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[Bia] It was the most intense night of my life. And we didn't even have sex.

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-No, Fausto. My dorky side is all yours. -I'm glad.

Why did you want a relationship if you were going to cheat?

-I love you, I swear! -No, you do not fucking love me, Marcelo.

Ah, you guys, you only live once, damn it.

[Victor] I'm kind of-- My head's all messed up because of my ex.

[Paula] Can I fuck your head up for good, then?

So this is what you like, then?

You like your best friend too?

I used to.

A lot. In the beginning.

If everything goes wrong, we at least have each other.

Always.

Want to try a cream puff from that new bakery?

i'm kind of busy!

can we go next week?

[doorbell rings]

Why now? A year later?

I don't know if I reached out to you because of the play

or if I only started writing the play to have a reason to reach out to you.

♪ I like you so much ♪

♪ I'd actually rather hide it ♪

♪ I just leave it Between the lines ♪

♪ Like an idea that exists in our minds ♪

♪ And is not at all required To come true ♪

Benefits With Friends

episode 5 This is me now

Aw, stop judging me, you guys.

-Deep down, it's your fault, okay? -Hmm?

It's definitely not mine.

I've told you to go to therapy so many times

that I'm now talking about your problems with my therapist.

But it's because living with you two is maddening.

You're both so perfect.

-Uh, Helena snores. -Wow!

And Erika doesn't go to the dentist. She's full of tartar.

-Ew, really? -Oh, that's disgusting.

Hey, you guys, it's because I'm scared they'll knock me out

and put veneers in there without my consent, okay?

Stop calling me out.

No, it's your connection that's so perfect. It's so rare.

And it puts a lot of fucking pressure on everyone else, man.

The only person I've ever had any connection with was Marcelo.

[groans]

It's always nice to catch up on all your mental problems,

-but I have to go home. -She doesn't even pretend.

That's your problem. You guys always leave too early.

-That's the couple's flaw. -I figured it out!

-I figured out your flaw. -[laughing]

-[Helena] Bye. -Bye.

Are you leaving too?

No, I was just going to grab another beer.

-Why? -Oh, okay.

Do you have to meet up with Marcelo?

It's cool, you know, because once you guys got back together,

I never see you anymore.

Oh, so now it's Marcelo's fault?

You did the same thing when you started going out with your camgirl.

-Me? -Yeah.

[chuckles] Look, you can't-- you can't even find anything to say.

If you want, we can go get a cream puff from that 24-hour bakery.

I told Marcelo I'd sleep over at his place.

But I can never say no to eating a cream puff with you, Fausto.

Cream puffs and beer, then?

Cream puffs and beer.

I'll pay the bill, and you pay for the cream puffs.

Okay.

[whistles]

I'll be outside, okay?

I also had some fries. Did you include those?

Good night.

-Should we go? -Yeah.

What's wrong?

What's that face? You look like you saw a ghost.

I basically did.

Paula.

Aw. [puffs, scoffs]

Aw, are you serious? [clicks tongue]

Shit, Fausto, forget about that girl. Get over it.

Oh, says the expert in getting over it.

Mmm--

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are you really going to brood over that toxic chick?

As if we can control who we think about.

It's weird. I still have dreams about her.

Hmm.

Sex dreams.

Seriously?

[laughing]

What?

Sorry, I don't know, it's weird.

You never talk about sex, we never talk about sex,

I've never heard you talk about sex. It's weird, I don't know.

-Yeah, forget it. -[laughs]

-Never mind. -No, no.

You can talk about it. You can, I'm-- Shh.

No more giggling from me.

[stammers] Paula liked some things that were a bit different.

She said I was too nice.

She always wanted me to dominate her, like,

control her, like, boss her around somehow.

And she liked me to tie her up to things,

like, to the bed, or like, to the countertop in my apartment.

We spent hours and hours and hours having sex.

It was amazing.

When we were having sex, it was like the whole world stopped.

[Bia] This is me now, feeling horny for my best friend.

To be honest, this isn't the first time.

hey girl, where r u?

i'm super late, sorry!!

This is me five years ago.

hurry up! i'm alone here

i don't know anyone

[chuckles]

-[Giovana] I was looking for you. -[chuckles]

"Go on, go on, spin round and round to the rhythm of the party."

[all laughing]

Go, Bia, you try too. Go on.

I don't know how.

-Go on, you're an actress. -I don't know how.

"Oh, but you're an actress." I don't know how.

-[guest] Try. -"Ma, hi. Come here."

