Original subtitles

[ SLOW CHRISTMAS MEDLEY PLAYS ]

[ DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

HI, MR. LAWSON.

I'M COLLECTING TODAY.

[ CHANGE RATTLES ]CAN'T AFFORD IT NO MORE, EM.

TAKE US OFF YOUR LIST.

[ BELL RINGING ]

♪ ...ALL IS BRIGHT

♪ ROUND YON VIRGIN...

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

DAD.

[ CHANGE RATTLES ]

[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ SIGHS ]

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO? I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU!

COME ON, EM. IT'S ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

I'M GONNA COME AND GET YOU BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

COME ON, NOW.

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE TOUGHER THAN THAT.

YOU ARE GONNA LIKE YOUR AUNT DELORES.

SHE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.

DO YOU PROMISE YOU'LL COME AND GET ME?

OH, BY CHRISTMAS.

PROMISE?

I WILL.

CROSS YOUR HEART AND HOPE TO DIE?

I PROMISE, CROSS MY HEART.

CROSS MY HEART.

[ BARKING ]

HI, THERE. PUPPIES FOR ME?

JUST KEEP COMING, MRS. STEVENS.

NINE MORE DOGS FOR THAT ORPHANAGE OF YOURS.

YEAH, ALL ADDRESSED TO THE DOG LADY OF DOVERVILLE.

GUESS THAT WOULD BE YOU.

OKAY, LET'S SEE --

"DOG LADY," "DOG LADY," "DOG LADY,"

[ GASPS ] HI! WE GOT A POODLE HERE. YES.

I'LL TAKE THESE GUYS.

GOOD BOY.

[ BARKING ]

JUST SET IT IN THERE.

THANK YOU.

JUST PUT THOSE OVER HERE.

OKAY, THANK YOU.

[ BARKING AND WHINING ]

OH! HI, SWEETHEART, YES.

WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU A NICE HOME.

OKAY. CAN YOU GET THE POODLE, PLEASE?

HERE, LET ME HELP.

I DON'T NEED NO HELP FROM A GIRL.

OBVIOUSLY YOU DO.

NO. STOP.

STOP!

JUST LEAVE IT.

[ BARKS ]LEAVE IT!

I GOT IT! L-LEAVE IT!

OHH!

GIRLS ARE WORTHLESS!

OH! COME HERE, BOY. COME ON.

MAX!

HMM.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER, REVS ]

[ WHIMPERS ]

THE DOGS WILL GO.

THAT'S WHAT I PROMISED.

THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

IT WAS AFTER THE UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT...

[ WHISPERING ]

...THAT THIS TOWN ROSE UP AND DID WHAT HAD TO BE DONE.

"CITY ORDINANCE 109, SECTION 2,

"DECEMBER 1906 --

"FORTHWITH, IT SHALL BE UNLAWFUL

FOR A DOG TO RESIDE, BARK, BREED, OR FOUL --"

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

THAT LAW, MY FRIENDS, CREATED BY YOUR REVERED PREDECESSORS,

ONCE DEFINED THIS TOWN.

AND SO IT SHALL AGAIN.

TO THAT END,

I HAVE DULY APPOINTED MR. NORMAN DOYLE

DOGCATCHER OF DOVERVILLE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

AND I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT NORMAN IS MY BROTHER.

[ LAUGHS ]

THANK YOU, NOBEL.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UH, ON MY HONOR,

I WILL DO MY BEST TO DO IN THE DOGS OF --

I MEAN, TO DO, UH, MY DUTY BY THE DOGS OF DOVERVILLE.

AND I PROMISE TO MAKE MY BROTHER NOBLE PROUD OF ME.

[ CAT MEOWS ][ LAUGHS ]

OLD SCRATCH HERE CAN SMELL A DOG A MILE AWAY.

AND AS FOR ME, WELL, Y'ALL KNOW I HATE DOGS.

I HATE 'EM, SO...

[ LAUGHS ] RRRR!

[ DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

[ GASPING ]

[ PANTING ]

HERE, BOY. C-COME HERE.

COME HERE, MAX. IT'S OKAY.

COME HERE.

HERE, BOY. HERE, BOY.

YEAH, GOOD JOB. GOOD JOB, MAX.

[ GASPING ]

COME ON, COME ON, MAX. COME ON.

GET IN! MIKE, GET IN!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LADY? GIVE ME THAT DOG!

COME ON, MELVIN! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!

GO! GO!

FASTER, MOM! FASTER! HURRY!

THEY'RE CATCHING UP!

GO! GO!

AAH! AAH!

[ LAUGHS ] GOODBYE, DOGCATCHER.

OH! WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME, SCRATCH.

[ MEOWS ]

[ CROW CAWING ]

I'M EMMA.

ARE YOU AUNT DELORES?

WHATEVER YOU'RE PEDDLING, I'M NOT INTERESTED.

NOW GET ON OUT OF HERE.

MY DAD WROTE YOU THAT I WAS COMING.

WHO'S YOUR DAD?

YOU'RE DOUGLAS O'CONNOR'S GIRL?

THAT RAT!

I AM NOT YOUR AUNT,

AND I AM NOT THE DUMB DORA HE TAKES ME FOR!

DID HE SEND YOU HERE?

HE WROTE YOU A LETTER.

WELL, I NEVER GOT IT.

AND YOU CAN JUST GO RIGHT BACK AND TELL YOUR DEAR DADDY

THAT YOUR AUNTDELORES IS DEAD AND BURIED.

COME ON.

AND BURNED! COME ON.

AND SPRINKLED OVER THE OCEAN AS FAR AS HE IS CONCERNED.

NOW SIT BACK.

WHERE YOU FROM, SWEETHEART?

PITTSBURGH...

THE GRAVE OF THE WORLD.

WELL, YOU CAN'T EXPECT THE CHILD

TO FIND HER WAY BACK TO PITTSBURGH.

MY DAD'S COMING BY CHRISTMAS.

HE'S COMING HERE?

WELL, GO WAIT FOR HIM SOMEPLACE ELSE.

OH!

DELORES, FOR GOODNESS' SAKES!

YOU COME BACK HERE, CHILD.

OKAY.

BUT LOOK, YOU NEED TO GET SOMETHING REAL STRAIGHT --

I AM NOT YOUR AUNT, AND I DID NOT GET A LETTER.

YOUR GOOD-FOR-NOTHING FATHER AND I MAY HAVE...

BEEN, WELL...NEVER MIND.

BUT DON'T YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE

YOU AND ME ARE FAMILY.

OH! SUCH A RAT!

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY DAD LIKE THAT.

[ LAUGHING ]

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO WASH THAT SMART MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP?

OH, HER BARK'S A LOT WORSE THAN HER BITE.

YOU KNOW, I BET YOU'RE HUNGRY.

YOU CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. YOU FIX YOUR OWN FOOD.

ANH-ANH. UNH.

DELORES, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.

OHH!

I AM GOING TO KEEP TRACK, YOU KNOW.

AND WHAT'S MORE, I EXPECT YOU TO GET A JOB

AND PAY YOUR OWN WAY.

I'M SURE HE DIDN'T GIVE YOU ANY MONEY.

HE COULD IF HE WANTED.

GIRLS DON'T GET JOBS, DELORES.

OF COURSE THEY DO.

WE VOTE, WE WORK, WE TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES.

IT'S CERTAINLY BETTER SHE LEARNS TO LOOK AFTER HERSELF

BEFORE SHE FINDS OUT THE HARD WAY

YOU SURE CAN'T TRUST A MAN TO DO IT.

I'VE HAD A JOB BEFORE.

IN FACT, YOU CANNOT TRUST A MAN, PERIOD.

WHAT ABOUT THAT LOVELY WOMAN WITH ALL THE ORPHAN DOGS?

I'M SURE SHE COULD USE SOME HELP.

DOGS DON'T LIKE ME MUCH.

OH, COURSE THEY DO!

DOGS LIKE EVERYBODY.

RUFF! RUFF! RUFF! RI-YI!

[ DOG BARKS ]

A HAM SANDWICH.

UM, THE SCHOOL IS RIGHT ON THE MAIN ROAD,

AND DO NOT BE LATE, OR MISS WALSH WILL KEEP YOU AFTER.

AND "AFTER" IS WHEN YOU NEED TO GET A JOB.

[ SIGHS ]

[ DOGS WHIMPERING ]

AH! GOTCHA!

YOU -- AHH!

OH! OH!

[ DOG WHIMPERS ]

HOLD STILL, NOW.

HOLD STILL.

OH! OH! YOU'RE HURTING ME.

