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1
00:00:00,183 --> 00:00:05,242
So you're her, are you?
You're the whore.
"Emily Jane Greenwood-Wallace".
2
00:00:05,308 --> 00:00:09,387
Well that's a gob-full, for someone
who only weighs 6lbs 3oz.
3
00:00:09,388 --> 00:00:11,787
You can't call a baby that!
4
00:00:11,788 --> 00:00:12,947
What've they called it?
5
00:00:12,948 --> 00:00:14,627
Calamity Jane.
6
00:00:14,628 --> 00:00:17,427
I was so delighted when you told me
you'd booked this place.
7
00:00:17,428 --> 00:00:19,707
And then you go and book
two separate rooms.
8
00:00:19,708 --> 00:00:22,867
That bungalow we went to see
when I said we were just looking...
9
00:00:22,868 --> 00:00:24,787
We've put in an offer.
10
00:00:24,788 --> 00:00:25,988
Maurice is dead.
11
00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:31,747
Greg!
Kate!
12
00:00:31,748 --> 00:00:33,547
- Have you slept together?
- No!
13
00:00:33,548 --> 00:00:34,707
Are you dumping me?
14
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:37,388
I don't think anything ever
really started, did it?
15
00:00:40,988 --> 00:00:42,747
Will you marry me? Again?
16
00:00:42,748 --> 00:00:43,788
Go on, then.
17
00:00:44,788 --> 00:00:46,708
Yeah! Yes!
18
00:00:46,733 --> 00:01:33,007
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
19
00:01:57,148 --> 00:02:00,587
Are you absolutely sure you need
all this stuff? Yes.
20
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:05,267
You'll only have it all to cart back
again at the end of term. And?
21
00:02:05,268 --> 00:02:06,347
Are you nearly ready?
22
00:02:06,348 --> 00:02:08,907
Yeah!
I've just got one more bag upstairs.
23
00:02:08,908 --> 00:02:11,828
Nip round
and tell Granny William's going.
24
00:02:12,908 --> 00:02:14,667
Have you had the divorce
papers in the post?
25
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:15,907
Yes. Have you signed them?
26
00:02:15,908 --> 00:02:17,467
Yes.
27
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:19,587
Did you send them back
by registered post?
28
00:02:19,588 --> 00:02:20,987
I sent them back.
29
00:02:20,988 --> 00:02:22,147
By registered post?
30
00:02:22,148 --> 00:02:24,867
It said specifically to return them
by registered post.
31
00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:28,387
Oh for f...! I have saved you
thousands of pounds in lawyers' fees
32
00:02:28,388 --> 00:02:30,107
by organising this online.
33
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,547
The very least you could do is...
34
00:02:31,548 --> 00:02:32,668
Got it!
35
00:02:37,228 --> 00:02:40,468
They're going!
Ey up, Alan! They're going!
36
00:02:55,388 --> 00:02:56,827
Ring me when you get there.
37
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,387
Only if you want to, only if
you're not busy. Or drop me a text.
38
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,547
I'll ring you.
I wish I could come with you.
39
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,508
You've got a school to run!
40
00:03:04,748 --> 00:03:05,908
I am proud of you.
41
00:03:06,908 --> 00:03:08,187
I'm proud of you.
42
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,707
WAY-HEY!
Finally, we get rid of him!
43
00:03:10,708 --> 00:03:13,547
Why does he exist? Beano boy.
Yeah, special needs.
44
00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:14,787
Stop it.
45
00:03:14,788 --> 00:03:17,387
The concert party's arrived!
Just in time!
46
00:03:17,388 --> 00:03:19,827
How long does it take
to drive to Oxford?
47
00:03:19,828 --> 00:03:21,507
Three or four hours, I would think.
48
00:03:21,508 --> 00:03:23,427
Nah! Foot down, two-and-a-half.
49
00:03:23,428 --> 00:03:24,507
Please drive properly.
50
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:27,907
Good luck, lad! Work hard.
Enjoy yourself.
51
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,148
Thanks, Grandad.
52
00:03:30,468 --> 00:03:31,787
See ya, Gran.
53
00:03:31,788 --> 00:03:34,187
Aww! Here, get your washing done
regularly.
54
00:03:34,188 --> 00:03:35,947
Girls like boys with clean
underwear,
55
00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:38,027
don't let anyone tell you different.
56
00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:39,907
Do I get a twencer, Gran?
57
00:03:39,908 --> 00:03:42,028
Yeah! When you get in at Oxford.
58
00:03:45,028 --> 00:03:46,548
Bye! Bye!
59
00:03:53,468 --> 00:03:54,747
I need a poo.
60
00:03:54,748 --> 00:03:56,708
Ooh! That egg'll be boiling.
61
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,348
You all right, love?
62
00:04:12,548 --> 00:04:15,307
Yeah.
63
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:17,107
I was, um...
64
00:04:17,108 --> 00:04:18,348
Big day.
65
00:04:28,028 --> 00:04:30,347
Me and Alan are off over
to Ripponden today.
66
00:04:30,348 --> 00:04:33,467
We said we'd help out with the baby.
67
00:04:33,468 --> 00:04:35,427
Still back and forth.
68
00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:37,907
It's a shame that bungalow
fell through.
69
00:04:37,908 --> 00:04:40,187
How're the wedding plans going?
70
00:04:40,188 --> 00:04:42,707
Oh, we never seem to get any closer.
71
00:04:42,708 --> 00:04:44,307
Why?
72
00:04:44,308 --> 00:04:49,347
Well, for one reason, he's gone
and invited Ted. His brother.
73
00:04:49,348 --> 00:04:50,827
I didn't know Alan had a brother.
74
00:04:50,828 --> 00:04:53,387
Yeah. Ted.
He was two years above us.
75
00:04:53,388 --> 00:04:55,147
Right.
76
00:04:55,148 --> 00:04:57,107
So, what's wrong with Ted coming?
77
00:04:57,108 --> 00:04:58,467
He's in New Zealand.
78
00:04:58,468 --> 00:05:01,587
He's got five kids and they're all
married
79
00:05:01,588 --> 00:05:04,907
and they've got 13 grandchildren
between them,
80
00:05:04,908 --> 00:05:06,827
and, God knows why, but,
81
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:11,787
because they've never met Alan,
they all want to come over.
82
00:05:11,788 --> 00:05:13,068
Oh, gosh. So...?
83
00:05:14,068 --> 00:05:17,227
Well, we weren't planning on having
that big a venue, really.
84
00:05:17,228 --> 00:05:19,907
But now it's all become
a logistical nightmare.
85
00:05:19,908 --> 00:05:21,507
How?
86
00:05:21,508 --> 00:05:23,787
Oh, well, it has.
87
00:05:23,788 --> 00:05:25,907
How?
88
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,828
One of them's a vegetarian.
89
00:05:29,068 --> 00:05:33,027
Well, that's not insurmountable,
is it, as problems go?
90
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:35,667
Oh, it's all...
"where are they staying?"
91
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,867
and God knows what, and "will they
all get a flight at the same time?"
92
00:05:38,868 --> 00:05:40,347
Right.
93
00:05:40,348 --> 00:05:44,147
You see, this is why we just wanted
to do it all on the quiet.
94
00:05:44,148 --> 00:05:47,628
Well, you did.
And then you decided to do this.
95
00:05:51,828 --> 00:05:53,948
Have y'had any more inquiries?
96
00:05:56,468 --> 00:05:58,228
No, not this week.
97
00:06:22,308 --> 00:06:25,387
She's done, can you take her?
I've not brushed my teeth.
98
00:06:25,388 --> 00:06:26,907
I'm making you a sandwich.
99
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,228
Yeah, but she needs
to get her wind up.
100
00:06:32,188 --> 00:06:34,067
Ugh! Have you not done her nappy?
101
00:06:34,068 --> 00:06:35,187
Yeah. She hasn't...?
102
00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:36,227
I think she has.
103
00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:38,067
Is there any tea left in that pot?
104
00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:40,827
Yeah, probably, if you squeeze it!
105
00:06:40,828 --> 00:06:43,947
Mum, can you take Calamity?
She needs burping.
106
00:06:43,948 --> 00:06:45,307
You're going to be late.
107
00:06:45,308 --> 00:06:46,388
Yeah, I do know!
108
00:06:48,588 --> 00:06:51,387
You don't want to be missing
the bus, not this morning.
109
00:06:51,388 --> 00:06:55,347
I can't drive you, I'm taking hogs
to t'livestock mar...
110
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,107
Has she...?
111
00:06:57,108 --> 00:06:58,428
Yeah, sorry.
112
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:03,668
Calamity, is there no end
to your shining wealth of talents?
113
00:07:06,988 --> 00:07:08,107
Ey, Mum. What?
114
00:07:08,108 --> 00:07:11,747
It's been a month. It's a month
today since Ellie moved in.
115
00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:14,227
You said you'd make a decision.
116
00:07:14,228 --> 00:07:16,107
Yeah.
117
00:07:16,108 --> 00:07:17,468
So?
118
00:07:18,948 --> 00:07:20,348
Yeah.
119
00:07:21,468 --> 00:07:24,307
Yeah. As long Yvonne doesn't stop
slinging me the cash every week
120
00:07:24,308 --> 00:07:26,387
for her housekeeping.
121
00:07:26,388 --> 00:07:28,307
So you're happy.
122
00:07:28,308 --> 00:07:30,067
Well, happy's pushing it, but, yeah.
123
00:07:30,068 --> 00:07:33,147
As long as she keeps pulling
her weight. She will.
124
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,708
Is she happy? With everything?
125
00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:40,508
She'd rather be here than
with her mother.
126
00:07:43,908 --> 00:07:46,627
Oh, and we won't be in for us
teas tonight,
127
00:07:46,628 --> 00:07:49,027
me, Ellie and Calamity.
