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Every hero's journey

starts with a tragic beginning.

Give me the cash and make it fast.

Please don't hurt us.

Hey kid.

You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?

Jack.

See ya around, kid.

What?

This isn't Scott's origin story

Yes, it is.

It's clearly Batman's.

No, it isn't.

Scott's parents are still alive.

His dad's a plumber, I met him, he's a nice guy.

We begin in the last days of the majestic Monarch Theater,

but that's not really what the story is about.

This is our hero.

- No. - Oh man.

This is our hero, Scott Frakes.

Come on, Jon.

Pop culture fanatic,

comic book collector, and going nowhere fast.

That's RJ.

All-county Magic the Gathering champion

for three years running.

Little awkward with the ladies.

Ah, he'll figure it out.

Batman is the most manly character of all time.

I mean, forget Robin and all that.

Well, just Schumacher messed it up.

I know that I saw Clooney in suit nipples

and it made me seriously question

the sexual orientation of Batman.

That's Ashley, former child star.

You remember the show.

♪ It's Ashley's World

♪ Ashley's World

That went up in a ball of flames.

She's got her own way of not dealing with things.

Don't tell me you didn't read the tabloids, we all did.

Poor kid.

Batman sleeps with a different woman in every movie.

He slept with Nicole Kidman for god's sakes!

Come on, Ashley. Gabby said not to antagonize him.

Gabby's the boss lady.

She inherited the theater from her father,

but between you and me, I'm not sure she really wants it.

She's not really doing much right now.

Oh, here she comes.

And that is the difference between character development

and production design.

So what if Batman were gay?

Huh?

I don't see anything wrong with it.

Okay, well, let me ask you this.

Are you of the belief that Higgins was really Robin Masters?

Um, Robin Masters, is that the one after Dick Grayson?

You are killing me.

Magnum PI?

It had one of the '80s most handsome men.

Think his power was in his mustache.

- Tom Selleck. - Oh.

You are such a nerd.

I prefer to think of myself

as an expert on alternative media.

Okay.

Oh yeah.

You know, they really don't make enough

TV shows and movies about robots nowadays.

What about Terminator and the Transformers?

Ooh and Wall-E.

Wall-E's alright but I am talking about

one of the greatest animated movies of all time,

Iron Giant.

I mean Vin Diesel as a robot?

Best casting ever.

But since it occurred in the era of Pixar

it was like it never even happened.

And RJ, the Terminator franchise?

In my opinion, nothing but a shell of its former great self.

And don't even get me started on the new Transformers.

The cartoons are the only thing you need to watch.

Oh but back in the '80s it was a glorious Mecca

of robotics.

Short Circuit, Robocop, Terminator, Runaways,

Last Starfighter, Flight of the Navigator,

Data in the good Star Trek, don't ever forget that.

Ah there was also Rocky IV,

Screech's robot in Saved by the Bell,

Empire, Jedi, Tron.

Oh, well sort of.

There was also the Cylons on Battlestar Galactica,

Knight Rider, Not Quite Human.

The syndicated sitcom about the kid robot.

- Small Wonder. - Yes, thank you.

Hey, there I am.

I looked pretty good before I died.

Oh, sorry, spoiler alert, I die

You know what?

Forget I said anything about that.

I've been a projectionist at this theater

since I was a teenager and I've probably seen more movies

than you can even name.

In Magnum P.I., was Higgins really Robin Masters?

No.

So you know when they open?

Oh my god, so sorry I'm late on my first week.

It's just my brother's baby, it was up all night crying.

Not so much crying as shrieking

at ear-shattering frequencies.

So, this is Kira.

We're still trying to figure her out.

And I'm rushing out, I'm rushing out the door

'cause this is important to me

and it puked all over my shirt and I was like how,

how is that possible?

How can you cry, scream, and projectile vomit

all at the same time, you stupid baby?

That I love so freaking much?

I vow on the lives of my three nephews okay

that I will never be late again.

At least the baby you can, you know, if I'm late.

So, any idea when they open?

One week from today.

Like we need another one of those around here.

All money, no substance.

The lemmings who go there are just missing out

on classic film storytelling

and the superior, personal service

given by those of us who excel in the art

of picture show playhouses.

Uh, Scott.

Yeah.

Really, you really don't think he was Robin Masters?

- No. - Okay.

- If you look closely-- - No!

Now that you've met the concessionaires,

let's head across the street to Fisk Theaters.

And Derek.

Idiots.

Derek is Scott's arch nemesis,

although Scott doesn't know it yet.

We're Monarch Theaters.

We show old movies on one screen.

We're Fisk Theaters, we show sequels

and we're coming to kill ya!

- Boom! - Derek.

Derek, come over here.

What were you saying?

Nothing, Father.

Who were you talking to?

Who's he talking to?

I was just thinking out loud how I could make

this theater the very best place it could be.

Ah.

Good answer, my boy.

Now, what about that side project I asked for?

It will be taken care of before we open.

That's good.

Do well.

Sky's the limit.

Soon I will have my revenge.

Rosebud.

- Hey, aren't you Ash-- - Shut up.

Can I have your autograph?

No.

Don't do that.

Still drunk?

Maybe, I got pretty wasted last night.

Don't judge me!

What'd you do last night?

You watch the Last Starfighters for like the 300th time?

Starfighter, singular, that's why he's the last one,

and actually no.

- Really? - Really.

Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do.

Video games.

I'm just not a club or bar kind of guy.

You go to sports bars!

They show wrestling.

Okay.

Oh Scott, I hope things never change.

Here's lookin' at you, Ashley.

What?

You're the last one here?

Does it even matter?

No, it's just usually you're--

Where's Kira and RJ?

Cleaning the theater.

So they didn't clean it after closing last night.

No, I let them go home early.

Gabs I think there's some mail for you.

What is it?

Nothing.

It looks important.

It's not.

Oh yes.

So what do we have today?

You know, I still don't get the fascination with the trash.

Because we find really cool stuff.

Mm hmm.

- Like we're Indiana Jones. - And Short Round.

Yeah and like temple of the weird crap

that people live in movie theaters.

That I'd love to see on a marquee.

I think this is gonna make you smile.

Oh.

Awesome.

Why on earth would someone leave that in a movie theater?

Oh, Prince of Thieves soundtrack?

Oh that's why.

What's in the box?

It's a cooler full of lobsters.

It's not full if you ask me.

There's just two.

What kind of person leaves a cooler full of lobsters

and just goes away?

That's not even the weirdest stuff we've found.

Here you are.

They don't sell cashews by the gallon.

Someone needed a funnel to put 'em in there.

It doesn't make any sense!

You don't make any sense.

Scott Frakes.

You old SOB.

