All language subtitles for Comic.Book.Villains.2002.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG-eng

[V.6.]

You know comics?

Please.
I'm listening. I'm all ears.

Please, please, tell me!

It's not just comics.

It's about cash.

We could have split it.

We could have split it? No!

It's all mine!

Why? Why? Why would I split it with you?

Because we were in this together.

No! I'm in this alone!

My whole life!

Every waking, sleeping,
dreaming moment of my life,

I spent for comics.

What do you live for, my friend?

You know comics? You know shit!

Is that what it would have taken to share?

I know comics, too.

I... i grew up with them.

Yeah, you know comics.

You're the oracle of delphi of comics.

Yes, um...

First appearance of Superman?

Action comics#1.

Everyone knows that.

Batman?

Detective comics27.

Spider-man?

Spider-man#1.

Wait, wait.

Amazing fantasy15.

Golden age flash?

Golden age flash...

Flash comics#1.

Silver age flash?

Showcase 4.

Human torch?

Fantastic four#1.

No! I'm taking about the 1940's torch!

Marvel mystery#1.

Wonder woman?

Wonder woman...

Come on!
Wonder woman...

Wonder woman... sensation1.

Wrong!

No, no, wait.

I'm right.
It's definitely sensation1.

No!

No!

It's not wonder woman #1, if that's...

What are you trying to do?
What are you trying to do?

Insult me?

Are you patronizing me,

or are you just trying
to get yourself killed?

Because if you're doing that,

you're doing a very... Good... Job.

Our town?

Um... it was normal.

Walk down main street on a busy Saturday,
and you knew almost everyone.

Yep, a normal place.

Normal stores and normal people.

And if it was a little boring,

no one seemed to notice but me.

The thing is, looking back,

I see it wasn't just normal.
It was real, too...

The real world, where parents paid bills
and kids worried about football tryouts,

where folks argued whether the
president was a Saint or a sinner.

Yep. Real.

A little piece of the world

that my friends and me didn't belong to.

See, we had a world of our own.

Why argue about the president

when you could argue
for the fate of earth

with galactus, devourer of worlds?

Why try out for football

when you could try out for the X-Men?

Nah, we didn't do any of that.

But read enough comics,

and it sure made you feel like you did.

Pathetic? Yeah, maybe.

But all you out there
with your daytime soaps,

as far as I'm concerned,
you're in glass houses throwing stones.

That's me. The name's Archie lake.

I have to say that I'm a bit
different from a lot of guys here.

Not by choice, my parents dying and all.

I was alone.

I had a single room in a guesthouse.

Me, a bed, and more comic
boxes than I could count.

Most of these guys live at home.

Why? No rent.

And guess what that
extra dough gets spent on.

And not just new books every month,

back issues, too,
some costing some serious dough.

Which is how and why things
turned a little crazy last year.

And this is Raymond macgillicuddy,
owner of this heaven on earth.

Getting in with Raymond so he
thought you were worth talking to...

Now that was something to strive for.

When he thought you were worth the effort,

boy, those talks...
Stimulating.

About things that really matter.

If you want to fuck a superheroine,

the golden age canary wins
hands-down over the modern version

because of the fishnets.

How about the valkyrie
from the airboycomic?

Normally,
I'd agree with you,

except for the fact that she
was in suspended animation.

She started screwing
the airboy in the 1940s,

then she comes out of cold storage

and starts screwing the
new airboy in the present?

So?

Well, the new airboy in the present
is the son of the original.

That means the valkyrie
was doing the father and the son.

That is fucked up.

Gentlemen,

she was lost. She was lonely.

She was looking for love, ok?

Which of us,
under those conditions,

wouldn't do the same?

Yes.

And this is conan.

He calls himself that 'cause he says

Robert e. Howard,
the guy who created conan the barbarian,

was his great uncle,

which I know is a crock.

He's my Dr. Doom, my archfoe.

Why?

He has more money than me,

and he snags the comics I can't.

Plus, he's in with Raymond, too.

In fact, it was him that
started all the craziness.

Though I admit it seemed
innocent at the time

when he opened his mouth,
sweet as pie, and said...

Raymond,

do you know a guy
named David cresswell?

David cresswell...

No, no. Should... should I?

The new books come in?

Hellboyby mignola.

Madmanby allred.

The others,
they're the same old crap.

Is that it, arch?

Yeah, unless my poster came in.

Nope.

Well, what about my
Alex Ross signed hardcover?

Nope, again.

You're not having
much luck today.

Ring me up.

What's going on?

You seem kind of down.
You all right?

I'm fine.

You know, I just really
don't want to talk about it.

Why not? You're among friends.

Um, do you remember
my cousin Sam?

I brought him in once
when he was visiting.

Well, it doesn't matter.

Anyway, he got this job
driving a cab in New York,

and he saved up all this money,

and now he's going to Europe.

Big deal. What's so
special about that?

Europe isn't... isn't here.
It's...

It's there?

Yeah, it's there.
It's somewhere.

Why would you want
to leave town?

Everything worth
having is right here.

Raymond's store.

Domino's pizza.

Very true.

Conan, be careful
of that, um, counter.

The leg's broken.

You going to fix it?

I'll get around to it.

This, um...

Cresswell character.
Should I know him?

He died.

My mom told me.
She met his mom.

Really?

He was on old guy.
50, 55.

Collected comic books
his whole life.

I find that hard to believe,

seeing as I know every serious comic-book
collector in the tri-county area,

and I've never heard
of this cresswell character.

I meant he did until,
like, 5 years ago.

That was before
you opened the store.

But he started buying
when he was 8 or 9.

That's like 45 years
of collecting.

It's cool?

And he's deceased, you say?

Too many burgers.
His heart.

Makes you proud
to be a comic fan.

Where... where does
this mother live?

My mom met her at the doctor's.

She's like 100 or
something, extremely old.

Who, your mom?

Mrs. Cresswell.

They met at the doctor's
waiting room.

They don't exchange
numbers or anything.

