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1
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,479
Well, it's all kicking off.
2
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,759
Some of the townswomen are demanding
chore remuneration
3
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,519
for all the hours logged in their
ledgers
4
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,799
while others are calling for
a hoover amnesty.
5
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,559
Question is will Linda step up
6
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,599
and be the leader that
the women need?
7
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,399
Back after this.
8
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,400
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
9
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,639
Thank you.
10
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:47,680
The Verderer's really got his tits
in a tangle this time.
11
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,360
WOMEN LAUGH & CHATTER
12
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,600
HE MUTTERS
13
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,280
PHONE PINGS
14
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,920
COUGHING
15
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,079
PHONE PINGS AGAIN
16
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,480
Oh, come on!
17
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,360
Oh.
18
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,960
How do they even get my number?
19
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,320
COUGHING
20
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,119
Give up the fags, Siobhain.
21
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,559
Oh, it's not the fags,
it's the menopause.
22
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,799
Coughing's not a symptom of
the menopause! Isn't it?
23
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,319
I thought everything was a symptom
of the menopause these days.
24
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,200
Don't start.
25
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,359
Why are you here, Siobhain?
26
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,799
I'm taking some time for myself.
27
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,999
Well, who's looking after
Martin's mum?
28
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,279
Martin.
29
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,279
You've dropped Irene off at Martin
and Binky's?
30
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,119
Well, I'll tell you something,
31
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:51,279
Martin won't be looking after her,
and neither will Binky.
32
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,799
She's pregnant.
33
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,519
She's 86!
34
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,000
Not Martin's mum, you idiot.
35
00:02:59,631 --> 00:03:04,719
But you didn't have kids cos
Martin didn't want them.
36
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,440
I know.
37
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,759
And now it's too late for you.
38
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:10,959
I know.
39
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:11,999
Decades too late.
40
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,839
Not decades.
41
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,840
I'm sorry.
42
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,439
You can stay here until you
get your head sorted out.
43
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:24,680
All right?
44
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,360
Cuppa?
45
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,279
Oh, that's not cider in that jug.
46
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,600
One week, and then I want you gone.
47
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:55,800
FAINTLY: I wanna know,
Have you ever seen the rain? ... ?
48
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,280
Late again, are we?
49
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,760
BOTH: What?
50
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,719
Have you always had plaits?
51
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,599
Have you always had
an abnormal gait?
52
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,239
Oh, why does everyone keep going on
about this?
53
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,239
People have different walks.
What are you on about?
54
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,359
Well, my friend bounces when
she walks.
55
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,399
Huh?
56
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,520
You know, like that.
57
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,800
Like that.
58
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,919
Oh!
59
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,199
I really think you should stop
eating endangered species.
60
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,599
It's like serving panda and mash.
61
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,839
I really think you should consider
making vegan eels.
62
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:14,039
No. We will serve vegan eels over
our dead bodies, Linda.
63
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:18,280
Ew. I think you should hear
her out, Therese.
64
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:24,800
You know, numbers are seriously down
and my bucket is all but dried up.
65
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:32,839
Vegan mushroom eels.
It makes perfect sense.
66
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,519
The forest is full of mushrooms.
67
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,919
The men wouldn't even notice.
Leave it all to me.
68
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,159
I've got my mushroom guidebook,
69
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,399
I've got my mushroom recipe.
70
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,760
What could possibly go wrong?
71
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,599
All right, one batch.
72
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,039
I'm surprised you've even got time
what with all
73
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,919
the riling up of
the womenfolk you've been doing.
74
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,719
I am not riling them up.
75
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,600
PHONE PINGS
76
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,599
Oh! Is my number posted up
all over town or something?
77
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:10,639
Yeah. Yeah. We put it there.
78
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,999
You can do your home-wrecking
housework hotline in your own time,
79
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,359
all right, not ours.
80
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,679
BIRD CAWS
And my guys up there,
81
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,799
they will tell me if you so much as
look at your phone, Linda.
82
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,319
Do you hear me?
83
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,239
BIRD CAWS
84
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,160
Yeah, I, I literally just told
her that, mate.
85
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,280
Not a bad idea, Linda.
86
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,920
LAUGHTER, CHATTER
87
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,439
All right, Tone?
88
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,079
It's a bleeding disgrace, Linda.
What is?
89
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,399
Well, the blooming PC brigade
coming down hard
90
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,959
on Julie's Pantry's
Cornish pasties. Ah?
91
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,759
Pasty Nazis, it's as simple as that.
92
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,279
I mean, you can't even say
Cornish pasty these days
93
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,559
without getting cancelled.
94
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,799
Well, you can.