I haven't seen you in what, 10 years?

Yeah, god, it's been like,

I can't even imagine what the,

interesting placement of your dad's new theater.

Oh yeah, that.

We just figured it was an ideal spot

since there's no competition in the area.

You know, location, location, location.

God, only 10 years?

You look really, did they fix your meds?

It's that kind of mentality that keeps you

as a lowly clerk boy whereas men like me--

Have make-believe jobs working for your daddy.

Yeah you keep thinking that, Frakes.

But it's my resentment of Father,

that's what's made me into the man I am today.

Sweetheart.

Fetch me a cola.

I need a cup with three cubes of ice.

This is a Jackson.

You can keep the change.

Oh, thanks.

And douche.

Miss me?

Derek, I already told you I'm not selling.

Whoa.

Let me sweep you off your feet.

I'm not comfortable with that.

This is business, princess.

You gotta take care of yourself.

He is so creepy.

Every time he looks at me I feel like I need a rape shower.

What do you think he was doing here?

Who cares?

I'm gonna have to smudge the shit out of this theater

again when he leaves.

I can't stand that guy!

Look we both know you need me.

Give me a couple days to think about it.

Of course, that's all you have because once

we open our doors you'll be out of business anyway.

Ah!

Win-win.

Did you feel that?

That's the beginning of a new era.

I'd love for you to join me.

She's broke.

Hello?

Fanny pack guy?

Why don't you head for the hills?

Are you kidding?

I have such a crush on this man.

- Hey guys. - Hi.

Nice shirt.

Ashley, how's my bosom buddy?

That's a 1980s TV reference starring Tom Hanks and...

I dunno, some other guy.

Peter Scolari.

Buddies, is that all we are for each other?

Hey man, whatcha reading today?

Is that Batman?

Nope.

I don't know about that.

Looks like Batman.

I'm pretty sure you're gonna wanna check that.

Could be one of those episodes where he's

out of the costume.

They're called issues.

It's a good point, Scott.

He's probably right about that episode.

Do you want one for the matinee?

Just one moment.

My precious.

Here you go.

That is some lucky chapstick.

Some call me a bad boy.

Where's Kira?

Kira's working.

Yeah she is.

Go get her, tiger.

Tiger says rawr.

I'm allergic to cats.

Bless you.

How do you do that?

What?

Fake being someone's friend?

It's the one sociopathic quality of yours

I actually admire.

Thanks, I can't help it.

It just kind of flows out of me.

You share that with Dahmer.

♪ Concession stand is where it's at ♪

♪ Snacks ♪

Popcorn.

Sure.

Don't be stingy with the butter

like you are with the customers.

Oh I'm not, I'm not--

Like I am then.

You okay?

I don't pay you guys to just stand around.

Technically you do, I mean,

that's the nature of concessions and box office

is we sit here and wait for people

and there's not many customers--

You know what?

Staff meeting, in the theater, now.

Attention everyone!

We'll be opening the house in like a minute.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Guys, guys.

You don't understand about robots though.

Guys, guys!

Guys!

Guys!

I think you should just

listen to him about robots.

Concessionaires assemble.

Yeah, exactly.

I think I'm selling the theater to Derek.

Holy shit I knew it.

You can't do that!

I can't lose this job.

There are four people in the lobby, four!

I wanted to keep it the way my dad had it but

it's just not working.

I kept asking you if things were okay,

why didn't you tell me?

I could have done something to help out.

Jon, you don't have the money to make this work.

You don't just throw money at things to fix them.

What are you talking about, Gabby?

Fisk is just gonna turn this into another one

of their crap palaces.

No, they won't.

They're opening a new facility up the street.

They don't need us anymore.

They're gonna close down the Monarch for good.

It doesn't matter.

Once they open we'll be out of business anyway.

No, that's not true.

We have entirely different audiences.

If anything, their theater opening will drive business

- our way. - Yep.

This place means a lot to people.

He's right.

So I can hope you're right and then we double

our ticket sales to what, eight per screening?

Really my only options are lose everything

or sell to Derek and actually get something.

Come on.

I say we at least put up a fight.

- Right guys? - Right.

- Yeah. - Yep.

What about raising the ticket prices?

I have to sign the day before they open.

Perfect!

So you're saying there's time.

I suppose I could stall a little...

Challenge accepted!

We won't hold our breath.

So Jon, is Willow ready to go?

I'm sorry.

Let's get this place cleaned up, guys.

- Yeah great. - I'm on it!

Hey.

Oh thanks Scott!

Yep.

What?

Well what are you gonna do?

The theater's gonna close.

Never tell me the odds.

I need to go juggle a monkey up top.

Oh god, it sounded like

you were gonna blow a guy for crack.

I'm just not that exciting anymore.

Do you want me to take these tapes to the dumpster?

No, they deserve a viking funeral.

Cool.

I wish.

I lost my virginity to that song.

Gross.

Isn't it bad for the environment for you to be burning

all that stuff?

Most definitely.

It's probably not good for us to have the hot dogs

cooking next to it either, but I'm always hoping

it's something like this that's gonna give me my superpower.

It's a perfectly reasonable origin story.

Boom, see?

I mean, hell, there's one with a Nazi war criminal

who escapes to South America where he was devoured

by mutant killer bees.

Became a being composed entirely of bees.

He was a bad guy.

You are taking this surprisingly well.

Well, died a long time ago, so.

No, I mean about the theater.

Oh god, no, I'm not taking that as well.

You know sometimes it takes a drastic event

to provoke action.

Pa Kent had to die before Clark went

to the Fortress of Solitude and embraced his destiny

as a hero.

Who's Clark Kent in this scenario?

- Gabby. - Me.

Scott.

You're avoiding reality.

Hey.

What're you doing?

Avoiding reality.

It's a CBQ.

Cool.

Oh look, Hanson.

How did Derek even find out about this?

He must have sensed a disturbance.

You ever notice how Derek sounds like Dalek?

So what do you guys think that she's gonna do?

I just know that I'd rather burn this theater

down to the ground with me inside it

then let Derek have it.

That's a little dramatic, isn't it?

Was it dramatic when Morpheus armed the EMP

at the end of the Matrix?

When Kirk blew up the Enterprise

to incinerate a few Klingons?

When Pee Wee saved all the animals from the pet shop fire?

Lil bit.

Whatever.

I would be worried if I thought that you were serious

and that you were actually going to follow through

with anything, but I'm not concerned.

Okay, bye guys, it's been fun.

Wait Ashley, let's hang out together.

Serious, you're not serious?

You know I think I would have went with the moment

where Ripley blows up the Nostromo

just to kill the one single alien.

Damnit!

In every movie theater

you have these kids.

