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NARRATOR: Previously...
And the Oscar goes to... (APPLAUDS)
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00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,920
..feedback week
exposed even more cracks...
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,240
"Your extreme sense of masculine
pride and fragile ego
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00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,440
"are difficult to deal with..."
5
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,440
..as Jacqui did not hold back
in her honesty letter.
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00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:19,200
"I'm concerned that you financially
contribute less than I will..."
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00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,880
I will never be a stay-at-home dad.
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00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,760
It's insulting
that I would even consider that.
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00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,360
Paul's brutal confession...
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00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,440
..left Carina feeling blindsided.
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00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,240
You threw me under the bus
with Awhina's sister.
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00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,520
I don't hate the girl.
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00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,120
JOHN: Oh!
ALESSANDRA: The girl!
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00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,760
MEL AND ALESSANDRA:
"I don't hate the girl."
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00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,120
NARRATOR: But it was Dave's coldness
at the dinner party...
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00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,720
I feel like our entire relationship
is a lie.
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00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,600
..that shocked the room...
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00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,160
MEL: This is not the Dave we know.
JOHN: No.
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00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,520
AWHINA: Who is that man?
That's not the Dave I've met.
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00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,680
NARRATOR:
..and left Jamie heartbroken.
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00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,640
JAMIE: He's hurt me so much!
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00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,120
Who have I been laying next to
this whole experiment, Dave?
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00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,120
Tonight...
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00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,120
I feel inadequate sometimes.
I feel like I don't measure up.
25
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,920
..vulnerabilities laid bare.
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00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,760
It's because maybe he's not
attracted to me like I am to him.
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00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:28,000
It's the second-last commitment
ceremony of the experiment.
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I came here to find
my forever person
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00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,160
and I wholeheartedly hope
that it's Jeff.
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ALESSANDRA: I love that.
MEL: Yeah.
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00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,760
JOHN: Somebody over there is lying.
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00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,560
NARRATOR: The experts
apply the pressure...
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00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,840
JOHN: You're lacking
emotional intelligence.
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00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,840
There seems to be
a sensitivity chip missing.
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00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,560
NARRATOR: ..as Paul faces
the consequences
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00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,840
of his honesty letter.
37
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,480
I felt like I can't fully trust him
right now.
38
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,840
Are you now questioning
whether or not you and Paul
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00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,160
are truly compatible as a couple?
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00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,880
(EXHALES) I didn't expect that.
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00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,040
(GROANS)
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00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,120
And then...
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00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:06,920
JOHN: We spent five couch sessions
with you
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00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,600
thinking everything is going well.
45
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,720
NARRATOR: ..Dave's moment of truth.
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00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,880
Do you have romantic feelings
for Jamie, Dave?
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00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,440
Um...
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00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,840
(BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS)
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00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,160
NARRATOR: The countdown is on
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00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,120
to the second-last commitment
ceremony of the experiment.
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00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,960
But last night's
explosive dinner party
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00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:46,560
has left lingering effects on most
of our couples, except Rhi and Jeff.
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00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,120
Is this the most comfortable
that you've ever been?
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00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,320
Oh, yeah, this is great.
55
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,560
This might be the new position
where we chat on the couch.
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00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,200
What me and Rhi have
is pretty special
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00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,680
and that's what relationships
should be like.
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00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,560
(LAUGHS)
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00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,920
Sometimes I look around
and other couples are fighting
60
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,080
and it's hard to see
and I'm just like,
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00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,320
"Oh, I just wish you guys
could be on the same page as us."
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00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,000
Last night's dinner party revealed
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00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:20,120
feedback week has exposed cracks
in several relationships.
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00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,120
I think the biggest moment from last
night was definitely Dave and Jamie.
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00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,840
No-one saw that coming.
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00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,720
It's clear as day Dave doesn't want
to sleep with her, in my eyes
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00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,960
and more importantly,
does he even like her?
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00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,920
ADRIAN: I would be more worried more
about that than the sex.
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00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,920
I walked off confused.
Yeah, that's what she...
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00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,120
And I can only imagine
what she feels.
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00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,200
I know.
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00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,280
RYAN: It just goes to show,
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00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,880
you don't know what goes on
internally
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00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,160
that was making her, like,
dissatisfied...
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00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,000
JACQUI: Yeah.
..you know.
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00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,320
With Dave, like, I feel annoyed
because...
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00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,840
Yeah.
..he wasn't reflecting early on...
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00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,120
and he wasn't being open
and communicating with her.
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00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,400
JEFF: I'm still so not sure
what's gonna happen there.
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00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,640
RHI: Yeah, I feel for Jamie,
like, seeing her so upset.
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00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,120
Dave wasn't himself last night,
that's for sure.
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00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,440
No, not at all.
Just, yeah, super distant.
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00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,800
Yeah.
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00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,520
I just didn't realise
that so many people
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00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:07,960
were in so much trouble, really.
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00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:15,320
But it's not just Jamie and Dave's
relationship that's on shaky ground.
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00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,560
CARINA: I feel like feedback week
had a negative impact
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00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,440
on Paul and my relationship.
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00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,200
I do feel a little bit let down
by Paul.
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00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,920
I think how he wrote his letter,
he didn't realise the consequences.
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00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,120
In his honestly letter,
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00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,400
Paul revealed a comment
Carina had made privately
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00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,600
about Awhina's twin sister,
who Paul had one dated.
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00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,320
She said, "Oh, I didn't know you
would go for that kind of calibre."
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00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,280
Yeah.
AWHINA: Wow.
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00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,040
"I feel like she is a bit of a snob
sometimes
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00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,560
"and can come across as very judgy
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00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,400
"and I'll be honest with you,
this is giving me the ick."
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00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,160
CARINA: Did you read that to Awhina?
Yep.
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00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:01,360
At the dinner party, Awhina accepted
Carina's heartfelt apology.
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00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,000
It was a rude comment, it was
disrespectful and I judged you
102
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:09,040
and I'm sorry if that comment
just hurt you so much.
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00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,640
But tensions arose
between Carina and Paul.
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00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,600
You threw me under the bus, Paul.
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00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,880
You brought up the comment
about Awhina's sister.
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00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,600
No-one had to know about that
but you and me.
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00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:25,720
Last night's dinner party just had
no resolution between Paul and I.
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00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,840
And I'm struggling to move past it.
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00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,000
The whole, like, feeling like
you got thrown under the bus
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00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,960
or say that you have your walls up
and everything is...
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00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,320
Yeah, I think I'm still struggling
a little bit with just that part.
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00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,560
I'm a bit surprised, like, how you
can't see where I'm coming from,
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00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,480
with, like,
feeling a little bit hurt
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00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,400
and right now,
I've just lost the trust.
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00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,560
I would never throw my partner
under the bus like that.
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00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,440
If I had thrown that comment
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00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,120
at a dinner party in front of
15 people, I would understand,
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00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,160
but it was literally only between
Awhina and I.
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00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,320
Yeah, but, like, the whole task
was about me giving feedback,
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00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,920
so the fact that now it's completely
being turned around
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00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,000
and it's all about you
and how you feel, you know...
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00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,480
This task was meant to be
between Awhina and I.
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00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,960
I was meant to be honest
and open with her.
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00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,160
That's what I've done.
That's what I did.
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00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,760
Now it gets thrown back in my face
and now all of a sudden I just...
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00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,160
Carina doesn't trust me anymore.
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00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:40,240
While feedback week exposed cracks
in Carina and Paul's relationship...
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00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,240
for Eliot,
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00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:48,120
Veronica's honesty letter shattered
any hopes of a relationship at all.
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00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,920
I think this has kind of been
bubbling under the surface.
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00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,120
There's kind of been
this sort of thin veneer
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00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,320
covering Veronica's resentment
that she had towards me
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00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:03,360
and since reading out our letters,
that veneer has gone
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00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,480
and it's obvious
that my wife hates me.
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00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,640
Obviously she mentioned Dave a lot
in her letter, which is weird
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00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,960
when you're writing a letter about
the concerns about our relationship.
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00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,080
"I don't have to prompt Dave
to open up.
138
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,280
"When Dave and I converse,
it's effortless
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00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,240
"and the communication
flows easily.
140
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,240
"Dave makes me feel connected
and seen
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00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,040
"but unfortunately I don't feel
the same way with you."
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00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:30,960
OK.
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00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,840
I don't know what to say.
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00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,360
Like, it sucks
that you feel that way.
145
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,360
I tried to connect with your letter
and I tried...
146
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,120
Do you think that that's appropriate
that you're patronising me, Eliot?
147
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,320
When you do that...
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00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,600
Do you think that that's appropriate
that you're patronising me?
149
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,080
So, it turns out we still can't be
in the same room together.
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00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,880
You have no respect
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00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,960
and I'm not interested in pursuing
anything with you.
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00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,080
You're beneath me.
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00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:56,760
And the Oscar goes to... (APPLAUDS)
Veronica!
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00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:03,120
Her letter I think just took things
over the top.