My mom's hot.

She's trying to date
the u.P.S. Guy,

so I can't see her
giving foot rubs

to some old woman, you know?

C-Conan, have you told
this to anyone else?

Only you.

Which wasn't exactly true.

In fact, it wasn't true at all.

You remember that conan
was my archenemy?

Well, Raymond had
his own Lex Luthor.

Norman link and his wife Judy

had their own store across town.

They weren't
hard-core comic fans.

Norman realized that there was
money to be made in comics,

especially if you
stocked a variety of cards

and games and stickers and crap

that encouraged mothers
to bring in their kids.

And that's why
Raymond hates them.

He feels there's
no real love for comics,

neither Norman or his wife.

Norman, in turn,
hates Raymond as a professional rival.

I think words
were even exchanged once

when they were at a stop sign

and they both thought
they had the right of way.

I never go into the place.

I have Raymond, so why would I?

But little did ray and I know

that conan...

He liked to switch-hit.

Which is why,
earlier that same day...

Do you know a guy
named David cresswell?

And that's our cast
of four-color characters.

No, wait.
There's one more.

The reason I almost forgot him

is that I didn't know this
guy when it all started.

None of us did except Raymond,

and even his association
was from a long time ago.

Here he is...

J.c. Carter.

Though what
the j and the c stand for

are as mysterious as the shadow.

And as you can see
at this moment in time,

the last thing
on his mind is comic books.

Hello?

Archie, hey.

Hey, what are you doing?

Babylon 5is on.

It's a repeat.

So?

So don't you have
the week off work?

Yep, my boss
is making me take it.

So what are
you going to do with it?

I don't know.

I'll probably re-bag
part of my collection

and practice how to make the
perfect grilled-cheese sandwich.

Hey, um, how'd you like
to spend tomorrow

driving around with me?

It's probably nothing.

No, we can't afford it.

Ok, well, it's probably nothing,

so don't worry about it.

Well, why are we
bothering if it's nothing?

Because maybe it is something.

Then we should worry.

Can...

Norman.

Look, rumors like this one

drip down from
the clouds every few years.

The big collection.

You start hearing about
30, 40, 50 years of comic books

kept pristine
in a basement or a warehouse.

Usually it turns out
to be bullcrap.

50 years of so-called collecting

turns out to be a year of Archie
comics in a cardboard box.

Or there's a few old comics,

but the rats and the damp
have gotten to them.

So why bother?

Because you never know.

There was a collection once.

"The mile-high collection"
they call it now.

The man that found it
built a mini-empire

of comic-book stores
in Colorado and abouts.

Norman, we can't afford
to be buying collections.

Our quarterly taxes
are due next week.

I know it.

Say, you want pizza tonight?

I want a baby.

Gee, I don't know if I can
get that as a topping, honey.

How about, sausage?

You bastard.

Say, where's the phone book?

The number for the pizza
store is on the refrigerator.

No, I'm thinking there can't be
too many cresswells in town, right?

Hey, I'm leaving.

I want to take a bath.

Nice.
Can I watch?

No, you can't.

I want an hour to myself,

so don't come over yet.

Ok.

So what are you going to do?

Finish up here.

Will you grab
something on your way over?

What?

I'm making you a meal tonight.

Macaroni and cheese?

No, I'm making a
roasted vegetable omelette,

and I got everything.
I just need...

Red and yellow sweet peppers.

Honey?

Can you get them?

Yeah, yeah.
Green and yellow peppers.

No, red.

Red and yellow peppers.

Ok, I'll get 'em.

Thanks.

And,

Cheryl said that she saw
Tony here earlier,

but I must have been backstage.

I've been here hours.
I haven't seen him.

Just be careful, all right?

Right.

I love you, booby.

Hey!

Don't you love me?

You know it, honeysuckle.

Mr. Carter?

Been a while.

Hi, Tony.
How you doing?

How or who, which did you say?

How.

'Cause if you'd asked me who,

then I'd have to tell you
that I'm not doing anyone.

But you're doing
someone, though.

Come on, Tony.

We've been through all this.

Your ex-wife is
just that... your ex.

I didn't break you guys up.

You were around.

Who are these guys?

My friends.

Didn't bring
any of your buddies?

No, i'm...

More of a loner.

Don't hurt me.
Please, Carter.

I'll leave you alone.
I promise. I promise.

Yeah?
Well, what makes you think

I don't enjoy
our time together?

You fuck!

Now,
the new day didn't begin

with a glorious dawn marking the
start of some grand adventure.

There was one cresswell
listed in the phone book,

no Mr. or Mrs.
Alongside it,

so we didn't know what we'd
find when we got there.

Not me. Not Raymond...

Not Norman.

M-M-Mrs. Cresswell?

They're around the back.

What are?

My bottles.

It's about time the city
came and got 'em.

Your bottles?

Yes, I've even sorted them
into clear and colored.

I've done all the work for you.

A little old lady like me,

you ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.

No, i'm... I'm not here for your
bottles, Mrs. Cresswell,

I'm not with the city.

I... i had a,

a city job once, but...

I was actually... I was wondering

if I might have a word with you.

Look, if you're
a jehovah's witness,

you're wasting your time,

because I've made
my peace with god,

and I don't want to change

the way I say good morning
and good night to him

at this late date.

No, no, no. I'm not here
about god, either.

Then what
can I do for you?

Well, you, um...

You had a son, right?

He was 65

and still living with his mom.

He enjoyed
his life, though.

He never went out.

Not after he left his job.

A pleasant
retirement nonetheless.

No, disability.

He slipped at work.

He said there was
grease on the floor.

I think he was just so
fat that he fell over.

But don't get me wrong.
Don't get me wrong.

I loved my boy.

I know you did.
So he... he stayed here?

He watched videos,
and he ate ribs and apple pie,

and that was his life.

I came down one morning

and found him dead
from the night before.

Tragic. What a shame.

Yeah, I can see
the tears in your eyes.

Now, what do you want?

Dave... David was
a collector, right?

