539
Well, Nils would arrange
the ice cream scoops in an obscene way.
212
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:39,875
I could never prove it, because by the time
I would take it home to show my father,
213
00:13:47,392 --> 00:13:51,795
- the evidence had...
- ... melted.
214
00:13:53,131 --> 00:13:59,502
To this day, every time I pass an ice cream
parlor or a tackle shop, I blush.
215
00:14:04,409 --> 00:14:07,640
Look, Coach,
I want Leon off the team.
216
00:14:07,712 --> 00:14:11,170
I don't care if he is 6'11"
and weighs 300 pounds.
217
00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:15,982
The boy can't spell his own name
unless he copies it off his jersey.
218
00:14:16,054 --> 00:14:18,921
I'm not gonna tell him.
You tell him. You're the coach.
219
00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:20,787
(knock on door
220
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,588
- Dean Tucker?
- Come in, come in.
221
00:14:23,161 --> 00:14:26,096
Look, we'll talk about it later.
222
00:14:26,164 --> 00:14:29,292
Oh! Oh, boy.
Problems, problems, problems.
223
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:31,332
My mother wanted me to be a priest,
224
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:35,999
but no, I had to pursue
the flashy world of academics.
225
00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:37,803
- Oh, I'm... Sit down, sit down.
- Thank you.
226
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,768
Dean Tucker,
my name is Blanche Deveraux,
227
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:42,678
and I have something extremely important
to discuss with you.
228
00:14:43,114 --> 00:14:45,582
Could this wait till next week?
229
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:48,346
I've only been dean here
for a couple of days.
230
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:51,253
I haven't got a secretary,
I can't get my parking validated.
231
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,621
I don't even know
where the restroom is.
232
00:14:53,692 --> 00:14:57,128
I was sexually harassed
by Professor Cooper.
233
00:14:57,195 --> 00:15:00,722
Oh, don't do this to me.
234
00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:05,327
Please, I beg you.
Look...
235
00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:07,337
We'll look into this
first thing Monday morning.
236
00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:09,930
- It can't wait.
- You're right.
237
00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:14,172
We'll do something immediately.
We'II, uh, we'll fill out a form.
238
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,806
There must be one in here somewhere.
239
00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:21,842
OK, Sexual Discrimination,
Sexual Education...
240
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,286
Sexual Harassment.
241
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:27,883
OK, I'm going to have to
ask you a few questions.
242
00:15:29,661 --> 00:15:33,927
Well, Lord, I can't ask you this.
243
00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:37,696
I can't even ask my own wife this.
244
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:39,999
I'd like to.
245
00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:42,938
Dean Tucker, what happened to me
was really quite simple.
246
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,533
I'm not doing very well
in Professor Cooper's class,
247
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:50,343
so he offered to give me an A
i- if I would...
248
00:15:50,415 --> 00:15:51,677
Do number five?
249
00:15:54,185 --> 00:15:57,712
Actually, number five,
six, and seven-B.
250
00:15:59,457 --> 00:16:03,393
Why, that's terrible!
Were there any witnesses?
251
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:07,693
- No.
- Oh. Oh. Well, that complicates things.
252
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:09,131
Why, don't you believe me?
253
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,191
It's not a question of
whether or not I believe you.
254
00:16:11,269 --> 00:16:14,329
It's just without substantial evidence,
it's just your word against his,
255
00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:16,431
and a man's career is at stake!
256
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,409
Well, so is mine,
not to mention my dignity.
257
00:16:19,477 --> 00:16:21,570
I'm sorry. I really am.
I'd like to help you.
258
00:16:21,646 --> 00:16:23,238
But unfortunately,
there's nothing I can do.
259
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,217
- But that's not fair!
- Miss Deveraux, life is not fair.
260
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:32,951
I should know. I'm 43 years old,
and until today, I never even heard of 7B.
261
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:39,128
Well, I've known about it for some time,
262
00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:42,257
and as far as I'm concerned,
you can go do it to yourself.
263
00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:51,906
Oh, hello, Rose.
264
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:54,810
Blanche, you won't believe
what happened to me today.
265
00:16:54,879 --> 00:16:55,937
It was so exciting.
266
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:58,744
I've been waiting for somebody to come
home so long, I thought I was gonna burst.
267
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:01,411
You won't believe what happened
to me today in the dean's office.
268
00:17:01,486 --> 00:17:05,354
I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard,
listening to WREQ, the big band station.
269
00:17:05,423 --> 00:17:08,415
I usually listen to WXDC,
all talk radio,
270
00:17:08,493 --> 00:17:12,327
but this morning,
a little voice told me to turn the dial,
271
00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:15,833
so I did, and I tuned in
right in the middle of this contest.
272
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,368
They were looking for the 12th caller.
273
00:17:18,436 --> 00:17:21,405
12 has always been my lucky number,
274
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,737
so I pulled over
and I got my change ready...