Hell, I used to be one of them.

Kids.

Oh.

Is this an R rated movie?

What if we show every superhero movie

starting with Superman and the Mole Men

and then working our way towards the present?

- That's a good idea. - Yeah.

But you're gonna get distracted before you even start it.

What?

No, I won't.

Yeah, you're right, I don't know you at all.

So you agree.

Excuse me, concessionaires?

Matt, I thought I told you guys no more costumes

in the theater.

The whole codpiece debacle during Labryinth

was the last straw.

But I like it.

We're just trying to add some ambiance to this dump.

Nice one Billy Ray.

We'll have two drinks, one large ranch soda,

one small buffalo wing soda, and an extra medium cup of ice.

You know the saying, no shirt, no shoes, a cape,

no service.

Ashley!

But this is not a cape, this is a cloak.

Well whatever it is it's gotta come off.

We can't have D and D warfare in here.

We don't want to anger the wrong type of cleric.

Unfortunately for you, I fight my own battles.

Dude, I am not in the mood to deal with you right now.

Ashley!

Thank you Mr. Fuji.

Thank you.

- Billy, Billy Ray! - That's my dice arm!

Billy Ray!

Dropped your tribble.

Wait til later.

There you go.

I shall have my revenge, concessionaires!

Frakes!

Frakes?

Scott Frakes?

No, Jonathon.

Of course Scott.

We have a common enemy.

There's nothing common about our enemy.

Would you like to aid in the destruction of Scott Frakes

and that shithole theater he works in?

Join me.

Haven't seen Doug around the comic shop for a while.

Phantom Zone's not the same without him.

Yeah, I mean he's had a baby and he has a toddler,

keeps him pretty busy.

He did not waste any time after high school.

Yeah well I mean you guys did graduate

like 10 years ago so...

I mean yeah, no no no, he just like totally rushed into it.

This is what I'm saying.

Do you think that they're really gonna close down

the theater 'cause I really need this job.

It's more than just a job, Kira.

Yeah it is, it is a way of being, but it is a job

that pays money and that is good.

Oh, this is the girl.

Oh Heather?

She's too good for me though.

We seem to be made to suffer, that's our lot in life.

Theater's closing, kid.

We ran out of chances.

Hi RJ.

Hi Heather.

Oh, what, is it time?

Yep, gonna...

So, can I help you with anything?

Uh yeah, can I have a cherries and cream soda

and a small popcorn?

Sure.

Here's your popcorn.

So.

You're here to see Willow.

Yeah, I used to watch it

all the time with my older brother.

"Don't call me a peck!"

I didn't call--

Oh, you're quoting the movie.

Help me.

You know if you're not doing anything later then

I was thinking maybe you could come and sit with me?

Unclog toilets need to someone poop.

Um... okay then.

Unclog toilets?

Anything else would have been sexier than that.

RJ.

I just froze up.

Holy shit that was brutal.

I just don't know what to say.

Well this won't do.

Okay, homework assignment.

Watch as many smooth guy movies as possible

start Casablanca and Top Gun and pepper in

anything Cary Grant.

Oh I love the way they talk in Princess Bride.

Yeah, and Shaft, 'cause Shaft is one bad-ass mother--

Shaft, got it.

You need to just accept the theater is being sold.

Really?

When the world's being a bitch sometimes

I like to let out a good scream.

Like Ned 18 at the end of The Phantom Menace.

Because it was well, you know, the Phantom Menace.

When Old Yeller died.

Been doing it my whole life.

I get it, you scream a lot at movies.

Not just at movies.

There was also the day that Batman died.

Batman died?

Not really, he was just lost in time,

but I didn't know that then.

Screaming seems to help.

I just think Gabby's being selfish.

Don't you dare accuse her of that.

Do you have any idea how exhausting it is

to fight a constant uphill battle for your dreams?

Do you?

Well you've seen movies where people have,

so picture that.

I don't know what's worse, never getting your dream

or getting it and losing it in the most mortifying,

soul-crushing way.

We're not talking about Gabby anymore.

No.

You know I think you should let out a good scream.

Come on.

No, really, come on, go for it.

See?

There you go.

There you go.

Let it all out.

There's a lot in there.

I can tell.

I always thought that by the time I was near 30,

I would be doing something different with my life

then I was doing at 18 and at 13 and at six.

What do you wanna do then?

I don't know.

I can tell you who Zorn from the X-Men really was

but real life, not my area of expertise.

Hell, Wolverine, Superman, McClane, Riggs, Terminator.

They were all there for me.

Some people in my life weren't.

I can see them.

I know them better than I know myself.

That was almost philosophical.

Everything I needed to know about life I learned at six.

You can't make a living doing that, so.

What about you?

I have no idea.

I guess I just wish I could start over.

So do all who live to see such times.

But that is not for them to decide.

All we have to decide is what to do

with the time that is given us.

Gandhi?

Gandalf.

I thought you might start seeing things my way.

I guess the price is right.

So come on down!

Now before we handle the matter of your payment

I do have a few tiny little errands for you, okay?

Hey, Larry.

Excelsior, Scott.

I was just talking about you.

You're never gonna guess who showed up.

Derek.

How'd you know?

My scar started to hurt.

What the hell is that?

Well I'm finally retiring.

I owe my wife a trip to Hawaii for like 30 years.

Holy cow.

I mean it's great, you know, you deserve it,

but where am I gonna get my books every week?

Well you could always try Android's Lair.

Gross, they don't even alphabetize.

Anyway, do you know the going market price

on Silver Age stuff?

Well, what do you got?

A few first appearances.

I need the cash.

Are these the ones that your grandfather gave you?

Yeah, but he just thought they were fun.

He never really paid attention to how much they were worth.

Yeah well things are only worth the value we put on 'em.

I mean, fun's a pretty high value.

Yeah.

Yeah there's a pretty decent market these days.

All the guys who were reading those as kids

are getting ready for retirement.

I mean I can definitely put the word out.

How much do you want for 'em?

Oh god.

I don't know.

Some of 'em are worth a lot, so...

Scotty, are you sure you wanna part with these?

Yeah.

Look, if somebody's interested

just tell them to find me at the theater.

If the price is right, I'll sell 'em.

If not, maybe not.

I'm just trying to explore my options.

Okay.

Magic tournament in back.

Newbies?

- Mm hmm. - It's on.

Why do you think we're always the first to arrive?

Because it's summer break and we have no lives.

We could go out and party and get wasted if we wanted to.

So be like Ashley?

Yeah.

Why are you eating stale popcorn?

Free lunch, and dinner.

Also a good source of fiber.

Greetings, true believers.

Come on in.

Oh hey, clean out the theater before Gabby gets here.