Yeah.

Comic books?

Yeah, most of his life.

Do you still have them?

Sure, sure. I have
everything of David's.

See, I'm a bit
of a collector myself,

and I'd actually might be
interested in buying them from you.

Well, I'm sorry, but you
see, they're not for sale.

Well, I'm sure we could come
to some sort of understanding.

Not unless you understand

that I'm not interested.

Well, could I at least
just see what he had?

No. I don't see the point of
it, you know?

I-I'd like to know...

For my own peace of mind.

Well...

Never let it be said

that I denied anybody
his peace of mind.

Come on.

No humidity.
No light.

That's good.

God.

Goddamn it, there he goes.

This doesn't look good.

Goddamn it.

Shit!

Fuck! Shit!

Goddamn it!

Jesus Christ!
I bet you he found her!

I see... look at his face!

I bet you that son
of a bitch found her!

You know what
this about, Archie?

This is about that house

being a quarter of a mile
closer to his shop

than my fucking shop!

A quarter of a fucking mile!

What are you going to do?

I don't know!

Mrs. Cresswell?

Yes.

Hi. You just
saw my colleague?

Your colleague?

My... i mean
my partner, um, Norman.

He said I should,
introduce myself.

I don't know why.

I told him I wasn't
interested in selling them.

The comic books?

Well, what else
would I be talking about?

Well, um...

See, Norman, thought I should... i
should take a look at them.

Look, I told him,
and I'm telling you

I don't want to sell
my son's things.

And i'm...
I'm sorry for your loss,

but could I look at
the comic books anyway?

Your partner already saw them.

I know, ok, but see,

he... i'm... he's not me.
And i'm...

I'm a collector,

and your son was a collector.

And I have so much
respect for...

Collecting.

Please?

Well...

It's nice to hear
a gentleman say please.

Come on in.

Did you see them?

They're beautiful!

They're beautiful.

She won't sell,
you said. The end.

No.

That's it, Norman.

You had no right
to offer her our life savings.

We could offer her more.

We could take out a loan.

Are you high?

Maybe we could sell
that car. Who needs it?

Get something cheaper.

This is fucking crazy.

Don't swear.
I hate it when you swear.

Well, I swear I'll
walk out that fucking door

if you keep this up!

These collections have pedigree.

We could charge more,

4, 5 times more than the
comic book price guidesays.

Old lady cresswell
is sitting on a gold mine.

She don't even know it.

I saw the complete runs
of marvel's and DC's,

some of them going back
to the golden age,

and all of them perfect.

All the ecs,
all the early showcases

with the origin of the flash,

the green lantern, and the atom.

Look...

The guide says,

"$32,000. $5,500.
And $1,500."

We could charge 4 times that,

and that's
just 3 comic books, honey.

The guy had thousands.

I'm serious. Thousands.

Here.
Bedtime reading for you.

Yeah, I'll kill you
with it in your sleep,

or I'll hit you over the head.

Look, it's a gamble, I admit it.

But if it pays off,

we can expand.
You can have a kid.

We could have it all.

Norman.

Norman, honey, wake up.

What?

We have to get those comics.

What happened?

Look, man driving
bus, not funny.

Monkey driving bus,
chuckles a-plenty.

Man icing cake, no laughs.

Monkey icing cake, big laughs.

Man walking dog...

Hey.

What's with you?
Why aren't you joining in?

You usually like to take
part in this kind of stuff.

Provocative monkeys?

Yeah.
I don't know.

Excuse me
if I'm wrong. Um...

Weren't you the one who
tried to start the campaign

to get Linda Hamilton
nominated for an Oscar

for Terminator ii?

No, that was me.

I love that movie.

Me, too.

No, I was... I was just thinkin'.

About the comics at Mrs.
Cresswell's?

Um, no.

Just, like, about the town.

What about it?

You know... nothin'.

Yeah, you know, lately

a lotta stuff's
been eatin' at me, too,

drivin' me crazy.

Booby.

Hey, honey.

I was just thinkin' about you.

Yeah?

Warm thoughts, I hope.

Is there any other kind?

I brought you lunch.

How's it goin' in here?

Well...

At least another 4 months.

Really?
Why that long?

See that? It's damp.

Wall's rotten with it.

That's work I hadn't counted on.

Still I...

Wish I didn't have
to sell this place.

You know, selling them
when they're fixed up

feels good, usually,

but I don't know.
This time...

I kinda feel like I'm losin'
somethin', you know?

Really, baby?
Why this place?

I don't know.

It feels right, somehow.

Is this room gonna be the den?

If I have to sell it, sure.

But I was figuring...

That if I put insulation
in the walls...

It'd make a pretty cool
studio for your music.

What do you think?

Well, I mean, you been
bustin' your ass

to afford recording equipment.

I mean, at least now

we have somewhere
to put it, right?

We?

You and me, baby...

Till death.

Mrs. Cresswell.

Um... maybe.

I'm Judy.

Well, I'm happy
for you, darling.

No. Judy.
Norman's Judy?

The guy interested
in your comic books.

You mean my son's.

That's right.
Your son's comic books.

Um, I was wondering if
we could talk about that.

I wasn't very interested

in talking to your
husband about them.

Right. And I was
just thinking that

maybe it was the way
my Norman brought it up

that you didn't like.

You know, men.

And then there was
the real nervous one.

He said he was with you, too.

He's a liar,

a terrible, terrible liar.

A bit touched, too,
if you ask me.

So, listen, let's talk.

I mean, surely there's a way

we can come to an understanding.

Just us girls?

That's right. Us girls.

Ok.

I... i love the garden.

I'm the gardener. Yeah?

I am the gardener.Yeah.

I all but went down
on the old bitch.

Nice goin'.

You know, I offered her
15 grand?

Yeah?

And then I upped it to 20.

20 grand?
Do we... do we even have that much?

I mean, by that point,
I didn't care.

20 grand will keep this rusted
old woman until she dies,

and she still turned it down.

All right. It's ok.
Good job, sweetie.

