Original subtitles

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Okay.

-Are you ready? -Yes.

Let's record, then!

Hello!

I'm Neslican Tay.

This is my first video.

So, I'm a little nervous.

I want to say a few things about myself.

How should I know...

...millions of people would watch the video I shot that day?

I just thought...

...it would be nice to tell how beautiful life is to a couple of people.

I didn't plan to be famous for fifteen minutes...

...like Andy Warhol has said.

I just wanted you to cherish every second of life.

Life showed me its most cruel face when I was 19.

This illness took my leg, yes.

It also taught me that I don't need two legs to stand on...

...my own feet, but hope.

Now, instead the leg I lost,

...I have millions of people who give me strength to survive.

People that I share my hope and struggle.

I'm Neslican Tay.

Not what I lived through, but my struggle is beautiful.

We spend our lives trying to catch up with things.

Life just slips away in front of our eyes.

That pain stuck in my leg that day was going to capture my whole life...

...and at the age of 18, I was about to learn that...

...living, even in its simplest form, was more precious than anything else.

Are you sure, Gülşen?

Will it do good?

Mom.

Wait a minute. What was it? Say it again.

Turmeric.

I'll mix it with honey. Okay.

Black cumin. I'll pestle it, right?

I want water! Why does nobody care?

Will we spread on her leg?

I don't know, when you say...

Every morning, before breakfast. Would it work?

Here my queen. Your water.

Thanks but I'm too young to be a queen.

"My princess" is enough.

You settled in the best place in the living room.

Food is for your taste.

You have the remote.

-Give me that remote. -Give me my remote.

You always have the remote. Let me have it today.

-Please! -No!

I'll turn it on.

When you had the mumps, you used me like a slave for twenty days.

Shame on you, Nesli!

It was twenty years ago.

Revenge is a dish best served cold, Nazlı.

I'll make you pay for the every second of that twenty days.

Could you please give me the remote?

You, prick!

-Nesli? -Nazlı!

Was it that hard?

Mom!

Nesli.

Just look at your face!

I've told you that I'll make you pay for every second.

You're an idiot! Idiot! I almost had a heart attack.

-Come here, the princess forgives you. -No.

-Come here! -I won't.

Could you come here please? I feel love just for once, come here!

Love birds? What's going on?

-Come here. -Shall I?

-Come. I'm enough for all of you. -There is no doubt about it.

You're enough for all of us.

The love of his sister.

Having a good family is...

...a blessing that one doesn't realize until something bad happens.

Maybe love is not a strong medicine that can heal wounds...

...but it's an effective painkiller that can make you forget your suffering.

God damn you!

-You! -What are you doing?

Stop, don't do that!

No!

RİZE ANATOLIAN HIGH SCHOOL

Uncle.

Let's put these in.

Thank you very much. I was starving.

Uncle, last time I wasn't excited this much.

-I have butterflies in my stomach. -Wait. Don't get stressed.

Relax, let it go.

Just like that.

Also, you'll take the exam. If you don't succeed?

We'll find you a rich husband. Don't worry.

-Fine, let's go home then. -Wait, you crazy!

I said "if." Have the exam. We'll see.

When will they open the door?

Uncle, it's open.

-Wait, wait. -Let me have those.

No.

Sorry, we have a problem. Could you excuse us?

Thanks.

-Come here. -I'm coming.

God!

My friend. This is my niece.

She has a problem with her leg. Can we use the elevator?

Sorry. There isn't an elevator in the school.

Is that so?

Wait, let me see.

Jump on my back.

I was your horse when you were small.

Don't be ridiculous. I have 30 kilos more now.

30 kilos are nothing for your uncle. I'm in shape.

-Are you sure? -Yes, jump on.

-I'm jumping. -In the name of God.

Hold on.

-Uncle, let's give up, let's go home. -Wait, I wasn't ready.

Look, your white horse is ready.

My princess is ready.

Just take this exam. Then we'll find a prince for you.

-In the name of God. -That's my uncle!

-God save us! -Uncle!

Excuse us, we have a problem!

We have a problem!

So sorry.

Last forty minutes, guys.

Use your time wisely. Don't waste it for one question.

Come on, just sleep!

It's over, forget about it. Don't think about it.

How could this happen?

I had just one day, just one opportunity.

I lost it.

Let me tell you something.

With your brains, you'll answer all questions next year.

Nazlı.

Could you treat me bad again?

-Treat you bad? -Yes.

When you treat me like that...

...I think I'm going to die.

Don't be ridiculous.

Besides, when have I treated you bad?

Since I was born, maybe?

No!

-I'll sleep a little. -Okay, sister.

Nesli.

Should we call dad?

He should know.

Otherwise he'll be angry at us.

Let's go Samsun tomorrow, first.

See what they will say. What kind of a treatment...

Then we'll call him.

Okay, sister.

2017 SAMSUN State Hospital

-Does it ache like this? -A little.

It's when I run mostly.

Sometimes I don't feel it.

Sometimes I can't even walk.

They said it's a muscle tear and gave me medicine...

...but it didn't work. We tried varicose socks.

I can't sleep at night, doctor.

Okay, lie down.

Do you have an uncomfortable feeling during the day?

How? Like burning?

I do.

Okay, you may sit.

Deniz, take Neslican to the operation room...

-...I'll be there. -Why? What happened?

I'll take a tissue to analyze.

Deniz will accompany you.

Will you take a tissue?

A small operation. Nothing to be afraid of, okay?

-Okay. -Send her family to my room.

The doctor is waiting for you.

My girl? What did he say? What happened?

-He said he'll take a tissue but... -Tissue? What tissue?

I don't know mom.

-Nazlı, go with your sister. -Okay.

-Open it. -Come in.

If you'll excuse us.

Doctor.

Why do you need to take a tissue?

Sit down, I'll explain.

Come, Kevser.

Yes. There is a mass in the previous MRI scan.

Yes, doctor.

Nesli does exercise...

...so they said there is embolism in her leg.

We need to do a biopsy in order to understand the type of the mass.

Biopsy?

Tell us what do you suspect.

It would be wrong to say anything at this point.

I need to see the biopsy...

...report in order to say if it's a benign...

...or a malignant mass.

-Sister. -Are you okay, lady?

Wait. Kevser, give her some water.

Calm down.

What kind of a mass is that, doctor? Is it bad?

-Is it cancer? -Don't be afraid.

Not every mass is a cancer.

See, sister?

It can be benign.

Right, doctor?

Maybe.

Like I said, I need to see the biopsy report to be sure.