128
00:07:49,028 --> 00:07:51,468
Robbie's invited us down to his.
129
00:07:52,508 --> 00:07:55,107
Cheryl's cooking.
130
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:56,428
Right. Is she?
131
00:07:58,268 --> 00:08:00,868
She's moving in with him,
apparently.
132
00:08:02,108 --> 00:08:03,148
Right.
133
00:08:29,588 --> 00:08:31,148
Sorry. Hello.
134
00:08:32,348 --> 00:08:35,387
Beverley said
you might have a few minutes.
135
00:08:35,388 --> 00:08:38,868
I can come back later.
No. No. Come in.
136
00:08:44,748 --> 00:08:46,468
Sure.
137
00:08:48,788 --> 00:08:49,828
OK. Well...
138
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,028
Amazingly, I'm pregnant.
139
00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:58,308
It was 12 weeks on Saturday.
140
00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:03,348
So... I'm cautiously starting to
think about the future.
141
00:09:05,508 --> 00:09:08,108
And, what I'd like to do,
if nothing...
142
00:09:11,748 --> 00:09:14,027
is work up until next Easter.
143
00:09:14,028 --> 00:09:16,387
Then, ideally, if it's possible,
144
00:09:16,388 --> 00:09:18,227
if it's something you can
accommodate,
145
00:09:18,228 --> 00:09:20,587
I'd like to come back part-time.
146
00:09:20,588 --> 00:09:22,947
This time next year.
147
00:09:22,948 --> 00:09:23,987
Autumn term.
148
00:09:23,988 --> 00:09:25,987
Right.
149
00:09:25,988 --> 00:09:27,747
How possible is that?
150
00:09:27,748 --> 00:09:30,427
I know you've always been very good
in the past
151
00:09:30,428 --> 00:09:32,267
with women who've left to
start families
152
00:09:32,268 --> 00:09:34,468
and then wanted to go part-time.
153
00:09:36,068 --> 00:09:37,547
You'll have to leave it with me.
154
00:09:37,548 --> 00:09:40,907
If what you're really thinking is, "You'll
be lucky", I'd rather you just said.
155
00:09:40,908 --> 00:09:43,268
I hope you know me better than that.
156
00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:48,388
I just need time to work out
the logistics, that's all.
157
00:09:49,508 --> 00:09:50,548
Sorry.
158
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:53,948
OK.
159
00:09:56,908 --> 00:09:57,948
Thank you.
160
00:10:02,988 --> 00:10:04,987
Congratulations.
161
00:10:04,988 --> 00:10:07,108
Thank you. Thanks.
162
00:10:49,068 --> 00:10:51,627
You're too late, you've missed her!
Who?
163
00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:55,667
Calamity! Harry's been
and fetched her. You all right?
164
00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:57,427
Yeah! Very fair.
165
00:10:57,428 --> 00:10:59,427
Hi, Celia.
Are you all right, love?
166
00:10:59,428 --> 00:11:00,468
Not so bad.
167
00:11:01,468 --> 00:11:02,547
Where is she?
168
00:11:02,548 --> 00:11:04,467
With Harry.
He wants you to text him.
169
00:11:04,468 --> 00:11:06,467
He's got summat
he wants to show you, he said,
170
00:11:06,468 --> 00:11:08,867
down by t'wharf in Sowerby Bridge.
171
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:11,587
Is that where he's taken the baby?
Well, I'm assuming.
172
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,907
What's he wanting to show us?
173
00:11:12,908 --> 00:11:16,347
I have no idea,
but he seemed very excited.
174
00:11:16,348 --> 00:11:17,947
That's sounds ominous.
175
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,147
Down by t'wharf?
Yup.
176
00:11:19,148 --> 00:11:21,307
What is there down at t'wharf?
177
00:11:21,308 --> 00:11:25,747
Water? Ducks? Geese?
Industrial waste?
178
00:11:25,748 --> 00:11:27,347
Are we setting straight off, then?
179
00:11:27,348 --> 00:11:30,027
Make yourself a cup o' tea if you
want to. I've got to get to Otley.
180
00:11:30,028 --> 00:11:31,907
I'll just use the bathroom,
if that's...
181
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:32,948
Right. OK.
182
00:11:41,428 --> 00:11:43,107
Are you...? Keeping fit?
183
00:11:43,108 --> 00:11:45,827
Yeah! Yeah, I think so.
184
00:11:45,828 --> 00:11:48,067
Have you not got a date sorted yet?
185
00:11:48,068 --> 00:11:49,347
Oh, have we buggery.
186
00:11:49,348 --> 00:11:52,747
Only Ted Skyped again last night.
They're all itching to book flights.
187
00:11:52,748 --> 00:11:53,908
It's her sister.
188
00:11:55,068 --> 00:11:56,547
Has Celia got a sister?
189
00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:59,867
Muriel. She were in t'year below us
at grammar school.
190
00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:01,027
She lives in Sheffield.
191
00:12:01,028 --> 00:12:03,867
So, what's up wi' Muriel?
192
00:12:03,868 --> 00:12:07,307
Celia seems to have a very...
What?
193
00:12:07,308 --> 00:12:09,507
Ambivalent relationship
with her.
194
00:12:09,508 --> 00:12:11,187
Right. How come?
195
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,507
I've no idea. We don't go there.
196
00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:16,667
Upshot is, she can't decide whether
she wants her at t'wedding or not.
197
00:12:16,668 --> 00:12:18,107
Right.
198
00:12:18,108 --> 00:12:20,547
Whereas I can't wait to
get on with it.
199
00:12:20,548 --> 00:12:22,507
I know! I know.
200
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,947
Celia does seem to have quite...
201
00:12:24,948 --> 00:12:29,387
complex relationships with people,
I've noticed.
202
00:12:29,388 --> 00:12:32,828
I'll get to t'bottom of it.
Right. Good luck.
203
00:12:35,628 --> 00:12:36,787
Oh, text Harry.
204
00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:37,828
Oh, aye.
205
00:12:40,188 --> 00:12:41,588
It's nice to see you.
206
00:12:42,308 --> 00:12:44,188
Eh! Are you all right, love?
207
00:12:44,628 --> 00:12:47,628
Me? Yeah! God, yeah!
208
00:12:49,108 --> 00:12:51,748
Ta'ra! Ta'ra!
209
00:13:00,428 --> 00:13:03,307
Be honest. Well, it's, eh...
210
00:13:03,308 --> 00:13:07,107
I think you're crackers.
You haven't actually sold your house?
211
00:13:07,108 --> 00:13:09,147
No, but that's plan.
It's up for sale.
212
00:13:09,148 --> 00:13:12,627
What, and you're going to live on
it, permanently? Through the winter?
213
00:13:12,628 --> 00:13:16,947
It's grand and warm. There's
going to be a wood-burning stove,
214
00:13:16,948 --> 00:13:22,947
telly, DVD, drinks cabinet.
satellite dish.
215
00:13:22,948 --> 00:13:25,628
Come and have a look. No!
216
00:13:26,988 --> 00:13:31,868
Gordon said we can take it for a spin
down Cut. Yeah, come on. Ooh, don't!
217
00:13:37,148 --> 00:13:41,227
It were after Maurice died.
You have to seize the day.
218
00:13:41,228 --> 00:13:44,467
It's something I've always fancied,
as far back as ever I can remember.
219
00:13:44,468 --> 00:13:46,867
How do you go on opening locks
on your own?
220
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:50,627
Piece of piss, what you on about?
Hey, ladies present.
221
00:13:50,628 --> 00:13:53,347
Oh, I've heard worse.
I meant baby.
222
00:13:53,348 --> 00:13:56,627
He means when you get
even older, you dozy old sod.
223
00:13:56,628 --> 00:14:00,427
How're you going to open locks when
you're juggling with a Zimmer frame?
224
00:14:00,428 --> 00:14:03,588
Nay, I'll shoot me sen
before I get to that stage!
225
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:09,347
He'll sell his house, live on it for two
or three weeks and then he'll get fed up.
226
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:12,027
He misses Maurice. Aw.
227
00:14:12,028 --> 00:14:15,627
Is it just three of us for supper?
Yeah.
228
00:14:15,628 --> 00:14:19,027
Where have Raff and Ellie taken
Calamity, then? Oh, just...
229
00:14:19,028 --> 00:14:24,507
Robbie - Robbie's... He's got
this new girlfriend. Cheryl.
230
00:14:24,508 --> 00:14:27,667
So - he works with her.
She's a copper.
231
00:14:27,668 --> 00:14:30,547
She's blonde, gorgeous,
232
00:14:30,548 --> 00:14:33,267
15 years younger than him, divorced.
233
00:14:33,268 --> 00:14:36,228
Is he making a point? Yeah.
234
00:14:37,508 --> 00:14:40,547
Of course he is.
He's always hated her up to now.
235
00:14:40,548 --> 00:14:44,027
Gone on about how annoying
and dippy she is. So, yeah.
236
00:14:44,028 --> 00:14:50,427
Men, transparent. What can you do?
Present company excepted, obviously.
237
00:14:50,428 --> 00:14:56,627
Except Raff says she's
moving in with him. Apparently.
238
00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:59,148
John's back with Judith.
239
00:15:00,228 --> 00:15:02,587
I'm really not interested
in John, Celia.
240
00:15:02,588 --> 00:15:05,307
Thanks. Really, really not.
241
00:15:05,308 --> 00:15:06,548
Oh, no, I was just saying.
242
00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:10,268
I mean, God knows why.
243
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:13,507
I honestly don't think
they can stand each other.
244
00:15:13,508 --> 00:15:15,867
It's just a habit. A bad habit.
245
00:15:15,868 --> 00:15:17,787
How's Caroline?
246
00:15:17,788 --> 00:15:19,427
She's all right.