Good try.

We'll figure somethin' out.

Yeah.

It's ok.

Hey, it's ok.
You did a good job.

I mean,
at least we're workin' together

like a team.

There was a time when
I didn't even think

our marriage was
gonna last anymore,

because we didn't have
anything in common.

Hey...

The way I feel about you now,

I know that we're gonna make it.

I do.

You know what I feel like?

Closin' early?

That's it, tiger.
Talk dirty.

So, she wouldn't sell?

Not to me.
Not to Norman.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know, arch.
All right?

Norman and his wife are gonna
come at her with more money.

I know that. More money,
and then more fuckin' money,

'cause that's...
That's their style.

I know that much.

Man, you gotta
fight fire with fire.

Fight fire with fire?

Who are you, the
punisher, all of a sudden?

I don't have any money.

I'm broke.
You know that.

No, I don't.

I guess you wouldn't.

Arch, I don't have
a nickel to my name.

I'm hangin' on
by the short hairs.

The day-to-day comic
business is in recession.

Last year was miserable.
This year is gonna be worse.

Thank god I don't have a house.

I woulda lost it by now.

But you have loyal customers.

Yeah, so does McDonalds, ok?

But they just got a couple
billion more than I do.

You know the counter?

It's gonna cost 400 bucks

to replace or repair that.

I can't... i... i...
I don't have 400 bucks.

You know how I was
on the roof last week?

The next heavy rain,
buckets aplenty

on the floor, my friend.
Buckets aplenty.

Well, why don't you
just go to Norman,

and maybe you guys could
work something out.

No... I don't know.

Man, give it a shot.

Hello.
I'm Raymond macgillicuddy.

Hello. Um...

Um... total...

Hello, sworn enemy.

That's a lovely dress
that you're wearing.

That... that's a lovely dress.

How do you do?

You're very lovely.
And your name is?

I'd like to do some business.

Waa!

Baby,
the thought of finding it...

Unh... this treasure...
It's exciting.

It makes me wet.

It turns me on.
The bed!

No, no, no, no, no.
We don't need a bed.

That's right.
We don't need a bed.

Up against the wall.
I love it that way.

You do?

Fuck me against the wall.

I love being fucked
up against the wall.

We never did it
against the wall before.

Shut up. You're
thinking too much.

Come on.

Make me come.

I know you can make me come.
I can do it.

You can make me come this time.

You hang in there.

You better hang in there!
Hang in there!

Who's my fucker?

Who's my little fucker?

I'm your fucker. You're my fucker!

I wanna be your little fucker.

Hi. I'm Raymond
macgillicuddy.

It was, not easy.

We've been across town
for so long

and never formally really...

Well, it was a long walk...

Just... just get to your proposal.

Ok, ok.

Well, I think I've
thought of a way

in which both of us can benefit

from the lady's collection...

Both?

All 3 of us.-

Both parties is what
I meant to say.

How? Well, um...

I don't have any money,

and I can't buy the books, whoa.

What'd you just say?
No money?

Yes, I'm coming to you honestly.

I'm com... i'm completely broke.

B-but what i...

What I offer is a
knowledge and an expertise

in the books themselves.

I know comics.
I know the people.

I know the real
value of the books.

And you... you can make a
tremendous amount of money,

and I'll help you,

and I don't even want a penny.

Now I've heard everything.

Well, wait.

Have you ever been to San Diego?

Have you been to San
Diego... to the convention?

I've been there.

It's the major convention, ok?

And if you go back
into the dealers room,

there's a... there's
a table on the left,

and it's up against the wall,

and that's where the
major players sit.

That's... that's... that's
where the celebrity...

The-there's a name
that you garner

by sitting at that table,

and I want to take my
place among the men

that found the white
mountain collection,

the mohawk collection,
the winnipeg collection.

I... i... we could do this tonight.

Why, we could decide.

We could have the
macgillicuddy/link collection.

I... look, I know...
I know who I am,

and I know
how people look at me.

I'm not stupid.

But if I could just
go to San Diego

and sit down at the table

and have Mike allred come up

or Matt Wagner just
pat me on the back...

Have... have gaston dominguez say,

"you... you want the danger
trails, 1 through 5?

Go to Raymond macgillicuddy.
His are pristine."

If I could just have
that quip...

It would all be worth it.

If you allow me that,

my services are yours.

That's...

That's the most pathetic
thing I've ever heard.

No money?

Jeez. I mean,
you haven't got the money,

get out of dodge.

Honey... my god, and here I am

up all night worrying
that he's gonna up the ante

and blow us away.

What I was hoping to offer was...

You sleazy creep... Honey...

Get away from my house.

Honey, there... there's no...

No, no, no, no. Honey?

No.excuse me, i...

Honey? no. No, no, no.

This fly is gonna be in our
ointment, he gets involved.

Get him outta here.

I came in a spirit of kindness.

I came in a spirit of fairness.

I told you how hard it was
for me to walk up here.

You've been a gentleman.

Your wife has been an animal.

Excuse me?
An animal?

Yes, an animal!

I think it's best if you...

I offered an olive branch!

I think it's best
that you leave, Raymond.

You know what?
It's... i withdraw my offer,

because you don't know comics!

You're a dabbler.

Why don't you go
back to your store

and sell your action figures

and your magic cards?!

Now. Now... What's your... what's your...

What's your favorite
Mac rad boyrun?

What's your favorite
Mac rad boy run?!

You can't tell me.
You can't tell me, 'cause you don't know!

You know who knew?
Elvis knew.

Elvis knew!
Ok.

You dabbler. You dabbler!
You magic card seller!

You action figure seller!

There is no need
for a commotion.

I'll make
a commotion, all right.

It's too late... It's not too late.

It's not too late.
It's just starting!

For a commotion.

Is this what you
sell at your store?

No, you stop!

Don't do it. No! No!

That's my... no! Hey!

Then for a time,
the great adventure

became the great game,
or so it seemed to me.

Norman and Judy on one side,

trying to win
Mrs. Cresswell's favor...

