Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:05,360
Okay,
2
00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:05,360
Jerry, what have you chosen
3
00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:05,360
to put in the time capsule?
4
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,430
These are my
5
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,430
mother's diaries.
6
00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,800
Wow.
7
00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,800
Yeah, she lived in
8
00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,800
Pawnee all of her life
9
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,860
and recorded
10
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,860
everything she ever did.
11
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:13,340
Yeah, so it's,
12
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:13,340
you know, kind of like
13
00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:14,710
a living document
14
00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:14,710
about the town.
15
00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,840
Mmm. A disappointingly
16
00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,840
good idea from Jerry.
17
00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:19,780
Better than good, Jerry.
18
00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:19,780
Perfect.
19
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:20,910
Give me that.
20
00:00:21,550 --> 00:00:24,210
"January 18, 1964.
21
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,350
"Jerrold starred in
22
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,350
his school production
23
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,350
of Peter Pan.
24
00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,720
"He was
25
00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,720
a beautiful Tinker Bell."
26
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:32,380
It was an all-boys school.
27
00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:37,960
Jerry!
28
00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,370
Hey, Leslie,
29
00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,370
I have an idea.
30
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,230
Why don't we put
31
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,230
Eduardo in there
32
00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,830
and seal the top
33
00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,830
so that he suffocates
34
00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,830
and dies?
35
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,300
Okay, Tom, you're up.
36
00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:52,780
For my item, I chose a picture
37
00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:52,780
of my ex-girlfriend Lucy
38
00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:54,480
with a mustache
39
00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:54,480
drawn on her face
40
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,850
and stink lines
41
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,850
coming off her,
42
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,850
'cause she stinks.
43
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,720
She broke up with me.
44
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,720
Didn't really tell me why.
45
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,280
Luckily, when you're the guy,
46
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,280
you can just tell people
47
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:02,280
she's crazy.
48
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,920
"Hey, Tom, I heard
49
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,920
you and Lucy broke up."
50
00:01:04,990 --> 00:01:07,330
"Yeah, man.
51
00:01:04,990 --> 00:01:07,330
Turns out she's crazy."
52
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,660
That's what they always
53
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,660
do on Entourage.
54
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:10,890
Ron?
55
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:12,560
I am submitting this menu
56
00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,970
from a Pawnee institution,
57
00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,970
JJ's diner,
58
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,470
home of the world's
59
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,470
best breakfast dish,
60
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:20,100
The Four Horse-meals
61
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:20,100
of the Egg-pork-calypse.
62
00:01:20,510 --> 00:01:22,000
Wendy loves it, too.
63
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,100
And I am
64
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,100
submitting this.
65
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,650
A brief history of everything
66
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,650
that has ever happened
67
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,810
since Pawnee was founded.
68
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,150
Not like you get
69
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,150
extra credit for this,
70
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,150
but I did type it from memory.
71
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,950
And for the first
72
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,950
time ever compiled,
73
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:39,360
it includes a complete list
74
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:39,360
of every official town
75
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:39,360
slogan we've ever had.
76
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,900
Oh, my God, Leslie.
77
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,900
I know.
78
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,900
Can you believe it?
79
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:41,950
That's crazy.
80
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:41,950
Isn't it?
81
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,220
"Pawnee:
82
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,220
The Paris of America."
83
00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:47,070
"Pawnee: The Akron
84
00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:47,070
of Southwest Indiana."
85
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,570
"Pawnee:
86
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,570
Welcome, German soldiers."
87
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,070
After the Nazis took France,
88
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,070
our mayor kind of panicked.
89
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:55,410
"Pawnee: The factory
90
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:55,410
fire capital of America."
91
00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:58,010
"Pawnee: Welcome,
92
00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:58,010
Vietnamese soldiers."
93
00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:00,550
"Pawnee: Engage with Zorp."
94
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,780
For a brief time in the '70s,
95
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,780
our town was taken over
96
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,780
by a cult.
97
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,450
"Pawnee: Zorp is dead.
98
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,450
Long live Zorp."
99
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,510
"Pawnee:
100
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,510
It's safe to be here now."
101
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,390
"Pawnee:
102
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,390
Birthplace of Julia Roberts."
103
00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:13,330
That was a lie, she sued,
104
00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:13,330
and so we had to change it.
105
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:17,120
"Pawnee:
106
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:17,120
Home of the world-famous
107
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:17,120
Julia Roberts lawsuit."
108
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,770
"Pawnee:
109
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,770
Welcome, Taliban soldiers."
