Original subtitles

-♪ I've been thinkin' about our cradle ♪

♪ The way it used to sway ♪

♪ When the magistrates were squealin' by ♪

♪ And the roaches ran away ♪

♪ The men would come defend us ♪

-I'll tell you my test for a politician.

You tell me something you're going to do

to make the world better,

but nobody knows about it till 20 years after you're dead.

You got my vote.

♪♪

-♪ Hey, everybody, have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in, hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies, so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties, boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-10 years ago,

specifically the evening of July the 13th, 2013,

a movie came along

that forever changed the motion picture industry,

that forever changed the assumptions of marine biology,

that forever changed the scientific basis of meteorology

and forever changed a portion of the Pacific Ocean coastline

near Oxnard.

On the evening of July the 13th, 2013,

a movie came along that changed lives.

Nay, I would go further and say that it changed the meaning

of what it means to be alive.

[Laughter]

On the evening of July the 13th, 2013, a movie emerged

that was destined to become a cultural milestone

as millions of Americans, Canadians,

Polynesians were so stunned that they canceled work

and they stood in the streets hugging their children,

celebrating the advent of not just a new film,

but a new kind of story telling.

Tonight, we celebrate that movie.

Tonight, we ask the question, "Where were you on 7/13?"

Tonight, we celebrate the 10th anniversary of...

"Sharknado."

-Whoo! -Yeah. All right.

-Today, of course, we know that "Sharknado"

was a mixed blessing.

I mean, we've all heard the stories.

I'm not going to repeat them here.

Stories of shark cruelty as overzealous assistant directors

dropped live sharks out of helicopters,

stories of profiteering as the producers of "Sharknado"

sold shark insurance in landlocked African countries,

taking advantage of local superstitions.

And of course, the trial of shark trainer

Sebastian Wilcox on charges of clothes pinning

the snouts of hammerheads that were then flung

into a wind tunnel and left to flounder.

Unfortunately, three elderly sharks had to be euthanized.

And seven assistant directors were also euthanized.

But this is not the time to dwell

on costly liability litigation.

This is the time to marvel at what a silent pictures

director Anthony Ferrante and writer Thunder Levin

were able to do with their visionary

leap into the global warming future,

a universe where giant flopping meta-mouth,

cartilaginous predator fish

are assimilated into urban middle class life

and occasionally exploded with hand grenades.

It's time to say,

"Happy birthday, Sharknado, we still love you."

-That was freaking beautiful.

-Hard to believe it's been 10 years.

-Honestly, it seems like yesterday.

-Anthony wanted to be with us tonight.

-I know -He's shooting

the next epic in Mexico.

-I know! -So you know what?

Let's fly down to Mexico and surprise him.

Let's take him some shark skin boots or something.

He deserves it.

-Well, maybe not tonight, but yeah, let's do that.

-Okay. What's your favorite in the franchise?

-"Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!"

-Oh, yeah, because of the David Hasselhoff spaceship.

Or maybe the Michael Bolton performance in 3.

-Perhaps Chris fucking Jericho.

But also Jerry Springer. They're both amazing.

-RIP. -Oh.

I think mine is "Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens."

[Laughter]

-For the part where the Eiffel Tower crash lands

at Niagara Falls, isn't it?

-It's more for the part where the Chippendales dancer

crotch rockets the shark.

-Oh, let's call Anthony. -I think we have to, you know?

You know, I'll get Yuki to set up a satellite feed.

Where is he in Mexico?

-I'm not sure.

-Well, it doesn't matter. Yuki can find him.

-All right, I'll find out where he is.

-Hope he's finally doing "Sharknado 7."

-No, it's something else. -Okay.

So frustrating. So frustrating.

I mean, it's been five years. Five years!

-I know, but I think they said the last Sharknado,

"It's About Time", is actually the last Sharknado.

-Yeah, I know, but don't believe that. That's publicity.

Tara Reid is still spry.

[Laughter]

-They all are. I think the writers are just --

they got a little burnt out.

-Well, let's not dwell on that. Let's go to the drive in totals.

Somehow I feel these particular drive in totals are sacred.

We have 19 dead bodies, 20 dead sharks, two leg chunks,

one bikini bar riot, one monster truck

motor vehicle chase, one suicide bomb truck,

one bomb equipped chopper,

burning nursing home swimming pool,

stomach evisceration, mid-air Chainsaw shark,

double shark day player flattening,

exploding car, exploding shark,

internal shark stomach chainsaw rescue sequence,

shark power line electrocution, school bus rope rescue,

pool shark, knife to the gills,

tin roof squashing, crumbling houses,

trawler crew devouring, beach bunny mauling,

trawler gun battle, staircase header,

Grauman's Chinese sidewalk destruction,

multiple shark flopping,

20,000 migrating sharks,

intense shark motor vehicle ramming,

multiple bloody shark splats, wave canyons,

thousands of sharks cascading on to the Hotel Roosevelt roof,

runaway Ferris wheel, underwater Beverly Hills,

black and white mood inducing storm footage,

gratuitous shark soup, gratuitous bikinis,

legs roll, arm rolls,

Wave fu, Mexican hurricane fu,

global warming fu, bar stool fu,

propane tank fu, chainsaw fu, Jonah fu.

Drive-In Academy Award nominations for

Israel Saez de Miguel

as Captain Santiago for making $1 million

shark hunt deal with an AK-47.

Marcus Choi as Palmer, the shark buyer with a box of money.

Cassie Scerbo as Nova, the shark scarred waitress who says,

"I hope the storm kills them. I hope it kills them all,"

and then making a Robert Shaw speech.

Sumiko Braun as Deanna, the show off shark meal surfer.

John Heard as George,

a drunk who spends all his time at Fin's Bar.

Tara Reid as April, Fin's former wife,

Christopher Wolfe as Colin, who says

Beverly Hills Emergency Services are second to none

right before he opens the window and gets eaten by a shark.

Jaason Simmons as Baz, who says,

"It's time to leave Kansas, mate."

Thunder Levin, the writer, for taking his

flying shark seriously.

Anthony Ferrante, the director for doing things

the drive in way.

Four stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

I'd give it five stars if I could.

-Same. -Can't violate the formula,

you know?

-Have you noticed -- -You have integrity.

-Have you noticed that since the Sharknado series came out,

we have not had any actual sharknados

because the National Weather Service

took preventative measures,

and we are safer tonight from dangling waterspout

head crushes by flopping sharks than at any time

in American history.

Right? -You're so right.

But I hope we didn't kill all of the Sharknado sharks.

-Oh, no, Darcy.

Oh, no.

I know that Asylum, they have more.

They're just hoarding them right now.

Hoarding them, I say!

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

♪♪

[Wind whistling]

[Thunder crashing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Toss 'em and bag 'em.

-Enjoy.

-[Slurps]

-It's good.

Not great.

But seeing that you are a business man, Mr. Santiago.

-Captain.

-[Laughs] Captain.

My associates and I are willing

to negotiate a reasonable price.

Let's say, $100,000.

-[Laughs]

-$1 million for the entire take,

not a penny less.

-A steep price for a small catch.

-A pod of 20,000 sharks is migrating in this direction.

When we're through with it,

one million will look like a bargain.

♪♪

-$500.

-If you're looking to negotiate, Mr. Palmer,

look for an insurance salesman.

-I do believe we have a deal.

[Thunder rumbles]

-All hands on deck. All hands on deck.

-Tie the sails! -Get the fins to the galley!

Captain, there's a north wind hitting us fast!

You need to get up here.

-I think this is for you, captain. The deposit.

You'll receive the rest when we dock.

-You know the most important thing I learned out here?

We shouldn't be afraid of the sharks.

They are the ones that should be afraid of us.

Salud.

[Waves crashing]

[Thud]

-What the hell was that?

-They're called waves. They do that from time to time.

♪♪

-Storm's too strong.

We're gonna have to go around it!

-Make it happen. And get us back on course.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Captain!

[Screams]

[Sailor screaming]

[Gunshot]

[Gunshots]

♪♪

♪♪

-Change of plans, Captain.

I'm going to take the money,

your cargo, and what's left of the ship.

[Gunshot]

[Screams]

-I don't think so.

[Palmer screams]

♪♪

♪♪

[Santiago screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Crazy waves out there today.

Something unnatural about it.

-There's something unnatural about everything.

-♪ Let's get high ♪

-Lots of scenery today.

I'm gonna focus on the waves.

♪ Let us be all good ♪

♪ Let it ride ♪

♪ Let it ride ♪

♪ It's only time so let it ride ♪

♪♪

♪ Yeah ♪

-You better hurry, mate. The clouds are coming in.

-Whoo! Reminds me of the nationals in '04.

Remember?

-You totally ripped that bugger.

I thought you were going to be rag dolled for sure.

-You know, we really don't talk like that, right?

-Do you doing a ride-out or not?

-Sure. Thanks.

♪♪

-I don't mind.

It's totally cooking out here today, mate.

-You're not kidding. It's a Mexican hurricane.

Bad for them good for us.

-Isn't that a drink?

-Hit it! Hit it!

[Laughs] Whoo!

[Thunder rumbling]

-Good Morning, California. This is Joni Waves.

That's Joni with with an "I."

You may have noticed this morning

the unusual weather here in Southern California.

The clouds coming in over the ocean

and the larger waves are proving difficult for surfers.

