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00:00:01,650 --> 00:00:04,919
# It seems today
that all you see #
2
00:00:04,986 --> 00:00:08,305
# Is violence in movies
and sex on TV #
3
00:00:08,373 --> 00:00:11,759
# But where are those
good old-fashioned values #
4
00:00:11,843 --> 00:00:14,728
# On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,813 --> 00:00:18,349
# Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,568
# Lucky there's a man
who positively can do #
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00:00:21,636 --> 00:00:23,170
# All the things that make us
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00:00:23,238 --> 00:00:24,588
# Laugh and cry
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00:00:24,656 --> 00:00:28,547
# He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! #
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00:00:28,648 --> 00:00:31,748
# Family Guy 10x14 #
Be Careful What You Fish For
Original Air Date on February 19, 2012
11
00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:35,249
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,686
Good evening. I'm Tom
Tucker bringing you news
13
00:00:37,687 --> 00:00:39,387
you heard four hours
ago on the Internet.
14
00:00:39,455 --> 00:00:41,656
Our top story: A mishap
in Quahog harbor today.
15
00:00:41,724 --> 00:00:43,158
That's right, Tom.
16
00:00:43,225 --> 00:00:44,592
A ferry carrying a shipment
17
00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:47,529
of brand-new Mercedes
Benzes from Germany
18
00:00:47,596 --> 00:00:49,764
crashed and sank just
a few miles off our coast.
19
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:52,334
Thus far, the cars
remain on the ocean floor
20
00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:54,703
as the Germans refuse
to clean up the disaster.
21
00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:56,371
The German
Environmental Minister
22
00:00:56,439 --> 00:00:57,972
called a press
conference to issue
23
00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,374
the following statement:
24
00:00:59,442 --> 00:01:02,227
I see nothing! I know nothing!
25
00:01:02,294 --> 00:01:03,829
Holy crap! Did you
hear that, Lois?
26
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,999
All them fancy cars out
there in the ocean, just
27
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:06,948
free for the taking?
28
00:01:06,949 --> 00:01:08,350
I'm gonna get me a Mercedes!
29
00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,869
Peter, that may be the
stupidest idea you've ever had.
30
00:01:10,936 --> 00:01:13,238
And you've had some
pretty stupid ones.
31
00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:14,472
Hi there. Peter Griffin.
32
00:01:14,524 --> 00:01:17,392
You know, a lot of us here
at Family Guy are, frankly,
33
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:20,144
sickened by the sorry state
of education in this country
34
00:01:20,196 --> 00:01:22,163
and how little
you people read anymore.
35
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,033
So, for this next cutaway,
we're gonna make you read it.
36
00:01:25,117 --> 00:01:26,484
That's right, you heard me.
37
00:01:26,535 --> 00:01:28,453
Do a little work
once in a while,
38
00:01:28,504 --> 00:01:29,704
instead of having
everything spoon-fed.
39
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,840
You want your yuks,
put in a little effort.
40
00:01:31,924 --> 00:01:32,957
All right, go ahead.
41
00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:53,662
Okay, that one might
have been more of a visual,
42
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:55,530
but you feel that feeling
you got right now?
43
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,416
That's satisfaction.
You just read something.
44
00:01:58,484 --> 00:02:00,818
And no one can take
that away from you.
45
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,120
Proud of you.
46
00:02:10,028 --> 00:02:11,496
Geez, you're a mess.
What is that?
47
00:02:11,547 --> 00:02:13,398
- It was finger-paint day.
- What the hell?
48
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,400
Why didn't they clean
you up before you left?
49
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,502
Brian, there's, like,
37 other kids in there.
50
00:02:17,553 --> 00:02:20,272
- One was in a drawer all day.
- Wow, seems like Lois would've
51
00:02:20,339 --> 00:02:22,274
checked that stuff out
before sending you.
52
00:02:22,341 --> 00:02:23,608
Yeah, you'd think so, right?
53
00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,360
I mean, it's clearly
not a place of business.
54
00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:26,895
It's someone's house.
55
00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:29,164
You know, half the time you
can hear someone showering.
56
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:32,016
I mean, you never see them, but
you can hear the shower going.
57
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,952
Really? That seems weird.
Yeah, and is it normal
58
00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:35,954
that Miss Emily tied
us all to the sink
59
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:38,206
while she went out to
return a birthday present?
60
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,624
No, that's not
normal at all.
61
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:40,959
You know, Stewie,
maybe I should
62
00:02:41,026 --> 00:02:42,527
come by tomorrow
and check things out.
63
00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:44,296
That teacher sounds
really irresponsible.
64
00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:46,047
She is. Adults are stupid.
65
00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:49,217
The world would be so much
better if it were run by babies.