247
00:15:19,428 --> 00:15:21,067
Oh, yeah!
248
00:15:21,068 --> 00:15:24,707
Celia... tell me about your sister!
249
00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:26,747
I didn't know you had a sister.
250
00:15:26,748 --> 00:15:27,988
Oh...
251
00:15:29,908 --> 00:15:32,747
Shame the wedding plans
have got bogged down cos of her.
252
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:36,987
Oh, it's not cos of our Muriel,
it's cos of Ted, isn't it?
253
00:15:36,988 --> 00:15:39,067
About them not being able
to make their minds up
254
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:40,507
when they're coming over
255
00:15:40,508 --> 00:15:42,467
and where they're all going to stay,
and...
256
00:15:42,468 --> 00:15:43,987
No. No, I don't think so.
257
00:15:43,988 --> 00:15:47,668
Ted's waiting for you to fix a date
so they can all book their flights.
258
00:15:48,788 --> 00:15:50,227
Oh.
259
00:15:50,228 --> 00:15:51,747
Well, I got the impression...
260
00:15:51,748 --> 00:15:54,507
No, no, there's no problem there.
Is there? Dad?
261
00:15:54,508 --> 00:15:58,907
Er... well, it'll be tricky for 'em
co-ordinating everything,
262
00:15:58,908 --> 00:16:00,307
but, erm... no.
263
00:16:00,308 --> 00:16:04,387
No, I don't think the problem
is wi' our Ted, really.
264
00:16:04,388 --> 00:16:06,027
Anyway, that's their problem.
265
00:16:06,028 --> 00:16:08,587
You set a date, they turn up,
if they can.
266
00:16:08,588 --> 00:16:11,867
I don't think they expect you
to organise it around them.
267
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:13,507
They don't. They absolutely don't.
268
00:16:13,508 --> 00:16:14,868
They're not like that.
269
00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:30,587
Have you heard from Will?
270
00:16:30,588 --> 00:16:32,428
Yeah, he's fine. I got a text.
271
00:16:42,308 --> 00:16:43,748
Can I go and live with my dad?
272
00:16:54,788 --> 00:16:56,228
Why do you want to do that?
273
00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:01,988
He's not... boring.
274
00:17:04,308 --> 00:17:05,347
Sorry.
275
00:17:05,348 --> 00:17:07,428
I really don't think
that's a good idea.
276
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,588
I'm sorry if you think I'm...
277
00:17:14,748 --> 00:17:16,907
not very exciting,
but I've seen Judith's flat.
278
00:17:16,908 --> 00:17:18,307
You wouldn't want to live there,
279
00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:20,708
you wouldn't want to spend
more than five minutes there.
280
00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:35,427
Hello? Caroline? It's Gillian.
281
00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:37,347
'Oh, hello.'
282
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,587
How are you?
283
00:17:38,588 --> 00:17:40,427
Fine! Fine.
284
00:17:40,428 --> 00:17:42,027
Good.
285
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,427
'Are you?' Yeah! Yeah.
286
00:17:44,428 --> 00:17:47,107
I was ringing you... about
the wedding.
287
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,747
I'm just concerned.
288
00:17:48,748 --> 00:17:52,507
I thought you might be able to throw
a bit of light on something. OK.
289
00:17:52,508 --> 00:17:55,227
It all seems to have got
bogged down, somehow.
290
00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:57,907
And... I think it's making me dad
a bit miserable.
291
00:17:57,908 --> 00:18:03,507
Oh! I know. is it not to do
with... um... uh, Ted, his brother?
292
00:18:03,508 --> 00:18:05,707
No. No, it isn't.
293
00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:07,028
'That's what my mum said.'
294
00:18:08,628 --> 00:18:10,547
She's using that as an excuse.
295
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,067
I did wonder.
296
00:18:12,068 --> 00:18:15,267
I think it's to do with her sister.
Muriel?
297
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:18,387
Right. Right.
298
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,947
Ted's fine, honestly.
299
00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:22,147
He's really easygoing,
he just wants to fit in.
300
00:18:22,148 --> 00:18:23,747
Yeah - it's...
301
00:18:23,748 --> 00:18:26,107
That wouldn't surprise me, Muriel.
302
00:18:26,108 --> 00:18:27,867
Is she... difficult?
303
00:18:27,868 --> 00:18:30,547
Auntie Muriel? No! God, no.
She's...
304
00:18:30,548 --> 00:18:34,667
They're just chalk and cheese,
that's all. 'OK.'
305
00:18:34,668 --> 00:18:37,547
Only if we could get to t'bottom
of whether she's coming or not,
306
00:18:37,548 --> 00:18:40,387
they could move forward
with things, that's all.
307
00:18:40,388 --> 00:18:42,707
Oh, she'll be coming.
I don't think she wouldn't come.
308
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:46,267
Well, pinning it down, then,
so they can set a date.
309
00:18:46,268 --> 00:18:50,587
Could you ring her? Muriel?
Yeah, sure.
310
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,907
Find out what stage they're at
in their delicate negotiations,
311
00:18:53,908 --> 00:18:56,467
cos I've got Ted and his lot
Skyping every five minutes
312
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,627
'wanting to know when they can book
their flights.
313
00:18:58,628 --> 00:19:00,987
'Sooner they can book,
cheaper it'll be.'
314
00:19:00,988 --> 00:19:03,107
Course. Of course. OK.
Leave it with me.
315
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:05,547
It's just... they're just... it's...
316
00:19:05,548 --> 00:19:07,547
Complicated.
317
00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:10,668
Yeah. Yeah.
318
00:19:13,508 --> 00:19:15,627
Oh, hell! Orange again.
319
00:19:15,628 --> 00:19:17,667
I hate sport and nature.
320
00:19:17,668 --> 00:19:19,307
No, it's sport and leisure.
321
00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:20,667
No, that's green.
322
00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:22,787
No, that's science and nature.
323
00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:25,788
Is it? Yeah. Oh, OK.
324
00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:29,667
Sherlock Holmes.
The Beatles. Shakespeare.
325
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,747
Sorry? The answer.
326
00:19:31,748 --> 00:19:33,747
But I haven't asked t'question yet.
327
00:19:33,748 --> 00:19:35,667
No, I know,
but it will be one of them.
328
00:19:35,668 --> 00:19:37,107
It always is, the answer.
329
00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:39,388
Or Manchester United.
330
00:19:41,868 --> 00:19:44,387
I've been thinking.
Oh, aye? What with?
331
00:19:44,388 --> 00:19:45,987
Oh, you're so funny!
332
00:19:45,988 --> 00:19:50,628
Why don't I... Why don't me and
Caroline organise the wedding?
333
00:19:51,908 --> 00:19:53,747
Really? Yeah.
334
00:19:53,748 --> 00:19:55,507
Only you seem to have got stuck
335
00:19:55,508 --> 00:19:57,987
and I can't believe
you WANT to be stuck. So...
336
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,427
Well, I...
337
00:19:59,428 --> 00:20:02,307
We'd run everything past you.
We wouldn't do anything you'd hate.
338
00:20:02,308 --> 00:20:05,427
Have you spoken to her?
Just now, just this second.
339
00:20:05,428 --> 00:20:06,747
Oh. Well...
340
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:09,947
Why don't we just check out
some venues for you, at least?
341
00:20:09,948 --> 00:20:11,907
We'll suss a few out
and then you choose.
342
00:20:11,908 --> 00:20:14,147
And we'll compile an invite list
343
00:20:14,148 --> 00:20:18,068
and then you can... cross anyone out
that you don't really want.
344
00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:23,347
Well... I don't know.
345
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,667
I suppose so, if you wanted to.
346
00:20:25,668 --> 00:20:28,348
We would love to. I would love to.
347
00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:31,787
Oh, who's this?
348
00:20:31,788 --> 00:20:33,108
Muriel!
349
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,708
Hello!
350
00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:41,508
Hello?
I've just put my foot right in it!
351
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:43,947
Have you? Why?
352
00:20:43,948 --> 00:20:46,027
She didn't know -
Muriel didn't even know.
353
00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:47,507
My mother hadn't even told her!
354
00:20:47,508 --> 00:20:50,027
Wow. Wow. That's...
355
00:20:50,028 --> 00:20:51,067
Alan Buttershaw!
356
00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:53,907
That's... it's so perfect!
It's wonderful.
357
00:20:53,908 --> 00:20:55,987
Gosh, you must be so happy.
358
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:58,907
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I am.
359
00:20:58,908 --> 00:21:00,627
So when is it? The wedding?
360
00:21:00,628 --> 00:21:02,467
Well, we've - we've...
361
00:21:02,468 --> 00:21:05,427
Um... how did you know?
362
00:21:05,428 --> 00:21:07,747
Caroline.
Caroline just rang, just now.
363
00:21:07,748 --> 00:21:08,947
I am so deep in the doghouse,
364
00:21:08,948 --> 00:21:10,707
it won't ever be worth
trying to get out.
365
00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:11,747
It's not your fault.
366
00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:12,787
Our Caroline?
367
00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:16,107
You don't know what it's like.
Caroline, you didn't know.
368
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,867
Oh, damn! She's spoilt the surprise!
369
00:21:17,868 --> 00:21:21,987
I was thinking of popping down
this... this very weekend,
370
00:21:21,988 --> 00:21:24,987
this coming weekend, to tell you.
371
00:21:24,988 --> 00:21:26,387
Both of us, me and Alan.
372
00:21:26,388 --> 00:21:27,428
How's she taking it?
373
00:21:29,548 --> 00:21:32,348
She's smiling, she's happy.
374
00:21:33,468 --> 00:21:34,587
She's laughing!
375
00:21:34,588 --> 00:21:36,108
Yeah, well that's just...
376
00:21:37,788 --> 00:21:39,907
You wait till she comes
off the phone.