You're a student, right? Which class?

-I took a gap year. -What does it mean?

I couldn't go to a college.

Though my result was good but it wasn't enough for my dreams.

What are those dreams?

I'm curious.

Studying in İstanbul, firstly.

I want to study psychology.

I like architecture on the other hand.

My sister is a construction engineer.

She's trying to impress me. We'll see.

So you'll either give people shelter or you'll...

...help them purify themselves.

I think they are both esteemed.

Now...

We'll take tissue sample with this.

It looks scary, yes.

Don't worry. It doesn't hurt as much as it looks.

I'm beginning.

A stronger feeling than pain and fear...

...has taken over my inner self in the hospital room that day.

An indescribable feeling.

I knew life was getting ready to hurt me...

...more than the needle stuck in my flesh.

I needed to be ready.

I needed to be ready to lose...

...more than I anticipate, to fight with a strength more than my will.

One week later...

Unfortunately, the tumor is malignant.

It's serious.

We need to start an intense treatment program as soon as possible.

Doctor, I don't want to poke my nose...

...but can't you operate...

...take out the tumor? Isn't it possible?

I'll try to explain.

If it was a clean, explicit tumor...

...we could operate right now.

But it's not. This is a challenging tumor.

It has wrapped all the veins around it, including capillary vessels.

If we go into there, necrosis would happen...

...and in the end this might...

...even kill her.

Doctor!

If her life is at stake...

...cut her leg off.

Cut her leg off. Save my Nesli from this illness.

Uncle, what are you talking about?

Cutting her leg off? You can't just say that!

Let them cut off your child's leg if it's that easy.

What are you saying?

Isn't Nesli my child as well?

Have I ever treated you different from my child?

If there is no other way, we have to do it.

Will we give up on Nesli for just one leg?

If my Nesli will survive, if she'll be saved...

...let her miss one leg.

I'll be her leg.

Uncle, she's so young. She's still a child.

Look, I'm for trying every treatment opportunity.

I won't give up on that leg easily.

Come on.

Look, doctor.

This is Black Sea.

We don't know anything about medicine.

Yet, we know this disease called cancer very well.

What if she doesn't get well?

If she doesn't respond to the treatment, then what?

It's something we don't want.

We'll discuss it in the council with other doctors.

I can't decide alone.

No one can decide alone.

So be it. Let's hope for the best.

Hello, Osman.

Hello, Fahri, how are you?

-I'm fine, thanks. -Welcome.

-I brought your order. -Thank you.

How about my daughter's present?

Don't even mention it. I've done it.

Bring it here, come on.

Look at those!

The real thing, right?

Of course. I got them from the distributor.

Professional basketball players wear them.

When your daughter wears them, she'll storm through the court.

Good.

-Get it wrapped, something fancy. -Whatever you say.

-Yes, my girl? -Dad, what's up?

Nothing. I'm working.

As usual.

How are you? Is everyone okay?

Dad, we're at Samsun.

We've been here for two days.

That's good.

I called Neslican yesterday. She didn't pick it up.

How was her exam?

Is she in good spirits?

Dad, we came to the hospital in Samsun.

Nesli is not well.

She has a tumor in her leg.

They said it's a cancer.

Dad.

Fahri!

-Hello? -Are you okay?

Hello?

Hello? Dad?

SYMPTOMS OF MALIGNANT TUMORS

My patient is a 19-year old girl, filled with joy of life.

Her overall health is good.

She is an athlete.

You can see the formation of a tumor at her left knee cap.

Pathology shows a local, high grade osteosarcoma.

Let's hear your opinion first, Mr. Nevzat.

There isn't a metastasis at any other organs.

I don't think we should give up on the leg right now.

She's young and healthy.

We can offer a strong chemotherapy program.

Yes, her chance is slim.

But there is still a chance.

I think it's worth trying.

Doctor Basri.

What do you say as the oncology department?

Your opinion is important at this point.

As you can see, this is an atypical case...

...for a 19-year-old girl.

Vessel involvement is high.

I understand Doctor Nevzat's sensibility...

...but sadly I have to say...

...the option of amputation is much better than losing the patient.

That's my opinion.

Let's not forget that our patient is a young girl.

With an amputation, her future will change completely.

Let's see the result of chemotherapy.

Let's apply the highest protocol.

I think the patient can tolerate that.

The chemotherapy that we'll apply will be the highest...

...protocol that the World Health Organization allows.

We have to stop cancer from spreading other organs.

Otherwise...

...we'll have to cut off your leg...

...in order to save your life.

This will be a harsh and challenging treatment process.

You need to be ready both psychologically...

...and physically.

As you know, chemotherapy has some side effects.

You'll lose your hair, eyebrows.

Maybe fingernails.

Weight loss, nausea.

Also you might not...

...have a child.

You may lose your fertility completely.

127 steps.

You take 127 steps from doctor's room to stairs.

You'll lose your hair, eyebrows.

Maybe fingernails.

Nausea.

You might not have a child.

You may lose your fertility completely.

Is taking 127 steps enough to...

...absorb what my doctor said...

...to resist the pain that I'll face...

...to decide whether I should give up my leg, my capacity...

...to be a mother or my life?

Let's say I prepared myself for what to come.

How was I going to say to my family?

I couldn't face them.

I followed my heart, like I always do.

My ears have heard what I'll live through.

I wanted my eyes to see it.

Hello.

You're so beautiful!

What's your name?

Why are you crying?

Is your sibling sick?

My sister comes here and cries...

...that's why I asked.

Why are you crying?

I'm sick.

Don't be sad, you'll get well.

Come here.

It's forbidden to hug here.

Instead, we do high-five with our feet.

High-five, then.

Your hair is beautiful.

But it's forbidden to let your hair down.

You have to tie your hair up.

You're right, but I don't have a hairpin.

Here, use this.

I'll take it back.

Because my dad got it for me.

I'll tie my hair up when it grows.

You'll give it back, okay?

Of course.

I promise.

-How does it look? -Beautiful.

Thank you.

HISTORICAL RİZE BAZAAR

I think you should read this.

THE ART OF APOLOGY

Do I know you?

You didn't change at all.

Excuse me?

Don't you recognize me?

Look, I'll help you now.

Do you remember?

I feel ridiculous right now.

I think you confuse me with someone else.

Thanks.

Hello.

I also had a coffee. Latte.

Hello, I had a coffee, as well.

Neslican Tay.

You had red hairpins.

Shaped like butterflies.

You got mad at me and broke the toy on my head.

You're him!

Mehmet Ali!

