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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:05,360 Okay, 2 00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:05,360 Jerry, what have you chosen 3 00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:05,360 to put in the time capsule? 4 00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,430 These are my 5 00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,430 mother's diaries. 6 00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,800 Wow. 7 00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,800 Yeah, she lived in 8 00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,800 Pawnee all of her life 9 00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,860 and recorded 10 00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,860 everything she ever did. 11 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:13,340 Yeah, so it's, 12 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:13,340 you know, kind of like 13 00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:14,710 a living document 14 00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:14,710 about the town. 15 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,840 Mmm. A disappointingly 16 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,840 good idea from Jerry. 17 00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:19,780 Better than good, Jerry. 18 00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:19,780 Perfect. 19 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:20,910 Give me that. 20 00:00:21,550 --> 00:00:24,210 "January 18, 1964. 21 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,350 "Jerrold starred in 22 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,350 his school production 23 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,350 of Peter Pan. 24 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,720 "He was 25 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,720 a beautiful Tinker Bell." 26 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:32,380 It was an all-boys school. 27 00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:37,960 Jerry! 28 00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,370 Hey, Leslie, 29 00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,370 I have an idea. 30 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,230 Why don't we put 31 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,230 Eduardo in there 32 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,830 and seal the top 33 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,830 so that he suffocates 34 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,830 and dies? 35 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,300 Okay, Tom, you're up. 36 00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:52,780 For my item, I chose a picture 37 00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:52,780 of my ex-girlfriend Lucy 38 00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:54,480 with a mustache 39 00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:54,480 drawn on her face 40 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,850 and stink lines 41 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,850 coming off her, 42 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,850 'cause she stinks. 43 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,720 She broke up with me. 44 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,720 Didn't really tell me why. 45 00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,280 Luckily, when you're the guy, 46 00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,280 you can just tell people 47 00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,280 she's crazy. 48 00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,920 "Hey, Tom, I heard 49 00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,920 you and Lucy broke up." 50 00:01:04,990 --> 00:01:07,330 "Yeah, man. 51 00:01:04,990 --> 00:01:07,330 Turns out she's crazy." 52 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,660 That's what they always 53 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,660 do on Entourage. 54 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:10,890 Ron? 55 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:12,560 I am submitting this menu 56 00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,970 from a Pawnee institution, 57 00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,970 JJ's diner, 58 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,470 home of the world's 59 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,470 best breakfast dish, 60 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:20,100 The Four Horse-meals 61 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:20,100 of the Egg-pork-calypse. 62 00:01:20,510 --> 00:01:22,000 Wendy loves it, too. 63 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,100 And I am 64 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,100 submitting this. 65 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,650 A brief history of everything 66 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,650 that has ever happened 67 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,810 since Pawnee was founded. 68 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,150 Not like you get 69 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,150 extra credit for this, 70 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,150 but I did type it from memory. 71 00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,950 And for the first 72 00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,950 time ever compiled, 73 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:39,360 it includes a complete list 74 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:39,360 of every official town 75 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:39,360 slogan we've ever had. 76 00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,900 Oh, my God, Leslie. 77 00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,900 I know. 78 00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,900 Can you believe it? 79 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:41,950 That's crazy. 80 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:41,950 Isn't it? 81 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,220 "Pawnee: 82 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,220 The Paris of America." 83 00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:47,070 "Pawnee: The Akron 84 00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:47,070 of Southwest Indiana." 85 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,570 "Pawnee: 86 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,570 Welcome, German soldiers." 87 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,070 After the Nazis took France, 88 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,070 our mayor kind of panicked. 89 00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:55,410 "Pawnee: The factory 90 00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:55,410 fire capital of America." 91 00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:58,010 "Pawnee: Welcome, 92 00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:58,010 Vietnamese soldiers." 93 00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:00,550 "Pawnee: Engage with Zorp." 94 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,780 For a brief time in the '70s, 95 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,780 our town was taken over 96 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,780 by a cult. 97 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,450 "Pawnee: Zorp is dead. 98 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,450 Long live Zorp." 99 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,510 "Pawnee: 100 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,510 It's safe to be here now." 101 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,390 "Pawnee: 102 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,390 Birthplace of Julia Roberts." 103 00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:13,330 That was a lie, she sued, 104 00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:13,330 and so we had to change it. 105 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:17,120 "Pawnee: 106 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:17,120 Home of the world-famous 107 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:17,120 Julia Roberts lawsuit." 108 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,770 "Pawnee: 109 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,770 Welcome, Taliban soldiers." 110 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,800 And finally, 111 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,800 our current slogan. 112 00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:25,330 "Pawnee: First in friendship, 113 00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:25,330 fourth in obesity." 114 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,960 Yes, Pawnee has had 115 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,960 its set of problems, 116 00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:51,690 but this time capsule 117 00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:51,690 is our way of saying 118 00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,670 that Pawnee is gonna be around 119 00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,670 for a long time... 120 00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:56,060 Capsule. 