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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,119 Hey, Riley, Blur is in concert this Saturday night. 2 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,634 Maybe we should try to get tickets. 3 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,633 Chloe, I don't even know if I'm going to make it to Saturday night. 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,791 - What's the matter with you? - What's the matter with me? 5 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,758 How about the 15 hours of community service... 6 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,274 we have to do this week? 7 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:19,990 Ugh! 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,430 Ugh? 9 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,795 You lucked out. 10 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,760 You get to spend 15 hours playing bingo with some senior citizen. 11 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,833 I've been assigned a half mile of the Pacific Coast Highway... 12 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,957 to pick up trash and litter. 13 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,111 Fresh air, exercise. 14 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,954 You get to work on your tan. I mean, what's the big deal? 15 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,193 LARRY: Hey, Riley, you ready to keep America clean? 16 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,758 That is the big deal. 17 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,992 Hey, I want you to come see something. 18 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,312 Oh, great. You finally figured out what I'm wearing in the Toronto Fashion Show? 19 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,393 Oh, who cares about the stupid fashion show? It's only Canada. 20 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,720 Look at this. 21 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,709 "Hi, are you the same Macy Ingledow who went to Fresno High... 22 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,315 "and was voted class clown in 1985?" 23 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,316 "Ingledow? Class clown?" 24 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,880 Oh, it's my maiden name. And people in Fresno aren't very funny. 25 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,035 So, who's this guy, Wayne Jennings? 26 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,674 Wayne Jennings. 27 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,151 Just the most gorgeous guy I've ever, ever met... 28 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,436 who I had this huge crush on in high school... 29 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,274 and back then, he didn't even know I existed. 30 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,352 Of course, I mean, that must've happened to you. 31 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,716 Me? Yeah, right. 32 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:44,072 Anyway, he is coming to town and he wants to get together. 33 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,995 - Oh, a little rendezvous, huh? - Yeah, I know.... 34 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,470 Well, what are you waiting for? Just hit "reply"... 35 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,155 - and type Y-E-S. - Well, Tedi.... 36 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,040 - Don't send that. - Oh, you know you want me to. 37 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,794 - No, not really. - Try and stop me. 38 00:01:58,440 --> 00:01:59,556 No! No, I-- 39 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,756 COMPUTER: Message sent. 40 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,680 He's got mail. 41 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,598 [Screaming] Hi. Clayton Simms? I'm Chloe Carlson. 42 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,876 We're going to be spending some time together. 43 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,954 Will you stop screaming? I am not deaf. 44 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,676 So, we're gonna take the first hour together... 45 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,194 and I'm gonna read to you. 46 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,237 The Scarlet Letter. 47 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,559 Whoa! I hope my heart can handle all the excitement. 48 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,553 - Can you give me just a second? - Yeah, the bathroom's right down the hall. 49 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,555 - Don't start without me. - Oh, I won't. 50 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,915 Wait a minute. I've been dumped. 51 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,197 Nobody dumps Chloe Carlson. 52 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,596 [Knocking on door] 53 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,754 - Yeah, come on in. It's open. - Hey, Jake. 54 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,113 Whoa, Jake... 55 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,873 your use of color is innovative. 56 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,236 The way you swirl the mustard and the mayonnaise. 57 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,516 You're a regular cold-cut Picasso. 58 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,479 - It's only a sandwich, Ed. - Don't forget the tomato. 59 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,594 Look at this. 60 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,077 I never could get the hang of one of these things. 61 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,959 - Ed, you're a heart surgeon. - Yeah, but I'm with an HMO. 62 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,073 I almost forgot why I came. 63 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,949 Oh, wow. Very impressive. "Separated Guys Of Malibu Helpline." 64 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,156 Put it by your phone, Jake. 65 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,551 As a newly separated guy, you never know when you're going to need to reach out... 66 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,313 and make that emotional 911. 67 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,950 Yeah, thanks, Ed, but I hardly think I'm going to need to call you. 68 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,794 Yeah, that's what I thought until I found a pair of... 69 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,839 men's boxer shorts at my separated wife's house. 70 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,116 Oh, man! She left them right out in the open? 71 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,873 No, I had to dig for them. 72 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,514 I found them at the bottom of her sock drawer. 73 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,432 So, you snooped? 74 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,831 You'll learn, Jake. That's what we separated guys do best. 75 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:40,990 [Laughs] 76 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,197 [Punk rock music playing on radio] 77 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,592 People are such pigs! 78 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,514 I take it you want to return that highway you adopted? 79 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:15,039 I filled 16 huge trash bags with cigarette butts, candy wrappers... 80 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,713 chicken buckets, tires... 81 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,029 an old smashed up TV... 82 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,589 and an old surfboard with a shark bite through it... 83 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:24,993 and one book on tape, Growing up Purple, Biography Of Barney The Dinosaur. 