66
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:51,303
Tonight on NBC... Shapes!
67
00:02:52,871 --> 00:02:54,589
And then... Colors!
68
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:58,209
Followed by
an all-new... Dad's Keys!
69
00:03:07,804 --> 00:03:09,589
Man, I can't wait
to get a Mercedes.
70
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,109
- Me, either.
- Yeah, it's gonna be sweet.
71
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,961
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
72
00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:18,196
What the hell is that?!
A sun hat.
73
00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,615
- No, no, no, no, no.
- What do you mean, no?
74
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,500
I'm protecting my face
and neck from the sun.
75
00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:23,702
Use sunscreen!
Y-You don't need
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00:03:23,769 --> 00:03:25,337
to put a circus
on your head.
77
00:03:25,404 --> 00:03:26,871
This is a ploy
for attention.
78
00:03:26,939 --> 00:03:28,139
Sunscreens are
bad for you.
79
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,541
The chemicals get
in your skin.
80
00:03:29,608 --> 00:03:31,359
Boy, you really want
to wear that hat.
81
00:03:31,427 --> 00:03:33,495
- That hat's coming off!
- No!
82
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:39,768
You guys are jerks!
83
00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:41,936
I can have my own identity
besides you two.
84
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:44,122
Not this way.
Not the hat way.
85
00:03:45,424 --> 00:03:48,009
Holy crap!
I think we got one!
86
00:03:50,112 --> 00:03:51,980
Aw, damn it!
It's just a dolphin.
87
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:53,031
Sorry,
88
00:03:53,098 --> 00:03:54,399
did I get in the way
of something?
89
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:55,817
No, it's all right.
We were just trying
90
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,319
to get some of them
sunken Mercedes.
91
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,821
Oh, yeah, there's a great big
pile of them down there.
92
00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:02,073
Me and my mates, right,
we was having a laugh
93
00:04:02,124 --> 00:04:04,275
sitting in of one of them,
pretending to be people.
94
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:05,960
You know, like, driving around
95
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:07,912
getting into incidents
with other motorists.
96
00:04:07,963 --> 00:04:10,298
Honk, honk. "Stay out
the way, you old bat!"
97
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,549
Asian.
98
00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:13,968
Not all Asians
are bad drivers.
99
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,120
No, no, not
all terrorists are Arab.
100
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,224
But, you know, they are, so...
101
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:20,642
Uh, well, I'm Peter,
102
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,711
and that's, uh, Joe,
and that's Quagmire.
103
00:04:22,778 --> 00:04:23,995
Name's Billy, Billy Finn.
104
00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:25,480
It's got "fin" in it.
105
00:04:25,564 --> 00:04:26,848
I didn't pick it.
106
00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:28,299
Luck of the draw.
107
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,353
Say, you want me to try
and get you one of those cars
108
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:32,637
from down there, yeah?
109
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,672
You would do that?!
110
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:35,840
Well, I could try.
111
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:38,343
Here, let me
give it a go.
112
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:39,461
He seems nice.
113
00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:40,912
- He does.
- Yeah.
114
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:45,183
So, uh, what do you have
planned for the summer?
115
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:48,586
I'm sure he'll
be right back.
116
00:04:48,654 --> 00:04:51,623
Sorry, mate, all I could get
was this hood ornament.
117
00:04:51,674 --> 00:04:53,158
This is just as good!
118
00:04:53,225 --> 00:04:55,160
Thank you so much!
Hey, you know,
119
00:04:55,227 --> 00:04:57,429
if there's ever anything
I could do for you...
120
00:04:57,496 --> 00:04:58,930
Actually, you could
do something.
121
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,882
You could eat only
dolphin-safe tuna.
122
00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:03,468
Wait, is that the brand
that costs five cents more?
123
00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:04,836
No, I can't do that.
124
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,021
Things ain't so good
in America right now,
125
00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:08,940
which is why
we're all so fat.
126
00:05:13,378 --> 00:05:16,000
What did I tell you, Brian?
It's a nightmare in here.
127
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,499
Oh, my God!
128
00:05:26,992 --> 00:05:29,377
- Oh, what happened to that kid?
- He fell off a stool
129
00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:30,812
trying to turn off
Maury Povich.
130
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,430
This is awful!
Where's your teacher?
131
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,416
Probably out back.
132
00:05:36,535 --> 00:05:38,269
Excuse me, are you Miss Emily?
133
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:40,271
Yeah. Hi. Who are you?
134
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:41,773
Uh, Brian.
135
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,541
Brian Steel.
136
00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:45,410
I was just
dropping Stewie off.
137
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,862
Oh, yeah! I should
probably go back in there,
138
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,264
see how everyone's
doing, I guess.