155
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,240
I feel like I've really pushed
myself outside my comfort zone,
156
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,320
trying to make it work
157
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:14,560
but there's no real way that I could
reconcile with Veronica now.
158
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:20,560
This isn't something
that we can overcome as a couple.
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00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,760
NARRATOR: The commitment ceremony
is just hours away,
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00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,560
where our couples
will face the experts
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00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,600
and decide whether to stay
in the experiment...
162
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,280
or leave their marriages.
163
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,920
But one bride is yet to decide
if she'll attend at all.
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00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,640
DAVE: Hey, how are you?
(JAMIE LAUGHS)
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00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,280
How you going?
I'm Jamie.
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00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,640
I'm Dave, your big friendly giant
soon-to-be husband.
167
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,040
I vow to be open and honest
with my feelings,
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00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:07,880
I vow to make you feel seen
and heard.
169
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,800
(LAUGHS) What?
It's OK. You're safe.
170
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,560
Don't worry.
(LAUGHS)
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00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,280
OK. You guys gotta go.
(LAUGHS)
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00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,000
See you, guys.
You haven't even said goodbye.
173
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,360
Pack her up, boys!
(LAUGHS)
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00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,280
JAMIE: Now I'm really thinking
future
175
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,640
and I felt my feelings just went...
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
176
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,240
They did.
Massively.
177
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,200
It makes me feel all warm
and fuzzy and excited
178
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,000
thinking about the future.
179
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,760
(LAUGHS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
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00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,280
JAMIE: I genuinely believed we were
in a really good place.
181
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,800
So, right now, I don't feel
confident in my relationship.
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00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,760
I don't know
who I've been married to.
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00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,840
At the dinner party,
Jamie and the rest of the group
184
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:02,600
struggled to deal with
an uncharacteristically cold Dave.
185
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,360
MEL: Gosh, Dave's so different.
186
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,840
JOHN: He's got a wall up.
He's detached.
187
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,520
He's checked out.
188
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:12,640
JAMIE: Who have I been laying
next to this whole experiment, Dave?
189
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,360
I'm not at the level of love
that you have.
190
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,320
It's not "Tell me you love me"!
It's how far in we are!
191
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,640
You have not showed up for me!
(CRIES)
192
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,600
JEFF: Do you want this relationship?
193
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,520
Of course I want this to work.
194
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,680
I am sorry that I made you feel
that way. I really am.
195
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,440
Like, you are so special to me.
196
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,760
I am sorry.
197
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,560
JAMIE: Yesterday was a hard day
198
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,120
and I 100% still question
Dave's feelings.
199
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,680
That's why Dave needs to
prove himself.
200
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,560
Like, knock on my door with flowers,
Post-It notes,
201
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,360
write a poem, everything.
202
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,760
(KNOCKS)
203
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,840
Prove that what he's saying
is genuine.
204
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,320
Prove that, like, yeah, I haven't
just fallen in love with someone
205
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,520
who doesn't exist.
206
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:09,600
That's what I'm hoping for today.
This is day one of him proving it.
207
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,960
How are you feeling?
Fantastic.
208
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,200
Oh. Good.
209
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,720
Um...
210
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:23,000
Yeah, I guess I just want to say...
last night, there was...
211
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,480
I don't know, you did speak to me,
212
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,840
like, probably the worst
you've spoke to me
213
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,080
throughout this experiment.
214
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,800
You said some things to me
that hurt me last night as well.
215
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,720
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
216
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,040
Dave, seriously, that's what
you're gonna get hung up on?
217
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,520
Well, it seems like this whole...
218
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:47,240
As well as, like, the intimacy
and stuff throughout,
219
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,840
you've really talked about,
you know, how good it was
220
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,920
and then now it's, like...
it's not at all.
221
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,400
And you know what, coming at me
the way you did,
222
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,040
it took me back 'cause I just
didn't that we had that...
223
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,120
I need you to just stop
what you're doing right now.
224
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,720
Don't defend yourself, don't
plead your case, don't save face,
225
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,480
whatever the hell it is you're doing
226
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,600
and realise how badly
you've let me down and just own it.
227
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,760
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
228
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,040
I'm not feeling the way that
she wants me to feel,
229
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,960
or, like, demanding for me to feel,
so...
230
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,440
Just because you're jumping
to demands,
231
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,960
doesn't mean I'm gonna do it.
232
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,680
You came in last night
wanting to keep me...
233
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,440
Yeah...
..wanting to fight for me.
234
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,920
Fight for me, homeboy.
Fight for me.
235
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,120
Well, it just seems like
it's not happening.
236
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,320
Like, I'm... I'm...
237
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,840
You haven't even tried one day,
Dave!
238
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,320
But this is a conversation...
239
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:40,760
You just don't understand
where I'm coming from.
240
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,280
Stop with this bullshit.
241
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,600
I don't feel the way you feel,
Jamie.
242
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,120
It's hard for me to express that.
How many times...
243
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,360
I'm not asking you to!
244
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,520
But when you tell me last night
that you're going to prove it to me
245
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,520
and then you come in
and cast problems onto me,
246
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,000
like, what are we doing here?
247
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,960
Why did you give me
some bullshit excuse last night
248
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,240
that you're gonna...
I do care about you, Jamie.
249
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,280
Oh, you care...
I do.
250
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,640
You telling the table you care
and you want to fight for us.
251
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:05,040
What was that? Just to look like
a hero for a minute?
252
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,960
Stop (BLEEP) with me, 'cause my
feelings are real and it's not fair.
253
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,400
OK.
254
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,080
But if this is day one of trying to
prove yourself, excellent.
255
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,000
This is it?
256
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,480
I guess so.
257
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,320
Alright.
Jesus Christ.
258
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,920
I knew it. I knew he was lying to me
last night. I knew it.
259
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,800
Don't pull me aside and tell me
you're gonna show up for me
260
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,120
if you can't even get through
the first morning.
261
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,560
Up until a couple of days ago,
I had a husband
262
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,600
and a positive outlook on the future
263
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,120
with a man
who doesn't like me enough
264
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,960
to compliment me
or initiate affection.
265
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,520
He (BLEEP) it up. He did.
266
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,320
And the fact he can even come in
and even cast any problems onto me
267
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,480
is (BLEEP) laughable.
268
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,240
My bedroom.
269
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,280
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
270
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,800
He should be ashamed of himself.
271
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,040
I'm not (BLEEP) writing 'stay'
tonight.
272
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,080
There is no chance.
273
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,400
He's an absolute (BLEEP) liar.
274
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,920
We are now a team of three.
Understood?
275
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,040
We don't need that (BLEEP) psycho.
276
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,080
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
277
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,040
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
278
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,360
JOHN: Greetings, gents.
MAN: Hello, guys.
279
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,760
MEL: Hello, guys.
Hello. How you going?
280
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,120
Grab a seat.
281
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,480
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
282
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,000
Oh, greetings, ladies.
283
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,520
Come and join us.
MEL: Hi, ladies.
284
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,560
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
285
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,800
(RHI LAUGHS)
286
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:39,880
Welcome, everybody,
287
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,400
to the second-last commitment
ceremony of this experiment.
288
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,120
You've come off a huge week,
feedback week,
289
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,320
where we created new pairings
290
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,920
so that you could get a different
perspective on your relationship
291
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:58,040
from people that had watched you
and got to know you.
292
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,240
And this is a very important part
of the experiment
293
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,080
because it allows you
to widen your perspective...
294
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,800
and certainly,
it has landed for some couples.
295
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,840
Now, what became clear to us
last night
296
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,200
while we were watching
the dinner party
297
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:17,520
is that a number of you have not been
open and honest with us
298
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,760
at previous commitment ceremonies.
299
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:29,560
So, what we ask of you tonight
is open up and let us in.
300
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,600
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
301
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,240
MEL: Our first couple
up on the couch is...
302
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,840
Awhina and Adrian.
303
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,880
(BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS)
(APPLAUSE)
304
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,880
Hello, you two.
ADRIAN: Hey. How you going?
305
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:50,720
AWHINA: Hello.
306
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,200
Well, we're more interested in
how you're going.
307
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,960
Do you want to start?
No, you can start.
308
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000
I'll start. We're going good.
309
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:01,880
Last week, we discussed that
honesty letter and essentially...
310
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,200
Mm-hm.
..our letters were exactly the same.
311
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,040
They just looked
a little bit different.
312
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,840
..for me, that was a pivotal moment
in our relationship.
313
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,120
We recognised
that we stopped asking questions,
314
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,680
so now it's asking questions
and meaning it
315
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,200
and we're both being curious
about each other again.
316
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,960
I did like that we'd both written
similar things in our letters.
317
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,680
It sounds like this letter writing
318
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,920
helped you both arrive
at the same point,
319
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,880
this acknowledgement that there's
been a bit of a disconnection.
320
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,160
Yeah.
321
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,880
It wasn't just the task that we had.
322
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,400
After our time apart,
I did realise that, you know,
323
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:49,520
I do care for Awhina and, yeah,
I feel like we're progressing.