377
00:21:39,908 --> 00:21:41,147
It'll be Armageddon.
378
00:21:41,148 --> 00:21:42,867
The forces of Gog and Magog
379
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:45,067
will gather from the four corners
of the earth...
380
00:21:45,068 --> 00:21:47,787
You're losing me, Caroline.
Yeah, well, good luck.
381
00:21:47,788 --> 00:21:49,787
I've offered to organise
the wedding for them.
382
00:21:49,788 --> 00:21:51,188
And I said you'd help me.
383
00:21:55,428 --> 00:21:57,347
Hello?
384
00:21:57,348 --> 00:21:59,267
'Go on!
385
00:21:59,268 --> 00:22:00,987
'Come on, we'll have a laugh.'
386
00:22:00,988 --> 00:22:03,107
I could use a laugh, couldn't you?
387
00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:04,588
I'm...
388
00:22:05,868 --> 00:22:07,948
bloody well fed-up.
389
00:22:08,988 --> 00:22:10,987
'I have been for months.'
390
00:22:10,988 --> 00:22:12,548
Yeah. Yeah...
391
00:22:16,708 --> 00:22:17,747
Yeah, all right.
392
00:22:17,748 --> 00:22:20,547
Oh, wonderful! That'd be lovely.
393
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,627
So this coming weekend?
394
00:22:22,628 --> 00:22:24,267
How are you fixed
this coming weekend?
395
00:22:24,268 --> 00:22:27,107
Yes, well, if that was the plan,
if that fits in with you and Alan,
396
00:22:27,108 --> 00:22:28,667
it's absolutely fine with me.
397
00:22:28,668 --> 00:22:31,147
You'll be thinking
I wasn't going to tell you.
398
00:22:31,148 --> 00:22:32,467
'No! No.'
399
00:22:32,468 --> 00:22:34,787
And nothing could be
further from the truth.
400
00:22:34,788 --> 00:22:37,387
No, you wanted to surprise me -
that's nice!
401
00:22:37,388 --> 00:22:38,627
Yeah...
402
00:22:38,628 --> 00:22:39,987
Well, give Alan my love.
403
00:22:39,988 --> 00:22:41,307
I will.
404
00:22:41,308 --> 00:22:44,307
Oh, Caroline was telling me
her and John are getting divorced.
405
00:22:44,308 --> 00:22:47,027
Oh - what else did she tell you?
406
00:22:47,028 --> 00:22:48,507
Nothing, she didn't have time.
407
00:22:48,508 --> 00:22:51,147
I wanted to ring you
to say congratulations.
408
00:22:51,148 --> 00:22:52,907
You'll have to fill me in
when I see you.
409
00:22:52,908 --> 00:22:55,067
Yeah.
410
00:22:55,068 --> 00:22:58,747
OK, then. Aw! Bye-bye.
411
00:22:58,748 --> 00:23:00,828
Bye, bye. Bye-bye!
412
00:23:06,548 --> 00:23:07,588
Who were that?
413
00:23:08,748 --> 00:23:11,268
Muriel - our Muriel.
414
00:23:12,908 --> 00:23:14,187
Nice.
415
00:23:14,188 --> 00:23:15,588
Yeah.
416
00:23:17,508 --> 00:23:18,708
Whose roll is it?
417
00:23:22,108 --> 00:23:23,987
I don't know what Caroline
was thinking of,
418
00:23:23,988 --> 00:23:25,387
ringing our Muriel.
419
00:23:25,388 --> 00:23:28,107
Well, she'd have assumed -
and she wasn't alone -
420
00:23:28,108 --> 00:23:31,507
that you'd spoken to Muriel
any number of weeks ago.
421
00:23:31,508 --> 00:23:33,267
Well, I never said I had.
422
00:23:33,268 --> 00:23:36,947
If you don't want her there,
we won't invite her.
423
00:23:36,948 --> 00:23:39,027
What're you smiling at? You.
424
00:23:39,028 --> 00:23:41,947
Whenever have I said
I didn't want her there?
425
00:23:41,948 --> 00:23:44,347
It's an impression you've given.
426
00:23:44,348 --> 00:23:45,628
I don't know how.
427
00:23:46,868 --> 00:23:49,547
She's always to be interfering.
Who?
428
00:23:49,548 --> 00:23:52,987
Caroline - always has to be
organising everybody.
429
00:23:52,988 --> 00:23:56,387
Of course I want my sister
at my wedding!
430
00:23:56,388 --> 00:23:59,427
Good! Good.
431
00:23:59,428 --> 00:24:04,107
I don't know why you've got
that expression on your face.
432
00:24:04,108 --> 00:24:05,868
She's all right, our Muriel.
433
00:24:07,548 --> 00:24:08,948
In small doses.
434
00:24:11,828 --> 00:24:14,107
And if Gillian told you
to jump off a cliff,
435
00:24:14,108 --> 00:24:15,747
what would your response to that be?
436
00:24:15,748 --> 00:24:18,587
Mum, I've explained what happened.
I won't go through it again,
437
00:24:18,588 --> 00:24:20,987
because you are choosing not to hear
what's being said.
438
00:24:20,988 --> 00:24:24,147
What YOU have to decide -
when you're calmer -
439
00:24:24,148 --> 00:24:26,427
is whether you want Muriel there
on the day or not,
440
00:24:26,428 --> 00:24:28,587
because it's precisely no skin
off my nose.
441
00:24:28,588 --> 00:24:31,347
It's your wedding, your big day.
442
00:24:31,348 --> 00:24:33,588
No-one else minds what you do
as long as you're happy.
443
00:24:35,028 --> 00:24:36,428
That'll be John.
444
00:24:38,388 --> 00:24:39,428
Lawrence?
445
00:24:43,948 --> 00:24:45,028
I, erm...
446
00:24:46,228 --> 00:24:47,468
Sorry. Could...?
447
00:24:56,028 --> 00:24:57,667
This isn't your problem, clearly.
448
00:24:57,668 --> 00:25:00,148
But just... just so you're aware...
449
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:04,588
Judith's pregnant.
450
00:25:07,588 --> 00:25:08,628
Jud...?
451
00:25:10,148 --> 00:25:11,188
How?
452
00:25:12,228 --> 00:25:16,068
I mean, how...? How can...?
Eight or nine weeks.
453
00:25:17,348 --> 00:25:20,628
Is it yours? She... yes.
She's not slept with anyone else.
454
00:25:22,348 --> 00:25:24,347
So I dunno, I...
Has she been to see a doctor?
455
00:25:24,348 --> 00:25:26,547
Yes, just this week. And?
456
00:25:26,548 --> 00:25:29,828
It's definitely
not... something else?
457
00:25:31,108 --> 00:25:32,188
Such as?
458
00:25:33,868 --> 00:25:35,587
Does she want it?
459
00:25:35,588 --> 00:25:37,828
I...it's... all very...
460
00:25:39,468 --> 00:25:41,787
And the reason... the reason
I'm telling you this
461
00:25:41,788 --> 00:25:46,187
is that things might get
a bit fraught round there,
462
00:25:46,188 --> 00:25:48,868
given that it's all just
reared its...
463
00:25:51,068 --> 00:25:52,188
So...
464
00:25:53,428 --> 00:25:56,187
as much as I'm happy to have
Lawrence for the weekend normally,
465
00:25:56,188 --> 00:25:58,787
if you wanted to take him
with you instead,
466
00:25:58,788 --> 00:26:01,907
to Halifax, just this weekend,
467
00:26:01,908 --> 00:26:05,428
I would completely understand that
that might be the better option.
468
00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:08,867
Not for you, obviously. But for him.
469
00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:10,308
Popsi-Cola!
470
00:26:11,548 --> 00:26:14,028
You're going to have to come
with me. What?
471
00:26:15,508 --> 00:26:17,788
To Gillian's. Why?
472
00:26:19,388 --> 00:26:21,827
Because it's not a great weekend
for us to do this,
473
00:26:21,828 --> 00:26:24,147
as things have panned out...
I'm not staying here.
474
00:26:24,148 --> 00:26:27,467
No, we're going to Gillian's.
I'm not going to stupid Gillian's!
475
00:26:27,468 --> 00:26:29,228
I'm going to yours with you.
476
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:31,988
It's... Lawrence...
477
00:26:35,148 --> 00:26:38,228
Hates me, I'm boring.
No, you're not. Apparently.
478
00:26:40,588 --> 00:26:42,028
Lawrence? You can't...!
479
00:26:47,388 --> 00:26:48,548
You'll be on your mobile?
480
00:27:17,508 --> 00:27:18,827
Hello! Hi.
481
00:27:18,828 --> 00:27:20,707
Caroline.
Robbie.
482
00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:22,787
They're off to York Races for t'day.
483
00:27:22,788 --> 00:27:25,907
Hello! Awww...!
484
00:27:25,908 --> 00:27:28,947
I'm Cheryl! How do you do?
I'm Robbie's better half!
485
00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:32,148
Other half - what am I like?!
Don't tell me!
486
00:27:33,628 --> 00:27:35,108
Ain't it a shame about t'weather?
487
00:27:36,828 --> 00:27:38,307
I like your jacket -
488
00:27:38,308 --> 00:27:40,667
I love the pattern,
it's really classy.
489
00:27:40,668 --> 00:27:41,828
Bye, then!
490
00:27:43,508 --> 00:27:45,907
I don't know how late we'll be.
No problem.
491
00:27:45,908 --> 00:27:48,067
Loving you and leaving you.
492
00:27:48,068 --> 00:27:50,347
Bye! Have a nice time!
493
00:27:50,348 --> 00:27:51,907
That's the baby. That's Ellie.
494
00:27:51,908 --> 00:27:53,827
Oh, my God! Oh!
495
00:27:53,828 --> 00:27:56,348
You're a grandmother. Hm...