Come on, puppy. Come on, puppy, come on.

Come on, puppy. Come on, puppy.

Come on. Come on.

WHERE ARE YOU?

COME ON.

HUH?

COME ON, YOU LITTLE MUTT.

HUH?

[ DOG BARKS ]

OH!

MELVIN!

WHOA! MELVIN!

MELVIN!

[ ENGINE STOPS ]

[ GASPS ]

[ GASPING ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]OH! AAH!

YOU STUPID --

DON'T WORRY.

AAH!

FORWARD.

AAAAH!

CLOSER! CLOSER!

RIGHT THERE!

MOVE IT! MOVE IT, MELVIN!

MELVIN!

ALMOST THERE.

YOU SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL. [ SPEAKING RUSSIAN ]

TARDINESS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

SHOULDERS BACK, BOTTOM UNDER.

IS THAT YOUR LITTLE DOG?

DOGS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN SCHOOL.

[ DOG WHIMPERING ]

IT'S AN OLD WIVES' TALE THAT DOGS ARE GOOD FOR GIRLS.

DON'T YOU EVER BRING THAT DOG INTO THIS SCHOOL AGAIN.

AM I MAKING MYSELF PERFECTLY CLEAR?

[ WHIMPERING ]

[ BARKS ]

I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU, I PROMISE.

YOU'LL BE OKAY.

[ WHIMPERING ]

♪ THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

♪ ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING, TEN LORDS A-LEAPING ♪

♪ NINE LADIES DANCING, EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKING ♪

♪ SEVEN SWANS A-SWIMMING, SIX GEESE A-LAYING ♪

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RINGS

GOOD.

♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE -- ♪

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

[ STUDENTS MURMURING ]

CLASS, I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO MEET EMMA...

O'CONNOR.

EMMA O'CONNOR.

EMMA O'CONNOR.

AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM, EMMA O'CONNOR?

PITTS--

[ MURMURING CONTINUES ]

I LIVE IN NEW YORK.

GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD.

WELL, WELCOME TO DOVERVILLE, EMMA.

THIS IS JUST PERFECT BECAUSE WE'VE LOOKING, LOOKING, LOOKING

FOR A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE.

I DON'T SING.

OF COURSE YOU DO. EVERYONE SINGS.

ANYWAY, I WON'T BE HERE THAT LONG.

MY DAD --

MY DAD AND MY MOM ARE COMING TO GET ME BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

MY DAD SAID I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL IF I DON'T WANT TO.

AN INSOLENT ATTITUDE LIKE THAT

CAN ONLY GET A LITTLE GIRL IN TROUBLE.

[ PIANO KEYS SOUND ]DO YOU HAVE --

OH! [ BLOWS ]

OH!

[ BLOWING ]

UH...

OOH! OH!

UH, REHEARSAL'S, UH, OVER.

WHOO-HOO.

IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?

LOOK, YOU CANNOT LEAVE A PUPPY IN A DARK BOX.

I COULD HEAR HIM CRYING -- HE WAS CRYING --

FROM ALL THE WAY IN FRONT.

WELL, THEY TOOK HIS MOTHER.

THE NEW DOGCATCHER?

THAT'S AWFUL.

WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH HER?

NOBODY KNOWS. THEY JUST DISAPPEAR.

HE PROBABLY THINKS YOU'RE HIS MOM NOW,

EXCEPT A MOM WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU IN A DARK BOX

AND JUST GO AWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE WHAT I DO IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

OHH!

YOU'VE NEVER HAD A DOG, HAVE YOU?

MAYBE I HAVE AND MAYBE I HAVEN'T.

NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE DOGS IN NEW YORK.

DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A DOG IN NEW YORK IF YOU'RE VERY RICH.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, I HAVE TWO DOGS.

WELL, IF YOUR PARENTS ARE SO RICH,

WHY'D THEY SEND YOU OUT HERE WITH DELORES SNIVELY?

LOOK, DO YOU WANT TO BRING HIM OVER TO MY PLACE?

WE'LL GET HIM SOMETHING TO EAT.

WE HAVE LOTS OF DOGS.

IF YOU'LL STOP BLABBING ABOUT MY PARENTS.

[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]OKAY.

UM, THIS IS A GIRL. SHE HAS A DOG, SO...

WELL, SHE'S COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.

[ DOGS BARKING ]

HERE, PUPPIES.

HELLO, SAMSON.

HI, DOGGIE. GOOD DOG.

SUCH A GOOD PUPPY.

COME HERE, YehTeh.

OOH, YehTeh.

COME HERE, YehTeh.

THIS IS MAX.

Hi, Max.

HOW YOU DOING?

ARE YOU GOING TO COME OUT, BOY?

OKAY, GOOD BOY.

GOTTA EAT, MAX. COME ON.

COME ON.

HE WON'T COME OUT.

HOW COME?

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SO SAD.

COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU THE REST OF THE DOGS.

YES, ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OH, WELL, NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW WHO HE BELONGS TO.

SO, WHAT YOU GONNA CALL HIM?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, HE'S GOT TO HAVE A NAME.

DOUGLAS O'CONNOR.

YOU CAN'T NAME A DOG "DOUGLAS O'CONNOR."

WHY NOT?

DOUGLAS O'CONNOR -- IT'S JUST NOT A DOG'S NAME.

YEAH, WELL, WHAT ABOUT YehTeh?

THAT'S A PERFECT DOG'S NAME.

MY MOM SAYS IT'S FRAUGHT WITH MEANING.

[ LAUGHS ]

SEE? LOOK AT HER FUR. IT'S LIKE SNOW.

AND LOOK AT HER FACE.

YOU CAN'T SEE HER FACE.

OF COURSE! THAT'S WHY HER NAME'S YehTeh.

IT'S THE NAME OF THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN.

[ SCOFFS ] WELL... YehTeh's A GIRL.

THERE'S A GIRL ABOMINABLE SNOW-- SNOWLADIES.

LOOK, DOUGLAS O'CONNOR'S THE DUMBEST NAME

I'VE EVER HEARD.

WHAT ABOUT "M" FOR EMMA?

HE'S NOT MY DOG ANYWAY.

HEY, YOU WANT US TO TAKE CARE OF HIM

UNTIL WE CAN FIND OUT WHO HIS MAMA IS?

YEAH.

OKAY. COME ON. LET ME TAKE YOU HOME.

ALL SET, SWEETHEART?

UH-OH.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT SOMEONE TO LOOK AFTER.

YOUR AUNT DELORES LIKE DOGS?

SHE LOVES DOGS.

[ FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS ]

DID YOU GET A JOB?

Emma: NO.

YOU BETTER BE GETTING A JOB AND PAYING YOUR FAIR SHARE

OR YOU'LL BE GOING HUNGRY AND LIVING IN THE WOODS!

YOU HEAR ME?

[ FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS ]

[ WHIMPERING, SNIFFING ]

LOOK, HONEY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT --

I KNOW A FELLOW WHO WILL GIVE YOU A JOB IF I ASK HIM.

HE, UH, YOU KNOW, WORSHIPS THE GROUND I WALK ON.

[ LAUGHS ] POOR SOUL.

WHAT DOES YOUR BOYFRIEND DO?

[ SIGHS ] HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

HE JUST THINKS HE'S SOME BIG HOTSHOT NOW

'CAUSE HE WAS PROMOTED FROM GARBAGE TO ANIMAL CONTROL.

YOU'RE GONNA GET ME A JOB WITH THE DOGCATCHER?

JUST UNTIL YOUR DAD SHOWS UP.

[ DOG WHIMPERS ]

I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU.

WHINING DOES NOT MAKE TROUBLES ANY BETTER.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET ME A JOB, AUNT DELORES.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE TOLD YOU TO CALL ME THAT!

DON'T BOTHER THE DOGCATCHER.

I'LL GET A JOB. I WILL.

[ SIGHS ]

[ DOG YIPS ]

IS THAT HOW YOU ALWAYS WEAR YOUR HAIR, HONEY?

OH.

[ FOOTSTEPS FADING ]

COACH CULLIMORE WAS KIND ENOUGH

TO TAKE OVER THE CHRISTMAS PROGRAM.

MRS. CLANCY HAD HER BABY, AS YOU KNOW.

OH, AND BE SURE, MR. CULLIMORE, THAT EMMA O'CONNOR,

WHO IS FROM PITTSBURGH AND NOT FROM NEW YORK,

NOR IS SHE GOING HOME ANYTIME SOON,

I NOW UNDERSTAND,

WILL BE THE PARTRIDGE IN THE PEAR TREE.

I UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR AUNT DELORES

HAS TROUBLE WITH THE TRUTH AS WELL --

A GENETIC TENDENCY, NO DOUBT.

Cullimore: OKAY, LET'S SEE THAT PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OKAY, WE HAVE OUR PARTRIDGE IN THE PEAR TREE.

AND, UM, TURTLEDOVES, RIGHT?

WHO ARE THE FRENCH HENS?

RIGHT. OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S, UH, LET'S TRY IT.

WHEW.

[ Bass voice ] ♪ UH, UH, UH

[ High-pitched voice ] ♪ UH, I'M NOT VERY...

[ Off-key ] ♪ UN, UN, UN

COACH.

COACH, OKAY, UM...

THAT'S GREAT! DO YOU PLAY?

NO, BUT MY MOM, SHE'S MAKING ME TAKE LESSONS.

SHE PLAYS REALLY WELL.

DO YOU THINK SHE'D BE WILLING TO COME AND PLAY FOR US?

WELL, NOT IF IASK HER.

I'VE DELIVERED PAPERS BEFORE.

WELL, WE'VE NEVER REALLY HAD A PAPER BOY -- GIRL -- BEFORE.

I USUALLY TAKE THEM AROUND MYSELF.

I REALLY NEED THIS JOB.

I'M SORRY. THERE'S REALLY NOTHING HERE.

WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME BY?

HEY, I HEAR YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A JOB.

THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS A JOB FOR KIDS,

ESPECIALLY FOR GIRLS.

SHUT UP.

HEY, YOU TRY OLD JAKE?

THERE'S THIS OLD GUY DOWN BY THE RIVER.

HE ALWAYS HAS CHORES FOR US KIDS.

REALLY?

YEAH!

JUST FOLLOW THE RIVER TO THE OLD BRIDGE.

IT'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

THANK YOU.

IT'S A WAYS, BUT IT'S WORTH IT.

YEAH, IF YOU LIKE BEING EATEN BY DOGS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ DOGS GROWLING ]

[ BARKING ]

[ SHOUTS ]

THESE SIGNS AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR YOU?

JUST BECAUSE I SAVED YOUR HIDE

DON'T MEAN I WON'T LET THE DOGS EAT YOU.

I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB...

SIR.

YOU MUST NOT BE FROM AROUND HERE.

NO, SIR.

I CAN WORK EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL.

THOSE BULLY BOYS -- THEY SEND YOU OUT HERE?

YES, SIR.

AGH! THEY NEED TO BE THRASHED.

THEY'RE A BUNCH OF HOODLUMS.

I CAN WORK SATURDAYS, TOO, IF YOU WANT.

I AIN'T USED TO HAVING KIDS WORKING HERE.

I HATE KIDS, MOSTLY.

SO DO THE DOGS...

USUALLY.

I...I LOVE DOGS.

THEY LOVE THE SCRAPS.

IT MAKES THEM THINK THEY'RE PEOPLE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HOW YOU GET WAY OUT HERE?

WALKED.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ SPEAKING RUSSIAN ]

AH, GO AWAY.

[ BARKS ]

[ CLICKING ]

[ CRASH ]

[ FAINT BARKING ]

[ BARKING ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ BARKS ]

[ BARKING ]

[ GASPS ]

HE WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT.

[ GASPING ]

I'M SORRY. I'LL CLEAN IT UP.

DO NOT...TOUCH...ANYTHING.

Y-YOU GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR ROOM.

AND TAKE THAT -- IS THAT A DOG? --

DOG WITH YOU.

AND TOMORROW I AM GOING TO FIND YOU ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE.

[ DOG WHIMPERING ]

A DO-- A DOG?

OH!

I...DON'T...KNOW...

WHAT'S...HAPPENING TO ME.

[ SIGH ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

UH, WHO IS IT?

HO-HO-HO!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MWAH, MWAH, MWAH.

MWAH?

MISTLETOE, SEE? MISTLETOE.

OH.

[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]

OH.

WELL, UH, KNOW ANYONE AROUND HERE

WHO MIGHT BE WILLING TO GIVE A NEWLY PROMOTED CITY OFFICIAL

A CUP OF COFFEE?

[ LAUGHS ]

CUP OF COFFEE?

OHH!

OH, WELL, UH, A-ANY OTHER MORNING, NORMAN,

BUT I-I'VE GOT MABEL COMING OVER IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES,

AND I'VE GOT TO GET CURLERS --

I JUST WANT A CUP OF COFFEE, NOT THE WHOLE DARN POT,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WELL, I -- [ YOWLS ]

OUCH.

HUH. SHE SMELLS A DOG.

YOU GOT A DOG?

A DOG? A DOG.

DOG. DOG!

OH, DOG! NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

WHY WOULD I HAVE A DOG?

WELL, SHE SURE SMELLS A DOG.

A-A DOG?

A D-DOG?

[ SCRATCH YOWLS ]UH, H-HOW ABOUT A CUP OF COFFEE, NORMAN?

THERE'S NO TIME FOR COFFEE. THERE'S A DOG IN THIS HOUSE.

NO, UH, WAIT, NORMAN.

UH, WAIT, NORMAN.

UH, UH...

HOW ABOUT A HAIRCUT AND A SHAVE

BEFORE THAT COFFEE, NORMAN?

[ Loudly ] TAKE YOUR MIND OFF CATCHING DOGS.

[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]

HAIRCUT AND A SHAVE

OR A HAIRCUT AND A SHAVE?

WELL, I MEAN A HAIRCUT AND A SHAVE, NORMAN.

[ LAUGHS ]

HAIRCUT AND A SHAVE. SCAT, CAT.

[ SCRATCH YOWLS ]

WELL!

UH, NORMAN.

[ LAUGHS ] THIS IS A SIDE OF YOU I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE, DELORES.

OH!

OOH-HOO-HOO. WHOO!

OH!

[ LAUGHS ]

SUDDENLY SHY. [ LAUGHS ]

SLIPPING INTO SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE?

[ LAUGHS ] DELORES?

DELORES?

[ YOWLS ]

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

OW!

[ YOWLS ]

THIS CAT -- HER NOSE IS NEVER WRONG.

THERE IS DEFINITELY A DOG IN HERE!

UH, IT'S JUST MAN HAIR, HONEY.

WHEN IT'S WET, IT ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE DOGS. AGHH!

Cathy: SO, YOUR AUNT DELORES DOESN'T REALLY LIKE DOGS?

NO, AUNT DELORES LIKES DOGS FINE.

IT'S JUST SINCE SHE'S NOT FEELING TOO WELL,

I WAS HOPING HE COULD STAY WITH YOU FOR A WHILE.

WELL, OF COURSE HE CAN. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU?

IF YOUR AUNT'S NOT FEELING WELL,

IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA IF YOU STAYED WITH US AS WELL.

YEAH.

I MEAN, IF YOU WANT ME TO.

OF COURSE.

[ HORN HONKS ]

[ DOGS BARKING ]

AH, MRS. STEVENS.

I NEVER DID THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT

DURING MY CAMPAIGN.

THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE I DIDN'T VOTE FOR YOU, MR. DOYLE.

IT'S MAYORDOYLE NOW, MRS. STEVENS, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

AND, UH, TO WHAT DO WE OWE THE HONOR, YOUR HONOR?

OH, WELL, I CAN APPRECIATE THAT LIVING OUT OF TOWN

ALL THESE YEARS HAS DEPRIVED YOU OF ANY REAL SENSE OF COMMUNITY.

BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER IN THE COUNTRY, MRS. STEVENS.

OUR TOWN IS GROWING, YOU MIGHT SAY,

AND, WELL, YOU ARE NOW INSIDE THE CITY LIMITS.

SO LET'S JUST CALL OUR LITTLE VISIT YOUR OFFICIAL WELCOME.

[ LAUGHS ] WELL, THANK YOU.

OH, THAT MEANS, OF COURSE, THE DOGS WILL HAVE TO GO.

IT TAKES MORE THAN MOVING A SIGN TO CHANGE A TOWN, MR. DOYLE.

THE DOGS ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE AND NEITHER AM I.

THE DOGS WILLGO, MRS. STEVENS.

AND FOR THEIR SAKE,

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT AS FOOLISH AS YOU SOUND.

[ CROW CAWS ]

[ SIGHS ]

HOW CAN YOU BE OUT? IT WAS JUST DELIVERED LAST WEEK.

WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY STOCKING KIBBLES FOR DOGS ANYMORE.

I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, RALPH.

I AM.

I'M SORRY.

ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO THROW AWAY.

I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.

BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS GIVEN ME YOUR TRIMS!

