Original subtitles

[Bia] I don't believe in relationships. I think it's wonderful for my friends.

PREVIOUSLY

I'm the official third wheel for both couples. But call me Bia.

Marcelo.

Hey, Bia, I have a sofa bed at home I don't use.

[Bia] It was the most intense night of my life.

God help me. [grunts]

Oh, sorry. I forgot that you're married, you know? And your soul is dead.

[Victor] Do you feel happy? Are you happy?

I like our usual.

[Victor] Don't you have any auditions coming up?

No. She's nobody.

[producer] We'll call you if we need you, okay? Bye-bye.

I'm afraid of having to leave Rio and move back into my mom's house in Brasília.

Be my girlfriend.

Fuck, dude, you know I don't want to be in a relationship.

What makes you so sure Luiza is the one?

[Victor] When we sit in silence without talking.

With Luiza, it's the best silence in the world.

I don't know, Luiza is everything to me. At least for now.

How about you? Do you feel that way about Marcelo?

[Bia] Okay, I'll be your girlfriend.

[stranger] Hi. You're Bia, right?

He swore you were just a model in the photos.

If my boyfriend had a girlfriend in another state, I would want to know.

Bia, listen to me. Please, listen to me.

-I was going to break up with her. -Let go!

I wasn't going to break up over text.

-Give me a chance! -Why did you want a relationship

-if you were going to cheat? -I love you. I swear!

No, you do not fucking love me, Marcelo. I never want to see you again.

Bia, my love, no one will ever make you as happy as I do.

Don't touch m-- Fuck it! Fuck it! I'll have to find that out on my own!

[pants, sobs]

I don't know what happened, but you're leaving.

-I love you, Bia. -Scram! Scram! Scram!

[Erika] Hey.

-[Helena] Whoa, man, what happened? -[Luiza] Hey.

Breathe, girl. Breathe.

[Bia sobbing]

Look at me.

[sniffs]

Holy cow, that eyeliner really is good.

It's not even smudged. It was worth the investment.

[chuckles, cries]

Can you look after her? I have to take care of something.

Victor, do not try to fight him.

Fight him? Of course not. He's much bigger than me.

I'm angry, but I'm sober.

-I'll be right back, okay? [kisses] -[sobs]

Bia, it'll be all right.

Hello, Mr. Dorival? This is Victor, from the lamp store.

Fer eira's Lamps

Sorry to call so late. Are you still interested in that lampshade?

♪ I like you so much ♪

♪ I'd actually rather hide it ♪

♪ I just leave it Between the lines ♪

♪ Like an idea that exists in our minds ♪

♪ And is not at all required To come true ♪

Benefits With Friends

episode 2 victor…

[Luiza chuckles]

Cute!

A play for the whole family! Bring yours!

-Hold on real quick. I'll be right back. -Okay, I'll wait for you inside.

[children, parents chattering]

[grunts]

What if I'm awful?

What if everyone realizes I only got this role

because my best friend paid for it with a lampshade?

[chuckles]

-Meow. -Huh?

Meow. Your character is a cat, isn't she?

Let me hear what your meow sounds like.

Meow!

-Whoa, you sure can meow. -[whimpers]

[chuckles] Really.

They're all five years old in there. Their brains aren't even developed yet.

I just saw two of them trying to stuff crayons up their noses.

[chuckles]

Come on, let's go.

All you have to do is not say "bowwow" and they'll think you're great.

Thanks.

No, it's nothing. Just a children's musical.

You deserved much more.

No. No, it's something.

I had nothing at all. Now I have something.

[children chattering]

Our seats are over there.

Want some popcorn?

-Yeah. -I'll go get some.

Hello, stranger.

[grunts] Júlia?

[chuckles]

How are you?

Uh, what are you doing here? Do you have kids now?

No, it's-- I'm friends with the pig.

Oh, okay. I'm friends with the kitty.

[Júlia chuckles]

-Popcorn? -[buzzer sounds]

Geez, I-I have to run.

Unblock me.

It's been too long.