275
00:17:23,808 --> 00:17:26,971
I always keep two dimes in the crook
of the door handle for emergencies...
276
00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:30,708
and by the time I got through,
I was the 12th caller.
277
00:17:30,782 --> 00:17:35,344
I won four tickets
to the Frank Sinatra concert!
278
00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:38,412
Rose Nylund, you get your
bohonkus back in here
279
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,424
and listen to what I have to say.
280
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:43,552
Blanche, I'm sorry.
What were you trying to tell me?
281
00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:45,425
I just don't know what I'm going to do.
282
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:49,991
Three tickets to Old Blue Eyes.
It's finally going to happen.
283
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:53,128
- But, Dorothy...
- Rose, please.
284
00:17:53,204 --> 00:17:55,832
I went down to the auditorium today
and out front,
285
00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:58,375
I saw a kid scalping tickets
to this woman.
286
00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:01,901
So I figured this is my last chance.
I raced over, took her aside,
287
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,676
explained to her how much
I'd always wanted to see Sinatra.
288
00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:08,515
And guess what?
She let me buy the tickets!
289
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:10,019
It was that easy,
just 'cause you said
290
00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:11,555
how much you wanted to see
Frank Sinatra?
291
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:15,684
Yeah, that and that I only had
three weeks to live.
292
00:18:18,463 --> 00:18:21,330
- Dorothy...
- These are desperate times, Rose.
293
00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:24,562
Boy, I'll say.
Today, when I went to the dean's office...
294
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:26,661
I got tickets, too.
This is such a coincidence.
295
00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:28,171
I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard...
296
00:18:28,239 --> 00:18:32,539
No! No, no, no, please.
I cannot bear that again.
297
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:35,636
She was listening to her car radio...
big band, not all talk.
298
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:36,874
There was a contest.
299
00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:39,473
Something about a little voice, a lucky
number and a dime in a door handle.
300
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:42,918
Then bim, bam, boom,
she won the tickets.
301
00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:46,782
Take a lesson, Rose.
302
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:49,960
That's how you tell a story.
303
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:57,693
Blanche, here we've been
running on about the concert,
304
00:18:57,769 --> 00:19:00,465
and you haven't even had
a chance to tell your story.
305
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:01,470
Go ahead.
306
00:19:01,539 --> 00:19:04,474
Never mind.
I don't feel like it anymore.
307
00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:07,136
Honey, come on, we're sorry.
We're listening now.
308
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:09,908
You have our complete attention.
309
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:11,380
All right.
310
00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:15,579
- I went to see Dean Tucker today.
- So, big talker...
311
00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:20,551
- did you get your mitts on any tickets yet?
- As a matter of fact, I did.
312
00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:26,962
- Three tickets, rear orchestra.
- Three tickets, third row center.
313
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:31,569
- Ma, how in the world did you get these?
- Easy. I called Frank.
314
00:19:31,636 --> 00:19:34,662
I told you I had connections.
315
00:19:34,739 --> 00:19:37,139
You know Frank Sinatra?
316
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:40,075
No, Frank Caravicci...
317
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:41,772
from the fish market.
318
00:19:41,846 --> 00:19:45,247
He's always been good to me.
Never a bad piece of cod.
319
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:47,443
- He knows Frank.
- Sinatra?
320
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,455
No, Frank Tortoni, the dry cleaner,
321
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,218
Tina's third cousin once removed.
322
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:57,091
- Tina Tortoni?
- Tina Sinatra!
323
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:05,136
Ten tickets! What are we gonna do
with ten whole tickets?
324
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:08,263
I got it, I got it.
We'll go scalp them in front of the theater.
325
00:20:08,339 --> 00:20:11,433
Oh, Rose.
After what we went through to get them,
326
00:20:11,509 --> 00:20:13,409
the least we can do is break even.
327
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:16,311
And believe me, whoever gets these tickets
is gonna be very grateful.
328
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:19,748
- Now, what do you say?
- Oh, who cares what she has to say?
329
00:20:20,251 --> 00:20:21,775
I have been trying for five minutes
330
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,718
to tell you about my meeting
with Dean Tucker,
331
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:26,586
and all you two can do
is go on about your silly concert.
332
00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:29,126
Blanche, I'm sorry.
What can we do for you?
333
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:31,526
Nothing.
I've decided I have to do it myself.
334
00:20:31,596 --> 00:20:33,029
Since the dean was no help whatever,
335
00:20:33,097 --> 00:20:35,861
I've decided the only one
who can help me is me.
336
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,198
I'm going to show that
Professor Cooper something.
337
00:20:38,636 --> 00:20:42,538
Now if you'll excuse me, ladies,
I have some tall studying to do.
338
00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:45,508
Only first I think,
as a reward for working so hard,
339
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,307
I'll make myself an ice cream sundae.