Kids.

How did you know we would be here?

Dude I was your age once, I get it.

Sneaking into an R rated movie,

it's like a rite of passage.

First you're just excited 'cause you're doing something

you're not supposed to be doing,

you're hoping to catch a glimpse of some boobies

or something but you're coming to realize

it's not about the rating, it's about seeing

a real movie in a real movie theater.

Sitting alone in the dark with your popcorn,

sharing an experience with a room full of people.

Maybe the seat's broken, maybe the floor's a little sticky,

but when those coming attractions come on

and the lights go down, none of that matters anymore.

You're instantly transported to another time,

another country, another world.

It's magic.

It's magic that fills the screen, it fills the theater.

It just fills your soul.

It's magic, man.

So yeah, I get it.

Dude.

I just wanna see boobies.

I like what he said.

What you said, it sounds cool.

Alright well Clockwork Orange is a little too advanced

for you, but come back at eight for Jaws, it's on me.

Thanks so much, sir.

Sir.

Why so serious?

There's not much in there today.

I wish I could find stuff I could pawn, that would be cool.

Well I got the only cool thing today.

Why, what did you, what?

Where does that even, wait, does that fit you?

Probably?

Put it on.

I have an idea.

Is this racist?

This feels a little racist.

It's definitely not not racist.

How much you make?

Hundred bucks.

$150 in damage.

I'm going to tear them apart from within.

If I may ask, my liege.

Why do you plan on destroying the theater?

Yeah, I mean it's a pretty cool place.

I mean aside from Frakes.

Frakes!

Frakes is reason enough.

Anything he cares about, I must destroy.

He must suffer until his last breath!

Give this to our mole.

He's a little over-dramatic, isn't he?

I mean he doesn't really want us to kill him, does he?

- No, of course not. - Oh good.

He's gonna reserve that for himself.

That was amazing.

Did you like it?

I did, I actually did.

It reminded me so much of--

How could you?

What the hell are you doing in here?

Father.

Why did I bother giving you a corner office with windows?

How do you get any work done in the dark?

The light hurts my eyes.

I'm meeting with the owner of the Monarch Theater

to discuss our offer.

Just do what needs to be done.

And turn on a goddamn light.

Of course, Father.

Old fool.

He knows nothing of power!

And love.

Rosebud.

Did you really start keeping a tabloid scrapbook?

Yeah, my therapist said it would be a terrible idea

which is why I'm doing it.

Yeah, I always recommend pointedly defying someone

who specialized in mental health.

Yeah, me too.

Really helps heal over that adolescent scar tissue.

I know you don't like to talk about it.

For what it's worth, I think it's shit

that he didn't get any backlash.

He was the adult, not to mention the married one.

Troubled slutty teenage star is a much more interesting

headline than adulterous has-been TV dad.

So that's it?

I dunno, maybe do a web-series.

Okay, community theater?

Theme park.

Porn, theme park porn!

Do monologues, be Derek's personal jester.

All of the things that I have said

involve public performances.

I will murder you.

I know.

Hey.

So what's the plan?

I don't have a plan.

I am without plan, I am planless.

Maybe it's better this way,

this way it's out of my hands.

It's like destiny.

What's after Jaws, Teen Wolf right?

Nope, Harold and Maude.

Something wrong with the Teen Wolf print

so that is not gonna work out.

What happened?

Maybe Teen Wolf decided to let destiny run its course

so that way it didn't have to make any decisions on its own.

Maybe Teen Wolf didn't know what it wanted.

Well maybe Teen Wolf should have had a conversation

with the other movies before it got too late.

Because now it's not just about Teen Wolf,

it's messing everybody else up too.

That's not true!

Teen Wolf and the other classics will find

other places to play.

That's not the point.

Teen Wolf and the other movies had a home here!

It's as much theirs as it is yours.

Its, alright, you should have consulted them

before deciding the fate of their home.

Jon, I'm sorry.

Don't apologize to me!

Apologize to Teen Wolf.

I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore!

Look, I've made my choices, I'm good.

Come up with a plan, Gabby, be with a plan.

Be planful.

I should have sold this place as soon as I got it.

Well why didn't you?

I get it.

Movies were how I connected with my dad too.

Yeah.

My dad died of a heart attack when I was younger,

but even before then we never really had much in common

except we both loved old silent comedies.

Chaplin, Lloyd, Buster Keaton.

Those characters in those movies, they just went for it.

And even when they failed it just made it a better movie.

I think it's because they failed so miserably,

that's why we cheer for them so hard in the end.

Look Gabby, don't wait for someone else

to give you the answers, especially not me.

You don't need to listen to anyone else.

Unless of course it's Hal Ashby.

Reach out, take a chance, get hurt even

but play as hard as you can.

Or else you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.

At ease.

My two favorite customers.

Got something for you, Scotty.

Wait, no, don't you have kids or grandkids?

They don't like comic books.

That's the heartbreaker.

Tell you what.

On the house.

Thank you, but we can't.

Comics for food, it's like the old days of bartering.

We're not that old, but I'll take them anyone.

Ray.

Would you please let me get something for free once woman?

Enjoy the movie.

That was really sweet.

You're great with the customers.

Yeah, some of them.

But a bunch of them I just want to hit in the face

with a pick ax.

Oh, are your chocolate raisins 70% cacao?

And he's like wa wa wa!

What do you mean you're screening L'Avventura

with the English subtitles?

I mean how are we supposed to focus on the symbolism

of the camera movements and the allegories

if we're too busy reading subtitles?

Hi, I have a free popcorn, no wait, that's a car wash.

And then he goes to do this jump kick and whoop!

You guys take PayPal?

When are you guys gonna show Navy SEALS?

We need to see some man meat.

Why can't we just get a normal soda?

Take your shirt off.

And your pants.

How dark does it get in the theaters?

You people need to change the rating on

Passion of the Christ, Jesus Christ gettin' his skin

flayed off for our salvation is just what

these bad ass kids need to see today.

Do you know how to tie a tourniquet by chance?

Your job's not that hard, you work at a movie theater!

Oh no.

She's just passed out, right?

Kira.

Wish we weren't getting so good at this.

Shame there's no "friend of junkie" Olympics, we'd take gold.

- On your three. - Three.

She's not a junkie.

Gabs, do I really need to be the asshole

and point out how bad she is?

Well maybe we can get her on one of those reality shows

for child stars and get America to vote for her or whatever.

No, she just took some medication

that didn't agree with her.

Not on black tar heroin yet, but come on, look at her.

She's not dealing.

And I'm not an expert at customer service,

but she passed out in front of the customers.

One, two, three.

Not to mention our impressionable employees.

They don't even notice.

