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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,190 [Doorbell ringing] 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,559 MANNY: Riley? She's not home. I'm going to sign for this. 3 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:28,830 [From inside box] Help! 4 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,109 I hope this isn't my cousin Fausto. 5 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,673 I can't breathe. 6 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,633 I have been in that thing for four days. 7 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,952 Larry, when you mail yourself to a woman... 8 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,078 you've got to pay for same-day delivery. 9 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,994 I just thought that this would be a great way to invite Riley... 10 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,719 to the Save the Seals Benefit dance. 11 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:05,238 Larry, can I give you some advice, man to... 12 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:06,836 Larry? 13 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,434 You're doing this all wrong. 14 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:12,556 What do you mean? 15 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:17,157 You're always chasing Riley. You have to learn how to play hard to get. 16 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,395 In my vast experience, I've learned that females... 17 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,437 they want what they can't have. 18 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,875 So, what you're saying is, if I don't mail myself to her... 19 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,111 then she'll mail herself to me? 20 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,319 This is gonna take longer than I thought. 21 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,757 Hey, wow. This is a surprise. 22 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,479 What? I stop by all the time. 23 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,392 No, that you're up before noon. 24 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,791 Sleeping in is but one of the joys of being between careers. 25 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,950 Other joys include reacquainting myself with the classics... 26 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,555 finally taking the time to learn French... 27 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,758 and solving one of the great riddles of life. 28 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,079 The difference between a Ho Ho and a Yodel. 29 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,920 Jake, you think this is funny? 30 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,397 Here you are, one of the best designers in the business... 31 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,915 and you're spending your time sitting in your trailer... 32 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,435 contemplating the difference between snack cakes? 33 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,280 A Ho Ho is cream-filled. 34 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,360 No, that's the Ring Ding. 35 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,318 No, that's the Ding Dong. 36 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,591 No, I take that back. That's a Sno-Ball. 37 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,639 And, Macy, if you were between careers, you'd know that. 38 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,960 Okay. Jake, is there something you wanted? 39 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,954 Yeah. No, I'm just dropping off Chloe's math book. She left it in my trailer. 40 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,110 I grabbed your mail. 41 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,560 Did you open this one? 42 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,480 Yeah, it's addressed to both of us. 43 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,034 Oh, it's an invitation to the Save the Seals Benefit. 44 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,110 Yeah. So, are we gonna go? 45 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,478 Well, even though you open my mail and eat my food... 46 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,631 technically we are not a "we" anymore. 47 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,789 Well, just because we're technically not a "we," can't we still go together? 48 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,638 Well, I don't know. I mean, this sort of thing has never come up before. 49 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,512 If we go together... 50 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:40,073 people might assume that we are not separated and back together... 51 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:44,677 even though we are separated, and we're just going together rather than separately. 52 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,036 We need Oprah. 53 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,312 So, what do we do? Go alone? There's gonna be dancing and stuff. 54 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,791 Well, maybe we go with other people. 55 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,156 You mean, like a date? 56 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,718 I don't know if we're ready for that. 57 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,950 - Hi, Riley. - Shh! Hold that thought. 58 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,269 [Whispering] Larry. 59 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,200 That's weird. Is Larry out sick today? 60 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,753 - Hey, Chloe. - Hi, Larry. 61 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,160 Hi, Larry. 62 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,916 Was I just ignored by Larry? 63 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,994 Let's see that again. 64 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,159 - Hey, Chloe. - Hi, Larry. 65 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,594 Hi, Larry. 66 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,158 He did just ignore me. 67 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:44,320 Okay, so, guess what? 68 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,596 I'm gonna write a dating column for the school newspaper. 69 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,953 Wait a minute. You're gonna write a dating column? 70 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,872 Can you think of anyone else better suited? 71 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,952 Maybe someone who's actually been on a date. 72 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,869 You're one to talk about experience. I mean, you write a sports column. 73 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,360 Well, at least I've been to first base. 74 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,517 I mean, in Little League. 75 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,714 Well, for your information, I'm gonna have a date. 76 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:09,790 Huh? 77 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,520 Well, you know the Save The Seals dance coming up this Saturday? 78 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,512 - Mom said we can bring dates. - She did? 79 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,560 Never fails. Last born, last to know. 80 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,751 So, who do you think you're gonna bring? 81 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,911 How do I know? I just found out about it. 82 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,438 Well, if you don't have a date, you always have Larry as your fallback guy. 83 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,758 Go to the dance with Larry? Not an option. 84 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,556 I'd rather go with Damien, that goth kid. 85 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:38,751 Personally, I have a rule against dating guys who wear black lipstick. 