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(Dynamic music)

♪

(Text on screen)

[inging]V

- Previously on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

- We're throwing the first-ever Villains Roast.

[cheering]

- Going first and opening the show is Onya.

Going second is Arrietty.

Third is myself.

[tense music]

- I think Jewels wanted to go after me

because she knew I was gonna do bad.

But if she wants to play the game, let me play, too.

I'm not gonna make a fat joke about Mistress,

because Mistress is already a fat joke.

[music continues]

- Oh, my God, she stole my jokes.

- Jewels Sparkles.

- The Donald Trump of drag.

- You were just doing bad joke after bad joke.

- Arrietty.

- The minute you fell even just a little bit,

it took you down.

- Lydia Butthole Kollins.

- Your comic timing... - You're not racing anyone.

- It was so perfect.

I was like, is that my biological clock?

- Condragulations.

You are the winner of this week's challenge.

[cheering]

- Jewels Sparkles, shantay, you stay.

Arrietty, sashay away.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, God.

This has been a really emotional elimination.

- Pookie poo. - Girl.

- Sending Arrietty home is crazy.

I was put through the fire with that roast challenge.

There was so much drama, so much pain.

So I feel a little shaken up.

"As one smelly bitch to another,

Onya, please brush your teeth."

[dramatic music]

- Oh, wow.

- No.

- Onya has made a comment to me before in private

that, you know, she does have a condition,

and she has bad breath.

This is actually something that she's been

insecure about for a long time.

- She told some of us that she needs to see a dentist.

She don't know what's going on.

She had to take a low dig, and she did.

- And that's exactly why she deserved to go home.

Because she's a hateful-ass bitch.

- I am very sad that she chose to use that as her last words.

- Arrietty, sorry, girl.

You got to sashay away.

- I can't tell if Arrietty was trying to be funny

or if she was trying to be nasty.

But either way, Onya definitely didn't deserve that.

[somber music]

- You know, I would have never said anything

like that to any of y'all.

For her to come at something that, like,

I'm super insecure about...

[crying]

- Why would she say that?

- She was upset, obviously, that you

defended Jewels in "Untucked."

- I don't like how y'all tried to make Jewels feel

like she was being, like, malicious

on where she placed y'all.

- Our friendship has nothing to do with you.

- When you left your friend... - Oh, my gosh.

- She sat next to me, bitch. - I don't understand...

- Don't act like I can't say my two cents.

I wasn't trying to personally attack Arrietty.

Just because we argue and shit don't mean

we not sisters.

But, like, that shit is just, like, such a low blow.

- You did not deserve that. - We love you, bitch.

- We love you. I'm sorry, pookie.

- And if that's her idea of a joke...

- That's why she went home, bitch.

- That's why she went home in the roast.

- Bless your heart, sister.

And you're home, and I'm sitting here.

Anybody got a mint? [laughter]

- Go, girl.

- To change the subject just a little bit,

Lydia Butthole Kollins, you just won a challenge!

- Fuck, yeah, bitch.

A fucking comedy challenge, too, girl.

I finally have marked my place in this competition.

They like me. They really like me.

[laughs]

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- But I'm so disappointed that I didn't win.

[laughter]

You know, the angel on my shoulder

is very happy to have been in the top for the roast.

And the devil on my shoulder wants

to walk up and slap the hell out of Lydia Butthole Kollins.

I do wish that I had secured my third win,

because, bitch, I thought I was gonna get a touchdown.

And it was a foul ball, bitch.

- The tension is high.

The stakes are high.

- Oh.

- God, I wish I was high.

- Lydia, come here, bitch.

I got to sting you.

- There are seven queens left.

We are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...

- [screaming]

- And not all of us are going to make it

to the end of that tunnel.

[dramatic music]

- Ow!

[laughter]

- [singing] "RuPaul's Drag Race"

The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a gag-worthy grand prize of $200,000,

courtesy of TodayTix, the theater ticket app.

With extra-special guest judge Sam Smith.

[singing] "RuPaul's Drag Race"

May the best drag queen win, best drag queen win

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Kick ball change. Kick ball change.

Kick ball change. [laughs]

- It's so roomy in here.

Last week was an emotional roller coaster.

Reading Arrietty's mirror message was a lot.

It sucked.

But I've got a night's rest, and I already forgive her.

And you can't smell my breath through the TV,

so you got to move on.

- Has anyone had any weird dreams?

- I always have nightmares, and I'm always being chased.

And I just... I'm being chased by Suzie in these ones.

- Ah!

- It's really nothing out of the normal for me.

- The dream is expressing Lexi's state of mind.

For some reason, I am her fucking Jason Voorhees

chasing her down.

Why not?

I'll take it.

- Is that Kori's sweater?

[gasping] - Maybe.

- Wait. Is it?

- It's okay. I'm sure you'll see her very, very soon.

[laughter]

- Hello, hello, hello.

Hi.

- Yes!

- You know, I always try to come from a place of love.

But sometimes you just got to break it down

for a mother-ducker.

[laughter]

For this week's Maxi Challenge, as a tribute to Truman Capote

and his Swans, you'll be acting up a storm...

- Ooh. - Oh!

- In "Ross Mathews vs. The Ducks.

[duck quacks]

[cheering]

You'll be playing the Ducks,

inspired by some of today's most viral vixens.

- Oh, my God.

- And later today, you'll be shooting your scenes with Ross

and our guest director, Cheyenne Jackson.

[screaming]

- No way!

- This is crazy.

- You all spend a lot of time alone, don't you?

- Yeah. - A little bit.

- Now, I will leave you with your script

so you can choose your role. - Mm!

- Racers, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

[cheering]

- The universe is just in alignment for me this week.

- Let's go, let's go, let's go.

- Truman Capote is from Alabama.

I'm from Alabama.

He was very flamboyant

and not afraid to show his eccentricities.

And I'm inspired by that.

- Okay, so now we're gonna read through the scripts

before we decide what we want to go through?

- Yeah. Let's do a little read.

- Our skit is based on how he exposed

all of the Swans of New York City,

but we're doing it in modern day.

And Ross Mathews will play the Truman role.

He's basically exposing all of our secrets

as the socialites of the world.

- Ooh.