121 00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:57,130 And you can quote me on that. 122 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,800 I'm actually gonna 123 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,800 quote you on all of this, 124 00:02:58,870 --> 00:02:59,900 'cause it's 125 00:02:58,870 --> 00:02:59,900 a newspaper article. 126 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,340 I thought of 127 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,340 a great headline. 128 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,340 Great. 129 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:04,310 "It's Time to 130 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:04,310 Encapsulate the Future." 131 00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:05,880 Good one. 132 00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:05,880 Sub headline, 133 00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,780 "The Parks 134 00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,780 Department Cuts the Crapsule, 135 00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,780 Buries the Time Capsule." 136 00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,420 I'll be back tomorrow 137 00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,420 with the photographer. 138 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,680 Okay. 139 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,660 Leslie, this guy's here. 140 00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:15,380 Hi. Can I help you? 141 00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:16,580 I'm Kelly Larson. 142 00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:18,150 I read online about 143 00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:18,150 your time capsule, 144 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:19,820 and I'm here to 145 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:19,820 make a suggestion. 146 00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:21,530 Oh, I'm sorry. 147 00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:21,530 We're not taking... 148 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,960 Twilight books. 149 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,260 It's a beautifully 150 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,260 told saga of vampires, 151 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,260 werewolves and romance. 152 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,340 You are the person 153 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,340 that's been emailing me 154 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,340 about Twilight. 155 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,570 I thought you would 156 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,570 be younger. And a girl. 157 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,670 Well, I'm not. 158 00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:34,900 I'm older and a boy. 159 00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,600 But I feel very 160 00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,600 strongly that these should 161 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,410 be included. 162 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,410 Can I tell you why? 163 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,180 Sure, Kelly. Have a seat. 164 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,180 Awesome. 165 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,240 And plead your case. 166 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,240 Thanks. 167 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:45,250 Okay, Christmas Eve, 1973. 168 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,910 Author Stephenie Meyer, 169 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,910 née Morgan, 170 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,650 was born in Hartford, 171 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,650 Connecticut. 172 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,630 Oh. You're going 173 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,630 all the way back 174 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,630 to her birth. Okay. 175 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,690 So basically, Ann kissed me 176 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,690 and then April kissed me, 177 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,860 and I told April, because 178 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,860 of honesty is important. 179 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:00,220 That's so true. 180 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,670 But now she's gone 181 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,670 and gotten herself 182 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,670 a Venezuelan boyfriend 183 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,140 who's, like, 184 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,140 the handsomest 185 00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,140 dude I've ever seen. 186 00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:07,470 Present company excluded. 187 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:08,970 Oh, thank you. 188 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,070 I was talking about me. 189 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:12,870 Hey. 190 00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:14,000 Ann Perkins! 191 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,740 Andy just gave me 192 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,740 a phenomenal shoeshine 193 00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:18,280 and I did not know 194 00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:18,280 that you two 195 00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:18,280 once lived together. 196 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,350 Yes. Yes, we did. 197 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,520 Thank you for catching him up 198 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,520 on our history. 199 00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:25,220 Andy, that was 200 00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:25,220 an amazing shoeshine. 201 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:27,790 I can literally see 202 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:27,790 my face in my shoes. 203 00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:30,560 See you later! 204 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:31,930 He didn't... 205 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:31,930 He didn't pay me. 206 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,570 Why are you 207 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,570 hanging out with Chris? 208 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,630 He just sat down. 209 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:35,900 What am I supposed to do? 210 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:35,900 He's my boss. 211 00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:37,870 No, he's not. 212 00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:37,870 He isn't? 213 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,800 God dang it. 214 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,500 I cannot figure out 215 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,500 who my boss is. 216 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,200 Andy, I like this guy. 217 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,300 Please don't do 218 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,300 anything weird, I beg you. 219 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,450 I just started dating Chris, 220 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,450 and I don't know how, 221 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,110 but Andy's gonna screw it up. 222 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,020 Andy screws everything up. 223 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,750 When we were dating, 224 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,750 I bought him a fish 225 00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,020 and I don't want 226 00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,020 to get into it, 227 00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:59,960 but somehow that 228 00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:59,960 fish ended up dead 229 00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:59,960 in a cowboy boot. 230 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,220 And combined, they have 231 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,220 sold more than 100 232 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,220 million copies worldwide. 233 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,030 Now, have you seen any 234 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,030 of the Twilight movies? 235 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,190 No, I have not. 236 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,190 Well, let me 237 00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,670 describe them to you 238 00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,670 shot for shot. 239 00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,570 Movie number one. Twilight. 