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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,960 NARRATOR: Previously... And the Oscar goes to... (APPLAUDS) 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,920 ..feedback week exposed even more cracks... 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,240 "Your extreme sense of masculine pride and fragile ego 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,440 "are difficult to deal with..." 5 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,440 ..as Jacqui did not hold back in her honesty letter. 6 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:19,200 "I'm concerned that you financially contribute less than I will..." 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,880 I will never be a stay-at-home dad. 8 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,760 It's insulting that I would even consider that. 9 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,360 Paul's brutal confession... 10 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,440 ..left Carina feeling blindsided. 11 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,240 You threw me under the bus with Awhina's sister. 12 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,520 I don't hate the girl. 13 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,120 JOHN: Oh! ALESSANDRA: The girl! 14 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,760 MEL AND ALESSANDRA: "I don't hate the girl." 15 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,120 NARRATOR: But it was Dave's coldness at the dinner party... 16 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,720 I feel like our entire relationship is a lie. 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,600 ..that shocked the room... 18 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,160 MEL: This is not the Dave we know. JOHN: No. 19 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,520 AWHINA: Who is that man? That's not the Dave I've met. 20 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,680 NARRATOR: ..and left Jamie heartbroken. 21 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,640 JAMIE: He's hurt me so much! 22 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,120 Who have I been laying next to this whole experiment, Dave? 23 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,120 Tonight... 24 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,120 I feel inadequate sometimes. I feel like I don't measure up. 25 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,920 ..vulnerabilities laid bare. 26 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,760 It's because maybe he's not attracted to me like I am to him. 27 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:28,000 It's the second-last commitment ceremony of the experiment. 28 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,160 I came here to find my forever person 29 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,160 and I wholeheartedly hope that it's Jeff. 30 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,680 ALESSANDRA: I love that. MEL: Yeah. 31 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,760 JOHN: Somebody over there is lying. 32 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,560 NARRATOR: The experts apply the pressure... 33 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,840 JOHN: You're lacking emotional intelligence. 34 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,840 There seems to be a sensitivity chip missing. 35 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,560 NARRATOR: ..as Paul faces the consequences 36 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,840 of his honesty letter. 37 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,480 I felt like I can't fully trust him right now. 38 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,840 Are you now questioning whether or not you and Paul 39 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,160 are truly compatible as a couple? 40 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,880 (EXHALES) I didn't expect that. 41 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,040 (GROANS) 42 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,120 And then... 43 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:06,920 JOHN: We spent five couch sessions with you 44 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,600 thinking everything is going well. 45 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,720 NARRATOR: ..Dave's moment of truth. 46 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,880 Do you have romantic feelings for Jamie, Dave? 47 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,440 Um... 48 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,840 (BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS) 49 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,160 NARRATOR: The countdown is on 50 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,120 to the second-last commitment ceremony of the experiment. 51 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,960 But last night's explosive dinner party 52 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:46,560 has left lingering effects on most of our couples, except Rhi and Jeff. 53 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,120 Is this the most comfortable that you've ever been? 54 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,320 Oh, yeah, this is great. 55 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,560 This might be the new position where we chat on the couch. 56 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,200 What me and Rhi have is pretty special 57 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,680 and that's what relationships should be like. 58 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,560 (LAUGHS) 59 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,920 Sometimes I look around and other couples are fighting 60 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,080 and it's hard to see and I'm just like, 61 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,320 "Oh, I just wish you guys could be on the same page as us." 62 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,000 Last night's dinner party revealed 63 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:20,120 feedback week has exposed cracks in several relationships. 64 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,120 I think the biggest moment from last night was definitely Dave and Jamie. 65 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,840 No-one saw that coming. 66 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,720 It's clear as day Dave doesn't want to sleep with her, in my eyes 67 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,960 and more importantly, does he even like her? 68 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,920 ADRIAN: I would be more worried more about that than the sex. 69 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,920 I walked off confused. Yeah, that's what she... 70 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,120 And I can only imagine what she feels. 71 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,200 I know. 72 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,280 RYAN: It just goes to show, 73 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,880 you don't know what goes on internally 74 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,160 that was making her, like, dissatisfied... 75 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,000 JACQUI: Yeah. ..you know. 76 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,320 With Dave, like, I feel annoyed because... 77 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,840 Yeah. ..he wasn't reflecting early on... 78 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,120 and he wasn't being open and communicating with her. 79 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,400 JEFF: I'm still so not sure what's gonna happen there. 80 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,640 RHI: Yeah, I feel for Jamie, like, seeing her so upset. 81 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,120 Dave wasn't himself last night, that's for sure. 82 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,440 No, not at all. Just, yeah, super distant. 83 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,800 Yeah. 84 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,520 I just didn't realise that so many people 85 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:07,960 were in so much trouble, really. 86 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:15,320 But it's not just Jamie and Dave's relationship that's on shaky ground. 87 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,560 CARINA: I feel like feedback week had a negative impact 88 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,440 on Paul and my relationship. 89 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,200 I do feel a little bit let down by Paul. 90 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,920 I think how he wrote his letter, he didn't realise the consequences. 91 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,120 In his honestly letter, 92 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,400 Paul revealed a comment Carina had made privately 93 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,600 about Awhina's twin sister, who Paul had one dated. 94 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,320 She said, "Oh, I didn't know you would go for that kind of calibre." 95 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,280 Yeah. AWHINA: Wow. 96 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,040 "I feel like she is a bit of a snob sometimes 97 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,560 "and can come across as very judgy 98 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,400 "and I'll be honest with you, this is giving me the ick." 99 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,160 CARINA: Did you read that to Awhina? Yep. 100 00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:01,360 At the dinner party, Awhina accepted Carina's heartfelt apology. 101 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,000 It was a rude comment, it was disrespectful and I judged you 102 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:09,040 and I'm sorry if that comment just hurt you so much. 103 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,640 But tensions arose between Carina and Paul. 104 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,600 You threw me under the bus, Paul. 105 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,880 You brought up the comment about Awhina's sister. 106 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,600 No-one had to know about that but you and me. 107 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:25,720 Last night's dinner party just had no resolution between Paul and I. 108 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,840 And I'm struggling to move past it. 109 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,000 The whole, like, feeling like you got thrown under the bus 110 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,960 or say that you have your walls up and everything is... 111 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,320 Yeah, I think I'm still struggling a little bit with just that part. 112 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,560 I'm a bit surprised, like, how you can't see where I'm coming from, 113 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,480 with, like, feeling a little bit hurt 114 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,400 and right now, I've just lost the trust. 115 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,560 I would never throw my partner under the bus like that. 116 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,440 If I had thrown that comment 117 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,120 at a dinner party in front of 15 people, I would understand, 118 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,160 but it was literally only between Awhina and I. 119 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,320 Yeah, but, like, the whole task was about me giving feedback, 120 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,920 so the fact that now it's completely being turned around 121 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,000 and it's all about you and how you feel, you know... 122 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,480 This task was meant to be between Awhina and I. 123 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,960 I was meant to be honest and open with her. 124 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,160 That's what I've done. That's what I did. 125 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,760 Now it gets thrown back in my face and now all of a sudden I just... 126 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,160 Carina doesn't trust me anymore. 127 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:40,240 While feedback week exposed cracks in Carina and Paul's relationship... 128 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,240 for Eliot, 129 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:48,120 Veronica's honesty letter shattered any hopes of a relationship at all. 130 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,920 I think this has kind of been bubbling under the surface. 131 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,120 There's kind of been this sort of thin veneer 132 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,320 covering Veronica's resentment that she had towards me 133 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:03,360 and since reading out our letters, that veneer has gone 134 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,480 and it's obvious that my wife hates me. 135 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,640 Obviously she mentioned Dave a lot in her letter, which is weird 136 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,960 when you're writing a letter about the concerns about our relationship. 137 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,080 "I don't have to prompt Dave to open up. 138 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,280 "When Dave and I converse, it's effortless 139 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,240 "and the communication flows easily. 140 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,240 "Dave makes me feel connected and seen 141 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,040 "but unfortunately I don't feel the same way with you." 142 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:30,960 OK. 143 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,840 I don't know what to say. 144 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,360 Like, it sucks that you feel that way. 145 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,360 I tried to connect with your letter and I tried... 146 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,120 Do you think that that's appropriate that you're patronising me, Eliot? 147 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,320 When you do that... 148 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,600 Do you think that that's appropriate that you're patronising me? 149 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,080 So, it turns out we still can't be in the same room together. 150 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,880 You have no respect 151 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,960 and I'm not interested in pursuing anything with you. 152 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,080 You're beneath me. 153 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:56,760 And the Oscar goes to... (APPLAUDS) Veronica! 154 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:03,120 Her letter I think just took things over the top. 155 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,240 I feel like I've really pushed myself outside my comfort zone, 156 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,320 trying to make it work 157 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:14,560 but there's no real way that I could reconcile with Veronica now. 158 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:20,560 This isn't something that we can overcome as a couple. 