139
00:05:49,331 --> 00:05:50,365
Ah, they're fine.
140
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,767
In fact, I see Stewie
reading a book.
141
00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:56,204
Scratch-and-sniff
Lindsay Lohan Goes Jogging.
142
00:05:58,574 --> 00:06:00,325
Oh, God! That's terrible!
143
00:06:00,392 --> 00:06:01,860
Oh, here's a pop-up book.
144
00:06:01,927 --> 00:06:03,995
Tommy Lee Goes Boating.
145
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,235
Move, Lois! You're on
the hood ornament's pillow.
146
00:06:10,302 --> 00:06:12,453
Peter, put that away.
It's time for bed.
147
00:06:12,521 --> 00:06:14,555
W-Wait, hang on, Lois,
before I go to bed,
148
00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:15,507
I just got
to do one thing.
149
00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:18,664
Hello?
150
00:06:18,689 --> 00:06:20,659
Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt,
it's me, Peter.
151
00:06:20,846 --> 00:06:23,414
You remember how you said
I'd never amount to nothing?
152
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:25,984
Is that a Mercedes?
153
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,652
Peter, hang up the phone.
154
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:30,838
My God, who could be at
the door at this hour?
155
00:06:30,905 --> 00:06:32,807
I don't know, but this late,
it's got to be bad news.
156
00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:34,642
Everyone knows you
always get bad news
157
00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:35,877
in the middle of the night.
158
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,298
- Wake up, wake up, wake up!
- Huh? What?
159
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:42,133
- You have cancer!
- What?!
160
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,467
Yeah. I thought
you should know.
161
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:44,903
Okay, go back to sleep.
162
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,304
Wait, I have questions.
163
00:06:46,972 --> 00:06:49,040
It's very late.
164
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,277
Oh, hello. This
is the right house.
165
00:06:52,344 --> 00:06:53,511
That's good, then.
166
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:54,812
What the hell?
167
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,648
It's me, Billy. Billy Finn.
168
00:06:56,715 --> 00:06:59,684
Just wanted to take you up
on your nice offer from earlier.
169
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,020
What... I-I don't... What offer?
170
00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:03,571
You know, the bit about
171
00:07:03,639 --> 00:07:05,740
"If there's ever
anything I can do,"
172
00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,443
so, yeah...
- Oh.
173
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,179
Yeah, thought I might
make a go of it on land.
174
00:07:11,247 --> 00:07:13,114
So, "anything you
can ever do."
175
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,483
Here I am. Thank you.
176
00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:17,318
Squid pro quo.
177
00:07:17,386 --> 00:07:19,721
Thank you for not
being "shellfish."
178
00:07:19,788 --> 00:07:21,890
I just said that
for the "halibut."
179
00:07:23,357 --> 00:07:25,026
Fish puns.
180
00:07:25,094 --> 00:07:26,628
Ah. Oh, cod.
181
00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:30,298
Oh, God, come on.
182
00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:31,966
Let me in.
183
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,835
Peter, who is it?
Is Meg dead?
184
00:07:33,903 --> 00:07:36,237
It's that dolphin--
I think he wants to crash here.
185
00:07:36,305 --> 00:07:38,039
And I have no info on Meg.
186
00:07:38,107 --> 00:07:39,207
He wants to what?
187
00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:40,508
I-I'm not sure that...
188
00:07:40,576 --> 00:07:41,843
I brought a gift.
189
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:44,579
Put it to your ear.
You can hear the ocean.
190
00:07:44,647 --> 00:07:46,214
# Caribbean Queen
191
00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:48,683
# Now we're sharing...
It's broken or something.
192
00:07:48,751 --> 00:07:50,718
All I hear is...
- It's Billy Ocean!
193
00:07:52,855 --> 00:07:55,056
Oh, God! I got
loads more.
194
00:08:05,431 --> 00:08:08,500
So, Billy, I, uh, I hope
the couch was all right?
195
00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:09,906
Yeah, a lot better
than the floor.
196
00:08:09,973 --> 00:08:12,475
And I should know, 'cause
I went down on the floor,
197
00:08:12,543 --> 00:08:14,698
thinking it had to be a
lot better than the couch.
198
00:08:14,699 --> 00:08:17,034
Okay, well,
breakfast is ready.
199
00:08:17,101 --> 00:08:18,302
Oh. Uh...
200
00:08:18,369 --> 00:08:20,270
Is everything all right?
201
00:08:20,338 --> 00:08:22,806
Yeah. Well, it's just...
202
00:08:22,874 --> 00:08:25,140
would you mind tossing
it up in the air for me?
203
00:08:25,265 --> 00:08:27,410
- Well, I don't know...