-You owe me an apology now. -Apology?

We were five or six years old.

Six. You were madly in love with me. That's why you beat me up.

I'll pay for his coffee.

Apparently I owe him an apology.

Thanks.

Also, I beat you up because you were stupid.

Have a nice day.

Is this how it goes?

Should I be worried?

I feared all women because of you.

I've never had a girlfriend.

Now you'll have. You've just faced your trauma.

How about you? Have you ever thought of me?

Why would I think about you?

I'm not surprised. That's what women do.

You're right. We have some privileges.

But you still look at me with admiring eyes.

Do you see an admiration the way I look at you?

Absolutely!

Could you please leave me alone?

If you give me your number.

Is that so?

-Are you okay? -Thanks.

I'll ask you something.

How did you recognize me after all these years?

I sometimes check your Instagram.

You posted three times in two years.

You're really obsessed with me.

I wouldn't say that but...

Thanks.

I'll call.

-Hello. -Hello, doctor.

Sait is one of my favorite students.

He's also a fine doctor.

He'll also take care Neslican.

-Thank you very much. -You are welcome, it's our duty.

-Neslican is inside, right? -Yes.

How is her morale?

Better than all of us.

That's not good.

Excuse me?

Your spirits should always be higher than hers.

It's not that easy, doctor.

I know it's not easy, but this way it's harder.

Both for you and for Neslican.

I don't say "Don't be sad." I say "Don't make her sad."

Come on, let's check our patient.

How are you, Neslican?

I don't know. I think I'm a little nervous.

Don't be nervous my love. I'm with you.

You?

Yes.

We'll administer the medicine now.

Will it hurt?

It won't, if you don't want to.

Did you make my two most positive patients sit side by side deliberately, Sait?

I'm always here, Doctor Nevzat.

For three years.

What was our deal, Aunt Hürrem?

-We don't move much during the session... -And we don't chatter.

You're so boring, Doctor Sait!

You're that girl!

Beautiful girl that peeked through the door.

I guess you know each other.

Yes, we came across but we haven't met.

I'm Hürrem Yurtsever.

I'm a staff patient here.

Even older than Doctor Sait.

-I'm Neslican. Nice to meet you. -Neslican! What a beautiful name!

It's really harmonic.

Thank you.

Okay, let's leave Neslican alone.

They will let you know when the session ends.

Okay, doctor.

I love you so much.

-Only me? -Yes, only you!

Get out of here!

-How much? -So much!

I don't know if you like tea or coffee.

So I took my chance with tea.

Also, if you spill on me, it's hard to clean its stain from a white coat.

Why would I spill it on you?

I've annoyed you upstairs.

You couldn't say anything in front of the doctor.

But the tea is hot and ER is close by.

See?

Smiling is not that hard, Ms. Nazlıcan.

I'm so sorry.

We're having difficult times. So, I apologize.

Do you hear the music?

Excuse me?

Listen the music.

I don't hear any music but...

My late husband was a successful musician.

Whenever we had some trouble...

...he would say "Turn down the pain, turn up the music."

I did what he said when I learned that I got sick.

I created an orchestra in my head.

I submitted myself to music.

What kind of a music?

For example, my music...

...begins with a piano sound from the deep.

First, you hear the notes, one by one.

While the notes spread into your body, you feel a deep calmness...

...starts to capture you slowly.

Then the music slows down, you hear the words.

They are your words.

Words refer to something.

A love, a separation, maybe coming together with someone.

It tries to heal your soul.

After the music travels through your veins...

...it starts to take over your whole body.

Like it wants to reach...

...your wound inside, make it bleed...

...and confront you with that wound.

Your emotions reach a peak while the song ends.

You give all of your life energy to chemotherapy...

...but when you start to get well...

...you feel that all your sufferings and troubles become meaningful.

Then you know that you won't be the same.

Maybe stronger, maybe more desperate.

You'll choose it.

You'll find your music, beautiful Neslican.

I was going to be 19 in a few days.

In those days, I learned that smiling is a door to eternity.

Smiling was kind of an elixir for immortality.

Those who can smile in hardest time, could be immortal in this life.

March 14, 2017

Step forward, to the left.

What? Lahmacun?

Lahmacun? Roasted beef? Please, let it be roasted beef!

Three, two, one!

Surprise!

My nineteenth year...

would bestow me a new life with this song.

I want to kiss all of you.

Until that day, I wished for success in every birthday.

I wished for a career or running faster while playing basketball.

Yes, a photo!

-Uncle, come here! -Come here!

My love!

Okay, come on!

-Okay, that's enough! -Uncle, come here please!

-Come here! -Enough already!

-Here. -Thank you.

Give it to me.

-Here. -What a beautiful thing!

Love it! Put it on me.

Wait, okay.

-I can't put it! -I've done it.

-It's not like that. -Okay, we'll do it later.

Hello.

Hi.

-Hello. -Welcome.

Hello. You look great.

-I'm good. -Hello.

My dear!

Welcome, dad.

Dad.

Please. Come on.

Everything is fine.

It with profiterole. Very delicious.

Sugar makes him feel good.

You lied, right?

About what?

You said that you've never had a girlfriend.

I didn't lie. I've tried couple of times.

None of them left a mark on me like you did.

What you want was not love. It was a beating.

Your smile has not changed at all.

It still smells like spring when you smile.

Were you smelling spring when I smiled at the age of six?

Such a literature for that age.

In fact, as I grow up, whenever I smelled the spring...

...I remembered your smile.

Spring remind me your smile, maybe not the other way around.

I'll go to the toilet.

Excuse me.

-Yes? -My friend went to the toilet.

Can you check on her? She hasn't come back yet.

She's tall, her hair is pigtailed. She's wearing a denim shirt.

That lady paid the bill ten minutes ago and left.

-Are you sure? -Yes, I am.

Okay, thanks.

Fahri?

What are you doing at this late?

I couldn't sleep.

Me, too.

What are these shoes.

I bought for Neslican.

Her birthday present.

Why didn't you give her?

It feels like a lie, Fatma. Like a joke.

-Cake, presents... -We have to, Fahri. We have to!

We'll act like the life is normal.

We won't let her feel it.

Forget about it, Fatma!

How she won't feel it?

My restless daughter, who can't even stay at home, is a prisoner...

...in hospital rooms.

That medicine, chemotherapy medicine, it's a poison.

She asked for pastry the other day. She ate it joyfully.

Then, what happened?

She rushed to the toilet.

It was like a poison for her. She vomited.

We're fooling Neslican, Fatma.