Aah!

Raymond on the other.

Back and forth...

Back and forth.

Unh!

Hi, Mrs. Cresswell.
Here are the groceries you wanted.

Well, you're not Raymond.
Where's Raymond?

No, I'm Archie.

Um, Raymond had his
weekly comic delivery.

He had to be back at his store.

You want the funny books,
too, I suppose?

I won't lie. If you're
gonna get rid of 'em,

I want Raymond to get them.

Well, that's fair.

What's in it for you?

I'm Raymond's friend.

That's it?

Isn't that enough?

You like funny books, don't you?

Yeah. I guess.

I buy them, and I read them.

Not really as much anymore.

Buy or read.

Why's that?

I don't know.

Um, just lately I've
been sorta thinking

that comics aren't the real world.

Like last night,
I had on CNN for a while

instead of the cartoon network.

I know that sounds stupid.

Comics aren't the real world?

Now, that's dangerous talk.

That's a nice photo.

That's me and my husband.

We were on our honeymoon.

Spain, in '48.

God, perfect!

Right after world war ii.

'48. Wow.

Why, you interested?

You're not just
giving me lip service

like Norman, right?

No, I'm interested.

Do you drink tea?

Yeah, actually, I do.

You remind me so much
of my husband.

Really?

No, of course not.
No, I guess not.

But you... you have
this real pale skin.

It's... yeah, so does
half of Sweden.

Um, so Spain, was it nice?

It was
the only time

that I ever left America.

It was... it was perfect.

It was perfect.

You talked about Spain?

Yeah. And she told me about
how her and her husband

went on a trip there once

and spent 2 weeks
traveling around.

He even ran with the
bulls in Pamplona.

Paloma. what?

That run with the bulls
is in Paloma.

No, ray,
I'm pretty sure it's Pamplona.

I mean, who's Paloma?

Isn't that somebody's daughter?

So, when did you
get around to talking

about the comic books?

Well, it just...

I didn't feel right about it,

so it just didn't come up.

So, what'd you talk about?

Well, I told you, stuff.

You know, her life.

Stuff?! yeah, stuff.

So you never thought to ask her

if she was comin' around
to selling me the books?

No, I did get around
to asking her that much.

And?

No way.

I've been reading Hemingway.

"Papa" Hemingway.

It's all because
of you, you know?

Dear, what have
I gone and done now?

It's all that talk about Spain.

The running of the bulls.

You're not reading
cliff notes now? No.

Or comic versions?

Wasn't there a comic company
that used to adapt books?

Yeah, it was called
classics illustrated.

But they did mostly older books,

like, um, h.G. Wells
and 3 musketeers.

I bet they could not
transport you like Hemingway.

Now, hold on.

There are good and bad
writers in all mediums.

Comics are just a different
type of storytelling.

You don't really
internalize as much..

Did you like that?

Wow. Internalize.

I think it's probably
the first time

I've ever used that word.

Don't you go
getting giddy on me.

You know, I didn't realize

that you needed help
gardening. I can do that.

No, that's all right.

Archie's doing great.

He used to help his mother.

Did you know that?

No, I didn't.

Yeah, um, back before she died.

How's Norman?

Recovering.

That was careless of him

not to turn off that fuse
box, wasn't it?

Right.

Well, I'll see you later.

Bye-bye.

She seems upset.

Well, not to worry.

What harm can it do?

Chocolate?

Isn't that boy toy
you got her sweet enough?

God, ray,
I'm sorry.

Broken.

Broken in 3 places.

The doctor says I might have

permanent wrist
mobility problems.

God, that really sucks.

She said her foot slipped
on the accelerator.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, sure... that happened.

Well, why didn't you
tell the police?

I mean, they should at
least know about the comics.

No, ok?

I'm not talkin' to the police.

Yeah, but that's like motive...

Nah!

Ok, this is between
me and Norman and Judy.

Now, I got my wrist fixed...

But now I'm gonna fix them!

No!

Yes. Who knows what
Raymond'll try next?

Why was it that he
didn't have me arrested?

I just want to feel safe.

Just tell me that, smarty-pants.
No!

Do you understand me?
I forbid you, ok? No.

Forbid me?
Yeah, right.

What can I do for you?

Deal me in.

I'm the one waving
the plastic today.

You need a gun?

No, garden fertilizer.

I understand.

The streets aren't as
safe as they used to be.

Yeah, not with her drivin'.

Might I recommend a derringer?

Petite, for a woman's
hand or clutch purse.

I thought it was illegal
for a guy like you

to use words like petite
or clutch purse.

Let's talk high-caliber.

The .45.

Damn it, no. Listen.

If you're gonna get a gun,

at least get a small gun.

I mean, let's
be realistic, right?

Why don't you just take a
look at this 9 millimeter?

And bullets, of course?

So, I forget which
anthology it was in,

but Larry never talks about

how Superman can never
even marry Lois.

At least, if he did,
he could never screw her.

'Cause he'd have supersperm,

which would never die
and be superstrong

and would mess up her insides.

Well,
I gotta think about this.

Why stop there?

I mean, if supes had supersperm,

then he would come
in a superspurt.

Who's to say it wouldn't shoot

right out the top of Lois' head?

Yeah, I think
he commented on that.

In the book.

The writer talks about how
Superman couldn't even jerk off,

because the sperm would
have the ability to fly.

'Cause they're
tiny versions of him,

and how they'd forever
fly around the world

looking for eggs to impregnate.

And that was
what it took.

Heavy rain and buckets aplenty

to make Raymond see...

It was time
for desperate measures...

Seniors...

And desperate men.

What are we doin' here?

I'm just gonna
go see a friend of mine.

Since when did you have
friends west of third street?

Never mind, ok? Just...

No. Since when did you have
friends west of third street,

who hang out in topless bars?

He's an old friend of mine
from high school.

He's a good friend.

So, why are you seeing him now?

What's with
all the questions, ok?!

I thought you were my friend.

I asked you to help me.