159 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,760 NARRATOR: The commitment ceremony is just hours away, 160 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,560 where our couples will face the experts 161 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,600 and decide whether to stay in the experiment... 162 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,280 or leave their marriages. 163 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,920 But one bride is yet to decide if she'll attend at all. 164 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,640 DAVE: Hey, how are you? (JAMIE LAUGHS) 165 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,280 How you going? I'm Jamie. 166 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,640 I'm Dave, your big friendly giant soon-to-be husband. 167 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,040 I vow to be open and honest with my feelings, 168 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:07,880 I vow to make you feel seen and heard. 169 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,800 (LAUGHS) What? It's OK. You're safe. 170 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,560 Don't worry. (LAUGHS) 171 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,280 OK. You guys gotta go. (LAUGHS) 172 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,000 See you, guys. You haven't even said goodbye. 173 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,360 Pack her up, boys! (LAUGHS) 174 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,280 JAMIE: Now I'm really thinking future 175 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,640 and I felt my feelings just went... (IMITATES EXPLOSION) 176 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,240 They did. Massively. 177 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,200 It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and excited 178 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,000 thinking about the future. 179 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,760 (LAUGHS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 180 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,280 JAMIE: I genuinely believed we were in a really good place. 181 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,800 So, right now, I don't feel confident in my relationship. 182 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,760 I don't know who I've been married to. 183 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,840 At the dinner party, Jamie and the rest of the group 184 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:02,600 struggled to deal with an uncharacteristically cold Dave. 185 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,360 MEL: Gosh, Dave's so different. 186 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,840 JOHN: He's got a wall up. He's detached. 187 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,520 He's checked out. 188 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:12,640 JAMIE: Who have I been laying next to this whole experiment, Dave? 189 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,360 I'm not at the level of love that you have. 190 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,320 It's not "Tell me you love me"! It's how far in we are! 191 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,640 You have not showed up for me! (CRIES) 192 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,600 JEFF: Do you want this relationship? 193 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,520 Of course I want this to work. 194 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,680 I am sorry that I made you feel that way. I really am. 195 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,440 Like, you are so special to me. 196 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,760 I am sorry. 197 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,560 JAMIE: Yesterday was a hard day 198 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,120 and I 100% still question Dave's feelings. 199 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,680 That's why Dave needs to prove himself. 200 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,560 Like, knock on my door with flowers, Post-It notes, 201 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,360 write a poem, everything. 202 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,760 (KNOCKS) 203 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,840 Prove that what he's saying is genuine. 204 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,320 Prove that, like, yeah, I haven't just fallen in love with someone 205 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,520 who doesn't exist. 206 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:09,600 That's what I'm hoping for today. This is day one of him proving it. 207 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,960 How are you feeling? Fantastic. 208 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,200 Oh. Good. 209 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,720 Um... 210 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:23,000 Yeah, I guess I just want to say... last night, there was... 211 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,480 I don't know, you did speak to me, 212 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,840 like, probably the worst you've spoke to me 213 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,080 throughout this experiment. 214 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,800 You said some things to me that hurt me last night as well. 215 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,720 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 216 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,040 Dave, seriously, that's what you're gonna get hung up on? 217 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,520 Well, it seems like this whole... 218 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:47,240 As well as, like, the intimacy and stuff throughout, 219 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,840 you've really talked about, you know, how good it was 220 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,920 and then now it's, like... it's not at all. 221 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,400 And you know what, coming at me the way you did, 222 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,040 it took me back 'cause I just didn't that we had that... 223 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,120 I need you to just stop what you're doing right now. 224 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,720 Don't defend yourself, don't plead your case, don't save face, 225 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,480 whatever the hell it is you're doing 226 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,600 and realise how badly you've let me down and just own it. 227 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,760 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 228 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,040 I'm not feeling the way that she wants me to feel, 229 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,960 or, like, demanding for me to feel, so... 230 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,440 Just because you're jumping to demands, 231 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,960 doesn't mean I'm gonna do it. 232 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,680 You came in last night wanting to keep me... 233 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,440 Yeah... ..wanting to fight for me. 234 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,920 Fight for me, homeboy. Fight for me. 235 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,120 Well, it just seems like it's not happening. 236 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,320 Like, I'm... I'm... 237 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,840 You haven't even tried one day, Dave! 238 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,320 But this is a conversation... 239 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:40,760 You just don't understand where I'm coming from. 240 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,280 Stop with this bullshit. 241 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,600 I don't feel the way you feel, Jamie. 242 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,120 It's hard for me to express that. How many times... 243 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,360 I'm not asking you to! 244 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,520 But when you tell me last night that you're going to prove it to me 245 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,520 and then you come in and cast problems onto me, 246 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,000 like, what are we doing here? 247 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,960 Why did you give me some bullshit excuse last night 248 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,240 that you're gonna... I do care about you, Jamie. 249 00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,280 Oh, you care... I do. 250 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,640 You telling the table you care and you want to fight for us. 251 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:05,040 What was that? Just to look like a hero for a minute? 252 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,960 Stop (BLEEP) with me, 'cause my feelings are real and it's not fair. 253 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,400 OK. 254 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,080 But if this is day one of trying to prove yourself, excellent. 255 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,000 This is it? 256 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,480 I guess so. 257 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,320 Alright. Jesus Christ. 258 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,920 I knew it. I knew he was lying to me last night. I knew it. 259 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,800 Don't pull me aside and tell me you're gonna show up for me 260 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,120 if you can't even get through the first morning. 261 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,560 Up until a couple of days ago, I had a husband 262 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,600 and a positive outlook on the future 263 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,120 with a man who doesn't like me enough 264 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,960 to compliment me or initiate affection. 265 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,520 He (BLEEP) it up. He did. 266 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,320 And the fact he can even come in and even cast any problems onto me 267 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,480 is (BLEEP) laughable. 268 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,240 My bedroom. 269 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,280 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 270 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,800 He should be ashamed of himself. 271 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,040 I'm not (BLEEP) writing 'stay' tonight. 272 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,080 There is no chance. 273 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,400 He's an absolute (BLEEP) liar. 274 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,920 We are now a team of three. Understood? 275 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,040 We don't need that (BLEEP) psycho. 276 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,080 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 277 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,040 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 278 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,360 JOHN: Greetings, gents. MAN: Hello, guys. 279 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,760 MEL: Hello, guys. Hello. How you going? 280 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,120 Grab a seat. 281 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,480 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 282 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,000 Oh, greetings, ladies. 283 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,520 Come and join us. MEL: Hi, ladies. 284 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,560 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 285 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,800 (RHI LAUGHS) 286 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:39,880 Welcome, everybody, 287 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,400 to the second-last commitment ceremony of this experiment. 288 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,120 You've come off a huge week, feedback week, 289 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,320 where we created new pairings 290 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,920 so that you could get a different perspective on your relationship 291 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:58,040 from people that had watched you and got to know you. 292 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,240 And this is a very important part of the experiment 293 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,080 because it allows you to widen your perspective... 294 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,800 and certainly, it has landed for some couples. 295 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,840 Now, what became clear to us last night 296 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,200 while we were watching the dinner party 297 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:17,520 is that a number of you have not been open and honest with us 298 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,760 at previous commitment ceremonies. 299 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:29,560 So, what we ask of you tonight is open up and let us in. 300 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,600 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 301 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,240 MEL: Our first couple up on the couch is... 302 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,840 Awhina and Adrian. 303 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,880 (BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS) (APPLAUSE) 304 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,880 Hello, you two. ADRIAN: Hey. How you going? 305 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:50,720 AWHINA: Hello. 306 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,200 Well, we're more interested in how you're going. 307 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,960 Do you want to start? No, you can start. 308 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000 I'll start. We're going good. 309 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:01,880 Last week, we discussed that honesty letter and essentially... 310 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,200 Mm-hm. ..our letters were exactly the same. 311 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,040 They just looked a little bit different. 312 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,840 ..for me, that was a pivotal moment in our relationship. 313 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,120 We recognised that we stopped asking questions, 314 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,680 so now it's asking questions and meaning it 315 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,200 and we're both being curious about each other again. 316 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,960 I did like that we'd both written similar things in our letters. 317 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,680 It sounds like this letter writing 318 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,920 helped you both arrive at the same point, 319 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,880 this acknowledgement that there's been a bit of a disconnection. 