Okay.

But I can't fool myself.

Our girl is just 19 years old.

Nineteen years old.

Don't you think I realize that? Don't I get it?

When her bites become poison, my bites become poison as well.

I pray to God every night, I say "Take my life and give it to her."

Fahri, we'll stay strong, do you get it?

If have to pretend smiling, we'll do that.

If we have to die for our daughter, we'll die for her.

Do you get it?

But we won't let pain or death take our daughter from us.

Nesli?

What are you doing inside?

I'm coming in.

Are you okay, sister?

Where are scissors?

-Why do you ask? -Scissors...

Nazlı, where are scissors?

Nesli.

-What is it? -Where are scissors?

My Neslican, my dear.

My dear.

-Look. -Aunt, where are scissors?

-Listen to me. -Please. Okay, some on.

Get out, come on.

Come on.

What is it? What's going on?

She's cutting her hair.

-Calm down. -Is she doing by herself?

-Yes, calm down. -By herself?

Nesli. Open the door, my love.

Dear. My dear.

Open the door, my love.

Nesli.

Open the door, my love.

You look beautiful!

Look at her!

Her beauty became more visible.

Girl!

Magnificent!

My dear.

She cut it. By herself.

She cut it.

It will grow again. She looks beautiful.

-It will grow again. -Of course.

It will grow.

Mom, what are you doing?

Mom, let it go!

-No! -Sister!

Let me go! I said let me go!

Sister!

Just let me go!

Sister! Sister!

Look at me. Come here.

Look how beautiful she looks!

It will grow again. She'll have long hair.

It will be long.

-I'll get you water. -Bring some water.

Sister.

ONE MONTH LATER...

He thought I was a boy.

Because of the hat and the mask. When you deepened your voice...

My god!

Did something happen to my dad?

No, your father is fine.

My dear, come here.

-Let's talk a little. -Okay.

Come here.

Doctor Nevzat called.

Chemotherapy didn't work out.

We had high hopes but...

Didn't it get smaller at all?

It got bigger.

Okay.

What are we going to do?

You'll have a surgery.

It wasn't an option.

They will try.

What will they do in the operation?

I guess they'll clean the tumor.

There are other possibilities.

It's not certain. Only God knows.

What kind of a possibility?

What percentage?

I'm a numerical person. You have to give me numbers.

I mean...

Fine!

We're from Rize!

We're not afraid of couple of stupid cells.

Also, I'm a lucky person. You know that.

-That's it! -I'm lucky. Nothing will happen.

Of course you are!

You have an uncle like me.

What a luck!

Give it to me.

Also, Doctor Nevzat is a very good surgeon, right?

Right? That's another luck.

My only misfortune is my mom.

If she wasn't a cry baby, I would be perfect.

Is that so?

Give me that spoon.

This is not the one I like. It's not with walnut.

-I couldn't find that. -I'll have the one with lemon.

-Fine. -I'll eat them all, you'll see.

So what? I got upset, now I'm fine.

Go on, eat it. It will cool you down.

İsmail?

What is it?

-İsmail! -Kevser!

I couldn't say "They'll cut off your leg in return of your life." Kevser!

I couldn't say!

I couldn't say "Your leg will be gone, it will cut off." Kevser!

[RECITES THE QURAN]

Come on now.

Did I wake you up, my beauty?

No, I wasn't sleeping.

-Is that so? -I was watching you.

My dear.

Mom.

Last year in highland, a chicken had a cyst in its leg...

-...and you operated it. -Yes.

Why do you think that now?

Did it hurt a lot?

None.

It didn't hurt at all.

Then it healed completely, right?

Yes, don't you remember? It even gave us eggs.

May your healing hand touch me, mom. So, I can heal as well.

Always pray, okay?

May God take my health and give it to you.

May God take my life and give it you.

-Don't say that. -I can say that. I'm a mother.

You'll understand when you become a mother.

Sleep now, my beautiful daughter. Get some rest.

Come on, baby.

-Good night. -Good night.

People do not forget things they did the first time...

...and the last time.

That night was the most beautiful rainy night I saw in Rize.

It's like I was more beautiful than ever.

I didn't know why I attributed...

...so much meaning to a simple summer...

...night, an ordinary walk on the...

...coast road, a pair of heels...

...but I embedded every step into my memory as I walked.

I walked as much as I want that night.

Smile!

July 20, 2017

How is it?

So sweet.

-But it's blurry. -You really don't know how to do it.

This one is good.

Congratulations.

You wear red lipstick in this condition. You're unbelievable.

No, you're unbelievable, Nazlı.

How can you think I undergo an operation without a lipstick?

You don't know your sister at all!

No, Nazlı.

Really, no.

I thought about it.

Not after so much struggle and pain.

I'll keep this leg.

Don't worry.

Where is my hairpin?

I trust you with these.

Okay?

They are here. Smile now!

-How are you? -We're fine, doctor. We're great.

-Are you ready? -We are!

I insolated my leg while I was waiting at the outside.

I sunbathed it.

Maybe the remedy is that simple, right?

Yes.

Neslican.

There are couple of probabilities.

Will I be able to walk?

I'll do my best.

I know, doctor. I'm sure of it.

Okay, let's begin.

Tampon.

Give me gauze bandage.

Back up.

OPERATION ROOM

She had trusted me.

Kevser.

Nazlı.

What time is it?

It's six thirty, my dear.

Six thirty.

He couldn't be able to save it in two hours.

Two hours...

There was nothing else they could do.

Okay, stop.

Nazlı!

Nazlı.

Wait, wait.

My dear, don't pull them off.

-No! -Nazlı!

-Okay, my love. -No!

No! Nazlı! Why did you let them?

Wait, Kevser. Let her be.

Wait!

Cover it!

Cover it! Why did you let them?

-Why did you let them? -Nothing else they could do.

No!

Okay.

Calm down, my love.

There was nothing else to do.

I'm going to lose my mind!

I'm going to lose my mind!

I'm going to lose my mind!

I'm going to lose my mind!

Baby, come on, you should eat.

Am I bedridden, Nazlı?

Can't I walk?

That's not true.

How am I going to live like this?

I still feel it, you know?

I even feel my toes.

This pain won't last, you know that right sister?

I know.

Move aside.

Your head annoys me the most.

It's like a squash.

I want your hair to grow first.

I'm more beautiful than you even with this look, that's why you're jealous.

How is mom?

They gave her a sedative. She's sleeping.

She does that for my dad to pay attention to her, right?

It's fake.

Of course, it's fake.

