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1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:02,836
- [? theme music playing]
- ? Kiff! ?
2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,429
- ? Kiff! ?
- ? Kiff! ?
3
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:09,800
? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!
Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?
4
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,802
- ? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?
- [school bell ringing]
5
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,596
- ? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?
- [engine revving]
6
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,307
? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!
Kiff! Kiff! ?
7
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:19,186
- ? Yeah! Kiff! ?
- [? theme music concludes]
8
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:24,942
[both laugh]
9
00:00:24,943 --> 00:00:28,402
[presenter 1] Brought to you
by Pablo's Popcorn Shoveler.
10
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,613
Popcorn doesn't stand a chance.
11
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,156
[? perky techno music playing]
12
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,408
- [indistinct chatter]
- Okay, after a lengthy debate,
13
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,285
we've narrowed our choices
down to two films.
14
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,746
Melons for Sale
15
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,710
or The Many Saints
of Chugga Roo.
16
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,958
I'm thinking
Melons for Sale. Barry?
17
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,877
Honestly, Chugga Roo's
piquing my interest.
18
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,589
- Trev? Tiebreaker?
- Melons. I feel it in my bones.
19
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,883
- [spits] Democracy!
- [spits] Democracy!
20
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,678
- [spits]
- [? music concludes]
21
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,930
Hey, Nick Nam�.
How are you, pal?
22
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,890
Nice to see you again,
Straight Edge.
23
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,017
Got something for me?
24
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:03,729
Nick Nam� makes you hand over
your phone before the movie?
25
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,856
Oh, no.
I hand it over voluntarily...
26
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,108
- [? tense music playing]
- ...lest the temptation
27
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:09,611
to illegally record the movie
becomes too great.
28
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:13,740
Straight Edge has my trust.
He knows himself and his limits.
29
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,616
Must be nice.
30
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,702
Should Barry and I
give our phones over too?
31
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,955
Typical Kiff, trying to suck up.
I got my eye on you two.
32
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,290
I'm itching to give out
33
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:25,502
- my first lifetime bans.
- [? sinister music playing]
34
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,842
[? upbeat music playing]
35
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,655
I guess nobody else wanted
to see Melons for Sale. Weird.
36
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,032
This movie
sounds awesome, right?
37
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,475
[projector whirring]
38
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,311
[actor 1 on screen]
Melons for sale.
39
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:46,356
- Melons... for sale!
- [? melodramatic music playing]
40
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,943
Melons for sale!
41
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,947
Melons... for sale!
42
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:58,701
Melons... for sale. Melons...
43
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,954
[breathes heavily] ...for sale!
44
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:05,125
- Oh, no.
- It's in black and white?
45
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,460
[Kiff] Oh.
Maybe this new character
46
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,836
will shake things up a bit.
47
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,297
Melons for sale.
48
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,716
Melons for sale?
49
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,800
[groans]
50
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,427
Oh, man.
51
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:17,553
[actress over screen]
Melons for sale.
52
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,055
Okay, maybe it's not too late.
53
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,806
- [actor 1 over screen] Melons...
- We bought tickets.
54
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,892
Shouldn't be a big deal
to just go see the other movie.
55
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,269
...for sale!
56
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,480
- Sure. Yeah.
- [sobbing] Melons for sale.
57
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,940
[sighs heavily] Melon!
58
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,026
Okay, we really gotta sell this.
59
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,653
What do you mean?
60
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,239
Ooh, let's see. Theater four.
Looking for theater four.
61
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,699
- [? quirky music playing]
- M... m... m... m... meh! Oh!
62
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,242
Here we go! Four.
63
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,953
Oh, yeah. [chuckling]
O... our theater number is four!
64
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:45,706
- [laughs]
- Yes, four! Not three, four!
65
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,793
It's one, two, four.
66
00:02:47,794 --> 00:02:49,585
- [Barry] Theater four!
- Not three, four.
67
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,504
- Is this it? Yeah? Okay.
- Who said anything about three?
68
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,297
- Our theater number is four!
- The theater that is printed-
69
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,134
Why would it be printed
on the ticket if it wasn't true?
70
00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:59,053
- [? cheerful music playing]
- Phew, we are in!
71
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,515
There's nothing that can stop us
from enjoying this film.
72
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,766
I have to pee.
73
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,977
What? Trevor, no.
Everybody has to stay put.
74
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,813
What if someone takes your seat
while you're gone?
75
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:12,359
I can try to hold it,
but that can go really wrong.
76
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:21,410
- [groans]
- [? tense music playing]
77
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:25,246
[Trevor] Oh! No, no, no!