[Victor snickers]

-[Giovana] Oh, girl, no. -See? I don't know how.

-What else does he say? -[guest] Try.

"Ma!" Tongue out.

-Stick out your tongue. "Hi." -What do you mean stick out my tongue?

[pop music playing on speaker]

-Ma-- Hi! -Ah!

[laughing] Sorry, I didn't--

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, my impression of Fausto

is way worse than your impression of Silvio.

Let's hear it.

"Hey, that's crazy, you guys. Crazy, crazy, crazy."

[laughing] It's so bad.

You switch to Luciano Huck out of nowhere.

That's true.

I'm Victor. Nice to meet you.

But you can call me Fausto.

I'm Bia.

Or Silvio.

[both laugh]

What's up, kids?

Want some E?

Yeah.

-Thanks. -Thanks.

Dude, I don't-- I've never taken this, I don't…

Neither have I. But I always accept it, so they'll think I'm cool.

That's all.

…enjoy the morning, and he says, "Go on, do more, be more expansive, like this."

And today is my last day!

And I'm doing it like this-- Doing it like this for him.

[laughs]

[both laughing]

[chuckles]

-Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey. -Sorry.

Sorry, you're gay.

Aw, shit, how fucking stupid.

I thought-- I was thinking you were gay, I was wondering the whole night.

For a while I thought you were bi, then I wasn't sure, maybe bi but just at parties.

-Gay, but you hook up with friends? -I'm not gay, I just have a girlfriend.

Then why were you flirting with me?

I wasn't flirting with you.

-You were totally flirting with me. -Definitely not.

Why didn't I accept your kiss, then?

-That makes sense. -Clearly.

So, where is she, then?

She's at another party with her college friends.

And you weren't invited?

I'll bet you 50 bucks right now that you were cheated on at some point tonight.

[chuckles]

Are you sure you don't want to hook up with me?

Uh, no, I just thought you were cool. I think we could be friends.

You talk a lot. I talk very little.

It's a good combination.

I don't know if I believe in this notion of guys and girls being friends.

All my guy friends have tried to hook up with me.

Do you want to be friends with someone who rejected you?

[chuckles]

If you try to hook up with me when you find out you were cheated on,

I'm going to be so pissed at you, got it?

You'll be dead to me. I'll never look you in the eye again.

Okay. [chuckling] Sounds good.

Do you want to grab something to eat from a bakery near here?

[Bia] Cheers.

-To our dreams. -[laughs] To our dreams.

Let me get a little piece!

[phone buzzing]

[buzzing continues]

This is me now, waking up from a dream that was much sweeter than I expected.

missed call

-[motorists arguing] -[car horns honking]

Shit! Stop here.

[honking continues]

Ferreira's Lamps

Tell me you sell ring lights.

[sighs] Did you know that asking for a ring light in a lamp store

is like asking for sushi at an Italian restaurant?

-Wait a minute, I know you. -You do?

And now, unfortunately, I know you too.

Hold on. Are you this rude to everyone who comes in here?

That's why your store is empty, you know?

You think you're better than me,

working at a store that sells this atrocity.

What about that shit? How much power does this shit use?

Without a doubt, your power bill costs more than the sun's.

Look, will you forgive my rudeness if I tell you that I watched your show

and I really wanted you to win?

Really?

I'll forgive you if you let me record a video here in your store.

I have to join a live in five minutes.

I had totally forgotten. I was on my way to a party.

I just have to join this live.

If I don't, I'll have to pay a fine of one million reais.

Can you help me?

Please, I'll take a selfie with you.

Huh?

-Of course. -Go on, then.

-Okay. What-what do you need? -Uh--

-I prefer a white light, like this one. -Okay. No, wait.

-No, no, no. Yeah. -White light?

No, I'm going to find better lighting. You can relax. Sit there. Relax.

I'm going to join in five minutes--

-Five minutes? Wait. -I'm going to be a little late.

-Can't you make it ten? Wait up. -No, three for you. Three for you.

So, you guys, it's an honor for me to be the ambassador for this brand.

Seriously, I was counting down the seconds to join this live.

It's all I've been able to think about this week.

Wow, I can see that. Yeah. And the background you arranged is beautiful.

Is that your house?

No, I'm at my good friend's store.

Uh, I recommend it. And this is not an ad, okay, guys?

I'm here at…

-Ferreira's Lamps. -At Ferreira's Lamps.

They don't just sell lamps.

They sell works of art. Look at this, for example.

Right here, look at how beautiful this is.

It-it-it tells a story, you guys.

I don't know, I get emotional just looking at it.