She faints if it's a public hospital.

If it was private, she wouldn't.

I completely agree.

August 14, 2017 SAMSUN

Legless.

When did you come?

We've never left, princess.

-We were waiting for you to wake up. -Have you just called me legless?

Aren't you?

What are these things?

My assets.

Move.

Bekir, do not hurt yourself, okay?

Why would I?

These are really good.

-Of course. What did you think? -Give me one of these.

Sure, I will.

Come on, get up.

What?

Get up. That's enough lying.

-Get up? -Yes.

My God!

-Slow down! -No!

Stupid!

What are you doing?

I'll beat you up with this.

Give it to me!

I'm going to fall!

God!

Come on...

-Dear God! -Are you okay?

I'm fine. Look at her.

I don't know if you're crying or smiling.

What is it?

Kiss my squash.

Well done.

Jump!

Jump!

I'm turning.

-Yes, put it on my desk. -Okay, doctor.

Doctor?

Any hard feelings?

Why would we have any, Neslican?

You look wonderful.

Thanks to you, doctor.

I hold you up as an example to all my patients.

It's my duty.

In fact, I wanted to talk to you.

Doctor, let's not do that. Don't bring us down.

I take you as an example about fighting.

Doctor, I love you.

-I might fall! -Be careful!

The last year.

We had a basketball game. The final game.

You were mad at me because I didn't show up.

Because I wanted you to see it.

I was the star of the team.

I wanted you to see it.

I wanted you to be proud of me.

I'm always proud of you, my daughter.

Today, more than ever.

I won't lie.

I was mad at you.

-But from within. -I know.

May I tell you a secret?

They call me Black Sea girl, you know.

Okay, I take after them with my craziness, but I'm your daughter more than anything.

I'm from Aegean region.

It's difficult to keep this secret.

I'm tempted to go out there...

...and shout out to all of Black Sea!

No way! They'll kill me.

-Dad. -My girl. My Nesli.

Don't cry.

My daughter.

Don't cry! No!

İrem.

-What are you doing here? -Hide and seek.

Where is your leg?

I did magic.

-I made it disappear with magic. -Bring it back.

That's a little tough, İrem.

Because I know the magic to disappear but I forgot the magic to bring it back.

My sister will bring the magic book tomorrow, we'll see.

So you'll be without a leg until tomorrow?

I'll make do. It's okay.

-Come on hide, you'll be tagged. -There isn't a seeker.

-What do you mean? -I play alone.

Other children don't want to play.

Why not?

They feel sick, they have nausea.

That's what they always say. They never play.

They never smile.

Let me tell you something.

Come, let's make them smile.

Your legless sister is here!

I love you all! Let's play a game!

-What do you say? -Okay!

-Charades! -Yes!

Calm down Mrs. Fatma.

-We'll find her. -How can I calm down, doctor?

-Where can she go with her condition? -That's what I say.

She can't go far. She must be in the hospital.

You've checked the ladies' room, right?

Of course I did. She's not there.

Did you see a patient with crutches around here?

-We found her Doctor Sait. -Congratulations, she's been found.

Come on now...

MORGUE

Hey!

-Careful! -I want to put on red nail polish.

-I'll give it you. -Nazlı!

Mom, don't come. You're a cry baby. You two can come.

Mom, there is no seat. You can go with my uncle.

İsmail!

From now on we'll keep Neslican's spirits high.

Sister, I'm telling you.

You're crying now, sour faced! Do you hear me?

We'll do anything to keep Neslican's spirits high.

From now on, you won't cry in front of her.

For God's sake, sister!

Okay, come on.

You'll be running in three months.

Don't exaggerate, aunt.

Not at all!

Your last name is Tay, Tay!

Tay Tay!

-Tay Tay. -Tay Tay!

What's that?

Are they honking at us?

Let me see.

-He gave us hazelnuts. -I got them.

I got hazelnuts!

-Fresh hazelnut! -So we must be in Ordu.

-Hazelnuts from our uncle. -My favorite!

My favorite! My uncle!

My dear uncle, you see.

Yes, dear viewers. Neslican Tay is 19 years old.

She had a surgery three days ago but she's eating without a break.

I want to say something.

-Give it to me. -Don't shoot me.

Hello dear viewers! Come.

Hello dear viewers!

It won't matter whatever happened to you.

Only if you have good food.

So, keep on eating! Eat hazelnuts!

Open your mouth.

Here.

It's been fifteen days since my surgery.

I was sitting in the balcony.

I would never sit in that balcony but I was sitting there that day.

And I saw this bird at the balcony.

I couldn't believe it. It doesn't have a left leg as well.

It was like a miracle. I said "Yes, this must mean something."

I checked again.

It looked at me, do you know?

Then it flew away in the blue sky.

I said "Yes, it has a disability as well."

It doesn't have a left foot.

But it doesn't consider it as a disability.

I said "Then why do I consider it like that?"

Just two days after this photograph, I wore my shorts.

I put on makeup.

My makeup was so beautiful that day.

I grabbed my crutches.

I told that I want to go the shopping mall.

Uncle, look. This is the bionic leg.

Very sensitive and battery-powered.

This is almost like a real leg.

Show me.

This is something like a robot.

-That's right. -How much does it cost?

Five hundred thousand liras, dad.

Damn!

How much left from the house sale?

Around a hundred thousand.

I sold it for 160 thousand.

It's spent for the operation and other things.

Thank you.

There is some money in the bank.

Not much.

İsmail? We'll withdraw that money.

No way. You had dreams.

You'll build a house in the village with that.

No. A house?

Our dreams do not matter against the dreams of...

...a nineteen-year-old girl.

It's yours.

We'll give it for my Nesli.

My sister.

We'll deal with it.

We'll deal with it together, sister.

Mom, look! So beautiful, right?

Of course she is.

She looks beautiful with everything but why do you have your purse?

-I'm going. -To where?

To shopping mall.

I'm out of lip moisturizer, there is discount at the shop.

I never miss discounts, you know.

I called Ahsen, she's coming with me.

Well done, girl! Well done!

-Come on! -Wait, I'm coming with you.

Come, catch up with me!

Wait, let me take my purse.

August 2017 TRABZON

Can you take a picture of me?

-Is it good? -Yes. Very good!

-Looks good. Send me this one. -Okay.

Check out Instagram.

Just check it.

-Have you sent something? -Just check it.

Frida Kahlo said "We can endure...

...more than we anticipate."

Now what?

I'll move on.

I'll run around with these crutches.

I know good things will happen to me in life...

...and I move on.