AH, TIMES BEING WHAT THEY ARE,

I-I JUST DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.

NO TROUBLE. YOU CAN CALL IT A DONATION.

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER HE'S PROMISED YOU, JOHN,

I HOPE IT'S WORTH IT.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ GRUNTS ]

HEY, YehTeh.

COME ON, HURRY.COME ON, LET'S GO.

OH! ALL RIGHT, WE'RE SO LATE.

BYE, PUP. WE'RE ALWAYS LATE.

HEY, MOM.

[ BARKING ]

UNTIL MRS. CLANCY COMES BACK,

YOU WILL BE LEARNING SPELLING FROM ME.

MIRANDA, YOUR WORD IS "DISCIPLINE."

DISCIPLINE.

D-I-S-C-P-L-I-N-E.

THE BRANCH OF LEARNING, TRAINING, OR EXPERIENCE.

PUNISHMENT OR CONTROL GAINED BY OBEDIENCE.

GOOD. VERY GOOD.

EMMA.

EMMA O'CONNOR.

YOUR WORD IS "PREVARICATION."

PREVARICATION.

[ BARKING ]P-R-E-V-A--

[ LAUGHTER ][ GASPS ]

GIVE ME THAT DOG.

COME, COME, COME, COME.

OUT, OUT. BACK TO YOUR SCHOOLWORK!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S GOING ON?

PREVARICATION. P-R-E-V-A--

IT'S A DEVIATION FROM THE TRUTH.

[ GRUNTS ]

DID YOU BRING THAT DOG TO SCHOOL?

WHAT DOG?

COME ON, COME ON.

IN, IN, IN.

Hide. What?

I'll make him follow me.

Be careful.

[ MEOWS ]COME ON, OLD SCRATCH.

LET'S GO FIND US A D-O-G.

[ YOWLS ]

AAH![ YOWLS ]

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

COME ON, SCRATCH. OKAY.

YOU'RE CAUSING ME A LOT OF TROUBLE,

BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS ONE.

WHERE ARE YOU?

WHERE ARE YOU?

[ YOWLS ]UH-HUH.

YOU WOULDN'T BE HIDING FROM ME, WOULD YOU?

I'LL FIND YOU, YOU LITTLE BRAT.

[ SCRATCH YOWLS ]

COME ON.

[ BANG ]

[ YIPS ]

[ YIPPING ][ LAUGHS MENACINGLY ]

LOOK WHAT I HAVE, PUPPY.

COME AND GET HER.

HUH? COME AND GET HER.

YEAH.

GOTCHA!

[ DOG BARKING ]

Mike: EMMA.

GET ME DOWN.

HOW'D YOU GET UP THERE?

GET ME DOWN. HELP ME.

UH, EXCUSE ME.

CAN YOU, UH, TELL ME WHERE 209 OLD RIVER ROAD IS?

UH, WHO YOU LOOKING FOR?

MIKE STEVENS.

I'M DENTON CULLIMORE FROM THE SCHOOL.

ACTUALLY, I'M LOOKING FOR HIS MOTHER --

THE DOG LADY.

THE DOG LADY.

UM, NOW, WHY WOULD A RESPECTABLE TEACHER --

WELL, I'M -- I'M ALSO THE COACH.

WHY WOULD THE COACH WANT TO MEET THAT CRAZY WOMAN?

SO IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY, THEN?

OH, MUCH WORSE, I'M AFRAID.

REALLY?

MM-HMM.

DO YOU KNOW HER?

UM...MUCH BETTER THAN I'D LIKE TO, ACTUALLY.

YEAH, I'VE HEARD AROUND TOWN SHE'S A LITTLE, YOU KNOW...

[ LAUGHS ] BUT I'M REALLY DESPERATE TO MEET HER,

SO, UM, CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE SHE LIVES?

IF YOU'RE DESPERATE -- YOU JUST MISSED IT.

IT'S RIGHT THERE.

OH.

THANKS.

OH, THE DOGS -- ARE THEY, UM, ARE THEY FRIENDLY?

VICIOUS...MOSTLY.

OKAY.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ SNICKERS ]

HI. I JUST CAME TO GET MY STUFF.

YOU ARE MAKING A MESS -- MUD.

OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

WITH MRS. STEVENS.

LOOK, SWEETIE, I GOT TO THINKING ABOUT THAT,

AND, WELL --

CAN YOU STILL GET ME THAT JOB WITH THE DOGCATCHER?

YOU CERTAINLY DON'T HAVE TO PAY ME

IF YOU'RE STAYING WITH MRS. STEVENS.

I NEED THAT JOB.

PLEASE?

YOU OBVIOUSLY GOT MORE OF YOUR MOTHER.

WELL...OKAY.

IF I ASK HIM, HE WILL GIVE YOU THE JOB.

THANK YOU.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

YOU STILL HAVE MUD ON YOUR SHOES.

[ DOG BARKING ]

HELLO!

ANYBODY?

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

HEY.

YOU'RE...

CATHY STEVENS.

OH, THE CRAZY DOG LADY.

[ WHISTLES ]

I'M SO SORRY. REALLY, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.

YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST TO THINK I LOST MY MARBLES.

HOWEVER, YOU ARETHE FIRST TO BE DESPERATE TO MEET ME.

WELL, THEY PUT ME IN CHARGE OF DOING THE CHRISTMAS PROGRAM,

AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC.

AND YOU WANT ME TO PLAY THE PIANO.

YOU KNEW THAT?

MIKE -- HE MENTIONED IT,

BUT I'M JUST SORRY TO SAY I CAN'T.

THIS IS A LOT MORE THAN I BARGAINED FOR.

CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND?OH, YEAH.

THANKS.

OOPS.

UP.

HI, PUPPIES.

YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY AMAZING WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.

I MEAN, IT'S ADMIRABLE, TRULY.

WHAT AMI DOING?

IT'S GETTING HARD TO KEEP UP.

HUNGRY ORPHANS OUTNUMBER DONATIONS BY A WIDE MARGIN.

I CAN'T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF EVEN ONE OF THEM GOING HUNGRY.

I JUST WORRY I CAN'T FINISH WHAT I STARTED.

YOU NEED HELP.

[ SCOFFS ] WELL, IN THIS TOWN, NOT LIKELY.

I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU.

YOU COME PLAY PIANO FOR THE CHRISTMAS PROGRAM,

AND ME AND THE KIDS WILL HELP YOU FIND FOOD FOR THE DOGS

AND -- AND FEED THEM.

[ LAUGHS ]

AND HOW WILL YOU DO THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

UH, HAIL MARY PASS IN THE END ZONE?

UH...

UM...WE NEED A MIRACLE, THAT'S FOR SURE.

LOOK, YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED HELP.

WE CERTAINLY NEED YOU.

LET ME THINK ABOUT IT, OKAY?

OKAY.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, PUPPIES, I'VE GOT YOU.

YOU'RE OKAY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT AWFUL DOGCATCHER.

PHEW!

[ DOGS BARKING ]

YehTeh, hi.

How are you doing, girl?

How are you doing?

Hey. Hi.

I TOLD DELORES THAT HIRING A GIRL WOULD BE STUPID.

BUT THEN I DISCOVERED THAT THE GIRL

WAS THE DOG-LOVIN' TROUBLEMAKING GIRL.

AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, THAT WOULD BE GOOD

"TO HAVE HER RIGHT HERE WITH ME

SO I COULD KEEP MY EYE ON HER."

NOW, YOU REMEMBER THAT, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN ANOTHER STRAY DOG.

ALL RIGHT? GET BACK TO WORK.

[ BARKS ]

STUPID MUTT.

OKAY, UH, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THE TEN LORDS A-LEAPING --

THAT'S YOU -- NEED TO KIND OF DO AN END AROUND

AND CURL OVER THE NINE LADIES DANCING --

THAT'S YOU.

SO GO AHEAD AND...

H-HOLD ON A SECOND.

OKAY. COME DOWN THIS WAY.

YOU GIRLS, YOU GOT TO KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN.

NO TACKLING, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, NOW, WE'RE GONNA TAKE IT AGAIN

FROM THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS.

READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.

[ CHILDREN SING INDISTINCTLY ]

♪ ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY...

OH, YOU GUYS... AH...H-HOLD ON.

[ PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ]♪ EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKING

♪ SEVEN SWANS A-SWIMMING, SIX GEESE A-LAYING ♪

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RINGS

♪ GOLDEN RINGS

♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS

♪ THREE FRENCH HENS

♪ TWO TURTLE DOVES

♪ AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE ♪

[ LAUGHS ]

Cullimore: THAT WAS GREAT!

NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE'VE BEEN SAVED BY MIKEY'S MOM.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, MRS. STEVENS.

Did you find Yehteh.I found them both.

ARE THEY OKAY?SHE DIDN'T LOOK SO GOOD.

WHAT? WE GOT TO GET HER OUT OF THERE.

EMMA AND MIKE. COME ON, YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE GAME.

You got to get her out of there, fast. I WILL.

PROMISE? PROMISE.

Children: ♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS ♪

♪ TWO TURTLE DOVES

♪ AND A PEAR HEAD IN A SISSY TREE ♪

LEAVE HER ALONE!

SAYS WHO?

SAYS ME.

COME ON, YOU GUYS. KNOCK IT OFF.

I SAID, "KNOCK IT OFF"!

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING ]

STOP IT! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

SHAME ON ALL OF YOU.

TO THE OFFICE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

ALL OF YOU WILL GET CALLS FROM ME.

LET'S GO.

SEE, I TOLD YOU THE PIANO WOULD MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

LOOK, HE'S GONNA BE FINE.

IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU TO HELP US OUT LIKE THIS.

THANKS.OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

ANYTHING TO FEED THE DOGS.

YOU GOT THAT HAIL MARY ALL WORKED OUT?

[ INDISTINCT TALKING, DOGS BARKING ]

ALL RIGHT, KIDS, LISTEN UP.

KIDS. KIDS!

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[Chuckling] ALL RIGHT, SETTLE DOWN.

I GOT YOUR MATH ASSIGNMENT, SO LISTEN UP.

REMEMBER HOW TO DO STORY PROBLEMS? RIGHT?

YOU HAVE A BASKET WITH TEN APPLES IN IT, YOU TAKE TWO OUT.

HOW MANY HAVE YOU GOT?EIGHT.

EIGHT. RIGHT.

NOW JUST THINK "DOGS." HOW MANY HAVE WE GOT, MIKEY?

OKAY, SO WE GOT FOUR COCKER SPANIELS,

TEN DALMATIANS, AND SIX CHIHUAHUAS. UH-UH...

NO, SEVEN CHIHUAHUAS.

FIVE RETRIEVERS AND SEVEN BOXERS,

SANTA'S REINDEER DOGS,

FIVE BASSET HOUNDS, TWO BLACK LABS,

AND NINE LAB PUPPIES.

AND MAX.ONE POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE.

YOU HAVE TO COUNT YehTeh AND THE PUPPY

BECAUSE EMMA'S GONNA GET 'EM BACK.

SO, ALL RIGHT, HOW MANY KIDS, HOW MANY DOGS,

AND HOW MANY MEALS FOR EACH OF US?

THERE ARE 28 PUPILS,

PLUS COACH CULLIMORE AND MISS STEVENS.

THERE ARE 51 DOGS.

BUT YOU CAN'T COUNT YOUR DOG OR THE PUPPY

UNTIL EMMA ACTUALLY BRINGS THEM BACK.

IT'S NOT ALGEBRA.

EACH DOG EATS TWICE A DAY,

SO THAT MEANS EACH OF US MUST PROVIDE 3 6/10 MEALS PER DAY.

DO YOU GUYS EVER DO BACON GREASE DRIVES AROUND HERE?

UM...

WE USED TO GO HOUSE TO HOUSE

COLLECTING BACON GREASE,

ONCE A WEEK, TO SELL, AND MAKE SOAP.

DOGS CAN'T LIVE OFF BACON GREASE.

NO...BUT THEY LOVE TABLE SCRAPS.

MAKES THEM THINK THEY'RE PEOPLE.

LOOK, THE SIGN SAYS THAT THERE'S 887 PEOPLE LIVING IN DOVERVILLE.

IF HALF THAT MANY GIVE US SCRAPS, THAT'S --

444, ROUNDED UP.

THAT'S OPTIMISTIC.

BUT EVEN HALF THAT MANY.

223.

WELL, SCRAPS ARE THROWN OUT ANYWAY.

WE USED TO GET A LOT OF BACON GREASE.

THAT IS ONLY 7 1/2 HOUSES PER PERSON PER WEEK.

HOW CAN YOU VISIT HALF A HOUSE?

Cullimore: SO WHO WANTS TO JOIN THE TEAM.

I DO! I DO! I DO!

MIKEY, I'LL PUT YOU FIRST, OKAY?

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

STAY BACK, STAY BACK.

Cathy: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DOG LOVERS! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

STAY BACK.

A LITTLE EXTRA TIME, MRS. STEVENS,

IN THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON. [ CHUCKLES ]

AH...BUT, UH, I CAN ASSURE YOU --

THOSE DOGS ARE STILL HERE ON CHRISTMAS DAY, THEY ARE MINE.

ALL RIGHT, THERE WE ARE.

WHERE ARE YOU, BABY SWEETHEART? YOU'RE LATE FOR WORK.

COME ON.Cathy: WHOA, WAIT.

COME ON. GET GOING.

MELVIN!

GET IN THERE.

It's okay. Trust me. She's going to get YehTeh.

NOT ON TOP. THAT'S MY SEAT.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ CHEERING ]

YEAH!

[ DOGS WHIMPERING ]

[ SIGHS ]

YOU TRYING TO SPREAD DISEASE -- KILL US ALL?

NOW, YOU DO NOT TOUCH A DOG WITH YOUR BARE HAND!

I TOLD YOU THAT.

IT'S DISGUSTING!

OH.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON OUT HERE.

COME ON, YOU.

COME ON, COME ON.

COME ON, COME ON.

HEY, THOSE CAGES AIN'T GONNA CLEAN THEMSELVES, GIRL.

COME ON!

[ DOG WHIMPERS ]

SHUT UP. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?

COME ON.

GET HIM IN THE CAGE.

[ GRUNTING ]

[ SCREECHES ]

[ GASPS ] [ MEOWING ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ DOGS WHIMPERING, BARKING ]

HEY! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THEM DOGS FROM YAPPIN'!

SHUT 'EM UP!

HEY!

HEY, BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD LITTLE GIRLS.

YOU HEAR ME? BAD THINGS.

YOU GETTING UP TO MISCHIEF?

SHUT UP! SHUT UP, ALL YOU DOGS!

HEY, YOU KNOW DELORES ISN'T GONNA LIKE IT

IF I SEND YOU HOME FIRED WITHOUT GETTING PAID.

WHERE ARE YOU?

OH HO HO.

YOU HAVE GONE AND DONE IT NOW, YOU LITTLE BABY SWEETHEART.

YOU AND THAT DIRTY LITTLE MUTT ARE IN A MESS OF TROUBLE.

MELVIN...

[ DOGS BARKING ]

OKAY, ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING...

[Weakly] ♪ ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING

[ MUSIC PLAYS DISSONANTLY ]

YEP, YEP. BRING 'EM UP.

♪ TEN LORDS A-LEAPING

♪ NINE LADIES DANCING

♪ EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKING

♪ SEVEN SWANS A-SWIMMING YEP, BRING 'EM UP.

♪ SIX GEESE A-LAYING OKAY. PICK UP THE RINGS.

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RINGS GET THE RING. PICK IT UP. YEAH

OKAY. NO.

♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS

♪ THREE FRENCH HENS

♪ TWO TURTLE DOVES NO, JUST...

♪ AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE ♪

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR PARTRIDGE IN THE PEAR TREE?

SORRY WE'RE LATE.

SOMETHING CAME UP THAT WAS REALLY WORTH BEING LATE OVER.

HEY, WHERE'S EMMA?

SHE DIDN'T COME TO SCHOOL?

MR. DOYLE?

MR. DOYLE?

MR. DOYLE, LET ME OUT.

PLEASE.

YOU SEE, SIR, THE REASON OF WHY WE'RE COLLECTING SCRAPS

IS BECAUSE THE NUMBER OF CALORIES

SUFFICIENT FOR THE AVERAGE CANINE CREATURE IS

1,230.

SIR, SIR.

[ WHISPERING ]

♪ ANGELS WE HAVE...

[ Cockney accent ] IT'S CHRISTMAS.

OUR DOGS ARE VERY 'UNGRY.

THEY'RE GOOD LITTLE FELLAS, THEY ARE.

SO IN THE KINDNESS OF YOUR 'EART,

C-COULD YOU SPARE A LITTLE SOMETHING LEFT OVER

FROM YOUR LOVELY DINNER?

Children: ♪ GLO-O-O-O-O-O-RIA

♪ IN EXCELSIS DEO

♪ GLO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-RIA

♪ IN EXCELSIS DE-E-E-O

CATHY STEVENS.