84 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,959 Now you know I read that book. 85 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,555 I did not know about the abused childhood... 86 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:33,111 and the struggle with the weight, and the four marriages. 87 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,032 - Manuelo, I'm not in the mood. - Okay. 88 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:38,830 [Chloe sighs] 89 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,837 So tell me, how was the first day of the community service? 90 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,479 Let me put it this way. 91 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,917 My senior citizen burned rubber in his wheelchair trying to get away from me. 92 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,912 You know, he's probably in Oxnard by now. 93 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,590 Manuelo, if you were a 78-year-old man... 94 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,353 what would be your idea of fun? 95 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,270 A date with a 65-year-old woman. 96 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:04,840 [Knocking on door] 97 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,758 Hello! Anybody home? 98 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,235 [Groaning] 99 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,554 COMPUTER: You've got mail. 100 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,038 "Dear Macy, I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to seeing you... 101 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,918 "when I come through L.A. on Friday. 102 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,957 "It's been years since high school, so I guess... 103 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,271 "we have a lot of catching up to do. 104 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:40,593 "Perhaps even live a moment we could only dream about way back then." 105 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,996 Okay. 106 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:50,476 Okay. 107 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,394 Yeah, hey, Ed, it's Jake. You busy? 108 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,997 You can transplant a heart anytime. 109 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,040 I'm in crisis. 110 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,918 Come on, admit it. Wasn't the Santa Monica Pier fun? 111 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,118 Too hot. Never that hot when I was young. 112 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,274 And this stupid panda bear you won for me is probably flammable. 113 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,200 Made by prison labor in China. 114 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,597 You are such a grouch! 115 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,435 I mean, we spent the whole afternoon together and all you do is complain! 116 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,639 "The beach is too sandy. The sky is too blue. You call that an ocean? 117 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,474 "Now back in the '50s, now that was an ocean!" 118 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,679 - I mean, isn't there anything you like? - Yeah, being left alone. 119 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,349 I'll just sign this stupid assignment card... 120 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,671 say you put in your 15 hours. 121 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,399 - Fine! - Fine! 122 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,800 Wait a minute. 123 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,357 According to this, tomorrow is your birthday. 124 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,320 No, it isn't. It's a typo! Besides, I hate birthdays. 125 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,277 How could you hate birthdays? 126 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,671 You get a cake, party, presents. 127 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,392 Who needs all that stuff? I hate all that stuff. 128 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,951 Now listen, I don't want you to make any big deal over this. 129 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,679 Make a big deal? 130 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,674 Who, me? For a birthday? 131 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,720 Hee, hee, hee. 132 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,556 COMMENTATOR: [On TV]Coming up next... 133 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:35,839 your very own Los Angeles Dodgers take on the Philadelphia Phillies. 134 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,557 Come on, Riley. There's a highway out there and it's calling your name. 135 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,597 Larry, no! 136 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,997 Forget about it. I'm not going out there! 137 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,514 [National anthem playing on TV] 138 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,115 I refuse to pick up one more discarded Christmas tree or... 139 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,396 somebody's old burning mattress. 140 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,838 - It's hopeless. There's no point. - Hopeless? No point? 141 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,555 I can't believe what I'm hearing. 142 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,954 Are you, Riley Carlson, suggesting that our efforts... 143 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:07,432 to preserve one small corner of this planet are a waste of time? 144 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,118 Where would we be if we all took that selfish attitude... 145 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,431 towards the conservation of this planet? 146 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,753 There'd be no more whales, okay. There'd be no more trees! 147 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,637 Can you imagine this world without the endangered Tibetan Yak tick? 148 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,953 I, for one, will not stand idly by... 149 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:32,159 as we choke on the smog and we drink the polluted waters... 150 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,551 and we suffocate in our own mounds of garbage and trash. 151 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:40,277 We're going to march out there together. We will join arms and go out that door... 152 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,556 to keep the Pacific Coast Highway clean. 153 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:47,590 - Now, are you with me, Riley Carlson? - Yes, Larry, I am with you! 154 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,030 Let's do this! Hasta la vista, garbage! 155 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,754 This is all my fault. 156 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,833 I didn't have to open her e-mail. I didn't have to read it. I snooped. 157 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,435 - I'm paying the price. - A good point. 158 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,991 I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. How I'm supposed to feel. I mean... 159 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:11,596 we are separated. She wants to see someone else, it's none of my business. 160 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,080 Another good point. 161 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,677 On the other hand, we are still married. You know, she's got a lot of nerve... 