95
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,559
Can you name one person who
said something politically incorrect
96
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,399
and then was never heard of again?
97
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,039
Yes. Oh. Bald guy. Former kickboxer.
98
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,719
Looks like a cross between
Vin Diesel
99
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,519
and the head of security at
a Las Vegas casino?
100
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,559
I know who you mean,
but I can't think of his name.
101
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,239
Very popular with boys between
eight and 14.
102
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,839
He's got a perfume out now.
Anyone else?
103
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,719
Yes. The tall bloke from
the acting dynasty.
104
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,519
He's always getting cancelled.
105
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,959
Looks like Where's Wally if he
shopped in Next?
106
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,959
I know who you mean,
but I can't think of his name.
107
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,439
Failed actor. Failed musician.
Failed Politician.
108
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,479
Over half a million X
formerly Twitter followers.
109
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,000
More popular than ever. Anyone else?
110
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,279
Yes, Professor Lobster.
111
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,039
Only eats meat and salt,
looks like a sad Christopher Lee?
112
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,079
I know who you mean,
but I can't think of his name.
113
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,599
Very popular with boys
between 14 and 35
114
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,479
who are very impressed by
long words.
115
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,680
Multi-millionaire, appears
on everything.
116
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,720
I just need one, Tone.
117
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,519
I can't think of one off
the top of my head, actually.
118
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,799
OK. Yeah.
119
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,999
So do you think Julie is going to
get cancelled
120
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,040
for saying Cornish pasty, Tone?
121
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,039
No, I don't think so.
122
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,560
No. Well, I'm glad we got
that one sorted out.
123
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,080
Yeah. Me too.
124
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,759
Whoo-hoo!
Woman with a bit of spunk.
125
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,760
What can limbo.
126
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,840
That is just my type.
127
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,440
Don't even think about it, Tone.
128
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,960
YELLING
129
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,000
Tony?
130
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,839
Well, get what you can while you can
still bend your knees, Lin.
131
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,159
Urgh.
132
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:03,520
In my bed, next to me,
while I'm asleep.
133
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,480
One week, Siobhain.
134
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,280
It's grounding, isn't it?
135
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,799
I connect to the soil every day.
136
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,839
Sometimes I stand. Sometimes I lay
down.
137
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,440
Sometimes I dance.
138
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:50,719
The soil doesn't just filter toxins,
it can absorb your grief as well.
139
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,679
Hmm, yeah, I feel...
140
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,399
I feel calmer already.
141
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,279
Good.
142
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,079
Don't be stressing about
the women's strike.
143
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,199
Oh. It's all the texts.
144
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,360
They shouldn't be telling me
this intimate stuff.
145
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,480
You've no idea what
people get up to.
146
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,760
Seriously though,
I think you'd make a great leader.
147
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,080
No. Why?
148
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,159
Because you're, erm,
149
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,879
braver than you believe,
you're stronger than you seem,
150
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,840
and you're smarter than you think.
151
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,159
Is that Winnie the Pooh?
152
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,160
No.
153
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:41,119
Oh, I listened to the mushrooms,
like you said.
154
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,279
Really, what did they say?
155
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,079
They said, "Tell Pig Man
156
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:48,080
"to stop eavesdropping on our
private conversations."
157
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,000
Oh, and I found this.
158
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,359
Isn't that...?
Yeah, Eel sisters as children.
159
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,720
Wow.
160
00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:06,759
I don't know what it is yet,
161
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,930
but there's a missing link
here somewhere.
162
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,079
You know what?
163
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,639
Fuck off, the lot of you.
164
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,599
You're just jealous.
165
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,480
Cos you look old and shit.
166
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,519
Coming to you raw, unfiltered,
and white like milk,
167
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,560
it's The Verderer.
168
00:16:12,561 --> 00:16:15,799
Good morning, good morning,
good morning.
169
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:21,039
I had planned on discussing
Jimmy Saville today,
170
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:25,919
but my attention has been turned to
a far greater threat to society.
171
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:30,679
Women.
Angry, foul-mouthed, old women.
172
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,799
Ooh, thought my ears were burning.
173
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,359
It's very sweet of you to try and
get my attention this way, Verderer,
174
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:38,879
very old school,
175
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,999
but I'm just not interested,
I'm afraid.
176
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,439
You think you're a MILF,
177
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,159
but you're just bitter,
old and barren.
178
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,199
Are you on air?
179
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,519
Linda fancies herself as
a bit of a feminist messiah,
180
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,439
er, liberating the oppressed women
from the shackles of domesticity.
181
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,079
But let me tell you,
she is no such thing.