320 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,160 Yeah. 321 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,880 It wasn't just the task that we had. 322 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,400 After our time apart, I did realise that, you know, 323 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:49,520 I do care for Awhina and, yeah, I feel like we're progressing. 324 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,320 So, how do you now keep the walls down? 325 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,560 Well, we're going to couples' massage tomorrow. 326 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,720 That'll be a fun time. Great. (LAUGHS) 327 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,440 Go away, Adrian, you dirty hog. 328 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,600 Well, sounds like you've reached a bit of a turning point. 329 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,800 Yeah, I think the most important thing is it feels easy again. 330 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,680 It feels like we're actually enjoying each other's company. 331 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,080 I think we're gonna go to a decision. 332 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,120 It's an easy one. 333 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,160 Stay. Brilliant. 334 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,520 (APPLAUSE) 335 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,960 And Awhina? 336 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600 Yeah, I think everyone knows it was an easy one this week. 337 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,320 MAN: Well done. WOMAN: Yay! 338 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:26,400 (APPLAUSE) 339 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,440 MEL: Well done, guys. ADRIAN: Thank you. 340 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,920 We are so delighted that you've reached this point. 341 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,120 Now, stay curious, ask those questions... 342 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,080 and allow each other to keep getting closer. 343 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,280 100%. Yeah, and get sweaty tomorrow. 344 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,320 Do it. (LAUGHTER) 345 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,040 (APPLAUSE) Thank you. 346 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,640 BETH: Good job, guys. 347 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,760 (LAUGHTER) 348 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,760 Our next couple up on the couch... 349 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,320 (TENSE MUSIC) 350 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,120 Veronica and Eliot. 351 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,160 (APPLAUSE) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 352 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,640 Hello. ELIOT: How we doing? 353 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,880 VERONICA: Hello. ALESSANDRA: Hi. 354 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,000 Well, where to start with you two? 355 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,520 (TENSE MUSIC) 356 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,280 Eliot, why don't we start with you? 357 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:24,040 We just seem to have this pattern with how we communicate, 358 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,440 where we don't see eye to eye at all. 359 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,440 It's pretty combative 360 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,960 and it just follows the same trajectory, no matter what, 361 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000 where we disagree. 362 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,760 It seems to escalate and then she leaves 363 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,600 and then that's where it's left. 364 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,760 Hmm. 365 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,560 Veronica, how would you describe the way you guys communicate? 366 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,960 I feel like when I... 367 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:56,200 When we talk, he sort of will take jabs at me, he's kind of baiting me. 368 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,000 He'll make comments to me like, 369 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,840 "Oh, you think you're pretty smart, don't you?" 370 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:07,440 I'm just shut down almost immediately. 371 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:15,040 You know, I'll say, "You said that the thing was red, but it's blue," 372 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,280 like, for example 373 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,960 and then, instead of talking about the fact that the thing is blue, 374 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:24,880 we go on this whole tangent about how my emotions are out of control 375 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,120 and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and we talk about literally nothing 376 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,680 and I'm, like, by the end of it, I've literally lost my mind. 377 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:37,560 I'm, like, "I don't (BLEEP) know what's going on here!" Like... 378 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,880 I'm, like, "Goodbye. I'm leaving the room." 379 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,800 And I've just got to go. 380 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,080 Like, I've gotta go 381 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,040 because no matter how many times I say "How do we resolve it, 382 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:53,920 "what do you need from me, what can I do," it doesn't end well for me. 383 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,120 And I feel completely blindsided 384 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,720 by this, like, whole amazing, beautiful persona 385 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,440 you're putting on with the whole group. 386 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,560 I'm, like, "Look at this man. Who is this?" 387 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:12,200 Eliot, as I'm watching you listen... ELIOT: Mmm. 388 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,560 ..to Veronica's story here, you're pulling a lot of faces. 389 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,200 Story's a good way to put it. 390 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,320 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 391 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,280 Do you believe that you have been baiting her, 392 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,680 have been insulting her? 393 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,280 There's just so many things just now that she said 394 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,040 that are just blatant lies. 395 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,760 Like, I've categorically... (SIGHS) Oh, god. 396 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,080 ..never said to you "You think you're pretty smart." 397 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,160 (SCOFFS) Like, for you to say that... 398 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,880 Like, this is what I'm talking about. It's on camera. 399 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,440 Yeah, I know. It's on camera. 400 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,280 That's why I'm confident to say that I didn't say it. 401 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,120 (LAUGHS) Oh, my god! This is so wild! 402 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,200 (LAUGHS) 403 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,320 For you just say that, "Oh, you think you're pretty smart," 404 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,400 to me is wild. 405 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,880 Like, I know exactly what I say. 406 00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:01,200 So, for you to say that I bait you, it's just like... 407 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,240 You're clearly the one that's doing the baiting. 408 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,480 What? 409 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,320 Why would I lie about that? 410 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,080 There's a lot of things that make me ask that question. 411 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:17,080 Is it surprising to you that when we talk in public 412 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,520 that people do tend to see my side of things? 413 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,160 I'm not asking for anyone else's opinion on our relationship... 414 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,280 Well, sometimes it's worth it if we're disagreeing on something 415 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,880 to get some sort of objective truth, 416 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,760 because you say one thing, I say another. 417 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,920 People see the whole story. 418 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,160 Well, what do people see? 419 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,440 You were this cool chick 420 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,080 and everyone I think can validate that as well. 421 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,640 But then you come here, you sit at the dinner party, 422 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,320 you sit in that chair and you're, like, a totally different person. 423 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,040 And you say things and you're, like... 424 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,360 "What are you saying?" 425 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,240 It's not making sense to us and I'm sure it's not making sense to Eliot. 426 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,760 So it's like we actually don't know you. 427 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,920 This is why no-one can believe a word you're saying. 428 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,240 JOHN: Rhi, you were with Eliot this week. 429 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,880 What was your experience like with him? 430 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,120 RHI: Yeah, look, Eliot and I, 431 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,280 well, we actually hadn't said more than "Hi, how are you," I think, 432 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,960 so I felt like I was getting to know Eliot from scratch. 433 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,440 In saying that, 434 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,320 Veronica and I have been friends throughout this entire experiment, 435 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,600 so obviously I know Veronica's views on everything. 436 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:39,200 But, yeah, look, I had a great time with Eliot. 437 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,080 He bought me fruit because he knows I'm into health and fitness, 438 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:49,280 he taught me a card game which I was very bad at for quite some time 439 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,560 and finally got good at it. 440 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,800 She beat me in the end. 441 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,520 I did, the third round. (LAUGHS) 442 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,880 We listened to music, we got to know each other. 443 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,800 It was an easy three days. And I enjoyed them. 444 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,600 VERONICA: Sounds good, those three days. 445 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,000 He's never taught me any card games. (LAUGHS) 446 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,560 I've offered to play cards with you multiple times. 447 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,880 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 448 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,120 Like, you know that I'm into games and stuff. 449 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,720 You have never asked me if I want to play card games. 450 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,360 (AWHINA SIGHS) 451 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,440 OK. That's weird that I've suddenly started liking card games... 452 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,760 when Rhi came around. 453 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,520 I don't... We've never had this conversation 454 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,040 about you liking card games. 455 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,920 The whole retreat, I was playing chess and... 456 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,200 Connect Four. 457 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,800 ..Connect Four, playing with everybody. 458 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,400 ADRIAN: That's why it's hard to believe you, V. 459 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,960 Why wouldn't you offer to play with me in the house? 460 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,680 Well, I have. I'm saying that I have. 461 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,080 You've not done that in the house! 462 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,360 TEEJAY: Jeez. 463 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:56,280 This is what... Like, it just takes me completely by surprise. 464 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,680 AWHINA: Have you wanted to play with him? 465 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,920 ADRIAN: Yeah, have you given him the chance? 466 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,320 Have you been there long enough? 467 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,360 Oh, where's the truth? 468 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,600 JOHN: I've just spent the last several minutes 469 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,240 hearing all sorts of back-and-forth. 470 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:19,040 Frankly, I've got no idea what the hell is going on. 471 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,520 But what I do know 472 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,880 is that somebody over there 473 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,480 is lying. 474 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,920 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 475 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,600 JOHN: What I do know 476 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,080 is that somebody over there 477 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,560 is lying. 478 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,280 Someone is not telling the truth. 479 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,400 It's like the two of you are living in different realities... 480 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,560 ELIOT: Mmm. 481 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,520 ..because one person says it's black and the other one says it's white. 