- Lois, he is our guest.
204
00:08:27,478 --> 00:08:29,212
Toss it in the air.
205
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,086
Uh, I'm used to a
little applause, so...
206
00:08:38,189 --> 00:08:39,156
All right, all right.
207
00:08:39,223 --> 00:08:42,890
Not bad. Afternoon crowd.
Lightly attended.
208
00:08:42,961 --> 00:08:44,928
So, Billy, how long will
you be staying with us?
209
00:08:44,996 --> 00:08:46,563
Are you kidding?
As long as he wants!
210
00:08:46,631 --> 00:08:48,966
Yay! We live with a dolphin!
211
00:08:50,535 --> 00:08:53,503
Anyway, I'm off
to read Meg's diary.
212
00:08:53,571 --> 00:08:55,221
Only been here one night,
but I get the sense
213
00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:56,931
we all dislike Meg.
214
00:08:57,058 --> 00:09:00,727
Um, I'm a dolphin--
smart, intuitive.
215
00:09:00,795 --> 00:09:04,348
Also, Peter told me
in the hall. Ha.
216
00:09:04,415 --> 00:09:07,067
Peter, I'm not so sure about
Billy staying here with us.
217
00:09:07,135 --> 00:09:08,647
What are you talking about?
He's hilarious.
218
00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:09,386
I don't know.
219
00:09:09,387 --> 00:09:11,722
Listen, just leave it to me.
I'm great with animals.
220
00:09:11,789 --> 00:09:13,306
Remember when I lived
with those ants?
221
00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:17,177
We're working on something.
222
00:09:22,183 --> 00:09:24,851
Yes? May I help you?
223
00:09:24,919 --> 00:09:26,252
Hey, put him down!
224
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,138
Who are you?
I-I can't stop him!
225
00:09:28,222 --> 00:09:29,356
Can anyone stop him?
226
00:09:29,424 --> 00:09:31,191
No? Well, he's gone.
227
00:09:31,259 --> 00:09:33,060
Hey, Stewie.
How's it going?
228
00:09:33,111 --> 00:09:36,013
- Brian, what are you doing here?
- Came by to check on my pal.
229
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,381
- Where's, uh, Miss Emily?
- I haven't seen her yet today.
230
00:09:38,449 --> 00:09:40,984
She gave me the keys to open
up when she left yesterday.
231
00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:42,586
I thought you said you
were gonna talk to her.
232
00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:44,921
I did, a-and she's doing
her best, you know?
233
00:09:44,989 --> 00:09:46,356
She's got a lot
on her plate.
234
00:09:46,424 --> 00:09:47,991
She's got school.
She's got work.
235
00:09:48,059 --> 00:09:49,259
This is her work!
236
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,594
Oh, hi, Brian.
237
00:09:50,661 --> 00:09:53,230
I thought you had a busy day
at your legal practice.
238
00:09:53,297 --> 00:09:54,865
Oh...
239
00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:57,500
Hey, Emily! Yeah, I had
some time between cases.
240
00:09:57,568 --> 00:09:59,002
I thought I'd see
how you were doing.
241
00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:00,837
That's so nice of you!
242
00:10:00,905 --> 00:10:02,472
Let me just put
these bags away
243
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:05,842
and throw some saltines
in the yard for the kids.
244
00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:07,363
You're disgusting.
245
00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:09,444
Hey, I'm sorry,
but Miss Emily and I
246
00:10:09,546 --> 00:10:11,681
have a connection, which
is totally unexpected.
247
00:10:11,749 --> 00:10:13,423
And by the way,
I actually think she's
248
00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:14,384
doing a pretty good job.
249
00:10:14,385 --> 00:10:16,286
She's teaching you
guys independence.
250
00:10:16,353 --> 00:10:17,220
We're one!
251
00:10:17,288 --> 00:10:19,222
Independence means we die!
252
00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:21,574
Do you like this?
I just got it.
253
00:10:21,642 --> 00:10:23,143
Say you like it, or
she's gonna spend
254
00:10:23,211 --> 00:10:25,212
the rest of the afternoon
out returning that stuff.
255
00:10:25,279 --> 00:10:26,930
Looks great!
256
00:10:26,998 --> 00:10:28,915
Wow, you really
fill these things up.
257
00:10:28,983 --> 00:10:31,951
Hey, do you think maybe you'd
want to hang out sometime?
258
00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:33,420
What, you mean like
a movie or something?
259
00:10:33,488 --> 00:10:34,921
Yeah, or-or maybe lunch?
260
00:10:34,989 --> 00:10:37,491
I had a bad experience last
time I went to the movies.
261
00:10:37,558 --> 00:10:39,126
We're good friends,
aren't we, Milo?