UH...THE DOG LADY.

OH, YES.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE A HAIR APPOINTMENT?

NO. NO, NO, NO. NO, THANK YOU.

ACTUALLY, I'M CALLING BECAUSE -- IS EMMA THERE WITH YOU?

UH, NO. SHE'S NOT HERE.

I haven't seen her since she went to work last night.

AND... Well...

UH, LOOK, UM...

YOU DON'T WORRY, HONEY.

I have a pretty good idea where she is, okay?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT. WELL, THANK YOU.

[ SIGHS ]

[ DOGS BARKING ]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SO SORE ABOUT, DELORES.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO TEACH THE LITTLE BUGGER A LESSON IS ALL.

YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT SHE WAS A PAIN IN THE KEISTER.

WHERE IS SHE, NORMAN?

AROUND THE CORNER.

A CAGE?! WELL...

DID THEY HURT YOU?

I GAVE HER SOME WATER.

OH, OPEN IT NOW, NORMAN.

ALL RIGHT.

PUTTING HER IN A CAGE. COME ON.

COME ON, SCAT. SKEDOODLE.

SHE LET THE DOGS OUT.

THEY WERE BARKING ALL NIGHT.

OW.

COME ON, HONEY, HUH?

I TOLD YOU IT WAS A STUPID IDEA TO GIVE A GIRL A JOB LIKE THIS.

I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU, NORMAN.

OH, COME ON, BABY SWEETHEART, HUH?

TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN, HUH?

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, THAT IS ENOUGH!

I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

OH, YEAH, YOU WANT A FAVOR,

AND THEN IT'S ALL SWEET TALK AND PERFUME AND "OOH LA LA."

ALL THE TIME THIS RAGAMUFFIN KID

IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN I AM.

WELL, YOU ARE FIRED. AND THAT DUMB MUTT STAYS HERE.

NO!OW! OW.

COME ON.

WE'RE THROUGH, DELORES! FINE!

I REALLY MEAN IT! WONDERFUL!

WE ARE THROUGH!

DELORES?

YOU DOGS ARE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE!

THANKS FOR GETTING ME OUT OF THERE, AUNT DELORES.

DO NOTCALL ME THAT.

I COULD CRACK YOUR DADDY'S SKULL.

IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.

HE DIDN'T MEAN FOR ME TO BE SO MUCH TROUBLE.

TROUBLE? TROUBLE?

YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE.

[ GRUNTING ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

YOUR DADDY'S LETTER FINALLY GOT HERE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MOTHER?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR DADDY TOLD YOU ABOUT ME...

ABOUT US.

BUT...WELL...

A LONG TIME AGO, I KNEW YOUR DADDY REAL WELL.

AND ALL I CAN SAY IS

YOU JUST BETTER NOT GO DEPENDING ON WHAT HE SAYS.

BECAUSE EVEN WHEN HE MAKES A PROMISE,

IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN TRUST.

I'M JUST SAYING HE IS NOT LIKELY TO BE HERE BY CHRISTMAS.

OR EVER, FOR THAT MATTER.

NOW, GET IN.

YOU SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT?

CAN'T STAY WITH YOU.

NOT WITH HIMCOMING AROUND.

OKAY.

OH, I-I BROUGHT YOU A FEW THINGS.

IF YOU EVER WANTED TO COME BY...

I'D LOVE TO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT HAIR, OKAY?

OKAY.

WHERE IS SHE?

WHERE'S YehTeh?

SHE WASN'T THERE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I-I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU SAW HER.

I-I DID SEE HER.

SHE WASN'T THERE ANYMORE.

I FOUND THIS.

BUT -- BUT WHERE IS SHE NOW?

NO, YOU -- YOU SAID SHE WAS THERE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU LET HER OUT?

I DID SEE HER, BUT I COULDN'T LET HER OUT.

[Crying] YOU LIED TO ME.

NO, I DIDN'T LIE.YES, YOU DID.

I DIDN'T. D-DID THEY KILL HER?

NO, NO! YOU LET THEM KILL HER!

I COULDN'T -- DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

I WANTED TO, BUT I COULDN'T.

NO, YOU LIED TO ME, EMMA.

I DIDN'T LIE TO YOU.

YES, YOU DID! YOU NEVER TELL THE TRUTH!

YOU SAID YOU'RE FROM NEW YORK, AND YOU'RE NOT.

AND YOU SAID YOU HAD A DOG, AND YOU DON'T.

AND I BET YOUR FATHER'S NOT COMING FOR YOU, EITHER!

YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST A RUNAWAY GIRL

THAT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FATHER!

[ DOOR OPENS, SLAMS ]

[ DOGS WHIMPERING ]COME ON, MELVIN.

YEAH, LET'S GET HER AROUND THIS WAY.

GO ON. [ GRUNTS ]

GET IN THERE.

YOU'RE NEXT.

COME ON.

[ GROANS ]

THIS DOG STINKS.

ALL RIGHT, YOU READY?[ GRUNTS ]

COME ON.

[ GRUNTS ] HELP ME, MELVIN, WOULD YA?

GET IN THERE, YA MUTT.

[ DOGS BARKING ]

ALL RIGHT.

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

[ SHOUTING, CHEERING ]

[ DOGS SNARLING, BARKING ]

[ DOG WHIMPERS ]

I'LL TAKE HIM! I'LL TAKE HIM!

...FOOD ON THE TABLE FOR MY KIDS!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

HEY! GIVE ME THAT DOG.

Man: GET OUT OF HERE! WHAT?

GIVE ME THAT DOG!

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE GIRL'S GOT THE DOG!

DON'T WORRY! I'LL GET HER!

STOP IT!

GET BACK HERE!

HEY, STOP!

HEY, HEY, HEY!

[ ENGINE STALLS ]

[ ENGINE SPUTTERS ]

AAH!

I HATE THAT GIRL!

GOOD MORNING, PUPPIES.

GOOD MORNING. HI, SWEETHEART.

GOOD MORNING.HI, SWEETHEART.

HOW ARE WE?

YES, DID WE HAVE A GOOD NIGHT? DID WE HAVE A GOOD NIGHT?

HOW ARE MY PUPPIES? HOW ARE MY PUP--

Mike! Mike!

Mike! Shh.

YehTeh! [ LAUGHS ]

HEY, YehTeh!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

HEY, YehTeh!

HI, THERE.

PUT YOU THROUGH A LOT, HUH? [ LAUGHS ]

Cullimore: YOU'RE SURE THE MAN GETTING THE MONEY WAS MR. DOYLE?

THE DOGCATCHER. IT WAS.

EMMA, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY, BUT --

IT'S -- IT'S JUST IT'S VERY IMPORTANT

THAT YOU TELL US THE TRUTH, EMMA.

ALL OF IT.

I...PREVARICATED ABOUT SOME STUFF.

IT'S ONE OF OUR VOCABULARY WORDS.

IT MEANS "TELLING LIES."

I'VE NEVER HAD A DOG.

MIKEY WAS RIGHT.

MY DAD DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A JOB.

MY MOM DIED THREE YEARS AGO.

MY DAD SAID HE WAS COMING TO GET ME BY CHRISTMAS,

BUT AUNT DELORES SAID THAT HE NEVER KEEPS A PROMISE.

I-I LIED ABOUT A LOT OF STUFF, I GUESS.

I KNOW IT WAS WRONG.

I GUESS I JUST DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY TO THINK THAT I WAS...

BUT WHAT I SAID ABOUT LAST NIGHT WAS THE TRUTH.

I PROMISE.

[ "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS" PLAYS ]

COME ON, TRY IT.

♪ AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE ♪

♪ AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE ♪

SEE? THAT WAS GOOD. YOU CAN TOO SING.

[ SIGHS ] HOW COME YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT YOUR MOM DIED?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT JUST SEEMS LIKE IF I DON'T SAY IT, THEN IT WON'T BE TRUE.

MY DAD DIED WHEN I WAS TWO.

THAT'S HIM. HE WAS A HERO.

YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?

NO. THAT'S SAD.

MOM SAYS IF YOU HAVE FAITH AND YOU THINK GOOD THOUGHTS,

GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN.

EVEN MIRACLES.

YOUR MOM SAYS A LOT OF STUFF.

GETTING YehTeh BACK WAS A MIRACLE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMETHING'S A MIRACLE

OR JUST SOMETHING THAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED ANYWAY?

YOU JUST KNOW.

I BET YOU STILL BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS.

HEY, LOOK, MY MOM SAYS IF YOU STOP BELIEVING

HE STOPS COMING, OKAY?