78
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,915
Okay, okay, go. Just be quick.
79
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,133
Sheesh.
80
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,672
"Melons for sale.
Melons for sale."
81
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,674
"Melons for...
82
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:39,970
"sale?"
83
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,349
[groans]
84
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,936
[? suspenseful music playing]
85
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,064
[Trevor] "Emergency exit.
86
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,234
"Warning alarm will sound
if door is opened."
87
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,530
[sighs] I better text
Kiff and Barry.
88
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:06,203
Oh, no. Hoisted by my own...
How does that phrase go?
89
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,894
Uh, let me look online
to find out.
90
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,500
Oh, Trevor,
you've been hanging out
91
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,670
with Kiff and Barry
way too much.
92
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,549
- Kiff! Barry! Help-
- [? dramatic music playing]
93
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,969
[? upbeat music continues]
94
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,430
Look at all those
legally ticketed moviegoers.
95
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,348
We don't belong here.
96
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,392
Barry,
we're in the home stretch,
97
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,312
so wipe off
that guilt sweat, okay?
98
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,896
It's getting on the popcorn.
99
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,522
But what if the theater
fills up?
100
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,293
If the movie is sold out,
three people won't have seats.
101
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,946
[? dubious music playing]
102
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,157
[Trevor] Mm. [grunts]
103
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,286
[sighs] There's got to be
something I can use to escape-
104
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,586
[gasps, groans]
105
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:54,002
[gasps] Trevor, you mad genius!
106
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,171
"Trapped in hallway."
107
00:04:56,505 --> 00:05:00,926
"Please open door.
Forever yours, Trevor."
108
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,140
[? upbeat music playing]
109
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:13,646
Whoa, whoa,
I can't believe how hard it is
110
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,733
to read this
without my glasses. [spits]
111
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,571
Calculations?
112
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,031
Square footage divided
by the number of butts.
113
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,033
Theater is 78% full.
114
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,036
[? suspenseful music playing]
115
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,497
Uh, sorry!
We're saving that for a friend.
116
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,548
Are... are you sure?
117
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,169
Not a lot of seats.
I see a few in the front.
118
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,338
Might be hard
on the old neck. [groans]
119
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,631
[grunts] Take the seat.
120
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,467
Our friend, wherever he may be,
can sit up front.
121
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,886
Oh, and... and my two friends,
they also have crummy necks,
122
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,221
so we're the crummy neck bunch.
123
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,889
[chuckles] No,
we don't call ourselves that.
124
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,684
Aw, the front row?
125
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,478
When Trevor gets back,
he won't be happy.
126
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,479
Stay cool, Trev.
127
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,814
Someone will find you
eventually.
128
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,943
I just have to make sure
I keep my head. Right, Red?
129
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,653
So, what sign are you?
130
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,738
I'm an Avery's chin
with a choo-choo rising
131
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:05,819
and a fancy pants moon.
132
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,370
Whoa, ooh! What's that, Red?
"Open the exit door"?
133
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,321
"Who cares about the alarm"?
"Throw caution to the wind"?
134
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,626
This conversation is just me
talking to myself, you say?
135
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,877
- No, Red.
- [? menacing music playing]
136
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,506
I have already accepted my fate.
137
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:26,803
[? upbeat music continues]
138
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,724
We're so close to the screen.
My chin's above my nose!
139
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,475
[Nick over speaker]
We'd like to take this moment
140
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,394
to remind our audience
that phones are prohibited
141
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,855
for the duration of the movie.
142
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,065
We will find you!
143
00:06:39,151 --> 00:06:42,234
- Kiff!
- We have to let Trevor know
144
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,694
we changed seats.
145
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,030
He doesn't have his phone.
He gave it to Nick.
146
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,032
Right. I'll just text Trevor
147
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,575
and tell him to get
his phone back from Nick.
148
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,578
[chuckles] Oh, Kiff.
149
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,496
You've been hanging out
with Trevor way too much.
150
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,540
Hey, Miss Deer Teacher.
How's it going?
151
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,250
[sighs] Not great.
152
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,295
It looks like
we're out of seats.
153
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,714
I guess I'll have to cancel
my date and go home.
154
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:07,426
No, it's okay. Barry and I
can just squeeze in here.
155
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,263
- Oh!
- Where's your date?
156
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,224
She's already here.
I'm trying to love myself,
157
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,395
so I bought two seats
for a date with me. [chuckles]
158
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,813
I think we're hitting it off.
[chuckles]
159
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,982
- [chuckles]
- [munches]
160
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,318
[Nick over speaker] And now,
your feature presentation.
161
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,321
This movie better be worth it.