-[barks] -[children shouting]

What-- [grunts] Where's the milk that was just here?

-[children laughing] -Was it you, Dog?

Was it you, Donkey?

[Donkey] Ooh, not good!

Where is that milk?

[braying]

Hey.

-What? -May I?

Please.

[whispers] Thanks.

[children laughing]

[Luiza chuckles]

Oh! It was you, wasn't it, Kitty?

[sighs]

Bowwow.

[snorts, laughs]

[Victor] This is me now.

The biggest mistake people make is

thinking that the secret to happiness is in avoiding routine.

The secret to happiness is in having a routine where you love every detail.

I love making Luiza's favorite hamburger recipe

while she complains about the other lawyers from her firm.

I love the memes she sends me.

And I love that she laughs at my dad jokes.

I had an idea for an acai shop catering to the religious crowd.

It would be called Acai of Heaven.

-[laughs] -[chuckles]

The only problem with a routine is that

sometimes you feel compelled to come up with something new.

Like surprising her by bringing Japanese takeout to the firm where she works.

Hello, good evening. I'm looking for Luiza Nunes.

Luiza Nunes?

She just left.

If you run, you can still catch her in the parking lot.

Okay. Thanks.

[typing]

hi, have you left yet?

[panting, moaning]

[production assistant] Two, 35, one. Take one. Mark.

[director] Action.

[singer] ♪ You can change The way you move! ♪

[all singing] ♪ You can change The way you move! ♪

♪ You can change the way you move! ♪

♪ You can change the way you move! Move! Move! ♪

[through laptop] ♪ You can change the way you move! ♪

♪ You can change the way you move! You can change the way you move! ♪

-Yep. -[video pauses]

For the first time in my life, I don't want to skip an ad.

Ah! Yeah, right.

-Seriously, I'm-- Look. -Get out!

Your charisma is going to save the real estate market.

[chuckling] Get out of here! Stop exaggerating!

-Exaggerating? -Mm-hmm.

What's exaggerated is your beauty.

-[clicks tongue] Ah. [shushes] Shut up. -[grunts]

You are the most beautiful person on the whole planet.

I'm only letting you breathe again when you stop exaggerating.

[grunts, mumbles]

You are the most beautiful person on this street.

That's still a lie. But I'll let you breathe because it's an improvement.

-It was an improvement? -It was.

-Was it a good one? -Hmm.

-Oh, yeah? -[kissing]

-[Bia] This is me now. -[moans]

I found a perfect guy.

He's sweet, sensitive, beautiful.

But I won't fall into that trap anymore.

[phone beeps]

Holy fucking shit. Go, go, go, get up.

-Get up, get up. -What is it?

My boyfriend is almost here. Get up.

Go, go, go, get dressed.

Uh, here. Here. Your shirt.

Uh, did you bring anything? Did you bring a bag?

-No, I didn't. Wait. -Cell phone? Wallet? Then let's go.

Go, go, go. No, no, no.

He's coming in through the door. Go out this way!

Go! Here, out this window here, go! Come on, come on.

-[doorbell rings] -Go, go, go!

-We are so fucking high up! -No. No, we're not.

It's chill. Go on, it's chill. You can do it! Go!

[doorbell rings]

This is me now, tired of being led on by sweet and sensitive men.

Now I'm the one leading them on.

Hi, honey.

-Hi, honey. -What happened?

Didn't you have an audition? I thought you were coming over later.

Oh, it went all wrong.

Do you have a book you can lend me? For me to read?

A book about what?

Oh, about anything. I need to be deeper.

Have a seat, honey.

What happened? Tell me.

-At the audition? -Yeah.

I had an audition for the musical The Lion King. You know it?

Yeah.

I was auditioning for Simba, who is the lion's son.

So I did super well on the audition. I memorized everything perfectly.

But then the director started asking me a bunch of questions, and I got confused.

What did he ask you?

Oh, he asked me what the play was about.

So then I thought and said, "lions."

[laughs]

Yeah, they laughed too.

It was like I had just said a joke. I didn't understand.