I'm here in Santa Monica

with some breaking news about Hurricane David.

It's been pounding the west coast of Mexico,

pushing it's way up the coast to the state of California.

It seems to be driving a very dangerous surf.

-No kidding. Fin's out there.

-Yeah, but I won't worry about Fin.

I mean, he's the best surfer I've ever seen.

Except for me of course. In my prime.

-When was that, George? The Civil War?

-Hey, I'm not that old.

You know I've still got some moves, you know, babe.

-Hey! What did I tell you?

You can touch everything at this bar except for me.

-Hey! Come on! -Oopsies!

Looks like you need another drink.

-Yeah, a free one. One on the house.

One that doesn't coast me any money.

How come you never talk about that scar

right there on your leg?

-There's nothing to talk about.

I cut myself shaving.

Four bucks.

-Four bucks? I thought it was on the house.

You spilled the last one.

-Perhaps the silver lining of the super storm

is that it has driven away

the recent influx of sharks in our area.

-Yeah I hope it does. Hope it does.

I hope the storm kills 'em. I hope it kills them all.

-Me too. You have no idea.

[Thunder rumbling]

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-♪ I get around ♪

♪ From town to town ♪

♪ Up down, turn around, I'm gonna take you down ♪

♪ We'll need the best ♪

♪ I am the best ♪

♪ I'm a man-eating cheater with no regrets and you're next ♪

-[Laughs] Tired already?

-When's the last time you short boarded, old timer?

-I never stopped. I just like this one rides.

-Yeah. Whatever.

All right, Grandpa. I'm gonna show you how it's done.

-Grandpa?

-Show her how it's done, Grandpa!

♪ I will tear you ♪

♪ I will tear you down ♪

-Come on. Oh!

♪♪

Deanna, there's a shark!

[Deanna screams]

Hey, get out of the water!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Deanna screaming]

♪♪

[Deanna continues screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

-Sharks!

Hey! Get out of the water!

Sharks! They're coming in!

Get off the beach!

Get out of the water! Sharks!

Get out of the water!

-[Screams]

♪♪

-Sharks! Everyone out of the water right now!

[Swimmer screams]

Everyone out of the water now! We're evacuating the beach.

Everybody off the beach immediately.

-Ah!

[Screaming]

-Help! Help!

♪♪

♪♪

-Come here you bloody shark! Come on!

♪♪

[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

[Screams]

-Baz!

Baz!

[Screaming]

-Aah!

-Climb back, bud.

Keep pressure above it. I'm gonna get you in.

♪♪

[Screaming]

-These sharks of yours have got no etiquette.

-Etiquette?

I thought you were Australian, not British.

-Tasmanian, buddy.

-Just hang on, I'll get you in.

-Ow.

♪♪

[Screaming]

-[Screams]

-[Grunts]

-What were you thinking? You could have been killed.

-I'm fine. -Aah!

-We need a tourniquet.

-Here, here, use this.

-It's just a -- a little nibble.

Aah!

-Are you okay? Are you sure?

-He must have wanted a snack.

[Nova laughs]

-Sharks don't like Vegemite.

-It's not funny. Aah.

♪♪

-Hey. You gonna be okay?

-Yeah. I'm fine.

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-And so the main characters shelter in place in a bikini bar

in Santa Monica because, hey, nothing can happen to them

when you're 20 feet from the ocean

and there's hurricane coming in.

-Yuki got the hook up. We have Anthony.

-Oh, really? -Yeah.

-Put me on with him. Put me on with him.

Anthony?

-Joe Bob, nice to be on your show.

I've been banned forever.

-Good to see you. What are you doing in Mexico

on the 10th anniversary of "Sharknado"?

-After destroying cinema with six "Sharknado" movies,

they only allow me to shoot in Mexico with this.

So that's all I have.

Action.

-Okay, Anthony.

Well, we're tracking the original "Sharknado" from 2013,

and we need to know where it ranked, that hurricane,

on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane wind scale.

We need to know that precise number.

You got that for us?

-Precise? Not so much.

Probably four, but considering there's sharks in it,

I'll give it a category five.

-Okay. Category six. That's what I thought.

-Of course you would say that.

-Okay, hang loose, man.

I'll have more questions for you in a minute.

Congratulations on that beach kill at the 11-minute mark.

You looked great in the mouth of that shark.

We always honor directors who personally contribute

to the body count.

All right, in order to know how the miracle of "Sharknado"

occurred, you're going to need a little background

on Asylum Films.

This is a company formed by three guys in 2002,

actually two guys and a woman, to make cheap movies,

and I mean really cheap movies.

And the first one was "King of the Ants",

directed by Stuart Gordon, starring George Wendt.

Stuart Gordon remains, 21 years later,

the most famous director they ever used.

The magic starts when Asylum hooks up with Syfy Channel,

and then the magic doubles when Syfy hooks up with sharks.

First there was "Ghost Shark", then there was "Sand Sharks",

and then there was "Dino Shark."

"Ozark Sharks", "Two Headed Shark Attack."

"Three Headed Shark Attack" and "Five Headed Shark Attack."

What the hell happened to "Four Headed Shark Attack"?

I couldn't follow the series.

You know, it didn't exist then, and it doesn't exist now.

And I still feel cheated.

These were followed by "Sharktopus vs. Whale Wolf",

"Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark", "Sharktopus",

"Jersey Shore Shark Attack",

"Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus."

And who could forget "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus"?

I mean, Asylum wasn't limited to sharks.

They would occasionally do some art house films

like "Asteroid-a-Geddon" or "Sex Pot."

You know, that was a stoner movie.

It was filmed in three, triple D.

That's what they filmed it in.

-We like that. -And you remember

when Steven Spielberg's "War of the Worlds" came out?

Well, shortly before it came out,

the Asylum movie "H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds"

came out.

They went ahead, and they just put

H.G. Wells name in front of "War of the Worlds" on theirs,

even though it was written and directed by David Latt,

one of the three partners in Asylum.

This was in 2005, and they sold 100,000 copies

of that baby to video stores, and a business model was born.

You've heard of "Snakes on a Plane."

Asylum made "Snakes on a Train."

You've heard of "Transformers"?

Asylum made "Transmorphers."

Do you remember when the big budget remake of

"The Day The Earth Stood Still" came out?

Asylum made "The Day the Earth Stopped."

[Laughter]

But their bread and butter,

day after day, year after year, was made possible

by the introduction of the Syfy original movie.

Syfy started making the Syfy original movie in the year

2000, and by 2016, there were 300 of those,

and lots of those were produced by Asylum.

I'll tell you more at the next break.

But right now, we've got a shark front coming in from the west.

Roll it.

Have you ever been a surfer girl, Darcy?

-I have not.

-But you are a bikini girl.

-Yeah, from, like, the time I was 3 years old. Yeah.

-Well, a lot of those initial shark victims were bikini girls.

It's sad.

-It is. But I'm team shark.

-You're team shark?

Even if they're eating bikini girls and surfers?

-Yeah. -Darcy, you are brutal!

-Yeah.

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

-Hey can I get some of those tasty nuts though?

Thank you.

-And then -- Are you listening?

And then the shark opens it's mouth.

Goes to swallow Fin whole, but Fin looks at the shark.

Do the look.

No, do the look.

-Oh, my God.

-Yeah, that one.

And the shark goes, "You know what? I'm pissing off.

I'm not gonna mess with the world champion surf legend,

Finley 'the Fin' Shepard."

Ain't that right?

On you, mate.

-I don't believe it. You guys are nuts.

-Look. Do you see that?

-Oh, yeah. -It's a little nibble.

-So he gives him a look, and you give him a nibble and they --

-No, he gave me a nibble.

-I don't know.

Are you guys going back out there and do any swimming?

With the sharks?

-It's the storm.

It's what's driven them all up north.

Eventually, they'll go back from they came from.

I hope. But they were knocking.

-Yeah. Knock, knock, knocking on your door.

And I never seen so many of them, nor so bold.

-It's just a storm. Just got to stay out of the water

for a couple days, that's all.

-Just a storm?

Looks like a hurricane.

-I'm just happy you're okay.

-Hey, hey, what are you doing?

-What? Do you think you're too old for me?

-No, I'm your boss.

-So?

-So? Go get back to work.

-Hey! I'm not too old for ya.

I don't think.

And I'm not your boss. Two out of three.

-Daddy issues.

Hey! I'm not judging you, darlin'.

Ouch!

I have daddy issues, too.

-Here's to issues. -Yeah!

-Who's is this?

[George laughs]

-Hurricane David is poised to be the first hurricane

to hit the state of California.

And it is now barreling toward the Santa Monica shorelines.

We have suffered tropical storms in the past,

but we have never been hit by a storm quite like this.

Wide-spread flooding is expected,

and experts are saying global warming is the reason

for this unprecedented event.

We will be back with more news as it develops.

[Thunder rumbling]

[Telephone ringing]

-Hello. Wexler residence.

-April. It's Fin.

-Yeah, Fin, I know your voice. What do you want?

-Look, I'm just calling to make sure...

When did you go back to using Wexler again?

-[Laughs]

-'Cause that's my name.

Look, Fin, I'm really busy.

-I'm just calling to make sure you and Claudia are okay.

There's a bad hurricane rolling in, and I want --

-Is this about money?