482 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,760 Yeah. 483 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,760 And I'm sure the group finds this the same as well. 484 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,520 That is essentially the only consistent thing 485 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,600 about the two of you, that you disagree a lot. 486 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,800 What I've noticed with you two is that, particularly Veronica, 487 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,280 when you're addressing Eliot, 488 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:37,760 there seems to be a disdain in your voice, like the respect is gone. 489 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:45,680 In life, I just say it how it is and I'm blunt. 490 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,680 I just gotta say, like, ever since that first dinner party, 491 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,440 it's felt like she hates my guts... 492 00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,080 with little moments where... of kindness in between. 493 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,760 Hates your guts? Hates my guts. 494 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,440 That's a very strong thing to say. Yeah. 495 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:07,880 Is it the tone or... 496 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,960 The tone, the content of what she says. 497 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,240 Everything aligns perfectly 498 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,640 to be something that someone that wouldn't like me would say. 499 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,360 I mean, I've got to ask you, Veronica, do you hate his guts? 500 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,840 No. 501 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,160 No-one else talks to me like that. 502 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,880 People that literally screamed at me across the table 503 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,640 at the first dinner party, I'm, like, mates with. 504 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,240 I can extend the longest olive branch and it's not enough. 505 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,920 It's impossible to try to reconcile with you. 506 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,880 It's... It's exhausting. 507 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,520 Um, I don't hate you... 508 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,680 despite what you might think. 509 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,680 And I really did try, 510 00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,120 so I'm sorry that you feel that way. 511 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,720 Um... Yeah, that... 512 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,080 That felt like you did hate me, with the way you said that. 513 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:09,760 (SIGHS) 514 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,320 Yeah. 515 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,960 Alright, let's go to the decision. Stay or leave? 516 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:19,240 And we're gonna go with you first, Eliot. 517 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,880 We tried to make it work and I feel like it really didn't, 518 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,880 so I've written leave. 519 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,480 But I feel like I can leave 520 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,920 knowing that I really did give it my best shot. 521 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,440 Veronica, for you? 522 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,200 I can't believe that it's taken this point for us 523 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,840 to come up with something that we actually agree on. 524 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,600 Mmm. (LAUGHS) 525 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,680 Yeah, look, we're very different people 526 00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:00,280 and I don't think that there was really hope for this 527 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,680 eventuating into anything more, so, yeah, I've written leave. 528 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,720 (SOLEMN MUSIC) 529 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,320 Well, when two people say leave, 530 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,840 obviously that means it's pretty much done and dusted. 531 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:20,400 We've loved having you in this experiment. It was different. 532 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,800 And, look, one thing that I wanted to say to you, Eliot, 533 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,200 was that, you know, when we first met, 534 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,520 it didn't work out with Lauren and... Mmm. 535 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,320 ..you and I had a sit-down... Yeah. 536 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,280 It was pretty tense, pretty combative... 537 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,040 It was not too bad. ..but it needed to happen. 538 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,800 Yeah, yeah. 539 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:44,480 And when we invited you back, we had our concerns. 540 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:49,160 Is this a guy that could learn? Could he pivot? 541 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,640 Could he break patterns? We weren't sure. 542 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:58,280 But I want to commend you for coming in a second time, 543 00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,680 facing the music, 544 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,440 because they were not in your corner. 545 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,520 Now, the fact that you didn't work out with Veronica, 546 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,200 that's relationships. 547 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,480 But what we wanted to see was a different Eliot 548 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:19,960 and we are thrilled at the progress and the self-development. 549 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,280 Thank you. Those are really kind words. 550 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,240 Just finally, what do you take away from this experiment? 551 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,560 You can never judge a book by its cover. 552 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:37,320 Like, it takes time to really see all sides of a person 553 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,240 and so you can't have too many preferences. 554 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,040 My goodness. I never thought I'd ever hear you say that, Eliot. 555 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,680 (LAUGHS) That is a breakthrough. 556 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,080 It is. Yep. 557 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,520 And for you too, 558 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,440 you've got a chance to do it differently in the future, 559 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,880 so good luck with that. 560 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,560 Thank you. Thank you. 561 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,000 (APPLAUSE) You can go back to the group. 562 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,160 Alright, our next couple up on the couch... 563 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,400 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 564 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,360 ..Jacqui and Ryan. 565 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,960 RYAN: Hey. (APPLAUSE) 566 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,960 Here they come. ALESSANDRA: Hello, guys. 567 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,240 MEL: Hello. How are we? 568 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,520 Yeah, good. Sit down. JACQUI: Thank you. 569 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,080 Oooh. 570 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,680 Hi. 571 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,560 Well, I think we're gonna get straight into this. 572 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:30,080 Feedback week, Ryan, how did it land for you 573 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,960 and did it change your view of the relationship 574 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,400 or did you learn anything new? 575 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:42,600 The feedback letter that Jacqui wrote for me, 576 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,680 there's definitely aspects of that letter that I need to take on board 577 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,920 and I'm willing to do so. 578 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,080 So, on the other side of that, 579 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,520 it was a bit of a character assassination. 580 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,480 I actually felt kind of on trial for being myself. 581 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,840 I did feel quite attacked by her. 582 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,000 She brought up a lot of things like masculinity, 583 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,960 about ego, about gender roles. 584 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,840 Sometimes I feel like we're in a bit of a university debate. 585 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,640 Like, she came back in after the task and said, 586 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:23,920 "Ryan, how do you feel about being a stay-at-home dad?" 587 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,440 And... 588 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,040 His response was... (GASPS) 589 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,680 "I am offended that you would even ask that question." 590 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,040 No, no. 591 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,840 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 592 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,200 You were offended I asked the question. 593 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,240 I know how you feel about it. 594 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,960 I'm sorry, but I just don't... I don't want that 595 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,200 because I've got so many other important things 596 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,000 that I want to do with my life. 597 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,800 I feel like because Ryan is closed off 598 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,160 on certain issues like parenting... 599 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,000 I do need to be more open. 600 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,920 ..and his goals and dreams and ambitions... 601 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,600 there's no room for me 602 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,560 because I need equal opportunity in my relationship. 603 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,160 If I get an opportunity 604 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,720 where I can go to New York for six months and work, 605 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,800 I want to be able to take that opportunity. 606 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:17,840 If I'm in a coma... 607 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,240 I need to know that my husband's gonna step up to the plate. 608 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,680 His way of thinking is, like, "It's my way." 609 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,000 And on every single thing, we have an iss... 610 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:40,520 Like, everything. It started with the temperature, the couch... 611 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,440 Oh... ..what we are eating for dinner. 612 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,240 Jacqui! (LAUGHTER) 613 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,520 ..and now it's become, like, parenting. 614 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,720 It's, like, his way and then I have to fight for my needs... 615 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,280 That's not true. ..to be considered. 616 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,680 That is not true at all. It is, though. 617 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:55,720 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 618 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,520 I'm talking from the heart and things that are important to me 619 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,680 and I feel like I'm trapped and I've got no way out 620 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,600 and I just feel like you're not hearing me. 621 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,400 Pressure on me do something that you don't want to... 622 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:07,840 No, you don't have to do anything. 623 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,480 You just have to be open to considering 624 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,400 being a stay-at-home dad. 625 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,640 I cannot be with someone who won't support me. 626 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,480 It's a non-negotiable. 627 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,440 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 628 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:20,720 This is an absolute deal breaker for me. 629 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,720 Pressure on me to do something that I don't want to do... 630 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,720 No, you don't have to do anything. 631 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,320 You just have to be open to considering 632 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,400 being a stay-at-home dad. 633 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,720 I cannot be with someone who won't support me. 634 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,600 It's a non-negotiable. 635 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,080 This is an absolute deal breaker for me. 636 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:53,040 MEL: Ryan, again, having an openness 637 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,200 to where your life, you know, could potentially take you 638 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,640 is, I think, what Jacqui's asking for here... 639 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:02,720 not for you to say "Right now, I'm gonna give up my career 640 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,480 "and be the stay-at-home dad." 641 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,720 But I think she just needs to hear 642 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,080 that you have some flexibility in thought 643 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,400 and some openness to maybe do things a little differently. 644 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,880 OK. Yep. I fully understand what you mean. 645 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,480 Yes, I will...I will definitely give it more consideration 646 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,400 because I want you to... Yeah. 647 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,040 ..I want you to feel as if that I am taking this seriously. 648 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,720 Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. 