Then they started saying a bunch of stuff.

Uh, something about Shakespeare, something about Hamlet.

Was I wrong, Bia?

The name of the play is Lion King. What is it about? Lions, isn't it?

[Bia] This is me now. I understand the meaning of life.

At least I think I do.

I'm taking this book here, okay. I like it.

That's a magazine.

[Victor] No excuses, Luiza. You have no integrity.

I want you gone. Do you have any idea what you've done?

You threw it all away. You threw away everything we had. And for what?

I can't sleep even one more night next to you. I can't…

[knocks]

Did you forget we're celebrating the premiere of my commercial?

[sighs]

♪ Change the way you move! ♪

-[sings, chuckles] -♪ You can change the way you move! ♪

♪ You can change the way you move! ♪

-[mumbles song] -[song ends]

Let me play it again, wait.

Girl, this song is going to haunt me for the rest of my life

-if you ever play it again. -[song starts]

But I love it, okay?

Yay!

I think my acting career has really started to take off now.

They saw me in that play and asked me to audition for this commercial.

And now they saw me in this commercial and they asked me to audition for a movie.

-[doorbell rings] -Oh, you guys are going to love him!

[Erika] I'll get it.

Thanks, Fausto.

There's not a single chance we'll get along well with a dumb actor.

[boyfriend] Hey, there.

-[Bia] Hi! -Hi. Guess who brought everyone chocolate?

-[Bia] Ah. Thank you. -[boyfriend] Hi, honey.

-How are you? -Great.

[Erika laughs]

And how did you two meet?

[chuckles]

Uh… [clicks tongue]

It was nighttime.

I was walking.

Then I looked up. At the sky.

And the moon was really, really amazing.

Hmm. And-And Bia?

[boyfriend] Huh, Bia?

Oh, because the place I chose to look at the moon from,

to look up at the sky, right?

I was in the middle of a busy road.

Then this car was coming, and Bia saved me.

She pushed me out to the sidewalk.

Wow, how romantic.

The moon brought us together.

I love the moon.

Have you ever noticed it has different shapes?

Sometimes it's like this, see, a big round ball, super round.

And then, suddenly, out of nowhere, it's just half.

And then, on a different day, it's super thin.

Yes, the phases of the moon.

Oh!

I knew I wasn't the only one who noticed that.

-The faces of the moon. -Phases. Phases of the moon.

[boyfriend mutters] Phases of the moon.

-[Erika] Hi, what's up? -[Bia] Hi!

-Hi. Hi, honey. -[boyfriend] Hi, hey.

Guys, I'm beat. I'm going straight to bed.

But you can totally hang out here.

I'm a heavy sleeper. I won't even hear anything.

-[Bia] Aw. Okay. Good night. -[Erika] See ya!

Sílvio, why are you dating that airhead?

Oh, he's not that dumb.

Is he really not?

You're going to like Pedro more.

Who's Pedro?

Pedro is Mr. Dorival's son. He's the theater manager.

And I'm cheating on Cézar with him.

He's more your style. He's a good boy.

[chuckling] What?

It's part of my plan to forget Marcelo

by getting involved with people as different from him as I can.

Now I'm the person calling the shots.

I'm going to get back at all the men in this city.

One by one! [cackles]

Right.

And what about the much simpler and more realistic plan

where you stay single and focus on your career, on your house?

How's that leak in your ceiling coming along?

Oh, yeah? And how's your house anyway?

-What about my house? -What about your house?

-It's the house of a normal adult. -Oh, really?

Then come here, you big adult.

Who picked out that sofa?

-Luiza. -Oh!

And who picked that rug? Who picked your fridge?

Who picked your paintings? Your television?

Everything in your house either belonged to Luiza or she's the one who chose it.

But I was there too. I paid for it too.

It's easy when you have someone organizing everything for you.

Choosing everything.

Don't you ever want to-to choose anything?

To buy something that's your style, that you like?

Let's go, guys. Wake up, Cézar.

gorgeous

i loved seeing you

I think when I used to come here this store had more stuff, didn't it?