Then you're not paying attention.

I'm worried about her.

You need to talk to her.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey I'm so excited that you guys are so in love

but just try to keep it PG in there.

I'm warning you two.

It's just that this theater has some really

unusual policies, so.

Why don't you mind your own business, Twilight?

Okay well thank you for making that so easy.

Hey is everything okay?

I'm really worried about her.

She'll be okay in a little bit.

Oh hey Scott there's a guy in a suit

that's looking for you.

Are you Mr. Scott Frakes?

I am.

Are you here to recruit me for S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Do I look like Dum Dum Dugan to you?

Nice.

And yeah, kind of actually.

What's this about?

I been told you have something for sale.

Yes.

Would you like to see the merchandise?

Very much.

What was Batman's first weapon of choice?

Gun.

Batman's first city?

New York.

Why did Jason Todd die?

Joker killed him.

That's how, not why.

You know what?

Never mind.

You sure?

I can make it worth your while.

I'm sure you can.

I just can't do it.

Very well.

What do you dork wads want?

Ooh, a Snickers.

Vengeance.

I've told you a million times,

we're never gonna play hentai.

Ooh, what's hentai?

- Animated tentacle rape. - What?

Someone should put a muzzle on you, you rabid dog!

There's more decency across the street at Fisk Cinema!

- Yeah Fisk! - Someone get

this walking billboard out of here?

Two tickets please.

Nope.

Um, that'll be $16.

What's that?

An offer you can't refuse.

I was gonna say that!

It's an offer you can't refuse.

More raspy.

It's an offer you can't refuse.

No don't don't that is not, boundaries, bubble.

Did I miss anything exciting?

We've got a G rated movie playing

and this young couple steaming it up NC-17 style down there.

What are you gonna do when the theater closes?

I don't know.

We're one of the only theaters I know of still using film

and even we use digital more often than not.

I mean this job used to be an art form, it was a craft.

Now Kodak went bankrupt and movies are all ones and zeroes.

A 14 year old could do my job better than I can.

Oh, yeah.

So you and Ashley connect?

Oh.

I'd like to stay clap free.

Dude she's great and you know it.

You gotta lock that down.

What?

Lock that down, isn't that the phrase?

Not even, no.

You gotta lock that shit down like, you gotta,

if you like the thing maybe you should put the ring

- on the fing. - No, no no, no.

No, no?

Look, coming from someone who is you plus a few years,

don't let the girl get by you.

Ooh, did some little filly break your heart?

It wasn't Frieda Felcher but yeah, it was a while a go.

Well if it makes you feel better this theater's

kinda like your mistress

And we're your bastard family.

Dude.

You gotta make a move.

I don't even think that she would want--

No I'm not just talking about her.

You gotta find your thing.

It doesn't matter if it's saving this theater

or dating Ashley or building a robot.

Find your thing and go for it.

What about you?

Oh me?

I'm screwed.

No, you...

You just got finished telling me how you don't even know

how you would move on and then

you're getting on me about it?

Dude I am about as relevant as what is inside

that film canister, but I'm not gonna wallow in it.

I gotta figure it out, so do you.

Gotta find your thing, man.

You know what my thing is right now?

Messing with those kids.

Ooh I want the red one.

Red one sucks, bad arc, take the blue.

Thanks Scott.

RJ.

Thanks.

So we doing the swat or the bullrush?

Swat.

On your six.

Concessionaires, roll out.

Twilight this, Twilight this!

Break it up.

Woo!

I'm gonna tell your manager, man.

That'd be me.

Come on, I heard the theater across the street

is better anyway.

It'd be cheaper to rent a hotel room for an hour.

Sorry everybody.

Enjoy the show.

Oh god, that was great.

Remember how many teenagers we got

when we were screening The Notebook?

Jon.

Someone call an ambulance!

Something's wrong with Jon!

So there it is.

Told ya I died.

Jon!

Congenital heart defect, same as my dad.

Guess I had it all my life.

Roll credits.

I don't even know what to say.

I've known Jon a long time.

He was like a...

He was my friend.

He did not feel the sacrifice a vain or empty one.

And we will not debate his profound wisdom

at these proceedings.

Of my friend, I can only say this.

Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels,

his was the most... human.

Goodbye old friend.

Gabby, do the deal with Derek.

We're done here.

Think I'm doing the right thing?

If it makes you happy then yes.

That's what I keep on telling myself.

Then keep doing that.

And then what?

Then the bucket list.

Taj Mahal, Colosseum, Zihuatenejo.

I don't know that one.

You know it's the place where Tim Robbins

and Morgan Freeman meet at the end of Shawshank.

That place looked like heaven to me.

That's a really good one.

I don't know, I just wanna leave and not know

where the next day is gonna take me.

Like the Incredible Hulk.

You've been spending too much time with Scott.

Tell me about it.

You like him.

Doubtful.

You do.

It's like back in the day when you were obsessed

with Tim Daly from Wings.

Tim Daly.

Scott's a good guy, he might surprise you.

The only thing that surprises me

is how obnoxious he is.

Whatever you say.

Tim Daly.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

- Hey. - Whoa.

Charming spot you picked here.

So I wanted to talk with you.

Okay.

You've been really nice to me and now that

with everything that just happened with Jon,

I've just been thinking that I don't wanna do this anymore.

You don't wanna do...

You don't wanna be a hero for your family anymore?

You don't wanna swoop in from the sky

and save the house for Doug?

I mean, you've only known these guys a couple of weeks.

I thought family came first for you.

You know I can see you're in a tough spot so no problem.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

Oh that's great.

You are not as terrible as everybody says you are.

So sweet of you.

Everybody says you're the worst.

But you're, like smarmy and, you're not.

What a great guy.

Thank you.

So just get me the money back and we're square.

Okay well I don't have all of it right now

but I can get you some of it.

You don't have my money anymore?

You wanna be released from our contractual obligation

but you don't have my money?

How did you think this was going to work?

I don't have all of it.

So you jumped in your Datsun tonight and drove over here

underneath a freeway to meet me thinking you were

just gonna say "I'm out and I wouldn't want the money back?"

- No. - I can pay installments.

No.

Did you ever take like an economics class or maybe

read a book?

You can't just back out of it!

So if I tell you to plant a bug in your friend's theater,

you put a bug.

If I tell you to go get me a sandwich you say

how much mustard.

This is how it works.

Do you understand?

I own you.

Scott!

- Hey Frakes, Frakes, Mr. Frakes - Hey, hi Scott!

Hey just wanted to thank you for taking care of my sister.

It's really great.

Yeah I thought you'd have a family by now.

Don't wanna end up like that old guy at the theater.

You have really nice hair.

You look good.