Because if this is about money Fin, I told you already that --

-It's the storm. I just want to make sure guys are okay.

-Of course we're okay. It's barely even raining.

Look, it's really sweet that you're calling

to check in on us, but Collin already checked the drains,

and we're gonna be fine.

They're cleared out.

-Well, it's flooding here and not the plumbing. The ocean.

I think you guys should get out of town.

-What are you talking about? We're 100 miles from the ocean.

-You're exactly 6.6 miles from the ocean.

And on a day like today, it's not far enough.

I'm gonna take you and Claudia further inland.

-And what about Collin?

You know, you're not the only one that can keep us safe.

We're not going anywhere.

-Fine. Then let me just get Claudia.

We'll make it my week for the month.

-Is that what this is about?

-No! -Look you are gonna see her

on the 20th like you always do.

I got to go, okay? Bye, Fin.

-Who was that?

-My wife.

-That was his wife. Yeah, his wife.

-Shut up, Baz.

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-All right, everybody, listen up.

I'm closing the restaurant.

Storm's coming, and it's coming fast.

Get home safe, everybody.

Don't forget taco Tuesdays.

George, you got to get out of here.

-What's going on?

-If I don't secure the bar, I'm going to lose everything.

-Come on, George. George, wake up. Let's go.

-Oh! I hear an angel, I must be in heaven.

-George, wake up, or I'm calling in your bar tab.

-Oh, I'm up. I'm up.

[Thunder rumbling]

[Waves crashing]

-Hey, hey, you need to go home.

-I'm not going anywhere. -This is not your problem.

-No! It is my problem.

Because if this bar gets blown over,

then I'm out of a job, too.

-Yeah, and I'm not gonna have any place to drink.

-Can't argue with that one.

[Window shatters]

[Patrons screaming]

♪♪

[Whimpering]

[Thuds]

♪♪

♪♪

-For an environmentalist, you sure do hate sharks.

-I've got fire power behind the bar. Come on, come on!

All right, grab a weapon.

Grab anything you can find to defend yourself.

-Give me something dangerous.

-Can I get one for the road, Fin?

Huh? What?

-Come on let's go, let's go, let's go!

-George, get your ass up! Now!

-All right.

[Waves crashing]

[Screaming]

[Thunder crashing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Stool thuds]

-Come on, kid.

Don't you ever make fun of my stool again.

♪♪

♪♪

[Shark growling]

-Come on, come on.

-Shoot it.

[Gunshot]

That's what you get for trying to eat me.

[Ferris wheeling squeaking and crashing]

-Ah!

♪♪

-Come on, come on, guys. Let's go.

[Ferris wheel rumbling]

♪♪

♪♪

-We are here live at the Santa Monica Pier.

This is what remains after the massive storm

tore through this popular attraction.

The waves also brought in sharks

which have injured dozens and killed several people.

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

[Helicopter chuffing]

♪♪

-We'll rebuild, mate.

Insurance will cover it.

-L.A. wasn't built for all this much water.

I'm really worried about Claudia and April.

I got to check on them.

-I'll come with you.

-April doesn't like you, remember?

-Nah, mate. She doesn't like you, remember?

She loves me.

Where do you think Claudia came from?

-Who's Claudia?

-His daughter.

-You have an ex-wife and a daughter?

-I can drop you at home if you want.

-I live on the beach. It's obviously flooded.

Nowhere else to go.

[Sirens blaring]

-Looks like we're all refugees now.

-[Sighs] I want to go with you.

Make sure your family is okay.

[Thunder crashes]

-Anybody see George?

George?

-Here he is.

-Oh, man. I'm glad you woke me up.

I was having the worst nightmare.

♪♪

[Horns honking]

♪♪

♪ Weatherman says, "Don't go out tonight" ♪

♪ Weatherman says, "Things don't look right" ♪

♪ Weatherman says, "Accelerated winds" ♪

♪ Weatherman says, "It's happening again" ♪

♪ Weatherman says, "It's all going down" ♪

♪ Weatherman says, "We're okay for now" ♪

-Gosh, the water is raising.

-Water's not going to be a problem.

All the electronics have been sealed with silicone.

We'll be fine.

I've driven this thing on the beaches

from here to Costa Rica.

[Car thudding]

-Wh-why is the car shaking?

-What the hell? There's sharks in the streets.

-These fish surely do have a hankering for me.

It's like one taste of Baz just isn't enough.

-Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up with the guns.

We don't need more blood in the water.

-That's a tiger shark.

-How do you know that?

-Shark Week.

Where'd it go?

-Where did it go?

♪♪

[Car thuds]

Aw, geez.

-[Grunts] -Hey!

♪♪

[Duck quacks]

-It's under the car.

-Jesus.

-Well, can I start shooting now?

-Yeah. Do it.

-We got to get to higher ground. -The freeway. Take the freeway.

It's way above street level.

You take the 10 to the 405, you're almost in Beverly Hills.

And there's no way the ocean has washed inland that far.

-What makes you an expert on Beverly Hills, George?

-That's where I live.

-George, if you live in Beverly Hills, how come you come

all the way to the coast to drink at my bar?

-I don't know. I like the view, you know.

There's a beach, and there are all these scantily clad women

there who pretend to like me if I buy them a drink.

And there is my seat. My chair. My chair is always there.

-Plus, you don't charge $15 a plonk.

-[Laughs] Yeah.

Plus there is the beautiful Nova there,

whom I'm planning to marry soon.

If she'll have me.

I mean, I sit around and think about it

most night and day --

-Dream on, George. -Everywhere I go. [Laughs]

[Thunder rumbling]

[Horns honking]

-[Tires screech] -Fin!

-Hey!

-Bloody hell.

-That's the 405.

-I hate the 405.

-What are these idiots doing?

-Yeah, just go around them.

-You need to back up. I need to get out of here!

-Get back in your car. It's not safe out here.

-It's just a little water.

Typical Californians, afraid of the rain.

-Yeah.

-Stop! -[Horns blaring]

Watch it, will ya?

[Water crashing]

-Oh, my God.

It's like Old Faithful.

-We're gonna need faith to get through that.

-The water is raising behind us.

♪♪

-What, what, what?

[Man screaming]

-I just can't sit back and watch this.

-What?

-The sharks are swimming right at them.

They're not gonna make it.

-Don't even think about it. -They're not gonna make it.

-Fin! Where you going?

The sharks are falling from the freakin' sky.

-No, no, no, no.

-Oh! Here we go again.

-Nova!

-There's sharks out there. You don't have to go out there.

There's absolutely no reason to go out there.

[Screaming]

♪♪

-Everyone needs to get to higher ground!

-Puppy!

Somebody help me! Help me get my dog out!

♪♪

-Seriously! Go, go, go!

♪♪

-Please. It's okay, baby.

Please help!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Go! Go!

Somebody help!

-Okay. You go!

[Glass shatters]

Okay. I got you, princess, come on.

There you go.

[Dog barking]

-Come on, George.

George! Come on, George!

George!

-Oh, Crap!

Ow! Get off of me!

[George screaming]

-It's not gonna end.

The flood channels, the storm drains, the sewers.

It's not gonna stop at the coast.

They're going to swim everywhere.

Come on. Get in the car.

♪♪

♪♪

We've got to go through this.

-What?

-You've got kangaroos loose in the paddock, mate.

We can't go through that.

The aerodynamics in this car cannot match the waves.

-The waves are only gonna get bigger

when the storm get closer.

Trust me, if there is one thing I know, it's timing waves.

-That's what I was afraid of.

-They come in sets of three.

One.

Two.

Three.

[Tires screech]

[Waves crashing]

-[Screams]

-Whoa.

-Everybody okay?

-I'm all right. -10 fingers. 10 Toes.

-Yeah.

♪♪

[Thunder crashing]

-Ugh, got to love L.A.

-What are these people thinking?

-Nothing.

-We've had unsubstantiated reports

of sharks swimming in the streets

and falling from the skies.

Yes, I actually said --

-Does April know you coming?

-No.

But at least we'll be in the hills away from the flooding.

-All right.

It's awfully nice of you

to let her new boyfriend stay in your house.

-Don't remind me.

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Unbelievable.

We're almost at the house.

-That's too bad.

I was hoping it was further up the hill.

[Shark splashes]

[Tires screech]

-April! April!

Hey, let us in.

-No. What are you doing here?

And what happened to him?

-Nothing. Your Fin save my life.

-He's not my Fin anymore.

And who is she?

-It's Nova. She works at the bar.

Now, will you let us in.

-No! I told you not to come.

Now just go away.

Take your little stripper friend and Baz and leave.

[Sewers gush]

[Gunshot]

-Nice shot!

-By the way, I'm not a stripper.

-Claudia!

-She doesn't want to talk to you.

-Claudia!

-Dad, what are you doing here?

-There's a big storm coming in. It's not safe here.

-I'm not going anywhere with you. Just leave.

-I didn't come here to argue with you.

-I don't care! -I came here to get you.

-What is all the ruckus?

-Aw, Shepard.

Should have figured it was you.

What are you doing here?

-L.A. is drowning.

I'm going inland. I'm taking my family with me.

-Finley. April is mine.

-Excuse me?

-My girlfriend is not your responsibility.

And unless it's the 20th of the month,

which currently is not, neither is Claudia.

-Collin, don't be rude. He's just worried about us.