Yeah. So it did.

When you used to come here, my dad was alive, and so were his customers.

And there wasn't that modern new lighting store a block away.

[chuckles]

Come with me. Come on.

-Come with me. Come on! -Come where?

-Don't argue. Come on. -Where are we going?

-Come on. -Wait-- I need to close this.

-I'm not leaving this open. -Close it!

Fuck.

I hate LED lights. LED lights are killing the chickens.

Seriously?

They're using it to hatch their eggs.

The chickens stay awake all night long. They get depressed and die.

[laughs] Oh, Victor.

I'm serious.

[chuckles, sighs]

What are you doing?

Huh?

Switching the price tags to sabotage the competition.

[laughs]

To help you and the chickens.

Look. Here, look.

[chuckles]

[whispers] Come here.

-Wait, wait. -Come here.

-Wait, Ju. -Come! [chuckles]

[chuckles]

This is me now, remembering what Júlia was like.

-[teacher] Júlia Guerra. -Present.

-Júlia Leme. -Here.

-Júlia Oliveira. -Present.

[Victor] She was the seventh Júlia in our roll call…

Present.

And, at recess, she was my double for foosball.

I always played defense and she played offense.

-[student] Here, here! Go, go! -No one ever beat us.

[cheering]

Júlia would get on her tiptoes to kiss me.

She'd stretch up, smile, look deep into my eyes and kiss me.

Oh, and we always ditched afternoon classes to go to the movies.

Tell me when to stop adding butter.

You know I won't tell you to stop, right?

I love butter more than I love my own mom.

[both laugh]

At the end of our high school festa junina,

after lots of alcohol, we snuck out to the preschool playground.

That day, I was terrified someone might catch us

and I would get kicked out of school.

But life with Júlia was so magical,

she always got me to go along with every adventure she came up with.

And that was the first time I ever saw breasts in real life.

It was magical.

Júlia gives the best head massages in history.

I'm confident wars could be prevented

if Júlia could give head massages to the leaders of the opposing countries.

She starts at the back of your neck

and when her hands reach the front of your neck,

it's like everything in the world is just perfect.

She broke up with me after she got into college and made a new group of friends…

Would you like some butter?

I never managed to eat buttered popcorn again.

No.

Victor.

Wait, Júlia. Wait.

Are you still in a relationship?

My bad. It's just that you texted me, so I thought you'd broken up with her.

Did you really just want to be friends again?

Or did you want to cheat and got cold feet just now?

You can tell me, okay? I won't judge.

I wanted to ask you something.

Ask away.

When you broke up with me,

was there anything I could have done to prevent it?

Like, did you ever cheat on me?

Number one, I would never cheat on you.

And two, it wasn't about you, it was about me, Victor.

I became someone much different in college.

-I wanted to experience things, you know? -And you couldn't experience them with me?

We can't experience all the things in the world

with just one person, can we, Victor?

And did you manage to experience all the things in the world?

[Victor sighs]

Let's take a walk.

Then we can vent, talk some more, watch a movie.

No, I can't, I have to mind the store.

Stop.

Let's ditch afternoon class together.

Put more butter in there, just a little.

-Oh, hold on. Watch out, watch out. -[giggles]

THEATER 2

Listen up. Of course we beat everyone at foosball.

-Because I carried us. I was the star. -Oh, no, no, no.

I have to disagree with you. You scored the points,

but we only won because I'm the best foosball goalie

in Brazilian sports history.

I was the Taffarel of foosball.

[Júlia] Oh, for God's sake.

[Pedro] Hey, Bia, you need to repair that fridge, you know?

It smells like you stashed a dead body in there.

Yeah.

What's wrong? Is your sofa broken too?

Maybe, or maybe I am.

[Pedro sighs]

I wouldn't throw you out for anything in the world.

But that sofa, I can carry it out to the trash with you.

-Here is fine. Go, go. -Turn left. No, turn left here.

-There we go. Okay, now turn left. -And turn. No, no, no.

My left or your left? Here, out here.

This is fine. Here is fine! Okay!