I need some help right now, ok?
Ok.

Will you help me? Ok.

I need help. Help.
Help me! Fine. Ok.

What do you want me to do?

Here. I want you
to hold this.

What?!

Are you shittin' me, man?!

Look, it's dangerous
in there, ok?

And if I come out runnin',

just, fire a shot
in the air...

Fire a shot in the air?!

Yeah. Scare 'em.

But what if they
don't get scared?

What if they shoot back at me?

Just... just...
I'll be back in a minute.

Hey, Carter.

It's... it's... it's me,
Raymond macgillicuddy.

No bells.

Come on, central high spartans,

class of '84. Whoo!

Still no bells.

Ain't she sweet?

Yeah.

That's one sweet piece

of pussy pie right there?

That's my girlfriend.

Um...

So, what do you want?

I haven't seen you here before.

Which is surprising,

'cause I see your kind
here all the time.

Well, I don't have
that many dollar bills

to throw around, unfortunately.

Which is why I came to see you.

See, some of the guys
and I from high school,

you know, we get
to talking and stuff,

and your name pops up,
and, you know,

no one really knows much
about what's goin' on,

but there are, you know...

There are rumors about you.

Yeah?

Who says what?

Well, it's...
Ok, it's not important.

What is... Whoo!
Time out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm remembering now.

I used to beat
the crap outta you.

Mackill-a-kiddie.
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, macgillicuddy.
Cuddy.

Yeah, you used to cry
when I hit you.

Kicked you in the balls
once, and you fainted.

No, i... i threw up in
front of science class,

but, um, hey,
bygones be bygones, ok?

'Cause, see, I,

think I've got some work for you.
I want... i...

I need you
to steal something for me.

What's in it for me?

Well, I can't pay you.

Good-bye.

Listen, please.
Just give me a moment.

Look... but I'll
give you a half...

A half of the profits
after resale,

and I'm talkin',
like, a lot of cash.

So what's to steal?

Comic books.

Good-bye. no! No, listen!

Just hear me out.
Now, don't... don't think...

Forget I said comics.

Don't even think comics.
Just think something

worth a lot of money.

Ok, just think... just
think the mother lode, ok?

The holy grail of comics.

Just... it's just... it is worth...

God knows what it's worth.

Million dollars, maybe more.

I used to like comics.

So, are you interested?

Do we have a deal,
or can we partner on this thing?

What's goin' on?

What did you...

I told you to wait in the car!

Well, I called
the bank about that,

and they haven't
called back yet.

They haven't called back.
You know, you can call again.

Hello, norm. Judy.

Hey.

How's it goin'?

I'm fine. Fine.

Um, do you have the most
recent Neil gaiman hardcover?

The British edition,
not the American.

Well, we had that
one, but we're out now.

You're, slow on the uptake.
That's not like you.

Well, I didn't think
I wanted it,

but I changed my mind.

Well, change is good.

Say, you take your collectin'

pretty seriously, don't ya?

You spend a lot every month.

Every week, practically.

Yeah, between here
and Raymond's store,

you must spend every
single spare cent?

It's ok.
We know about Raymond's store.

We don't really consider

his store competition.

We feel like we
offer so much more.

In fact, we like
that you go there.

Say, conan,
how would you like free comics?

Every week.
Gratis.

What would I have to do?

She said she wasn't
going to sell.

What was I supposed to do?

Do nothing, man.
You shrug your shoulders,

you walk away,
and get on with the rest of your life.

Archie, this is my life, all right?
This is my life.

And then I saw
those beautiful books,

and I saw a way I could finally
improve things. Finally.

When?

Tonight.

Don't worry, ok?
I told him to be careful

and not hurt
your little girlfriend.

Hi, conan.

Hi, guys.

This is crazy. Those lunatics
are gonna steal the books?

That's right.
This whole thing

has turned into
a sea of madness,

and we're clinging to a buoy.

A boy? You on about
having a kid again?

Not a boy. A buoy.

A life buoy.

Now I've lost
my train of thought.

Sorry. Sorry.

Clinging to a buoy
in a sea of madness.

We can make this simple again.

Why, i... i don't think
going in there with a gun

is simple.
I don't think so.

We stop the crime.

The old woman sees us do
it, and she's grateful.

How can she not be grateful?

Then we offer her
the money again.

Why don't we just tell
the cops what we know?

Then she'll be grateful to them.
Jeez, norm. God.

It's whoever she sees
doing her right.

This is too dangerous, I think.

If you do this for me,
I'll let you smoke a cigarette.

So began the long
night of twists and turns.

Though looking back,
I still wonder about Carter,

with his violent temper
and his damp walls,

why he decided
to do what he did...

And how things might
have been if he hadn't.

Is there anything
I should know about?

What?

You know, is there
anything I should know about

about you and the old lady?

Is there anything, like,
Harold and maude goin' on or somethin'?

Gross! No.
We're just friends.

Look, i... hey!
I'm not saying, you know,

it would be wrong if there was.

It's just...

You know, far be it
for me to judge.

The heart wants
what the heart wants.

You're creeping me out.

I'm creeping youout?

I'm not the one
doin' an old lady.

I'm not doin' the old lady, ok?
She's my friend.

We hang out.
We talk about Spain.

Whatever you say, Romeo.
It's just...

You don't seem happy
about this whole thing.

I'm ecstatic about it.

Just remember,
it's for the best.

The best. The best for who, ray?

Jesus. Do you
give a shit

what I think about anything?

No, you don't!

I'm like an accessory to you.

Jesus!

Carter is half an hour late.

We got here 15 minutes early.

I am sick of this shit.

Look, ok. If you're
so sick of this shit,

why don't you just go home,
back to your 4 walls and a microwave?!

Is that what you want?

Archie... come on.

Ray.

Did you say that Carter
drove a blue truck?

You did, right? Blue? Yeah.

I think I see it parked behind

Mrs. Cresswell's
house.

What?

I completely understand.

I'd be mad, too,
if I was being robbed.

