All language subtitles for The.Last.Drive-In.With.Joe.Bob.Briggs.S20E08.The.Muthers.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BFM_track3_[eng]

[Static]

Okay, welcome back

to the special
Mother's Day edition

of "The Last Drive-In,"

and, Darcy, I just wanted
some junk food tonight.

Go for it.

I mean, I know
you're probably not

a fan of this next --
Well, maybe you are a fan

of this next movie,
the way you dressed for it.

But there are days when you
get up in the morning

and you just go, "I just can't
watch 'Schindler's List' today."

That is me pretty much
every day.

But I got up recently
and I said,

"I'm gonna call Shudder

and ask 'em to go
through the library

and see if they can find
their very best

blaxploitation women-in-prison
jungle-gang-warfare

kung-fu pirate movie
shot in the Philippines

with at least four women with
big boobs in the lead roles."

It's just how I felt
that morning.

I mean, it happens.

So indulge me here
just a little bit.

The only reason
we're showing this one

is 'cause it's called
"The Muthers."

Okay, yeah.
That's true.Right?

But I've also wanted to show
a Cirio Santiago movie

for the longest time,
and this was my big chance.

Plus I really did feel
like I needed

a blaxploitation
women-in-prison

jungle-gang-warfare
kung-fu pirate movie shot

in the Philippines
with hot women in booty shorts

and tight shirts kicking ass
and swinging through the forest

on vines and killing Filipino
extras with machine-gun fire

when they weren't
taking showers.

I mean, that's the kind of day
it was.

I'm all for showing
all those genres.

I am just surprised
that you picked this one.

Get woke, Darcy.

This is a socially
ground-breaking picture.

Four African-American women
in the lead roles --

three "Playboy" centerfolds
and one Bond girl.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Okay. And like I say,
I needed junk food.

This one is pure bubble gum.

Actually I wanted
to ask you something.

Okay.

We're both in show bus--
Well...

We're in this little
Tasmanian island part

of show business
down by Antarctica.

I don't think Tasmania
is close to Antarctica,

but go ahead.Well, you know what I mean.

We're not exactly in the
mainstream of show business,

so a lot of stuff
happens to us.

True dat.

And there are two kinds
of friends when stuff happens.

Here's the first kind of friend.

You say, "I got the job!"

And they say, "Yippie!
Hooray! Alright!

Gimme five!

Dump some champagne
on that man's head!"

And then here's the second kind
of friend that you have.

You say, "I got the job!"

And they go, "Great."

Or, you know,
they go, "Good for you.

I know you wanted that."

You know the kind of "That's
great" that I'm talking about?

Oh, yeah.

Their mouth says, "That's
great," but their jaw says,

"How long do I have to hold
my mouth in this fake smile?"

You get the impression
they wanna leave the room,

go to some other planet.

In fact, when this happens
to me,

I start to feel embarrassed.

I start to apologize

for whatever good thing
just happened.

I'll say something like,
"Of course, I only got the job

because, you know, the other guy
didn't want the job," so...

You know, I'll lie.
I'll actually lie.

I'll make something up
because I'm trying

to make my friend feel better

about the fact
that I got the job.

That's so fucked up.I know.

I'm a sick individual
for doing that.

No, not you,
the so-called friend.

So you know what
I'm talking about, right?

Yeah, totally.

But here's the way you can
really tell the difference

between the two types
of friends.

Tell 'em some bad news,
like, "I lost my job."

And so, the first friend --
the normal one,

the one that goes "Yippie"
when you got the job --

will say, "Oh, that's terrible,
I'm so sorry to hear that."

But the second friend --

the one that went "That's great"
when you got the job --

that friend -- he will
double down on sympathy.

He'll go,
"Oh, no, that's terrible.

I'm here for you, man.
Anything you need.

I know how tough that can be..."

He'll go on and on and on.

They'll, like, wanna talk
about it for hours,

just reinforce it.

They'll come over to your house
to comfort you.

They'll give you money,
you know?

They'll do anything.

And so after a while, you start
to get weirded out by that,

and you start thinking

they kind of like it
when you have nothing.

They like it
when you lose stuff.

They like to hear about all
the 17,000 terrible things

that happen to you in your life.

And at times like that --
So here's my question.