262
00:10:39,193 --> 00:10:40,994
We're best friends, Otis.
263
00:10:41,062 --> 00:10:42,362
No! No!
264
00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:44,231
I reject the premise of this!
265
00:10:48,102 --> 00:10:50,153
Okay, who's ready for
Family Movie Night?
266
00:10:50,221 --> 00:10:51,688
All right, tonight's selection:
267
00:10:51,756 --> 00:10:54,391
Tim Burton's
Alice in Wonderland in 3D.
268
00:10:54,459 --> 00:10:56,676
Now let's all sit down
and take our headache.
269
00:10:56,727 --> 00:10:57,677
Or...
270
00:10:57,728 --> 00:10:59,045
or-or...
271
00:10:59,113 --> 00:11:01,231
we could watch...
The Cove,
272
00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:02,449
The Cove?
273
00:11:02,517 --> 00:11:04,217
Isn't that that
horrible documentary
274
00:11:04,285 --> 00:11:05,418
where they kill
all the fish?
275
00:11:05,486 --> 00:11:07,170
Dolphins, actually.
276
00:11:07,238 --> 00:11:08,738
Well, yeah, but this one
was in the video store
277
00:11:08,806 --> 00:11:10,073
under "Ethan's Picks."
278
00:11:10,141 --> 00:11:11,274
Come on, Peter.
279
00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:12,943
Billy's our guest.
280
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:14,778
All right,
we'll watch The Cove.
281
00:11:18,249 --> 00:11:19,149
Oh, my God!
282
00:11:19,217 --> 00:11:20,233
I don't want to see this!
283
00:11:20,301 --> 00:11:21,585
I know you can't tell this,
284
00:11:21,669 --> 00:11:22,936
but the one who's about
to get her throat cut,
285
00:11:23,004 --> 00:11:25,222
she's sorta hot.
286
00:11:28,476 --> 00:11:31,094
Wh-Wh-What are you doing?
287
00:11:31,162 --> 00:11:33,029
What do you think I'm doing?
You're stoolin'?
288
00:11:33,097 --> 00:11:34,631
What, you gotta
do that in here?
289
00:11:34,699 --> 00:11:36,700
Well, where else am I
supposed to do it?
290
00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:38,985
I can't just do it
on the floor, can I?
291
00:11:39,053 --> 00:11:41,065
You'd be all, like,
"Ooh, who left this coil
292
00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:42,490
of rope on the floor?"
293
00:11:42,557 --> 00:11:44,524
It's very... comes out
very ropey is my point.
294
00:11:44,592 --> 00:11:46,526
- But I gotta take a bath.
- Go on, then.
295
00:11:46,594 --> 00:11:47,627
We're both men.
296
00:11:47,695 --> 00:11:50,230
Well... all right,
I guess.
297
00:11:50,281 --> 00:11:51,631
There you go!
298
00:11:52,399 --> 00:11:53,967
Look at that!
299
00:11:54,035 --> 00:11:55,135
What is...
300
00:11:55,203 --> 00:11:56,736
Whoa! Solar eclipse.
301
00:11:56,804 --> 00:11:57,971
Blocking the sun.
302
00:11:58,039 --> 00:12:00,473
Do not look directly at it.
303
00:12:00,541 --> 00:12:01,574
Wh-Wha-What the hell?
304
00:12:01,626 --> 00:12:02,692
What're you doin'?
305
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:03,960
I'm just making
a comment.
306
00:12:04,028 --> 00:12:05,846
Um, need to
know somethin'.
307
00:12:05,913 --> 00:12:08,548
Do you hear the word
"morbidly" a lot?
308
00:12:08,616 --> 00:12:10,283
- This is not fair.
- O-O-Okay.
309
00:12:10,351 --> 00:12:11,584
And, again, I'm gonna
ask one more question,
310
00:12:11,636 --> 00:12:12,869
and don't take this
the wrong way,
311
00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:15,084
but have you actually
got a penis?
312
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,022
Yes.
313
00:12:16,023 --> 00:12:17,390
Where-where is it?
Where is it?
314
00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:19,159
It's in there.
Are you sure?
315
00:12:19,227 --> 00:12:20,894
So it's like
Mr. Snuffleupagus, is it?
316
00:12:20,962 --> 00:12:22,428
Aw, the hell with this.
317
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,431
Lois, get the ruler,
we're measuring again.
318
00:12:24,498 --> 00:12:26,733
And this time, I decide
where the base is.