Did you like it?

[sighs]

Today is probably the best day of my life.

Shit, that sounded crazy, right? What a lame thing to say.

No, no.

It was cute.

All of Brazil wants me.

But when guys finally manage to get me,

they pretend like it was nothing, that it was no big deal.

I don't know, to look cool.

What! I'm setting off fireworks.

Come here!

I liked the other one better.

[chuckles]

Dude, I love you, but I forbid you to fall in love

with a woman who is totally out of your league.

Because she's going to grab a big bat and hit a fastball straight into your chest.

She's the one pursuing me.

She followed me from a secret profile and asked me out on a date.

I'm not getting my hopes up.

Victor, you're watching a clip of her best moments.

I don't have anything against Eduardo.

But if he dies, nobody will miss him.

Wow, Rian. That's wonderful--

A little bit--

I'm doing it for the story. I know it won't turn into anything. But it's fun.

-[contestants arguing] -This is my truth!

She took a picture of my store.

And now my dad's little shop is on every gossip site.

It's the most random thing that's happened to me. You can't say no to that.

Look at this.

An ad for a slimming girdle, a photo from a VIP room, Juvenal's shop.

Look at this!

-So, do you like it? -Mmm!

What a fucking delicious hamburger.

-It's like an angel is French kissing me. -[chuckles]

Mmm!

-Is everything okay? -Mm-hmm.

It's this guy I'm hooking up with. Such a hottie.

But he's so annoying, and so clingy! No need to get jealous, okay?

[scoffs] I've let go of that. I've suffered enough.

If someone sees my value, they'll show me.

This guy you're texting and ignoring because of me, is that Deivisson?

-Deivisson who plays for Flamengo? -Mm-hmm.

Seriously?

Holy shit, I'm in a love triangle with you and Deivisson?

It's more of an octagon.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

-Shit. -[tapping on phone]

Can you text him pretending to be me while I eat? I can't be bothered.

-Go on! -Really?

Mm-hmm.

I'm a Botafogo fan.

Trolling a Flamengo player will be karmic revenge

on behalf of the entire Botafogo fan base.

Should I take a pic to send him? Too much?

[phone chimes]

Silvio, I don't know what time you're waking up today,

but Gi invited you to a party at her house later.

She wants to meet you.

And, oh, you can bring that shitty fuckboy of yours, okay?

Love ya. See you later.

what should we do today?

-[pop music playing] -[party guests chattering]

Look, there's Victor. Come here!

-Hey. -[Victor] Hey.

-How's it going? I'm Lucas. -[Victor] Hey. How's it going?

Oh, Lucas. So, shit, it's-it's your manager--

-Birthday? -Yes, my birthday, manager, that's me.

Make yourself at home, dude.

I have to go say "what's up" to the gin sponsor.

Sit here.

[guest] Let's go!

How are you?

So, can I kiss you or will it look bad to the other sides of the octagon?

No one here is the jealous type. Go ahead.

Hmm. Speaking of that, look who's over there.

-Is that Deivisson? -Mm-hmm. [laughs]

What is he doing here? He has a game tomorrow.

Why are you looking at me like that?

No, it's just, you're acting different. You're acting a little strange.

I'm scared of losing you again,

so I'm going to take advantage of this moment to look at you,

up close, before you ditch me.

Marcelo, we're not even back together yet and you're worried about breaking up.

We're not back together?

Look at you. You're so cute when you're insecure.

-Fuck, Bia, don't joke about that, man. -You look so cute!

-Look at me. Fuck! -Look how cute you are.

Wait a minute. No, wait a minute, I have to-- Can I take a picture?

-I'm a photographer. -[Marcelo chuckles]

-Go on, Silvio. -[chuckling] Your face.

-[chuckling] Like this? Was that okay? -Poor guy!

-Silvio. Silvio! -Oh, Fausto!

Gi, this is Bia, my best friend I told you about.

Oh, Bia!

-I've heard so much about you! -Me too.

-[Victor] This is Marcelo. -[Giovana] How are you?

-[Bia] Good. -Happy birthday.

No, actually, it's not my birthday. It's my manager's.

He's over there. Lucas.

I just take advantage of any opportunity to get everyone together at my place.

So if you guys need to celebrate a birthday,

baptism, wedding, my home is your home. It's available.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Would you grab us a drink?

-Sure. -Gin?

-I could do gin. -Yeah?

-Yeah. -Be right back.

-Okay. -Gin?

Yeah, thank you. [chuckles]

Victor told me you're really smart,

that you're cultured, that you write well, that sort of thing.