324
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,320
So, how do you now
keep the walls down?
325
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,560
Well, we're going to
couples' massage tomorrow.
326
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,720
That'll be a fun time.
Great. (LAUGHS)
327
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,440
Go away, Adrian, you dirty hog.
328
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,600
Well, sounds like you've reached
a bit of a turning point.
329
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,800
Yeah, I think the most important
thing is it feels easy again.
330
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,680
It feels like we're actually
enjoying each other's company.
331
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,080
I think we're gonna go to a decision.
332
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,120
It's an easy one.
333
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,160
Stay.
Brilliant.
334
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,520
(APPLAUSE)
335
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,960
And Awhina?
336
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600
Yeah, I think everyone knows
it was an easy one this week.
337
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,320
MAN: Well done.
WOMAN: Yay!
338
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:26,400
(APPLAUSE)
339
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,440
MEL: Well done, guys.
ADRIAN: Thank you.
340
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,920
We are so delighted that
you've reached this point.
341
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,120
Now, stay curious,
ask those questions...
342
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,080
and allow each other
to keep getting closer.
343
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,280
100%.
Yeah, and get sweaty tomorrow.
344
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,320
Do it.
(LAUGHTER)
345
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,040
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you.
346
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,640
BETH: Good job, guys.
347
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,760
(LAUGHTER)
348
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,760
Our next couple up on the couch...
349
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,320
(TENSE MUSIC)
350
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,120
Veronica and Eliot.
351
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,160
(APPLAUSE)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
352
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,640
Hello.
ELIOT: How we doing?
353
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,880
VERONICA: Hello.
ALESSANDRA: Hi.
354
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,000
Well, where to start with you two?
355
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,520
(TENSE MUSIC)
356
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,280
Eliot, why don't we start with you?
357
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:24,040
We just seem to have this pattern
with how we communicate,
358
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,440
where we don't see eye to eye
at all.
359
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,440
It's pretty combative
360
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,960
and it just follows
the same trajectory, no matter what,
361
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000
where we disagree.
362
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,760
It seems to escalate
and then she leaves
363
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,600
and then that's where it's left.
364
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,760
Hmm.
365
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,560
Veronica, how would you describe
the way you guys communicate?
366
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,960
I feel like when I...
367
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:56,200
When we talk, he sort of will take
jabs at me, he's kind of baiting me.
368
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,000
He'll make comments to me like,
369
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,840
"Oh, you think you're pretty smart,
don't you?"
370
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:07,440
I'm just shut down
almost immediately.
371
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:15,040
You know, I'll say, "You said that
the thing was red, but it's blue,"
372
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,280
like, for example
373
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,960
and then, instead of talking about
the fact that the thing is blue,
374
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:24,880
we go on this whole tangent about
how my emotions are out of control
375
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,120
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
and we talk about literally nothing
376
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,680
and I'm, like, by the end of it,
I've literally lost my mind.
377
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:37,560
I'm, like, "I don't (BLEEP) know
what's going on here!" Like...
378
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,880
I'm, like, "Goodbye.
I'm leaving the room."
379
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,800
And I've just got to go.
380
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,080
Like, I've gotta go
381
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,040
because no matter how many times
I say "How do we resolve it,
382
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:53,920
"what do you need from me, what can
I do," it doesn't end well for me.
383
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,120
And I feel completely blindsided
384
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,720
by this, like, whole
amazing, beautiful persona
385
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,440
you're putting on
with the whole group.
386
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,560
I'm, like, "Look at this man.
Who is this?"
387
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:12,200
Eliot, as I'm watching you listen...
ELIOT: Mmm.
388
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,560
..to Veronica's story here,
you're pulling a lot of faces.
389
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,200
Story's a good way to put it.
390
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,320
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
391
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,280
Do you believe that you have been
baiting her,
392
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,680
have been insulting her?
393
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,280
There's just so many things
just now that she said
394
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,040
that are just blatant lies.
395
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,760
Like, I've categorically...
(SIGHS) Oh, god.
396
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,080
..never said to you
"You think you're pretty smart."
397
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,160
(SCOFFS)
Like, for you to say that...
398
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,880
Like, this is what I'm talking
about. It's on camera.
399
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,440
Yeah, I know.
It's on camera.
400
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,280
That's why I'm confident
to say that I didn't say it.
401
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,120
(LAUGHS) Oh, my god!
This is so wild!
402
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,200
(LAUGHS)
403
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,320
For you just say that,
"Oh, you think you're pretty smart,"
404
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,400
to me is wild.
405
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,880
Like, I know exactly what I say.
406
00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:01,200
So, for you to say that I bait you,
it's just like...
407
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,240
You're clearly the one
that's doing the baiting.
408
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,480
What?
409
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,320
Why would I lie about that?
410
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,080
There's a lot of things
that make me ask that question.
411
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:17,080
Is it surprising to you
that when we talk in public
412
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,520
that people do tend to see
my side of things?
413
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,160
I'm not asking for anyone else's
opinion on our relationship...
414
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,280
Well, sometimes it's worth it
if we're disagreeing on something
415
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,880
to get some sort of objective truth,
416
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,760
because you say one thing,
I say another.
417
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,920
People see the whole story.
418
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,160
Well, what do people see?
419
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,440
You were this cool chick
420
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,080
and everyone I think
can validate that as well.
421
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,640
But then you come here,
you sit at the dinner party,
422
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,320
you sit in that chair and you're,
like, a totally different person.
423
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,040
And you say things
and you're, like...
424
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,360
"What are you saying?"
425
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,240
It's not making sense to us and I'm
sure it's not making sense to Eliot.
426
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,760
So it's like
we actually don't know you.
427
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,920
This is why no-one
can believe a word you're saying.
428
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,240
JOHN: Rhi, you were with Eliot
this week.
429
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,880
What was your experience like
with him?
430
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,120
RHI: Yeah, look, Eliot and I,
431
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,280
well, we actually hadn't said more
than "Hi, how are you," I think,
432
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,960
so I felt like I was getting to know
Eliot from scratch.
433
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,440
In saying that,
434
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,320
Veronica and I have been friends
throughout this entire experiment,
435
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,600
so obviously I know
Veronica's views on everything.
436
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:39,200
But, yeah, look,
I had a great time with Eliot.
437
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,080
He bought me fruit because he knows
I'm into health and fitness,
438
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:49,280
he taught me a card game which I was
very bad at for quite some time
439
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,560
and finally got good at it.
440
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,800
She beat me in the end.
441
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,520
I did, the third round.
(LAUGHS)
442
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,880
We listened to music,
we got to know each other.
443
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,800
It was an easy three days.
And I enjoyed them.
444
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,600
VERONICA: Sounds good,
those three days.
445
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,000
He's never taught me any card games.
(LAUGHS)
446
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,560
I've offered to play cards with you
multiple times.
447
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,880
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
448
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,120
Like, you know that I'm into games
and stuff.
449
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,720
You have never asked me
if I want to play card games.
450
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,360
(AWHINA SIGHS)
451
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,440
OK. That's weird that I've suddenly
started liking card games...
452
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,760
when Rhi came around.
453
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,520
I don't... We've never had
this conversation
454
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,040
about you liking card games.
455
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,920
The whole retreat,
I was playing chess and...
456
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,200
Connect Four.
457
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,800
..Connect Four,
playing with everybody.
458
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,400
ADRIAN: That's why it's hard
to believe you, V.
459
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,960
Why wouldn't you offer
to play with me in the house?
460
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,680
Well, I have.
I'm saying that I have.
461
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,080
You've not done that in the house!
462
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,360
TEEJAY: Jeez.
463
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:56,280
This is what... Like, it just
takes me completely by surprise.
464
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,680
AWHINA: Have you wanted
to play with him?
465
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,920
ADRIAN: Yeah, have you given him
the chance?
466
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,320
Have you been there long enough?
467
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,360
Oh, where's the truth?
468
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,600
JOHN: I've just spent
the last several minutes
469
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,240
hearing all sorts of back-and-forth.
470
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:19,040
Frankly, I've got no idea
what the hell is going on.
471
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,520
But what I do know
472
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,880
is that somebody over there
473
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,480
is lying.
474
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,920
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
475
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,600
JOHN: What I do know
476
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,080
is that somebody over there
477
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,560
is lying.
478
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,280
Someone is not telling the truth.
479
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,400
It's like the two of you
are living in different realities...
480
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,560
ELIOT: Mmm.
481
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,520
..because one person says it's black
and the other one says it's white.
482
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,760
Yeah.
483
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,760
And I'm sure the group finds this
the same as well.
484
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,520
That is essentially
the only consistent thing
485
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,600
about the two of you,
that you disagree a lot.
486
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,800
What I've noticed with you two
is that, particularly Veronica,
487
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,280
when you're addressing Eliot,
488
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:37,760
there seems to be a disdain in
your voice, like the respect is gone.
489
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:45,680
In life, I just say it how it is
and I'm blunt.
490
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,680
I just gotta say, like, ever since
that first dinner party,
491
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,440
it's felt like she hates my guts...