[both laugh]

Wow, what a heavy sofa.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

You should pick me.

Date me.

I--

I can be the love of your life.

Give me a chance.

Oh, my God. You're already part of my life.

That's all I can offer you right now.

And don't ruin what we've got, please. Everything is so perfect.

Perfect for you, right, Bia?

Either you break up with him and just be with me…

or I'm going to have to stop seeing you.

Then I'm sorry.

[Pedro sighs]

[grunting]

[panting]

This is a crime. We're trespassing on private property.

Who cares about private property, Victor?

The only thing that really matters

is finding out who among us is better at foosball.

There are thousands of foosball tables all around the city.

We don't need to break into the school to do that.

I don't give a shit. Let's go, Victor.

-Damn it. -See? Now you have to admit I'm the best.

-Never! Never! -What are you talking about?

-I just-- Wait, where are you going? -[laughing]

Júlia!

[Júlia giggles]

Come on. Don't you want to come in?

I can't.

[sighs]

[Victor grunts]

[scoffs] Life really blows, doesn't it?

Or at least life's lack of timing.

Like, before, you wanted it and I didn't. Now I want it and you can't.

Sometimes I would get a bit depressed,

and then I'd post some song we used to listen to.

Because I thought there was some hope that you-- I don't know.

That you could be stalking me with a fake account or something.

That you would worry.

And send me a message, like, "Hey.

I know it's been a long time, but I'm here for you, you know?

We've got history."

Do you know what I wish?

I wish you would come in here right now and start kissing me.

I would kiss you back.

You would take my clothes off, I would take yours off.

You would make some stupid joke, because you always do at the worst time.

I would shut you up by kissing you again.

I would dig my nails into your back.

I would leave you all scratched up.

Because then, when you leave, you would take me with you.

[Júlia sniffles]

But since none of that will happen, I think we had better just get going.

Just call me every now and then to see how I'm doing.

[sizzling]

Mmm.

Mmm!

[chuckles] Where on earth did you get that vase?

-I saw it in a shop window. -Hmm.

I thought it went well with the house.

With what house?

A haunted house.

From that carnival they have in the supermarket parking lot.

[chuckles]

I have the right to have at least one item I've chosen here in this house, don't I?

But, honey, it doesn't go well with anything.

Maybe if I bought more things I like, it would start going well with more.

If you put that vase next to every single object on planet Earth,

one at a time, it still wouldn't go well with any of them.

Why can't you pretend to like the vase?

Geez, I pretend to like everything you pick out.

You don't like the things I picked out?

No, I do. I do like what you pick out.

You have better taste. And the vase really is ugly.

I know the vase is ugly, but-- I don't know. I liked the vase.

I thought it was special.

I thought we were living in a different time now, without gender roles.

I mean, you picked out everything in this house!

[gasps]

[laughs]

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I feel really bad that I laughed, I swear.

But you have to admit it was funny that you broke it after all that.

Why are you cheating on me?

Who was that guy you were hooking up with in the car?

Was it just once? Or has it gone on for a long time?

I tried to ignore it,

to pretend nothing was happening, to move on with my life.

If it's just a passing thing, I don't know, maybe we can overcome this.

I think it's normal after being together for a long time--

It's not.

What? It's not what?

A passing thing.

Are you in love?

I'm not ready to talk about it. You caught me off guard.

Wait a minute, Luiza. What are you saying?

Where are you going? Do you want me to go to my mom's house?

To give us some time? So you can think it over?

Luiza, talk to me! Luiza, talk to me, wait a minute!

Vi.

I fought hard against what I'm feeling.

I tried, but I just couldn't find it in me to be brave enough to end what we have.

Because it's beautiful.

And it can still be beautiful.

I want to still be able to be your best friend.

Or one of them, at least.

But since you found out,

we should just rip off the Band-Aid already.

We've been together for two years. You owe me an explanation, at least.

I'm so unhappy.

I'm sorry.

She was so eager to get rid of me that she didn't worry about the apartment.

She left me the rental contract for the house that used to be hers.