162 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,832 thinking about going on a date. Seeing someone else behind my back. 163 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,559 Yet another good point. 164 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,877 I don't know whether I should confront her with this... 165 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,077 or pretend like I don't know anything about it. 166 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,836 Ed, you came here representing the Separated Guys Of Malibu... 167 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,196 to give me counsel and advice. 168 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:33,796 What should I do? 169 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,714 Jake, at moments like this, the decision has to come from within. 170 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,395 But I know, no matter what choice you make... 171 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,319 it will be the right one. 172 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,915 Okay, I'm gonna go confront Macy. 173 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,074 [Exclaiming] 174 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,476 Wow! Thanks. That was close. 175 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,158 MACY: Tedi, you've got to stop pacing. It's making me crazy. 176 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,438 I'm making you crazy? You're the one who can't even make up your mind... 177 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,034 whether or not to go out with this guy. 178 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,636 At 4:15, you decide to see Wayne. At 5:20, you're not. 179 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,872 At 6:20, it's on again. At 6:35, it's not! 180 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,749 I love you, Macy, but if I get a worry wrinkle out of this, I'm suing. 181 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,757 Look, I don't like this either, okay. This is not me. 182 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:23,353 Sitting here, being indecisive, and being advised by you. 183 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,399 I mean, I have no problem making decisions at work. 184 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,437 Okay, you know what? We got to e-mail him back. 185 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:34,070 No, hold on, Macy. Macy, sit down. 186 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,273 When I was a little girl... 187 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:41,434 I used to love spending time back in Newark with my Grandma Peggy. 188 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,515 And she used to always say how someday... 189 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,432 she was gonna treat herself... 190 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,079 to a special night... 191 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,631 at the classy Traymore Hotel on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. 192 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,360 But she'd always have some reason not to. 193 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,557 Better things to spend the money on. 194 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,917 Never the right time. Grandpa Eddy's back was out again. 195 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,919 And on a special night, you want that back to work. 196 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,277 Anyway, then one day she opened up the newspaper... 197 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:10,037 and there's this big picture of the Traymore Hotel... 198 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,514 getting torn down to make way for a casino. 199 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:19,440 Before she died, my grandma gave me that picture... 200 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,352 to always remind me... 201 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,191 sometimes in life, Macy, you don't get a second chance. 202 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,879 Gosh, you know what? I should just do it! Right? 203 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,440 Okay, I'm gonna go. 204 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,910 Now that we've settled that, what are you going to wear? 205 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,992 I don't know. Any suggestions? 206 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,390 Something hot. Something sexy. 207 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,120 But best of all, something that hasn't even been bought yet. 208 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,955 Oh, I just love spending other people's money. Come on. 209 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,434 Hey, Riley, how is the war against litter? 210 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,797 Manuelo, thanks to Larry, we are winning. 211 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,314 You should have seen him out there. 212 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:06,235 Removing graffiti, chasing motorists who throw trash out of their cars. 213 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,437 He even made a citizen's arrest. 214 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,476 My only regret is that there are only six more hours... 215 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,155 of community service left to share with Larry. 216 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,157 I will miss our time together. 217 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,478 Are we talking about Larry Slotnick Larry? 218 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,632 Manuelo, the way the sun glistened off the sweat of his brow. 219 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,952 The way his muscles bulged when he attempted to pick up that... 220 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,919 rusted old bathtub someone dumped out there. 221 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,997 He looked liked Leonardo DiCaprio in The Beach... 222 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,360 Matt Damon in All The Pretty Horses... 223 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,629 Heath Ledger in A Knight's Tale. 224 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,000 Now, once again, I must ask... 225 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,632 are we talking about Larry Slotnick Larry? 226 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,393 Manuelo, I need to call him. 227 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,040 I need to hear his voice, listen to his conviction. 228 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,158 His passion for preserving our precious planet. 229 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,111 I am so confused. 230 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,076 Uh-huh. 231 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,710 Well, couldn't you postpone your hip replacement a couple of days? 232 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:23,990 Okay. 233 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,950 Do you have any messages you'd like to give Mr. Simms on his birthday? 234 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,110 Okay. 235 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:34,274 "Tell that fool he still owes me $100." 236 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,238 Right, got it. 237 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,830 [Sighing] 238 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,718 Hi, may I speak to Mr. Earl Hollingsworth please? 239 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,480 Oh, I'm so sorry. 240 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,639 When did it happen? 241 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,914 Just now? Reaching for the phone? 