These names are killing me.

The characters are based on the reality TV stars

and moguls and housewives and drama creators and seekers.

- Did you see the New York...

- The New York monologues? - Yeah.

They were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman, so...

- Oh, my God. - That is so cute.

- In that case, you should have put them back

because he is unqualified to wear those blouses.

- Oh, my God. - Yes!

- This Chicago monologue is directly inspired

by the Tiffany "New York" Pollard monologue,

"Gemma is a Fat Cunt."

This is sickening.

I've had this monologue memorized,

I think, my entire adolescence.

I do have to make up for last week.

So I'm thinking if I nail this monologue,

it'll be a great way for me to make my way back into the top.

[laughter]

- I'm seeing a lot of potential in the role of Chicago...

[laughter]

Who has the big monologue at the end.

And, boy, do I love a monologue.

- Okay, I'm ready.

- Should we go down the line?

- So I'm gonna be Shonda.

- Oh, work.

- And I thank y'all.

- I like Liza Rimmer.

And I smashed a wineglass.

I get to be Teresa.

I'm not great at spoken-word comedy,

so I need to attach myself to physical comedy.

- I'm really into Dr. Scattington,

for obvious reasons.

[laughter]

- Ew. - But...

Girl.

I mean, of course, I want Sniffy Scattington.

It's a proctologist, for God's sakes.

And I like that she's, like, sort of villainous.

- Well, I'm feeling Drippy Q,

if Onya will do the scene with me.

We have good chemistry together.

- Yeah, I'll do Big Fupa.

- Drippy Q, Big Fupa.

- Drippy Q is a famous rapper.

She has a big body, big ass, big titties.

Very banjee.

I think I'll be able to nail this one.

- What else is left? - Felicity.

- Or Chicago.

- I would like to throw my hat in the ring for Chicago.

- I like Chicago as well.

[tense music]

- I mean, I personally believe that

I would do it the best because I go to town on monologues.

Monologues are my favorite thing.

And I would give it layers.

If we want to do this the best,

we should pass it to who's the best.

- Well, no, it's every man for himself at this point

and it's not about making the best production.

It's about winning.

- Yeah, I think I do want Chicago.

I don't know, I think I could just kill it out of the park.

- But we also have to consider, last time

we gave you the role you wanted,

you were in the top.

So it's like, did we owe Suzie one?

- Because I did not get the role that I wanted

and Jewels did get the role that she wanted.

- But is it about being fair? - No.

It's not.

[laughter]

- I don't want Suzie to get the part that she's by herself.

- Yeah, that's the lead. No, somebody else take that.

- I was safe... - Somebody... don't let her.

We cannot let her take this, y'all. No.

- I was safe in Snatch Game. - Don't matter.

Let's keep her in a box.

- I'm fighting a losing battle here.

Fuck it. Okay.

I'll take Felicity.

- Okay.

- And then Jewels has the big monologue,

the big role of Chicago.

- Ding.

- Cut to. [laughter]

- Cut to.

- Suzie giving up Chicago for Felicity,

it kind of feels like another Rusical moment,

where she gave up Dorothy to Acacia, and then she went home.

I think there could be some strategy happening here.

Yeah, Jewels. Here you go. You can take this role.

You're not gonna do good anyway.

- I feel excited about this.

- We get to beat the shit out of each other... how fun.

This week's Maxi Challenge is "Ross vs. the Ducks,"

inspired by Truman Capote.

- I'm really, really pumped about this.

- Me and you get to fight on national television.

- We get to fight.

- Truman Capote is a famous American author

who's notoriously homosexual.

- Ross Mathews.

He was friends with socialites.

And he kind of, like, leaked all their tea.

And these bitches were pissed.

Right? I don't know.

I'm not a history girl.

- Whore! Bitch!

[feminine grunting]

- So I'm working with Onya, and she's a very funny person.

And I feel like she can bring out my funny.

So I'm happy I'm working with you because I need to have

more fun in these challenges, and, like, this is

just gonna be too much fun.

I'm excited because I finally placed in the top,

and I have such a huge momentum coming up behind me

going into this week.

Now I don't have anything to do but win.

- I definitely was gonna, like, channel, like,

all of the young Black rappers that I know.

Back in high school, my brother

and a lot of my cousins were rappers.

So I'ma try to channel some of that,

like, hip-hop, local rap energy and bring it to this.

So when it comes to Big Fupa, I just know this girl.

This type of chick is the baddest bitch.

It's all of that and a bag of chips.

Girl, we about to be in the top.

- Girl. - I'm sorry.

- It needs to happen.

- Get your finger out of my face.

- I enjoy working with Lexi.

The catch here is that, for whatever reason,

Lexi has decided that I am her archnemesis.

And I'm hoping that that does not play a factor today.

Are you feeling any kind of way about being in a scene with me?

- No, I'm actually... this, I'm excited about.

And I think that us working together on this

is really, really good for my belief

in myself and my capabilities.

- We're gonna eat these bitches up.

- Listen, Linda.

If I know I have to be competing directly against her,

I get a little nervous.

But if she's on my team, I'm golden.

- That is so good.

- I'm very excited.

I feel like the two worlds of drag are colliding.

- I know.

Sam and I have been very vocal in the past

about our disagreements with our drag styles.

- Lydia, damn.

Do you think I was the worst? - No, no, no. Well...

- Are you that delusional?

It looks like you skinned a dead cat.

- Oh, thank you.

- So working with Sam in a scene

is going to be...

interesting.

[laughs]

- Both of us were in the bottom last acting challenge.

- I was gonna say, last scripted acting challenge.

- My beaver is shaved.

- We are new women. - Yes.

- We both slayed the roast. - Yeah, exactly.

- So we're channeling that roast energy.

- Yes.

I honestly do feel really excited about this.

- What direction are you gonna take your doctor character?

- Something about having my name be "Butthole"

and being a rectal examiner just feels very correct for me.

Basically, I just think poop is funny,

and I'm gonna roll with it.

- Okay.

If she is not able to impress the judges,

maybe I'll be guilty by association.

If Miss Butthole drags me down to the bottom,

I'm gonna be pissed.

- Ross Mathews.

He was unqualified to own those glasses, if that's the case.

And he...