649 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,880 I raised these things 'cause I want us to work out, 650 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,040 I want to give us the opportunity to work through these issues 651 00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,960 because another lot of them are really important to me 652 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,800 or they're gonna be deal-breakers. 653 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,040 Feedback's a gift. 654 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,160 I so wholeheartedly believe that. 655 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,520 And my letter was full of, like, you know... 656 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,120 Can I be... ..it was, like, you know... 657 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:52,880 Can I be honest about something? 658 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,000 Every line, I had the solution under it. 659 00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:00,560 Things that you bring up sometimes I feel are judgemental. 660 00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:06,200 With the letter, I did feel like it was reducing my character. 661 00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,240 That was the energy I got from it. 662 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,480 Sometimes I do feel on trial for being myself. 663 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,240 You know, you came into this saying you have huge expectations, 664 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,400 you've got very high standards. 665 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:16,840 I feel inadequate sometimes. 666 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,920 I feel like I don't measure up. 667 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:27,440 (SIGHS) 668 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:29,840 Yeah. 669 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,920 Like, sometimes my mannerisms, 670 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,920 sometimes my ways of thinking just don't... 671 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,520 (SIGHS) It's OK. 672 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:39,960 It's OK. 673 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,840 It's OK. JAMIE: Aw. 674 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,560 It's OK. 675 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,200 JOHN: I do like this side of Ryan... 676 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,440 and tonight, he's actually being quite vulnerable with his feelings 677 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,960 in a way which probably we haven't quite heard before. 678 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,520 Yeah. Mmm. 679 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,680 I guess what I wanted to say to you, Jacqui, is that, you know, 680 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,160 if your man is saying at times "I feel like I don't measure up," 681 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,520 it's very important to hear that. 682 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,800 Actually, you know what, she did make a good point in her letter. 683 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,280 She said there's strength in vulnerability. 684 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:23,880 Oh. 685 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,480 That's one thing that rang true for me as well, 686 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,640 'cause I do struggle with that, you know. 687 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,200 Yeah. 688 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,760 I've had to be the self-serving, really tough exterior... 689 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,400 just manage everything on my own, from the finances and the career, 690 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,200 believe it or not, all the way to, like, adopting a dog 691 00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:44,280 and just building my own life. 692 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,080 Yeah, like, I do struggle with that. I do. 693 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,960 I am very aware I do have very high standards. 694 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,480 Like, I said that right from the beginning. 695 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,920 And literally I feel like this man 696 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,560 who is a completely different man today 697 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,120 than the man who I married on day one... 698 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,040 like, he is Mr Bachelor right now. 699 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:08,720 He's cooking me eggs now because he heard Jeff cooked me eggs. 700 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,840 Like... (LAUGHTER) 701 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,320 My gosh. TEEJAY: For god's sakes, Jeff! 702 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:16,480 RYAN: I've gotta take a page where it's due. You know, like... 703 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:17,640 The point is, I am... 704 00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:20,040 I'm learning how to show up more and, like, I'm taking feedback. 705 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:23,960 Alright, we're gonna go to the decision. 706 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,840 Let's start with you, Jacqui. 707 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,480 I've said stay 'cause I do think that Ryan will show up for me. 708 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,200 And I'll be showing up for him as well. 709 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,440 So, stay. Good. 710 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:33,520 Yeah. Good, good, good. 711 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,040 Ryan, for you, stay or leave? 712 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,640 That letter just kind of knocked me for six. It did. 713 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:44,800 And then I was wondering, like, 714 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,840 "Why would I want to be with someone 715 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,280 "who has those distorted views of me?" 716 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,040 But we were able to process things, 717 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,840 so let's see if that continues. 718 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,600 Good. Good, good, good, good. (APPLAUSE) 719 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,040 I like it. I like the vulnerability. 720 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:09,240 I like you having what are very important conversations. 721 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,280 Mmm. 722 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,760 Good stuff, guys. Off you go. Thank you very much. 723 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:13,800 Thank you so much. Thanks, guys. 724 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,920 MEL: Well done, guys. (APPLAUSE) 725 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,920 Our next couple up on the couch... 726 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,000 Beth and Teejay. 727 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,480 (APPLAUSE) 728 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,160 JOHN: Hey, you two. TEEJAY: How you going? 729 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,520 MEL: Well, we're doing well, 730 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,320 but we're very curious about how you guys are going. 731 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:38,840 BETH: Um... 732 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:44,320 Um, yeah, we obviously did the partner swap 733 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,440 and we did the letter. 734 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:53,320 Since that letter, I shared that I felt the reason 735 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,880 maybe me and Teejay aren't intimate yet 736 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,000 is because maybe he's not attracted to me like I am to him. 737 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,600 It's not something I'd shared with him yet 738 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,840 'cause I felt too embarrassed to ask that question... 739 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,320 in case I didn't like the answer. 740 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,880 I think I told myself from the get-go 741 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,040 that maybe I wouldn't be good enough for Teejay... 742 00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,040 and then, because the intimacy is lacking, 743 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,920 I instantly blame myself 744 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,160 and think maybe it's because I'm not attractive enough 745 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:30,440 that he doesn't want to do those things. 746 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,040 Can I just check that I'm on the right track here? 747 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,160 Yeah. 748 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:39,960 So, you were in a sexual relationship and then that's now off the table? 749 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,320 Labelling it as a "sexual relationship" 750 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,120 probably isn't the right terminology for it. 751 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,760 We were intimate once and then... 752 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,440 So you had sex... COUPLE: Yep. 753 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,320 ..and you haven't had it since. TEEJAY: Correct. Yeah. 754 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,600 Right. 755 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:52,800 ALESSANDRA: Why would you say, Teejay, 756 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,800 that sexual intimacy and, like, physical intimacy 757 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,480 hasn't progressed for you two? 758 00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,440 I genuinely believe it's an emotional connection thing. 759 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,120 Didn't want this relationship to feel like 760 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,240 it was just a sexual-based relationship. 761 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,520 In the past, I probably have rushed intimate connections 762 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,480 and neglected the emotional and that's probably why 763 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,200 I haven't had a successful relationship in the past. 764 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,080 That's really what I want to focus on, is building that connection. 765 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,960 I really want to have, like, our souls intertwining 766 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,760 before moving back into the intimate side of things. 767 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,840 Beth, I wonder, do you feel that you need your souls intertwine 768 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,280 in order to have sex with one another? 769 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,640 For me, no. 770 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:37,280 To have an actual lasting relationship, absolutely. 771 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:42,040 I did not come here just to sleep with someone. 772 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:45,840 I came here for a relationship. I want the deeper connection. 773 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,120 Because intimacy does feel so much better with someone 774 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,000 when you have those feelings. 775 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:56,800 MEL: Teejay, where are your feelings at at the moment towards Beth? 776 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,440 I thoroughly enjoy my time with Beth. 777 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,080 We get along so well and it's awesome. 778 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,320 Like, I feel so light when I'm around her. 779 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:04,720 We're always laughing, always smiling. 780 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,000 And I thought that Beth and I were on the same page 781 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:08,440 about where we were at, 782 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,040 but when she mentioned that she didn't think 783 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,640 that I was still physically attracted to her, 784 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,920 I feel like maybe we weren't on the same page. 785 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,240 Well, are you? 786 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,800 Am I physically attracted to Beth? Absolutely. 787 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,840 Mmm. Absolutely. 788 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,360 ALESSANDRA: Did you do anything during the week, Teejay, 789 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,120 to show her that you desired her? 790 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:34,280 Probably not from, like, I didn't try initiate anything in bed 791 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:35,360 or anything like that. 792 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,440 Doesn't have to be in bed. Yep. 793 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,160 But for her to feel desired, it's not just "Here's a nice cup of coffee." 794 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:45,440 Are you making out? 795 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,960 I wouldn't say we're making out. We kiss. 796 00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:49,960 I'm not often sticking my tongue down her throat... 797 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,080 Well, maybe make out! It's very high school, no? 798 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:54,080 Yeah. It's not even. 799 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:54,920 I mean... Yeah. 800 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,400 I'm not talking about necessarily going all out 801 00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,960 with the whips and chains... Of course. 802 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:03,280 ..but something where she feels, "Oh, he, like, likes me." 803 00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:04,600 Yep. 804 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,840 MEL: Alright, well, we're gonna go to a decision, you guys. 805 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:12,000 We're gonna start with you, Beth. 806 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,280 I'm not done yet, so I'm staying. 807 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,720 Excellent. (APPLAUSE) 808 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:19,560 And to you, Teejay. 809 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:21,240 I do want to keep learning more about you 810 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,000 and I want to keep learning more about us and where we can go, 811 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,800 so I wrote the same word - stay. 812 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,960 Brilliant. Good stuff. (APPLAUSE) 813 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,360 Thank you so much. Thanks, guys. 814 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,760 Thanks, guys. Thank you. Thanks. 