What did you do?

I answered all the questions.

Now people that I meet...

...won't say "What happened to you? Where is your leg?"

Those who see the message should tell the others.

Also, I'm not dead, I'm alive. I'm happy!

Open the door.

-I'm coming. -No, uncle, wait.

Don't help me. Why did we have this leg?

Until you get used to it.

But mom, if you help me I can never get used to it.

Okay.

Neslican, you have it for just two hours, you'll run if we let you!

-I'll do that one day. -Of course.

I'll serve you the most delicious tea ever now.

İsmail!

-You ate the tea. -I'm telling you, the most delicious...

...tea ever.

Excuse me. Neslican Tay, right?

Yes.

I don't recognize you.

We follow you on social media.

You're truly amazing, Neslican.

Your struggle, perseverance and self-confidence are great.

We follow you with admiration.

We are always with you.

-Thank you. -Okay. Don't be that close.

Stay away. Don't have an admiration or something like that.

Look, I'm getting angry.

Please!

This is from a hackberry tree. Saves you from evil eye.

It has a high energy.

I made it for myself but it will look better on you.

-I'll be happy if you accept it. -Of course, thank you very much.

You are welcome.

Let's go before the uncle gets mad. If you'll excuse us.

Good bye. See what you did?

He called me uncle.

-Here. -What did you do uncle?

I still can't believe this.

I had 270 followers two days ago, now it's a thousand.

What happens then?

Your daughter is becoming famous!

Listen what they wrote.

"You're so beautiful with your courage and struggle, we're with you Neslican."

Dear god!

"Keep on dancing, we're with you."

Selin Şekerci commented!

-What? -Selin Şekerci!

Neslican, you were admiring them before...

...now they all admire you.

We don't need fame or anything.

-We're fine without it. -İsmail!

Read it.

Does it hurt?

Yes, but it's okay. I'll get used to it.

When am I going to get rid of this?

You don't listen, sister. It can't be like a real leg.

It's not flexible. You can't trust your mechanic leg only.

Nazlı, let's take it off. It hurts.

I think it bruised my leg.

I've told you.

You should have boundaries.

You shouldn't use it more than thirty minutes.

You don't know your sister at all, Nazlı.

Am I able to do what I say?

Can I do that? No, I can't.

Thanks, have a nice day.

What is it?

It says "bionic foot manufacturer." Where are my glasses?

-Dad, let me read it. -Here.

Give it to me.

This is the brand that I checked.

I know we can't afford it, I just wanted to have an idea.

It's okay.

"Dear Neslican Tay, we saw you on social media.

We're impressed by your courage and strength to cling to life.

You inspire amputated people.

We want to be your sponsor for RXXX, the most advanced bionic leg in the world."

My God! Mom!

Thank God.

Mom! This is superb!

-What is it dear? -Uncle, look!

Wasn't it five hundred thousand liras? You are really lucky!

-God loves you. -Even Messi's leg isn't worth much.

Messi's one leg is worth 50 million!

Okay, shut up! It continues.

"Let's make a schedule, if you wish.

Come to İstanbul as our guests.

After the fitting the process will begin."

-My God! -See? She did it by herself.

My girl!

Why are you so happy?

I'm getting a bionic leg!

I'm coming back to life!

-I'll take this off! -Don't be ridiculous!

-Slow down! -Aunt!

It's for you, my girl!

Wait, I'll sit down.

Sit down.

When will you go to İstanbul?

They might change their minds.

Now, if it was up to me.

I don't want to put up with this mechanical leg one more minute.

Who is this?

"Hello, I'm Hande Erkenci.

Ayşe Gürman's assistant."

-What? -Ayşe Gürman?

Wait a minute. Is this the famous Ayşe Gürman?

"Mrs. Ayşe is impressed by your photos on social media.

She wants to meet and do an interview with you if it's possible."

-Someone is mocking me. -Certainly.

Why would they? Let's check her profile.

Wait a minute. Mrs. Ayşe is following her.

This is the real profile. What if I talk nonsense, make a fool of myself?

No way, you hide your foolishness very well.

I haven't replied.

-"I'll be glad." -Yes.

"When should we do it?"

Perfect.

"Now, if you're available."

She says "Now, right now."

Is this real? Look at it.

Yes, it's real.

September 2017

This is good, okay.

Don't make me laugh, okay?

Tell her, not me.

God! She's calling.

Don't make me laugh, okay?

-Hello Neslican! -Hello.

Sorry, I'm so excited.

It's okay. How are you?

-How is life? -It's great.

I'm fighting to make it greater.

Neslican, I want to get right down to it.

In fact, I'd like to do this interview face to face.

But I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible and...

...show your energy, your passion of life to whole Turkey.

Firstly, how would you describe yourself with one sentence?

I'd say "I'm not just a leg, I'm much more than that."

How can you be so sweet, so positive?

You lost a leg, after all.

I've accepted what happened to me.

Now I want to move to the next phase.

I love living. I have many dreams.

Like what?

I'll travel the world.

I'll go to university.

And I want to fall in love.

I want children. I want to run them.

Wonderful!

Do you plan to use a prosthesis?

Yes, a firm contacted me and they said they want to be my sponsor.

I'll have a cutting-edge prosthesis leg.

It's being manufactured now.

Soon, I'll be "Iron Woman."

Living is so beautiful.

So I want to have my leg as soon as possible.

I'll demonstrate everyone that I can stand on my own feet.

So, I really want to meet you when you're in İstanbul.

I follow your struggle and your courage with envy, Neslican.

Goodbye.

KINDNESS WILL SAVE THE WORLD

I'M NOT JUST A LEG, I'M MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

İstanbul Prosthesis Center October 2017

-Is this mine? Can I have it? -Of course.

A little heavy, be careful.

This is so beautiful!

Dilara!

This has glitters!

That's what suits you.

Thank you so much.

This is so beautiful!

Wait, we still have things to do, you know.

You'll have exercises for three months. Okay?

-Three months? -Yes.

-I can't wait for three months. -But that's the timeline.

People can adapt only in three months.

You don't know me yet.

-So you're assertive. -Big time!

Neslican, there is something you should know.

Some people can never give up crutches, okay?

I have to.

Because I'm not just going to walk.

I'll run. I'll do everything.

I love you.

I'm so excited!

Everything will be great.

I've always been a fighter.

Both in school and my sports career...

...I wanted to fight thoroughly in order to say...

..."I made it by myself."

It was what I knew the best.

Not giving up the fight.

I sometimes witnessed that the winners...