110
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,800
And finally,
111
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,800
our current slogan.
112
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:25,330
"Pawnee: First in friendship,
113
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:25,330
fourth in obesity."
114
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,960
Yes, Pawnee has had
115
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,960
its set of problems,
116
00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:51,690
but this time capsule
117
00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:51,690
is our way of saying
118
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,670
that Pawnee is gonna be around
119
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,670
for a long time...
120
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:56,060
Capsule.
121
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:57,130
And you can quote me on that.
122
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,800
I'm actually gonna
123
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,800
quote you on all of this,
124
00:02:58,870 --> 00:02:59,900
'cause it's
125
00:02:58,870 --> 00:02:59,900
a newspaper article.
126
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,340
I thought of
127
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,340
a great headline.
128
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,340
Great.
129
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:04,310
"It's Time to
130
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:04,310
Encapsulate the Future."
131
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:05,880
Good one.
132
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:05,880
Sub headline,
133
00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,780
"The Parks
134
00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,780
Department Cuts the Crapsule,
135
00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,780
Buries the Time Capsule."
136
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,420
I'll be back tomorrow
137
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,420
with the photographer.
138
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,680
Okay.
139
00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,660
Leslie, this guy's here.
140
00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:15,380
Hi. Can I help you?
141
00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:16,580
I'm Kelly Larson.
142
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:18,150
I read online about
143
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:18,150
your time capsule,
144
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:19,820
and I'm here to
145
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:19,820
make a suggestion.
146
00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:21,530
Oh, I'm sorry.
147
00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:21,530
We're not taking...
148
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,960
Twilight books.
149
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,260
It's a beautifully
150
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,260
told saga of vampires,
151
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,260
werewolves and romance.
152
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,340
You are the person
153
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,340
that's been emailing me
154
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,340
about Twilight.
155
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,570
I thought you would
156
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,570
be younger. And a girl.
157
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,670
Well, I'm not.
158
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:34,900
I'm older and a boy.
159
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,600
But I feel very
160
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,600
strongly that these should
161
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,410
be included.
162
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,410
Can I tell you why?
163
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,180
Sure, Kelly. Have a seat.
164
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,180
Awesome.
165
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,240
And plead your case.
166
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,240
Thanks.
167
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:45,250
Okay, Christmas Eve, 1973.
168
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,910
Author Stephenie Meyer,
169
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,910
née Morgan,
170
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,650
was born in Hartford,
171
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,650
Connecticut.
172
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,630
Oh. You're going
173
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,630
all the way back
174
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,630
to her birth. Okay.
175
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,690
So basically, Ann kissed me
176
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,690
and then April kissed me,
177
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,860
and I told April, because
178
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,860
of honesty is important.
179
00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:00,220
That's so true.
180
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,670
But now she's gone
181
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,670
and gotten herself
182
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,670
a Venezuelan boyfriend
183
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,140
who's, like,
184
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,140
the handsomest
185
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,140
dude I've ever seen.
186
00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:07,470
Present company excluded.
187
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:08,970
Oh, thank you.
188
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,070
I was talking about me.
189
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:12,870
Hey.
190
00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:14,000
Ann Perkins!
191
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,740
Andy just gave me
192
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,740
a phenomenal shoeshine
193
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:18,280
and I did not know
194
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:18,280
that you two
195
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:18,280
once lived together.
196
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,350
Yes. Yes, we did.
197
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,520
Thank you for catching him up
198
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,520
on our history.
199
00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:25,220
Andy, that was
200
00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:25,220
an amazing shoeshine.
201
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:27,790
I can literally see
202
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:27,790
my face in my shoes.
203
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:30,560
See you later!
204
00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:31,930
He didn't...
205
00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:31,930
He didn't pay me.
206
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,570
Why are you
207
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,570
hanging out with Chris?
208
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,630
He just sat down.
209
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:35,900
What am I supposed to do?
210
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:35,900
He's my boss.
211
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:37,870
No, he's not.
212
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:37,870
He isn't?
213
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,800
God dang it.
214
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,500
I cannot figure out
215
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,500
who my boss is.
216
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,200
Andy, I like this guy.
217
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,300
Please don't do
218
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,300
anything weird, I beg you.
219
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,450
I just started dating Chris,
220
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,450
and I don't know how,
221
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,110
but Andy's gonna screw it up.
222
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,020
Andy screws everything up.
223
00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,750
When we were dating,
224
00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,750
I bought him a fish
225
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,020
and I don't want
226
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,020
to get into it,
227
00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:59,960
but somehow that
228
00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:59,960
fish ended up dead
229
00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:59,960
in a cowboy boot.