496
00:27:58,788 --> 00:28:00,188
She's annoying.
497
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:06,907
Bloody York Races.
They've money to burn.
498
00:28:06,908 --> 00:28:09,587
He's got homework.
She's got homework.
499
00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:13,067
I thought -
weren't you and Robbie...?
500
00:28:13,068 --> 00:28:16,828
No. Hell, no.
That went tits-up months ago.
501
00:28:18,108 --> 00:28:19,747
Oh, I'm sorry.
502
00:28:19,748 --> 00:28:22,227
Right, Batman. What's the plan?
503
00:28:22,228 --> 00:28:24,747
Lunch. Somewhere nice.
504
00:28:24,748 --> 00:28:27,107
To be honest... I'm a bit skint
this week.
505
00:28:27,108 --> 00:28:30,427
Well, I'm not. I'm... I'm loaded.
506
00:28:30,428 --> 00:28:32,988
I can't have you paying for me.
Yes, you can! Get your stuff.
507
00:28:35,988 --> 00:28:38,267
Do I need to get dressed up?
508
00:28:38,268 --> 00:28:39,468
Only if you want to.
509
00:28:40,988 --> 00:28:43,907
Where we going? It's a surprise.
510
00:28:43,908 --> 00:28:46,188
Whose car we going in?
I don't care!
511
00:29:20,828 --> 00:29:23,667
I came here with Kate,
three months ago.
512
00:29:23,668 --> 00:29:26,427
It was horrendous,
it was when we fell out.
513
00:29:26,428 --> 00:29:29,987
It struck me as being a nice place
for a wedding.
514
00:29:29,988 --> 00:29:32,187
I'm sorry you fell out.
515
00:29:32,188 --> 00:29:36,227
Tell me about Muriel and your mum.
What's all that about, then?
516
00:29:36,228 --> 00:29:37,867
It's a long story.
517
00:29:37,868 --> 00:29:40,467
Well, it's an old story.
518
00:29:40,468 --> 00:29:42,747
And it may be me reading
too much into things.
519
00:29:42,748 --> 00:29:44,707
I mean, she's never actually
said anything.
520
00:29:44,708 --> 00:29:47,228
You don't have to tell me, honestly.
I'm only being nosey.
521
00:29:48,308 --> 00:29:52,188
My mum,
after they moved to Sheffield...
522
00:29:53,628 --> 00:29:55,707
after - presumably -
she'd given up on your dad
523
00:29:55,708 --> 00:29:56,908
ever getting in touch...
524
00:29:58,308 --> 00:30:00,628
went out with this lad, Frank.
525
00:30:02,548 --> 00:30:03,987
It was serious, apparently.
526
00:30:03,988 --> 00:30:05,548
But then the upshot was...
527
00:30:06,748 --> 00:30:08,747
he ended up marrying Muriel.
528
00:30:08,748 --> 00:30:10,707
No. No way!
529
00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:13,067
Of course, my mum's version
is that she dumped him,
530
00:30:13,068 --> 00:30:14,988
and THEN he took up
with their Muriel. But...
531
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:18,947
why would she be so funny
about Muriel so many years on?
532
00:30:18,948 --> 00:30:20,387
God.
533
00:30:20,388 --> 00:30:24,747
All I know is... they'd had
a spat about something,
534
00:30:24,748 --> 00:30:25,988
Muriel and my mum.
535
00:30:27,068 --> 00:30:30,667
This is - God - years ago,
just after me and John got married.
536
00:30:30,668 --> 00:30:33,747
And she was upset -
Muriel was -
537
00:30:33,748 --> 00:30:35,587
so I popped round to see her,
538
00:30:35,588 --> 00:30:38,468
to see if I could pour oil
on... whatever.
539
00:30:40,068 --> 00:30:44,387
And she said, "What it is is,
540
00:30:44,388 --> 00:30:47,108
"she's never really forgiven me
about Frank".
541
00:30:48,268 --> 00:30:50,587
And stupidly, I didn't say,
"What do you mean?"
542
00:30:50,588 --> 00:30:52,588
I think I just left.
543
00:30:54,908 --> 00:30:56,547
Where is Frank?
544
00:30:56,548 --> 00:30:58,268
Dead. Years ago.
545
00:31:00,508 --> 00:31:03,707
Are you the two ladies enquiring
about wedding facilities? Yes!
546
00:31:03,708 --> 00:31:06,267
Would you like to have a look
at the brochures, over lunch?
547
00:31:06,268 --> 00:31:08,588
And then perhaps I can
show you around? Thank you.
548
00:31:21,868 --> 00:31:22,908
Um...
549
00:31:25,148 --> 00:31:28,227
I know you wouldn't mention it,
but just so you know...
550
00:31:28,228 --> 00:31:30,987
Muriel never knew
about me and Kenneth.
551
00:31:30,988 --> 00:31:33,747
About all the ups and downs we had
552
00:31:33,748 --> 00:31:36,347
after I found out he'd been
mucking about behind my back.
553
00:31:36,348 --> 00:31:40,187
OK. Like I say, I know you wouldn't,
but...
554
00:31:40,188 --> 00:31:43,187
Not the sort of sister
you could confide in, then,
555
00:31:43,188 --> 00:31:44,507
when it came to the crunch?
556
00:31:44,508 --> 00:31:47,747
No. No... not our Muriel.
557
00:31:47,748 --> 00:31:49,628
Well, who did you confide in?
558
00:31:50,828 --> 00:31:51,868
Well, no-one.
559
00:31:53,188 --> 00:31:55,307
Nobody. I didn't want folk knowing.
560
00:31:55,308 --> 00:32:01,227
I nearly told my mother, once,
when I was at a particularly low ebb.
561
00:32:01,228 --> 00:32:04,387
But... it would have broken her heart.
562
00:32:04,388 --> 00:32:07,147
And she'd have killed him.
She would have!
563
00:32:07,148 --> 00:32:11,188
So, no. I dealt with it on my own.
564
00:32:12,388 --> 00:32:15,387
Then I told Caroline, eventually,
565
00:32:15,388 --> 00:32:17,468
when she was old enough
to understand.
566
00:32:18,748 --> 00:32:21,547
And then... yeah.
567
00:32:21,548 --> 00:32:23,708
You're the only other person
I ever told.
568
00:32:31,148 --> 00:32:33,347
I've got a table booked
for this evening for seven.
569
00:32:33,348 --> 00:32:34,587
It's just down here,
570
00:32:34,588 --> 00:32:37,627
we've an Italian restaurant
just two streets away.
571
00:32:37,628 --> 00:32:40,187
It's very nice, it's very good,
we're very lucky.
572
00:32:40,188 --> 00:32:41,547
Do you like Italian, Alan?
573
00:32:41,548 --> 00:32:42,827
Oh, I can eat anything!
574
00:32:42,828 --> 00:32:44,227
And this afternoon,
575
00:32:44,228 --> 00:32:46,907
Martin and Joanne said they'd pop in
with the girls.
576
00:32:46,908 --> 00:32:49,667
How long is it since you've
seen the girls, Celia?
577
00:32:49,668 --> 00:32:51,187
They've shot up!
578
00:32:51,188 --> 00:32:53,067
Martin's my eldest.
579
00:32:53,068 --> 00:32:55,667
Laura's just started the second year
of her A-levels,
580
00:32:55,668 --> 00:32:57,587
she's doing very well.
581
00:32:57,588 --> 00:33:00,627
William's gone to Oxford.
How's he getting on?
582
00:33:00,628 --> 00:33:02,507
Fine, as far as we know.
583
00:33:02,508 --> 00:33:05,227
He's only been there a week...
Do you have grandchildren, Alan?
584
00:33:05,228 --> 00:33:07,147
Just the one. Raphael. Raff.
585
00:33:07,148 --> 00:33:10,387
He's just started the second year
of his A-levels as well,
586
00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:12,787
same as your...? Laura. Laura.
587
00:33:12,788 --> 00:33:15,747
You must be so proud of him,
William.
588
00:33:15,748 --> 00:33:19,147
Well, I always think pride
comes before a fall, so...
589
00:33:19,148 --> 00:33:21,267
Of course she's proud of him.
590
00:33:21,268 --> 00:33:23,587
I'm proud of him,
he's not even my lad!
591
00:33:23,588 --> 00:33:25,907
Aw!
What does your daughter do, Alan?
592
00:33:25,908 --> 00:33:29,427
She farms. She's a farmer.
She farms sheep.
593
00:33:29,428 --> 00:33:32,947
Oh! Of all the things you might've
said, and I'd been guessing,
594
00:33:32,948 --> 00:33:34,667
that would not have been
one of them!
595
00:33:34,668 --> 00:33:37,427
Is it a special variety, breed?
596
00:33:37,428 --> 00:33:40,467
No, no - just your bog-standard
Swaledales.
597
00:33:40,468 --> 00:33:43,107
Fascinating. It can be.
598
00:33:43,108 --> 00:33:45,508
Lambing! Oh, yes!
599
00:33:49,628 --> 00:33:53,467
Tell me about Caroline.
What about her? Her and John.
600
00:33:53,468 --> 00:33:54,827
Oh, well.
601
00:33:54,828 --> 00:33:58,067
He, er... started messing about
with somebody else.
602
00:33:58,068 --> 00:34:01,027
No... no! He's an idiot.
603
00:34:01,028 --> 00:34:02,707
John? Well, yeah.
604
00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:03,907
I am sorry.
605
00:34:03,908 --> 00:34:06,387
It was about a year ago. 18 months.
606
00:34:06,388 --> 00:34:09,027
Course, he came crawling back -
when was it?
607
00:34:09,028 --> 00:34:10,507
Three or four months since.
608
00:34:10,508 --> 00:34:13,747
Realising what a fool he'd been.
But... But she'd moved on.