...do not always win by fighting for it...

...but I never saw that the ones do their diligence lose.

-I was good, right? -Superb!

-Give me. -Let's share it.

Look at it.

One month later...

Is my walk a little bit crooked?

Nesli.

Let me write that.

"Is my walk a little bit crooked?"

Share.

-Okay then. -Wait!

You can keep it now.

-Really? -Yes.

You said after three months.

Because I thought you were a normal person.

Dilara, I'm so happy!

You are a creature!

-Now it's mine. -Yes!

Have I taken everything?

Dilara?

-I'm here. -I got it. I thought I forget my phone.

-Your makeup is so beautiful. -Really?

-Yes. -Thank you.

Do I have something in my teeth?

No.

Nesli?

Mehmet Ali?

Do you know each other?

I sent a toy to her.

She broke it on my head in kindergarten.

So I have a souvenir.

What a story! And they call me vengeful.

You look beautiful.

Would you like to have coffee?

That would be nice.

I already had an urgent job.

I'll go, but you hang out.

Okay? Take care of her.

Dilara, we were going to go together.

So? How about coffee?

I'm buying.

Deal.

Of course. You know all my life because I share everything...

-...on social media. -Of course.

What are you doing? How's it going? Are you a student?

No. I started working after high school. I work here.

-Are you a waiter? -Not really.

Hello. Mehmet Ali, you'll go, right?

Yes, I will.

-Excuse me. -Where are you going?

We didn't waste time for the first time

We hugged tightly, as is it's the last time

This is neither fate, coincidence, nor something else

Outright love

Maybe a fairytale

I knocked down the bridges of love years ago

How did you manage to fix them?

You wasted your years with tears

We need to grow together

One more time

I knocked down the bridges of love years ago

MAY I BUY YOU THE BEST BREAKFAST IN THE CITY TOMORROW?

Now I'm with you

I'm not afraid when I'm with you

Don't be afraid either

I say "If you can do it, I can do it."

It feels great. I'm glad that I know you, Neslican.

My son showed me your story.

"Check out Neslican" he said.

"She does it, you can do it."

I don't know how much time I have left.

But I live every day for my family.

Eslem.

My daughter.

She's just 11 years old.

She didn't just lose her leg after the accident.

Her joy, her future...

I show you to her every day.

She doesn't believe anything but she believes in you.

She needs to have an operation next month.

Can you help me convince her?

This can't be the best in town.

Maybe not the best but the most delicious.

-You'll see. -Mehmet, welcome.

-How are you, Sait? -I'm fine, how about you?

As usual.

-Thanks. -You're welcome, enjoy.

-Thanks. -Thank you very much.

Actually, I have something to tell you.

You know, I write on Instagram.

"I gave a leg to cancer but I got my life back."

Yes, I read it.

Maybe I didn't get it back.

Maybe it was just an advance payment.

What I'm trying to say is, I might die any moment.

Me, too.

-What? What's wrong with you? -I have a body, too, Neslican.

I might have cancer, too.

You're really crazy.

I was going to order coffee but Sait doesn't care about us.

He doesn't attend to us.

Excuse me?

Yes, how can I help you?

Could you please...

...plug this in?

Here.

I'll give you the charger.

Here it is.

-Like a phone, you'll just plug in. -Of course.

-And two coffees, please. -Sure.

Now they will care.

-But he was baffled. -Of course.

-Do you like this place? -Everything was so delicious.

I'll always bring you here.

We didn't want to tell you on the phone.

Cancer.

It's back, right?

Where?

Lungs.

My dear.

Look, we're all sad.

But Doctor Sait said...

...it's on the edge of your left lung. Not that difficult, it's small.

Nothing to be afraid of.

They can take it off, baby. They can remove it with an operation.

That's right.

But, this time it's different.

As long as we're not too late.

We're here to take you, my dear.

Sait arranged the hospital.

You can go in tomorrow morning.

Will I be completely clean when they remove the tumor?

Of course. There aren't any tumors.

Also, we'll tell you everything.

We won't keep any secrets.

Okay, this operation can be done.

But you know. This is a lung operation.

So, it's a little tough.

So, we'll be staying in hospital for 14-15 days.

It's a tedious process. but there is nothing to worry about.

Just don't be afraid.

Before this year for a new year wish...

...I would ask for love, success, career, running faster...

...while playing basketball.

This time I asked for health.

Unfortunately, in the days I wish for these things...

...I learned that I had cancer again.

It had spread to part of my lung.

"I'm so lucky" I said.

I found good even in this evil.

Because tumor could be removed.

Yes, maybe I entered the new year with these tubes.

But I said "No, I won't be mourning."

Life goes on.

I have to be happy.

I have a wonderful family.

I can reach so many people.

Why would I be unhappy?

Nes!

I have good news!

What? Test results are mixed up, my lung is clean.

-Not that. -We saw tomography results, Nes.

Come on Nazlı.

So they found a cure for cancer. Is that it?

You passed the university exam!

Bahçeşehir University. Psychology, full scholarship.

No way! Really?

This is real! High five!

Nazlı!

It's so beautiful here.

I'm so happy!

You kept saying İstanbul, there you are.

-Right. -Both airy and with a sea view.

It's also close to your school.

You can't find such a view in anywhere else.

You continue, I'll check it.

Okay, go and check sister. Well done.

Nesli!

Stop what you're doing.

We have an important job.

What?

We need to prepare a speech for five hundred people.

Right now!

-Five hundred people? -Yes!

Is this what I'm guessing?

After all I've been through I'm here before you.

Yes, the tumor was removed. You're wondering, I know.

It didn't relapse.

I'm being checked with a small pill.

I don't know for how long a small pill can stop the aggressive tumor...

...that chemotherapy could not.

And I don't know how much time do I have left.

You don't know either.

We all live without knowing how much time do we have left.

Then we must live in the best way possible.

Look at me.

I pulled through two cancers.

I lost my leg.

But I've never lost the joy and hope of living.

Love your life, love yourselves.

Love your body.

Your soul won't find another body.

Love your hair, your weight, your height.

And love your left leg for me.

Love your life.

Live in a way that you can love.

Because you have only one life.

And nothing or nobody can stop you from living the life you want...

...as long as you don't let them.

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

Nesli.

I have a surprise for you.

Can you get up?

Okay.

Are you okay?

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

Iron Women do not give up!

We're with you Neslican!

You'll be sleeping like a baby in couple of minutes.

Even if we're together my love

Even if we don't see each other and miss one another

Even if we commit for a life time

Help, save her!