230
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,220
And combined, they have
231
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,220
sold more than 100
232
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,220
million copies worldwide.
233
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,030
Now, have you seen any
234
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,030
of the Twilight movies?
235
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,190
No, I have not.
236
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,190
Well, let me
237
00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,670
describe them to you
238
00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,670
shot for shot.
239
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,570
Movie number one. Twilight.
240
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,800
We slowly pan up
241
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,800
over a mossy log
242
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,140
to see a deer drinking
243
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,140
crystal-clear water.
244
00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:21,510
Okay, Kelly, this time capsule
245
00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:21,510
isn't just a barrel full
246
00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:21,510
of stuff that people like.
247
00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:24,580
It's about life in Pawnee
248
00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:24,580
at this moment in time,
249
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:28,390
and there is
250
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:28,390
nothing in Twilight
251
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:28,390
that is specific to Pawnee.
252
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:29,580
I disagree, okay?
253
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,960
The town of Forks, Washington
254
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,960
is exactly like Pawnee,
255
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,460
except for the climate
256
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,460
and the vampires.
257
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:37,060
I'm sorry. I have to say no.
258
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,700
I beg you to reconsider.
259
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,100
And I'm gonna have
260
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,100
to ask you to leave.
261
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,400
Then I'm gonna
262
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,400
have to do this.
263
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,550
He brought handcuffs with him.
264
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,550
This whole thing was planned.
265
00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:53,170
I think it's kind of cool.
266
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,050
It's not cool.
267
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,050
It's trespassing,
268
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,550
and that is
269
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,550
breaking the rules.
270
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,380
Cool people make the rules.
271
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,380
They don't break the rules.
272
00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:00,010
And if those kids want
273
00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:00,010
you to break the rules,
274
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,250
they're not
275
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,250
really your friends.
276
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,920
Whoa, who are you
277
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,920
even talking about?
278
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,150
I don't know. I'm sorry.
279
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:04,150
I'm just annoyed.
280
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,690
But while we're
281
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,690
on the subject,
282
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,090
your friend Orrin,
283
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,090
with the long black nails
284
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,090
and the cloak?
285
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,150
He concerns me.
286
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,290
He's a genius.
287
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,600
I'll take care
288
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,600
of this trespasser.
289
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:14,860
Give me 30 seconds.
290
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,000
I'm just gonna call security.
291
00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:18,810
Guys, can we push
292
00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:18,810
the meeting an hour?
293
00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,000
What's going on?
294
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,310
Some guy handcuffed himself
295
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,310
to a pipe in my office
296
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,900
because we wouldn't
297
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,900
put a copy of Twilight
298
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,900
in the time capsule.
299
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:27,120
Damn it. Again?
300
00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:30,580
You look sad.
301
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,510
You look like a weird goon
302
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,510
who's obsessed
303
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,510
with a kid's book.
304
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:34,580
It's a girl, isn't it?
305
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,580
I can tell.
306
00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:38,150
It's the look that
307
00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:38,150
Mike had on his face
308
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,690
when Bella turned
309
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,690
him down for the dance.
310
00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:41,390
Oh, yeah? Is it?
311
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,620
What look did your
312
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,620
mom have on her face
313
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,790
when she realized her son
314
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,790
was a complete failure?
315
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,970
Okay, I'll be quiet.
316
00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:50,500
But I do know
317
00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:50,500
something about heartbreak.
318
00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:50,500
And you know who else does?
319
00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:52,160
Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds?
320
00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:53,300
No.
321
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,530
A little lady
322
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,530
named Twilight author
323
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,530
Stephenie Meyer.
324
00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:58,600
Trust me.
325
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,150
You should listen to him.
326
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,150
Those books are good.
327
00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:07,380
Oh, I love any
328
00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:07,380
book about vampires,
329
00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:07,380
werewolves, monsters, zombies,
330
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:11,190
sorcerers, beasties
331
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:11,190
or time-traveling romances.
332
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,920
And if I had an hour alone
333
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,920
with Robert Pattinson,
334
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,760
he would forget all
335
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,760
about Skinnylegs McGee.
336
00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:16,850
I'll tell you that much.
337
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,830
Okay, buddy, time is up.
338
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,830
Give us the keys.
339
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,730
They're hidden
340
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,730
somewhere very far away.
341
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,130
Then we're gonna
342
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,130
have to cut you loose.