When you're really weak
and you're feeling bad,

you tend to think that guy this
is the greatest friend

that you've ever had in your
life, right,

because he wants to spend
24 hours a day with you,

making you feel better,
But are they?

Nope.

No, because what if you
start succeeding again?

Exactly.So, bizarro, right?

It's just not healthy.

Did you lose a job?

Well, I lose lots of jobs.

But you didn't lose
thisjob, did you?

Not that I know of!

Okay. Well, then let's have
some junk food

and get on with it!

Alright. You never know, though.
I'm with you.

"The Muthers" is
the sensitive story

of a couple
of big-haired pirates

who run an otherwise
all-male gang

that attacks rich-guy yachts
and fences the loot

and takes it back
to their modest village

except when they have to fight
with a Turkish sadist

who thinks his own pirate gang
is tougher than them

and may be the person
responsible

for the head pirate's
missing sister

who according
to a government agent

has been taken to a slave camp

disguised as a coffee plantation
on a remote jungle island

where a prostitute recruited
by the authorities

to infiltrate the slave-camp's
sex-trafficking

and drug-smuggling ring

has resulted in
the disappearance of the hooker

and the need for
martial-arts-trained

female pirates to go undercover

and figure out
what happened to her,

not to mention finding
the missing sister

and bringing down the drug lord
and his slave-trader friends

while investigating primitive
working conditions

on the coffee plantation
that are so strict

the imprisoned female workers
on the coffee plantation

aren't even allowed
to have coffee.

Good job.

Sure, we've seen it before,
but have we seen it

with a terrifying boob assault
by a cobra,

not to mention
an extended jungle firefight

among three different
criminal gangs

who end up exchanging
cannon fire on the open seas

while women in tight shorts
and halter tops

spray machine-gun ammo

across half of the stunt men
working in the Philippines?

I think not.

Let's look at those
drive-in totals and get started.

We have...

Drive-In Academy Award
nominations for Trina Parks

as the hot trustee Marcie,

who says, "What are you
two black beauties

doing in a nice place
like this?";

Jayne Kennedy as the hot
house girl Serena,

for her emotional speech

comparing the jungle
to a house cat;

Tony Carreon
as the cruel slaver

who says, "Remember
that I own you!";

Rosanne Katon
as the feisty Anggie,

who says, "You can cut both
of my arms off

and I will still find
a way to kill you!";

Jeannie Bell as the unflappable
pirate boss Kelly;

and Cirio Santiago,
the writer-director,

for doing things
the drive-in way.

Three stars.
Joe Bob says, "Check it out."

You know, there is nothing like
Playboy Playmates

running through the jungle
with machine guns,

kung-fu'ing goons
to make your whole day better.

Agreed.

In the Filipino industry
actually, the word "goon"

is a technical term.

It is a day player

who's hired
for tough-guy background.

He agrees to be beat up
or killed if necessary.

But he has to be athletic,
but he has to have a goon face.

The casting director decides
if he has a goon face or not.

The guys line up, and they want
to have a goon face

'cause they want to get hired
for the day.

And if you have the right goon
face, you get the job.

Cool.

Because they blow
so many people up

in Philippine movies

that they've gotta be
organized.

They need a system for it.

You can actually put it
on your résumé.

"I was a goon
for Cirio Santiago."

So they're
like stunt men?

They're people doing stunt work
who are not really stunt men.

They're not that
safety conscious

in the Philippines.

The best ones --

How many times
have you seen this

in a Filipino movie --
the guy throws a grenade,

and he throws it over
the crest of the hill.

It disappears over
the crest of a hill,

and then two guys are flung
forward from behind the hill

and they turn somersaults
as they die.

You know?
And usually together.

[Laughing]

You know what
I'm talking about?Totally.

So it's a somersault grenade.

It's so powerful, it launches
you out of the foxhole

and causes you to flip 360
in the air,

with a partner
before you land in a dead heap.

It oughta be an Olympic sport.

That's amazing.

So especially if you just got
machine-gunned

by a Playboy Playmate
in a halter top, you know.

Remember the movie within a
movie in "Hollywood Boulevard"?

Yeah.

Actually,
"Hollywood Boulevard II."

Remember?

Oh, yeah,
the one we watched.

Yeah, we watched it rec--

Remember my cameo scene
where we're in the jungle?