319
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,787
So then I'm reading
the funnies,
320
00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:32,856
and right before I get
to the last panel,
321
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:34,958
Billy blurts out,
he goes, he goes,
322
00:12:35,026 --> 00:12:37,978
"You know, those firemen showed
up to get a cat out of the tree,
323
00:12:38,045 --> 00:12:40,080
but it turns out it's really
Marmaduke up there."
324
00:12:40,147 --> 00:12:41,781
It ruined the whole damn thing!
325
00:12:41,849 --> 00:12:45,051
Peter, in Billy's defense,
the strip is called Marmaduke,
326
00:12:45,119 --> 00:12:47,254
and Marmaduke had not yet
made an appearance.
327
00:12:47,321 --> 00:12:48,855
You probably should've
seen that coming.
328
00:12:48,923 --> 00:12:50,457
I tell ya, he was fun at first,
329
00:12:50,524 --> 00:12:53,176
but now I'm not sure I can take
much more of him living here.
330
00:12:53,244 --> 00:12:55,712
Well, Peter, you've more than
paid back your debt to him.
331
00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:56,913
I mean, what did he do?
332
00:12:56,981 --> 00:12:58,248
He-he got you a hood ornament.
333
00:12:58,316 --> 00:13:00,250
If you ask me,
it's time for him to go.
334
00:13:00,318 --> 00:13:01,384
Yeah, you're right.
335
00:13:01,452 --> 00:13:02,786
Plus, the sooner
we get him out of here,
336
00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:05,689
the sooner I can get back
to my cocaine and dollhouses.
337
00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:17,918
Dinner is served.
338
00:13:19,987 --> 00:13:21,254
Get out!
339
00:13:24,491 --> 00:13:25,725
Stewie, what's going on?
340
00:13:25,793 --> 00:13:27,010
Aren't you supposed
to be at day care?
341
00:13:27,078 --> 00:13:29,496
- I escaped.
- What happened to your arm?
342
00:13:29,563 --> 00:13:31,097
I finally stood up for all of us
343
00:13:31,165 --> 00:13:33,033
and told Miss Emily we should
be given a proper lunch
344
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,101
and not just what's left over
from her Baja Fresh.
345
00:13:35,169 --> 00:13:36,986
And she said
I shouldn't raise my voice
346
00:13:37,054 --> 00:13:38,672
and pulled me really hard
into the other room,
347
00:13:38,739 --> 00:13:40,607
and my arm came
out of its socket.
348
00:13:40,675 --> 00:13:42,008
Are you sure?
349
00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:44,110
Are you sure you didn't
just sleep on it funny?
350
00:13:44,178 --> 00:13:45,895
Does this look like
I slept on it funny?!
351
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:46,947
I'm gonna tell Mom!
352
00:13:47,014 --> 00:13:47,897
Mom!
353
00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:49,299
You are not going anywhere.
354
00:13:49,367 --> 00:13:51,451
I finally have a date
with Miss Emily tomorrow,
355
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:53,253
and I'm not gonna let you
or anybody else get in my way
356
00:13:53,321 --> 00:13:55,221
until I have seen
every inch of her naked.
357
00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:56,589
Do you even hear yourself?!
358
00:13:56,657 --> 00:13:58,358
And what am I supposed
to do about my arm?!
359
00:13:58,409 --> 00:13:59,526
I'll just pop it back in.
360
00:13:59,593 --> 00:14:02,510
You most certainly will not!
I need to go to a hospital.
361
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,381
Brian, is Stewie
in there with you?
362
00:14:04,465 --> 00:14:05,732
Mom!
363
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,567
We're in here, Lois.
He's napping.
364
00:14:07,635 --> 00:14:09,702
Relax. I'm gonna
pop it back in.
365
00:14:14,859 --> 00:14:17,427
Get in there! C-Come on!
Hold still, Stewie!
366
00:14:23,084 --> 00:14:25,151
I'm not saying
I like pain.
367
00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:27,487
But I'm not saying
I don't like it either.
368
00:14:31,191 --> 00:14:34,661
Hey, uh, listen, Billy, it's
been fun having you stay here,
369
00:14:34,729 --> 00:14:37,597
but we really need to talk about
making some new arrangements.
370
00:14:37,665 --> 00:14:38,798
Oh, do we?
371
00:14:38,866 --> 00:14:40,600
Is this because there's
some kind of problem
372
00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:41,634
with the hood ornament?
373
00:14:41,702 --> 00:14:42,635
No, that's... it's...
374
00:14:42,703 --> 00:14:44,321
that's... it's-it's fine.
375
00:14:44,388 --> 00:14:45,955
Oh, good, good.
That's good to hear,
376
00:14:46,023 --> 00:14:48,375
'cause it dawned on me
that the only thing better than
377
00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:51,094
you having one of them would
be you having two of them.
378
00:14:51,162 --> 00:14:53,063
Don't you say those things.