492
00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,080
with little moments where...
of kindness in between.
493
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,760
Hates your guts?
Hates my guts.
494
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,440
That's a very strong thing to say.
Yeah.
495
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:07,880
Is it the tone or...
496
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,960
The tone,
the content of what she says.
497
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,240
Everything aligns perfectly
498
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,640
to be something that someone
that wouldn't like me would say.
499
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,360
I mean, I've got to ask you,
Veronica, do you hate his guts?
500
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,840
No.
501
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,160
No-one else talks to me like that.
502
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,880
People that literally
screamed at me across the table
503
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,640
at the first dinner party,
I'm, like, mates with.
504
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,240
I can extend the longest
olive branch and it's not enough.
505
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,920
It's impossible
to try to reconcile with you.
506
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,880
It's... It's exhausting.
507
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,520
Um, I don't hate you...
508
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,680
despite what you might think.
509
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,680
And I really did try,
510
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,120
so I'm sorry that you feel that way.
511
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,720
Um... Yeah, that...
512
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,080
That felt like you did hate me,
with the way you said that.
513
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:09,760
(SIGHS)
514
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,320
Yeah.
515
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,960
Alright, let's go to the decision.
Stay or leave?
516
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:19,240
And we're gonna go with you first,
Eliot.
517
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,880
We tried to make it work
and I feel like it really didn't,
518
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,880
so I've written leave.
519
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,480
But I feel like I can leave
520
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,920
knowing that I really did give it
my best shot.
521
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,440
Veronica, for you?
522
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,200
I can't believe
that it's taken this point for us
523
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,840
to come up with something
that we actually agree on.
524
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,600
Mmm.
(LAUGHS)
525
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,680
Yeah, look,
we're very different people
526
00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:00,280
and I don't think that there was
really hope for this
527
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,680
eventuating into anything more,
so, yeah, I've written leave.
528
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,720
(SOLEMN MUSIC)
529
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,320
Well, when two people say leave,
530
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,840
obviously that means
it's pretty much done and dusted.
531
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:20,400
We've loved having you
in this experiment. It was different.
532
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,800
And, look, one thing that I wanted to
say to you, Eliot,
533
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,200
was that, you know,
when we first met,
534
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,520
it didn't work out with Lauren and...
Mmm.
535
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,320
..you and I had a sit-down...
Yeah.
536
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,280
It was pretty tense,
pretty combative...
537
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,040
It was not too bad.
..but it needed to happen.
538
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,800
Yeah, yeah.
539
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:44,480
And when we invited you back,
we had our concerns.
540
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:49,160
Is this a guy that could learn?
Could he pivot?
541
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,640
Could he break patterns?
We weren't sure.
542
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:58,280
But I want to commend you
for coming in a second time,
543
00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,680
facing the music,
544
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,440
because they were not in your corner.
545
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,520
Now, the fact that you didn't
work out with Veronica,
546
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,200
that's relationships.
547
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,480
But what we wanted to see
was a different Eliot
548
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:19,960
and we are thrilled at the progress
and the self-development.
549
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,280
Thank you.
Those are really kind words.
550
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,240
Just finally, what do you take away
from this experiment?
551
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,560
You can never judge a book
by its cover.
552
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:37,320
Like, it takes time
to really see all sides of a person
553
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,240
and so you can't have
too many preferences.
554
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,040
My goodness. I never thought
I'd ever hear you say that, Eliot.
555
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,680
(LAUGHS)
That is a breakthrough.
556
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,080
It is. Yep.
557
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,520
And for you too,
558
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,440
you've got a chance to do it
differently in the future,
559
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,880
so good luck with that.
560
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,560
Thank you.
Thank you.
561
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,000
(APPLAUSE)
You can go back to the group.
562
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,160
Alright, our next couple
up on the couch...
563
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,400
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
564
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,360
..Jacqui and Ryan.
565
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,960
RYAN: Hey.
(APPLAUSE)
566
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,960
Here they come.
ALESSANDRA: Hello, guys.
567
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,240
MEL: Hello.
How are we?
568
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,520
Yeah, good. Sit down.
JACQUI: Thank you.
569
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,080
Oooh.
570
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,680
Hi.
571
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,560
Well, I think we're gonna get
straight into this.
572
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:30,080
Feedback week, Ryan,
how did it land for you
573
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,960
and did it change your view
of the relationship
574
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,400
or did you learn anything new?
575
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:42,600
The feedback letter
that Jacqui wrote for me,
576
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,680
there's definitely aspects of that
letter that I need to take on board
577
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,920
and I'm willing to do so.
578
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,080
So, on the other side of that,
579
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,520
it was a bit of
a character assassination.
580
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,480
I actually felt kind of on trial
for being myself.
581
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,840
I did feel quite attacked by her.
582
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,000
She brought up
a lot of things like masculinity,
583
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,960
about ego, about gender roles.
584
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,840
Sometimes I feel like we're in
a bit of a university debate.
585
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,640
Like, she came back in
after the task and said,
586
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:23,920
"Ryan, how do you feel about being
a stay-at-home dad?"
587
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,440
And...
588
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,040
His response was... (GASPS)
589
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,680
"I am offended that you would even
ask that question."
590
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,040
No, no.
591
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,840
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
592
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,200
You were offended
I asked the question.
593
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,240
I know how you feel about it.
594
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,960
I'm sorry, but I just don't...
I don't want that
595
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,200
because I've got
so many other important things
596
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,000
that I want to do with my life.
597
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,800
I feel like
because Ryan is closed off
598
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,160
on certain issues like parenting...
599
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,000
I do need to be more open.
600
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,920
..and his goals
and dreams and ambitions...
601
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,600
there's no room for me
602
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,560
because I need equal opportunity
in my relationship.
603
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,160
If I get an opportunity
604
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,720
where I can go to New York
for six months and work,
605
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,800
I want to be able
to take that opportunity.
606
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:17,840
If I'm in a coma...
607
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,240
I need to know that my husband's
gonna step up to the plate.
608
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,680
His way of thinking is, like,
"It's my way."
609
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,000
And on every single thing,
we have an iss...
610
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:40,520
Like, everything. It started with
the temperature, the couch...
611
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,440
Oh...
..what we are eating for dinner.
612
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,240
Jacqui!
(LAUGHTER)
613
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,520
..and now it's become, like,
parenting.
614
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,720
It's, like, his way and then
I have to fight for my needs...
615
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,280
That's not true.
..to be considered.
616
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,680
That is not true at all.
It is, though.
617
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:55,720
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
618
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,520
I'm talking from the heart and
things that are important to me
619
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,680
and I feel like I'm trapped
and I've got no way out
620
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,600
and I just feel like
you're not hearing me.
621
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,400
Pressure on me do something
that you don't want to...
622
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:07,840
No, you don't have to do anything.
623
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,480
You just have to be open
to considering
624
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,400
being a stay-at-home dad.
625
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,640
I cannot be with someone
who won't support me.
626
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,480
It's a non-negotiable.
627
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,440
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
628
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:20,720
This is an absolute deal breaker
for me.
629
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,720
Pressure on me to do something
that I don't want to do...
630
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,720
No, you don't have to do anything.
631
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,320
You just have to be open
to considering
632
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,400
being a stay-at-home dad.
633
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,720
I cannot be with someone
who won't support me.
634
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,600
It's a non-negotiable.
635
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,080
This is an absolute deal breaker
for me.
636
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:53,040
MEL: Ryan, again, having an openness
637
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,200
to where your life, you know,
could potentially take you
638
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,640
is, I think,
what Jacqui's asking for here...
639
00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:02,720
not for you to say "Right now,
I'm gonna give up my career
640
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,480
"and be the stay-at-home dad."
641
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,720
But I think she just needs to hear
642
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,080
that you have some flexibility
in thought
643
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,400
and some openness to maybe
do things a little differently.
644
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,880
OK. Yep.
I fully understand what you mean.
645
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,480
Yes, I will...I will definitely
give it more consideration
646
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,400
because I want you to...
Yeah.
647
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,040
..I want you to feel as if that I am
taking this seriously.
648
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,720
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
649
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,880
I raised these things
'cause I want us to work out,
650
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,040
I want to give us the opportunity
to work through these issues
651
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,960
because another lot of them
are really important to me
652
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,800
or they're gonna be deal-breakers.
653
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,040
Feedback's a gift.
654
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,160
I so wholeheartedly believe that.
655
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,520
And my letter
was full of, like, you know...
656
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,120
Can I be...
..it was, like, you know...
657
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:52,880
Can I be honest about something?
658
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,000
Every line,
I had the solution under it.
659
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:00,560
Things that you bring up sometimes
I feel are judgemental.
660
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:06,200
With the letter, I did feel like
it was reducing my character.
661
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,240
That was the energy I got from it.
662
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,480
Sometimes I do feel on trial
for being myself.
663
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,240
You know, you came into this saying
you have huge expectations,
664
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,400
you've got very high standards.
665
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:16,840
I feel inadequate sometimes.
666
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,920
I feel like I don't measure up.