Fausto.

We love Luiza, but to hell with her, okay?

We're with you.

I don't want you to stop talking to her.

She must be sad too and needs to get it off her chest.

No, no, no, Victor. Stop being so fucking nice.

She cheated on you. She used you like a doormat.

Unleash your inner toxic masculinity and cuss her out, right here, right now.

No one is going to cancel you.

Repeat after me, "I hope that fucking bitch gets run over by a car."

I'm not going to say that. I'd prefer a gentler death.

Like, I want her to die, but it doesn't need to be a painful, traumatic death.

Okay, that's a start, at least.

What's the next step?

Your therapy is to become a player.

My best friend is going to become a player.

You are going to fuck everyone in Rio.

I'm introducing you to all my single friends.

And you're also going to use those hookup app things.

You're posting a photo without a shirt on. Come on, Victor, react.

[moaning]

[snorting]

[moaning, chuckles]

[laughing]

Ah, no, no, no. My bad, my bad, my bad.

What is it?

Remember I told you I'm a medium?

Mmm.

You recently lost your dad, right?

He's over there, watching us.

[moaning] Cummy cum cum!

Cummy cum for your little kitty cat!

Ooh, your little peeny feels so cuddly!

[laughing]

[laughing continues]

party at billygoat's house!

[Cézar] Bia. Bia?

-Bia! -Hmm?

This audition is important to me, okay?

-Okay. -Here goes.

[exhales]

See foo shee pah!

See foo shee pah! See foo shee pah!

[exhaling, inhaling sharply]

♪ I can show you the world ♪

♪ Shining, shimmering, splendid ♪

♪ Tell me, princess, now When did you last let your heart decide? ♪

♪ I could open your eyes ♪

♪ Take you wonder by wonder ♪

♪ Over, sideways and under On a magic carpet ride ♪

The carpet.

♪ A whole new world ♪

doing anything?

♪ No one can tell us "no" Or where to go ♪

♪ Or say we're only dreaming You and me ♪

wondering if i can ever connect with someone

the way i did with Luiza.

come to a party with me?

let's go.

♪ That now I'm in A whole new world with you ♪

-Cézar. -[Cézar continues singing]

♪ A whole new world ♪

-Cézar! -[singing ends]

Was that good?

Listen up here for a minute.

What I'm about to tell you will seem cruel, but it's not.

-This is for your own good. -Go ahead.

You're a horrible actor.

And I don't love you.

And, like, that's great!

If you think about it, this is actually very good.

-Because weren't you trying to be deeper? -Uh-huh.

That's what you need. You need--

You need sadness, you need--

You need pain, you need hatred, you need suffering.

So I hope you feel a lot of pain over me.

Because--

Because it'll be great for you, okay?

I'm-- I'm going to have to go out for a bit,

because I have something I need to do.

But, uh-- Take your time here. Make yourself at home, okay?

Go fix your life, please?

No, there's no nee-- To hell with it.

Go ahead. If Júlia doesn't show up,

I'm drinking until I lose my dignity and call someone else.

-You are not doing that. -Maybe the medium.

I need some advice from my dad about what to do about that rival store.

Are you really going to be all right?

I am.

Go on, go. We deserve to be happy.

We do, we do deserve it. We deserve something magical.

-Come on, we are really, really nice. -We are so darn nice!

Go on, go.

If everything goes wrong, we at least have each other.

Always.

Pedro.

Seriously? You're serious?

Drop her!

I choose you!

Sorry, sweetie, I'm drunk. I don't have time for sisterhood.

What are you doing here, Bia?

[Bia] This is me now, waiting for the magic to happen.

It's going to happen.

Any moment now.

It's going to happen. Something has to happen.

Shit.

[Victor] This is me now,

asking myself if Júlia was the love of my life this whole time.

"Eyes, look your last."

[shudders]

"Arms, take your last embrace.

Lips,

O you, The doors of breath,

seal with a righteous kiss.

A dateless bargain to engrossing death."

Was that good? Deep?

Translated by Daniel Erlich

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