You don't wanna end up like that old guy at the theater.

I don't understand your shirt.

Is that a person?

I thought you'd have a family by now.

You'll be okay.

Don't wanna end up like that old guy at the theater.

Nice hair.

You don't wanna end up like that Jon guy.

Fisk Cinema opening in two days!

Two days! Brand new state of the art!

Hey Scotty.

Jeez Grandpa.

You're like a ninja.

Oh.

Tell me, did you go out with your friends today?

No, I didn't feel like it.

What's that?

Oh just something I wanted you to have.

Whoa.

Shouldn't these be in bags and boards?

Well if they were I couldn't read them.

I can't take these.

These are special.

Oh these comics are very special.

But the real story is how I got them signed.

- Did I ever tell you-- - A few times.

Well, Gil and I, you know, Gil ended up

being the best man at my wedding.

We heard they were doing a signing down at the store

so we came up with a plan.

State of the art!

This isn't your grandfather's theater.

Make sure the story of your life

is worth telling.

Thanks.

What's going on here?

Needed to make a change.

By selling all your stuff?

You love your comics.

I realized there's more to life than that.

Such as?

I ran into Doug and his family.

Doting husband, the loving wife, gaggle of kids.

My god, I don't want that.

This is what I want, this theater.

And I'm gonna save it.

Excuse me.

So I see you're really doing it.

Hope it's not too late.

Take it easy, night owl.

Hey.

Holy moly.

You've got the debuts of Spiderman and the X-Men?

Silver Age versions of Flash and the Green Lantern?

Oh my stars and garters.

That's the first appearance of Joker.

Are you sure you wanna do this?

I mean they were your grandfather's legacy.

No.

Those aren't his legacy.

He loved comics and that got me started on comics

and that's a gift that keeps on giving.

I need to get out of my protective bag and board

and take a risk with my life for once.

He lived a full life and read comics.

That's my grandfather's legacy.

I think that's very astute of you.

Thanks.

Hey, so those guys you know.

Think they'd still be interested?

Oh, I know they would.

I'll call 'em again.

Great.

Hi RJ!

Greetings, earthling.

You beautiful babe from England

for whom I've traveled in time.

Would you like some comics?

Yeah, can you show me something in a She-Hulk?

As you wish.

I love Princess Bride.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

Well you know me, it's my duty to please that booty.

- Uh... - Oh.

Thank you?

As you wish.

You're funny.

My friends and I were thinking about maybe coming back

to the midnight showing.

Maybe you wanna join us?

You know that is if the toilet situation is

under control and everything.

As you wish.

Okay.

Crap.

What is it with you and poop?

Jesus!

You're stealthy.

I hear you've reconsidered my offer.

I have.

Scott, what are you doing?

He's just here for this.

- Fan vote. - What?

It's why Jason Todd died.

Google.

Actually no.

My boss knew.

Everything seems to be in mint or near mint condition.

My employer has authorized me--

Employer.

That's fancy.

Offer you this.

I didn't know comic books were worth that much.

Of course we are willing to negotiate

if you feel this isn't a fair price.

How much if I keep the Batman?

Considerably less.

Ah, okay, never mind.

What do we do now?

Frakes won.

He tasks me.

As long as there is breath in my body,

Scott Frakes has won nothing!

Gather up the SFRS.

Gather who up?

The SFRS.

No, no.

Super fast roller skates.

No.

Sordid friends really suck.

You're better than this.

Who were we just talking about?

- Scott Frakes... - Rainbow...

The Scott Frakes Revenge Squad.

Oh.

The what?

Find me people who don't like him.

- Oh. - Right here.

Other people who don't like him.

- Go! - Oh, oh!

This is awesome.

Yeah, yeah it is.

Okay come on, let's lock this up.

We saved the theater!

- Hey! - Scott saved the theater!

How?

He did it, he sold some of his old comics!

Scott.

Are you sure you wanted...

No need to sell to Derek now.

I think our troubles are over.

Partner.

I'll lock it in the office today

and take it to the bank tomorrow.

Yes!

Scott!

Selling your grandpa's comics, that must have been hard.

And speaking of guys I hate.

Ching, deflected.

I'm here to offer a truce.

Rosebud.

What are you talking about?

I'm extending an olive branch.

Let's put an end to all this destructive conflict.

Yeah right, what's in it for you?

Altruism, generosity, Rosebud.

Why do you keep saying Rosebud?

You know.

What the hell are you talking about?

You know!

Oh seriously?

That's locked!

My dear nerds!

We have amassed on this eve to exact our vengeance

on a man who has undoubtedly mocked us all!

Scott Frakes thinks himself superior.

Thinks himself a superhero.

Thinks he's seven feet tall

and shoots lightning bolts out his arse!

This coming from a man who betrayed his best friend

on the lowest level imaginable!

Tonight, we destroy Scott Frakes!

I'll throw in free concessions.

Ooh!

You have been tasked with finding a legion

sympathetic to our cause!

Seriously, go find people to pay to cause some chaos.

Go!

Go!

The liberation of the Monarch has begun!

Ha!

Whew!

Yeah.

Feel good about that.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

One please.

It's on RJ.

Oh, thank you.

That's really sweet.

I'm just trying to give him better odds

than an ice cube's chance in hell.

Oh.

It's not me though, I swear to god.

Hi, may I please have a peanut butter and jelly soda

and a small popcorn?

Of course.

Ah, this one's on RJ.

That's so sweet.

Where is he?

I haven't seen him, but I'm sure

he's around here somewhere.

Okay, thanks anyways.

Go.

I didn't know you were so popular.

Yeah.

Well I and my many, many, many friends thought we'd stop by

and soak up the ambiance and help you

celebrate your big success.

Hold up, how did you even know?

In fact, I thought maybe we could toast

to celebrate our new alliance.

Diet cola, right.

Two.

- Kira, no, you don't have-- - Yeah she does.

Comfortable silence, old friends.

Just, pew!

Whoops!

- Really? - Yeah.

Shh.

Cheers, old friend.

This one's on me.

Cheers, dickhead, I get them for free.

Charming.

Oh Gabby.

I was wondering if we could maybe go up to your office

to discuss a little counter offer.

I don't think I need to anymore.

Surely there's something I have to offer you.

You're still talking business, right?

Why don't we go to your office and talk about it?

You first.

I love watching her walk upstairs.

Thank you for showing up.

I invited you.

♪ Who's the smart girl that always gets her nerd ♪

♪ Heather ♪

♪ You're darn right ♪

Hmm.

What's wrong with you?

Just need to go to the bathroom.

You're fine.

You don't look fine to me.

It's really a shame you wouldn't take me up

on my dinner offer.

Let's just stay on business.