240 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,800 We slowly pan up 241 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,800 over a mossy log 242 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,140 to see a deer drinking 243 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,140 crystal-clear water. 244 00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:21,510 Okay, Kelly, this time capsule 245 00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:21,510 isn't just a barrel full 246 00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:21,510 of stuff that people like. 247 00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:24,580 It's about life in Pawnee 248 00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:24,580 at this moment in time, 249 00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:28,390 and there is 250 00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:28,390 nothing in Twilight 251 00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:28,390 that is specific to Pawnee. 252 00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:29,580 I disagree, okay? 253 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,960 The town of Forks, Washington 254 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,960 is exactly like Pawnee, 255 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,460 except for the climate 256 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,460 and the vampires. 257 00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:37,060 I'm sorry. I have to say no. 258 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,700 I beg you to reconsider. 259 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,100 And I'm gonna have 260 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,100 to ask you to leave. 261 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,400 Then I'm gonna 262 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,400 have to do this. 263 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,550 He brought handcuffs with him. 264 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,550 This whole thing was planned. 265 00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:53,170 I think it's kind of cool. 266 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,050 It's not cool. 267 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,050 It's trespassing, 268 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,550 and that is 269 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,550 breaking the rules. 270 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,380 Cool people make the rules. 271 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,380 They don't break the rules. 272 00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:00,010 And if those kids want 273 00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:00,010 you to break the rules, 274 00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,250 they're not 275 00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,250 really your friends. 276 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,920 Whoa, who are you 277 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,920 even talking about? 278 00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,150 I don't know. I'm sorry. 279 00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,150 I'm just annoyed. 280 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,690 But while we're 281 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,690 on the subject, 282 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,090 your friend Orrin, 283 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,090 with the long black nails 284 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,090 and the cloak? 285 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,150 He concerns me. 286 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,290 He's a genius. 287 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,600 I'll take care 288 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,600 of this trespasser. 289 00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:14,860 Give me 30 seconds. 290 00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,000 I'm just gonna call security. 291 00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:18,810 Guys, can we push 292 00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:18,810 the meeting an hour? 293 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,000 What's going on? 294 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,310 Some guy handcuffed himself 295 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,310 to a pipe in my office 296 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,900 because we wouldn't 297 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,900 put a copy of Twilight 298 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,900 in the time capsule. 299 00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:27,120 Damn it. Again? 300 00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:30,580 You look sad. 301 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,510 You look like a weird goon 302 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,510 who's obsessed 303 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,510 with a kid's book. 304 00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:34,580 It's a girl, isn't it? 305 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,580 I can tell. 306 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:38,150 It's the look that 307 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:38,150 Mike had on his face 308 00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,690 when Bella turned 309 00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,690 him down for the dance. 310 00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:41,390 Oh, yeah? Is it? 311 00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,620 What look did your 312 00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,620 mom have on her face 313 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,790 when she realized her son 314 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,790 was a complete failure? 315 00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,970 Okay, I'll be quiet. 316 00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:50,500 But I do know 317 00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:50,500 something about heartbreak. 318 00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:50,500 And you know who else does? 319 00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:52,160 Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds? 320 00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:53,300 No. 321 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,530 A little lady 322 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,530 named Twilight author 323 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,530 Stephenie Meyer. 324 00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:58,600 Trust me. 325 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,150 You should listen to him. 326 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,150 Those books are good. 327 00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:07,380 Oh, I love any 328 00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:07,380 book about vampires, 329 00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:07,380 werewolves, monsters, zombies, 330 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:11,190 sorcerers, beasties 331 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:11,190 or time-traveling romances. 332 00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,920 And if I had an hour alone 333 00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,920 with Robert Pattinson, 334 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,760 he would forget all 335 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,760 about Skinnylegs McGee. 336 00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:16,850 I'll tell you that much. 337 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,830 Okay, buddy, time is up. 338 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,830 Give us the keys. 339 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,730 They're hidden 340 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,730 somewhere very far away. 341 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,130 Then we're gonna 342 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,130 have to cut you loose. 343 00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:24,570 Why? I'm not doing 344 00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:24,570 anything wrong. 345 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,600 Yes, you are. 346 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,600 You're trespassing. 347 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,040 Well, the fact remains 348 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,040 this is perfectly legal. 349 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,600 No, it's not. 350 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,600 You're trespassing. 351 00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,970 Look, I really don't want 352 00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,970 to cause any trouble, 353 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,540 but I am not gonna leave 354 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,540 until you put Twilight 355 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,540 in the time capsule. 