-Every time it rains in L.A.,

everyone swears it's the storm of the century.

-And even if it is, Beverly Hills emergency services

are second-to-none.

-[Chuckles]

-We're safe here.

-There are sharks flooding the streets.

And now there's one swimming in your pool.

-Are you kidding?

Sharks in the swimming pool is impossible,

[Screams] -Collin!

[Electricity buzzing]

♪♪

[Screaming]

-Something's on my foot!

Finley, help me! Finley!

-Watch out!

[Screaming]

-Collin!

-Help me! It's getting away!

-Collin!

-I've got your back.

Get it's nose.

[Grunting]

-Die, already!

[Screaming]

-It's coming back!

-No! -Oh, my gosh!

Fin!

-Ready?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Screaming]

-Fin!

[Shark roars]

-Where'd it go?

-Where'd it go? -Go, go, go!

-Oh, my gosh! Where is it?

♪♪

[Gunshots]

[Grunting]

-Fin, hurry up. Get over here.

-Nice shot.

-Thanks.

-Looks like it's that time of the month.

-Look!

We're out of ammo.

-The eye of the storm still hasn't come to shore yet.

It's gonna get a lot worse before it gets any better.

We got to get inland.

We got to get some place safe for all of us.

-Where?

-I'm thinking the desert.

-No, we have to go to Van Nuys to get Matt.

-Matt's in flight school there.

-Matt's at flight school?

I thought he was vacationing in Tampa with his buddies.

When did this happen? I just talked to him.

How come nobody tells me these things?

I'm suppose to be included in these conversations.

-He wanted to tell you,

but Collin said it was none of your business anymore.

-Who's Matt?

-My brother.

-You have a son, too?

-All right.

We got to get out of here quick.

-How are we going to do that?

-I'm gonna push the shark out of here.

I'm gonna distract it.

When I do this, get to the car as fast as you can.

Now!

♪♪

♪♪

[Shark roars]

♪♪

-He'll be okay.

Fin!

♪♪

-Come on, get in!

-Move it! Move your ass!

[Engine starts]

[Glass shattering]

-Go, go, go!

[Tires screeching]

[Water rushing]

♪♪

[House rumbles]

-Easy come, easy go.

[Static crackles]

-All right. Does Yuki still have Anthony on the feed?

-Yeah. -All right.

So, Anthony, I have two questions for you, buddy.

Numero uno. You have John Heard in the movie!

You got him built up, really sympathetic,

grabbing his bar stool, using it as a weapon

because it's the only object he loves, you know?

Why do you kill him off so early?

It's John Heard!

John Heard agreed to be in an Asylum movie!

-Look, we love John Heard.

When he was cast, I was so excited.

I'm a fan of a lot of his movies.

And as we kept shooting the movie, all the ad libs

and all those great things that he added were like,

"We got to keep George around long enough."

And I lobbied to keep him around

until the house where the shark attacks.

And it just was too late.

And I just feel regret that we couldn't have more of him

in the movie.

But rest in peace, John Heard.

You knew "Sharknado" was going to be something.

And that makes you even cooler than you already were.

-And one more thing you have to explain, Anthony.

When the survivors are in Tara Reid's house in

Beverly Hills and there's all this blood in the water

running through the house, who wrote the line,

"Looks like it's that time of the month"?

[Laughter]

-That line wasn't in the script.

And we were in ADR with Jaason Simmons, who plays Baz,

and he just said it off the cuff, and we laughed,

and we go, "Oh, that was funny."

And then we moved on, and then we go,

"Should we put that line in the movie?"

And there was a moment where we're like,

"Yeah, that's too much. It's never going to survive."

It survived.

-I mean, really?

Okay, that's all for now. We'll be back in a minute.

Anthony C. Ferrante,

the director of the classic "Sharknado."

He grew up in Antioch, California,

and he's one of those self-made directors

who ought to be an inspiration to all you guys out there

who write to me and say,

"Where should I go? I want to be a director."

Don't go anywhere. Start directing.

Antioch is this little town in the Bay Area.

Anthony had no connections to the film industry,

but about the age of 11,

he decided he wanted to make movies.

But there's no way to study film

when you're in elementary school.

So he just read everything he could find.

And then when he entered Antioch High School,

he heard about a film course at Los Medanos College.

Now Los Medanos College has no film department,

but they had a few film courses, so he went there for two years

just so he could take every film course that they had.

And he also took every journalism course that they had.

And the reason he went into journalism

is that he used those journalist credentials

to interview filmmakers.

He wrote articles for Fangoria. He worked for the local paper.

And in fact, he eventually became the official film critic

for the Antioch Ledger Dispatch.

They did have film courses at San Francisco State,

so he enrolled there after getting his associate's degree

at Los Medanos.

And then after he got that degree,

his second degree, he headed for L.A.

and he hooked up with Asylum pretty quick,

and he started doing stuff in the FX department.

If you hang around Asylum,

you start learning how to make movies for virtually nothing.

They spend virtually nothing on them,

and you make virtually nothing working for them.

And it was that skill that got him his first directing gig

on a version of Hansel and Gretel that they did.

Now I'm going to give you the inside skinny

on how "Sharknado" happened at the next break.

But I also want to mention that the lead role,

the guy they wanted for the lead role was Steve Guttenberg.

But he turned it down. -Aw.

-And that's why Fin,

the ex pro surfer with the ex-wife problems

and the girlfriend problems is played by Ian Ziering.

Ian was best known before "Sharknado"

for being the major heartthrob Steve Sanders on

"Beverly Hills 90210."

Did you have a crush on him?

-No. -No. Okay.

He was on the show for the whole 10 year run,

but he did lots of TV, he did Broadway.

He was in the national tour of Peter Pan.

He did soap operas.

He was a regular on "The Guiding Light."

And today he does big budget animation work,

a lot of voice work.

But he is perfect for this.

A take charge guy who's not too macho, you know?

Do you like Ian Ziering as Fin?

-I love him. He's amazing.

-All right. What about John Heard as the bar fly?

-Also amazing. I agree with you.

I really wanted him to survive.

-Yeah, well, he's dead.

People drop dead fast in this movie.

But then again, so do the Sharks.

So let's get back to the story.

Roll it.

Where would you go in a Sharknado?

If a Sharknado happened today, where would you go?

-Online, so I could share, like, videos and shit.

-[Laughter] -You would not.

You wouldn't just go online.

-I doubt I would go anywhere.

I'd just hang and enjoy.

-What if you're -- I mean, you live --

Don't you live on the side of a mountain?

-Kind of, yeah. -What if your house slid

down the side of the mountain?

Now, where are you going to go?

-I mean, I'd make some sweet footage as it was going down

and then head over to the Roosevelt.

-Roosevelt Hotel? -Yes.

-In downtown Hollywood? -It's my favorite.

-You don't remember what happens

to the Roosevelt Hotel in this movie?

-I'd get one of the low floors.

Obviously.

-Darcy, the mail girl, always prepared.

-You know what, baby?

[Static crackles]

-The eye of Hurricane David

is continuing it's relentless pounding

through the streets of Los Angeles.

And most surprisingly and most shocking,

reports have been pouring in from all over

that sharks have been washing ashore.

Live sharks.

And not only from the coastal flooding

but they are coming up through the drains

and sewage systems of the city of Los Angeles.

Nothing like this have ever been seen --

-Do you always have this much ammo in your jeep?

-Semper peratus.

-Dad, are you really saying that right now?

Can't you be serious?

-It means...

-Always be prepared.

-Thank you.

I always thought it would be an earthquake

that would be the end of Los Angeles.

-Or a meteor shower. Zombies even.

-Yeah. -Black Plague. Aliens.

But sharks? Come on.

-Yeah.

Yeah. Go figure.

My love, sharks.

-Yeah, your luck. Sharks.

-Mine too.

[Sighs]

-I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of hot when you do that.

-[Chuckles]

-Again, we will keep yo updated on this storm.

This is Joni Waves. That's Joni with an "I."

-[Emergency tones blare] -Call Matt.

-This is the emergency alert system.

National Weather Service has issued a tornado warning

throughout Los Angeles County.

Water spouts have been detected in the coastal waters

from Orange County --

-No kidding. You're a bit late on that one.

-We got to get out of here fast.

-We got to go get Matt.

-The freeways will be a nightmare.

-But there's a short cut if you turn right up here.

That's how I always get around the Hollywood traffic

with my friends.

-What are you doing in Hollywood?

-Since when do you care?

-Hold on.

-The storm's dying down.

-How can you tell?

-Not as many sharks flying around.

♪♪

-Why are you stopping?

We have to go get Matt.

-Don't you see that? There could be kids in there.

-There's no one in there. And your kid is right here.

We have to get her somewhere safe.

This is so typical of you, Fin.

You care more about other people than you do your own family.

Let's go!

Please.

-I can't.

The water's raising.

I'm going to go up to the bridge and rappel down.

-Fin, this is crazy.

♪♪

[Bus rumbles, children screaming]

-All right, now. You guys calm down.

Okay? There's other grown ups coming, okay?

Uh, uh, Police Department, Fire Department.

They're going to get us out of this.

As long as we stay in here, we're going to be fine, okay?

Trust me. We're gonna be just fine.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Children screaming]

♪♪

-Anybody in there?

-Whoa! Whoa! Be careful.