[coughs]

- Jewels is not someone that I think works better solo.

I imagine her more in a team setting, bouncing off ideas.

So I'm really curious to see what she does with it.

Having fun over there, Miss Lonely Boots?

So you better make Tiffany proud.

- Oh, bitch. - Oh, my gosh.

- She's gonna be so proud.

- Girl, she would eat you alive.

- Okay, so let's figure out our combat part.

- Okay.

If we can hate each other in real life,

I'm sure we can hate each other in the scene.

I never meant to fall in love with Steven.

[gasps]

You bitch!

- You keep my husband's butt out of your mouth.

- [screams]

Eat my leftovers, bitch.

- I'm actually pleasantly surprised.

She seems to be committing to the role.

She's not afraid to clown and go for the slaps.

I'm just really worried that

she's not gonna have as much personality when we get on set.

So I'm hoping she doesn't seize up and fall

over like a goat or something.

- Oh, my God, you're right.

Pageantry is fun.

- It's fabulous.

Yeah!

[upbeat music]

- I was thinking, how should I say the "I don't know her."

- [deep voice] I said I don't know her.

- [deep voice] I said I don't know her.

- It will be interesting.

I think it's a good script,

and I think everyone is set up for success.

So it will be interesting to see what could possibly

go down, who does not rise.

- What are you implying, Suzie?

- That somebody's gonna suck.

- I'm not implying one thing.

- I heard the word "suck" and you were looking over here.

- Suzie did say she thinks y'all are in trouble.

- I did not say that.

- I mean, look at your scene partner.

- Well, that couple looks a little precarious.

- This couple is good, honey. - You know, Lexi...

Suzie gets you in your head and you're working

with her this challenge. - [screams]

- Okay. And?

- Well...

I'm like, you're literally working with the person that

causes you to get in your head every single week

in this competition.

So I think I would focus on myself if I were you.

Mwah.

[upbeat music]

- Hello, Duckies.

- Ooh, this place is nice, honey.

It is now time for us to shoot "Ross vs. the Ducks."

And he's all dressed up in his best Truman Capote drag.

And Cheyenne, sitting there looking like my dream husband.

- Hi, Queens.

I'm Cheyenne Jackson, and I will be your director today.

All: Hi, Cheyenne.

- I'm so nervous.

I know I'm gonna get dick-stracted.

I mean, ugh.

- So, first up, Lana Ja'Rae and Onya Nurve.

- Places, duckies.

Places.

- Me and Lana are up, and I am so excited.

We are about to smash it.

Let's do it, pookie. We got this.

And show these girls how it's done.

- Okay, ladies.

Let's duck it up.

- Is it isn't my... oh.

If it isn't my best homey, Ross.

- I am sorry about you and Big Fupa.

- I don't know her.

- The up-and-coming rap star trying to take your crown?

- I don't know her.

- She's also your daughter.

- I said I don't know her.

- And cut.

Those three, I don't know her, I don't know her,

take a little bit more of a beat so we see, like,

oh, shit, maybe she is your daughter.

- Okay.

- When I say it's your daughter,

realize it, but then shut me down,

even if you have to change your cadence.

- And action.

- So sorry about you and Big Fupa.

- I don't know her.

- The up-and-coming rap star trying to take your crown?

- I don't know her.

- She's also your daughter.

- I said I don't know her.

- Cut.

Great job.

- Thank you.

- Okay, we're going pick it up at Big Fupa's entrance.

And action.

- Mmm, yeah.

Then I guess you didn't see me, Big Fupa, on the cover

of "Derriere Magazine."

- Big Fupa, that's an entrance for the ages.

- Yep. Don't change a thing.

- Move out the way, bitches. Big Fupa coming to play.

Explain these.

- [gasps]

- Yes, yes.

And the nails.

[nails clicking]

- This is too good.

- The nails are actually my supporting character.

They're doing all the talking when I'm not talking.

And I'm having a blast. [laughs]

- All right, ladies. We're gonna do the wig pulling.

One take. Really commit.

- Every ounce of frustration in this competition,

take it out now.

- Ooh, girl. You gonna really hurt.

[laughter]

- And action.

- You bitch!

[screaming]

[playful dramatic music]

- Lana's got a titty down here.

- My titty.

- Lana is not wearing a bra.

Them damn chicken cutlets she had on her chest

now look like her left ball.

- Titty down.

- Oh, my God.

I'm having a good time. I'm having fun.

And I look crazy.

I really hope that Ross is able to see my acting skills

and how hard I'm trying.

- Okay, so next up, we have Sam Star

and Lydia Butthole Kollins.

- It's very intimidating to walk into this,

especially after such a strong group has went.

But I feel like Joan Collins right now,

with my updo and blazer.

So I'm hoping that the way I look

will guide me to just loosen up.

- And action.

- Oh, Ross.

- Well, if it isn't the fabulous Shonda Cox.

You look gorgeous.

- Oh, thank you.

I'm here, spying on my husband.

He's having an affair with my best friend

and his proctologist.

- Sam is doing a brilliant job.

She's knocking it out of the park right now.

I have no other choice but to step up to the plate.

Shonda, puh-lease!

I never meant to fall in love with Steven.

But the prostate wants what it wants.

- And cut, cut.

The prostate wants what it wants.

That's arguably the funniest line in this thing.

So really chew on that.

- Ah.

- Say it like it's a proclamation.

[breathily] The prostate wants what it wants.

- Okay. - Mean it from your prostate.

- All right, I will.

- Lydia is already doing miles better

than she performed in RDR Live.

She just needs to take the notes.

- I never meant to fall in love with Steven,

but the prostate wants what it wants.

- Okay.

- You feel good? - Yeah, I feel good.

- Okay.

I just want to make sure you got your...

there was no meat left on the bone.

- No, I feel like I nibbled it.

- Ross is trying to pull more out of Miss Butthole.

- I think we can keep moving.

- Cut to Miss Lydia turning into a fainting goat.

Mm.

- Cool.

- Ross Mathews.

- Felicity Slanderpump.

- I'm meeting Liza Rimmer for lunch.

- After everything she's been saying about you?

- Spill it, Mathews.

- She called you every name in the book.

- [gasps] - Yeah.