SO DID YOU MAKE A CHRISTMAS WISH, EMMA?

SHE WANTS HER DAD TO COME.

I WISH WE COULD SAVE THE DOGS.

YOU JUST HAVEN'T LIVED HERE LONG ENOUGH

TO UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS.

OKAY, BUT I PROMISED TO HELP SO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

WELL, THE PROBLEM IS WHATEVER YOU DO

MIGHT ONLY MAKE IT MORE DANGEROUS FOR THE DOGS.

WELL, THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE DOGS.

FOR ME, IT IS ONLY ABOUT THE DOGS.

LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE SHERIFF?

[ LAUGHS ] MIGHT AS WELL GO SEE THE MAYOR.

OKAY, LET'S GO SEE THE MAYOR. [ LAUGHS ]

COME ON, THE BEST DEFENSE IS A GOOD OFFENSE.

THEY'RE BROTHERS.

LOOK, DID WE COME THROUGH ON THE HAIL MARY OR NOT?

YOU SCORED THE HAIL MARY.

THE MAYOR?

ON TWO! COME ON!

OH!

SO ONCE I WAS INSIDE, I GRABBED THE DOG AND RAN OUT.

AND YOU DID ALL THAT TO SAVE A DOG?

SHE WAS MIKEY'S DOG.

AND I PROMISED HIM.

HMM.

TELL THE MAYOR ABOUT THE MAN YOU SAW, ABOUT THE MONEY.

NOBEL. FOLKS. SORRY I'M LATE.

NORMAN.

WELL, WHAT WAS IT YOU SAW, YOUNG LADY?

IT WAS...PRETTY DARK.

TOO DARK TO SEE THEIR FACES?

IT WAS NIGHT.

SO YOU REALLY COULDN'T SEE THE MEN AT ALL.

THE LANTERNS MADE IT PRETTY BRIGHT.

I COULD SEE THEIR FACES JUST FINE.

MR. DOYLE, THE DOGCATCHER...

WAS THE MAN HE GAVE THE MONEY TO.

YOU SAY IT WAS NORMAN?

YES, SIR.

WELL, I CAN ASSURE YOU, YOUNG LADY,

THAT NONE OF THE SCALAWAGS YOU SAY YOU SAW

WERE CIVIL SERVANTS OF THIS TOWN.

AND IT CERTAINLY WASN'T MY BROTHER.

SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH, YOUR HONOR.

WELL, LET US BE HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER NOW.

WE ARE AT GREAT ODDS OVER THE ISSUE OF DOGS.

IT WILL SURPRISE YOU, MY DEAR MRS. STEVENS,

BUT, PERSONALLY, I AM NOT AGAINST DOGS.

I AM ONLY FORTHE LAW.

I BECAME MAYOR ON A PROMISE TO RESTORE THE LAW BANNING DOGS --

A LAW THAT HAS MADE DOVERVILLE FAMOUS.

THE PRAGMATICS OF POLITICS, PERHAPS.

BUT UNLESS AND UNTIL THE TOWN COUNCIL ITSELF

RISES UP AND CHANGES THE LAW,

I AM BOUND BY DUTY TO DO MY DUTY.

AND SO IS MY BROTHER NORMAN.

♪ EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKING

♪ SEVEN SWANS A-SWIMMING, SIX GEESE A-LAYING ♪

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RINGS

♪ FOUR CALLING BIRDS, THREE FRENCH HENS ♪

♪ TWO TURTLE DOVES

♪ AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE ♪

[ LAUGHS ]

[Laughing] YES! THAT'S GREAT!

OKAY, OKAY. NOW THIS IS THE PART WHERE SANTA CLAUS ENTERS.

WHERE'S MIKEY?

[ "SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN" PLAYS ]

[ CHUCKLES ] WOW.

DID YOU DO THIS?

I KNOW HOW WE CAN SAVE THE DOGS.

[ LAUGHS ] IN SIX DAYS?

IT'S THE ONLY WAY WE CAN SAVE THE DOGS.

AND WE'LL BE REALLY, REALLY CAREFUL

SO WE WON'T WRECK ANYTHING.

RIGHT? PROMISE.

YEAH, AND I EXPLAINED TO THEM, OF COURSE,

THAT WE NEED YOUR BLESSING --

YOU ARE ASKING ME

TO BLESS AN OUTRAGEOUS IDEA

THAT VIOLATES THE FUNDAMENTAL DECRETUMS OF THIS SCHOOL?

I HAVE ALREADY LOOKED THE OTHER WAY...

IN MY AWFUL SHAME.

WE REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.

WE NEEDN'T TAKE MORE TIME ON THIS.

YOU KNOW, THE CHILDREN WERE JUST REALLY EXCITED.

YOU KNOW, THE DOG THING WAS...

IT'S CHRISTMAS.

YOU'VE NEVER HAD A DOG, HAVE YOU?

[ "ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH" PLAYS ]

ARE YOU SURE THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL "CHIHUAHUA"?

MIKEY.

IS IT WORKING?

WE STILL DON'T HAVE SEVEN OF ANYTHING.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE DOING IT -- TO STOP THEM.

NOT WITH MY DOGS.

I'D LIKE TO PLACE A CALL TO LUCY STARK AT LIKEMAGAZINE.

HEY, UM, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

THE BEST DEFENSE IS A GOOD OFFENSE.

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU SAID, MISTER?

TO THE SPIRIT OF THE TOWN, TO THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY FRIENDS, TO ONE AND ALL.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MAYOR, I WOULD BE PLEASED IF YOU WOULD OPEN MY GIFT TONIGHT.

YEAH, BEFORE CHRISTMAS? UH...

OPEN IT. DO IT FOR US.

Man: GO AHEAD, MAYOR.

WELL, ALL RIGHT. HEH.

OH.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

UH...

"HIS HONOR THE MAYOR

"AND THE MEMBERS OF THE TOWN COUNCIL

"ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO ATTEND A HOLIDAY TRIBUTE TO THE TOWN.

SCHOOL ASSEMBLY HALL. 6:00 P.M. ON CHRISTMAS EVE."

TO THE SPIRIT OF THE TOWN AND THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON.

THE MAYOR AND THE TOWN COUNCIL CORDIALLY ACCEPT.

HE'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU CHRISTMAS MORNING...

IF YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD BOY.

UH, YES. YES, INDEED.

OH!

[ SIGHS ]

IT'S 6:30 IN THE MORNING.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF HEAVEN ARE YOU --

I'M SORRY IT'S SO EARLY, BUT...

FORGET IT. I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

OKAY?

WHERE'S YOUR PUP? IS HE ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, HE'S FINE.

I JUST NEEDED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

I'VE BEEN THINKING THAT IF YOU, UM --

IF YOU WANTED TO COME BACK --

YOU KNOW, UH, HOME,

HERE WITH ME...

...I'LL BE HAPPY TO HAVE YOUR DOG.

AND, UM, WELL... TO HECK WITH THE DOGCATCHER.

OKAY?

OH.

UH...

UM...

I NEED A FAVOR.

ANYTHING YOU WANT, HONEY.

CAN YOU DO DOGS?

UH, DOGS?

IS EVERYONE OKAY IN HERE?

IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.

[ "JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS ]

ALL RIGHT, GET ON THE BUS. I'LL GET THE PUPPY.

YOU GET THE PUPPY, BUT, UH, SHE'S RIDING WITH ME.

WE'LL JUST BE A MINUTE, OKAY?

COME ON, HONEY.

GOODBYE!

HOW WE DOING THERE, JAKE?

[ LAUGHS ] OH!

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.

LOOKING GOOD. COME ON. WE GOT TO GET IN THERE.

CAN'T KEEP THE AUDIENCE WAITING.

THAT'S RIGHT. STRAIGHT THROUGH.

JUST FOLLOW THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU.

MIKEY, I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

MOM, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STARTED ALREADY.

IT'S WORTH ONE MORE MINUTE. COME ON.

OKAY, UH, GET 'EM READY, KIDS.

OKAY.

WELL, IT WOULD SEEM OUR TRIBUTE TO TRADITION

HAS A BECOME A TRIAL OF OUR PATIENCE.

I THINK WE'VE DONE OUR CIVIC DUTY.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

SHE HAS SEVEN PUPPIES.

WHEN A MIRACLE HAPPENS, YOU JUST KNOW.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MAYOR NOBEL DOYLE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. HI.

I'M LUCY STARK WITH LIKEMAGAZINE.

LIKEMAGAZINE? VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

YES, WE'RE DOING A FOLLOW-UP ON THE ORPHAN DOGS STORY.