379
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:54,831
Don't you say those things
unless they're true.
380
00:14:54,899 --> 00:14:56,299
Yeah, be quite a thing
381
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:57,934
for you to have two of them,
wouldn't it?
382
00:14:58,002 --> 00:14:59,202
Would it ever!
383
00:15:03,391 --> 00:15:04,274
Wonderful!
384
00:15:04,358 --> 00:15:05,308
The best!
385
00:15:05,393 --> 00:15:06,526
Very fancy!
386
00:15:09,296 --> 00:15:12,265
Now, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
387
00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:13,266
Nothing, nothing.
388
00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:17,303
Tricia Takanawa?
389
00:15:17,371 --> 00:15:18,621
What are you doing here?
390
00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:21,591
Peter, I'm standing here
on your front porch,
391
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:24,694
hoping to kill that dolphin
with this harpoon.
392
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:38,154
So the thing about dolphin
lullabies is that they're all
393
00:15:38,221 --> 00:15:40,356
in the key of
"eee-eee"!
394
00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:43,225
"Eee"!
395
00:15:45,062 --> 00:15:46,195
That's loud.
396
00:15:46,263 --> 00:15:47,496
I get why
that's factual.
397
00:15:47,564 --> 00:15:48,698
I don't see
why it's funny.
398
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,084
Eh-eh! What the hell, man?!
399
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,053
Drink beer much?
400
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,856
I just learned that
"much" thing from the telly.
401
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:57,957
Hey, here's a question:
402
00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,759
When are you going
back to the ocean?
403
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:02,178
Yeah, I mean, don't you have
family back there?
404
00:16:02,245 --> 00:16:04,413
I used to, but not anymore.
405
00:16:04,481 --> 00:16:06,649
Um, the wife won't
have me back.
406
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:07,983
Threw me out, actually.
407
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,668
Well, maybe you
should talk to her.
408
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,671
Peter, believe me, if she'd take
me back, I'd go in a second.
409
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:16,375
But she won't, so as much
as I love her, moot point.
410
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,777
Moving on.
411
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,545
Uh...
412
00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:22,181
Well, gotta go
and drain the eel.
413
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,249
It's electric.
414
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,350
My penis.
415
00:16:26,536 --> 00:16:28,637
Hey, throw darts much?
416
00:16:30,507 --> 00:16:31,674
Boy, I see what
you're saying, Peter.
417
00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:32,808
Billy's annoying.
418
00:16:32,876 --> 00:16:34,293
Yeah, and P.S.,
419
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,595
that guy doesn't throw
darts much. He's new.
420
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:43,402
Peter, I thought you said you
were gonna ask Billy to leave.
421
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,271
He's still sleeping
on the couch out there.
422
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,639
I know, Lois, but I found out
423
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,407
he's only here
'cause his wife kicked him out.
424
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,927
So I figured out a way to kill
two birds with one stone.
425
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,763
Like this.
426
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,432
The key to that, Lois,
is big rock, small birds.
427
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,033
Oh, and I also figured out
428
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:00,302
how to achieve two goals
with one action.
429
00:17:00,370 --> 00:17:02,738
See, I'm gonna help Billy
get back together with his wife,
430
00:17:02,806 --> 00:17:04,740
and then he'll move out
and stop annoying us.
431
00:17:04,808 --> 00:17:06,041
How do you plan to do that?
432
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:06,976
Are you kidding?
433
00:17:07,044 --> 00:17:08,577
I'm great at getting
people back together.
434
00:17:08,645 --> 00:17:10,346
I even recorded a song about it.
435
00:17:10,414 --> 00:17:12,548
("Reunited" intro playing)
436
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:18,621
# Reunited
and it feels so good #
437
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:24,009
# Doin' someone
that you used to do #
438
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,962
# That's what
this song's about #
439
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:30,182
# You could find someone else
440
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,219
# But this
seems a little easier #
441
00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:36,188
# 'Cause you
already have their number #
442
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,556
# Yeah, yeah...
443
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,228
Hey, guys.
444
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,730
Everybody having
fun playing with...
445
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:46,282
What-what is that?
446
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,301
A piece of wood with a,
with a nail in it. Neat.
447
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:50,503
He can't hear you.
448
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,871
There was a kitchen
explosion today,
449
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,405
and half the kids are deaf.
450
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,257
- Oh, hi, Brian.
- Hey, Emily.
451
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,392
Wow, you look great.
452
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:57,560
You're ready to go?
453
00:17:57,627 --> 00:17:58,594
Yeah, one sec.
454
00:17:58,662 --> 00:17:59,829
I'm leaving, honey.
455
00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:01,497
Okay, babe, have fun.