[whimpers]

- And cut.

- I love the gasps. - [whimpers]

- Got ourselves an actress.

- Ooh.

- Nice work.

- Thank you.

- Cheyenne says we've got an actor on set,

and I just want to stick a toothpick in my ear.

Girl, what the hell?

God damn it, Suzie Toot!

- All right. Bring in the ASMRs.

[whispering] Action.

- [whispering] I think your fake eyelashes

are messing up what you are seeing.

- You beat... blah.

Sorry. [laughs]

Bottle-blonde butch queen built body wrong bitch.

You bottle-blonde butch queen bad-body bitch.

I messed that up. Sorry.

- Keep messing up, because I look great in comparison.

And that's why Lexi is afraid of me.

- You blottle... bottle blonde

butch queen body no-having bitch.

I still flubbed it.

None of the other girls have had to do this many takes,

and I'm like, fuck, am I fucking up?

I don't know.

I don't know, I'm nervous.

This is... it's hot in here.

Fuck.

Is it... anybody got a fan?

Fuck.

- How are you doing? - I'm a lonely girl.

- It's hard to be last. - No, I'm excited. I'm excited.

I've been sitting here for, like, four hours

waiting for these bitches to get their lines right.

But the longer I sit here, and the longer I sit here,

and the looooooonger I sit here,

the more tired I get.

Every minute that passes, more energy falls out of my body.

- Okay, let's move on.

[moaning, grunting]

- You!

[playful dramatic music]

- I don't think Lexi's acting right now.

[grunting]

- And cut.

- I'm actually squeezing.

- All right, Jewels Sparkles, our final scene.

- Yes.

- All right, so, Jewels, this is the big meaty part.

- Ready.

- Give us mountains and peaks and valleys and meat

and all the drippings.

- Attention, please.

Ross Mathews is a big old "C U Next Tuesday."

- Ooh.

- I feel like I am trying to pull energy out

of all these different places.

Yeah, and he said that those blouses were meant to be

worn on a beautiful woman.

But I don't know if it's coming across the way I anticipated.

So, if that's the case, he should have

put them back on the rack. - And cut, cut.

Jewels, try to stay exactly on the script.

I know you're adding a couple of ad libs

that were in a different version.

- Jewels knows the monologue from New York,

but I think that ended up hurting her because she got

mixed up what was the original monologue

and what was her monologue?

- Just remember, bitch, you are Chicago.

- Bitch, I am Chicago. - Yes.

And action.

- He should have put them back on the rack.

And she should never... and... because he was unqualified.

- Cut. There's no "on the rack."

- Right, "on the rack," not "on the rack."

Okay. Okay.

This monologue is a little harder than I thought it was.

I'm starting to trip up on the delivery,

which is stressing me out.

Escándalo!

[mock shrieks]

[upbeat music]

- Quack, quack, baby. [duck quacks]

- Today we find out what the judges think

of our performances in "Ross vs. the Ducks."

I'm so excited.

- My heart is fluttering.

- Your heart is fluttering like a duck?

- Yes.

You know, now that I've been able to sleep on it,

I think that I did really good,

even though I had to refilm a couple times.

So I'm just hopeful at this point.

- I feel gorgeous. I feel like I did gorgeous.

- Yes, bitch.

- I'm gonna put on my makeup because I'm what?

Big Fupa.

- Yes, Big Fupa.

- I live.

- We got minimal notes, so I'm thinking that is a good thing.

- I felt good.

I had a really good time with mine, too.

- I feel good. You know, it's my comfort zone.

I was having fun. - Yeah.

Everyone feels great.

But we are at a stage in the competition

where they can nitpick anything from any of us.

So I don't think anyone should be

feeling comfortable right now.

- I feel like we did a really good job yesterday.

I was trying to just have fun, and I feel like we did that.

- I feel the same way.

In elementary school, I was known

for being the freestyle king.

- Nuh-uh.

- We used to have freestyle battles.

- Period.

- So, growing up, we would have, like, freestyle battles

in the after-school club.

And I freestyled against, like, the best freestyler

in the elementary school, and I won.

- Can we give you a category? "Drag Race" acting challenge.

- Acting challenge. Okay, yes.

- Ha, ho, he, ha.

Acting, I got it.

- Hey! - Hey!

- That was good, right? - You really ate.

- Very minimal, but I lived.

- I was delusional from a young age.

[laughter]

- After this challenge with Lana,

I realized that she is not about to let

what people think of her determine who she

actually is as an entertainer.

Lana is like, no, bitch.

I can do this, and I'm gonna do it.

And that is super admirable.

- So we're gonna do another one.

Category is season 17. - Go.

- [vocalizing]

- [singing] Listen, it's your girl Nurv, I'm on season 17

I don't play 'cause all these bitches mean

- That's all you got? Let me go.

Are y'all ready?

[singing] All you bitches suck

And you bitches can't even tuck

Get up off of my butt

You a nasty little slut

- Hey!

- [singing] 'Cause Onya on my nerves - Hey!

- I got curves

Hit 'em with the swerve

Work

- Don't hurt 'em, Sam. Don't hurt 'em.

- Go, Sam!

- Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

[music continues]

- These eyebrows are fucking crazy.

- Well, I wasn't gonna say anything.

[laughter]

- I think I'm gonna do a dark lip.

- Ooh.

That's a good idea.

- Oh, my, honey.

- Lydia has inspired me to be a little dark sided.

- You know what? You inspired me, too.

- I just love you, Sniffy.

I didn't think at all that we would like each other

even the tiniest bit.

But I'm kind of starting to like Miss Butthole.

Oh, God, that hurts me to say, but it's true.

So, Little Miss Butthole. - Yes, Miss Girl?

- Did you have fun? - I did have fun.

I did have lots of fun.

A proctologist is always something

that I've dreamed of being.

- Wait, for real? - Oh, yeah.

Yeah, fully. No, I'm fucking with you.

But I... - Oh, my God.

- I do just have a very, like, filthy mind.

- Where do you think that comes from?

- I don't know.

Maybe it's like a... like a childish humor type of thing?

But I'm also really influenced by, like,

John Waters and his characters.

- I see that.

- And that's why I ended up the way that I ended up.