356 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,950 This muscle-headed 357 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,950 Stormtrooper doesn't scare me. 358 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,740 Go ahead, Artie. 359 00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,720 No! No! No! No! No! 360 00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,730 Please! 361 00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,730 No! No! No! No! No! No! 362 00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,730 Get him away from me! 363 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,250 I am very scared of you! 364 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:51,200 All right! Okay! 365 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:51,200 All right! All right! 366 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:51,200 All right! Stop. 367 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,460 If he wants to stay in there, 368 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,460 I'll let him stay in there. 369 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,000 In two hours, 370 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,000 he's gonna be so 371 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,000 hungry and freaked out, 372 00:07:57,070 --> 00:08:00,870 he's gonna be 373 00:07:57,070 --> 00:08:00,870 begging me to... 374 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,040 He brought a pillow. 375 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,480 Hey, Leslie, I'm making 376 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,480 some Sleepytime tea. 377 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,480 Do you want any? 378 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,320 Hey, dude, wake up, man. 379 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,390 Oh, morning, Tom. 380 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,790 Twilight is dope. 381 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,150 I told you. 382 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,150 I couldn't put it down. 383 00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:19,990 It was like she was 384 00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:19,990 peering into my soul. 385 00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:22,320 Sing it, friend. Here. 386 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,890 Book two. Twilight: New Moon. 387 00:08:25,370 --> 00:08:26,360 Get cracking. 388 00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:27,630 There's a second book? 389 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,970 And a third and a fourth. 390 00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,900 No way. 391 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,770 It's fantastic. 392 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,770 Yeah. 393 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,310 I worked really hard. 394 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,310 I did every pair that I could. 395 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:40,000 I didn't know 396 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:40,000 what to do with these. 397 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,780 I think they're gloves. 398 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,780 No, no, no, no. 399 00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:42,940 Those are sports sandals. 400 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,450 They are for adventure racing. 401 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,820 They perfectly 402 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,820 contour to the human foot, 403 00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:49,290 and the human foot 404 00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:49,290 is the ultimate technology. 405 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,120 Dude, 406 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,120 that is the coolest sentence 407 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,120 I've ever heard somebody talk. 408 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160 So you love April, 409 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160 and she has a new boyfriend, 410 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160 right? 411 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,300 You got all of 412 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,300 that from a picture? 413 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,530 No, you told me yesterday. 414 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,160 Andy, I want to 415 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,160 help you win her over. 416 00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:06,970 Why do I want to help him? 417 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,570 Because he's a good person. 418 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,080 I love good people. 419 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,210 Hey, you know who should 420 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,210 wear these shoes? 421 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,270 Monkeys. 422 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,320 Well, this is an 423 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,320 interesting turn of events. 424 00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:20,380 Is it? I don't know. 425 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,620 I mean, I guess it's 426 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,620 kind of interesting. 427 00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:25,090 What the real story is 428 00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:25,090 is how wonderful 429 00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:25,090 our time capsule is 430 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,560 and how it 431 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,560 perfectly encapsulates, 432 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:29,530 a word I really 433 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:29,530 think you should use, 434 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:30,860 what our town is all about. 435 00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:32,160 Hey, how's this 436 00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:32,160 for a headline? 437 00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:35,070 "Parks Department 438 00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:35,070 Foiled by Pipe Dreams." 439 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,400 God, that's 440 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,400 an amazing headline, 441 00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:38,870 but please don't 442 00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:38,870 write that story. 443 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,000 The key to April's heart 444 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,000 is within you, Andy. 445 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,970 You need to tap 446 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,970 in to the aspects 447 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,970 of your personality 448 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:49,380 that she once found attractive 449 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:49,380 to make yourself 450 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:49,380 the best version of yourself. 451 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,310 What's great about you? 452 00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:52,940 I'm nice. 453 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:54,010 Good! Nice. 454 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,060 What else? 455 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,060 I'm in a band. 456 00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:59,280 Band! 457 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,330 What else? 458 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,330 That's it. 459 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,120 Am I team Edward? Yes. 460 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,730 Do I share his concerns 461 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,730 about turning Bella, though? 462 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:09,790 Absolutely not. 463 00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,730 Edward's primary goal, 464 00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,730 at all times, 465 00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,730 is Bella's protection. 466 00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:17,010 Can you please, 467 00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:17,010 please be quiet? 468 00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:18,570 Sorry. Sorry. 469 00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:20,640 Let's keep it down. 470 00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:20,640 Be considerate. 