456
00:18:01,565 --> 00:18:04,266
I'm probably just gonna take
a couple more showers.
457
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,568
Who-who was that?
458
00:18:05,635 --> 00:18:06,902
That's my boyfriend, Devin.
459
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:08,003
Are you ready for lunch?
460
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,892
11-25,
Code 6, 105 North Avenue...
461
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,459
What you did
to these kids...
462
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:17,730
There is a special place
in hell for people like you.
463
00:18:21,384 --> 00:18:23,853
Come on, let's go home.
464
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,688
Man, when she
gets to jail,
465
00:18:25,755 --> 00:18:27,523
she's gonna be
major lez-chow.
466
00:18:27,591 --> 00:18:30,693
She sure is, Stewie.
She sure is.
467
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,148
I'm telling you, Peter,
you're wasting your time.
468
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:37,700
She's never taking me back.
469
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,335
Well, you'll never
know until you try.
470
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,921
Hey, I brought this sack
of garbage from my home.
471
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,488
Where do I put this?
Just anywhere?
472
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,874
Yeah. Anywhere.
473
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,261
Yay, people!
474
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,513
All right, here she comes.
475
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,681
Oh, hello, Joanne.
476
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:54,216
Billy?! What are
you doing here?
477
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,853
He's here because he loves you,
and he wants to patch things up.
478
00:18:57,938 --> 00:18:59,671
Hey, how come
you ain't got boobs?
479
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:01,307
You like a runner
or something?
480
00:19:01,358 --> 00:19:02,474
Who's this, then?
481
00:19:02,526 --> 00:19:04,193
He's just a friend,
trying to help.
482
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,345
Look, Billy,
I don't care
483
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:10,015
what you or your fat friend
here has to say, it's over.
484
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,035
Well, thanks
for trying.
485
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,904
I knew she wouldn't
listen to you, though.
486
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,872
Well, maybe so.
487
00:19:16,957 --> 00:19:19,959
But I know someone
she'll have to listen to.
488
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,493
Hey, gang,
I'm Aquaman.
489
00:19:21,545 --> 00:19:23,128
Get back together.
490
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,964
Boop-boop-boop-boop-
boop-boop-boop.
491
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,832
That's not Aquaman!
492
00:19:26,883 --> 00:19:28,334
Billy, what is going on?
493
00:19:28,385 --> 00:19:29,585
Let me answer that.
494
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,388
Look, Joanne, Billy had
nothing to do with this.
495
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,558
It was just a dumb plan my
buddies and I put together
496
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,709
because we know how
much Billy loves you.
497
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:39,678
And he misses you very much.
498
00:19:39,729 --> 00:19:41,730
Look, just give him
another chance.
499
00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:45,100
And if you won't do it
for me, do it for Fish Jesus.
500
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,152
- Do you have Fish Jesus?
- Of course.
501
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,888
He was nailed to a board
and hung in a man's study
502
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:52,358
as a novelty to
sing funny songs.
503
00:19:52,409 --> 00:19:54,577
Your god is a gag gift,
did you know that?
504
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:55,911
Would you excuse us?
505
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,398
Is it true, Billy?
506
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,749
Do you really miss me?
507
00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:02,585
Joanne, I am so sorry.
508
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,119
I promise
I'll do better.
509
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,121
You know what?
I had to live on the land
510
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,424
to learn there might
be a million fish in the sea,
511
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,459
but there's only one you.
512
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,328
Oh, Billy...
513
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,418
Aw, look at that.
514
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,604
That's nice.
515
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:24,340
Oh, cool, they're
already using my garbage!
516
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,730
Hey, Brian, thanks for helping
get rid of Miss Emily.
517
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:32,965
Although I've got to say,
518
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,967
my new preschool teacher
is even hotter.
519
00:20:35,035 --> 00:20:36,135
- Really?
- Yeah.
520
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,369
Let me know if you
want his number.
521
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:40,039
Oh, you!
522
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,473
Okay, now just
stay like this
523
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,459
and let Peter and Lois
finish their thing.
524
00:20:43,526 --> 00:20:45,628
Wow, Peter, you did
a really nice thing
525
00:20:45,695 --> 00:20:47,763
helping Billy get back
together with his wife.
526
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,522
Yeah, and the best part
is, he's out of the house
527
00:20:49,547 --> 00:20:50,747
and back in the ocean.
528
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,818
I guess everything
worked out for everybody.
529
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:58,123
Arr! 'Tis a mighty haul!
530
00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,675
- Hey.
- Oh.
531
00:20:59,743 --> 00:21:01,744
Yeah, it's me as Neptune.
532
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:06,303
== sync, corrected by elderman ==39002
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