815 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,520 (APPLAUSE) 816 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,760 BETH: I feel good after that couch session. 817 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,880 He said he's attracted to me and I know it sounds stupid 818 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,200 but I guess it was just the validation that I needed. 819 00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,440 I've been beating myself up about it and feeling really bad. 820 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,040 And at the end of the day, this is new for me. 821 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,360 I've never had a boyfriend before, ever. 822 00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,120 This is all new and I need to give myself a break. 823 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,200 NARRATOR: Next... 824 00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,320 There seems to be a sensitivity chip missing. 825 00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:58,600 ..Paul crosses the line. 826 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,920 JOHN: Paul, you're really missing the point 827 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,520 and you're lacking emotional intelligence. 828 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,520 And later... 829 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,240 JAMIE: I feel like the person I've fallen in love with, 830 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,480 like, doesn't exist. 831 00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:12,840 ..is it the end of the road for Jamie and Dave? 832 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,880 I need to know how the hell you're going to convince me 833 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,520 that this hasn't been a fake relationship. 834 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,640 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 835 00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:29,560 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 836 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,600 Our next couple up on the couch... 837 00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:36,800 Rhi and Jeff. 838 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,160 (BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS) (APPLAUSE) 839 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,080 JEFF: Hey, guys. ALESSANDRA: Hello. 840 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,680 MEL: Hello. JOHN: Rhi and Jeff. 841 00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:48,320 (RHI LAUGHS) 842 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,440 How are you guys after feedback week? 843 00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,240 Not too bad. The partner swap was OK. 844 00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,080 I feel like Eliot and I had a great time. 845 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:02,560 But it just made me realise, like, how great we do have it. 846 00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:06,480 Yeah. I agree with that. Like, I had a good time with Jacqui. 847 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,720 Had some awkward moments, but it was good. It was a challenge. 848 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,320 (LAUGHTER) 849 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,920 Yeah, it made me realise how much I missed Rhi 850 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,720 and I couldn't wait to see her again. 851 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,680 (LAUGHTER) 852 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:26,800 Yeah. Like, by day three, I was really, really ready to go home. 853 00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:27,880 (LAUGHS) Yeah. 854 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,200 So you missed him? You missed Jeff? I really did, yeah. 855 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,840 It just made me really grateful for our relationship. 856 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,600 It was, like, I definitely am all in. 857 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,320 And I did say in my letter, 858 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,320 like, I came here to find my forever person 859 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:47,160 and I wholeheartedly hope that it's Jeff. 860 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:56,440 MEL: Wow. 861 00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,520 That's big. Yeah. 862 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,320 ALESSANDRA: That's so great to hear. Yeah. 863 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,360 Is it hot in here? (LAUGHTER) 864 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:10,320 Jeff, do you think about life outside of the experiment with Rhi 865 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,320 and what that's gonna look like? 866 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,000 Oh, definitely, yeah. 867 00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,040 I'm actually not worried about life outside the experiment 868 00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:17,680 at all, really. 869 00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,080 Our relationship's growing stronger every single day 870 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,000 and it is becoming really special for me 871 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,280 and, yeah, keen to see what the future holds. 872 00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:26,960 ALESSANDRA: I love that. MEL: Yeah. 873 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,240 ALESSANDRA: We're gonna go to the decision, you guys. 874 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,160 Perfect. Sure. 875 00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:31,760 I don't think we're gonna be too surprised. 876 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,200 (LAUGHTER) JOHN: What are they gonna do? 877 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:35,960 ALESSANDRA: Suspense! We'll start with you, Jeff. 878 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,120 (LAUGHTER) 879 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,480 Yeah, I'm gonna stay. MEL: Oh, lovely. 880 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:41,880 ALESSANDRA: Miss Rhi? Yep. 881 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,120 Short and sweet. 882 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,800 I'm happy and I would like to stay as well. 883 00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:46,800 Yay. (APPLAUSE) 884 00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,600 ALESSANDRA: Excellent. MEL: Very nice. 885 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,760 Well done. Thanks for your time. 886 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:52,760 Well done, you guys. Thank you. 887 00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,480 Thank you. (LAUGHS) 888 00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,520 MAN: Jeffrey. OTHERS: Jeffrey. 889 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:03,760 Our next couple up on the couch... 890 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,720 (TENSE MUSIC) 891 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,920 ..Carina and Paul. 892 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,680 PAUL: Eh! (APPLAUSE) 893 00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:13,000 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 894 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,720 OK. So, Paul, tell me... 895 00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,400 Yes. ..what's going on? 896 00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:25,960 Feedback week probably didn't go as expected. 897 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:29,680 The honesty letter that I had to write 898 00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:31,160 raised a whole bunch of concerns. 899 00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:35,800 What was in your letter that brought concerns? 900 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:41,560 So, I spoke about, you know, sort of... 901 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,160 I said that sometimes she come across as... 902 00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:48,160 I feel like she comes across as a bit of a snob. 903 00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,160 I know I should have probably not used that word. 904 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,720 Is your thought that Carina is a snob? 905 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:02,120 Well, see, that's the thing, 906 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:06,200 because I feel like sometimes she comes across as being very judgy. 907 00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:09,400 She judges people very quickly. 908 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:10,480 For what? 909 00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,760 Help us understand what kind of comment was made. 910 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,720 (TENSE MUSIC) 911 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,080 So, OK... 912 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:28,360 So, when I told Carina, "Oh, look, I know Awhina..." 913 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,080 because I used to basically date her twin sister... 914 00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:41,040 so, Carina felt a bit weird about the partner swap, which is fine. 915 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:42,480 Like, which is fair enough. 916 00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,240 But then she made that comment saying, 917 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,680 "Oh, like, I didn't think you would go for that kind of calibre." 918 00:48:46,720 --> 00:48:49,560 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 919 00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:00,560 So, obviously, that comment sort of triggered me a little bit. 920 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,840 You know, like, I personally would never judge someone 921 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:04,920 for where they're from, for where they live, how they look, 922 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,240 which is why I decided to raise it into the letter. 923 00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,080 Carina, how do you feel about all this? 924 00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:22,840 Obviously I'm not proud of the comment that I made. 925 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,280 The comment was not cool. 926 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:28,120 I was very uncomfortable partner-swapping. 927 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:31,480 I did it in insecurities, defence mechanism. 928 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:35,920 That comment wasn't to be out there to the universe 929 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:37,840 and that's what's happened now. 930 00:49:40,240 --> 00:49:44,280 Awhina was incredible and she fully accepted my apology. 931 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:49,840 But I feel a bit blindsided. 932 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,880 I thought, like, "He's my husband, it's a safe space to open up" 933 00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,600 and it's... 934 00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:02,480 I mean, hearing all these things from his letter 935 00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,760 was the last thing I was expecting from him. 936 00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:09,120 I felt like I just had, like, a punch to the heart. 937 00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:12,960 Now I'm.. definitely got my guard up. 938 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,320 I feel like I can't fully trust him right now. 939 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:22,880 Paul, why did you feel it was important for you 940 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,440 to tell Awhina 941 00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:28,720 that Carina at some point had made a comment about Awhina's sister? 942 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:32,000 Again, she was being very judgy of situations or people, 943 00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,520 so I just wanted to have Awhina's, you know, point of view 944 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,640 because I guess that was the whole point of the task, 945 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:38,760 to have someone else's... 946 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,600 Well, yes, but if you had a bunch of different examples 947 00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:41,920 over the last couple of months, 948 00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:43,480 why choose that one? 949 00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:47,480 I just got caught up in the task. 950 00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,040 The task was saying well, just raise concerns. 951 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,920 I just wrote stuff... 952 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,080 Did you consider Awhina's feelings about that, 953 00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:54,120 how she might feel? 954 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,920 Well, no, because they were concerns, so I just wanted to... 955 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:57,920 Why did you tell Awhina that at all? 956 00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:04,680 You passed on an insult to Awhina about her sister. 957 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:09,320 So there seems to be a sensitivity chip missing. 958 00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:13,240 'Cause, number one, it was in confidence. 959 00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,320 It's not considering the repercussions 960 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:19,080 between Awhina and Carina, 961 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,880 yet also, it is something that you clearly had been holding onto 962 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,120 for quite a while and had not brought up yourself. 963 00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,680 (SIGHS) 964 00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:31,880 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 965 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:35,880 Do you realise the gravity of that choice? 966 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:38,600 (SIGHS) 967 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:52,920 I just... I just... I'm just feeling, yeah, a bit hurt 968 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,480 because like, I just...I thought that task was to raise concerns 969 00:51:55,560 --> 00:52:00,120 and I just feel like not a single one of them 970 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:06,600 were even taken seriously or even slightly validated... 971 00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:10,120 JOHN: Paul, I've got to jump in and support Alessandra here 972 00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:14,440 because essentially you're really missing the point 973 00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:16,840 and you're lacking emotional intelligence. 974 00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,040 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 975 00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:21,360 You're not reading the room. 976 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:34,080 Paul, I've got to jump in and support Alessandra here 977 00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,000 because you're really missing the point 978 00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,360 and you're lacking emotional intelligence. 