- You know, see, because, like, for me,

it was like watching these glamorous movies

with these fabulous women who have more money than they

even knew what to do with.

So it's like, we both have become...

- What we have wanted to become.

- What we want it to be, Lydia! - Right?

I'm a poop girl. - It's so beautiful.

- I'm so proud of us.

- I'm so proud of us, too.

Against all odds, Sam Star and I are becoming friends.

We still hate each other's drag, but that's okay.

[laughter]

- After tonight, this top seven is about to be a top six.

So the stakes are really, really high.

We're all hungry for that placement.

It could be anyone's day.

Quack, quack. [duck quacks]

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

- [singing] Cover girl

Put the bass in your walk

Head to toe

[applause] - Yes!

Oh, my God.

- She has legs.

- Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck,

it's probably a whore.

Hey, Michelle.

- Uh, Ru, quack is wack.

[laughter]

- The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Now, Ross, I hear you gave a very brave performance.

- Well, thank you.

You know, it was quite a stretch

for me to play a gay character, and I'm still sore.

[laughter]

- And it's our extra-special guest judge, Sam Smith.

Welcome. - Thank you.

Ru, thanks to you, my pronouns are they, them,

and she done already done had herses.

[laughter]

This week we challenged our queens to ruffle some feathers

as they star in "Ross Mathews vs. the Ducks."

Racers, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

[singing] You say you wanna win

Category is Black and White Ball.

Up first, "Sham Shtar."

- Queen of tots.

[laughter]

- This look would definitely have made the guest list

at the Capote Ball.

The jester entertains the queen,

and I'm here to entertain our queen, Ms. RuPaul.

So as I'm walking down the runway, bitch,

I'm jingling like a jester fairy.

[bells jingling]

That was my nickname in prison.

- Jester?

I don't even know her.

[laughter]

- Lana Ja'Rae.

- Uh-oh. She's spotting.

[laughter]

- For this runway, I'm covered head to toe,

which is something I don't ever do.

And the hair is made entirely out of hair.

The bows are hair, actually.

Although it's still very elegant and fashion-forward,

I am still showcasing my legs,

which is the highlight of every single thing that I do.

I love it.

- Do these sleeves make my ass look fat?

- Onya Nurve.

- Come on, Bjork.

- I wanted to portray this black swan

on a foggy lake with this smoky effect,

starting at the bottom of my leg, coming up my entire body,

giving you nothing but elegance,

regalness, and power.

- She's got swan on the brain.

I've got cockatoo on mine.

[laughter]

- Lydia Butthole Kollins.

- One giant step for drag queens.

- I'm wearing a very multitextured,

tight little dress that I can "Mars Attacks!"

scuttle around in.

I am an alien woman whose arms are far too long

to fit into regular gloves.

She has her phasers set to stunning,

and she's ready to take over the goddamn world.

- Now, that is one furry butthole.

[laughter]

- Beep, beep! It's Suzie Toot.

- Meow.

- I hear there's a cure for shingles.

[laughter]

- This is "Cats: The Musical" meets high fashion.

Very Egyptian, pharaoh-like.

I love cats.

I love the way that they are absolutely

above anything and everything,

because that's how I try to be in my life.

- She likes it in the Sphinx-ter.

- Lexi Love.

- The bride wore ombré.

- I feel like a fashion model just dropped out

of fucking gay Europe, honey.

I'm expecting everybody to do long gowns

because it's a ball.

So I'm giving you something short in a Mugler remake.

- This dress is so versatile.

You can it to your wedding and your funeral.

[laughter]

- Jewels Sparkles.

- More pussy?

- I am the business puss.

This is a hand-painted garment that is meant to look

like a fashion illustration come to life.

This is all inspired by one of my favorite

fashion illustrations of all time by Hayden Williams,

and this is a dedication to his art.

- Eat your heart out, Julie Newmar.

- Welcome, queens.

It's time for the world premiere

of the most anticipated limited series

of the year,

"Ross Mathews vs. the Ducks."

[ominous music]

[ducks quacking]

- Once upon a time, there were seven little duckies.

They were all rich and powerful women.

They were my best friends,

who confided in me about everything.

Sometimes they'd make fun of me.

But we'll see who gets the last laugh.

[giggles]

[gentle music]

- Table for one, Mr. Mathews?

- Me, eat alone? Never.

I'm waiting for my best friend, reality superstar Chicago.

Have you heard of her?

- Of course, Mr. Mathews.

She's one of your Ducks.

I follow all the drama on the Realitysleaze account.

- I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

[laughter]

- Look!

It's rap mogul Drippy Q.

I'll leave you two alone.

- If it isn't my best homey, Ross.

- Hey, Drippy Q.

I'm so sorry about you and Big Fupa.

- I don't know her.

- The up-and-coming rap star trying to take your crown?

- I don't know her.

- She's also your daughter.

[laughter]

- I said I don't know her.

- Then I guess you didn't expect to see me,

Big Fupa, on the cover of "Derriere Magazine."

They saying I got the fattest ass in hip-hop.

- Oh, hell, no!

Bitch!

[grunting]

- No. Ladies, stop.

Please! Please, stop it.

Turn your head towards the light.

This... this way a little bit.

Oh, that's perfect. Now continue.

- What's good, Drippy Q?

I didn't expect to see you here.

The senior-citizen discount doesn't start till 3:00.

- Ah!

You did not just disrespect a legend, little girl.

- You are not ready for this diss track

I'm about to drop on your ass.

I want everybody to know your ass is fake.

- I am 100% real.

- Then explain these.

- [gasps]

[nails clicking]

- And these.

[laughter]

[tense music]

- You bitch!

[both gasping]

[grunting, slapping]

[music continues]

Bitch!

- Excuse me, ladies.

- Yes? - Yes?

- Your table's ready. - Oh.

- Come on, girl.

- Good.

Are there any specials today?

- I heard that the rump roast is incredible.

- What did you just call me?

[laughter]

[gentle music]

- Oh, my followers are gonna devour this.

[phone beeps]

Post.

And there was the filthy rich Dr. Steven

and Shonda Cox, the world's most perfect couple.

Except he couldn't keep his ass in his pants.

[laughter]

- Ross.

Hello, darling.