343
00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:24,570
Why? I'm not doing
344
00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:24,570
anything wrong.
345
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,600
Yes, you are.
346
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,600
You're trespassing.
347
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,040
Well, the fact remains
348
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,040
this is perfectly legal.
349
00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,600
No, it's not.
350
00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,600
You're trespassing.
351
00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,970
Look, I really don't want
352
00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,970
to cause any trouble,
353
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,540
but I am not gonna leave
354
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,540
until you put Twilight
355
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,540
in the time capsule.
356
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,950
This muscle-headed
357
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,950
Stormtrooper doesn't scare me.
358
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,740
Go ahead, Artie.
359
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,720
No! No! No! No! No!
360
00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,730
Please!
361
00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,730
No! No! No! No! No! No!
362
00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:45,730
Get him away from me!
363
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,250
I am very scared of you!
364
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:51,200
All right! Okay!
365
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:51,200
All right! All right!
366
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:51,200
All right! Stop.
367
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,460
If he wants to stay in there,
368
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,460
I'll let him stay in there.
369
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,000
In two hours,
370
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,000
he's gonna be so
371
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,000
hungry and freaked out,
372
00:07:57,070 --> 00:08:00,870
he's gonna be
373
00:07:57,070 --> 00:08:00,870
begging me to...
374
00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,040
He brought a pillow.
375
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,480
Hey, Leslie, I'm making
376
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,480
some Sleepytime tea.
377
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:04,480
Do you want any?
378
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,320
Hey, dude, wake up, man.
379
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,390
Oh, morning, Tom.
380
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,790
Twilight is dope.
381
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,150
I told you.
382
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,150
I couldn't put it down.
383
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:19,990
It was like she was
384
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:19,990
peering into my soul.
385
00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:22,320
Sing it, friend. Here.
386
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,890
Book two. Twilight: New Moon.
387
00:08:25,370 --> 00:08:26,360
Get cracking.
388
00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:27,630
There's a second book?
389
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,970
And a third and a fourth.
390
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,900
No way.
391
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,770
It's fantastic.
392
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,770
Yeah.
393
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,310
I worked really hard.
394
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,310
I did every pair that I could.
395
00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:40,000
I didn't know
396
00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:40,000
what to do with these.
397
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,780
I think they're gloves.
398
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,780
No, no, no, no.
399
00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:42,940
Those are sports sandals.
400
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,450
They are for adventure racing.
401
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,820
They perfectly
402
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,820
contour to the human foot,
403
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:49,290
and the human foot
404
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:49,290
is the ultimate technology.
405
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,120
Dude,
406
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,120
that is the coolest sentence
407
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,120
I've ever heard somebody talk.
408
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160
So you love April,
409
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160
and she has a new boyfriend,
410
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160
right?
411
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,300
You got all of
412
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,300
that from a picture?
413
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,530
No, you told me yesterday.
414
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,160
Andy, I want to
415
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,160
help you win her over.
416
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:06,970
Why do I want to help him?
417
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,570
Because he's a good person.
418
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,080
I love good people.
419
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,210
Hey, you know who should
420
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,210
wear these shoes?
421
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,270
Monkeys.
422
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,320
Well, this is an
423
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,320
interesting turn of events.
424
00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:20,380
Is it? I don't know.
425
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,620
I mean, I guess it's
426
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,620
kind of interesting.
427
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:25,090
What the real story is
428
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:25,090
is how wonderful
429
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:25,090
our time capsule is
430
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,560
and how it
431
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,560
perfectly encapsulates,
432
00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:29,530
a word I really
433
00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:29,530
think you should use,
434
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:30,860
what our town is all about.
435
00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:32,160
Hey, how's this
436
00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:32,160
for a headline?
437
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:35,070
"Parks Department
438
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:35,070
Foiled by Pipe Dreams."
439
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,400
God, that's
440
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,400
an amazing headline,
441
00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:38,870
but please don't
442
00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:38,870
write that story.
443
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,000
The key to April's heart
444
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,000
is within you, Andy.
445
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,970
You need to tap
446
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,970
in to the aspects
447
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,970
of your personality
448
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:49,380
that she once found attractive
449
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:49,380
to make yourself
450
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:49,380
the best version of yourself.
451
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,310
What's great about you?
452
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:52,940
I'm nice.
453
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:54,010
Good! Nice.
454
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,060
What else?
455
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,060
I'm in a band.
456
00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:59,280
Band!
457
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,330
What else?
458
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,330
That's it.
459
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,120
Am I team Edward? Yes.