But, You know,

it's kinda like
a roller coaster ride.

There's nothin' you can do,

except hang on and hope.

It's a nice house you got
here, by the way.

Are you going to kill me?

I haven't decided yet.

But I like this town.

And...

You identifying me,
you can imagine.

I'm an old woman.
I forget things.

Yeah. That's right.

You're the...

You're the drooling, old,
senile type, aren't you?

Who you trying to fool?

Your voice is clear,
your eyes are sharp,

and this house
doesn't have that,

that stale piss smell
most old folks' places do.

Yeah, you're one smart little
cookie, aren't you?

I tell you what I'm gonna do.

These are the last of the boxes.

I'm gonna load 'em up into my
truck, and...

And then I'll make up my mind.
All right?

Aah! Aah!

Freeze!

Mrs. Cresswell,
are you ok?

You're late.

Yeah? Well,
look who's early.

I figured you'd see my
truck and follow me in.

Thank you, god.
I'm so relieved. I just...

Raymond, did you hear
what he just said?

He might kill Mrs. Cresswell.

Yeah, I thought you...
I thought you might

wanna pull a double cross.

I am.

So you're gonna kill
all 3 of us then?

No, you two can walk.

You'd be implicated if you
talked, and...

Believe me, you and jail time

would be an uneasy union.

Now you can turn around

and go back out
the way you came.

Not without Mrs. Cresswell.

I'm not goin' anywhere
without those comics.

Because i... i... i would
rather be dead

than leave without those comics.

Suit yourself.

I've got the gun.

So do I.

Hold it!
Drop your gun!

You, drop the gun!

Drop the gun,
you motherfucking asshole!

Rawr!

Finally...

Someone here
who speaks my lingo.

Get away from the comic books!

Now you! Drop your gun!

Drop your fucking gun!

No! No! No!
Those are mine!

Those are mine, goddamn it!
They're not yours!

And him, him I might
have listened to.

But not you, you bitch!

What are you smiling at?

Nothing. It's just
that I thought

I was dealing with fools.

Well, now you see
differently, my friend.

No, I don't.

P-P-Put the gun down.

Come on, ray.
What are you doin'?

We're not gunmen.
We're comic book collectors.

Archie's right.
This is myhome.

And I want you out of here.

Mrs. Cresswell.

Put the... put the gun...!

Baby!

Baby, are you ok?

You shot me!

Are you ok?

Here, Mrs. Cresswell.

God. Are you ok?

Raymond, call an ambulance.

I have to go after Carter.
He's got most of the books. You coming?

She is bleeding
to death! Call 911!

She's dying, Archie, all right? There's
nothin' you can... she... she's done.

You motherfucker.

I'm goin'. Now,
are you comin' with me?

Are you with me?!

Aw, shoot.

Baby, can you walk?

Yeah.

Aah!

You're such a big boy.
Let's go, baby.

Call 911.
I can't leave her.

I'm trying to stop the bleeding.

You can walk, you think?

I am begging you!
It is not too late!

It is for her. That bitch should
have sold while she could.

You ok?

Do you know how to get to
the hospital from here?

Yeah, honey, but we're
not goin' there,

not yet. You're ok.

No, I'm hurt!

I know, but you're on your feet.
You'll live,

and if we get these
comics, you'll live well.

You and me.

What?

Mrs. Cresswell,
I need you to hold your own stomach.

I've got to get to the phone.

No. No. No.
Don't leave me.

I'm...

Done.

Why didn't you just sell?

To one or the other.
It would have been so simple.

God.

My son wasted...

Himself collecting.

He never truly lived his life.

But they were his things.
And...

I miss him so much.

Listen to me.

I want you to take the...

The funny books...

That that...

Motherfucker left behind.

I want you to go to my...

My son's room.

And in the closet.

He didn't just
collect funny books.

Mrs. Cresswell,

if only I would have
just told ray...

Hush!

I am... I was...

Getting bored anyway.

Hey, kiki.

Hey, be quiet.

It's a little
late for that.

Besides, who's around
at this hour?

Normal, careful of glass.

Shit.

Are you ok?

Now I'm bleeding in 2 places!

All right, honey. Well,
look for a rolodex,

anything that might
have Carter's address,

a phone number, even.

What a palace.

Come on, honey.

Found it.

This oughta do.
Yeah, this'll do.

It was hard, 'cause
there was all the...

The power tools and saws and...

I mean,
are you fucking the hardware guy?

Is it Carter's?

Yeah?

Yeah, I pretty much figured
he was a handy kinda guy.

Where is he?

I don't know.

You have such a beautiful body.

I saw you at the club
dancing that day.

You were so graceful.

But not when you
spread your legs.

That was... that was obscene.

That was unnecessary.

Don't like guys like me, do you?

What's it take?
Does it take money?

I've got money.
I've got some money.

You know what I could do
to you with this hammer?

You wouldn't dance anymore.

Where's Carter?

I don't know.

You're lying.

See, I wish I could
have a girl like you...

Beautiful and loyal.

I'd treat you good.

God.

I wouldn't let you
dance naked for men.

He's not worth it.

If I was your man,
I wouldn't let you be here all alone.

Where is he?

I don't know.
I don't know.

Don't lie to me!
Don't fucking lie to me!

Don't fucking lie to me!

I hate girls like you!

Where is he?!

I don't know!

Anything yet?

No.

All right, keep looking.

See, I'm startin' to feel dizzy.

Listen, we'll go to the hospital
soon, lover, ok?

I feel tingly.

Soon. Just search
the counter.

It's the first place I looked.

Keep looking!

Maybe I'll...

Look underneath.
Maybe something fell underneath.

What is it?!

The counter! I think
it broke my foot!

Aah! Honey!

Come on, honey. Just try
and wiggle it free.

No! No... aah!
No wiggling!

Please, just wiggle. I'm pinned.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Put that fire out.

That could spread.

I think I saw
a fire extinguisher.

Hurry up, honey!
It's starting to spread!

I'm coming, honey!