Oh, he said that? He's a liar.

Would you come up with a caption for me, something clever to post under a photo?

I want to be taken seriously among this audience.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, two gin and tonics, please.

I know you don't like me very much, but I really do love Bia.

Things are going to be very different this time.

It's not that I don't like you,

it's just that I think the world would be a much better place if you didn't exist.

If you ever hurt Bia again, my only goal in life will be to end yours.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

[pop music playing]

[sighs]

[shrieks]

What the hell, Silvio!

[chuckles]

What's the matter? What's bothering you, huh?

Did you not like Giselle?

No, she's sweet.

Did you see the stories I helped her create?

[both laughing]

Come here.

Oh, Fausto.

I don't know, it's so hard.

What happened?

Was it not special with Marcelo? Was the sex bad?

No, it was great.

Actually, it-it was excellent.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

I know you're against it, and that you judge me.

But I also know that you want to see me happy.

What's your advice?

Do I go all in, once and for all, do I keep him at arm's length,

or do I give up and run away?

The pros of you staying with Marcelo.

-Hmm. -He's undeniably handsome.

-That jawline is impressive. -Mm-hmm.

He's so tall his ancestors must have been trees.

The cons.

Everything else?

Want some E?

-Thanks! -Yup!

What do you want to do?

Want to get out of here? I'll leave with you.

Want to go back to him? I won't judge you, I promise.

The only side I'm on here is yours.

Always, okay?

[Bia] This is me now.

Divided.

Come with me.

-Hey! Do you still have some E? -Mm-hmm.

-Thank you. -No problem, sweetie.

-What's that? -Swallow.

Holy shit! You drugged me! Why did you do that?

I was fine. I don't want a bad trip. Am I going to have a bad trip?

No. I have a lot to tell you

and I wouldn't be able to if I wasn't under the influence.

But did I need to be under the influence to hear it?

What? So I'd be out of my mind on my own? And you need to talk too.

Say what?

Calm down. It hasn't hit yet.

I'm feeling strange. Am I acting strange?

-No, Victor. You're great. -Did something happen?

-I am? -Come on.

Holy shit, look at this ant.

I've never seen such a beautiful ant in all my life.

Look at how she walks. Look how elegant she is.

Seriously, I'm not even going to finish this cake.

I'm going to leave it for her.

She deserves it.

I think it has hit you.

Oh! I feel so attracted to you.

To the ant?

No. No!

No, I feel attracted to you.

As a friend?

Who the fuck tells someone they're attracted to them as a friend?

Have you never felt anything for me?

Have I always been your sister, your best friend?

Hang on, I-I'm going over there. Be right back.

I-I'll be right back.

"Hang on, be right back?"

[sighs, puffs]

What was your life like after we broke up?

I tried to turn everyone into you.

I taught them how to take suglies. [chuckles]

I brought them to the same places.

I tried to turn some of them into muses for my exhibitions, but…

my work has never been so mediocre.

That's one of the cutest and sickest things anyone has ever said to me.

I'll be right back.

[Bia, Marcelo chuckle]

Fausto, stop!

Tell me if you feel anything for me.

-Do you want me to say it first? -Sure.

I'll say it first. Okay.

The fact that you exist makes me accept…

everything I can't control.

I care so much less about all of my countless failures.

Because I have you to talk about them with.

And to make fun of the people involved in them.

And… [chuckles]

…there are so many people in the world, with so much money,

but without a Victor.

I like you too, I--

Damn.

Good thing our speeches are similarly expressive.

-What do you want me to say? -[laughing] Everything!

Tomorrow we can blame everything on the E if you regret it, it's fine.

But for now, please, tell me if you feel anything for me.

Tell me everything that's going through your head.

Okay.

[stammers]

If I had to choose someone to kiss today, it would be you.

If I had to choose one person to kiss for the rest of my life, it would be you.

If I had to choose only one person to exist in this world, it would be you.

If I had to choose the first face I saw when I woke up

every morning for the rest of my life, it would be yours.

And if I also had to choose the last face I want to see when I'm old and dying,

it would also be yours.

If I had to make any choice in life, it would be you.

Without thinking twice.

You. Always you.

All the pictures I took of you are yours.

These ones here have some notes at the bottom

with what I was thinking about when I photographed you.

You wanted my part of the text?

There it is, you can use it.

Bia…

thank you so much for letting me back into your life.

[Bia] This is me now,

living one of these moments in reality

and the other, in my imagination.

Translated by Nancy Berube Lang

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