460
00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,730
Do I share his concerns
461
00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,730
about turning Bella, though?
462
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:09,790
Absolutely not.
463
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,730
Edward's primary goal,
464
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,730
at all times,
465
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:13,730
is Bella's protection.
466
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:17,010
Can you please,
467
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:17,010
please be quiet?
468
00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:18,570
Sorry. Sorry.
469
00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:20,640
Let's keep it down.
470
00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:20,640
Be considerate.
471
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:21,710
Look at it this way, Tom.
472
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,950
Bella's love for Edward
473
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,950
is being tested.
474
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:25,710
By Jacob?
475
00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:26,880
Mmm. Not exactly.
476
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,950
The Volturi?
477
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,950
Yes.
478
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:29,010
Okay, you know what?
479
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:29,010
All right.
480
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:30,520
I'm gonna go do my work
481
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:30,520
in the conference room,
482
00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:32,220
'cause you guys are the worst.
483
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,560
You seem tense, Leslie.
484
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,560
You know what you should do?
485
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,950
Read Twilight?
486
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:39,360
Read Twilight. Here.
487
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:39,360
Yeah, thanks.
488
00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:42,430
Sometimes I think
489
00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:42,430
she's in the Volturi.
490
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,710
Good morning, Kelly.
491
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:48,940
Oh, morning, Leslie.
492
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,880
Hope you don't mind,
493
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,880
I moved myself
494
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,880
over to this pipe.
495
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:51,970
It's a little
496
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:51,970
more comfortable.
497
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,980
No problem.
498
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,980
Did you have a nice night?
499
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,980
Sleep well?
500
00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:55,610
It was all right, considering.
501
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:56,710
Picked you up some coffee.
502
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:57,770
Thank you so much.
503
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,580
Well, you seem pretty
504
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,580
chipper this morning.
505
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,580
I am, Kelly,
506
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,590
because I know
507
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,590
why you're here.
508
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,790
You know what I did
509
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,790
last night?
510
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,720
Read Twilight,
511
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,720
and it transformed your life
512
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,460
and you're gonna put
513
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,460
it in the time capsule?
514
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:10,860
Well, I read
515
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:10,860
the first 10 pages.
516
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,330
I couldn't really
517
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,330
get into it, though.
518
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,400
More of a Harry Potter
519
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,400
girl myself.
520
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,470
What?
521
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,470
But I looked in
522
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,470
the inside cover,
523
00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:18,870
and I saw this.
524
00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:23,280
Did a little research,
525
00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:23,280
and Liz Waverly
526
00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:23,280
is 12 years old,
527
00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:25,040
a straight-A student
528
00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:25,040
at King Philip Middle.
529
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,280
She's also a member of many
530
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,480
Twilight
531
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,480
Internet message boards,
532
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,520
and I'm guessing
533
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,520
your daughter?
534
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,860
Is that why you did this?
535
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,860
To impress your daughter?
536
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,160
Liz's mom and I divorced
537
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,160
a couple years ago,
538
00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:40,990
and it's been
539
00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:40,990
really hard on her.
540
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:42,960
She loves Twilight.
541
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,400
So, I read about your
542
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,400
time capsule and I thought
543
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,990
that if I could
544
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,990
somehow convince you
545
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,990
to get it in there,
546
00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:49,300
I'd be a big hero.
547
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,400
That's really sweet.
548
00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,270
You should have told
549
00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,270
me you were doing this
550
00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,270
for your daughter.
551
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,240
I didn't want to
552
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,240
drag her into it.
553
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:58,040
I'm sorry.
554
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:58,040
This is a mistake.
555
00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,140
You don't have to put Twilight
556
00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,140
in the time capsule.
557
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,210
I think we should put Twilight
558
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,210
in the time capsule.
559
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,620
Leslie, no. We don't
560
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,620
negotiate with weirdoes.
561
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,990
Yeah, what happened to,
562
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,990
"A perfect encapsulation
563
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,990
of life in Pawnee"?
564
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,780
Well, for that guy,
565
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,780
life in Pawnee is him
566
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,590
and his daughter
567
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,590
reading that book.
568
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:17,260
Besides, I can get
569
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:17,260
Shauna on board.
570
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,990
It would make a great
571
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,990
human interest story.
572
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:20,720
Uh, if this gets out,
573
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,460
every time you want
574
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,460
to do anything,
575
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,030
some guy's gonna
576
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,030
come into your office
577
00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,700
and handcuff
578
00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,700
himself to a pipe.