471 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:21,710 Look at it this way, Tom. 472 00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,950 Bella's love for Edward 473 00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,950 is being tested. 474 00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:25,710 By Jacob? 475 00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:26,880 Mmm. Not exactly. 476 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,950 The Volturi? 477 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,950 Yes. 478 00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:29,010 Okay, you know what? 479 00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:29,010 All right. 480 00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:30,520 I'm gonna go do my work 481 00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:30,520 in the conference room, 482 00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:32,220 'cause you guys are the worst. 483 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,560 You seem tense, Leslie. 484 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,560 You know what you should do? 485 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,950 Read Twilight? 486 00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:39,360 Read Twilight. Here. 487 00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:39,360 Yeah, thanks. 488 00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:42,430 Sometimes I think 489 00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:42,430 she's in the Volturi. 490 00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,710 Good morning, Kelly. 491 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:48,940 Oh, morning, Leslie. 492 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,880 Hope you don't mind, 493 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,880 I moved myself 494 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,880 over to this pipe. 495 00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:51,970 It's a little 496 00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:51,970 more comfortable. 497 00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,980 No problem. 498 00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,980 Did you have a nice night? 499 00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,980 Sleep well? 500 00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:55,610 It was all right, considering. 501 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:56,710 Picked you up some coffee. 502 00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:57,770 Thank you so much. 503 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,580 Well, you seem pretty 504 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,580 chipper this morning. 505 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,580 I am, Kelly, 506 00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,590 because I know 507 00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,590 why you're here. 508 00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,790 You know what I did 509 00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,790 last night? 510 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,720 Read Twilight, 511 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,720 and it transformed your life 512 00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,460 and you're gonna put 513 00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,460 it in the time capsule? 514 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:10,860 Well, I read 515 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:10,860 the first 10 pages. 516 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,330 I couldn't really 517 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,330 get into it, though. 518 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,400 More of a Harry Potter 519 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,400 girl myself. 520 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,470 What? 521 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,470 But I looked in 522 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,470 the inside cover, 523 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:18,870 and I saw this. 524 00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:23,280 Did a little research, 525 00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:23,280 and Liz Waverly 526 00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:23,280 is 12 years old, 527 00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:25,040 a straight-A student 528 00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:25,040 at King Philip Middle. 529 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,280 She's also a member of many 530 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,480 Twilight 531 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,480 Internet message boards, 532 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,520 and I'm guessing 533 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,520 your daughter? 534 00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,860 Is that why you did this? 535 00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,860 To impress your daughter? 536 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,160 Liz's mom and I divorced 537 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,160 a couple years ago, 538 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:40,990 and it's been 539 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:40,990 really hard on her. 540 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:42,960 She loves Twilight. 541 00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,400 So, I read about your 542 00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,400 time capsule and I thought 543 00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,990 that if I could 544 00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,990 somehow convince you 545 00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,990 to get it in there, 546 00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:49,300 I'd be a big hero. 547 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,400 That's really sweet. 548 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,270 You should have told 549 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,270 me you were doing this 550 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,270 for your daughter. 551 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,240 I didn't want to 552 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,240 drag her into it. 553 00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:58,040 I'm sorry. 554 00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:58,040 This is a mistake. 555 00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,140 You don't have to put Twilight 556 00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,140 in the time capsule. 557 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,210 I think we should put Twilight 558 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,210 in the time capsule. 559 00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,620 Leslie, no. We don't 560 00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,620 negotiate with weirdoes. 561 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,990 Yeah, what happened to, 562 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,990 "A perfect encapsulation 563 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,990 of life in Pawnee"? 564 00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,780 Well, for that guy, 565 00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,780 life in Pawnee is him 566 00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,590 and his daughter 567 00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,590 reading that book. 568 00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:17,260 Besides, I can get 569 00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:17,260 Shauna on board. 570 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,990 It would make a great 571 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,990 human interest story. 572 00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:20,720 Uh, if this gets out, 573 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,460 every time you want 574 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,460 to do anything, 575 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,030 some guy's gonna 576 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,030 come into your office 577 00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,700 and handcuff 578 00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,700 himself to a pipe. 579 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:29,610 Well, yeah, 580 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:29,610 that's a good point. 581 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,340 Then we shall 582 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,340 bring the pipe to them. 583 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,380 Oh, no. 584 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,380 Oh, yes. 585 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,580 What does that mean? 586 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,580 Crackpot convention. 