♪♪

♪♪

-Need a lift?

[Children cheering]

-I'm glad to see you.

-Send the rope.

♪♪

-I reached dispatch just before all the electronics went out.

They said someone from 911 is sending someone over.

-Oh, yeah? Want to wait for them?

-Hell no! -I didn't think so.

Who's first?

Okay, come over here.

♪♪

[Shark splashing]

All right, Samantha, you're going to be all right.

-Start pulling. They're ready.

-All right, you ready? Just keep looking up.

It's gonna be fine, Samantha.

Here we go.

Okay, Lift her up!

-All right, here we go Samantha.

You're going to be all right.

Go ahead.

-Come on, come on. -You got this.

-Quicker, quicker, let's go.

♪♪

-Yes! Yes!

-All right, pull 'em up!

You're doing already. You're doing good.

Don't be afraid.

-Come on. Hold on tight.

-He's up. -Yeah. All right.

-All right. Who's next?

♪♪

-A bunch of little kids went up before me.

How hard can it be, right? [Chuckles nervously]

-Let's go. -All right.

-Go over there. Come on, sweetheart.

Your dad's trying to do good here.

Give him a hand.

-Are you sure this thing is strong enough to hold me?

-Nope, I'm not. -Great.

-But I'm sure not looking forward

to going in there after you.

-Yeah. I hate sharks.

I'm from Wyoming.

You know, [Laughs] I moved down here to be an actor.

[Laughs]

-Dad!

[Screaming]

[Grunting]

-I would like to go up right now! Please!

-Go up! Up, up, up!

-Come on! -Oh, God!

15 grand a year. No benefits.

Screaming kids.

[Screams]

-Calm down. It's okay. Don't panic.

-I use to hate heights.

Now I'm away from sharks, this is great!

♪♪

♪♪

-Okay, let's do this now before I become hot lunch.

♪♪

-Watch out, Fin! -Oh, my God!

[Children screaming]

-Fin! -Watch out to the right.

Watch out! Watch for the sharks!

Oh, my gosh, be careful. Watch your foot.

Hurry, climb faster.

-[Screaming] -Oh, my gosh! Fin!

[Children screaming]

-Be careful, Fin! -Watch out!

-Hurry, hurry, hurry.

-Fin, come on! Watch out!

[Children gasp]

-I've had just about enough of you.

[Grunts]

[Shark growls]

-Be careful, Fin!

Come on. Come on.

You're okay. Oh, my gosh.

[Thunder rumbling softly]

-Finny, look at the sky.

The storm's clearing up. Maybe it's done.

-Good.

These guys are gonna get you home, okay?

Be safe.

[Wind Gusting]

Man. Oh, crap.

-Claudia, get in the Jeep!

-I'm fine, Mom.

-Get down! Get down!

[All screaming]

[Wind gusting]

-You all right?

-[Laughs]

You okay?

-My mom always told me Hollywood would kill me.

[Sign thudding and creaking]

[Static crackles]

-Killed by a letter in the Hollywood sign.

Which letter in the Hollywood sign killed him?

-I don't remember.

-You see. That's why we have Anthony on the line.

Hook me up.

Anthony? Is he on the line? Anthony?

Which letter of the Hollywood sign killed the bus driver?

That's Robbie Rist, by the way. Tell me about Robbie Rist.

I know he wrote several songs for the movie

besides playing the bus driver.

You always have to do nine jobs at Asylum.

[Laughter]

-Well, Robbie Rist and I have been friends forever,

and we've written tons of songs for various movies.

And on "Sharknado", we wrote the theme song

as well as a whole bunch of other tunes.

And because I love Robbie so much,

we wrote the bus driver part for Robbie.

And yeah, he had to die by the Hollywood sign.

And I would say that it's probably either the letter "H",

maybe, I think somewhere in there, or maybe "W."

We never really kind of decided exactly what it was,

but somewhere in there.

-Okay. He should have been killed by the letter "D."

Because that's the only letter in "Hollywood"

that's on the musical scale.

[Laughter]

-Okay? -But, you know what?

He died by Hollywood sign. That should be enough.

-You should consult with me before you do these things.

[Laughter]

And is it true that you didn't tell Tara Reid

the name of the movie, but somehow

she found out the name of the movie and she was pissed?

-Well, let's be clear. It was more than just Tara Reid.

It was almost the entire cast, except for John Heard.

Now, the movie's working title was "Dark Skies",

but we always knew it was going to be called "Sharknado."

And no one wanted to be in a movie called "Sharknado",

so they called it "Dark Skies" to get these people in the film.

And so I had to kind of explain it.

They kept going, "Well, call it this, just call it that."

And I said, "All these movies have alternate titles."

But I did say if they do call it "Sharknado",

it will be a good thing.

And I think at that point, everybody called

their managers and agents to try to get out of the film.

The movie came out, and it was a good thing,

and we did six movies, so.

-Wow. Okay. Guerilla filmmaking.

They didn't tell anybody the name of the movie.

-Guerrilla filmmaking at its finest.

Be back in a minute, Anthony.

So here's how "Sharknado" happened.

Anthony Ferrante was working on a movie

called "Leprechaun's Revenge."

-Ooh, I love that one. -Yeah?

You love all the "Leprechaun" movies.

-I know. -So Anthony and his

writing partner were putting different combinations of words

together to get some Asylum title ideas,

and they came up with "Sharknado."

But it sounded so ridiculous they just decided to make it

a joke in "Leprechaun's Revenge."

So one of the characters in the movie says something to

the effect of, "Remember that Sharknado?

We don't want that to happen here.

They never lived it down over there

in that next town," you know?

So I guess somebody at Syfy saw the line,

remembered the line, thought about it,

and they called up Asylum, and they said,

"We would like a movie called 'Sharknado.'"

Now, that's not uncommon.

They just call up Asylum and give them the title,

and then Asylum writes the script.

-I know. I know. -You've worked with them.

So Asylum gives the assignment to Thunder Levin,

one of the regular writers.

But he doesn't understand what they're saying.

He thinks they're saying "Shark-NATO."

Like the North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

And so he envisions a story

where sharks are fighting European soldiers.

But then he starts -- they straighten him out.

He starts working on the script.

He turns in a first draft, and this note comes back

from Asylum that just says, "This is not a fucking comedy."

That was the whole note.

Asylum does not like camp.

They do not like self-aware movies.

They like everything played straight.

And so they had just lined out

all the jokes he made in the script.

So, okay, he's used to it, you know?

So he he went back to work. He turned in another draft.

And now he gets notes that come back from Syfy.

And their notes are, "This should be funnier."

[Laughter]

So this is actually the main formal problem

you have when you write a "Sharknado" movie.

Has to be amusing, but it has to be amusing

because you're not trying to be self-aware.

It has to be amusing because of the story.

The jokes have to come naturally out of the characters.

Anyway, so Anthony Ferrante is in the Asylum office one day,

and he just happens to see the Thunder Levin script

on somebody's desk and he says, "Hey, 'Sharknado',

that's my idea.

That's what we put in 'Leprechaun's Revenge.'

Let me direct that."

So they say, "Well, okay."

So they asked Syfy about it, and Syfy says,

"No fucking way is he going to direct that.

This is an action film. Ferrante is a horror director."

But nobody else would direct a movie called "Sharknado."

So it fell back to Anthony Ferrante

to get it anyway.

And Thunder Levin ended up

writing all six "Sharknado" movies.

Now Thunder Levin, he's a New York University

film grad who made his directorial debut at Asylum

in 2008 with

"Mutant Vampire Zombies From the Hood."

-Nice. -And then he went on to direct

two of Asylum's major mockbusters --

"American Warships" in 2012.

They originally called an "American Battleship."

This often happens.

They called American Battleship, they get sued by the guys

making "Battleship", you know?

And then he directed --

so they changed it to "American Warships."

And then he directed "Apocalypse Earth" in 2013.

All right. Back to the movie.

What was the Asylum movie that you starred in, Darcy?

-[Laughs] -What was the name of it?

-It didn't star in it. I just got eaten.

-What was it called?

-You don't know. You don't even know.

-Something about a shark. -They make so many movies.

You know... -"Devil's Triangle"!

-"Devil's Triangle"? Okay.

And so, were you eaten by a shark?

-[Laughs]

I was eaten by a shark that got eaten by a hydra.

-You were eaten by a shark that got eaten by a hydra?

-Yes. -Okay.

They use a lot of CGI, don't they?

-Yeah. Maybe a little bit. -Okay.

-That's kind of disappointing, you know?

You know, when I first watched this,

I thought that was so brave of Asylum

to have all those sharks falling from the sky.

I figured that they had a net,

you know, on the ground where they could catch them.

But I'm kind of disappointed by the fact that they used CGI.

-I'm sorry. It's just it's movie magic.

-Oh.

Yeah, I know.

[Static crackles]

[Wind continues whistling]

-Start the engine.

[Engine starts]

-Is that good?

-Okay, Nova. Rev it.

Guys, it's flooding.

It's gonna be easier if we steal another car.

-Then steal another car.

-There's a small gas leak, but it should run for now.

[Wind whistling]

-What is that?

-It's a water spout.

Tornado over the ocean.

Water gets sucked up in the air and...

[Wind whistling]

-Are those sharks?

-Yeah. Come on, come on.

Close her up. Let's go.