579
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:29,610
Well, yeah,
580
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:29,610
that's a good point.
581
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,340
Then we shall
582
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,340
bring the pipe to them.
583
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,380
Oh, no.
584
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,380
Oh, yes.
585
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,580
What does that mean?
586
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,580
Crackpot convention.
587
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,320
So that's what
588
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,320
today's forum is for.
589
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,880
We're gonna hear suggestions
590
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,880
from everyone,
591
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,790
and then whichever items
592
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,790
we generally agree on
593
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,420
will go into the time capsule.
594
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,470
Please remember,
595
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,470
this is a government project,
596
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,500
so we need to refrain
597
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,500
from corporate promotion
598
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:55,560
and religious items.
599
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:56,660
Who'd like to start?
600
00:12:57,870 --> 00:12:59,200
I think we should
601
00:12:57,870 --> 00:12:59,200
put in the Bible.
602
00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:00,960
Great.
603
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,270
Eduardo.
604
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:09,550
Hi, Eduardo.
605
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:09,550
I want to apologize.
606
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,210
Just because you're
607
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,210
dating my soul mate
608
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,520
doesn't give me any
609
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,520
right to be a jerk to you.
610
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,680
I promise from now on,
611
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,680
I'm just gonna be
612
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:17,680
super nice to you.
613
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,090
Thank you for saying that.
614
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,090
You're welcome.
615
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:21,420
What CDs are those?
616
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:22,550
Mouse Rat.
617
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,700
My band. It's our
618
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,700
latest album. Yeah.
619
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,290
You like music?
620
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,290
What are you listening to?
621
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,970
The Smiths.
622
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,970
Very depressing!
623
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,000
April's making you
624
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,000
listen to that?
625
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,000
Mmm.
626
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:33,340
She's really into
627
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:33,340
that indie stuff.
628
00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,380
I'm more of a
629
00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,380
Dave Matthews guy myself.
630
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,300
David Matthews!
631
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,300
Crash into Me!
632
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,840
Yes! I love that song.
633
00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:42,120
Here you go, here.
634
00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:42,120
Take one. Check us out.
635
00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,620
We're amazing,
636
00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,620
so let me know how
637
00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,620
much you like us.
638
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:45,980
Yeah, gracias.
639
00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:47,710
That means "thank you"?
640
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,820
Yes.
641
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,820
Nailed it.
642
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:53,130
So, we have one very
643
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:53,130
moving case for Twilight.
644
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,590
Anyone else? Great.
645
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,330
Two people for Twilight.
646
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,330
Oh, no, no, no, no.
647
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:58,960
I'm Marcia Langman,
648
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,430
from the Society for Family
649
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,430
Stability Foundation.
650
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,430
This book
651
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,430
contains pagan creatures
652
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,430
and strong sexual overtones.
653
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,810
There are girls quivering.
654
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,210
There are boys staring
655
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,210
deeply into girls' eyes
656
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,210
as they quiver, and so forth.
657
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,940
There really is
658
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,940
a tremendous amount
659
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:14,940
of quivering.
660
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,040
It is anti-Christian,
661
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,040
it is pro-quivering,
662
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:22,490
and the government
663
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:22,490
has no business promoting it.
664
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,090
I totally disagree.
665
00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:25,890
Well, now we have
666
00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:25,890
two people for Twilight.
667
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,160
Absolutely not.
668
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:29,660
I'm with the National
669
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:29,660
Civil Liberties Association.
670
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:33,190
That book actually contains
671
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:33,190
overt Christian themes,
672
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,530
and as such,
673
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,530
has no business being
674
00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,300
associated with any
675
00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,300
government project.
676
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:42,100
So too Christian,
677
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:42,100
and not Christian enough?
678
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,540
Do you see the irony here?
679
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,040
No? Okay. Uh...
680
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,740
Donna, why don't you put
681
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,740
a question mark
682
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,740
next to Twilight?
683
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:51,850
No! You promised!
684
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,890
You promised?
685
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,890
That's not fair!
686
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,080
Wait, it's not
687
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,080
a question of fairness.
688
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,920
It's...
689
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,920
Go back to Russia, commie!
690
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:58,580
Hey, you go back to Russia!
691
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,790
You go back to
692
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,790
wherever you came from!
693
00:14:58,660 --> 00:15:00,790
Why would I go to Russia?
694
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,990
I have no interest
695
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,990
in traveling to Russia.
696
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,990
Can I just say that?
697
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,160
And who else?
698
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,830
I would like to
699
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,830
include my favorite book,
700
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,670
Crazy from the Heat,
701
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,670
the David Lee Roth story.