- Well, if it isn't the fabulous Shonda Cox.

You look gorgeous.

- Oh, thank you.

I just had wrist lipo.

Don't they look positively bony?

- Well, just the boniest.

[both laugh]

- [sobs]

Who am I kidding?

Can I tell you a terrible secret?

- Of course, my dear.

- I came here to spy on my husband.

He's having an affair with my best friend

and his proctologist, Dr. Sniffy Scattington.

- Well, he's cheated before, and he always comes back.

- But this time it's different.

It's like she really opened him up big-time.

- You mean his heart?

[laughter]

- Sure.

It's like she's got him wrapped around her index finger.

[laughter]

- Well, speak of the devil.

- Hello, Ross.

Oh, Shonda, I didn't know you were here.

[glove snaps] [fart]

[tense music]

You just missed Steven.

We were having lunch with five of our colleagues.

- Well, if five of y'all went out,

then three of y'all were really cheap,

'cause only two of you had lunch.

I found Steven's credit-card receipt.

- What's your point, Shonda?

- The point is, my best friend is having an affair

with my best husband.

- All right.

I'll tell you the truth.

I never meant to fall in love with Steven.

But the prostate wants what it wants.

- That's not right.

And that is definitely not okay.

- Shonda, puh-lease!

Things have changed.

And now I'm the star in Steven's life.

- You keep my husband's butt out of your mouth.

- Oh!

Eat my leftovers, you bitch!

- [screams]

- [spits]

[laughter]

[grunting]

- Stay away from my husband, you hussy!

- You can kiss my ass, and your husband's, goodbye!

[grunting]

- Get off of me!

- Mrs. Cox, your table is ready.

- Thank you.

Sniffy.

- What?

- You want another cocktail?

- You know me.

Bottoms up.

- Attagirl.

- Ooh.

And post.

[giggles]

And then there were two washed-up actresses,

Felicity Slanderpump and Liza Rimmer.

They were once big stars, but now they've turned

to the world's oldest profession...

reality TV.

[laughter]

- Ross Mathews.

- Felicity Slanderpump.

I was so shocked to see your face

during the "In Memoriam" section

of the Soap Opera Awards.

- Well, as they say,

any publicity's good publicity.

I'm meeting Liza Rimmer for lunch.

- Liza?

After everything she's been saying about you?

- Spill it, Mathews.

- She called you every name in the book.

"Prostitution whore," "hoochie dancer,"

"Russian concubine," "Scientologist."

- [gasps]

- Yeah.

- [gasps]

- Hi, hi!

Just got some great deals at the outlets.

- Oh, the outlets.

Has it come to that?

- Liza, you beast!

You've been spreading rumors about me.

- Calm down.

Eat a cracker or something.

- You evil bitch.

You know I'm allergic to gluten.

- And heterosexual husbands.

- At least I've never told anyone about your Ponzi scheme

with those orphans.

[gasps] Oops.

- Lower your voice.

- [whispering] Let's not talk about things that you

do not want brought up.

- [whispering] Get your finger out of my face.

- Like how your husband and his "pickleball partner"

are actually playing hide the pickle?

- You bottle blonde, butch queen body built wrong bitch.

- I think your fake eyelashes

are messing up what you are seeing.

[laughter]

[slapping, grunting]

- Ms. Slanderpump, Ms. Rimmer?

Your table's ready.

[laughter]

- Oh, goody. I'm famished.

- Wanna share a wedge of lettuce?

- Sure.

[gentle music]

- And the award for Best Bitch goes to...

me.

[laughter]

- Ross Mathews.

- Oh, Chicago.

You're finally here.

Now, why aren't you wearing the blouse I sent you?

Kissy kissy.

- More like you can kiss my ass.

- Gay gasp!

Whatever do you mean?

- Yeah, I just found out you run

the Realitysleaze account

that's been trolling all of us Ducks.

[all gasping]

Bitch, I'm Chicago.

I was your HBIC,

the queen of all memes, the OG reality star.

And I thought I was your friend.

- Um, I think my table is ready.

Waiter!

- Attention, please.

Ross Mathews is a big old "C U Next Tuesday."

[all gasping]

And the blouses he gave me were not something

that I would particularly buy for myself.

They were wrinkly old lady type of blouses.

Yeah.

And he said that those blouses

were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman.

So, if that's the case, he should have put them back

because he was unqualified to own those blouses.

He is a disgrace to sissies

who actually serve fashion and beauty.

He does not have the vernacular.

- Right. - Work, bitch.

- Yes.

- Duckies, I-I can explain.

I-I can.

- Liar!

- Whoa.

- Traitor!

- [grunts]

- Cheat!

[gasps]

- Stinker!

- Wrinkly!

- Old-lady-type blouses.

[growling]

- But we're all still friends, right?

- Vernacular.

[grunts]

- Missed me.

[laughter]

- Mr. Mathews, follow me.

I'll show you the back door.

- I thought you'd never ask.

[laughter]

[applause]

- Oh, my God.

- I feel like we all did a very good job.

Now it's all up to the judges to see what's about to happen.

- Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

First up, Lana Ja'Rae.

- I want to start with this outfit.

You look so chic.

It's really a juxtaposition of a bunch of different eras,

and it is absolutely working.

- I love your makeup so much.

And I think you have a superstar smile.

- First, I want to start out with saying how proud of you

I am for really trying to push yourself.

- I said I don't know her.

- As Drippy Q, I thought you were fun.

I thought you were committed.

However, when Onya came in, she kind of steamrolled you.

- All eyes sort of went to her.

- When you do a scene with somebody,

you need to step up to what the other character is doing.

It doesn't always mean loudness.

It means intensity.

- Onya Nurve.

- This runway look is eleganza with a twist of ridiculous.

You really cracked the code on how to do it.

- You mean "quacked the code"?

- Oh, girl. [laughter]

- Ah!

- I'll send you a bill.

- Thank you.

- I love it when you call me Big Fupa.

The wig-snatching, fighting, slapping scene

between you two was fantastic.

I was actually very proud of you in that as well, Lana.

You, however, are just a powerhouse.

- The minute you walked on camera,

your energy was just larger than life.

- There was not a missed moment of funny,

and I just enjoyed the show.

- Thank you.