340
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:51,408
Rose, I suggest you leave the room.
341
00:20:51,482 --> 00:20:55,441
I may get a little crazy
with the chopped nuts.
342
00:21:10,401 --> 00:21:13,234
Pencils down.
343
00:21:13,304 --> 00:21:17,468
- Well, where is everybody?
- Just you and me, Blanche.
344
00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:21,573
Well, looks like we're finally
at the crossroads.
345
00:21:21,646 --> 00:21:22,738
Whatever do you mean?
346
00:21:22,814 --> 00:21:26,272
I mean, I know you've been having trouble
with this course,
347
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:29,377
and I'd hate to see you
have to repeat it.
348
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:32,855
Professor Cooper,
I've been thinking about what you said,
349
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:35,916
and I have no intention
of repeating this course.
350
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:38,986
Good. I'm glad you decided
to take me up on my offer.
351
00:21:39,063 --> 00:21:42,760
Oh, I'm declining your offer,
but I do want to thank you.
352
00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:44,699
- For what?
- Well, thanks to you,
353
00:21:44,769 --> 00:21:48,034
I studied all day and all night.
And whenever I felt like giving up,
354
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:50,506
I would just think about
what kind of man you really are,
355
00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:53,373
and I'd study even harder.
In fact, you made me so mad,
356
00:21:53,444 --> 00:21:56,072
I decided to get an A on this test
come hell or high water,
357
00:21:56,147 --> 00:21:58,615
and I think I did.
358
00:21:58,683 --> 00:22:01,277
I, sir, am a lady.
359
00:22:01,352 --> 00:22:03,252
Maybe not the smartest
lady in the world,
360
00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:07,223
but I do know that my self-respect is more
important than passing your damn course.
361
00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:11,752
So you, sir, can kiss my A.
362
00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:23,337
Oh, thank goodness you're...
I have been worried sick!
363
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:25,399
Do you realize it's almost
two in the morning?
364
00:22:25,476 --> 00:22:27,205
I was about to call the police!
365
00:22:27,278 --> 00:22:29,872
You should have.
That's who we were with.
366
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:33,384
- What? What happened?
- Look, I don't want to talk about it.
367
00:22:33,484 --> 00:22:36,453
Oh, well, all right, but somebody tell me
before I die of suspense.
368
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:40,855
My brilliant daughter scalped the tickets
to an undercover policeman.
369
00:22:40,925 --> 00:22:42,893
Ma, get off my back, huh?
370
00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:45,327
You're lucky I was with you.
You'd still be in the slammer
371
00:22:45,396 --> 00:22:48,229
if I hadn't faked that heart attack.
372
00:22:48,299 --> 00:22:50,927
My life will be ruined
if this ever gets home to St. Olaf.
373
00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:56,065
What'll they do, Rose?
Revoke your ice fishing license?
374
00:22:56,741 --> 00:22:59,642
Take back your helmet with the horns?
375
00:23:00,178 --> 00:23:01,645
I mean, I'm the injured party.
376
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:05,581
Obviously, I am destined
to never see Frank Sinatra face to face.
377
00:23:06,150 --> 00:23:08,778
They're called longenhodden.
378
00:23:15,259 --> 00:23:18,854
What is called longenhodden?
379
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:21,262
The helmet with the horns.
380
00:23:21,966 --> 00:23:24,025
- Why, for two...
- Wait! Dorothy...
381
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:27,936
Girls! Not one soul
has asked me about my test.
382
00:23:28,006 --> 00:23:31,066
Oh, Blanche, we forgot.
How did it go?
383
00:23:31,142 --> 00:23:33,872
Well, I think I passed
with flying colors.
384
00:23:33,945 --> 00:23:36,709
But best of all, I told off
that nasty old professor.
385
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:39,909
Honey, congratulations.
You're going to be a college graduate.
386
00:23:39,984 --> 00:23:41,576
Oh, we're so proud of you.
387
00:23:41,652 --> 00:23:43,984
Thank you, but I couldn't have done it
without you girls.
388
00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:46,387
Oh, now you can get
that promotion at the museum.
389
00:23:46,457 --> 00:23:49,551
Oh, no, didn't I tell you?
That position was filled.
390
00:23:49,627 --> 00:23:50,924
Oh, you're kidding.
391
00:23:50,995 --> 00:23:53,020
No, the museum director
gave it to Sally Folgeson.
392
00:23:53,097 --> 00:23:59,468
The money I spent on tuition,
she spent on a tummy tuck and a butt lift.
393
00:23:59,904 --> 00:24:01,769
Blanche, I hope you're not discouraged.
394
00:24:01,839 --> 00:24:04,000
Oh, not one bit.
My time will come.
395
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:09,945
One day, her butt will turn to mush,
but I'll always have my degree.
34615
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