587 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,320 So that's what 588 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,320 today's forum is for. 589 00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,880 We're gonna hear suggestions 590 00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,880 from everyone, 591 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,790 and then whichever items 592 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,790 we generally agree on 593 00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,420 will go into the time capsule. 594 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,470 Please remember, 595 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,470 this is a government project, 596 00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,500 so we need to refrain 597 00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,500 from corporate promotion 598 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:55,560 and religious items. 599 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:56,660 Who'd like to start? 600 00:12:57,870 --> 00:12:59,200 I think we should 601 00:12:57,870 --> 00:12:59,200 put in the Bible. 602 00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:00,960 Great. 603 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,270 Eduardo. 604 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:09,550 Hi, Eduardo. 605 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:09,550 I want to apologize. 606 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,210 Just because you're 607 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,210 dating my soul mate 608 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,520 doesn't give me any 609 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,520 right to be a jerk to you. 610 00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,680 I promise from now on, 611 00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,680 I'm just gonna be 612 00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,680 super nice to you. 613 00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,090 Thank you for saying that. 614 00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,090 You're welcome. 615 00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:21,420 What CDs are those? 616 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:22,550 Mouse Rat. 617 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,700 My band. It's our 618 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,700 latest album. Yeah. 619 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,290 You like music? 620 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,290 What are you listening to? 621 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,970 The Smiths. 622 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,970 Very depressing! 623 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,000 April's making you 624 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,000 listen to that? 625 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,000 Mmm. 626 00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:33,340 She's really into 627 00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:33,340 that indie stuff. 628 00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,380 I'm more of a 629 00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,380 Dave Matthews guy myself. 630 00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,300 David Matthews! 631 00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,300 Crash into Me! 632 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,840 Yes! I love that song. 633 00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:42,120 Here you go, here. 634 00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:42,120 Take one. Check us out. 635 00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,620 We're amazing, 636 00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,620 so let me know how 637 00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,620 much you like us. 638 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:45,980 Yeah, gracias. 639 00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:47,710 That means "thank you"? 640 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,820 Yes. 641 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,820 Nailed it. 642 00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:53,130 So, we have one very 643 00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:53,130 moving case for Twilight. 644 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,590 Anyone else? Great. 645 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,330 Two people for Twilight. 646 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,330 Oh, no, no, no, no. 647 00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:58,960 I'm Marcia Langman, 648 00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,430 from the Society for Family 649 00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,430 Stability Foundation. 650 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,430 This book 651 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,430 contains pagan creatures 652 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,430 and strong sexual overtones. 653 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,810 There are girls quivering. 654 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,210 There are boys staring 655 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,210 deeply into girls' eyes 656 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,210 as they quiver, and so forth. 657 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,940 There really is 658 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,940 a tremendous amount 659 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,940 of quivering. 660 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,040 It is anti-Christian, 661 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,040 it is pro-quivering, 662 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:22,490 and the government 663 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:22,490 has no business promoting it. 664 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,090 I totally disagree. 665 00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:25,890 Well, now we have 666 00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:25,890 two people for Twilight. 667 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,160 Absolutely not. 668 00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:29,660 I'm with the National 669 00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:29,660 Civil Liberties Association. 670 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:33,190 That book actually contains 671 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:33,190 overt Christian themes, 672 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,530 and as such, 673 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,530 has no business being 674 00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,300 associated with any 675 00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,300 government project. 676 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:42,100 So too Christian, 677 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:42,100 and not Christian enough? 678 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,540 Do you see the irony here? 679 00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,040 No? Okay. Uh... 680 00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,740 Donna, why don't you put 681 00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,740 a question mark 682 00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,740 next to Twilight? 683 00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:51,850 No! You promised! 684 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,890 You promised? 685 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,890 That's not fair! 686 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,080 Wait, it's not 687 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,080 a question of fairness. 688 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,920 It's... 689 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,920 Go back to Russia, commie! 690 00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:58,580 Hey, you go back to Russia! 691 00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,790 You go back to 692 00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,790 wherever you came from! 693 00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,790 Why would I go to Russia? 694 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,990 I have no interest 695 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,990 in traveling to Russia. 696 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,990 Can I just say that? 697 00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,160 And who else? 698 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,830 I would like to 699 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,830 include my favorite book, 700 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,670 Crazy from the Heat, 701 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,670 the David Lee Roth story. 702 00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,110 Well, I think if we're 703 00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,110 gonna be adding a book 704 00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,110 to the time capsule, 705 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,400 it would probably be Twilight. 706 00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,580 I don't care about Twilight. 