- "Sham Shtar."

- This is so pretty.

Your makeup tonight is exceptional.

The hair is perfect. I love all of this.

- I love the jingle when you came out.

It's amazing. It's so nice. [bells jingling]

- Sam, you had to start the second scene.

- Darling!

- To come after somebody who

just brought the house down, it's tough.

You were fantastic. - Yes!

- You had such a clear, defined character.

You came out very happy.

You had to make a hard turn to reveal that

there was a struggle going on.

You found the right moment in the midst of a laugh

to make that turn.

It's not easy to do that kind of thing.

It was a total joy to be across from you in that challenge.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

- All right, ladies and gentlemen.

Clinch it if you got it.

[laughter]

Lydia Butthole Kollins.

- You look amazing tonight.

It's fun.

I love the mittens. I think it's great.

It's giving Dr. Seuss. - Yes.

- And I love it.

- Let's talk about the challenge.

Your character had some of the funniest lines

in the whole thing.

My favorite was "The prostate wants what it wants,"

which is one of the most powerful sentences

ever uttered on television. - Right?

- Yeah.

But it really works if you say it like

Vivien Leigh in "Gone With the Wind."

You know, I will never go hungry again.

I felt like you were right on the verge of it, right there.

- It wasn't bad at all. It was actually good.

I just needed it to be more so it could be

on par with Shonda Cox.

- It was so good. - Mm-hmm.

- But I just was so ready for a grand slam.

Baseball.

- Right. Right.

- Up next, beep-beep, it's Suzie Toot.

- Felicity Slanderpump.

I loved the natural read of it all,

the actress read of it all,

with the ridiculous things that you were saying.

- You know I'm allergic to gluten.

- I thought your ASMR portion was really, really funny.

- Everything that you did in that challenge just worked.

- That lace front, was that made for a Black woman?

- So I did borrow it from Onya Nurve.

- Uh-huh. [laughs]

- I am screaming.

[laughter]

- I was a little distracted by the lace initially.

- Sure. Sure.

- But then, of course, your performance shone through.

- This look really works on you.

Those tassels really moved so beautifully on the runway.

- I have one thing.

Are we allowed to say the word cunt?

- I think you just did. [laughter]

- I'm missing a touch of cunt in the outfit.

I think it could just be a tiny little tighter in the waist.

Other than that, it's incredible.

- Up next, Lexi Love.

- You on the runway tonight,

the top half is Princess Margaret,

the bottom half is Katie Price. - Oh, my God.

- Yet another train.

She loves to drag something behind her.

- It's getting shorter, I swear.

- You are in danger of giving us the same thing a lot.

- This is it.

- In the challenge, that ASMR moment was hilarious.

It had me crying with laughter.

- Yeah, when I saw that you two were working together,

Lexi, I got a little bit afraid.

I was like, uh-oh.

Is she gonna get in her head with this?

I think it lit a fire under your ass.

- You were so willing to fight to get it right,

and you got there.

That's the kind of thing you have to do in this competition

to make it to the end.

- All right. Thank you. - Thank you guys.

Ah!

- Jewels Sparkles.

- You had quite the monologue.

Did you know all the references?

- Of course.

I've had that monologue memorized since, like,

ninth grade of high school.

- It didn't feel like you knew all the references.

- Ooh.

- It needed more highs and lows

for us to understand that you were in on the jokes.

- Okay.

- I want to commend you for coming into that scene

being so full of energy and giving it your all.

- Thank you so much.

- For me, this outfit is fucking incredible.

It's funny, and it's polished but not too polished.

- You adding this look to your repertoire

has just elevated you to a whole nother level.

Everything is gor-gee-ous.

- Thank you so much.

[tense music]

- Queens. One final question.

It's time for me to ask

who should go home tonight and why?

[music continues]

- Work.

- We will start with Lana.

- I believe the person that should go home tonight

is someone that's a huge competition for me,

so I would say Suzie Toot.

- Onya Nurve.

- Lydia is in the bottom of the competition right now,

and so we got to get the weaker ones out.

- I'm not the weakest link.

I have a win.

Her scene partner doesn't.

- Sam Star, same question.

- Suzie Toot.

And I thank you.

[laughter]

- Lydia.

- My biggest competition at this point is Onya.

So I would love to see Onya go home.

- Typical, typical, typical.

I'm not going nowhere.

Every bitch on this lineup could say my name,

and I'm still not going nowhere. [chuckles]

- Suzie Toot, keep it real.

- Track record matters a lot.

So I'm gonna say Lana Ja'Rae.

- Lexi Love.

- It should come as no surprise to anybody

that I'd like to knock Suzie Toot

out of the top spot any day.

- Jewels. - Ooh.

I have been waiting for this question.

I would say Suzie Toot.

Not only is she a big competitor,

but that hairline was wicked.

It was awful.

- Oh, my God. - Send her home for that alone.

- America, y'all watching at home, you agree with me.

I should not go home tonight.

It's a cop-out answer.

- Thank you, queens. I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will deliberate.

All right, now just between us squirrel friends,

what do you think?

Let's start with Lana Ja'Rae.

- I'm really proud of her, because I saw her

consciously making efforts to push herself

out of that comfort zone.

- The problem was, the spotlight

was stolen by her partner.

Got to elbow your way to the front every chance you get.

And I think she missed an opportunity to do that tonight.

- Onya Nurve.

- Onya came in like a wrecking ball, y'all.

- I was completely blown away.

I think they're incredible.

- She's gonna hit it out of the park every single time.

Tonight? No exception.

- I think Onya is a powerhouse.

All right, Sam Star.

- Listen, speaking about powerhouses,

I was quite literally blown away by her performance.

- I was annoyed by Sam Star. I'll tell you why.

It's about me, you know?

Nobody's looking at me in that scene when she was out there.

[laughter]

- All right, let's go to the Butthole.

- I thought she did a good job,

but it wasn't the best job she could have done.

- I take prostates very seriously,

and you all know that.

I don't want to be a pain in the butthole, but it just...

I wanted so much more.

- There's a resonance in their voice that is yet to be found.

It's just, they need more volume.

- I wish she would have just taken it all the way,

and she didn't quite do it.

- Suzie Toot. - This is her wheelhouse.