242 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,957 This is not going well at all. 243 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,750 Hello? 244 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,270 Hello? 245 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,433 COMPUTER: You've got mail. 246 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,072 9:00, huh? Neptune's Net, huh? 247 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,200 So, that's where they're meeting, huh? 248 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,591 Why do I keep saying "huh"? 249 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:49,874 LARRY: Riley! 250 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,350 [Crashing] 251 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,270 - You're not gonna believe what happened! - What happened? 252 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,511 You and I were awarded a special citation... 253 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,637 from the West Malibu Chamber of Commerce. 254 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,313 We were? Really? 255 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,319 "For exemplary community service... 256 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,869 "and inspiring others to keep the community clean... 257 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,270 "we, the undersigned, officially proclaim this to be... 258 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:11,034 "Riley Carlson and Larry Slotnick Day." 259 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:15,114 Oh, my God. I can't believe it! I'm so proud! I'm so proud. 260 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,072 I didn't do that! I didn't do that! It never happened! 261 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,755 I didn't do that! I didn't do that! It never happened! 262 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,436 I didn't do that! I didn't do that! It never happened! 263 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,911 I didn't do that! I didn't do that! It never happened! 264 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,480 I can't believe it. I mean, this is a disaster. 265 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,519 Here it is Mr. Simms' birthday and I've got zip. 266 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,749 I've got to come up with something special. 267 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,150 Manuelo, if you were a 78-year-old man... 268 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,833 what would be your idea of fun? 269 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,796 A date with a 65-year-old woman. 270 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,960 I wonder if Mr. Simms would like a woman who's just a little younger? 271 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,229 I told you I hate surprises. I don't want a surprise! 272 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,676 Oh, I think you might enjoy this one. 273 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,514 Happy birthday, Mr. Simms. 274 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,636 I can walk! It's a miracle! 275 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,439 Here, knock yourself out. 276 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,876 You like chicken? Grab yourself a wing. 277 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,914 Does Chloe Carlson do birthdays, or what? 278 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,800 [Cell phone ringing] 279 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,398 Hello? Wayne, hi. Where are you? 280 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:56,876 Oh. 281 00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,914 No, no, that's okay. 282 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:04,313 Hey, if anybody understands that work comes first, it's Macy Ingledow. 283 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,952 Okay. No problem. 284 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,112 Maybe next time. Okay. 285 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,954 Well, you can come out now, Jake. He's not coming. 286 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,996 Wow, so, you knew I was here? 287 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,714 Subtlety and stealth were never your strong points. 288 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,237 Besides, you're only the man that I know who still wears Hai Karate. 289 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,880 Yeah, well, I treated myself to the gift pack. 290 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:39,671 Aftershave, cologne, soap-on-a-rope. Why am I telling you this? 291 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,275 So, some guy from high school, huh? 292 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,559 - How did you know? - I read your e-mail. 293 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,680 You read my e-mail? You snooped? 294 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,759 I'm sorry, but it's what us separated guys do best. 295 00:18:57,120 --> 00:19:00,318 All I ever wanted was for him to ask me to dance. 296 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,394 No matter how much I feathered my hair... 297 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:08,269 no matter how high my boots were or how short my skirt was... 298 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:10,716 do you know he would always walk right past me... 299 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,110 go straight to Maureen Ricupado? 300 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,510 And then there it was, senior dance, and I had my chance. 301 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,191 It was lady's choice. There he was. 302 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:25,115 All I had to do was walk over and say, "Wayne, would you like to dance?" 303 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,759 And I couldn't. 304 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,872 I guess I just thought tonight I was gonna get my chance. 305 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,112 I'm sorry. No. No, I'm not. 306 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,471 I mean, what if you asked him to dance back then? 307 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,392 Maybe we never would have met or got married... 308 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,040 or be sitting here tonight happily separated. 309 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,917 - You know what I mean? - Funny thing is, Jake, I do. 310 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,118 [Love song playing] 311 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,270 Jake, would you like to dance? 312 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,995 Macy Ingledow, I'd love to. 313 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:09,914 - Tedi? - Tedi? 314 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,673 Mrs. Simms to you. 315 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,872 - Mrs. Simms? - Hey, a man can dream, can't he? 316 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,351 PRINCIPAL: [Over PA system] This is Principal Singletary. 317 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,831 Before I begin this morning's announcements... 318 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,880 Riley Carlson has a statement of significant importance. 319 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:37,000 RILEY: I didn't do that! I didn't do that! It never happened! I didn't do that! 320 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:40,477 Yes, it did! Yes, it did! She kissed me! 321 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,235 She kissed me! I swear, she kissed me! 322 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,357 Wait! What are you doing? Wait. You.... 323 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:29,670 English - SDH 26291

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