707 00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,580 Why is this only 708 00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,580 about his favorite book? 709 00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:20,270 I want my favorite 710 00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:20,270 book in there. 711 00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:22,440 Okay, I have an idea. 712 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,950 Two time capsules. 713 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,950 One that totally encapsulates 714 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290 what's happening 715 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290 right now in Pawnee 716 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290 in this moment in time 717 00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:30,760 and the other one 718 00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:30,760 that's just for items 719 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,350 of personal significance, 720 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,350 like Twilight. 721 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,460 No Twilight! 722 00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:36,900 Yes, Twilight! 723 00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:40,800 Hey. 724 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,430 Thanks for coming. 725 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,670 I only have a second. 726 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,670 I have to get to work. 727 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,200 Bella's going on 728 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,200 her first hunt. 729 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,200 I just don't get why 730 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,200 you broke up with me. 731 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,580 Is it 'cause I'm 732 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,580 not cool enough? 733 00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,550 Like the normal kids compared 734 00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,550 to the vampires? 735 00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,890 Is it an Edward-Bella-Jacob 736 00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,890 type situation, 737 00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,480 where you like me but there's 738 00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,480 someone else you like more? 739 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,650 Uh... 740 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,150 It's nothing 741 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,150 to do with Twilight. 742 00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,960 It just didn't work out. 743 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,760 Okay? 744 00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,300 Well, what difference 745 00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,300 does it make? 746 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,490 If we stayed together, 747 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,490 you probably 748 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,660 would have just 749 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,660 dumped me for Ron. 750 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:15,460 Actually, that's the reason. 751 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,440 I believe you when you say 752 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,440 that you're not in love 753 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,440 with Wendy anymore, 754 00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,740 but you're definitely not cool 755 00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,740 with her dating Ron. 756 00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:22,140 You talk about it constantly. 757 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,280 Well, I can't help it, okay? 758 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,680 I mean, he's so manly, 759 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,680 and he's my boss. 760 00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:29,180 Imagine if your boss 761 00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:29,180 was Angelina Jolie, 762 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,950 and then one day, 763 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,950 she just started 764 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,950 dating your ex-boyfriend. 765 00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,620 Wouldn't that freak 766 00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,620 you out a little bit? 767 00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:36,160 Well, not if I had 768 00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:36,160 a great new boyfriend, 769 00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:36,160 dumbass. 770 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,290 Look, Tom, I like you. 771 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,390 You're really cute 772 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,390 and you're funny, 773 00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,260 and you're small enough 774 00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,260 for me to throw you around. 775 00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,390 So if you ever 776 00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,390 work through this, 777 00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,390 then give me a call. 778 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,970 My grandmother lived 779 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,970 in Pawnee for 60 years, 780 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,040 and I wanna put her ashes 781 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,040 in the time capsule. 782 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,350 My cat, Turnip, 783 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,350 was the greatest cat ever, 784 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,850 and I'd like to put his ashes 785 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,850 in the time capsule. 786 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,020 For the last time, 787 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,020 and I won't say this again, 788 00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:12,080 there will be no 789 00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:12,080 human or feline ashes 790 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,890 in either one 791 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,890 of the time capsules. 792 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,960 Except for Turnip! 793 00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:19,020 No chanting. 794 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,830 Look, we don't know 795 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,830 what the world 796 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,400 is going to be 797 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,400 like in 50 years. 798 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:26,310 We could all 799 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:26,310 have been wiped out 800 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:26,310 from disease or the flu. 801 00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:28,170 So what's your suggestion? 802 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,610 I don't know. 803 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,910 I'm just scared. 804 00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:33,740 Hey. 805 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,450 Aw! 806 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,550 Andy! 807 00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:52,030 I got two microphones, 808 00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:52,030 a four-track recorder 809 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,570 and every bass tab 810 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,570 to Dave Matthews ever. 811 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,170 We're gonna jam for, 812 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,170 like, nine hours. 813 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,170 Is that cool? 814 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,230 Yeah. 815 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,230 All right. 816 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,300 That's ridiculous. 817 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,150 Now, why should 818 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,150 the Bill of Rights be 819 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,150 in the official time capsule, 820 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:09,780 but this painting of my dog is 821 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:09,780 in time capsule seven? 822 00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:14,690 Well, I think 823 00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:14,690 pet paintings/ashes 824 00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:14,690 are in time capsule four. 825 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,450 No, that's baseball cards. 