86 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,791 If you're interested, I'm gonna go with Travis. 87 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,874 Hey, Travis. 88 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,355 Hey... 89 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,309 you. 90 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,359 Wow, what chemistry. 91 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,595 Don't worry. I'll get him to ask me to the dance. 92 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,751 Yeah, right. How? 93 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,560 Just read my column. 94 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,192 Had to happen sometime. 95 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,557 Mom and Dad were about to dive into the dating pool. 96 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,960 Did I say dive? 97 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,112 It's going to be more like two painful belly flops. 98 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,911 Okay, Manny. You gotta help me. 99 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,276 Now, you know everyone on the beach, right? 100 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,353 So you must have all the dish on the single men. 101 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,877 Okay, how about Tad Harrelson, that attorney three doors down? 102 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,030 Just married. 103 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,518 Bill Ludlow, plastic surgeon? 104 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,276 Engaged to his last tummy tuck. 105 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,556 Fred Carlisle? 106 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,590 - He's now Frieda Carlisle. - No! 107 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:50,273 And did I tell you? I got a great deal on all his old suits. 108 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,552 JAKE: Thanks for letting me buy you a drink like this. 109 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,630 Um.... 110 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,153 Are these yours? 111 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,591 So for those of you who are keeping score, let's recap. 112 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,640 Four Carlsons, zero dates. 113 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,120 Okay, so maybe we're not doing so well. 114 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,839 But it's still early in the game. 115 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:24,758 The good news is none of us ha ve embarrassed or humiliated ourselves... 116 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,269 yet. 117 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,115 I can't believe you, Riley. 118 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,557 The dance is less than three days away, and you don't have a date. 119 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,314 And you're sitting here eating a tuna salad sandwich. 120 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,720 I'm hungry. 121 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,393 Well, think about this. 122 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,040 You can't have a second date until you have a first date. 123 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,077 And according to Seventeen magazine... 124 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,550 nothing good happens till the third date. 125 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,280 You're gonna be, I mean, so behind the curve. 126 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,599 Listen, I've got better things to do than sit around... 127 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,115 and obsess about this stupid date. 128 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,953 So if you'll excuse me... 129 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,600 I have a very important interview with the new football coach. 130 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,515 Okay, Coach, let me see if I've got this straight. 131 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,960 Everybody on the offensive and defensive squad has a date for the dance? 132 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,994 What about the team mascot? 133 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,594 You mean the kid in the dolphin suit? 134 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,720 He's still in the hospital. 135 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,473 Last week when we played Santa Monica... 136 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,074 their shark kicked him right in the blowhole. 137 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,397 Riley, are you almost finished? I'm double-parked. 138 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,593 I don't believe we've met. 139 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,070 John Lee. New football coach. 140 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,989 Macy Carlson, new football fan. 141 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,960 CHLOE: Mom didn't waste any time. 142 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,874 The next day she was putting on her game face for her tennis date... 143 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,030 with Coach Lee. 144 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:57,034 For the record, the only thing Mom has ever done in tennis shoes is shop. 145 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,430 Not bad. 146 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,398 Manuelo, that's cold cream. 147 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,920 You know what? 148 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,560 I don't hate it. 149 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,360 Meanwhile, I was about to put my moves on Tra vis. 150 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,512 It's times like this, I need to remember the three S's... 151 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,718 sweet, subtle, and so cute. 152 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,196 - Hi, Travis. - Hi. 153 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,509 What you doing? 154 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,793 Taking a book out of my locker. 155 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,557 Wasn't life science interesting today? How'd you like the filmstrip? 156 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,711 The Armadillo: Nature's Little Tank. 157 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,872 Speaking of endangered species... 158 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,350 have you heard about the Save The Seals Benefit coming up? 159 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,476 Yeah. 160 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:46,280 Well, actually it's called the Save the Malibu Seals Benefit. 161 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,353 The funny thing about Malibu seals is that the only fish they eat is sushi. 162 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,639 Seals eat fish. 163 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,678 Rich seals eat sushi. 164 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,674 Am I crashing and burning here or what? 165 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:06,274 So, normally, I go with my parents, but this year we're allowed to bring dates. 166 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,677 So, I'll probably go with a date. I mean, if someone asks me. 167 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,595 Well, not that they wouldn't ask me. Just they have to know that I'm available. 168 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,673 And how about that? FYI, I am. 169 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,194 No kidding. 170 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,511 He's hooked. Now all I gotta do is reel him in. 171 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,517 CHLOE: Meanwhile, over at the trailer park... 172 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:37,197 Dad had a plan to get his perfect date. But he needed a little help. 173 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,120 Okay, I've been working on my on-line dating profile. 