609
00:34:13,748 --> 00:34:16,227
Well, she realised she didn't
need him any more.
610
00:34:16,228 --> 00:34:18,747
Good for her. I think so.
Good for her.
611
00:34:18,748 --> 00:34:20,828
Absolutely. Absolutely.
612
00:34:22,748 --> 00:34:25,427
Well, I'm going to make another
pot of tea, Alan, if...?
613
00:34:25,428 --> 00:34:27,387
Smashing, yes. Thank you.
614
00:34:27,388 --> 00:34:30,788
We should go into the garden.
It's such a lovely day!
615
00:34:32,108 --> 00:34:34,827
Oh, I don't know how much more
of this I can stand.
616
00:34:34,828 --> 00:34:36,187
What?
617
00:34:36,188 --> 00:34:37,907
Who does she think she is?
618
00:34:37,908 --> 00:34:40,347
"And what do you do,
you little person?"
619
00:34:40,348 --> 00:34:42,427
She seems right enough.
620
00:34:42,428 --> 00:34:44,387
Why do folk ask a question,
621
00:34:44,388 --> 00:34:47,107
and then interrupt as soon as you
embark on an answer?
622
00:34:47,108 --> 00:34:49,987
She's just thrilled to see you,
she's just...
623
00:34:49,988 --> 00:34:51,867
"Our Martin, our Laura."
624
00:34:51,868 --> 00:34:55,148
She wants to put a sock in it,
she never stops.
625
00:34:56,548 --> 00:34:59,348
Do not tell her about Caroline.
626
00:35:01,028 --> 00:35:03,988
Instead of tea, can I tempt anyone
to a gin and tonic?
627
00:35:07,268 --> 00:35:09,067
She'd love this. So would he.
628
00:35:09,068 --> 00:35:13,187
Can we talk about costs?
Packages, deals, numbers?
629
00:35:13,188 --> 00:35:16,227
Of course! Can I offer you ladies
a glass of champagne?
630
00:35:16,228 --> 00:35:20,507
Um... yes. Thank you. Do you want
to join me in The Waterhouse Bar,
631
00:35:20,508 --> 00:35:21,588
when you're ready?
632
00:35:24,148 --> 00:35:26,947
If I drink too much,
can you drive my Land Rover?
633
00:35:26,948 --> 00:35:28,548
What if I drink too much?
634
00:35:29,988 --> 00:35:31,548
We'll be up shit creek.
635
00:35:49,868 --> 00:35:51,507
I'm going out.
636
00:35:51,508 --> 00:35:52,947
Is this too loud?
637
00:35:52,948 --> 00:35:56,147
No! No. It's me. It's fine.
We can turn it down.
638
00:35:56,148 --> 00:35:59,747
It's fine.
It's just... I can't concentrate.
639
00:35:59,748 --> 00:36:02,107
Where are you going?
Just for a walk.
640
00:36:02,108 --> 00:36:04,267
Shall we all go? No.
We can all go.
641
00:36:04,268 --> 00:36:06,148
I just... no. No, you...
642
00:36:08,748 --> 00:36:12,467
Perhaps you could get something
for supper... while you're out.
643
00:36:12,468 --> 00:36:14,507
Pizzas or...? Yeah.
644
00:36:14,508 --> 00:36:15,987
How long will you be?
645
00:36:15,988 --> 00:36:17,267
I don't know, does it matter?
646
00:36:17,268 --> 00:36:18,508
Have you got your mobile?
647
00:36:26,348 --> 00:36:28,267
Isn't she too old to be pregnant?
648
00:36:28,268 --> 00:36:31,707
Well... no.
649
00:36:31,708 --> 00:36:33,667
Is she all right?
650
00:36:33,668 --> 00:36:35,588
I... It's...
651
00:36:36,788 --> 00:36:39,027
Why did you ask her
if she'd got her mobile?
652
00:36:39,028 --> 00:36:40,787
Oh, she can't...
653
00:36:40,788 --> 00:36:43,588
She doesn't... She sometimes...
What?
654
00:36:45,548 --> 00:36:46,788
I'll just follow her.
655
00:36:49,108 --> 00:36:51,147
I'll just make sure she doesn't...
656
00:36:51,148 --> 00:36:54,307
She shouldn't really be drinking,
you see. Right.
657
00:36:54,308 --> 00:36:57,188
Shan't be long. Famous last words.
658
00:37:08,548 --> 00:37:11,547
Harry Wallace! Good Lord.
He once asked me out.
659
00:37:11,548 --> 00:37:13,507
Oh, Harry asked everyone out.
660
00:37:13,508 --> 00:37:16,467
Oh, I'm sorry, not that...
No, no, I know he did!
661
00:37:16,468 --> 00:37:18,387
I didn't say yes!
662
00:37:18,388 --> 00:37:20,347
Did he ever ask you out, Celia?
663
00:37:20,348 --> 00:37:22,427
He wouldn't dare.
664
00:37:22,428 --> 00:37:25,988
We're related now, me and Harry.
How?
665
00:37:26,988 --> 00:37:30,187
Oh, well -
did you not... tell Muriel...?
666
00:37:30,188 --> 00:37:31,468
Er, no. I hadn't.
667
00:37:32,988 --> 00:37:37,107
Well, I've got a great-grandchild.
Emily. Emily Jane.
668
00:37:37,108 --> 00:37:40,387
His - Harry's - granddaughter
and my grandson, Raff.
669
00:37:40,388 --> 00:37:41,587
They've...
670
00:37:41,588 --> 00:37:44,387
I thought... did you not say
he was still doing his A-levels?
671
00:37:44,388 --> 00:37:48,627
Yes! They're very young.
They're both still at school?
672
00:37:48,628 --> 00:37:51,947
Mm. Oh. Well... it happens.
673
00:37:51,948 --> 00:37:55,427
They're very fond of each other.
Of course. And they're not daft.
674
00:37:55,428 --> 00:37:58,507
Well... they were, obviously,
or it wouldn't have happened, but...
675
00:37:58,508 --> 00:38:00,067
So they've risen to the occasion.
676
00:38:00,068 --> 00:38:04,147
Yes! Yes, they seem to be doing.
677
00:38:04,148 --> 00:38:05,428
Gosh.
678
00:38:09,708 --> 00:38:13,067
Do you think Caroline'll ever
get married again, Celia?
679
00:38:13,068 --> 00:38:14,747
Is there anyone?
680
00:38:14,748 --> 00:38:16,467
Well, she's very attractive...
681
00:38:16,468 --> 00:38:18,827
I doubt it.
I think she's seen the light.
682
00:38:18,828 --> 00:38:20,987
Seen the light? As regards men.
683
00:38:20,988 --> 00:38:26,067
I think she's worked out what
shallow-minded half-wits they are.
684
00:38:26,068 --> 00:38:28,347
Oh, not you!
685
00:38:28,348 --> 00:38:30,707
Not you, never you.
686
00:38:30,708 --> 00:38:33,588
Aw, so wonderful. It's so perfect.
687
00:38:34,868 --> 00:38:37,467
What a shame it didn't happen
all those years ago.
688
00:38:37,468 --> 00:38:39,188
Yeah. Yeah.
689
00:38:40,348 --> 00:38:42,268
In oh-so many ways.
690
00:38:43,588 --> 00:38:47,028
Although we wouldn't have had
our Caroline and our Gillian.
691
00:38:54,668 --> 00:38:56,107
Hello, love! It's Caroline.
692
00:38:56,108 --> 00:38:58,427
Mum, this place we're visiting
is perfect.
693
00:38:58,428 --> 00:39:00,707
I think you'll love it -
there are various options,
694
00:39:00,708 --> 00:39:02,827
it depends how far
you want to push the boat out,
695
00:39:02,828 --> 00:39:04,827
but honestly,
I think you'll be charmed.
696
00:39:04,828 --> 00:39:07,747
But the point is the only day
they've got free
697
00:39:07,748 --> 00:39:09,947
this side of Christmas,
and it's a way off,
698
00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:12,987
is Tuesday the 24th of December,
so...
699
00:39:12,988 --> 00:39:14,987
But that... that's Christmas Eve!
700
00:39:14,988 --> 00:39:16,307
'I know it's Christmas Eve!'
701
00:39:16,308 --> 00:39:18,707
So we need to make a decision,
because it'll probably go,
702
00:39:18,708 --> 00:39:20,028
they're very popular.
703
00:39:21,228 --> 00:39:23,747
I think they think
we're getting married.
704
00:39:23,748 --> 00:39:27,267
Can you e-mail me some pictures,
to Muriel's address,
705
00:39:27,268 --> 00:39:28,587
so we can have a look?
706
00:39:28,588 --> 00:39:29,628
Just hang on, Mum.
707
00:39:31,188 --> 00:39:33,587
W-Why would they think that?
708
00:39:33,588 --> 00:39:37,947
I'm guessing that they remember
you bringing Kate here,
709
00:39:37,948 --> 00:39:43,147
and they think that I'm just
another one of your women.
710
00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:45,387
No! 'Hello?'
711
00:39:45,388 --> 00:39:46,948
Are you there? Caroline?
712
00:39:50,548 --> 00:39:52,387
Hello? Sorry.
713
00:39:52,388 --> 00:39:54,867
Can you e-mail me some pictures?
714
00:39:54,868 --> 00:39:56,187
Yeah, I can.
715
00:39:56,188 --> 00:40:00,108
I've... got Muriel's e-mail
address on my phone.
716
00:40:01,468 --> 00:40:02,707
What are you laughing at?
717
00:40:02,708 --> 00:40:05,628
Nothing. We've just had
some champagne, that's all.
718
00:40:06,868 --> 00:40:10,027
Oh, don't do that! Why not?
It's frightening. Oh, thanks.
719
00:40:10,028 --> 00:40:12,027
My pelvic floor isn't what it was.