667
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:27,440
(SIGHS)
668
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:29,840
Yeah.
669
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,920
Like, sometimes my mannerisms,
670
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,920
sometimes my ways of thinking
just don't...
671
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,520
(SIGHS)
It's OK.
672
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:39,960
It's OK.
673
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,840
It's OK.
JAMIE: Aw.
674
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,560
It's OK.
675
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,200
JOHN: I do like this side of Ryan...
676
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,440
and tonight, he's actually being
quite vulnerable with his feelings
677
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,960
in a way which probably
we haven't quite heard before.
678
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,520
Yeah.
Mmm.
679
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,680
I guess what I wanted to say to you,
Jacqui, is that, you know,
680
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,160
if your man is saying at times
"I feel like I don't measure up,"
681
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,520
it's very important to hear that.
682
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,800
Actually, you know what, she did
make a good point in her letter.
683
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,280
She said there's strength
in vulnerability.
684
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:23,880
Oh.
685
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,480
That's one thing that rang true
for me as well,
686
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,640
'cause I do struggle with that,
you know.
687
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,200
Yeah.
688
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,760
I've had to be the self-serving,
really tough exterior...
689
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,400
just manage everything on my own,
from the finances and the career,
690
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,200
believe it or not, all the way
to, like, adopting a dog
691
00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:44,280
and just building my own life.
692
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,080
Yeah, like, I do struggle with that.
I do.
693
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,960
I am very aware
I do have very high standards.
694
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,480
Like, I said that
right from the beginning.
695
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,920
And literally I feel like this man
696
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,560
who is a completely different man
today
697
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,120
than the man who I married
on day one...
698
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,040
like, he is Mr Bachelor right now.
699
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:08,720
He's cooking me eggs now because
he heard Jeff cooked me eggs.
700
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,840
Like...
(LAUGHTER)
701
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,320
My gosh.
TEEJAY: For god's sakes, Jeff!
702
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:16,480
RYAN: I've gotta take a page
where it's due. You know, like...
703
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:17,640
The point is, I am...
704
00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:20,040
I'm learning how to show up more
and, like, I'm taking feedback.
705
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:23,960
Alright, we're gonna go
to the decision.
706
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,840
Let's start with you, Jacqui.
707
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,480
I've said stay 'cause I do think
that Ryan will show up for me.
708
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,200
And I'll be showing up for him
as well.
709
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,440
So, stay.
Good.
710
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:33,520
Yeah.
Good, good, good.
711
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,040
Ryan, for you, stay or leave?
712
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,640
That letter just kind of knocked me
for six. It did.
713
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:44,800
And then I was wondering, like,
714
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,840
"Why would I want to be
with someone
715
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,280
"who has those distorted views
of me?"
716
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,040
But we were able to process things,
717
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,840
so let's see if that continues.
718
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,600
Good. Good, good, good, good.
(APPLAUSE)
719
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,040
I like it. I like the vulnerability.
720
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:09,240
I like you having what are very
important conversations.
721
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,280
Mmm.
722
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,760
Good stuff, guys. Off you go.
Thank you very much.
723
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:13,800
Thank you so much.
Thanks, guys.
724
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,920
MEL: Well done, guys.
(APPLAUSE)
725
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,920
Our next couple up on the couch...
726
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,000
Beth and Teejay.
727
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,480
(APPLAUSE)
728
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,160
JOHN: Hey, you two.
TEEJAY: How you going?
729
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,520
MEL: Well, we're doing well,
730
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,320
but we're very curious about
how you guys are going.
731
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:38,840
BETH: Um...
732
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:44,320
Um, yeah, we obviously did
the partner swap
733
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,440
and we did the letter.
734
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:53,320
Since that letter,
I shared that I felt the reason
735
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,880
maybe me and Teejay
aren't intimate yet
736
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,000
is because maybe he's not
attracted to me like I am to him.
737
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,600
It's not something
I'd shared with him yet
738
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,840
'cause I felt too embarrassed
to ask that question...
739
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,320
in case I didn't like the answer.
740
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,880
I think I told myself
from the get-go
741
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,040
that maybe I wouldn't be good enough
for Teejay...
742
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,040
and then,
because the intimacy is lacking,
743
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,920
I instantly blame myself
744
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,160
and think maybe it's because
I'm not attractive enough
745
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:30,440
that he doesn't want to do
those things.
746
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,040
Can I just check
that I'm on the right track here?
747
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,160
Yeah.
748
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:39,960
So, you were in a sexual relationship
and then that's now off the table?
749
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,320
Labelling it
as a "sexual relationship"
750
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,120
probably isn't the right terminology
for it.
751
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,760
We were intimate once and then...
752
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,440
So you had sex...
COUPLE: Yep.
753
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,320
..and you haven't had it since.
TEEJAY: Correct. Yeah.
754
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,600
Right.
755
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:52,800
ALESSANDRA: Why would you say,
Teejay,
756
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,800
that sexual intimacy
and, like, physical intimacy
757
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,480
hasn't progressed for you two?
758
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,440
I genuinely believe
it's an emotional connection thing.
759
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,120
Didn't want this relationship
to feel like
760
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,240
it was just
a sexual-based relationship.
761
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,520
In the past, I probably have rushed
intimate connections
762
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,480
and neglected the emotional
and that's probably why
763
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,200
I haven't had a successful
relationship in the past.
764
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,080
That's really what I want to focus
on, is building that connection.
765
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,960
I really want to have,
like, our souls intertwining
766
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,760
before moving back into
the intimate side of things.
767
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,840
Beth, I wonder, do you feel
that you need your souls intertwine
768
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,280
in order to have sex
with one another?
769
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,640
For me, no.
770
00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:37,280
To have an actual
lasting relationship, absolutely.
771
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:42,040
I did not come here
just to sleep with someone.
772
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:45,840
I came here for a relationship.
I want the deeper connection.
773
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,120
Because intimacy does feel
so much better with someone
774
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,000
when you have those feelings.
775
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:56,800
MEL: Teejay, where are your feelings
at at the moment towards Beth?
776
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,440
I thoroughly enjoy my time
with Beth.
777
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,080
We get along so well
and it's awesome.
778
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,320
Like, I feel so light
when I'm around her.
779
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:04,720
We're always laughing,
always smiling.
780
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,000
And I thought that Beth and I
were on the same page
781
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:08,440
about where we were at,
782
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,040
but when she mentioned
that she didn't think
783
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,640
that I was still
physically attracted to her,
784
00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,920
I feel like maybe we weren't
on the same page.
785
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,240
Well, are you?
786
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,800
Am I physically attracted to Beth?
Absolutely.
787
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,840
Mmm.
Absolutely.
788
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,360
ALESSANDRA: Did you do anything
during the week, Teejay,
789
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,120
to show her that you desired her?
790
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:34,280
Probably not from, like, I didn't
try initiate anything in bed
791
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:35,360
or anything like that.
792
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,440
Doesn't have to be in bed.
Yep.
793
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,160
But for her to feel desired, it's not
just "Here's a nice cup of coffee."
794
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:45,440
Are you making out?
795
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,960
I wouldn't say we're making out.
We kiss.
796
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:49,960
I'm not often sticking my tongue
down her throat...
797
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,080
Well, maybe make out!
It's very high school, no?
798
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:54,080
Yeah.
It's not even.
799
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:54,920
I mean...
Yeah.
800
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,400
I'm not talking about
necessarily going all out
801
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,960
with the whips and chains...
Of course.
802
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:03,280
..but something where she feels,
"Oh, he, like, likes me."
803
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:04,600
Yep.
804
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,840
MEL: Alright, well, we're gonna go to
a decision, you guys.
805
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:12,000
We're gonna start with you, Beth.
806
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,280
I'm not done yet, so I'm staying.
807
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,720
Excellent.
(APPLAUSE)
808
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:19,560
And to you, Teejay.
809
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:21,240
I do want to keep learning more
about you
810
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,000
and I want to keep learning more
about us and where we can go,
811
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,800
so I wrote the same word - stay.
812
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,960
Brilliant. Good stuff.
(APPLAUSE)
813
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,360
Thank you so much.
Thanks, guys.
814
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,760
Thanks, guys.
Thank you. Thanks.
815
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,520
(APPLAUSE)
816
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,760
BETH: I feel good
after that couch session.
817
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,880
He said he's attracted to me
and I know it sounds stupid
818
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,200
but I guess it was just
the validation that I needed.
819
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,440
I've been beating myself up about it
and feeling really bad.
820
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,040
And at the end of the day,
this is new for me.
821
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,360
I've never had a boyfriend before,
ever.
822
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,120
This is all new
and I need to give myself a break.
823
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,200
NARRATOR: Next...
824
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,320
There seems to be
a sensitivity chip missing.
825
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:58,600
..Paul crosses the line.
826
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,920
JOHN: Paul,
you're really missing the point
827
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,520
and you're lacking
emotional intelligence.
828
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,520
And later...
829
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,240
JAMIE: I feel like
the person I've fallen in love with,
830
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,480
like, doesn't exist.
