Original subtitles

- Any luck with Career Day? - Batting zero.

I've asked the lifeguard, the pro surfer, and the bodybuilder down at Muscle Beach.

Is there anybody you asked whose uniform does not consist of a Speedo?

Remember, Manny, this time not so much starch on my jeans, por fa vor.

Not a problem.

Problem!

My guest is Manuelo Del Valle.

And he's been with my family for 15 years.

I do housekeeping, ironing...

[Drum roll]

and so much more.

- You take the sofrito and you go.... - Bam!

What happened to the family portrait?

Nothing. It's just.... It's old, so I thought I'd have a new one done.

The portrait of a family was just taken...

and I assumed that I was part of that family.

Obviously, I was wrong.

I quit.

- No, Manuelo. - No, no, no.

Manuelo! Manuelo!

Manuelo! Dad, he's not here. Let's go back out.

Oh, honey, honey. Come on, look.

We've been driving around for the last three hours looking for Manuelo.

- My gas-pedal foot's asleep. - But, Dad!

Honey, look. I want to find Manuelo as much as you do.

Just give me a second to take a little break, all right? Get my circulation back.

Oh, look. It's Manuelo's grocery list.

"Buy snack pudding for Chloe and Riley's lunch."

All right, all right. Come on, honey. We'll go.

- Okay! - Wait a minute.

This is not Manuelo's grocery list. This is a receipt for Mom's dry cleaning.

I know. But he was supposed to pick it up.

CHLOE: Manuelo! RILEY: He's not here!

Oh, are you okay? Sorry, Dad.

Yeah, it's okay, honey. I got another one just like it.

Okay.

I guess you guys didn't find him, either?

No, and we looked everywhere.

- Kirsten's Soaps and Candles. - Malibu Casuals.

- Sylvia's Handbags. - The Shoe Barn.

Wait, wait, wait. Whoa.

You guys weren't out looking for Manuelo. You were on a shopping spree!

That's not true at all, Jake.

The fact that everywhere we looked for Manuelo had a sale was...

you know, a happy coincidence.

Besides, when Mom and I feel sad, we shop.

And right now, even though I got these really great new shoes, I feel sad.

- I can't believe Manuelo's really gone. - I know, honey.

I can't believe that we didn't ask him to be in the family photo.

I mean, who's more family than Manuelo?

[Sighing]

- What? - I was just thinking.

I mean, I feel bad...

but you must feel really bad.

Why would I feel worse than you?

You asked Manuelo to Career Day.

That image of him standing in front of a class will probably haunt you forever.

Uh-oh.

Wait a minute. You had Career Day at school...

and you didn't ask us?

Come on, Riles. Let's get out there and look for Manuelo.

- Right. Can't sleep until he's back home. - Freeze!

It's just.... It's just Career Day.

You know, Dad and you....

I mean....

- Chloe, you want to field this one? - Yeah.

Oh, hey, look, you guys. Forget it.

When it comes to work, you know, careers...

it's no secret your mom and I have our differences.

Yeah, well, Jake, I think I've kind of gotten past that. I've accepted things.

- Yeah, but not my leaving the business. - I didn't say that.

- No, but that's what you meant. - No. Don't tell me what I meant.

You know, I'm getting to see why you asked Manuelo.

Yeah, it was a good idea.

Okay, so how did it go?

He was great. He got three encores.

What if he never comes back? If we never see him again?

Oh, hey, hey, you guys, look.

It's not like Manuelo's been gone forever. He's only been gone a couple of hours.

- Do you really think so, Dad? - Dad's right.

Yes, if I know Manuelo, he will walk through that door any second.

Any second.

Mr. Del Valle...

I must admit, your resume is very impressive.

You need a new chef? The credentials are impeccable.

Let's see. In 1979, you studied with Wolfgang Puck.

1980-81, personal chef for Jack Nicholson.

Oh, yeah, baby. I introduced Jack to the first Laker Girl.

I still get the Christmas cards.

1982 through '84, traveling chef...

for Gloria Estefan.

The Miami Sound Machine!

[Singing]

- Do you dance, Mr. Del Valle? - Do I dance?

I salsa, I rumba, I tango.

Sometimes, I lambada.

And once, at a bar mitzvah, I did the hokey-pokey.

- Right foot in. - Left foot out.

You know, not one of my four husbands ever danced.

- You've been divorced four times? - Widowed.

But they all died happy.

Anyway, you're hired.

- Really? - Yes.

And you should know, we'll be working very closely together.

- Closer than this? - Yes.

And I think I should point out, Manuelo...

my management technique is the same as my approach to men.

Very hands-on.

I don't hate it.

Oh, yes, of course. I know the dresses have to be in the New York showroom...

by tomorrow afternoon.

Morning? I knew that.