174 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,431 - You wanna hear? - Begin. Go slow. 175 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:47,472 "Job, none. Home, trailer. Hobbies, reading... 176 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:51,349 "taking long walks on the beach, and getting to know myself." 177 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,191 That's good. But pathetic. 178 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,591 - But that's who I am. - But that's pathetic. 179 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,240 Well, yeah. I can't just lie. 180 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:05,473 Okay, step back from the laptop... 181 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,597 and let the master work. 182 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:12,357 Because when I'm done composing your on-line profile... 183 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,672 you're gonna find that you've got mail. 184 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,117 All right, dating class is in session. 185 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,955 As you all probably know, there are four basic groups on the dating food chain. 186 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,032 First, you've got the cool kids. 187 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,033 That includes Randy, Biff, Lance and Justin. 188 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,638 They all have dates. 189 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,757 Then you've got the jocks. 190 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,073 That includes the football team, the baseball team, the soccer team... 191 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,150 and the lacrosse team. 192 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,035 They all have dates. 193 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,158 Then there are the brains. 194 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,596 That includes the chess club, the computer club... 195 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,149 and the future dot com billionaires of America. 196 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,837 Even they all have dates. 197 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,634 Then that leaves the last group. 198 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,630 Larry. 199 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:00,749 Class dismissed. 200 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,671 Oh, no! It's Riley. 201 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,231 I've been a voiding her for days, and there she is, standing right in front of me. 202 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,919 I can't hold out any longer. I gotta ask her to the dance. 203 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,916 Larry, are you forgetting what I told you? 204 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,198 - What? What? - Be strong. 205 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,035 You must play hard to get. 206 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,435 Okay. All right. I will. 207 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,751 And zip up your fly. 208 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:31,956 I got you. 209 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,880 Hi, Larry. 210 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,356 Yeah, hi. Listen. 211 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,672 I read your column, and it was good. 212 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,639 All right, Larry. Go ahead. 213 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,077 If you want to ask me to the Save the Seals Benefit, now's the time. 214 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,200 Actually, I just wanted to compliment you on your column... 215 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,634 which was good. 216 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,509 And as for the dance, I already have a date. 217 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:04,840 Excuse me. 218 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,470 You have a date? 219 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,796 Yeah. I have a date. I'll see you around. 220 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,918 Larry has a date? 221 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,918 The Sa ve the Seals Benefit is less than 24 hours away... 222 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,595 and my family has totally lost it. 223 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,959 I'm going crazy because Tra vis hasn't called me. 224 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,353 My father's going crazy on the Internet with his new screen name, Hotbod. 225 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,070 Riley's going crazy because she's been shot down by Larry. 226 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:45,518 And Mom's on the tennis court trying to be one of the Williams sisters. 227 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,038 I think I finally ha ve the topic for my column. 228 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,200 Why do people act crazy when they're dating? 229 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,040 Bye! I had a great time. 230 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,716 Rock climbing? Tomorrow? 231 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,915 Great. 232 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:10,960 [Sighing] 233 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,591 Manny, we played six sets of tennis... 234 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,954 and then we rented bikes... 235 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:23,159 because he thought it would be a fun way to get to the softball game. 236 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,516 Are you okay? 237 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,590 [Groaning] 238 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,233 Why are you doing this? 239 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,630 Because I'm dating a jock. 240 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,315 And 'cause if Jake has a date to the dance... 241 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,471 then I have to have a date for the dance. 242 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,396 Even if my date has to carry my ashes there in a gym bag. 243 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,000 - Hey, Manuel. Anything going on? - Not much. 244 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:48,597 You got a letter there about a renewal to your subscription to Teen People... 245 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,070 and somebody called. 246 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,517 What was his name? I think he was Travis. 247 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,435 - What? Why didn't you tell me? - You have two weeks to renew it. 248 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,240 It would be so uncool to call Travis right back. 249 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,597 You got to make him sweat. You know, keep him hanging for a while. 250 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,832 The last thing you want to do is seem desperate. 251 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,510 Okay, that's long enough. 252 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,915 Hey, this is Tra vis. Lea ve a message. 253 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,392 Hi, Travis, it's me. Call me back. 254 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,875 That was so cool. Casual with just an air of mystery. 255 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,391 Mystery. Oh, no. 256 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,076 I said "me." 257 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,039 How's he gonna know who "me" is? I'll call him back. 258 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,235 Hey, this is Tra vis. Lea ve a message. 259 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:50,116 Hi, Travis, it's Chloe Carlson. I just called and said it was me. 260 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,558 And I just wanna tell you who the "me" was, and it's me, Chloe. Chloe Carlson. 