831
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:12,840
..is it the end of the road
for Jamie and Dave?
832
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,880
I need to know how the hell
you're going to convince me
833
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,520
that this hasn't been
a fake relationship.
834
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,640
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
835
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:29,560
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
836
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,600
Our next couple up on the couch...
837
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:36,800
Rhi and Jeff.
838
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,160
(BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS)
(APPLAUSE)
839
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,080
JEFF: Hey, guys.
ALESSANDRA: Hello.
840
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,680
MEL: Hello.
JOHN: Rhi and Jeff.
841
00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:48,320
(RHI LAUGHS)
842
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,440
How are you guys after feedback week?
843
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,240
Not too bad.
The partner swap was OK.
844
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,080
I feel like Eliot and I
had a great time.
845
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:02,560
But it just made me realise,
like, how great we do have it.
846
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:06,480
Yeah. I agree with that.
Like, I had a good time with Jacqui.
847
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,720
Had some awkward moments,
but it was good. It was a challenge.
848
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,320
(LAUGHTER)
849
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,920
Yeah, it made me realise
how much I missed Rhi
850
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,720
and I couldn't wait
to see her again.
851
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,680
(LAUGHTER)
852
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:26,800
Yeah. Like, by day three, I was
really, really ready to go home.
853
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:27,880
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
854
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,200
So you missed him? You missed Jeff?
I really did, yeah.
855
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,840
It just made me really grateful
for our relationship.
856
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,600
It was, like,
I definitely am all in.
857
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,320
And I did say in my letter,
858
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,320
like, I came here to find
my forever person
859
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:47,160
and I wholeheartedly hope
that it's Jeff.
860
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:56,440
MEL: Wow.
861
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,520
That's big.
Yeah.
862
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,320
ALESSANDRA: That's so great to hear.
Yeah.
863
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,360
Is it hot in here?
(LAUGHTER)
864
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:10,320
Jeff, do you think about life
outside of the experiment with Rhi
865
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,320
and what that's gonna look like?
866
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,000
Oh, definitely, yeah.
867
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,040
I'm actually not worried about
life outside the experiment
868
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:17,680
at all, really.
869
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,080
Our relationship's growing
stronger every single day
870
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,000
and it is becoming really special
for me
871
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,280
and, yeah, keen to see
what the future holds.
872
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:26,960
ALESSANDRA: I love that.
MEL: Yeah.
873
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,240
ALESSANDRA: We're gonna go to
the decision, you guys.
874
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,160
Perfect.
Sure.
875
00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:31,760
I don't think we're gonna be
too surprised.
876
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,200
(LAUGHTER)
JOHN: What are they gonna do?
877
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:35,960
ALESSANDRA: Suspense!
We'll start with you, Jeff.
878
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,120
(LAUGHTER)
879
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,480
Yeah, I'm gonna stay.
MEL: Oh, lovely.
880
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:41,880
ALESSANDRA: Miss Rhi?
Yep.
881
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,120
Short and sweet.
882
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,800
I'm happy and I would like to stay
as well.
883
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:46,800
Yay.
(APPLAUSE)
884
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,600
ALESSANDRA: Excellent.
MEL: Very nice.
885
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,760
Well done.
Thanks for your time.
886
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:52,760
Well done, you guys.
Thank you.
887
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,480
Thank you. (LAUGHS)
888
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,520
MAN: Jeffrey.
OTHERS: Jeffrey.
889
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:03,760
Our next couple up on the couch...
890
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,720
(TENSE MUSIC)
891
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,920
..Carina and Paul.
892
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,680
PAUL: Eh!
(APPLAUSE)
893
00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:13,000
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
894
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,720
OK.
So, Paul, tell me...
895
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,400
Yes.
..what's going on?
896
00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:25,960
Feedback week probably didn't go
as expected.
897
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:29,680
The honesty letter
that I had to write
898
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:31,160
raised a whole bunch of concerns.
899
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:35,800
What was in your letter
that brought concerns?
900
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:41,560
So, I spoke about, you know,
sort of...
901
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,160
I said that sometimes
she come across as...
902
00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:48,160
I feel like she comes across
as a bit of a snob.
903
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,160
I know I should have
probably not used that word.
904
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,720
Is your thought
that Carina is a snob?
905
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:02,120
Well, see, that's the thing,
906
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:06,200
because I feel like sometimes she
comes across as being very judgy.
907
00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:09,400
She judges people very quickly.
908
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:10,480
For what?
909
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,760
Help us understand
what kind of comment was made.
910
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,720
(TENSE MUSIC)
911
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,080
So, OK...
912
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:28,360
So, when I told Carina,
"Oh, look, I know Awhina..."
913
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,080
because I used to
basically date her twin sister...
914
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:41,040
so, Carina felt a bit weird about
the partner swap, which is fine.
915
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:42,480
Like, which is fair enough.
916
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,240
But then she made that
comment saying,
917
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,680
"Oh, like, I didn't think you would
go for that kind of calibre."
918
00:48:46,720 --> 00:48:49,560
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
919
00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:00,560
So, obviously, that comment
sort of triggered me a little bit.
920
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,840
You know, like, I personally
would never judge someone
921
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:04,920
for where they're from,
for where they live, how they look,
922
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,240
which is why I decided to raise it
into the letter.
923
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,080
Carina, how do you feel
about all this?
924
00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:22,840
Obviously I'm not proud
of the comment that I made.
925
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,280
The comment was not cool.
926
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:28,120
I was very uncomfortable
partner-swapping.
927
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:31,480
I did it in insecurities,
defence mechanism.
928
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:35,920
That comment wasn't to be
out there to the universe
929
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:37,840
and that's what's happened now.
930
00:49:40,240 --> 00:49:44,280
Awhina was incredible
and she fully accepted my apology.
931
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:49,840
But I feel a bit blindsided.
932
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,880
I thought, like, "He's my husband,
it's a safe space to open up"
933
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,600
and it's...
934
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:02,480
I mean, hearing all these things
from his letter
935
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,760
was the last thing
I was expecting from him.
936
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:09,120
I felt like I just had, like,
a punch to the heart.
937
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:12,960
Now I'm..
definitely got my guard up.
938
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,320
I feel like I can't fully trust him
right now.
939
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:22,880
Paul, why did you feel
it was important for you
940
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,440
to tell Awhina
941
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:28,720
that Carina at some point had made
a comment about Awhina's sister?
942
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:32,000
Again, she was being very judgy
of situations or people,
943
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,520
so I just wanted to have
Awhina's, you know, point of view
944
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,640
because I guess that was
the whole point of the task,
945
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:38,760
to have someone else's...
946
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,600
Well, yes, but if you had a bunch
of different examples
947
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:41,920
over the last couple of months,
948
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:43,480
why choose that one?
949
00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:47,480
I just got caught up in the task.
950
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,040
The task was saying
well, just raise concerns.
951
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,920
I just wrote stuff...
952
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,080
Did you consider
Awhina's feelings about that,
953
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:54,120
how she might feel?
954
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,920
Well, no, because they were
concerns, so I just wanted to...
955
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:57,920
Why did you tell Awhina that at all?
956
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:04,680
You passed on an insult to Awhina
about her sister.
957
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:09,320
So there seems to be
a sensitivity chip missing.
958
00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:13,240
'Cause, number one,
it was in confidence.
959
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,320
It's not considering
the repercussions
960
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:19,080
between Awhina and Carina,
961
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,880
yet also, it is something that
you clearly had been holding onto
962
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,120
for quite a while
and had not brought up yourself.
963
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,680
(SIGHS)
964
00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:31,880
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
965
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:35,880
Do you realise
the gravity of that choice?
966
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:38,600
(SIGHS)
967
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:52,920
I just... I just... I'm just
feeling, yeah, a bit hurt
968
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,480
because like, I just...I thought
that task was to raise concerns
969
00:51:55,560 --> 00:52:00,120
and I just feel like
not a single one of them
970
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:06,600
were even taken seriously
or even slightly validated...
971
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:10,120
JOHN: Paul, I've got to jump in
and support Alessandra here
972
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:14,440
because essentially
you're really missing the point
973
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:16,840
and you're lacking
emotional intelligence.
974
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,040
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
975
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:21,360
You're not reading the room.
976
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:34,080
Paul, I've got to jump in
and support Alessandra here
977
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,000
because
you're really missing the point
978
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,360
and you're lacking
emotional intelligence.
979
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,440
You're not reading the room.
980
00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:56,520
For you to go to Awhina
without telling Carina about this
981
00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:02,600
just smacks of essentially thinking
about yourself and nobody else.
982
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:09,600
You say things like that,
you throw grenades out there,
983
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:13,080
it's gonna blow you up,
it's gonna blow your relationship up.
984
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,360
ALESSANDRA: The whole thing
could've been avoided
985
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,800
if you simply had spoken to your wife
986
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,440
about what was bothering you
about her comment...
987
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,840
but instead of taking accountability,
988
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,600
you're acting like you're shocked
989
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,320
that Carina feels blindsided
and upset.