720
00:40:12,028 --> 00:40:14,347
I'm going to finish wi' you
if you're not careful.
721
00:40:14,348 --> 00:40:15,908
I can't hear what you're saying.
722
00:40:17,388 --> 00:40:21,787
I'm going to send you some photos
and a list of costs, Mum. 'OK.'
723
00:40:21,788 --> 00:40:23,427
Are you having a nice time?
724
00:40:23,428 --> 00:40:25,227
No.
725
00:40:25,228 --> 00:40:28,587
I'm sorry I rang her,
I'm sorry I put my foot in it.
726
00:40:28,588 --> 00:40:30,987
It's fine, it's forgotten.
You didn't know.
727
00:40:30,988 --> 00:40:32,947
I love you.
728
00:40:32,948 --> 00:40:34,227
Aww!
729
00:40:34,228 --> 00:40:36,267
'I love you.' Bye.
730
00:40:36,268 --> 00:40:37,987
Bye.
731
00:40:37,988 --> 00:40:39,268
Bye-bye.
732
00:40:47,828 --> 00:40:49,268
How are we doing, ladies?
733
00:41:07,348 --> 00:41:08,787
That's fantastic.
734
00:41:08,788 --> 00:41:11,667
Thank you very much, we will.
735
00:41:11,668 --> 00:41:15,308
Bye. Bye. Bye-bye.
736
00:41:17,788 --> 00:41:20,107
Have they got it? Yeah.
737
00:41:20,108 --> 00:41:23,347
"Inebriated headmistress
leaves phone in hotel bar."
738
00:41:23,348 --> 00:41:25,907
"Drunken pillock
leaves phone in hotel bar."
739
00:41:25,908 --> 00:41:29,028
That's not good copy,
that's just normal. 60.
740
00:41:33,828 --> 00:41:35,548
Quick, open up, I need the loo.
741
00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:41,908
Oh, I never lock up.
Nowt worth stealing.
742
00:41:49,588 --> 00:41:51,187
'Hello. This is Caroline.
743
00:41:51,188 --> 00:41:53,628
'Leave a message and I'll get back
to you as quickly as I can.
744
00:41:56,428 --> 00:42:00,027
Mum? Dad went out. Ages ago.
745
00:42:00,028 --> 00:42:01,347
I can't get hold of him.
746
00:42:01,348 --> 00:42:03,108
Can you come and get me?
747
00:42:06,748 --> 00:42:08,908
Where are you?
Why aren't you answering?
748
00:42:12,868 --> 00:42:15,388
I'm sorry I said you were boring.
749
00:42:18,788 --> 00:42:19,948
Mum?
750
00:42:22,108 --> 00:42:23,148
Mum?
751
00:42:28,268 --> 00:42:31,027
Tea. Mm.
752
00:42:31,028 --> 00:42:32,947
You definitely all right
for driving me back
753
00:42:32,948 --> 00:42:34,307
to pick up the Landy tomorrow?
754
00:42:34,308 --> 00:42:36,467
Well, yeah,
I've got to get my phone, haven't I?
755
00:42:36,468 --> 00:42:37,588
Oh.
756
00:42:48,428 --> 00:42:49,748
What happened?
757
00:42:51,508 --> 00:42:52,548
With Kate?
758
00:42:55,428 --> 00:42:59,787
I booked two separate rooms
for a romantic weekend.
759
00:42:59,788 --> 00:43:01,348
You knob.
760
00:43:03,508 --> 00:43:04,548
Don't go on at me.
761
00:43:07,348 --> 00:43:12,187
What time will thingy and whats-it
be back from... wherever-it-was
762
00:43:12,188 --> 00:43:13,428
with little doo-dah?
763
00:43:14,508 --> 00:43:19,308
Raff. Ellie. York. Calamity.
764
00:43:22,108 --> 00:43:23,148
I've no idea.
765
00:43:25,908 --> 00:43:27,507
Will you have room for me?
766
00:43:27,508 --> 00:43:30,708
We've always got room for you.
767
00:43:37,108 --> 00:43:38,228
I blew it with Kate.
768
00:43:41,268 --> 00:43:42,548
I really blew it.
769
00:43:45,908 --> 00:43:48,908
I only realise now
how lovely it was.
770
00:43:50,788 --> 00:43:51,828
How precious.
771
00:43:55,628 --> 00:43:58,508
And I've tried to apologise,
but she won't listen.
772
00:44:00,028 --> 00:44:02,428
I think she's decided
that I'm bad for her.
773
00:44:04,268 --> 00:44:07,668
And there's nothing I can do or say.
774
00:44:10,668 --> 00:44:13,228
I'm in this box now,
with "bad" written on it.
775
00:44:17,188 --> 00:44:19,548
Well, not "bad." Just...
776
00:44:23,308 --> 00:44:24,348
"Arrogant."
777
00:44:26,228 --> 00:44:27,428
"Inept."
778
00:44:29,948 --> 00:44:30,988
"Selfish."
779
00:44:33,028 --> 00:44:34,308
"Repressed."
780
00:44:37,548 --> 00:44:40,508
Just, emotionally... crippled.
781
00:44:44,948 --> 00:44:45,988
You all right?
782
00:44:52,628 --> 00:44:54,148
What about you and Robbie?
783
00:44:56,228 --> 00:44:58,508
Oh - me and Robbie.
784
00:45:01,588 --> 00:45:03,588
That's a different sort of thing
altogether.
785
00:45:06,068 --> 00:45:07,108
Why?
786
00:45:17,988 --> 00:45:21,268
Do you fancy a drop of brandy
in your tea?
787
00:45:23,228 --> 00:45:24,268
Are you?
788
00:45:33,548 --> 00:45:36,347
Oh, I hope we've made
the right decision.
789
00:45:36,348 --> 00:45:38,587
I think it looks spot-on.
790
00:45:38,588 --> 00:45:41,947
One thing I will say for Caroline -
she has good taste.
791
00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:45,267
Well, we're committed now,
they've paid the deposit.
792
00:45:45,268 --> 00:45:48,108
Although she sounded a bit pissed
when I spoke to her.
793
00:45:49,548 --> 00:45:53,307
Is this... Kenneth? Yeah.
794
00:45:53,308 --> 00:45:54,628
That's him.
795
00:45:55,748 --> 00:45:56,908
Hm...
796
00:45:58,308 --> 00:46:01,027
She seems very fond of you, Muriel.
797
00:46:01,028 --> 00:46:02,707
Considering...
798
00:46:02,708 --> 00:46:04,227
Considering what?
799
00:46:04,228 --> 00:46:07,867
Well, that... you don't seem
very fond of her.
800
00:46:07,868 --> 00:46:10,268
Oh... she's right enough.
801
00:46:11,828 --> 00:46:13,628
It's...
What?
802
00:46:15,748 --> 00:46:20,787
Oh... she's always has to be
the centre of attention.
803
00:46:20,788 --> 00:46:25,427
She can't just come to a party,
Muriel - she has to BE the party.
804
00:46:25,428 --> 00:46:29,147
Well, some people are needy
that way, aren't they?
805
00:46:29,148 --> 00:46:31,187
Needy? Is that what it is?
806
00:46:31,188 --> 00:46:35,187
Scared of being left out.
Scared of being overlooked.
807
00:46:35,188 --> 00:46:39,268
So they push their way to the front,
with their sharp elbows.
808
00:46:40,748 --> 00:46:42,787
Some people might find
that attractive,
809
00:46:42,788 --> 00:46:44,268
but I'm damned certain I don't.
810
00:46:46,788 --> 00:46:48,947
Is that what you're bothered about?
811
00:46:48,948 --> 00:46:50,387
If she came to t'wedding,
812
00:46:50,388 --> 00:46:53,628
she'd make you feel like it were
her big day, rather than yours?
813
00:46:56,068 --> 00:46:57,588
Something like that, yes.
814
00:47:02,348 --> 00:47:03,948
She's very plain, you know.
815
00:47:05,388 --> 00:47:06,428
Compared to you.
816
00:47:08,308 --> 00:47:11,267
And she hasn't made me laugh
all day. Not once.
817
00:47:11,268 --> 00:47:16,507
I think the day we get married,
you and me together,
818
00:47:16,508 --> 00:47:19,748
we'll eclipse everyone else
entirely - don't you?
819
00:47:22,508 --> 00:47:23,748
Was that her husband?
820
00:47:25,068 --> 00:47:28,708
Yeah. Frank. That's Frank.
821
00:47:31,068 --> 00:47:32,388
He's dead.
822
00:47:40,028 --> 00:47:41,228
So here's the thing.
823
00:47:43,028 --> 00:47:44,188
This is the thing.
824
00:47:48,628 --> 00:47:49,988
Me and Robbie.
825
00:47:51,268 --> 00:47:56,988
I am - I've always been -
very, very, very fond of him.
826
00:48:00,188 --> 00:48:02,507
I should've stuck with him.
827
00:48:02,508 --> 00:48:03,748
Robbie.
828
00:48:07,628 --> 00:48:09,708
But Eddie...
829
00:48:13,068 --> 00:48:14,108
He was...
830
00:48:16,188 --> 00:48:18,228
just one of those men who...
831
00:48:19,468 --> 00:48:20,508
Oh, God.
832
00:48:23,308 --> 00:48:27,027
When I was with him,
nothing else mattered. Nothing.
833
00:48:27,028 --> 00:48:29,387
You could've dropped
a helium bomb on Halifax
834
00:48:29,388 --> 00:48:31,028
and I wouldn't have noticed.
835
00:48:32,668 --> 00:48:34,028
It was hydrogen.
836
00:48:40,788 --> 00:48:42,868
I shouldn't have done that to Robbie.
837
00:48:46,828 --> 00:48:48,148
But I couldn't help it.
838
00:48:51,068 --> 00:48:53,027
I couldn't.