[Knocking on door]

Oh, Manuelo? Oh, it's you.

- Thanks a lot. - Hi, yeah.

No, no, of course. Everything is absolutely ready.

No problem. Get your hand off my thighs!

Sorry. No, gosh, I'm talking to Jake.

You know, can I call you back? Thank you.

- Still no word from Manuelo, huh? - No.

No calls, no messages.

You know, while I'm here now, why don't you let me help out with the kids' lunch?

- Okay? - Okay.

Okay. All right. Riley gets the Fritos, Chloe gets the Cheetos.

Riley gets the Raisinets. Chloe gets the Goobers.

The banana is for Riley...

[Phone ringing]

and the phone is for you.

RILEY: [Narrating] Malibu house. Kitchen. 7:48 a.m.

Chloe and I were upstairs getting ready...

to crack the case of Manuelo Del Valle, missing person.

We were starting a dragnet.

[Detective-style instrumental music]

I searched for a recent photo of Manuelo.

Maybe a shot we could circulate around town.

I was ha ving a hard time coming up with something we could use.

What do you think about this one?

You can't use that. He's dressed as Peter Pan for Halloween.

Really? I thought he was the Jolly Green Giant.

The other side of the bedroom. 7:49 a.m.

Chloe finishes compiling a list of places Manuelo is known to frequent...

places we would check out in the afternoon.

Malibu Yogurt, Beach Yogurt, Eddie's Yogurt By The Beach....

Malibu Yogurt By the Sea, Yummy Tummy Ocean View Yogurt.

We quickly noticed a pattern was beginning to emerge...

and that Manuelo may want to ha ve his cholesterol checked.

7:51 a.m.

Chloe and I tell Mom and Dad about our plan to track down Manuelo.

They think it's a good idea.

They wish us luck. We hug.

7:52 a.m. We lea ve for school.

7:53 a.m. Chloe realizes she forgot her lunch.

Los Angeles. The city. 9:15 a.m.

We know Manuelo's out there somewhere. But where?

9:17 a.m. West Malibu High.

As much as we need to answer that question...

our investigation is rudely interrupted by history class.

And a pop quiz!

Malibu beach house. 10:30 a.m.

Our search for Manuelo wasn't the only manhunt stalled.

Mom wasn't ha ving much luck finding what we hoped...

would be a replacement for Manuelo.

His name, Tiny. He said he was good with kids.

He had 40 of them, in 30 different states.

West Malibu High. 12:30 p.m.

Chloe had an idea.

Surprisingly, it was a good idea.

Hey, I have a good idea.

Okay. Why don't we get someone to draw a sketch of Manuelo...

pass the copies out to students, you know, broaden our dragnet after school.

I remembered that Larry had once studied art.

Yeah, sure.

I once studied at the Matchbook School of Art.

I drew a great Tippy the Turtle.

3:15 p.m. We had a sketch.

Sort of.

3:17 p.m. The hunt for Manuelo begins.

Little did we know, someone else was in the hunt.

Manuelo, as you know, we're closed Monday night.

Yes.

It just so happens, I have two tickets to the Hollywood Bowl.

- Placido Domingo is performing. - Placido Domingo?

[Praising Domingo in Spanish]

I would do anything to hear Domingo sing. Anything.

I was hoping you would say that.

Ay, ay, ay.

Did I say "anything"?

Could this be the end of Manuelo?

Manuelo?

- What are you doing in this place? - I work here part-time.

I'm the welcome lobster. What are you doing here?

- I'm the new chef in this place. - Oh, this is great.

I gotta go call Riley and Chloe. They've been looking all over town for you.

Hey, but I got a question first.

Could you get some change out of my shell?

No, because you can't call anybody. You can't call Riley, nobody.

Because it is not the business of the Carlsons that I work in this place now...

and it is going to remain our little secret.

But if I tell Riley, then I'll be her hero.

You're not going to be the hero of Riley...

after I tell her what your real first name is.

Nice try. Nobody knows my real name.

Is that so, Spartacus?

How do you know that? That's supposed to be a secret.

Because I had a chitchat with your brother Hercules.

By the gods, Hercules, how could you?

Could this just, like, remain a secret between the chef and a lobster...

because that'll ruin me.

Excellent. Now you and I have a deal.

Give me the claw.

3:45 p.m. Neptune's Net.

While Chloe and I comb the city for the missing Manuelo...

Larry the Lobster takes an oath of silence.

Cracking this lobster was gonna be child's play.

Los Angeles. The city. 9:14 a.m.

Day four of the search for the missing Manuelo.

Progress: none.

Malibu beach house. 9:19 a.m.

Mom asked about the progress of the case.

- So, any progress? - None.

West Malibu High. 10:33 a.m.

Our dragnet has only been in operation four days...

and already kids are losing interest.