990
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,000
I know.
991
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:43,960
What is concerning
is the examples that you give
992
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:47,400
break confidence and break trust,
993
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:51,360
so the way you go about it
ends up skewing the focus
994
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,680
from where you wanted to be.
995
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,560
Yeah.
996
00:53:58,240 --> 00:53:59,840
(SIGHS) Sorry.
997
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,400
I didn't mean to.
998
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:09,080
Carina, how has this made you feel
about your relationship with Paul?
999
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:15,760
Yeah, well, the number one thing
that I want
1000
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:17,320
is a family with my partner
1001
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,720
and to feel comfortable in going
to that person in a safe haven...
1002
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,480
to open up and talk about things
1003
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,640
that you wouldn't maybe say
to other people.
1004
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,240
I feel like I can't fully trust him
right now.
1005
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:36,080
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1006
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:38,760
Are you now questioning
1007
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,560
whether or not you and Paul
are truly compatible as a couple?
1008
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,480
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1009
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,000
A little bit. Yeah.
1010
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,920
(PAUL SIGHS)
1011
00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:07,000
I didn't expect that. (EXHALES)
1012
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,960
Sorry, it's a bit of a hard pill
to swallow.
1013
00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:24,280
To say that now she's questioning
if we are compatible or not...
1014
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,280
it hurts to hear that.
1015
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,840
Well, trust is a big one, though.
1016
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,280
Yep.
1017
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:38,560
Sorry.
1018
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,600
(SOLEMN MUSIC)
1019
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:47,240
I think we need to go
to the decision.
1020
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:48,880
We'll start with you, Paul.
1021
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,480
I know it looks like we're probably
not in the best place right now.
1022
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,320
I... I have made a mistake.
1023
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,280
I understand, like,
there's obviously a lot
1024
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,120
that I need to learn about myself
1025
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:04,280
but like I said,
I really do like Carina.
1026
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,120
I like the way she is.
1027
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,000
She has shown me
all those vulnerable...
1028
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:13,760
and that sensitivity that she can
have and so, yeah, I want to stay.
1029
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,280
Excellent. Very nice.
1030
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:17,280
Carina?
1031
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,480
I mean, obviously hearing everything
1032
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,360
and going through
what we've been going through,
1033
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,640
we are trying to still understand
one another
1034
00:56:24,720 --> 00:56:27,080
and we still care for one
another, really like one another,
1035
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:31,760
really, really like one another,
so, yeah, I want to stay as well...
1036
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:32,600
Yay!
Yeah.
1037
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:33,640
Excellent.
(APPLAUSE)
1038
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:35,640
..and figure this out, work on it.
1039
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,840
I do know that you guys have
a strong relationship
1040
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:45,080
and really like each other.
1041
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,200
It's been evident throughout.
1042
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:51,360
It's a shame to think that you've
been harbouring these thoughts
1043
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,480
and these concerns
and not feel safe enough to share.
1044
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:58,600
Communication is so important
in relationships
1045
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:01,400
because we want to be able to have
the deep, difficult conversations...
1046
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,560
and the one thing that has to be
in any love relationship
1047
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,280
for it to succeed
1048
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:11,440
is the trust that you can tell
your partner your secrets
1049
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:15,360
and they will not be used
against you.
1050
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,520
Well, good luck, you guys, this week.
1051
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,440
I hope you have a really good week.
Thank you so much.
1052
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:22,920
COUPLE: Thank you.
Go back to the couch.
1053
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,840
(APPLAUSE)
MEL: Well done, you guys.
1054
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,000
JOHN: Alright.
1055
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,680
Our final couple up on the couch...
1056
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:37,920
Jamie and Dave.
1057
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,600
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(APPLAUSE)
1058
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:44,320
MAN: Good luck, guys.
1059
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:48,680
(JAMIE EXHALES)
1060
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,600
Well, I know for a fact
that we've got plenty to talk about.
1061
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,680
We saw a very different couple
at the dinner party last night.
1062
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:04,360
Frankly, we're even seeing it
right now.
1063
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:07,840
Yep.
1064
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:12,120
I mean, you two were going
very well together.
1065
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,520
So, what happened?
1066
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,320
I feel like our relationship,
you've seen, obviously,
1067
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:24,600
we've had a really good partnership
and the union is very evident,
1068
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:28,320
but there is an issue
within intimacy.
1069
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:32,600
The intimacy itself, when it's
happening, great, no complaints.
1070
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:37,800
Dave just doesn't initiate
any intimacy.
1071
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,120
I feel like I'm constantly pursuing
my husband.
1072
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,640
Right.
1073
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,560
I've voiced this many times.
1074
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:52,520
He seems to understand and wants to
make changes, but he doesn't.
1075
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:57,280
So, I put this into the letter
about intimacy.
1076
00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:59,600
Adrian did give some feedback.
1077
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:02,560
He was, like,
"Look, this might not be the case,
1078
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:03,960
"but from a male perspective,
1079
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:05,480
"it could be, like,
an attraction thing."
1080
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,960
Did Dave then reassure you
when you brought this up?
1081
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:15,280
No.
1082
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:21,280
There was no sense of reassurance
or validation
1083
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,760
or even, like, emotion.
1084
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:24,960
You weren't, like,
"Jamie, of course.
1085
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,240
"I can't believe you think that,"
1086
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:28,960
or, like, "I think you're gorgeous.
I'm so sorry I haven't shown that."
1087
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:32,280
And that was so alarming.
1088
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,600
I left that conversation not really
knowing where his feelings are,
1089
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,320
still thinking I don't think
he's attracted to me
1090
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,920
and I feel so confused.
1091
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:53,360
Dave, what's your take
on all of this?
1092
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,160
(SIGHS)
1093
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:02,040
Yeah, I think, like...
1094
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:05,920
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1095
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,400
Yeah, I think I was trying to
protect myself.
1096
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:14,400
My walls went up 'cause I was,
like...it sounded like
1097
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,560
nothing I've done in the past
matters right now but this.
1098
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:19,840
I sort of got really upset at Jamie
1099
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:23,440
because, I don't know, not only does
she say that she loves me,
1100
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:24,960
she shows me it all the time.
1101
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,040
We know.
1102
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,040
But I'm not there yet
and it's scary for me.
1103
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,720
And when it's brought up like that,
like, I do...
1104
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,680
I don't know, I felt like
I wasn't good enough
1105
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,080
and I was, like,
"I'm putting my walls up
1106
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:38,360
"because I'm gonna get hurt..."
1107
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:41,160
Do you see how it's back to
you're not feeling good enough?
1108
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:42,640
But, like, in the moment,
your wife is thinking...
1109
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,000
Yeah, I know.
..she's not attractive enough...
1110
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:46,480
That's what I struggle with.
1111
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,200
That's when I needed you to show up
for me and you didn't.
1112
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:55,360
Even this morning, I was waiting
for you to come in to hug me,
1113
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,640
to kiss me,
to be, like, "I'm so sorry."
1114
01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,520
You came in this morning
and you said
1115
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,760
"I had a problem with
how you spoke to me last night."
1116
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:03,600
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1117
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,400
What?
1118
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,520
Well, there was some things
last night that hurt me.
1119
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,440
I was waiting for you to come in,
to hug me, to kiss me,
1120
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:24,160
to be, like, "I'm so sorry."
1121
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,080
You came in this morning
and you said,
1122
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:28,280
"I had a problem with
how you spoke to me last night."
1123
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:35,920
What?
1124
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,040
Well, there was some things
last night that hurt me.
1125
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:44,280
MEL: Dave, I've gotta be honest
with you,
1126
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:46,800
we were watching you guys
really closely last night
1127
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,520
and we were quite surprised
1128
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:53,960
because, Dave, you've sat here
with us on this couch five times now
1129
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:58,400
and talked about the way this
relationship has been developing.
1130
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:01,280
You know, you've practically danced
to the couch...
1131
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:04,240
Yeah.
..you've been so happy.
1132
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:11,000
Yet last night, watching you and
seeing the pain that Jamie was in,
1133
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:15,840
you were detached, you were cold,
you didn't validate her at all...
1134
01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:16,760
Yeah.
1135
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,240
..when you could see that she was
clearly struggling.
1136
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:22,880
It appeared as though
Jamie was out on her own, on a limb,
1137
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:26,480
and you were just allowing that.
1138
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:31,280
It was this completely different side
of you that we'd never seen before.
1139
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:32,760
Yeah.
1140
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:38,520
So, when you're behaving like that,
can you now understand why
1141
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:42,440
Jamie is starting to question
whether you have feelings for her?
1142
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,920
Yeah, totally.
1143
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:57,280
It hurt me because I'm someone
who constantly compliments Dave
1144
01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:00,360
because I want my partner
to feel desired,
1145
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:01,680
I want them to feel amazing,
1146
01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:04,280
I want them to feel like
the best-looking thing out.
1147
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:07,960
I buy you nice gifts,
I build you up, I initiate sex,
1148
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:13,400
but the one thing I've asked
is to feel pursued by him.