839
00:48:53,028 --> 00:48:56,067
But you'd got over that, surely,
before -
840
00:48:56,068 --> 00:49:00,747
you and Robbie, when you started
going out with each other again...
841
00:49:00,748 --> 00:49:02,068
Mm, yeah. We did.
842
00:49:04,268 --> 00:49:05,387
Wow.
843
00:49:05,388 --> 00:49:06,708
But...
844
00:49:08,068 --> 00:49:11,387
It's not going to last
with that Cheryl, is it?
845
00:49:11,388 --> 00:49:12,747
He'll soon get to the end of her.
846
00:49:12,748 --> 00:49:15,707
He's obviously only bothering...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
847
00:49:15,708 --> 00:49:18,507
I know that. I know that.
848
00:49:18,508 --> 00:49:19,828
Sorry.
849
00:49:21,668 --> 00:49:24,428
Although Raff reckons
she's moving in with him.
850
00:49:28,588 --> 00:49:30,827
Am I missing the point?
851
00:49:30,828 --> 00:49:33,828
No. No. No.
852
00:49:35,588 --> 00:49:36,708
I...
853
00:49:41,188 --> 00:49:44,628
don't think... ever...
854
00:49:48,828 --> 00:49:51,148
me and Robbie could be a good idea.
855
00:49:54,468 --> 00:49:57,668
Even though, all things being equal,
we could've been.
856
00:49:59,228 --> 00:50:00,707
Why?
857
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:04,748
We could've been really nice
together.
858
00:50:06,188 --> 00:50:08,348
Why do you think you can't be?
859
00:50:13,708 --> 00:50:17,828
I did the... shittiest thing to him.
860
00:50:22,708 --> 00:50:26,268
I never told anyone this, Caroline.
861
00:50:27,668 --> 00:50:31,627
I'm... very drunk.
So am I.
862
00:50:31,628 --> 00:50:33,747
Are you? Yeah. Really? Yeah.
863
00:50:33,748 --> 00:50:36,468
As drunk as me?
I don't know, I'm pretty drunk.
864
00:50:37,508 --> 00:50:39,547
Don't tell me something
you're going to regret.
865
00:50:39,548 --> 00:50:42,108
I want to tell you. OK.
866
00:50:48,028 --> 00:50:49,308
I...
867
00:50:55,188 --> 00:50:56,348
I murdered him.
868
00:50:59,748 --> 00:51:00,988
Eddie.
869
00:51:03,388 --> 00:51:06,187
The only proper family
Robbie ever had.
870
00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:07,788
And... fuck!
871
00:51:18,508 --> 00:51:19,668
I murdered him.
872
00:51:27,108 --> 00:51:29,827
You don't know what you're
talking about, you never did!
873
00:51:29,828 --> 00:51:31,427
It's all so easy, isn't it?
874
00:51:31,428 --> 00:51:35,507
It's all so cut and dried
and black and white,
875
00:51:35,508 --> 00:51:38,627
that's why you've been so successful
all your life!
876
00:51:38,628 --> 00:51:42,387
Because you've got all the bloody
answers to bloody everything!
877
00:51:42,388 --> 00:51:43,627
Lawrence?
878
00:51:43,628 --> 00:51:47,707
"Just get rid of it, Judith,
you're killing it, anyway."
879
00:51:47,708 --> 00:51:50,307
Can you hear what you sound like?
880
00:51:50,308 --> 00:51:52,667
Can you hear how nasty it is?
881
00:51:52,668 --> 00:51:56,227
Lawrence?
You have no... Men don't!
882
00:51:56,228 --> 00:51:59,787
Women create, men destroy. Fact.
883
00:51:59,788 --> 00:52:04,187
Women create life, men shoot people.
884
00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:07,587
Name me one war started by a woman.
885
00:52:07,588 --> 00:52:08,787
The Falklands.
886
00:52:08,788 --> 00:52:10,747
Yeah! Exactly! That's the one.
887
00:52:10,748 --> 00:52:11,987
Where's Lawrence?
888
00:52:11,988 --> 00:52:15,587
Out of how many? Since time began?
889
00:52:15,588 --> 00:52:17,547
One war.
Where is Lawrence?
890
00:52:17,548 --> 00:52:21,387
And don't say the Trojan War,
because that's bollocks.
891
00:52:21,388 --> 00:52:25,507
Pollux. Pollux and Castor,
they started it.
892
00:52:25,508 --> 00:52:28,267
They invaded... Athens.
893
00:52:28,268 --> 00:52:32,467
She was - Helen was just an excuse
to get the guns out.
894
00:52:32,468 --> 00:52:33,947
Boadicea.
895
00:52:33,948 --> 00:52:36,267
Joan of Arc, Elizabeth I,
896
00:52:36,268 --> 00:52:40,987
Cleopatra, Queen Anne, Golda Meir,
897
00:52:40,988 --> 00:52:43,787
Indira Ghandi, Catherine the Great.
898
00:52:43,788 --> 00:52:46,947
Queen Isabella of Spain -
she was a bitch.
899
00:52:46,948 --> 00:52:47,987
Tzu-Hsi...
900
00:52:47,988 --> 00:52:50,147
You made that last one up.
901
00:52:50,148 --> 00:52:53,067
You don't know what you're
talking about! Let's face it.
902
00:52:53,068 --> 00:52:55,628
Gun-boat diplomacy!
Who started that?
903
00:52:56,828 --> 00:52:58,307
Queen Victoria!
904
00:52:58,308 --> 00:52:59,948
Where is Lawrence?
905
00:53:05,148 --> 00:53:06,308
He knocked me about.
906
00:53:09,348 --> 00:53:10,388
All the time.
907
00:53:14,508 --> 00:53:16,628
He knocked three of my back teeth
out.
908
00:53:19,508 --> 00:53:21,388
Be careful not to do it at the front.
909
00:53:22,908 --> 00:53:24,468
Where people can see.
910
00:53:26,748 --> 00:53:29,788
Once... he pinned me down...
911
00:53:31,108 --> 00:53:32,708
and put a cigarette out.
912
00:53:37,228 --> 00:53:38,508
On my neck.
913
00:53:52,668 --> 00:53:55,788
I've... shed blood...
914
00:53:57,588 --> 00:54:00,148
in every room in this house.
915
00:54:11,588 --> 00:54:14,628
There were other humiliations.
916
00:54:17,828 --> 00:54:19,228
I won't bore you with them.
917
00:54:22,268 --> 00:54:23,588
So...
918
00:54:32,828 --> 00:54:33,868
I...
919
00:54:37,948 --> 00:54:41,507
The police had me in for... days.
920
00:54:41,508 --> 00:54:43,828
Hours, over several days.
921
00:54:47,188 --> 00:54:48,508
And me dad.
922
00:54:51,948 --> 00:54:55,508
I told him same tale I told them.
923
00:54:56,988 --> 00:54:59,948
That I'd found him with his head
in the log splitter.
924
00:55:04,428 --> 00:55:06,907
He had an inkling
there was more to it than that,
925
00:55:06,908 --> 00:55:08,068
me dad did.
926
00:55:13,708 --> 00:55:16,307
So I told him I'd put him
out of his misery
927
00:55:16,308 --> 00:55:18,508
after a botched suicide effort.
928
00:55:24,388 --> 00:55:26,267
He bought that.
929
00:55:26,268 --> 00:55:28,788
I think - I think he bought that.
930
00:55:33,908 --> 00:55:35,948
Then he made me ring the police.
931
00:55:43,308 --> 00:55:44,588
Why are you telling me this?
932
00:55:47,628 --> 00:55:48,868
I don't know.
933
00:55:54,028 --> 00:55:55,388
Because...
934
00:55:56,628 --> 00:55:58,468
that's why it could never work.
935
00:55:59,588 --> 00:56:00,628
Me and Robbie.
936
00:56:02,388 --> 00:56:06,067
Even he -
after the coroner's report -
937
00:56:06,068 --> 00:56:07,308
had to accept...
938
00:56:15,628 --> 00:56:16,668
But I did it.
939
00:56:23,108 --> 00:56:27,187
His brother,
only proper family he's ever had,
940
00:56:27,188 --> 00:56:28,788
and I...
941
00:56:33,228 --> 00:56:34,268
did it.
942
00:56:38,548 --> 00:56:39,588
So that's why.
943
00:56:41,988 --> 00:56:43,028
That's why.
944
00:56:46,228 --> 00:56:47,468
But other than that...
945
00:56:55,388 --> 00:56:58,628
I don't know why I've told you,
Caroline.
946
00:57:29,588 --> 00:57:31,748
Oh...
947
00:57:52,668 --> 00:57:55,187
I need to know
if you're going to go to the police.
948
00:57:55,188 --> 00:57:56,827
Do you fancy a stag night, Alan?
949
00:57:56,828 --> 00:57:58,227
Like in a lap dancing club?
950
00:57:58,228 --> 00:58:01,587
I decided it was worth,
one more time, saying I'm sorry.
951
00:58:01,588 --> 00:58:06,027
My only regret is that we didn't get
that bungalow at Ripponden Bank.
952
00:58:06,028 --> 00:58:08,107
It were my fault we didn't get it.
953
00:58:08,108 --> 00:58:11,707
Kate's driven herself into hospital.
She's bleeding.
954
00:58:11,708 --> 00:58:15,507
I think you and our Gillian
should get back together.
955
00:58:15,508 --> 00:58:19,187
Did you ever know how miserable
I was with Kenneth? No.
956
00:58:19,188 --> 00:58:21,147
Hi? We're ready.
They're ready.
957
00:58:21,233 --> 00:58:22,272
Have a nice Christmas.
958
00:58:22,273 --> 00:58:23,713
Yeah, how likely is that?
959
00:58:25,125 --> 00:58:54,360
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