Damn it! I'm stuck!

Aah!

Damn lazy bastard didn't
keep the pressure up.

Hey, I'm really stuck, Judy.

Shit. Honey,
the line is dead.

All right, I'm gonna try
freeing you again, baby.

Come on.

It's really starting
to get hot, Judy. Hurry up.

Ok. I have to find
a pay phone, ok? Ok.

No. No. No.
Don't leave me here!

If you leave me, I'll burn.

It's really getting hot, Judy!
I don't wanna burn!

I don't wanna burn, Judy!

Please.

I'm sorry. Am I interrupting you?
Reading by the fire?

You fucking weirdo!

Back in high school,
you were so mean.

Weren't you, lone wolf?

You used to scare
the jocks shitless.

But you always
liked comic books.

See, that part,
that part I should've remembered.

Used to have quite a collection.

Yeah. You used
to take most of mine.

So, how'd you find me?

Your girlfriend kiki.

I went down by the club,
and she gave me a little dance.

We got to talking, and I
asked, and she told me.

What are you reading?

Avengers#4.

First modern appearance
of captain America.

I know.

That's $1,000 book you got there.
You better be careful.

The moisture
from your fingertips

is devaluing it as we speak.

Where's the rest of the books?

Still in the truck.

Catch my breath.

You know, as I was
drivin' over here,

I began remembering reading
comic books back when, and...

All the facts and figures...

About superpowers,

secret identities

we took the time to memorize.

That some of us still do.

Sometimes I think
if I woulda spent

just an eighth
of the time studying,

say, physics equations,
rather than comic book trivia,

I'd probably have won
the nobel prize.

So...

Kiki just gave me up?

She didn't even lie.
She said, "Carter?

Yeah. I'll tell you
where he is."

Sorry.

So...

What now?

What now?

I have a gun. Ok?

And my hand's
not shaking anymore.

Not now.

And I want your gun.

What gun?

Don't fuck with me!

I see you have
a gun right there!

In the back
of your pants, Carter.

Aah! Ha ha!
Ha! Slowly!

Toss it.

Ok, up. Let's go.

Why don't you lead?

Ok. You're the boss.

Watch that cable.

Motherfucker.

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Aw.

Macgillicuddy fall down.

Ungh!

Ha!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Son of a bitch!

What the fuck are you doin'?!

Son of a bitch! Aah!

Aw, shit!

Jesus!

Son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch!

If you'd only done as I
asked, we'd both be rich.

But no! No!

See, I would have been somebody.

But you...

Who... who... who were you
gonna sell 'em to?

They're comics, you ass!

I remember
them from when I was a kid.

I didn't need you.

Ok! Yeah!

You're a fucking
encyclopedia about comics.

You're the oracle of delphi on comics!
Please! Please!

First appearance of Superman.

Action comics#1.

Everyone knows that.

Batman.

Detective comics27.

Spider-man.

Spider man#1.

Wait. Wait....

Amazing fantasy15.

Golden age flash.

Flash comics#1.

Silver age flash.

Showcase4.

The human torch.

Human torch...
Fantastic four#1.

No! I am talking about
the 1940's torch.

Marvel mystery#1.

Wonder woman.

Wonder woman. Wonder woman.
Wonder woman.

Sensation1.

Wrong!

No. No. Wait.
I'm right.

It's definitely sensation1.

Wrong! Wrong!

Well, it's not wonder woman#1,

if that's what you're thinking.

What are you trying to do?

Are you trying to insult me?

Do you think I'm stupid?

I'm standing here before you.
You think I'm stupid?

Wonder woman first
appeared in all star8,

a justice society backup story.

So either you're
trying to patronize me,

or you're trying
to fuck with me,

or you're trying
to get yourself killed.

And, by the way,
you're doing a very good job.

No, wait.

And the bullets didn't
even bounce off your chest.

Hi.

Who is it?

It's me, ray macgillicuddy

what do you want?

Some polite conversation.

Drink?

Yeah.

I don't drink.

I don't smoke.

Ok.

Come on.
Come on.

My store's on fire.

It was an accident.

It's ok.

It's ok.
These things happen.

I killed a man tonight.

Me, too.

Did yours deserve it?

Yes. Yes, he did.

Did yours?

Remember that feeling?

That feeling when the
hunt became everything.

Just the comics
and us hating you

and you hating us.

And food and sex
and deep breaths,

everything felt better.

I remember food
tasting really good.

All because of comic books.

It was rude to run you over.

Yeah. I oughta...

I oughta get ya
for that one! Aah!

Whoo!

My ride's here.

I gotta go.

I've got nothing left,
and I've got no reason to stay.

Are you comin'?

The store's open late.

If they come in,
maybe they'll buy something.

It's a nice shop.

Summer was
a hot one that year.

It came about a month later,

hotter than hell.

All the worse for
the guys I knew.

They had to make the trek
to the next town

for their comic books now,

with Raymond dead
and Judy in jail.

It made me sad so few
of Raymond's customers

came to his funeral.

You'd have thought
he mattered more to people,

but I guess he knew better,

especially at the end.

When the town did get
a new comic store,

it made sense who'd run it.

Conan's mom had money.

I just never guessed how much.

Not that I cared by then.
I had money, too.

And I was long gone.

I'd done what
Mrs. Cresswell had told me.

I looked in her son's closet
and found baseball cards.

Robinson, koufax, mays, mantle,

and a million other names
I never even heard of...

Together worth more than
even the comic books.

The thing is,

I don't like baseball...

So I sold them.

Does that make me
as bad as the others?

I don't know.
I don't know.

But at least I did something

with the money,

like I think Mrs. Cresswell
would have wanted.

After all that had happened,

life and the living of it
seemed too fleeting

to waste in one place...

Or on arguing whether Superman

was stronger than the hulk.

So I traveled.

First America, then Europe...

Really taking my time at each place

learning and growing,

but always knowing where
I'd eventually settle down.

Barcelona.

They have comics here, too.

But I can't understand them.