702
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,110
Well, I think if we're
703
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,110
gonna be adding a book
704
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,110
to the time capsule,
705
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,400
it would probably be Twilight.
706
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,580
I don't care about Twilight.
707
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,580
Why is this only
708
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,580
about his favorite book?
709
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:20,270
I want my favorite
710
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:20,270
book in there.
711
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:22,440
Okay, I have an idea.
712
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,950
Two time capsules.
713
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,950
One that totally encapsulates
714
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290
what's happening
715
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290
right now in Pawnee
716
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290
in this moment in time
717
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:30,760
and the other one
718
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:30,760
that's just for items
719
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,350
of personal significance,
720
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,350
like Twilight.
721
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,460
No Twilight!
722
00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:36,900
Yes, Twilight!
723
00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:40,800
Hey.
724
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,430
Thanks for coming.
725
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,670
I only have a second.
726
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,670
I have to get to work.
727
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,200
Bella's going on
728
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,200
her first hunt.
729
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,200
I just don't get why
730
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,200
you broke up with me.
731
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,580
Is it 'cause I'm
732
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,580
not cool enough?
733
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,550
Like the normal kids compared
734
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,550
to the vampires?
735
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,890
Is it an Edward-Bella-Jacob
736
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,890
type situation,
737
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,480
where you like me but there's
738
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,480
someone else you like more?
739
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,650
Uh...
740
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,150
It's nothing
741
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,150
to do with Twilight.
742
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,960
It just didn't work out.
743
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,760
Okay?
744
00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,300
Well, what difference
745
00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,300
does it make?
746
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,490
If we stayed together,
747
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,490
you probably
748
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,660
would have just
749
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,660
dumped me for Ron.
750
00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:15,460
Actually, that's the reason.
751
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,440
I believe you when you say
752
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,440
that you're not in love
753
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,440
with Wendy anymore,
754
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,740
but you're definitely not cool
755
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,740
with her dating Ron.
756
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:22,140
You talk about it constantly.
757
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,280
Well, I can't help it, okay?
758
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,680
I mean, he's so manly,
759
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,680
and he's my boss.
760
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:29,180
Imagine if your boss
761
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:29,180
was Angelina Jolie,
762
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,950
and then one day,
763
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,950
she just started
764
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,950
dating your ex-boyfriend.
765
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,620
Wouldn't that freak
766
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,620
you out a little bit?
767
00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:36,160
Well, not if I had
768
00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:36,160
a great new boyfriend,
769
00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:36,160
dumbass.
770
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,290
Look, Tom, I like you.
771
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,390
You're really cute
772
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,390
and you're funny,
773
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,260
and you're small enough
774
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,260
for me to throw you around.
775
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,390
So if you ever
776
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,390
work through this,
777
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:47,390
then give me a call.
778
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,970
My grandmother lived
779
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,970
in Pawnee for 60 years,
780
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,040
and I wanna put her ashes
781
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,040
in the time capsule.
782
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,350
My cat, Turnip,
783
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,350
was the greatest cat ever,
784
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,850
and I'd like to put his ashes
785
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,850
in the time capsule.
786
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,020
For the last time,
787
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,020
and I won't say this again,
788
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:12,080
there will be no
789
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:12,080
human or feline ashes
790
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,890
in either one
791
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,890
of the time capsules.
792
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,960
Except for Turnip!
793
00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:19,020
No chanting.
794
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,830
Look, we don't know
795
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,830
what the world
796
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,400
is going to be
797
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,400
like in 50 years.
798
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:26,310
We could all
799
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:26,310
have been wiped out
800
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:26,310
from disease or the flu.
801
00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:28,170
So what's your suggestion?
802
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,610
I don't know.
803
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,910
I'm just scared.
804
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:33,740
Hey.
805
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,450
Aw!
806
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,550
Andy!
807
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:52,030
I got two microphones,
808
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:52,030
a four-track recorder
809
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,570
and every bass tab
810
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,570
to Dave Matthews ever.
811
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,170
We're gonna jam for,
812
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,170
like, nine hours.
813
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,170
Is that cool?
814
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,230
Yeah.
815
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,230
All right.
816
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,300
That's ridiculous.
817
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,150
Now, why should
818
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,150
the Bill of Rights be
819
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,150
in the official time capsule,
820
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:09,780
but this painting of my dog is
821
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:09,780
in time capsule seven?
822
00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:14,690
Well, I think
823
00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:14,690
pet paintings/ashes
824
00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:14,690
are in time capsule four.