Malibu beach house. 4:14 p.m.

The missing Manuelo has no idea how much he's truly missed.

Jake, I really wanna tell you how much I appreciate your pitching in around here.

Oh, hey, think nothing of it. It's my pleasure.

It's kind of like old times, you know, when we were still together.

- Is that a new perfume? - It's Easy-Off.

Stick around. In about an hour, I'm gonna smell like Ty-D-Bol.

- Do you hear that? - Hear what?

The silence.

God, it is so quiet without Manuelo here.

Yeah, I had no idea how much we'd miss the guy.

Man, he was so vibrant, you know? A real life force.

Yep, the house is just empty without him.

Yeah, well, at least he's left us something to remember him by.

All right, you know, we've got to cheer up.

The girls are sad enough. They can't see us moping around.

You know what? It'd probably do us all a lot of good...

to just get out of this house tonight.

What do you say I treat you guys to a fresh seafood dinner?

Gosh, Jake, I just don't think I'm in the mood...

for another one of your kelp and seaweed salads.

No, I'm talking Neptune's Net. Come on, it'll be fun.

- Oh, hey, now, that is a good idea. - Okay.

- Hey, who are you calling? - Making a reservation.

What, at Neptune's Net? Since when do you need to make a reservation?

Oh, haven't you heard? They have this fantastic new chef.

3:42 p.m. Mom books a table for four.

Hi, I'd like to book a table for four.

Little did we know, it would turn into a party of five.

Neptune's Net. 7:42 p.m.

Things were heating up for the new chef...

but all the cooking wasn't being done in the kitchen.

Did you enjoy yourself as much as I did last night?

Oh, I did, baby.

You know, considering how much fun we had last night...

Oh, we did.

...I thought it was time for you to meet my parents.

Manuelo, I was only kidding.

[Manuelo excusing himself in Spanish]

Here, dessert's on me.

Hi, Larry.

Hi, Riley.

Hey, there you are. Do you know who's here?

I know who's there. Get rid of them.

- I can't. They have a reservation. - They can't see me here.

Okay, if I don't seat them, I'm gonna lose my job.

Now, what are we gonna do?

Larry, what size shell are you?

Neptune's Net. 7:57 p.m.

Something was going on, and it smelled fishy.

[Crashing]

- Okay, what the heck was that all about? - You know Larry.

Malibu beach house. Kitchen. 8:45 p.m.

Larry spills his guts.

Look, okay, I wanted to tell you, I swear.

But Manuelo, he would not let me.

He said that if I told you...

that he'd tell you my real name and then you'd just laugh.

Larry, that's ridiculous. We're all mature people here.

We wouldn't laugh.

Yeah, come on, what's your real name?

I am Spartacus.

10:42 p.m. Neptune's Net is about to close...

and so is the case of the missing Manuelo.

So, this is your family?

Was.

You miss them?

I did not know that I missed them so much until they walked in the door.

Well, here's your chance to tell them. They just walked in again.

- Hi. - Hey, Manuelo, how are you?

[Speaking Spanish]

Manny, we are.... I can't tell you how sorry we are...

and how really bad we feel that we hurt your feelings.

You know we think you're family.

And we feel really bad that we didn't ask you to be in the photo.

Will you please come home? We really miss you. Please?

You're making it so hard for me to negotiate.

Hey, I'm sure Macy's gonna give you a raise.

What?

I mean, I'm sure we can talk about that.

So what do you say, man?

Will you give us another chance if we include you in the family photo?

- It would be an honor to be included. - Great!

We were hoping you'd say that. You're on.

Great. Let's make this fast.

I have to get back to my job at the DMV.

Okay, Mom, Dad, let's have a seat.

Girls, okay, Manuelo. You look fabulous!

Okay, come on. Everybody lean in, look at me. And smile.

Malibu beach house. Kitchen. 7:45 a.m.

Day one of the missing Manuelo's return.

It was quickly established it was a good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Even Dad stopped by for coffee.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

7:47 a.m. Mom proposes a toast.

- I'd like to propose a toast. - All right.

To Manuelo, welcome home. May you always be part of this family.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

It was great to finally ha ve everything back to normal.

[Larry groaning]

Could somebody please help me, one of you guys?

My zipper's jammed, and I really gotta go to the bathroom!

Yep. Back to normal.

That's so not.... What is it?

JESSE HEAD: Here we are on the set.

Preparing to film the episode "Manuelo in the Middle."

Hello.

This is certainly not my best fashion moment of the season.

Not a good look for Manuelo, either.

All right, one and all?

Okay, here we go.

Bring it on. Bring it on.

[Laughing]

Just some pre-show jitters.

I love taping in front of a live audience.

It really adds to the excitement of the show.

Thanks for coming. See you soon.

English - SDH