Fair enough, for now.

I'm aware that Scott has recently come in

to a largish sum of money, so we're prepared

to make a counter offer.

Fly away.

As you can see it's very generous.

So you can give Scott his money back.

Just imagine all the time wasting

he could do with that cash.

Yeah.

So what do you say, Gabs?

Why struggle to maintain this lifestyle

with all that looming specter of debt just?

Your life is waiting for you, Gabby.

These castles are waiting for you.

Carpe deez nuts.

That's grab life by the balls.

Trademark, hashtag merch.

Pull it together man.

Psst.

What the hell is going on?

Look in the trash can.

Trash can?

Yes.

What's up?

You're killing my mojo.

It's Scott, he's been in there a while.

- Just... - Okay, I'm on it.

I apologize.

My transporter ring appears to be malfunctioning.

What are you talking about?

I'll deal with you later.

Okay.

You know what I'm talking about.

Vixen of my heart.

But Rosebud, let's finish this.

Scott, wait!

Dress as sidekick Cub.

Apparently I'm Cub.

I'm sorry Cub, this is one fight I must do alone.

Scott's lost it.

He said he wasn't feeling well,

I thought he just had diarrhea and then out popped

hobo Batman.

It's like he... shit!

What?

Someone drugged him!

If he gets hurt, I am not, can you excuse me?

Can you go get him?

I'm gonna find Gabby and just get Kira!

Okay, excuse me.

What are you maniacs doing?

This looks really good but I could never

change the name of the theater.

Oh I'm sorry, that's not negotiable.

Neither is the anti-phrase clause, it's page four.

The whole thing.

- Gabs, it's Scott. - Scott?

Among other things.

You need to come now.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

Yeah yeah run run I'm right behind you.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Hello precious.

My sins have come back to haunt me.

Rosebud.

That was amazing.

Did you like it?

I did, I actually did.

- It reminded me so much of-- - How could you?

Derek?

How could you?

What?

You betrayed me.

Your my girl, you're supposed to end up with me.

We went on one date two months ago!

My friend Scott takes my girl to a comic book movie!

It's the biggest betrayal of them all, Scott!

I can't tell if you're jealous of her or me.

We were never together, it was one date.

Fine, go play your hopscotch,

but you're gonna rue this day!

Rue this day?

Who even talks like that?

I do Frakes, I talk like that!

She's my Rosebud, Scott, you're my Rosebud.

Rose, my name is Rose.

It creeps me out when you call me that.

Thought it was, like, sweet.

Derek, I'm sorry.

- I didn't mean to-- - No don't pity me!

Don't, don't laugh at me either!

You know I vow I will have my revenge on both of you.

From hell's heart I shall stab at thee.

For hate's sake I will spit my last bread at thee.

You will bow down before me and so will your heirs!

You're not gonna be DM anymore?

Never!

This ends tonight.

Never!

Sup?

Sup.

Put this on it, Cub.

More like Spiderman.

Ashley, Ashley.

- The briefcase is gone. - What?

I didn't lock the office door when I ran out

and someone took it.

Derek!

How can we prove this?

I'm gonna sell the theater to Derek

and I'm gonna pay Scott back what I can.

What?

I did not sign up for always smelling like

stale popcorn and plunging toilets

and hallucinating employees--

Great, let's run away from here.

I'm not running away, I'm moving on.

I know.

Do you, Ashley, do you know the difference?

Yeah Gabby, I do.

This coming from the girl who habitually blacks out?

I took some medication that didn't agree with me.

That is bullshit and you know it.

What are you trying to say?

I'm saying you have a problem!

I'm not a junkie.

Is that what you really think of me?

Who are you to judge me like your life is some perfect

paradigm of independence and strength?

It took Clark Kent dying for you to go

to the cave of aloneness!

Actually it's the Fortress of Solitude.

Ah!

Ashley--

Careful, I wouldn't want to drag you down with me.

And it was Jonathon Kent who...

You know, it's not important.

Does this mean I'm dead?

No dude.

I'm still dead.

But you don't look dead.

How's this?

Sup?

What the hell is going on?

Come on!

Alright, first things first take that thing off your head.

I can't take you seriously like that.

Secondly, you been drugged, dummy.

Like Batman Begins?

Yeah sure whatever.

I'm not really here.

This is all going on inside your head.

Your subconscious is imagining me.

Wait, I sold all my dearly possessions

to save the theater.

I saved the theater!

Why don't I feel better?

Well the old man's gone, I'm gone,

Ashley and Gabby are leaving.

Yeah?

Look if you don't get it, I can't explain it to you.

Then why did you come back from the gravely plane

if you can't explain it to me?

Are you serious?

I'm not, I didn't come back.

Fine, yes, I am back, I am back from the gravely plane.

So cool.

Hey Ashley, how you doing?

Oh hi, little busy.

I can relate.

I worked a full 32 hours at Target this week, I am beat.

Think I'm gonna treat myself to something special.

Maybe Applebee's.

Maybe Chili's if I'm feeling fancy.

Hey, have you seen Scott anywhere?

Nope.

You guys having a little tryst?

Of course not, you know it's always you and me.

Whoa, nelly, look.

I didn't mean to lead you on.

You're pretty and all but with your obvious drinking problem

you're not exactly the type of girl I can take home to Mom.

Literally, I live with her.

So I'm gonna hit the road.

To Perdition.

It's a 2002 film reference starring Tom Hanks

and some guys in hats so.

You'll find somebody.

I will say this though, film canister was a nice touch,

I did like that.

Why do you want to save the theater?

Is it because you love the building so much?

Or because it allows you to not have to move forward

with your life?

Or maybe there's another reason it means so much to you.

Another reason.

Search your feelings.

Sorry dude, your face though.

Alright, big question.

What and who are you saving the theater for?

I don't know.

Yeah you do.

Because if you didn't know the answer

I couldn't ask the question.

Uh, I wanna save the theater for the films.

And to battle the evil corporations.

To find my thing.

Dude, don't be so literal.

Hey.

There you are.

I just got turned down by fanny pack guy.

You believe that?

Talk about a low point.

I found my thing.

His thing, like his penis?

Is he gonna be okay?

He'll be okay, I've seen worse.

I bet you have.

Is this what I look like?

You drool a little bit more.

Ashley, about what I said--

No, you were right.

I was hiding.

It's not that my dreams went away, it's that I did.

Well you keep on telling me to hit the road.

I think you should get back on the horse, you know,

metaphorically speaking.

I miss it a lot.

Maybe I'll do a blog, or maybe I'll do community theater.

Or something.

I'll be in the front row.

Bye Jon.

Is he okay?

He'll be fine.

Okay good.