1149
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,480
And he hasn't done those things.
1150
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:25,640
ALESSANDRA: Dave,
why have you not pursued?
1151
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:29,000
I think that's the question
that Jamie has for you
1152
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,000
and that's really the one
that I have also.
1153
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:33,720
Yeah. I'm trying to understand
what's going on.
1154
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:35,800
I care about Jamie a lot.
She does pursue me.
1155
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:37,760
I really like it when she does.
1156
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:39,960
It's not like I don't like
having sex with her.
1157
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:41,480
It's not that at all.
1158
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:43,360
I like it when she does that.
Yay.
1159
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:45,840
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1160
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:48,920
Why have you not pursued?
1161
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:53,920
Yeah, I just... I don't know.
I feel like it's...
1162
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:59,800
Jamie's sort of taken charge
since the start of this relationship
1163
01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:01,080
and maybe I've slipped into
a pattern.
1164
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:07,280
And to be honest, I don't believe he
has those romantic feelings for me
1165
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,760
because he hasn't shown up
in that aspect at all.
1166
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,960
I show up in those ways
all the time.
1167
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:17,480
Do you have romantic feelings
for Jamie, Dave?
1168
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,560
Yeah, I think I do. It's just...
1169
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:33,320
You think you do?
Well, I have.
1170
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,080
You think? You're guessing?
1171
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:38,960
(SIGHS) It's...
1172
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,440
You think you do
or you know you do?
1173
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:50,600
I do, and that's what...
1174
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:54,200
I think this is something
that I really need to work on.
1175
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:58,120
(SOLEMN MUSIC)
1176
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:04,560
I don't know what to say.
1177
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:11,280
Right now, I'm thinking, like,
"Has my whole relationship been,
1178
01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:12,840
"like, a figment
of my imagination?"
1179
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,160
I feel like the person I've fallen
in love with, like, doesn't exist.
1180
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:25,120
I question genuineness. I really do.
1181
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:28,640
I really do. You're not showing me
anything that proves me otherwise.
1182
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:31,600
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1183
01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:41,040
Dave, I need to know how the hell
you're going to convince me
1184
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:42,720
that this hasn't been
a fake relationship.
1185
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:47,920
So...
1186
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:53,480
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1187
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,440
That was a good start.
1188
01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:08,200
(SIGHS)
1189
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:16,080
JOHN: Hey, Dave, do you understand
the way you're behaving to this woman
1190
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:20,720
who has given you everything
over the past two months?
1191
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:23,440
Do you have any idea
what she's feeling?
1192
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:31,280
When a guy that she thinks
is 100% committed to her
1193
01:06:31,360 --> 01:06:36,800
suddenly turns up and is
disconnected, detached and uncaring,
1194
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,240
what do you think that does to her?
1195
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,720
Destroys her.
Give me more.
1196
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:43,840
How does she feel?
Heartbroken.
1197
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:45,320
Give me more.
1198
01:06:55,920 --> 01:07:02,080
We spent five couch sessions with you
thinking everything is going well.
1199
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:08,520
In three days, it looks like
you're on your way out.
1200
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:11,880
What happened?
1201
01:07:11,920 --> 01:07:14,040
You've got some explaining to do.
1202
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:18,960
And I don't understand it,
neither does she
1203
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:20,640
and neither does the whole group.
1204
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:24,040
Um...
1205
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:25,680
(SIGHS)
1206
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,000
(TENSE MUSIC)
1207
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:46,000
Dave, you've got some explaining
to do.
1208
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,440
Um... (SIGHS)
1209
01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:59,120
Mate, I just... I want to be
completely honest.
1210
01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:00,480
Like, this is...
1211
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:05,040
This one of the most
uncomfortable spots
1212
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:06,360
in a relationship for me.
1213
01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:12,160
When Jamie said that she loved me,
I got scared
1214
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:17,000
'cause I was worried that I'm not
gonna get there and, you know,
1215
01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:19,640
letting her down, letting this down,
1216
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:25,000
so I shut down
and I handled it wrong.
1217
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:29,240
That's not who I am
and I don't like that person,
1218
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:31,200
when I've been putting my walls up
1219
01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:35,120
and I'm not the caring person
I should be towards you.
1220
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:40,880
But I'm still here
and I do care about her.
1221
01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:45,600
Because this is real and, yes,
the romantic side, I struggle...
1222
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,000
I struggle showing you that.
1223
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:52,280
And, yes, there's things
that I should've worked harder on.
1224
01:08:52,320 --> 01:08:53,560
And I'm sorry.
1225
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:59,400
But she does make me feel special
and wanted and needed and seen.
1226
01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:02,160
She's one of the most amazing people
I've ever met
1227
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,800
and that's intimidating to lose.
1228
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:10,440
I have to figure out how to get
out of my own head at the moment
1229
01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:11,720
and start thinking more about Jamie.
1230
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,320
How fast do you think you need
to do that?
1231
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,160
By the time I get off this couch.
1232
01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:22,280
Because it's gonna fall
on your shoulders.
1233
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:25,200
(TENSE MUSIC)
1234
01:09:25,280 --> 01:09:28,840
We're gonna go to the decision.
Stay or leave?
1235
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:32,640
And we're gonna go with you
first, Dave.
1236
01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:36,040
Um...
1237
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:43,360
Yeah, I do apologise
for how I've acted
1238
01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:47,440
and the lack of awareness
around what was actually happening
1239
01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:48,720
and to your feelings.
1240
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:57,760
Um... But I want to stay
and work on them.
1241
01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:59,640
I like that.
(APPLAUSE)
1242
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:03,960
Jamie?
1243
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,800
(EXHALES)
Stay or leave?
1244
01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:11,000
This whole last couple of days
has thrown me for a loop
1245
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:16,160
and I'm so sick to death of crying
and feeling so...just shit.
1246
01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:18,200
That's all I can say, just shit.
1247
01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:22,680
I don't believe you right now
at all.
1248
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:25,720
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1249
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:34,880
But because I have put my absolute
back into this relationship,
1250
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:37,960
before I throw everything away,
1251
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:41,720
I will continue to see
how he's going to show up
1252
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:43,600
and humour him with another week.
1253
01:10:43,680 --> 01:10:46,120
(APPLAUSE)
(SIGHS)
1254
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:53,400
Alright, so you've both decided
to stay. Good.
1255
01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:54,760
That's the first hurdle.
1256
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:58,320
Dave, you're at a crossroads.
1257
01:10:58,400 --> 01:11:01,200
This is all about showing up
and stepping up.
1258
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,160
We can talk about fear
or your walls going up.
1259
01:11:04,240 --> 01:11:07,760
That's fine,
but frankly, it bores me.
1260
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:11,480
What we need to hear
is how you're gonna do it different.
1261
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:15,840
Get specific.
What are you gonna do this week?
1262
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:18,440
(TENSE MUSIC)
1263
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:20,280
Woo her.
1264
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:22,600
Which suggests romance.
Mmm.
1265
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:25,800
Have you got that in you?
I sure do, somewhere in there.
1266
01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:26,920
I'll get it.
1267
01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,800
Alright. Go back to the couch.
1268
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:33,200
(APPLAUSE)
1269
01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:37,760
Still a little bit unsure if Dave
does have those romantic feelings.
1270
01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:41,080
All I can ask is now he proves it.
1271
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:42,960
Show up.
1272
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,280
Romance me, homeboy. Do it.
1273
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:53,320
NARRATOR: Tomorrow night...
CARINA: Welcome to my humble abode!
1274
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:55,160
..it's homestays week...
1275
01:11:55,240 --> 01:11:56,920
Welcome.
Thank you.
1276
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,800
BETH: I'm home!
(CHEERING)
1277
01:11:59,880 --> 01:12:02,880
Over two big nights,
our couples get a taste
1278
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:07,680
of what their married lives might
look like outside the experiment.
1279
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:11,960
And for Paul,
it's a religious experience.
1280
01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:14,640
They're married,
but not in the eyes of the church.
1281
01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:18,240
When they come into the family home,
they need to be separated.
1282
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:25,440
Then...
1283
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:27,160
JACQUI: Your shoes are not allowed
on my bed.
1284
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:30,120
..it's Jacqui's house,
Jacqui's rules.
1285
01:12:30,160 --> 01:12:32,400
Jacqui is the most difficult person.
1286
01:12:32,440 --> 01:12:35,320
Jacqui asks the big question.
1287
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,760
To beard or not to beard?
1288
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,840
It's a beard, Jacqui!
1289
01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:44,040
So, are you falling in love
with Jamie?
1290
01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:47,560
Protective sisters demand answers.
1291
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:49,040
That's grim.
1292
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:03,760
Adrian once again faces off
with Awhina's twin sister.
1293
01:13:03,840 --> 01:13:07,360
I don't have a very good opinion of
Adrian or his family or his friends.
1294
01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:10,680
Why don't you go inside
so me and Adrian can have a chat?
1295
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,640
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1296
01:13:17,720 --> 01:13:20,680
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