826 00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:22,130 No, baseball cards are 827 00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:22,130 in time capsule nine, 828 00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:22,130 childhood memorabilia. 829 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,030 Honestly, Twilight could go 830 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,030 in almost any of 831 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,030 these categories. 832 00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:26,400 Oh, shut up, Kelly! 833 00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:27,730 Make me, Bob! 834 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,290 Okay, let's take 835 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,290 a 10-minute break! 836 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,490 Oh, God. 837 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:34,870 This time capsule's 838 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:34,870 tearing this town apart. 839 00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:36,300 You're leaving soon. 840 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,940 Can I blame it on 841 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,940 you in the press? 842 00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:40,210 Sure. 843 00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,540 Well, I gotta say, 844 00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,540 I think it's 845 00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,540 kind of impressive. 846 00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,580 I've been to a lot of towns. 847 00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,580 Usually people don't 848 00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,580 care about anything. 849 00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:47,210 I mean, don't get me wrong. 850 00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:51,120 These people are weirdoes, 851 00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:51,120 but they're weirdoes who care. 852 00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:56,520 Excuse me, everyone. 853 00:18:57,830 --> 00:18:59,860 I realize things have gotten 854 00:18:57,830 --> 00:18:59,860 a little out of control, 855 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,770 and that's Ben's fault, 856 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,770 and he's sorry. 857 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,630 But I have an idea, 858 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,630 and if you like it, 859 00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:05,600 I think we can 860 00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:05,600 end this right now. 861 00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:08,210 "Dear Pawnee of the future, 862 00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:10,430 "congratulations. 863 00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:13,950 "You have found a time capsule 864 00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:13,950 that was buried 865 00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:13,950 over 50 years ago. 866 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,580 "We wanted to include 867 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,580 a collection of items 868 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,580 that would best represent 869 00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,780 "what life was like 870 00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,780 in our town at that moment. 871 00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,590 "Instead, 872 00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,590 you'll find only one item, 873 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,490 "a video recording 874 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,490 of a public forum we held 875 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,730 "in order to determine 876 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,730 just what those 877 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,730 items would be. 878 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,030 "This is truly 879 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,030 what life was like. 880 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,570 "A lot of people 881 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,570 with a lot of opinions 882 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,610 "arguing passionately 883 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,610 for what they believed in. 884 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:43,310 "So enjoy watching it, 885 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:43,310 assuming you still 886 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:43,310 have electricity. 887 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,610 "And sorry about the weird 888 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,610 blank gap in the middle. 889 00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:50,610 "A man named Jerry Gergich 890 00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:50,610 screwed up 891 00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:50,610 the recording somehow. 892 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:53,410 "He had one job to do. 893 00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,280 "Sincerely, 894 00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,280 Pawnee of the past." 895 00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:04,320 Is Eduardo coming? 896 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:06,930 No, he went 897 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:06,930 back to Venezuela. 898 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,230 Oh, that sucks. 899 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,300 He was a really good bassist. 900 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,300 I was actually 901 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,300 starting to like him. 902 00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:14,000 I know. 903 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,540 That's what made me 904 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,540 start to hate him. 905 00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:23,040 Hey. Nice and band 906 00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:23,040 totally worked. 907 00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,720 Have you enjoyed 908 00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,720 your time with Andy? 909 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,690 Yeah, he's great. 910 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,090 And he told me 911 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,090 how great you are. 912 00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:37,990 And he told me 913 00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:37,990 that I would be crazy 914 00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:37,990 to let you get away. 915 00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,560 He did, huh? 916 00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,560 He did. 917 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,040 And also, there is 918 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,040 a pretzel stand over there 919 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,540 that serves, literally, 920 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,540 the best pretzel 921 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,540 I've ever had. 922 00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,300 Would you like one? 923 00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,300 Absolutely. 924 00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:50,400 Hey, guys. 925 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,040 Hey, Tom. 926 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,040 Tom. 927 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:54,010 Listen, I've never 928 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:54,010 seen this before, 929 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,550 so I'd really 930 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,550 appreciate it if no one, 931 00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:58,140 like, talked 932 00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:58,140 or texted or anything. 933 00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:58,140 Okay. 934 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,290 Ooh! 935 00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:05,580 Hey. 936 00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,450 Hey, Leslie, thanks 937 00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,450 for setting this up. 938 00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:08,690 Dude, what did I just say? 939 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,690 Hey, I was the guy 940 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,690 who introduced you to... 941 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,660 How about you shut up? 51498

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