261 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,599 Anyways, the answer is yes. 262 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,952 I'd love to go to the dance with you on Saturday. 263 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,839 I've gotta go figure out what I'm gonna wear. 264 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,076 He didn't even ask me. 265 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,080 Oh, my God! I gotta call him back. 266 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,115 Hey, this is Tra vis. Lea ve a message. 267 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,760 Hi, Travis, it's me again, Chloe Carlson. 268 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,832 I just called, like, a second ago... 269 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,151 and I said yes, that I'd love to go to the dance with you... 270 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,960 but I realized that you never asked me to the dance. 271 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,078 So, if you were calling to ask me, then the answer.... 272 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,480 [Answering machine beeping] 273 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,755 Oh, no. 274 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,191 Hey, this is Tra vis. Lea ve a message. 275 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,035 Hi, it's me again. I just wanted to say that-- 276 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,270 TRAVIS: Chloe? 277 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,957 Travis. You're home. 278 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,471 Chloe, please don't call me anymore. 279 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,438 After I struck out with Tra vis... 280 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,955 Dad was getting ready to meet his first Internet date. 281 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,713 [Doorbell ringing] 282 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,030 [You Make Me Love You More by Don Phillips playing on stereo] 283 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,836 Hi, Jake Carlson? 284 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,640 Whoa. 285 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,756 I'm Cheryl. 286 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,550 I'm delighted to meet you. 287 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,199 We came all this way for some loser in a trailer? 288 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:46,838 Stop it. Very rude. Every time I go out on a date, you do this. 289 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:47,956 No, I don't. 290 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:56,669 Hi, Larry. 291 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,400 I'm surprised you're not out renting your tuxedo for the dance. 292 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,791 Look, about that. I have been living a lie. 293 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:07,509 I don't have a date, okay? I just wanted to play hard to get. 294 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,753 Can you ever forgive me? Because all I ever wanted to do was go with you. 295 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,399 Will you go to the dance with me? 296 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,918 CHLOE: History was about to be made. 297 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,957 Riley was gonna say yes to Larry. 298 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,715 There would ha ve been at least one happy ending... 299 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,110 if only Larry had stopped there. 300 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,039 I've already got my tuxedo rented. 301 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,672 Wait till you see the cummerbund. It's glow-in-the-dark. 302 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,993 And my uncle, he's gonna be taking us to the dance in his cesspool-pump truck. 303 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,594 But you know, don't worry about the smell... 304 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,114 because after a while, you're gonna get used to it. 305 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,152 And here's the really good news. I've been taking some dance lessons. 306 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,560 See? Look. 307 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,032 So, what Riley realized was that ha ving no date at all... 308 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,840 was far better than ha ving any date with Larry. 309 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,950 So, the night of the big dance finally arrived. 310 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,075 And where could you find us Carlsons? 311 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:03,840 Hit me again, Joe. 312 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,991 That's your eighth oyster shooter, Mr. Carlson. 313 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,720 You know, they're not in season. You sure you know what you're doing? 314 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,598 That's all right. I've got a designated doctor. 315 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,592 Dad, what are you doing here? 316 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,592 I thought you were going to the dance. 317 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,718 I figured I'd just rather spend the night playing oyster roulette. 318 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,355 Yeah, it's not like we couldn't find dates. We had guys lined up for days. 319 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,160 Yeah, that's our story and we're sticking to it. 320 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,800 [Sighing painfully] 321 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,711 Jake. Hey, I didn't expect to see you here. 322 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,395 To be honest with you, I'm kind of surprised to see you. 323 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:46,554 Well, I had a date, I just.... You know, something came up at the last minute. 324 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,676 That's too bad. 325 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:48,750 [Exclaiming in pain] 326 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:53,073 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. 327 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:58,474 Oh, God. Who am I trying to kid? 328 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,400 I'm lucky I can walk. I was dating a jock. 329 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,837 Don't feel bad. Come here. I almost dated a sock. 330 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:07,990 Thank you. 331 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,480 - Okay? - Okay. 332 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,991 So, you come here often? 333 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,319 I hope you didn't use that line to try to get a date. 334 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,871 - No, I didn't get that far. - Yeah, me, neither. 335 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,878 You know what? 336 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,991 I guess I didn't want to. 337 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,480 Yeah, I guess I didn't, either. 338 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,676 Hey, you know, if we're gonna be alone tonight... 339 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,194 we might as well be alone together. 340 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,200 Well, you know that invitation was addressed to both of us. 341 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,992 Yeah, but what are we gonna do for dates? 342 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,994 Well, I think I know where you can find yourself a couple of hot babes. 343 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,870 English - SDH 27418

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