I mean,
who could forget that?

The movie they're shooting
when I'm in the jungle

is called
"Machete Maidens of Mora Tao,"

and it's a direct parody

of Cirio Santiago movies
from the Philippines.

In fact, I think
they use footage

from actual Cirio Santiago
movies --

those girls
with the machine guns.

Now it all makes sense.

Did you actually go to the
Philippines for that cameo?

Malibu.

I would have sworn
it was the Philippines.

It's called acting, Darcy.

You're just so good.

Yeah. Thank you.

[Static]

♪♪

♪♪

[Funk music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Tell me
I'm seeing things.

♪♪

Nope, it's coming
straight at us, alright.

I don't believe it.
It gets easier every time.

Oh, you bragging up
complaining.

Complaining?

It's getting to be boring.

[Indistinct conversations]

Man: Oh, how are you?

Oh, it's a nice little trip.

Oh, we're so glad
you join us out here.

Rocco,
get the boys ready.

Capitan, get ready.
Lopez, get that gun ready.

♪♪

Anggie, you ready?
Yeah.

Rocco, you ready?Rocco: Sí.

Fire across the bow!

[Machine-gun fire]

[Tourists screaming]

Let's go!

Alright, just settle down
and no one gets hurt.

What's happening?

It's a hold-up, Dumbo.

These aren't girls,
they're pirates.

Pirates?
Like Errol Flynn?

Where's their sword?

Will this do, love?

[Funk music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Mellow guitar music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

Buenas noches.Good evening.

We have a boat
in the harbor.

That is very nice.

Boats are very nice.

I understand you're the man
we talk to

about unloading
our cargo here.

You have fish?

A little more
valuable than fish.

I always make arrangements
for unloading fish.

Is there anyone else
we can talk to?

Capitan Infante.

Oh, no, no. Somebody other
than the capitan.

Somebody a little, um...A little grow?

A little.

Capitan Infante.
Hey.

♪♪

A police captain
makes very little money.

I have a big family.

One has to make ends
meet somehow.

What did you say
you want to sell?

Everything but the boat.

Oh, that sounds
very interesting.

We'd like to unload
as soon as possible.

Tomorrow.

No business tonight.

Tonight is fiesta night.

Tomorrow is bound
to be a fiesta.

We have a fiesta
for everything.

A fiesta when it rains,
a fiesta when it stop raining.

A fiesta when a woman
gives birth, a fiesta

when someone gets divorced,
every day is fiesta time.

Why not?

Our life is a big fiesta.

Kelly: Oh, come on
we're in a big hurry.

Tomorrow, tomorrow.

But tonight...

[Indistinct conversations]

...you are my guests.

Just be happy,
eat, drink and dance

and do anything
that will make you happy.

I have to see someone.

I thought you weren't doing
any business tonight.

El Turko is one
of my best costumers.

We got work to do.

Well, well, El Turko

is trying to move in
on our territory.

Goddammit. Turko is
beginning to bug me.

Me too.

You've been complaining
of boredom.

What do you say
we hit him?

[Gunfire]

[Shouting
in Spanish]

♪♪

[Gunfire continues]

♪♪

Come on, come on!
Get on board!

Let's go!

♪♪

♪♪

Now, Turko, how would it be?

Put down the arms, boys.

♪♪

Baby, remember,
we got a score to settle.

Someday
I'll get you for this.

Rocco.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Aah!

[Yells indistinctly]

♪♪

[Gunfire]

♪♪

Turko, now you got
no score to settle!

[Laughs]

[Mellow music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

Rocco,
help Pedro to gas up.

We leave first thing
in the morning.

Yeah.

Oh, Rocco, clean my gun.

Will do.

[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

♪♪

Where's my kiss?

Ahh!

Wait till you see
what I have.

For me, really?

Sure, who else?

Thank you.

I love you,
I love you, Kelly.

[Laughs]

Mama, mama.

[Speaking Spanish]

[Speaking Spanish]

[Fortunata yelling in Spanish]

Fortunata.
Fortunata.

You're useless, useless.

And you say you are a brave man?

And you are a a fucking pirate?

Yeah, well, what are you doing
hiding behind my skirt, eh?

[Speaking Spanish]
Kelly, Kelly.

