Original subtitles

[Upbeat instrumental music]

Manuelo, I can't believe that we overslept.

Good morning to you, too.

We really need to hurry, our car pool's here.

I am packing your lunches. And I reviewed your Spanish homework, as requested.

Thanks, we really appreciate it.

It is a great honor for me to help you with Spanish.

California's first language. California's future language.

Thanks, Manuelo.

It's the language of Miguel de Cervantes, Pablo Picasso...

Carlos Fuentes and Carlos Santana.

Yeah, it's also the language of Speedy Gonzalez. ¡Ándale!

It is also the language of the navigators, the explorers...

and los conquistadores.

- Great. We just missed our car pool. - How are we going to get to school?

[Chuckling]

Don't worry. Manuelo will take you.

I wonder if Ferdinand Magellan ever had to go into a car pool.

[Fast-paced, upbeat instrumental music]

RILEY: Thirteen, eight.

Why can't I ever remember this stupid combination?

LARRY: Twenty-two. RILEY: Thanks.

Larry, is that you?

LARRY: Let me check. Yeah, it's me.

Larry, what are you doing in my locker?

I wanted to surprise you. Start the morning with some great news.

Let me guess. You're going to get beamed back up to the mothership?

No. We, you and me, us. Well, I--

Yeah. We are going to be biology lab partners.

[Dramatic instrumental music]

I will create a bride!

A bride.

[Eerie laughing]

[Riley screaming]

Is this going to be great or what?

LARRY: Riley?

[Theme song playing]

[Upbeat instrumental music]

- What's the matter with you? - I don't want to talk about it.

Another girl with the same shoes?

Worse. I'm West Malibu High's Good Citizen of the Month. Again.

- I'm so depressed. - Am I missing something here?

Riley, this represents promptness, good work habits, helping others.

If this doesn't stop, I'm going to get a reputation.

Yeah, I can see it now, written on the boys' locker:

For a good example, call Chloe.

Real funny.

What's the big deal? Except for me, nobody knows you got it anyway.

CONNER: May I ha ve your attention, please. This is Vice Principal Conner.

I'd like everyone to put their hands together for Chloe Carlson.

[All clapping]

Winner of this month's coveted Good Citizen A ward. Come on.

I'd like us all to learn from Chloe's good example.

Especially you, Mr. Morgan.

What is the school policy on scooters?

I don't know. Always yield to the lunchroom ladies?

You're coming with me, scooter-boy, because you've got detention.

That Travis Morgan is hot.

Yeah. And he's trouble.

I know. And the worst part is, he doesn't even know I'm alive.

Nothing new about that.

Chloe, you're always chasing after guys who aren't interested in you.

It's called the hunt, Riley. It's what makes it interesting.

Pointless. But interesting.

What do I have in common with Travis anyway?

I have a citizenship award...

and he's in detention so much, he gets his mail sent there.

Sounds like the only way you'll meet him is if you get in detention.

Did I really just say that?

Sounds like the only way you'll meet him is if you get in detention.

I guess I did say it.

Yeah. Detention.

Wow, thanks, Riley.

I have got to learn to keep my mouth shut.

[Soft instrumental music]

You know, I've been thinking.

And I really hate to admit it, but Riley is right.

I'm always chasing after the wrong guy or the totally disinterested guy...

or the guy who doesn't even know I exist.

I guess it all started when I was around five.

The Malibu Mermaid Nursery School.

His name? Billy Schisler. A rebel.

At snack time he refused to drink his milk through a straw.

He was so hot.

I used to finger-paint his name over and over again.

All I wanted was one shot with him at the seesaw.

But no matter what I did, you know...

push my cot next to his at nap time, or let him win at Simon says...

or squirt grape juice through my missing front teeth...

he never gave me the time of day. And it made me crazy.

I guess I'm the type of girl who can't stand being ignored.

Then again, what girl can?

I've got to go. I'm going to be late for class.

Wait a minute. Don't you get detention for that?

[Doorbell ringing]

For you. I smoked you a ham.

You did?

- Why? - Since we're separated...