162
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,201
[? sinister music playing]
163
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,494
So, you're saying
164
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:36,372
I've been waiting
two years to see this movie.
165
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,790
[yells] I bought a ticket
166
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,586
but there's no seat
for me? [screams]
167
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:45,464
- [grunts, yells indistinctly]
- [crowd gasping, clamoring]
168
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,841
Kiff, I think
we're in one of those situations
169
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,468
that keep spiraling
out of control
170
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,844
until we learn a lesson.
171
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,888
Good call, Bar.
Let's get out of here.
172
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,556
[Rat] ...but now
I know that it's true!
173
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,141
- [guard] No one moves.
- [crowd gasping]
174
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,726
Looks like a couple of clowns
175
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,354
thought it was a good idea
to sneak in here.
176
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,245
- [crowd groaning, murmuring]
- [? tense music playing]
177
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,320
Yes, you're right
to murmur in dismay.
178
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,644
Now I'm gonna check
everyone's ticket
179
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,409
so we can publicly shame
these sickos.
180
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,914
Uh. Thank you. Yes.
181
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,811
- Hells, it's been forever!
- [bell trills]
182
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,420
[whispers]
Kiff, we gotta get out of here.
183
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,629
I hear you,
184
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,589
but if we just get up
and walk out now,
185
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,760
it'll be super obvious
that we're guilty!
186
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:34,305
Oh, it is spiraling.
It is spiraling so fast.
187
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,184
I think it's that way?
188
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,395
[? tense music builds]
189
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,855
Oh, there you are.
190
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,206
[pants] We... we've been
looking all over for you.
191
00:08:45,635 --> 00:08:48,610
Oh! Wh- Huh?
You didn't see? Ah! Wh-
192
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,695
[guard stammers]
Just- I need it- Wh-
193
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,821
Hey, stop!
Just gimme- [grunts] Hey!
194
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:51,864
[Kiff] Oh! Ah! Whoa! Hmm? Ah!
195
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,115
Guys! I can't-
196
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,533
- Ju- What- [grunts]
- [Kiff] Whoa!
197
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,951
[guard stammers]
I need it. One second.
198
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,619
[Kiff chuckles] Huh?
I showed it to you.
199
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,955
- G... guys! [stammers]
- Nope.
200
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,749
- [guard] Hey, stop! Just give-
- Oh, you-
201
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,960
Oh! Oh, you said you wanted
our tickets. Our mistake.
202
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,672
- [chuckles, sighs]
- [? tense music continues]
203
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,554
- [? music concludes]
- [alarm blaring]
204
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,850
I told you this was a bad idea!
205
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,685
[Barry] Trevor, you saved us!
206
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,521
We were so close
to getting busted!
207
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,689
- [? triumphant music playing]
- Kiff, Barry,
208
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,900
you've aged so gracefully.
209
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,359
How long has it been?
210
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,945
[groans] None of that
matters now. Let's just go.
211
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,489
There's a perfectly good TV
212
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,948
- at home.
- [Nick] Forgetting something?
213
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,285
[? menacing music playing]
214
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,456
"Hey, Trev. Kiff here.
215
00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:44,541
"We're moving to the front,
since there's not enough seats,
216
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,794
"because we snuck in."
217
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,463
Kiff is a very common name.
218
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,840
[? whimsical music playing]
219
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,636
[clears throat]
Please let Barry and Trevor go.
220
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,680
It was I who led them
to the other movie.
221
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,557
No, Kiff.
222
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,353
As leader of our friend group,
I should take the fall.
223
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,938
[Nick clears throat]
224
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:10,527
- [shushes]
- [? suspenseful music playing]
225
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,446
[whirs]
226
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,290
[blows]
227
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,412
[groans]
228
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,377
[? dramatic music playing]
229
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,509
It is an absolute disgrace...
230
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,971
that Melons for Sale
ever got made.
231
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,851
- [? cheerful music playing]
- However, I am also shocked...
232
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,749
that this cinema
would ever agree to show it.
233
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,498
Honestly though,
you guys should be punished...
234
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,443
for not leaving sooner.
235
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,194
But still,
I commend your bravery.
236
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,305
Totally understandable.
Horrible movie.
237
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,908
- Thank you.
- It was in black and white.
238
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,162
Where's my fire extinguisher?
239
00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:05,038
[actor 2 over screen]
Welcome to Chugga Roo,
240
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,000
where a nickel is five nuts
and a dime is 20. Don't ask.
241
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,835
- I don't make the rules.
- [? dramatic music playing]
242
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,762
- [group cheers]
- That's what I'm talking about!
243
00:11:11,763 --> 00:11:16,313
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