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What are you doing? You shouldn't get up.

-What's going on? -Nothing.

Your sister went to get medicine. Come here.

-What's going on? -It's okay, calm down.

What's going on?

It's okay, calm down.

Why are these people crying? What is it?

There was a girl at child oncology department.

A leukemia patient. She's gone.

Your sister will be back soon.

I can't give it as a gift but I'm lending it.

Because my dad gave it to me.

I'll tie my hair when it grows.

You'll give it back, okay?

Naz. I'll say something. Have you set a date for the wedding?

You have to let me know in advance.

Because I'll arrange a dress for that.

Nesli! I don't like these subjects at all.

Why do we need a ceremony?

We can do a small wedding among ourselves, that's it.

What does it mean? No way!

I want even the smallest details.

I want a bachelorette party. Everything.

Sister, we already have too much trouble...

What trouble, Naz? Look, I'm fine.

I recovered. Also, I will dance.

I'll do belly dance. I may not know well.

At least I can join the group dance.

When I lost my leg...

...we thought "Yes I've lost it...

...but it's over, we're saved, hooray!"

But that wasn't the case.

What I want to say is, I have a wonderful family.

I go to a wonderful school.

Yes, everything is wonderful.

Yet, I'm not healthy.

Maybe you have some other problem in your life.

Maybe you don't like your job.

You don't like your school.

Or you don't like your friends.

You want to gossip.

I don't know what it is, I can't know.

I can't change your life...

...but maybe my life can inspire you.

Really!

Enjoy.

I've always wanted to be a bride, you know?

Yes, since I was a kid.

I used to imagine myself with two children but also with a career.

Is this a marriage proposal?

Would you accept?

I'd like to think.

For three seconds.

Of course I had bigger dreams.

For example, I've always wanted to touch people's lives...

...to change something in their lives.

I was obsessed with being here to stay, you know?

It was a remote and difficult prospect. It was even a dream.

Being here to stay.

I have to be rich first.

I must be rich.

Being strong, standing on your own feet.

Earning your own living.

I can't wear heels but I should always look good.

Always.

I'll have a beautiful office in Nişantaşı.

Maybe on Bağdat Street, I don't know.

It will have big seats.

Huge, comfortable.

Filtered coffee for my clients. Fresh, always!

And fresh cookies for my clients' children.

You're so sweet.

I won't take money from the poor.

Never.

GLAD TO BEAT YOU, IT'S WORTH IT!

ALWAYS REMEMBER ME LIKE TODAY.

DON'T ADD ANOTHER MEMORY ON TOP OF IT, NES.

Love birds!

Sait!

Be very happy!

Yes. My beautiful family!

I bought you tiny little gifts.

Some of them are my old stuff but I want you to have them now.

Some are new stuff.

What's all this now? Buying gifts to everybody?

I read an article, mom.

It says "Get rid of your burden, get lighter, share with your loved ones."

How much lighter will you get?

You're all skin and bones.

Don't worry aunt, I'll gain weight.

I stopped taking that stupid pill. I'll eat a lot now.

Well done, girl!

It was hard for you with your appetite.

Bread is the staff of life.

Mom.

Help me. Okay, I take it off.

This is for you.

I'll give these all of you.

Everybody will have something special, don't worry...

...but today, we'll take many photos and videos...

...because I bought an expensive camera and we need to make the best of it.

Come on, selfie!

Wait.

Come here.

For God's sake Kevser...

...what's this Caucasian music in a Black Sea wedding?

Uncle-in-law is from Manisa, his mother is from Caucasia.

Dear god!

I'm tempted to grab the bagpipe.

-I'll get the bagpipe. -Stay here, İsmail.

He can't even dance. Look at him, for God's sake.

-Caucasian! Come on! -Do it like this, uncle-in-law!

-My girl! -Nes!

-Are you okay? -What happened? Call an ambulance!

-Call an ambulance! -Move!

-Mr. Nevzat! -Let's call an ambulance!

-Can you move, please? -Nesli!

Ambulance! Are there any doctors?

Get back! Let her breathe!

Get back!

-Are there any doctors? -They are doctors, okay.

15 Days Later...

Unfortunately, her condition is not very good.

Sister.

They say intubation is the only option.

EARLY DIAGNOSIS SAVES LIVES

Her right lung doesn't respond anymore.

She lost 60 percent...

...of her left lung.

It's okay, she'll get up. She always won. She'll win again.

Sister.

Doctor Nevzat said...

..."They should see Neslican, if they wish."

Sister...

They will put me to sleep.

Don't tell mom, okay?

So she won't be sad.

Okay, I won't.

I won't tell her.

Now just think about yourself, okay?

Just yourself.

Do you want anything? Shall I bring you something?

Lahmacun.

They won't let us.

I'd like chocolate milk.

Can I have it?

Shall I tell you a secret, too?

I couldn't be in your final game.

But...

Bekir recorded it with a camera.

I secretly got it from his phone.

I watched it maybe a thousand time.

Your fighting spirit, perseverance in that game...

I felt more proud of you every time I watched it.

Whenever I was in trouble, I felt defeated, tired...

...I watched that game, do you know that?

It seems that fathers can learn so many things from their children.

I learned not to give up from you, my girl.

Don't ever give up.

My dear.

My love.

My kid.

My girl.

You were born so easily.

Without any pain, without any ache, so easily.

Even the doctor said...

..."This girl would have been born on her own, even if I wasn't here."

My late aunt said "This girl didn't hurt you at all while you were...

...pregnant, so she'll never hurt you throughout your life."

She said that.

Why are we saying these things now, my God?

I don't know.

I wish you had hurt me when you were born.

I wish you had hurt me while I was pregnant.

I would have put up with that pain, Neslican.

I would have put up with that pain but I can't put up with this one.

I can't.

So, please...

Please, open your eyes.

Please, smile for once.

Please, get up!

Otherwise I can't.

Please, my girl!

Tell me "I'm fine Fatma Sultan!"

Make jokes about me.

Please, my girl!

I don't want anything else.

I don't want anything else from God.

September 20, 2019

Doctor, I bought milk for my sister, can I give her?

We did the best we can do.

I'm so sorry, Nazlı.

At least can I give the milk, doctor?

I'm so sorry.

My condolences.

I know.

It was so difficult.

It was very difficult for all of us but...

We fought well.

And lastly...

Do not wait for darkness to see the stars.

Take a good care of yourselves.

I love you all so much.

SUPPORTED BY REPUBLIC OF TURKIYE MINISTRY OF CULTURE AND TOURISM