This is like Christmas.

Oh no no no no no no.

This doesn't happen every day.

How you doing?

I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

What?

- Ghostbusters. - Ghostbusters.

Concessionaires, the time of your demise is upon us.

Looking a little worse for wear, Frakes.

You been taking after this one?

Kira, why?

My family has to come first.

We're your family too Kira.

I'm gonna--

What are you gonna do?

Oh that's right, nothing.

Meet Derek at the Fisk Cinema for the final showdown.

Hey watch out for the door.

Do you want us to come with you?

Nope.

I gotta do this myself.

Well that's stupid.

Ah.

Now as you'll see this is pretty standard boilerplate

for this kind of thing.

Transferring ownership of the theater from Gabby to me.

You don't have to do this, Derek.

I haven't seen Rose since that night.

Frakes, you can still save it.

What?

Yeah I'm not a monster.

You can still save the theater so you can work there.

That's what you've always wanted to do, right?

Why would you do that?

Because I'm a giver.

I like to help people, Scott.

Even you.

Oh.

There is one tiny little thing I'm gonna need you to do

before I can do that for you.

Kneel.

Huh?

Kneel before me.

Kneel and accept me as your master

and beg me not to burn the Monarch Theater

down to the ground and piss on its ashes.

Scott, no.

Just let it go.

I told you I have to do this alone.

Yeah, well that was stupid.

Why should you do this alone?

Yes, yes, yes!

Now admit it.

Scott, admit it to them, to me, to yourself.

Admit that I am better than you.

Admit that I have won.

You said you were gonna destroy that

which I hold most dear.

Well you can't do that.

Wait, what?

You think the theater is what I hold most dear.

Honestly like until just a little bit ago

I thought that's what it was too but it's not.

What I hold most dear are the memories that I have there.

Showing kids Jaws for the first time.

Arguing over origin stories or if Higgins

was really Robin Masters.

- Yes. - What?

Higgins is clearly Robin Masters.

Are you?

None of that matters.

Without these people.

It's just a building.

You can tear down that theater.

But I'll still have more than you'll ever know.

You're joking.

No, you can't, it's, no, no, I won, I won!

I won!

Tell me something, kid.

You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

What?

What the hell?

I'm embarrassed for them.

No no no, not the ear!

Ow, no, charlie horse, mercy!

Enough!

What the hell is going on?

Father.

They assaulted me, they assaulted me.

That is not what I heard.

Boy, what have you done?

I can explain that Father.

I can explain everything.

Enough.

You will have an emergency session with Dr. Young

first thing in the morning.

No no, I can't!

Shh, they'll have lollipops for you.

Lollipops?

He's always had a few screws loose.

Anything my son has said or done

I sincerely apologize and I do still wanna own your theater.

To be honest, I just want out of that place.

Well I'll offer you top dollar, but first

I have to do some business with someone here.

Scott.

Oh god, what'd I do now?

You and I have a lot more in common than you think.

I hide my nerd side better than most.

You have a lot of heart.

Just like him.

Yeah, I knew your grandfather, he was a good man.

So it must have took a lot for you to sell

those comic books.

I think you're the person to run these theaters.

Actually, what about him being your partner?

Kira?

And besides, this is yours, you earned it.

Welcome back, kiddo.

Thanks Scott.

That's right, I had already made a verbal commitment

with Scott.

Does that secure him some shares in the theater?

I'd be nowhere in business without

the value of my word so yes it does.

And in the sense of good faith, welcome to Fisk Theaters.

Oh, and I think your grandfather would be happy

if you held onto that one.

Batman?

Oh, welcome home.

Now that you've said all of this,

I just wanted to throw some ideas by you.

It involves multiple revenue streams.

- Money? - A lot of it.

Arm lady Pendragon.

The sword.

- Hi, can I have your picture? - Oh sure!

And don't forget to check out my blog for upcoming projects.

I totally will, I love your show.

Oh thanks.

Hey.

So, what do you think?

Hot time in nerd boner town.

Six, 13, and 18 year old Scott would have loved this.

What about older version?

Pretty much the same.

Larry sold us all of his old inventory.

He's letting us move it gradually over as he closes.

Oh.

Oh check it out.

I hired RJ's little girlfriend for a couple nights a week.

Do they get any work done?

Not really.

Mostly they just make out in the broom closet.

But all the old people always say how cute they are.

I'm proud of them.

I'm proud of you.

Is this where we reveal our true feelings for each other?

Not yet, I'm working my program.

Not until I have a gold one of these.

Ah.

I hate cliffhangers.

Spoiler alert.

Willy Wonka said

there is no life I know to compare with true imagination.

Living there you can be free if you truly wish to be.

Colin Winters wrote everyone has the right

to make an ass of themselves.

You just can't let the world judge you too much.

There was Conan the Barbarian who said.

What is best in life?

To crush your enemies.

See them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation

of their women.

But remember, Grandpa Frakes said--

Make sure the story of your life

is worth telling.

And that's pretty cool.

RJ.

Come on.

Reset.

Cut, go again.

What the **** does a viking sound like?

They deserve a viking funeral.

Coming soon to Monarch Theaters, Fisk Theaters!

Oh doggy!

You know what I'm talking about.

Cut.

You go and have your fun, have your biracial babies,

see if I care!

Oh Scott, there's some guy in a suit looking for you.

Cut.

Really?

- Meow. - Cut.

Standby, we're ready, stand by.

Standby.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Like this?

Yeah.

Every man dies, not every man really lives.

**** I shouldn't have said that.

Hey, come...

Okay, I'll, the one, I'll just take it so you go.

You made me feel dead inside.

- Am I too early? - I don't know.

Is it somebody else's line?

- Is it yours? - Is it my line?

I think so.

I thought that was later, I thought he talks

about the barter.

Oh damnit you're right, I **** it up!

Give me high fives!

Yeah, you know all of it, I love it!

This is one fight I must do alone.

- Batman. - Cut!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, yo, hey.

Harmless flirtation?

Damnit, this just keeps happening.

Look, it's clear to me that you're into all of this

and I gotta warn you it's even better on the back side.

So I'm gonna turn and walk away,

but what I need you to do is to avert your gaze

because if it locks in on my caboose,

it's just gonna suck you right in.

And I'm gone.

Actually I gotta wait 10 minutes for the number two bus so.

- One please. - No.

It's on RJ.

Oh, thank you.

That's really sweet.

Alright.

I don't normally do this but

after your shift do you wanna come back to my place

and help me give my cat her diabetes shot?

She's missing a foot.

Stop it.

Bye, bye, say bye.

- Say bye. - Bye.

- Say bye. - Let's go.

No not to us honey.

Okay, we're gonna go.