When you're in control onstage, on camera,

it's the best feeling in the world,

and you can tell she was glowing.

- I loved every line she uttered,

except for her hairline.

[laughter]

- She was so funny.

She was effortless.

She's really special, I have to say.

That's why everyone wants her to go home.

- Lexi Love.

- Tonight on the runway, I loved the ombré fabric.

I love that kind of old lady hair that she did with it.

It makes no sense.

- It doesn't make a lick of sense, does it?

But on her, okay. I'm kind of here for it.

Now, in the challenge, she refused to give up.

- It doesn't surprise me that she was able to turn it around

and really come out swinging

because she is quite the fighter.

Jewels Sparkles.

- Second to you, Ru, I think that Tiffany Pollard

is the queen of British television.

She brings me joy in my darkest moments.

I'm such a huge fan of her, and that speech

just wasn't brought to life in the way that I needed it to be.

- Could she have gone further and done more with it?

Of course.

Now, one day in the future,

there will be outfits worn on this runway

that will be in the Smithsonian.

I think that's gonna be one of them.

- Yeah. - I loved it.

- Yeah, listen, I think at this point in the competition,

all the kids are doing really well.

But I think we know what we have to do.

Eliminate Suzie Toot.

[laughter]

- No!

- [claps hands] Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, queens.

I've made some decisions.

[tense music]

Suzie Toot, Lexi Love...

[whispering] This week, you spoke softly

but carried a big shtick.

You are both safe.

[laughter]

- I just got it. She was doing a bit.

[laughter]

- You may step to the back of the stage.

[laughter]

[normal voice] Onya Nurve, your Big Fupa

was supa dupa.

Sam Star, the judges were fonda your Shonda.

Onya, condragulations, you are the winner

of this week's challenge.

- Yes!

Thank you so much.

- You've won a cash tip of $5,000,

presented by got2b.

- I did it!

- You two may join the other girls.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- We did it. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Big Fupa, uh, uh, uh, uh, oh!

[sighs]

Another one.

- Lana Ja'Rae,

your Drippy Q did not leave a mark.

Lydia Butthole Kollins,

your proctologist could have gone deeper.

Jewels Sparkles, your vernacular

was less than spectacular.

Jewels Sparkles, you are safe.

- [softly] Thank you.

- You may join the other girls.

That means, Lana and Lydia, I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are up for elimination.

- Here I am again, in the bottom for the third time.

But Lana is also about to go into her third lip sync,

and I have some plans up my sleeves

that I'm excited to show.

- Two queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight, you are asked to prepare

a lip-sync performance of "Unholy" by Sam Smith.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

[music continues]

The time has come... [thunder cracks]

For you to lip-sync...

for your life.

Good luck.

And don't fuck it up.

- [singing] Mummy don't know Daddy's getting hot

At the body shop

Doing something unholy

[music continues]

Lucky, lucky girl

She got married to a boy like you

She'd kick you out if she ever, ever knew

'Bout all the [...] you told me that you do

Dirty, dirty boy

- Come on, bitch!

- [singing] You know everyone is talking on the scene

I hear them whispering

'Bout the places that you've been

And how you don't know

How to keep your business clean

Mummy don't know

- I am barely able to move, so I'm putting my weird

Lydia Kollins "Mars Attacks!" spin on it.

- There's no way in hell I'm not performing "Unholy"

to the best of my ability in front of Sam Smith.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm the only one onstage.

- [singing] Mummy don't know Daddy's getting hot

At the body shop

- Bitch, right now.

- [singing] Doing something unholy

Mm, daddy, daddy

If you want it, drop the addy

Give me love, give me Fendi

My Balenciaga daddy

You gon' need to bag it up

[tense music]

- I feel a bit frantic trying to get this dress split.

Girl, maybe you should have just kept

the scissors in your bra.

- [singing] He get me Prada

Get me Miu Miu like Rihanna

- Oh, God. This is bad.

Lydia's foot stuck.

It's just, ugh.

- [singing] And when you need it

- Girl, get up out this dress.

- [singing] Mummy don't know Daddy's getting hot

At the body shop

Doing something unholy

He's sat back while she's dropping it

She be popping it

'Cause she put it down slowly

[music continues]

- Yes!

[music continues]

[cheers and applause] - Yes!

- Good job, girls.

- Queens, I've made my decision.

[tense music]

Lana Ja'rae...

shantay, you stay.

- [sobbing]

- You may join the other girls.

- Thank you so much.

I love you so much.

- I love you, too. Good job.

[music continues]

- Lydia Butthole Kollins...

I will always have a soft spot for you.

- [chuckles]

- Now sashay away.

- Thank you so much, all of you.

This has been the biggest dream of mine

since the show started when I was five.

Thank you. [laughter]

- Bitch!

[applause]

- Love you, Lydia!

[cheering]

- Well, shit.

[laughter]

- Lydia! - Yes, Lydia!

- To be sashaying away right now feels awful.

I never thought that scissoring

would be a bad thing, but today, well, it got me.

I would just say to RuPaul, thank you for accepting me,

for making a space for drag in the world.

And thank you to everyone who loves drag

because there's gonna be a lot of it coming your way.

Expect it to be exciting, unique,

and never boring.

[music continues]

- Condragulations, queens.

And, remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" in here? All: Amen!

- All right, now let the music play.

[singing] They wanna see you let it out

I know you wanna work, they wanna see you go off

I know you wanna work, you know I am in business

Come, let's give them just what they want

They wanna see you work

Next time on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You need to "entertaint" us

at the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent monologues.

[tense music]

- I wanted to laugh more.

- Last time I did the orders, I made a lot of people upset,

and so this time I'm thinking

of also making a lot of people upset.

I think we should set these girls up to fail.

- I will fight you, Jewels,

if you even think of pulling a stunt today.

- [singing] They wanna see you let it out

They wanna see you go off

You know I am in business

Come, let's give them just what they want

They wanna see you work

They wanna see you let it out

They wanna see you go off

You know I am in business

Come, let's give them just what they want

They wanna see you work, work, work

I know you wanna work, work

Work, work, work, work, work

Work, work, work, work, work

Work, work, work

I know you wanna work, work, work, work, work

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