825
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,450
No, that's baseball cards.
826
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:22,130
No, baseball cards are
827
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:22,130
in time capsule nine,
828
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:22,130
childhood memorabilia.
829
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,030
Honestly, Twilight could go
830
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,030
in almost any of
831
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,030
these categories.
832
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:26,400
Oh, shut up, Kelly!
833
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:27,730
Make me, Bob!
834
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,290
Okay, let's take
835
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,290
a 10-minute break!
836
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,490
Oh, God.
837
00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:34,870
This time capsule's
838
00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:34,870
tearing this town apart.
839
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:36,300
You're leaving soon.
840
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,940
Can I blame it on
841
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,940
you in the press?
842
00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:40,210
Sure.
843
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,540
Well, I gotta say,
844
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,540
I think it's
845
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,540
kind of impressive.
846
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,580
I've been to a lot of towns.
847
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,580
Usually people don't
848
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,580
care about anything.
849
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:47,210
I mean, don't get me wrong.
850
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:51,120
These people are weirdoes,
851
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:51,120
but they're weirdoes who care.
852
00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:56,520
Excuse me, everyone.
853
00:18:57,830 --> 00:18:59,860
I realize things have gotten
854
00:18:57,830 --> 00:18:59,860
a little out of control,
855
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,770
and that's Ben's fault,
856
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,770
and he's sorry.
857
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,630
But I have an idea,
858
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,630
and if you like it,
859
00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:05,600
I think we can
860
00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:05,600
end this right now.
861
00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:08,210
"Dear Pawnee of the future,
862
00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:10,430
"congratulations.
863
00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:13,950
"You have found a time capsule
864
00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:13,950
that was buried
865
00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:13,950
over 50 years ago.
866
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,580
"We wanted to include
867
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,580
a collection of items
868
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,580
that would best represent
869
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,780
"what life was like
870
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,780
in our town at that moment.
871
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,590
"Instead,
872
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,590
you'll find only one item,
873
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,490
"a video recording
874
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,490
of a public forum we held
875
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,730
"in order to determine
876
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,730
just what those
877
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,730
items would be.
878
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,030
"This is truly
879
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,030
what life was like.
880
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,570
"A lot of people
881
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,570
with a lot of opinions
882
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,610
"arguing passionately
883
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,610
for what they believed in.
884
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:43,310
"So enjoy watching it,
885
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:43,310
assuming you still
886
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:43,310
have electricity.
887
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,610
"And sorry about the weird
888
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,610
blank gap in the middle.
889
00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:50,610
"A man named Jerry Gergich
890
00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:50,610
screwed up
891
00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:50,610
the recording somehow.
892
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:53,410
"He had one job to do.
893
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,280
"Sincerely,
894
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,280
Pawnee of the past."
895
00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:04,320
Is Eduardo coming?
896
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:06,930
No, he went
897
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:06,930
back to Venezuela.
898
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,230
Oh, that sucks.
899
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,300
He was a really good bassist.
900
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,300
I was actually
901
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,300
starting to like him.
902
00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:14,000
I know.
903
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,540
That's what made me
904
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,540
start to hate him.
905
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:23,040
Hey. Nice and band
906
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:23,040
totally worked.
907
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,720
Have you enjoyed
908
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,720
your time with Andy?
909
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,690
Yeah, he's great.
910
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,090
And he told me
911
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,090
how great you are.
912
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:37,990
And he told me
913
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:37,990
that I would be crazy
914
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:37,990
to let you get away.
915
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,560
He did, huh?
916
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,560
He did.
917
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,040
And also, there is
918
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,040
a pretzel stand over there
919
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,540
that serves, literally,
920
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,540
the best pretzel
921
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,540
I've ever had.
922
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,300
Would you like one?
923
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,300
Absolutely.
924
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:50,400
Hey, guys.
925
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,040
Hey, Tom.
926
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,040
Tom.
927
00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:54,010
Listen, I've never
928
00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:54,010
seen this before,
929
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,550
so I'd really
930
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,550
appreciate it if no one,
931
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:58,140
like, talked
932
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:58,140
or texted or anything.
933
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:58,140
Okay.
934
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,290
Ooh!
935
00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:05,580
Hey.
936
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,450
Hey, Leslie, thanks
937
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,450
for setting this up.
938
00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:08,690
Dude, what did I just say?
939
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,690
Hey, I was the guy
940
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,690
who introduced you to...
941
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,660
How about you shut up?
51498
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.