I thought I'd take some of the energy we used to spend on arguing...

and channel it into something more creative, like the culinary arts.

That's why I have got 30 more of these in the trunk of my car.

Thirty more? It's just my luck.

Most guys in their mid-life crisis take up golf, and you take up cold cuts.

What's with all the stuff?

I, too, have been rechanneling my energies.

Downsizing. You know, just getting rid of some of the junk.

My baseball-fan hand.

Like that.

Anyway, we have accumulated a ton of stuff over the past 15 years.

Come on, Mace. You sound like we're a couple of out-of-control shopaholics.

We never bought that much stuff.

You clear this place out, this would be a great smokehouse.

[Fast-paced instrumental music]

Mom, can I talk to you?

Of course. Unless it involves algebra. That's a Dad call.

No, it's not a math problem. It's a boy problem.

Maybe this is a two-brownie conversation.

When you were young--

[Macy clearing throat]

- When you were my age... - Better.

...did you ever like a boy who wasn't interested in you?

Never.

Honey, I am kidding. Of course, it's totally normal. It happens to every girl.

Especially if that girl happens to be chasing someone named Travis.

How did you know it was Travis?

How did I know it was Travis?

Subtle?

Whoever this Travis is...

if he doesn't notice you, that's his loss.

You are beautiful, you're smart.

You've got everything going for you. Besides, you're only 14.

There will be plenty of time for boys.

That's funny. That's what I said when my mom gave me the same lame advice.

Did you follow it?

Only after making a whole bunch of stupid and embarrassing mistakes.

Wow. Thanks, Mom.

[Soft instrumental music]

What's with all these videos?

I'm getting ideas of how to get detention.

You're really going to go through with this detention thing?

[People yelling on TV]

- What is this? - Gone in Sixty Seconds.

That's about stealing cars. What's that have to do with getting detention?

There's always the driver's ed car.

Die Hard? Speed? I Know What You Did Last Summer?

This is crazy.

What do you expect me to do, Riley? Pass notes or throw spitballs?

When I am led into detention...

and Travis Morgan leans over and asks, "What are you in for?"...

I want to tell him something that rocks.

Good luck. But I hope you know how this is all going to end.

[Dramatic instrumental music]

But I haven't fixed my makeup.

And if that doesn't scare you, picture yourself in an orange jump suit.

[Upbeat instrumental music]

MISS WESTMORE: You boys! Enough of that roughhousing!

Okay, pal, was that supposed to be funny?

I didn't do anything. She did.

Do you expect me to believe a model student like Chloe...

would pull a stupid prank like that?

That's okay, Chloe. You, come on. You've got detention.

Wow. That went well.

Getting into trouble isn't as easy as it looks.

Chloe, do you realize how crazy this is?

You've been chasing Travis around ever since he moved here.

Now you're trying to get thrown into detention...

all for a guy who doesn't even know your first name.

And what do you even know about him?

Larry! Go away!

No, I know you can hear me. Leave me alone.

What?

Sure, criticize me for chasing a guy I don't know.

But there's a guy who adores you, and you won't even give him the time of day.

But it's Larry.

But who's to say if you gave Larry a chance...

get to know him a little, you may discover the real Larry.

A whole new Larry.

[Fast-paced instrumental music]

This is a great rocker, I'll take it.

No, you won't. That is mine.

Come on, why should you get it? This all stuff we got together, remember?

Are you forgetting that fight we got into at the furniture store?

I wanted the original Stickley, you wanted the La-Z-Boy.

I believe that was the beginning of your Al Bundy phase.

Whatever.

We'll decide this later. For now, I'll just put it...

between your pile of keepers and my pile of keepers...

in the demilitarized zone.

- Café? - Thanks, Manuelo.

You know, it occurs to me, if you see anything you like, feel free.

That is so generous, señora Macy.

You know, I have always admired this.

No. I think what she meant was...

you can help yourself to anything from over here.

MANUELO: You mean anything from the let's-give-the-broken-junk...

to-the-male-nanny- from-the-Third-World pile?

I love Liberal guilt.

[Soft instrumental music]

Call me crazy, but Chloe's right.