979 00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,440 You're not reading the room. 980 00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:56,520 For you to go to Awhina without telling Carina about this 981 00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:02,600 just smacks of essentially thinking about yourself and nobody else. 982 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:09,600 You say things like that, you throw grenades out there, 983 00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:13,080 it's gonna blow you up, it's gonna blow your relationship up. 984 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,360 ALESSANDRA: The whole thing could've been avoided 985 00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,800 if you simply had spoken to your wife 986 00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,440 about what was bothering you about her comment... 987 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,840 but instead of taking accountability, 988 00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,600 you're acting like you're shocked 989 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,320 that Carina feels blindsided and upset. 990 00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,000 I know. 991 00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:43,960 What is concerning is the examples that you give 992 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:47,400 break confidence and break trust, 993 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:51,360 so the way you go about it ends up skewing the focus 994 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,680 from where you wanted to be. 995 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,560 Yeah. 996 00:53:58,240 --> 00:53:59,840 (SIGHS) Sorry. 997 00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,400 I didn't mean to. 998 00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:09,080 Carina, how has this made you feel about your relationship with Paul? 999 00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:15,760 Yeah, well, the number one thing that I want 1000 00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:17,320 is a family with my partner 1001 00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,720 and to feel comfortable in going to that person in a safe haven... 1002 00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,480 to open up and talk about things 1003 00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,640 that you wouldn't maybe say to other people. 1004 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,240 I feel like I can't fully trust him right now. 1005 00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:36,080 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1006 00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:38,760 Are you now questioning 1007 00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,560 whether or not you and Paul are truly compatible as a couple? 1008 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,480 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1009 00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,000 A little bit. Yeah. 1010 00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,920 (PAUL SIGHS) 1011 00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:07,000 I didn't expect that. (EXHALES) 1012 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,960 Sorry, it's a bit of a hard pill to swallow. 1013 00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:24,280 To say that now she's questioning if we are compatible or not... 1014 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,280 it hurts to hear that. 1015 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,840 Well, trust is a big one, though. 1016 00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,280 Yep. 1017 00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:38,560 Sorry. 1018 00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,600 (SOLEMN MUSIC) 1019 00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:47,240 I think we need to go to the decision. 1020 00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:48,880 We'll start with you, Paul. 1021 00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,480 I know it looks like we're probably not in the best place right now. 1022 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,320 I... I have made a mistake. 1023 00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,280 I understand, like, there's obviously a lot 1024 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,120 that I need to learn about myself 1025 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:04,280 but like I said, I really do like Carina. 1026 00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,120 I like the way she is. 1027 00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,000 She has shown me all those vulnerable... 1028 00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:13,760 and that sensitivity that she can have and so, yeah, I want to stay. 1029 00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,280 Excellent. Very nice. 1030 00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:17,280 Carina? 1031 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,480 I mean, obviously hearing everything 1032 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,360 and going through what we've been going through, 1033 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,640 we are trying to still understand one another 1034 00:56:24,720 --> 00:56:27,080 and we still care for one another, really like one another, 1035 00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:31,760 really, really like one another, so, yeah, I want to stay as well... 1036 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:32,600 Yay! Yeah. 1037 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:33,640 Excellent. (APPLAUSE) 1038 00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:35,640 ..and figure this out, work on it. 1039 00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,840 I do know that you guys have a strong relationship 1040 00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:45,080 and really like each other. 1041 00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,200 It's been evident throughout. 1042 00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:51,360 It's a shame to think that you've been harbouring these thoughts 1043 00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,480 and these concerns and not feel safe enough to share. 1044 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:58,600 Communication is so important in relationships 1045 00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:01,400 because we want to be able to have the deep, difficult conversations... 1046 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,560 and the one thing that has to be in any love relationship 1047 00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,280 for it to succeed 1048 00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:11,440 is the trust that you can tell your partner your secrets 1049 00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:15,360 and they will not be used against you. 1050 00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,520 Well, good luck, you guys, this week. 1051 00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,440 I hope you have a really good week. Thank you so much. 1052 00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:22,920 COUPLE: Thank you. Go back to the couch. 1053 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,840 (APPLAUSE) MEL: Well done, you guys. 1054 00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,000 JOHN: Alright. 1055 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,680 Our final couple up on the couch... 1056 00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:37,920 Jamie and Dave. 1057 00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,600 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (APPLAUSE) 1058 00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:44,320 MAN: Good luck, guys. 1059 00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:48,680 (JAMIE EXHALES) 1060 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,600 Well, I know for a fact that we've got plenty to talk about. 1061 00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,680 We saw a very different couple at the dinner party last night. 1062 00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:04,360 Frankly, we're even seeing it right now. 1063 00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:07,840 Yep. 1064 00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:12,120 I mean, you two were going very well together. 1065 00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,520 So, what happened? 1066 00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,320 I feel like our relationship, you've seen, obviously, 1067 00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:24,600 we've had a really good partnership and the union is very evident, 1068 00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:28,320 but there is an issue within intimacy. 1069 00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:32,600 The intimacy itself, when it's happening, great, no complaints. 1070 00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:37,800 Dave just doesn't initiate any intimacy. 1071 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,120 I feel like I'm constantly pursuing my husband. 1072 00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,640 Right. 1073 00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,560 I've voiced this many times. 1074 00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:52,520 He seems to understand and wants to make changes, but he doesn't. 1075 00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:57,280 So, I put this into the letter about intimacy. 1076 00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:59,600 Adrian did give some feedback. 1077 00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:02,560 He was, like, "Look, this might not be the case, 1078 00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:03,960 "but from a male perspective, 1079 00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:05,480 "it could be, like, an attraction thing." 1080 00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,960 Did Dave then reassure you when you brought this up? 1081 00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:15,280 No. 1082 00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:21,280 There was no sense of reassurance or validation 1083 00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,760 or even, like, emotion. 1084 00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:24,960 You weren't, like, "Jamie, of course. 1085 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,240 "I can't believe you think that," 1086 00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:28,960 or, like, "I think you're gorgeous. I'm so sorry I haven't shown that." 1087 00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:32,280 And that was so alarming. 1088 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,600 I left that conversation not really knowing where his feelings are, 1089 00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,320 still thinking I don't think he's attracted to me 1090 00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,920 and I feel so confused. 1091 00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:53,360 Dave, what's your take on all of this? 1092 00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,160 (SIGHS) 1093 00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:02,040 Yeah, I think, like... 1094 01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:05,920 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1095 01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,400 Yeah, I think I was trying to protect myself. 1096 01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:14,400 My walls went up 'cause I was, like...it sounded like 1097 01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,560 nothing I've done in the past matters right now but this. 1098 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:19,840 I sort of got really upset at Jamie 1099 01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:23,440 because, I don't know, not only does she say that she loves me, 1100 01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:24,960 she shows me it all the time. 1101 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,040 We know. 1102 01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,040 But I'm not there yet and it's scary for me. 1103 01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,720 And when it's brought up like that, like, I do... 1104 01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,680 I don't know, I felt like I wasn't good enough 1105 01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,080 and I was, like, "I'm putting my walls up 1106 01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:38,360 "because I'm gonna get hurt..." 1107 01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:41,160 Do you see how it's back to you're not feeling good enough? 1108 01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:42,640 But, like, in the moment, your wife is thinking... 1109 01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,000 Yeah, I know. ..she's not attractive enough... 1110 01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:46,480 That's what I struggle with. 1111 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,200 That's when I needed you to show up for me and you didn't. 1112 01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:55,360 Even this morning, I was waiting for you to come in to hug me, 1113 01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,640 to kiss me, to be, like, "I'm so sorry." 1114 01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,520 You came in this morning and you said 1115 01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,760 "I had a problem with how you spoke to me last night." 1116 01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:03,600 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1117 01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,400 What? 1118 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,520 Well, there was some things last night that hurt me. 1119 01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,440 I was waiting for you to come in, to hug me, to kiss me, 1120 01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:24,160 to be, like, "I'm so sorry." 1121 01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,080 You came in this morning and you said, 1122 01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:28,280 "I had a problem with how you spoke to me last night." 1123 01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:35,920 What? 1124 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,040 Well, there was some things last night that hurt me. 1125 01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:44,280 MEL: Dave, I've gotta be honest with you, 1126 01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:46,800 we were watching you guys really closely last night 1127 01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,520 and we were quite surprised 1128 01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:53,960 because, Dave, you've sat here with us on this couch five times now 1129 01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:58,400 and talked about the way this relationship has been developing. 1130 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:01,280 You know, you've practically danced to the couch... 1131 01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:04,240 Yeah. ..you've been so happy. 1132 01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:11,000 Yet last night, watching you and seeing the pain that Jamie was in, 1133 01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:15,840 you were detached, you were cold, you didn't validate her at all... 1134 01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:16,760 Yeah. 1135 01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,240 ..when you could see that she was clearly struggling. 