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Oof.

[Roof thuds]

-What was that?

[Roof thudding]

[Thuds]

[All screaming]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

-What the hell? -Kill it!

-[Grunting]

-Kill it! Kill it! -This is crazy!

-Dad!

-Hit the brakes!

Get down, Claudia! Down!

[April screaming]

-This is unbelievable! -Hold on to the wheel.

Hold on to the wheel. -Watch out!

[Gunshot]

Bloody hell!

[Engine sputtering]

-Why did we stop?

-It must be flooded. -Well, fix it!

-Mate, I smell gas.

-I do, too. Come on.

Get out of the car! Get out of the car!

Go, go, go!

-The gun!

♪♪

[Explosion]

-Well, at least the rain is easing up a bit.

[Bell jingles]

-Can I use you phone, please?

-It's been dead for hours.

-Thanks.

-No problem.

-So what kind of name is Nova anyway?

-Oh, it's the kind of name you give yourself

when you don't like the person you used to be.

-Hey, um...

Look, I see the way you look at my dad.

He's just gonna break your heart,

like he did to my mom and I.

-It looks like the eye of the storm is over.

♪♪

Or maybe not.

-Hey, make it quick.

I don't want to spend too much time here.

-With these storms ravaging the streets of Los Angeles,

some religious officials are referring to this

as the opening signs of the impending apocalypse.

-[Chuckles] Apocalypse my ass.

This isn't the end of the world.

Gods, they're not angry with us.

The aliens aren't coming down.

It's the government.

-Yeah.

-With a big capital "G".

They're behind everything. They know what we buy.

They know what we eat.

When we go to the bathroom.

-Hurry. Hurry.

-They know what kind of cheese I like.

Pepper jack. They control it all.

And the weather, too.

I got to hand it to 'em though. Sharks. I never saw that coming.

-Yeah.

-Weather satellites are currently tracking

three off-shore water spouts over the Pacific Ocean.

Experts are categorizing this as an EF4.

With the potential to becoming an EF5 tornado

by the time it touches down on land.

In the San Fernando Valley, all roads are blocked

and movement -- -Protein.

I know how we're going to get out of here.

-You know we need a car first.

-Yeah.

-I've got it covered.

-Oh, nice!

♪♪

♪♪

-You're gonna need stitches and antibiotics,

and you're gonna have a hell of a scar.

-That's okay. Chicks dig scars, right?

-Why are you driving so fast?

-We got to get there fast before they clear the accident.

-What accident? --Something I saw on the news.

-Look out!

-[Horn blares] -Whoa!

-[Sirens blaring] -This is nuts.

-Now we're never gonna get to Van Nuys.

-Baz, Drive around it.

-I can't. It's blocked in every direction.

-We have to get Matt before the storm picks up again.

-I'm going for it. -[Engine revs]

-Are you crazy! Don't do it. -No! Go, go, go!

[Tires screech]

[Sirens wail]

-Pull your car over.

-Dad! The police are chasing us.

-Hey Baz? -Yeah?

-Stop your vehicle, now!

-Drive faster.

-No worries, mate.

[Engine revs]

Fast enough for ya?

-Yeah.

-Pull over to the side of the road.

[Sirens wailing]

Stop your vehicle now.

-Hey, Baz, is that a nitrous button?

-It certainly is, mate. -What do yo say we hit that?

-I'd give it a go. -Hold on, folks.

-Ah! -[Engine revs]

[Sirens wailing]

-Hold on to your panties, ladies.

-[Laughs]

-Oh, man!

-Whoo! -Hang on, will ya?

-Now, this is fun.

-I think we lost 'em.

-Now we're talking.

[Tires screech]

-Okay.

It should be smooth sailing from here.

-Why is there a retirement home next to an airport?

-Because old people can't hear?

♪♪

[Wind whistling]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-It doesn't look like they've left.

-All their cars are still here.

-I'm gonna go look upstairs.

-Okay. I'll check these rooms.

-Matt? Matt?

Does anybody see anything?

♪♪

♪♪

-Matt?

Matt?

[Wind whistling]

-It's time to leave Kansas, mate.

-There's no one up here.

-Where is everyone?

[Shelves rattle]

♪♪

[Object clatters]

♪♪

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

-No, no, no. I'm looking for Matt.

Is there a Matt here?

-Matt?

-Uh, yeah yeah. I'm Matt. Who are you?

-Guys, I found Matt, come on. Come here. He's in here.

-Matt!

-Dad? Mom?

What are you guys doing here?

-We had to come inland to avoid the storm.

-We came in to get you. -There's sharks everywhere.

-Sharks?

-Is this the best shelter you got?

-Look, we don't exactly have a storm cellar.

-We better find something to protect ourselves and quick.

-From what?

-They couldn't possibly make it all the way out here.

-They can. It's entirely possible.

A hurricane can pick up marine life out of the ocean

and drop it hundreds of miles away.

-Hold this.

-Yeah, he's right. It happened once near Alice Springs.

Hundreds of perch fell from the sky.

Why not sharks?

-Look, what the hell is going on here?

[Wall clangs]

[Roof creaking]

-[Screams]

-It's a sharknado!

-Let's get inside. -You've got to be kidding.

-Careful, careful. -Let's go.

[Wind rumbling and whistling]

-Ah!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Metal creaking]

-The news said there's three tornadoes in the area.

We're not safe here.

-What's the fastest way to get out of here?

-Could that fly?

-I don't know. Let me check.

-Looks pretty beat up.

-Hey you know what? She'll fly.

-We're not all gonna fit in here.

-We can't fly in these storms.

-Then what are we gonna do?

-We're gonna stand and fight.

We just wait here

and wait for sharks to rain down to us again.

We just need to arm ourselves

with something more powerful then these.

[Crowbar clangs]

-What were you thinking?

-That store's got everything we need.

Semper peratus.

-[Chuckles]

-They must have evacuated. -How are we getting in?

-Guys, stand back. I have a key.

[Gunshot]

[Static crackles]

-Okay, big question here, Anthony.

Fin has now found his wife.

He's found his daughter.

Now he's found his son at the Van Nuys Airport.

Why aren't they all just driving to Vegas?

Why are they sticking around?

Everybody's together.

-They're heroes. Heroes stick together.

They jump at the sharks together and then chainsaw their way out.

That what heroes do.

-Because they care about humankind, Darcy.

They care.

So I like the Nova character.

The take charge waitress who has a thing going on with Fin.

That actress is Cassandra Scerbo.

Born in New York, raised in South Florida.

A whole bunch of TV credits.

And then we have Baz Hogan, the Aussie.

Actually he's Tasmanian.

You still call him an Aussie if he's from Tasmania?

-I don't know. -Anyway, he works in both

countries, and he first came to prominence on "Baywatch."

And then Claudia, the daughter, is played by Aubrey Peeples.

She is a very accomplished singer.

She's performed at the Grand Ole Opry many times.

She played Layla Grant on the series "Nashville",

and she now lives in Orlando.

But she was a child actress, child musician.

Plays both country and jazz music.

Have you got any questions, Darcy?

-Well, why do they go to a liquor store?

-Why do they go to a liquor store?

In their flight to safety?

You know, it's a liquor store run by a conspiracy theorist.

So I think it's exposition.

I think, you know?

But one thing I do know. It's time to kick shark butt.

But you know what has to happen before that?

-What? -You got to have one of those

Rocky themed training sequences.

What do you call those? They have to load up...

-A montage. -...with weaponry.

Yeah, a montage.

I mean, if it's a "Rocky" movie, it's like training.

But if it's a "Phantasm" movie,

it's like you're loading up on these super weapons, you know?

What do you call those sequences?

It's more like -- it's like, assemble the squad,

check your weapons, people.

We're going in.

You've got to have one of those montage things.

So here it comes.

Back to the movie.

-Yay.

-You know, people make fun of this movie,

but if you accept the initial premise...

[Laughter]

-And I do.

-And I know that's a big ask, you know.

They really deliver a fairly compelling story.

Would you agree with me? -I would.

And are you complimenting the writers?

-I am complimenting the writers for once.

And the director. And that CGI lab at Asylum.

You know, it all comes together in one package,

and it's a good package.

-It is. -So we actually agree.

-We do.

-Don't look so surprised.

-It's the CHUD Light.

-Okay.

[Static crackles]

-Dad, I'll be right back.

I have an idea. Come with me.

♪♪

♪♪

-[Chuckles]

-Oh, nice! This is what I'm talking about.

Circulating saw, chainsaws, nice.

I like this.

Hey, do you think you can make this work?

-Yeah. I'll make it work.

-Good.

-Bombs. -Bombs?

-Somewhere around here's gasoline.

-Instead of letting live sharks rain down on people,

we are going to get in that chopper

and throw bombs into the tornadoes.

Blasting those bastards to bits.

-I like it, but how is that gonna stop a tornado?

-Tornadoes happen when cold and warm air meet.

Now, if you drop a bomb head right in the middle of it,

You might just equalize it.

But if you miss, we're screwed.

-Oh, hell no.

You got a death wish? No way!

-Dad, I'm the only one who can do it.

Bobby and Luellyn haven't even soloed yet.

-What's wrong?

-Your son wants to go into a helicopter

and drop a bomb into the tornado.

-No! It's too dangerous.

-Yeah. I'll watch his back. I'll be the bombardier.