182
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,919
She is a fake,
a charlatan, a home-wrecker.
183
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,079
She just wants the women of this
town to be as unhappy as she is.
184
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,239
The women came to me, Verderer, OK?
185
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,999
Because my ledger
resonated with them.
186
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,279
And it's not my fault if their
husbands aren't pulling their weight.
187
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,679
I wish I didn't know the things
that they told me, but I do now,
188
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,599
and to be honest with you, I think
they should be getting paid for them.
189
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,879
There is not a fetish club
in this country
190
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,679
that would tolerate half
the things they have to do.
191
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,719
Yeah?
192
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,199
But they were happy before,
193
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,799
in the garden, hanging out
the washing with the snake.
194
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,799
And then you come along,
Linda Jenkins,
195
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,439
or should I say Eve?
With her poisoned apple,
196
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,719
or should I say poisoned ledger?
And now they're ashamed.
197
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,679
Of themselves. Of their roles.
198
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,239
Of their aprons.
199
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,559
They're not ashamed.
They're happy and liberated.
200
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:49,199
Man and women were never equal.
Eve was made for Adam.
201
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,239
Yes, so that he had someone
to gaslight, and mansplain to,
202
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,799
and to laugh at his shit jokes.
203
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,399
It's biology, Linda.
204
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,919
Men and women's brains
are different.
205
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,559
The brain isn't gendered.
It's an organ,
206
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,239
like the kidney or an appendix.
207
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,719
Men's brains are bigger.
208
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,079
Not necessarily better.
209
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,439
Especially if all that extra space
is just taken up
210
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:07,559
with pointless trivia,
211
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:12,319
like which 1980s single topped
the charts the longest.
212
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,319
Two Tribes, Frankie Goes to
Hollywood. Nine weeks.
213
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,879
It is a fact.
214
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,919
Women are biologically predisposed
to care and to nurture,
215
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,839
whereas men are predisposed
to explore,
216
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,879
to take risks,
to destroy and rebuild,
217
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,039
to learn, to think.
218
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,159
I mean men invented everything.
219
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,199
Do you think we'd have
electricity now,
220
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,799
if Thomas Eddison had to do
his fair share of the dusting?
221
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,879
Yes, well Thomas Eddison's wife
probably invented it,
222
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:38,959
and he took all the credit.
223
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,719
Lose these traditional roles now,
and who are we?
224
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,519
What are we?
225
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,879
When are we?
226
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:52,039
Let me ask you, what kind of
middle-aged woman plays pool,
227
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,639
in a pub, on a Monday morning?
228
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,519
Smacking balls about while men are
trying to write and think?
229
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,679
I mean, it might be pool balls
today, gentlemen,
230
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,999
but it'll be OUR balls tomorrow.
Nice.
231
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,959
As Fayther Watkins' unofficial heir,
I will see to it
232
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,599
that his traditional values
are upheld.
233
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,359
I will restore order in this town.
234
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,039
Linda Jenkins' feminist agenda
235
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,639
has nothing to do with
equal rights for women.
236
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,359
It's all about pushing an
anti-family movement
237
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,999
that encourages women
to leave their husbands,
238
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,599
abandon their children,
practise witchcraft,
239
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,199
destroy the patriarchy
and become lezzers.
240
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,080
Sounds brilliant.
Where do I sign up?
241
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,679
You've made an enemy of me,
Linda Jane Jenkins.
242
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,999
Prepare for battle.
243
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,199
MUSIC PLAYS
244
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,960
Ah!
245
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,960
You're scared of a chair,
I think I'll be all right.
246
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,840
I'm scared of no chair.
247
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,240
Erm... will it hurt?
248
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,999
Hurt is an essential
human experience.
249
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,799
To hurt is to feel.
250
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:30,160
If one cannot feel,
one is not truly alive.
251
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,000
Yes, but will it hurt?
252
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,879
I forgot. This came for you earlier.
253
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,920
Doesn't smell like your weekly
Stinking Bishop delivery.
254
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,040
HE SNIFFS
255
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,880
To fear change is to fear life.
256
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,920
Life is always changing,
and so are we.
257
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,600
'Hope it fits. Let battle commence.
The lads.'
258
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,960
DIDGERIDOO PLAYS
259
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,440
Fayther's codpiece!
260
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:18,239
? Oh, Sally my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing
261
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:24,080
? She smiled and replied "You don't
know what you're missing"
262
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:35,839
? Oh, Sally my dear,
I wish I could wed you
263
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:40,439
? Oh, Sally my dear,
I wish I could bed you ... ?
264
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,480
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
265
00:22:42,530 --> 00:22:47,080
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