1136 01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:22,880 It appeared as though Jamie was out on her own, on a limb, 1137 01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:26,480 and you were just allowing that. 1138 01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:31,280 It was this completely different side of you that we'd never seen before. 1139 01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:32,760 Yeah. 1140 01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:38,520 So, when you're behaving like that, can you now understand why 1141 01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:42,440 Jamie is starting to question whether you have feelings for her? 1142 01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,920 Yeah, totally. 1143 01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:57,280 It hurt me because I'm someone who constantly compliments Dave 1144 01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:00,360 because I want my partner to feel desired, 1145 01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:01,680 I want them to feel amazing, 1146 01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:04,280 I want them to feel like the best-looking thing out. 1147 01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:07,960 I buy you nice gifts, I build you up, I initiate sex, 1148 01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:13,400 but the one thing I've asked is to feel pursued by him. 1149 01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,480 And he hasn't done those things. 1150 01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:25,640 ALESSANDRA: Dave, why have you not pursued? 1151 01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:29,000 I think that's the question that Jamie has for you 1152 01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,000 and that's really the one that I have also. 1153 01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:33,720 Yeah. I'm trying to understand what's going on. 1154 01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:35,800 I care about Jamie a lot. She does pursue me. 1155 01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:37,760 I really like it when she does. 1156 01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:39,960 It's not like I don't like having sex with her. 1157 01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:41,480 It's not that at all. 1158 01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:43,360 I like it when she does that. Yay. 1159 01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:45,840 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1160 01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:48,920 Why have you not pursued? 1161 01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:53,920 Yeah, I just... I don't know. I feel like it's... 1162 01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:59,800 Jamie's sort of taken charge since the start of this relationship 1163 01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:01,080 and maybe I've slipped into a pattern. 1164 01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:07,280 And to be honest, I don't believe he has those romantic feelings for me 1165 01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,760 because he hasn't shown up in that aspect at all. 1166 01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,960 I show up in those ways all the time. 1167 01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:17,480 Do you have romantic feelings for Jamie, Dave? 1168 01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,560 Yeah, I think I do. It's just... 1169 01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:33,320 You think you do? Well, I have. 1170 01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,080 You think? You're guessing? 1171 01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:38,960 (SIGHS) It's... 1172 01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,440 You think you do or you know you do? 1173 01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:50,600 I do, and that's what... 1174 01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:54,200 I think this is something that I really need to work on. 1175 01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:58,120 (SOLEMN MUSIC) 1176 01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:04,560 I don't know what to say. 1177 01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:11,280 Right now, I'm thinking, like, "Has my whole relationship been, 1178 01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:12,840 "like, a figment of my imagination?" 1179 01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,160 I feel like the person I've fallen in love with, like, doesn't exist. 1180 01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:25,120 I question genuineness. I really do. 1181 01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:28,640 I really do. You're not showing me anything that proves me otherwise. 1182 01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:31,600 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1183 01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:41,040 Dave, I need to know how the hell you're going to convince me 1184 01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:42,720 that this hasn't been a fake relationship. 1185 01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:47,920 So... 1186 01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:53,480 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1187 01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,440 That was a good start. 1188 01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:08,200 (SIGHS) 1189 01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:16,080 JOHN: Hey, Dave, do you understand the way you're behaving to this woman 1190 01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:20,720 who has given you everything over the past two months? 1191 01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:23,440 Do you have any idea what she's feeling? 1192 01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:31,280 When a guy that she thinks is 100% committed to her 1193 01:06:31,360 --> 01:06:36,800 suddenly turns up and is disconnected, detached and uncaring, 1194 01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,240 what do you think that does to her? 1195 01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,720 Destroys her. Give me more. 1196 01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:43,840 How does she feel? Heartbroken. 1197 01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:45,320 Give me more. 1198 01:06:55,920 --> 01:07:02,080 We spent five couch sessions with you thinking everything is going well. 1199 01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:08,520 In three days, it looks like you're on your way out. 1200 01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:11,880 What happened? 1201 01:07:11,920 --> 01:07:14,040 You've got some explaining to do. 1202 01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:18,960 And I don't understand it, neither does she 1203 01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:20,640 and neither does the whole group. 1204 01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:24,040 Um... 1205 01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:25,680 (SIGHS) 1206 01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,000 (TENSE MUSIC) 1207 01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:46,000 Dave, you've got some explaining to do. 1208 01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,440 Um... (SIGHS) 1209 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:59,120 Mate, I just... I want to be completely honest. 1210 01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:00,480 Like, this is... 1211 01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:05,040 This one of the most uncomfortable spots 1212 01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:06,360 in a relationship for me. 1213 01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:12,160 When Jamie said that she loved me, I got scared 1214 01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:17,000 'cause I was worried that I'm not gonna get there and, you know, 1215 01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:19,640 letting her down, letting this down, 1216 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:25,000 so I shut down and I handled it wrong. 1217 01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:29,240 That's not who I am and I don't like that person, 1218 01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:31,200 when I've been putting my walls up 1219 01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:35,120 and I'm not the caring person I should be towards you. 1220 01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:40,880 But I'm still here and I do care about her. 1221 01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:45,600 Because this is real and, yes, the romantic side, I struggle... 1222 01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,000 I struggle showing you that. 1223 01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:52,280 And, yes, there's things that I should've worked harder on. 1224 01:08:52,320 --> 01:08:53,560 And I'm sorry. 1225 01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:59,400 But she does make me feel special and wanted and needed and seen. 1226 01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:02,160 She's one of the most amazing people I've ever met 1227 01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,800 and that's intimidating to lose. 1228 01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:10,440 I have to figure out how to get out of my own head at the moment 1229 01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:11,720 and start thinking more about Jamie. 1230 01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,320 How fast do you think you need to do that? 1231 01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,160 By the time I get off this couch. 1232 01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:22,280 Because it's gonna fall on your shoulders. 1233 01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:25,200 (TENSE MUSIC) 1234 01:09:25,280 --> 01:09:28,840 We're gonna go to the decision. Stay or leave? 1235 01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:32,640 And we're gonna go with you first, Dave. 1236 01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:36,040 Um... 1237 01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:43,360 Yeah, I do apologise for how I've acted 1238 01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:47,440 and the lack of awareness around what was actually happening 1239 01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:48,720 and to your feelings. 1240 01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:57,760 Um... But I want to stay and work on them. 1241 01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:59,640 I like that. (APPLAUSE) 1242 01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:03,960 Jamie? 1243 01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,800 (EXHALES) Stay or leave? 1244 01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:11,000 This whole last couple of days has thrown me for a loop 1245 01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:16,160 and I'm so sick to death of crying and feeling so...just shit. 1246 01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:18,200 That's all I can say, just shit. 1247 01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:22,680 I don't believe you right now at all. 1248 01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:25,720 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1249 01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:34,880 But because I have put my absolute back into this relationship, 1250 01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:37,960 before I throw everything away, 1251 01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:41,720 I will continue to see how he's going to show up 1252 01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:43,600 and humour him with another week. 1253 01:10:43,680 --> 01:10:46,120 (APPLAUSE) (SIGHS) 1254 01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:53,400 Alright, so you've both decided to stay. Good. 1255 01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:54,760 That's the first hurdle. 1256 01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:58,320 Dave, you're at a crossroads. 1257 01:10:58,400 --> 01:11:01,200 This is all about showing up and stepping up. 1258 01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,160 We can talk about fear or your walls going up. 1259 01:11:04,240 --> 01:11:07,760 That's fine, but frankly, it bores me. 1260 01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:11,480 What we need to hear is how you're gonna do it different. 1261 01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:15,840 Get specific. What are you gonna do this week? 1262 01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:18,440 (TENSE MUSIC) 1263 01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:20,280 Woo her. 1264 01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:22,600 Which suggests romance. Mmm. 1265 01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:25,800 Have you got that in you? I sure do, somewhere in there. 1266 01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:26,920 I'll get it. 1267 01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,800 Alright. Go back to the couch. 1268 01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:33,200 (APPLAUSE) 1269 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:37,760 Still a little bit unsure if Dave does have those romantic feelings. 1270 01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:41,080 All I can ask is now he proves it. 1271 01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:42,960 Show up. 1272 01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,280 Romance me, homeboy. Do it. 1273 01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:53,320 NARRATOR: Tomorrow night... CARINA: Welcome to my humble abode! 1274 01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:55,160 ..it's homestays week... 1275 01:11:55,240 --> 01:11:56,920 Welcome. Thank you. 1276 01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,800 BETH: I'm home! (CHEERING) 1277 01:11:59,880 --> 01:12:02,880 Over two big nights, our couples get a taste 1278 01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:07,680 of what their married lives might look like outside the experiment. 1279 01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:11,960 And for Paul, it's a religious experience. 1280 01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:14,640 They're married, but not in the eyes of the church. 1281 01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:18,240 When they come into the family home, they need to be separated. 1282 01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:25,440 Then... 1283 01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:27,160 JACQUI: Your shoes are not allowed on my bed. 1284 01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:30,120 ..it's Jacqui's house, Jacqui's rules. 1285 01:12:30,160 --> 01:12:32,400 Jacqui is the most difficult person. 1286 01:12:32,440 --> 01:12:35,320 Jacqui asks the big question. 1287 01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,760 To beard or not to beard? 1288 01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,840 It's a beard, Jacqui! 1289 01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:44,040 So, are you falling in love with Jamie? 1290 01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:47,560 Protective sisters demand answers. 1291 01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:49,040 That's grim. 1292 01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:03,760 Adrian once again faces off with Awhina's twin sister. 1293 01:13:03,840 --> 01:13:07,360 I don't have a very good opinion of Adrian or his family or his friends. 1294 01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:10,680 Why don't you go inside so me and Adrian can have a chat? 1295 01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,640 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1296 01:13:17,720 --> 01:13:20,680 Captioned by AI-Media ai-media.tv 103501

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