YOU'RE STILL THE MAYOR, IS THAT CORRECT?

DULY ELECTED BY A SIGNIFICANT MAJORITY.

CAN WE GET A PICTURE?

OF COURSE.

NOW, WAS IT YOUR IDEA, MAYOR DOYLE,

TO HAVE THE CHILDREN CELEBRATE YOUR MOST UNIQUE COMMUNITY

WITH A SPECIAL TRIBUTE?

WELL, I ACTUALLY -- I FELT THAT, AS NEWLY ELECTED MAYOR --

IT'S SUCH A FABULOUS IDEA. ANOTHER PICTURE.

WE'RE GOING TO USE THE FOLLOW-UP AS OUR COVER STORY AS WELL.

YES, WELL, IT WAS PRETTY MUCH MY IDEA.

NOW, IF YOU'D LIKE TO WATCH THE SHOW,

IT SHOULD START AT ANY MINUTE.

[ "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS" PLAYS ]

Hey!

YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

YOU AREBEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU, AUNT DELORES.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I-I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU OVER BY THE CHRISTMAS TREE WINDOW.

NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHERE THE SONG

"THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS" CAME FROM.

SOME BELIEVE IT IS OVER 400 YEARS OLD.

BUT OUR PROGRAM TONIGHT IS NOT ABOUT

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS.

IT IS ABOUT THE BEST GIFT

THAT ANYONE WHO TRULY LOVES CAN GIVE --

THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP.

FRIENDSHIP IS WHAT MAKES A TOWN LIKE OURS SO WONDERFUL.

BUT YOU SEE, SOME OF OUR BEST FRIENDS ARE NOT WELCOMED HERE.

SO WE THOUGHT WE'D GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW THEM

AND SEE WHY WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

AND MAYBE YOU'LL EVEN LEARN TO LOVE THEM TOO.

[ "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS" PLAYS ]

♪ ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

GOOD BOY, MAX.

ARE YOU EVER GONNA COME OUT THE DOGHOUSE?

GOOD BOY.

♪ A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE ♪

♪ ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

♪ THREE COCKER SPANIELS

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE

♪ ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

♪ FOUR BASSET HOUNDS

ONE...TWO...

THREE...FOUR...

♪ FOUR BASSET HOUNDS

♪ THREE COCKER SPANIELS

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE ♪

♪ ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

♪ FIVE GOLDEN

♪ FIVE GOLDEN, FIVE GOLDEN

♪ FIVE GOLDEN

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS

♪ FOUR BASSET HOUNDS

♪ THREE COCKER SPANIELS

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE

♪ ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

♪ SIX BOXERS BOXING

AH, YOUSE MUTTS.

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS

♪ FOUR BASSET HOUNDS

♪ THREE COCKER SPANIELS

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE ♪

♪ ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

♪ SEVEN HUSKIES HOWLING

HEY, YOU DOGS, COME ON!

SHOO, SHOO, SHOO! GO ON! GO ON!

GO ON! SHOO, SHOO, SHOO!

[ DOGS BARKING ]

♪ SIX BOXERS BOXING

♪ FIVE...

GET OUT OF THERE! COME ON, COME ON.

COME ON. YEAH. YEAH!

[ LAUGHS ]

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE ♪

♪ ON THE EIGHTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

♪ EIGHT SHEEPDOGS SNORING

WELL, ACTUALLY, THEY'RE ALL ASLEEP.

BUT THEY'RE NOT SNORING, THEY'RE JUST SLEEPING.

♪ SEVEN HUSKIES HOWLING

♪ SIX BOXERS BOXING

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS

♪ FOUR BASSET HOUNDS

♪ THREE COCKER SPANIELS

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE ♪

♪ ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

♪ NINE CHIHUAHUAS CHOMPING

♪ EIGHT SHEEPDOGS SNORING

♪ SEVEN HUSKIES HOWLING

♪ SIX BOXERS BOXING

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS

♪ FOUR BASSET HOUNDS

♪ THREE COCKER SPANIELS

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE

[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

♪ ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

♪ TEN DALMATIANS DANCING

♪ NINE CHIHUAHUAS CHOMPING

♪ EIGHT SHEEPDOGS SNORING

♪ SEVEN HUSKIES HOWLING

ALL THE DOGS FOR THE TWELFTH DAY RAN AWAY.

SHH!

DON'T YOU EVER GET TIRED OF BEING A STOOGE

FOR DENNY'S STUPID JOKES?

UH...SOMEBODY LET THEM ALL OUT, BUT IT WASN'T US. HONEST.

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE ♪

♪ ON THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

♪ ELEVEN LABS A-LAUGHING

[ DOGS YELPING ]

[ "DECK THE HALLS" PLAYS ]

♪ FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA ♪

♪ TEN DALMATIANS DANCING

♪ NINE CHIHUAHUAS CHOMPING

♪ EIGHT SHEEPDOGS SNORING

OH, LOOKING FOR THE DOGGIES.

♪ FIVE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS

♪ FOUR BASSET HOUNDS

♪ THREE COCKER SPANIELS

♪ TWO SAINT BERNARDS

♪ AND A POODLE IN A DOGHOUSE

♪ ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

♪ ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME ♪

♪ ABSOLUTELY NO DOGGIES

[ LAUGHS ]

♪ ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM?

WELL, I JUST LET THEM OUT FOR A LITTLE WALK.

[ LAUGHS ]

OW! OW. MMH!

♪ ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

A CAT!

[ MEOWS ]

All: A CAT?!

[ APPLAUSE ]

TOUCHDOWN.

SURE DIDN'T THINK THEY'D BRING OUT A CAT.

BRATS!

GIVE ME MY CAT!

GIVE ME MY CAT! ALL OF YOU!

BAD PEOPLE! YOU'RE BAD CHILDREN!

DID THEY HURT...YOU?

[ DOGS GROWLING ]

NICE DOGGIES.

[ DOGS SNARLING, BARKING ]

[ CAT SCREECHES ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

THERE'S MONEY ON THE FLOOR. THE GIRL WAS RIGHT!

YOU CAME.

OF COURSE I CAME. YOU WERE WONDERFUL.

BUT AUNT DELORES SAID...

I MEAN, I THOUGHT...

YOU REALLY CAME.

CROSS MY HEART.

NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN A PROMISE, EM.

I LOVE YOU, DAD.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, EMMA.

DOGFIGHTS?

NORMAN, NORMAN.

AND THAT CAT GOES BACK TO SANITATION WITH YOU!

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AS MAYOR OF DOVERVILLE,

IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO ANNOUNCE TO YOU TODAY...

EMMA, IT'D BE BETTER IF YOU DID THIS.

THE CITY OF DOVERVILLE AND STEVENS FAMILY DOG ORPHANAGE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU, MRS. STEVENS.

WE THANK YOU, CHILDREN!

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

IT'S MY PLEASURE.

DOES HE HAVE A NAME?

HIS NAME'S MIRACLE.

[ MID-TEMPO RHYTHM & BLUES PLAYS ]

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, OOH, AHH

♪ LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW ON THE GROUND ♪

♪ WHEN THE WIND IS BLOWING ALL AROUND ♪

♪ THEN YOU HEAR, YOU CAN HEAR, YOU WILL HEAR VOICES LOW ♪

♪ SINGING SOFTLY THROUGH THE FALLING SNOW ♪

♪ LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNO-O-O-O-O-W ♪

♪ LET ITS MAGIC WHISPER THROUGH THE TREES ♪

♪ LET IT SNO-O-O-O-O-W

♪ LET IT FALL DOWN ON YOU AND ME ♪

♪ LET US ALL GIVE THANKS FOR THE FRIENDS WE HAVE HERE ♪

♪ LET US CELEBRATE THE COMING YEAR ♪

♪ COME AND GATHER AROUND THIS CHRISTMAS TREE ♪

♪ AND JOYFUL, JOYFUL WE WILL BE ♪

♪ LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNO-O-O-O-O-O-W ♪

♪ NOW WISH UPON A FALLING DREAM ♪

♪ LET IT SNO-O-O-O-O-W

♪ LET IT FALL DOWN ON YOU AND ME ♪

♪ LET IT SNO-O-O-O-O-W

♪ LET ITS MAGIC WHISPER THROUGH THE TREES ♪

♪ LET IT SNO-O-O-O-O-O-W

♪ LET IT FALL DOWN ON YOU AND ME ♪

♪ LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT ♪

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA-DA, DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA-DA, DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA DA, DA DA

♪ DA-DA, DA DA

♪ DA-DA, DA DA, AHH