-Then definitely not.

-Dad, we have a chance

to save thousands of lives, maybe more.

You always taught me to help others.

I'm going.

-He's right, April.

We'll work it out together.

I won't let anything happen to him.

-Don't you understand you could die, Matt?

-Mom, we don't have any other option.

And you're not gonna stop me.

-He certainly is your son.

-Shopping cart?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Claud?

Claud?

Hey! Come on. What are you doing down there?

What's the problem?

-You.

You're my problem.

-Are we really gonna do that now? Now?

-Look, what are you and mom doing?

You guys can barely stand to be in a room together for

five minutes, and now, what?

'Cause you are saving Matt, you guys are best friends again?

-He is my son.

-I'm your daughter.

You guys are always there for him,

and you're never there for me.

♪♪

-Hey, get that one.

-No, no, no. The other one.

-You don't think I try?

-Not hard enough.

-I came for you first.

Try to remember that.

Come on. Come on!

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey. I fell off a slide when I was 2.

It hurt like hell.

Now, people think it's cool.

-Nobody thinks this is cool.

-What happened?

-I had a tattoo removed.

I don't like to talk about it.

[Sighs]

I was raised by my grandparents.

When I was 7, my grandpa took me fishing

on one of those day charter deals with his friends.

We end up hitting into a reef, and the boat went down.

My grandfather took me

and put me inside this little life raft for safety.

Everyone else was kind of just swimming around

trying to stay up, and suddenly, all these sharks

just started swarming and...

and then they tried to protect me, but...

by morning, they were all gone.

So I floated out there for two days

until one of those coast guard helicopters

finally spotted me.

I thought I was safe, but suddenly this shark

just leapt up and bit my leg.

Six people went into the water, and one little girl came out.

The sharks took the rest.

They took my grandfather.

That's why I really hate sharks.

-Now I really hate sharks, too.

-[Chuckles]

-Nice work, kids.

But this, this is a bomb.

-[Chuckles]

[Static crackles]

-Okay, Anthony, one last question.

Tornadoes happen because warm and cold air meet,

so if you drop a bomb in the middle of the place

where they meet, it equalizes?

[Laughter]

I think there's more to a tornado than just

warm air meets cold air.

I think there's some other factors.

And I would also imagine that throwing a bomb

into the place where the cold air meets the warm air

doesn't do anything except stir up the warm

and the cold air and kill a lot of birds.

So would you like to explain yourself?

-Well, in 1974, in Kansas City,

the government was working on an experiment

to figure out how to maybe stop tornadoes.

So they decided to get 100 clowns.

They took those clowns, and they basically found the tornado,

and they shoved them in there, and within this tornado,

there was all this really blood and mayhem

because, you know, there's poles jamming into them

and you're hearing these horns honking

and the cries of a bunch of sad clowns.

And it just ended horribly. So they go, "You know what?

Let's throw bombs in there."

So of course, that kind of made sense.

So, yes, this comes from the government.

They tried clowns, so they use bombs, and the bombs worked.

No one told you that because you've got to go to the dark web

to find that information, which is where I go to fabricate

all these Sharknado movies.

But it's true. Just trust me.

-I have an explanation. -Okay.

-It's "Sharknado."

-See, she wins the prize because it's a Sharknado.

So we get to make the rules. -All right.

-Good enough for me. -Yay!

-Oh, of course we all remember where we were on the night of

July 13, 2013.

But the filmmakers themselves, they didn't know at first

what was happening right away because, you know,

they think they've made this little Asylum movie,

and all of a sudden, there's this firestorm on Twitter.

And it started, you know, who started the thing on Twitter?

Damon Lindelof.

You know, a lot of famous people tweeted that night,

but Damon Lindelof, who created --

he's a famous writer.

He created "Lost."

He created dozens of other blockbuster TV projects.

He tweeted that he was planning to write a sequel to "Sharknado"

and have it finished by the time "Sharknado" was off the air.

[Laughter]

-That's a good one. -And that kind of got

the conversation started.

Stephen King tweeted I think at some point that night.

And then, you know who tweeted a lot?

Mia Farrow started tweeting, you know, moment by moment

as she watched.

And then Lady Gaga chimed in,

and she started tweeting about it.

So within a few minutes,

it was at the rate of 5,000 Sharknado tweets per minute,

and a franchise was born.

Now, what's really strange is,

you know, they're looking at the metrics at Syfy on

you know, the next morning.

And they considered it an underperforming metric.

You know, the numbers for it were not that amazing,

but it had gotten all this media attention.

So it was not rating as high

as one of their usual movies of the week.

But then they ran it again,

and they ran it again, and they ran it again.

And every time they ran it, it got higher ratings.

It started out at 1.3 million people.

It went to 1.9 million.

The next time they showed it, it went to 2.1 million.

And the National Weather Service started joking around

with fake Sharknado warnings, and that helped make it popular.

And then the Red Cross incorporated it

into their warnings.

Ferrante and Levin, the director and the writer,

they went to David Latt at Asylum.

He's the big cheese.

You always have to go to him to get a project approved.

And he says, "Okay, when do we do the sequel?"

And he said, "There will never be a sequel to that.

You know, enjoy your 15 minutes. There will never be a sequel."

Well, there were five sequels, and both of them stayed to write

and direct all five of them.

All right, back to the movie.

It's a party movie.

-Yes, it is, man.

-Can you name all the sequels?

-Whoo, let's see.

"Sharknado 2: The Second One."

-Yeah. "Sharknado 2" colon "The Second One.

-Yes. -That was Kelly Ripa

and Michael Strahan and Matt Lauer.

They loaded it up with these daytime TV people.

I don't know why they thought that was --

That's the secret to "Sharknado" --

all these daytime hosts.

Let's put all them in it, and then it'll be bigger

than "Sharknado 1."

[Laughter]

All right. What else?

-I mean, of course, my favorite, "Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!"

[Laughter]

-Michael Bolton. Ann Colter.

Mark Cuban plays the President of the United States.

Bo Derek.

You know, originally in "Sharknado 3",

Donald Trump was supposed to play

the President of the United States,

but by the end, he was running for president.

-Oh, my God. -So they had to change it

to Mark Cuban.

-Wow. Anyway. Jericho, Jerry Springer.

-Right. -Remember?

-Okay. -Okay.

"Sharknado: The 4th Awakens."

-That was their super hero film.

-"Sharknado 5."

Perhaps the best title.

"Global Swarming."

-Right. And they pulled out all the stops on that one.

They went to Italy, Bulgaria, Japan.

-Wow. -They were all over the globe.

Fabio played the Pope.

[Laughter]

Dolph Lundgren has a flying Humvee.

Tara Reid becomes a cyborg in that movie.

-And the last Sharknado, "It's About Time."

-And that's a double meaning.

"The Last Sharknado: It's About Time"...

-It is. -...because they do time travel.

They go back to destroy the original Sharknado,

which it's a weather event.

How could you go back in time and destroy it?

Anyway. -Shut up, Joe Bob. It's great.

But the payoff scene in that one is a shark eats a T-Rex.

[Laughter]

Altogether, there are 540 minutes of Sharknado magic.

-And we need more. -In the can. Yes, we do.

Maybe. I don't know why Anthony stopped.

Why did he stop? -We'll ask him.

-All right. You should be in "Sharknado 7."

-Only if I don't have to kill any real sharks.

-You might have to kill sharks if you're in "Sharknado 7."

-I don't want to hurt them.

-You've really got a shark fetish.

-A fetish? Yes, I do.

-So you should cover your eyes right now

because it's going to get nasty.

-Not the shark!

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

♪♪

♪♪

-Dad, the tornado's coming.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey! Hey, what are you doing?

-In case things don't work out, we're going to move to plan B.

Baz builds a bigger bomb,

and drives into the center of the storm.

-That's not gonna work. It's a one-way trip.

Especially with that leg.

-You want to see me try? -No!

-Fin, look after your family. They're a good bunch.

It's fine.

♪♪

♪♪

-All right, do what you got to do.

-Don't I always?

I will.

♪♪

-Watch our backs.

-Be careful.

♪♪

♪♪

[Wind whistling]

♪♪

-All right, get ready.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Do we have enough bombs?

-I sure hope so.

First time on a chopper?

-Yeah.

-Scared?

-Hell no!

[Wind whistling]

Oh, crap.

Look at all those sharks!

♪♪

[Gun clicks]

-Look out! More sharks!

[Gunshot]

-What are we gonna do? -You got it, Dad.

-Oh, my gosh, there's just too many of them!

We're gonna need a bigger chopper.

I hope this bomb idea of yours works.

-Trust me. It will.

We're getting close. Get ready.

-Ready?

-Yeah. Bombs.

-Bombs. Bombs, bombs, bombs!

[Nova grunts]

-Careful with those, Robert.

[Wind whistling]

♪♪

♪♪

-All right, here's how you do it.

Open the valve.

[Canister hisses]

First tornado coming to the left here.

Push the button and hold it for three seconds.

We're gonna count.

-Okay. -One --

-Two, three. -Two, three

-Strike!

[Flare hisses]

-[Grunts]

[Wind whistling]

[Bomb explodes]

-Whoo! -Whoo-hoo!

-Whoo! [Laughs]

-Whoo! I did it! -Told ya!

That worked!

-Fin!