I mean, I don't know anything about Larry, other than he idolizes me.

And who could blame him?

So, I've decided to boldly go where no man has gone before.

And certainly no woman.

I'm going to give Larry a chance.

Riley? What? How did.... What did you....

- Larry. - Am I about to die?

Larry, chill. I've been thinking.

We are lab partners. Maybe you can come over to the house.

We could work on biology together.

You know, kind of like a study date.

Me? And you?

A date?

I'll take that as yes.

I didn't drop that water balloon. Chloe did!

I am tired of the pranks. I am tired of everybody blaming Chloe Carlson.

Now move it. You've got detention.

[Students chattering]

[Upbeat instrumental music]

LARRY: Hi. RILEY: Hi.

- So can I come in? - Yeah.

Sorry. I was a little thrown by your being so...

normal.

You are going to stay that way, aren't you?

Is that for us?

We're going to be hitting the books. So I figured we may get a little hungry.

Good thing I brought my cheese spray.

Want a blast?

You know, Larry, maybe this was a really bad idea.

Why don't we just do this over the phone?

What was that? And please tell me it was your stomach.

[Frog croaking]

It's our frog.

Frog? You mean the frog from biology lab?

You know the rules. You're not allowed to take the frogs out of the biology lab.

But we dissect him tomorrow.

Don't you think he deserves to get out and party a little?

Party? Right.

We pack his little swim suit and we'll all head to MTV's Spring Break.

Cool. He could do a little hip-hop.

What's going on?

- Is that a frog? - Larry snuck him out of biology lab.

Know how much trouble you can get in for that? That's a automatic detention.

Give me that.

[Twins screaming]

RILEY: No. He got away. CHLOE: Where'd he go?

LARRY: Get it!

Chloe, look under the couch. Here, boy.

Here, boy. Here, boy.

Hello, Kermit, I got a nice, big, juicy fly for you.

Here, boy.

Now that's what I call a successful yard sale.

- Jake, nobody bought anything. - Yeah, but I sold 28 hams.

Hi, dudes.

Is there something we should know?

- No. - Not at all.

Really?

[Frog croaking]

- What was that? - What was what?

I had some bad cheese spray.

[Frog croaking]

Guys! It's starting to sound like there is a frog in the house.

No.

Then, what is that?

[Macy screaming]

Mom, I can explain.

Look, it's my fault. I'm the one that brought the amphibian into the house.

There he is!

[Twins screaming]

- Don't worry. I got him. - What about those two?

Oh, my God, they're multiplying!

- What do you mean.... - I kind of liberated all the frogs...

but don't worry because they're all in my backpack.

[Frogs croaking]

MACY: Larry! CHLOE: Oh, my God!

Run!

[Fast-paced instrumental music]

[All screaming]

Here she is. Run!

- What's with them? - What do you expect?

In case you haven't noticed, everyone you talk to winds up in detention.

- Which is why I'm going to eat over there. - Okay, look.

I know this whole detention thing was crazy. You were right.

It was a stupid idea, and it never worked anyway.

Miss Carlson, littering? Quite frankly, I am shocked.

I think a certain someone just got herself detention.

Really? Great!

Right in there, Miss Carlson. And please sign in.

Travis.

I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but I just got in detention.

- Cool. I'm just getting out. - What?

- I've done my time. - But where are you going?

I thought we could get together sometime, do something.

I'm sorry. My parents made me promise...

not to hang out with anyone who could get me into trouble.

You know, like you. So....

See you.

Hi.

[Students muttering]

[Soft instrumental music]

Where's Manuelo? I've got to tell him how good this cake is.

I think he said something about taking a long hot bath.

[Doorbell ringing]

RILEY: Yes, Larry?

I just wanted to apologize for last night. That's it.

It's okay, Larry. You're forgiven.

And the good news is that I got all the frogs safely back in the lab.

- We got them all. - Help! Frogs in my tub!

[Frogs croaking]

[Shouting in Spanish]

LARRY: Plus or minus one. ALL: Larry!

[Fast-paced instrumental music]

English - SDH