[Chainsaw revving]

-How's the front end looking, Bobby?

-I'm not a captain yet, sir.

-Bobby look out!

[Screams]

-Get down!

-Get down!

[Gunshots]

-The tornado's coming this way.

Baz!

-Second tornado! Second tornado!

-The tornado is heading towards the airport.

We need to destroy it before it get to them.

-[Grunts]

-Baz! Baz!

[Baz screaming]

-Dad! You have to leave him!

-It's getting closer. We have to go now, or we're dead.

-Okay, you tell me when.

[Wind whistling]

-Come on. Come on.

Let's go up there!

-Okay, people, everybody out of the pool.

Everybody needs to get out of the pool and inside.

Yes, Carl, that means you. Out now, please.

-This is Joni Waves, that's Joni with an "I",

reporting live as just one of these massive tornados

is about to tear through Hollywood

and is heading on course through the Valley

and on to Van Nuys.

It's about to tear through the city of L-- [screams]

[Gasping]

-Getting close to the second tornado.

-All right, I got another one.

-Press the button down for three seconds.

We're gonna count together. -Okay, okay, okay.

-All right. One, two, three.

Light it!

[Flare hisses]

-[Groans]

-Falling sharks!

[Gunshot]

[Electricity zapping]

-[Screams]

[Screams]

[Thuds]

[Wind whistling]

[Thunder rumbling]

-Oh, okay. -Come on.

-Come on, let's get them inside.

-Oh! Oh!

[Seniors chattering]

-Oh my God. Run! Run!

Honey, please. Come on, Honey!

-I can't run. I can't even walk!

[Indistinct shouting]

♪♪

♪♪

[Explosion]

-Whoo! -What is this?

♪♪

-All right. Third tornado.

-Look at the size of that thing.

-Just stay focused.

-It's show time! -I'm on it!

Got it!

[Canister hisses]

-All right. Strike it!

[Flare hisses]

[Bomb explodes]

[Nova screams]

-Who is that up there?

-That's my son.

-You must be so proud.

-Yeah. Yeah, I am.

-Its not working.

The bomb didn't land right.

-Hey! -We're out of bombs.

What do we do?

-I'll head back to base.

Turbulence is picking up.

-Oh, my God!

-The shark! The shark! -What are you doing?

-Watch out! Watch out! -I got this.

Get off me get off me!

[Grunts] Die already! Why won't you die!

[Nova screams]

-Oh! Oh, my God!

♪♪

No!

♪♪

♪♪

[Control panel beeping]

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Help!

-Matt!

Get everybody to safety.

-Come on, everybody! Let's get away from the window.

-Let's move. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

-Matt! Matt!

Matt! Matt!

Come on! Come here! Get out of here.

Come here. Come on.

-[Grunts]

[Wind whistling]

[Thunder rumbling]

-Are you all right? -Yeah. Yeah.

Where's mom and Claudia?

-They're on the hill. Where's Nova?

-She didn't make it.

-Go look after your mother and sister.

-Where you going?

-I'm gonna finish this.

[People screaming]

[Fire crackling]

[Wind whistling]

♪♪

[Engine starts, revs]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Rumbling]

[Tires screeching]

[Flare hisses]

♪♪

[Engine revs]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Bomb explodes]

♪♪

[Sharks snarling]

♪♪

[Sirens wailing]

-Move! Get out of the way!

-Daddy!

-Get out of there!

Get out of the way!

Claudia, move!

[Chainsaw revving]

-Fin!

-Dad!

[Panting]

Dad!

♪♪

-Oh, my God.

[Chainsaw revving faintly]

[Squelching]

-Dad?

[Chainsaw continues revving]

[Fin yelling]

[Retching, coughing]

-Dad!

[Grunting]

-Nova.

Come on.

[Grunts]

-Dad, are you okay? -Yeah. Yeah.

-Oh, my God.

♪♪

Breathe. Breathe!

Come on!

-[Coughing]

-[Laughs] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

-I really hate sharks.

Thank you! Thank you.

-You're welcome.

♪♪

[Seniors chattering]

♪♪

♪♪

-I never got your real name.

-Jenny Lynn.

-Nice to meet you, Jenny Lynn.

-[Chuckles]

♪♪

♪♪

-Hell of a day.

♪♪

♪♪

[Electricity crackling]

♪♪

-♪ Shark ♪

♪ Shark ♪

♪ Shark ♪

♪ Shark ♪

♪♪

♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Run away from the sharknado ♪

♪ It's your greatest foe, foe, foe ♪

♪ Don't want to get eaten by a sharknado ♪

♪♪

♪ By air, by land, by sea ♪

♪ I see that sharknado coming for me ♪

♪ I can't run, I can't hide ♪

♪ I just don't want to die ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Break and twist and you will shout ♪

♪ Those fish are gonna take you out ♪

♪ It's got teeth, it's got speed ♪

♪ Destruction is all it needs ♪

♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪

♪ Run away from the sharknado ♪

♪ Blood is gonna flow, flow, flow ♪

♪ Don't want to die in a sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Hammerhead's one scary guy ♪

♪ Mako's gonna make you cry ♪

♪ Thresher bites, bye, bye, bye ♪

♪ Great white's coming, open wide ♪

♪ Stormy weather, suicide ♪

♪ There's no place that you can hide ♪

♪ You can't stop it if you try ♪

♪ So, so, so, so, so, so, so ♪

♪ I'm gonna fight a sharknado ♪

♪ Bombs are gonna explode, 'plode, 'plode ♪

♪ We're all gonna die in the sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

-Shark!

[Static crackles]

-Best 15 minutes of action in the history of film.

Do you agree? -Absolutely.

-That last chainsaw escape from inside the shark -- genius.

Where he cuts himself out of the out of the shark.

-Yes. Actually. -All right.

Happy 10th birthday, "Sharknado."

-Sharknado! Sharknado! Sharknado! Sharknado!

Sharknado! Sharknado! Sharknado!

-Let's do it. Shark.

-Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Shark, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,

shark, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, shark,

-♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! ♪

♪ Run away from the sharknado ♪

♪ It's your greatest foe fo fo ♪

♪ Don't want to get eaten by Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ By air, by land, by sea ♪

♪ I see that Sharknado coming to me ♪

♪ I can't run, I can't hide ♪

♪ I just don't want to die ♪

♪ Sharknado, Sharknado, ♪

♪ Break and twist, and you will shout ♪

♪ Those fish are going to take you out ♪

♪ It's got teeth, it's got speed ♪

♪ Destruction is all it needs ♪

♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪

♪ Run away from the sharknado ♪

♪ Blood is gonna flow, flow, flow ♪

♪ Don't want to die in a Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Sharknado, Sharknado. ♪

♪ Sharknado ♪

♪ Oh ♪

-Sharknado! -Sharknado!

Yeah!

-That was the Sharknado theme by Quint, the band Quint.

[Laughter]

-Thank you, Joe Bob. Thank you, Darcy.

Thanks for having us on for the "Sharknado"

10th anniversary special.

-All right. Are we doing mail?

-We are.

-All right.

All right. Get Ahold of yourself, Darcy.

-Sharknado! -Yeah!

This came in from William H. Kirk of

Bentonville, Arkansas.

-Okay.

"So I remember hearing Joe Bob mention in an interview

once about the scene in 'Casino'

where he's called a momo by Robert De Niro.

But nobody seems to know what a momo is.

Well, I kind of do.

I like to think of it as my own head canon."

-Like it's what's real in his head.

-Oh. Oh, okay.

-I understand.

-All right. "But the momo is the Missouri monster.

It's their equivalent of Bigfoot.

It's my theory because of the Kansas City mob connection

in the movie that Bobby D. was calling him a big doofus ape

like a Bigfoot, a.k.a., a momo.

Anyway, I'm writing a book on ghost stories

and legends set in the Ozarks.

And I came across that legend and thought I'd pass along

the potential definition.

William H. Kirk. Bentonville, Arkansas."

Well, thank you, William.

I mean, the only thing wrong with that theory, though,

is that the word "momo" appears nowhere in the script.

That's just something that came into Robert De Niro's brain

while we were doing the scene.

The script was written by Nick Pileggi.

But even if it was in the script,

there's no indication that the real character

that the De Niro is based on

or De Niro had anything to do with Kansas City.

So that's just where his ultimate bosses were.

At any rate, I appreciate you giving it a college try.

But I want to see a picture of the Missouri monster.

I want to see a picture of the momo.

-I choose to believe there is a Bigfoot connection.

Thank you. -You do?

-And I want to see a picture of it, too.

-Okay. And that's it for me right now.

And for Darcy the mail girl, I'm Joe Bob Briggs,

reminding you that the only thing wrong with the gene pool

is there's no lifeguard.

Also, the drive in will never die.

So a guy's driving to the mall, and he drives around and around.

He's struggling to find a parking space,

and he can't find a parking space.

So finally he prays to God.

He says, "Lord, I can't stand this.

If you open up a space for me, I swear I'll give up drinking

and I'll go to mass every Sunday.

Suddenly the clouds part, a beam from the sun shines

directly on to an empty parking spot.

And the guy says, "Never mind. Found one."

[Laughter]

-I'm Sharknado'd out. I didn't follow that.

I'm sorry.

[Laughter]

Sharknado!

-Sharknado! -Sharknado! Sharknado!

Sharknado!