If you say you are
half the man you are,

you go to talk
to her yourself.

Come on!Welcome home, Kelly.

Welcome home.

Fortunata and I were
just talking about you.

I was just telling her
about our raids.

Remember Maracaibo?

The raid on Sea Fuego?

The sorties on Leeward Islands?

Those were the days.

There wasn't a sailor
in the Seven Seas

wouldn't tremble at the mention
of Crossbone Kelly.

I would've loved to see
the look on Turko's face.

Niña, come on, niña,
you can give me a hand, eh?

Come on, come on,
Anggie.

Sancho:
I hear that dreaded Turk

is nothing more
than shredded duck.

Do you know what that
makes us, Kelly?

Top dog.

Do you understand,
Capitan?

Top dog.

Anggie, andale.

Sandra's gone.

What happened?

You know your sister.

Head like a rock
when she makes up her mind.

A week ago, I wake up,
she's gone.

Por Dios.
What do you want me to do?

Tie her up to a tree?

If you keep your eyes open
instead of sleeping,

you are always sleeping.

I'm sorry, Kelly.Where did she go?

Do you have any idea
where she went?

When little Sandra
gets out of camp,

she doesn't leave
her itinerary.

Don't get sassy
with me, Sancho.

Just wait until I lay
my hands on her.

At Santo Domingo,
she has friends there.

I've tried
everywhere else.

No, sir.

If she wants out,
she can damn well stay out.

Señorita Kelly.No, I mean it this time.

I am tired of babysitting
for that brat.

From now on,
every man is for himself.

Cut the crap, Kelly.
Let's go.

We'll reach Santo Domingo
by dawn tomorrow.

She's not here.

I can tell by the look
on Sancho's face.

Wait here,
I'll be right back.

Sancho:
She's nowhere to be found.

Madre de Dios,
I could kill her.

Let's hope
no one's beat you to it.

Life ain't easy
in these parts.

Excuse me, have you
seen a girl

with a big natural,
wearing beads?

She's about 5'7",
my complexion.

Ah, yeah, yeah.

South of Suarez.
Thank you.

Sancho, take us
south of Suarez.

Sancho: What for?
That's no man's land.

Kelly: They tell me
they a black girl

singing in Murphy's bar.

It might turn out
to be Sandy, yet.

Madre de Dios,Kelly.

That's no man's land.

Please, Kelly, please.

Oh, lighten up, Sancho.

It's not that bad.

[Mellow jazz music playing]

Somebody wants to see you.

Oh, yeah, where?

Oh, yeah.

♪♪

You wanna see me?

Yes, I'm looking
for someone.

Oh, yeah?

Well, maybe
I can help you.

How about coming up
to my office?

We'll talk about that.

Sure.
What a bunny.

What a bunny.

Oh, la la.

Que linda.

[Speaking Spanish]

Please don't touch.

No, I don't touch.

I say,
"Te quiero mucho."

I like you.

In your language, I say,
"I've got the blues."

You come at 'em, okay?Coffee, please.

Black, very hot.

Tengo mucho dinero.

[Speaking Spanish]

[Screams]

[Laughs]

[Yelling angrily
in Spanish]

Fill that up again.

Why don't you leave, huh?

That's gonna
keep happening

as long as
you keep sitting here.

Oh, it doesn't bother me.

As long as you keep
filling up that glass.

You're the first
American girl

who ever stayed here
long enough for a refill.

I like you.

You got a lot of spunk.

I like you, but you still
didn't tell about my sister.

Oh, yeah, your sister.

I remember her.

Sandra, I think
her name was, huh?

She worked for me
for a couple of days,

and then
she just disappeared.

Hey, wait a minute.

Why don't you --

Why don't you stay here
and work for me, huh?

No, thanks.

But I really want you.

Oh, how flattering.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I can make you
very happy here, baby.

Oh, you wanna
make me happy?

Open this door.

I will, I will.

How about if you give me
a little pleasure first, huh?

Oh, come on.
Babe, come on.

I like it
when a girl struggles.

I like it when a man
doesn't get what he wants.

[Screaming]

Ohh!

Get over here!

You're hurting my arm!

You slob!

Aah!

[Lamp crashes]

Some people can't
take yes for an answer.

That's it, baby.
Now you got the idea.

That's just the way
I like it.

You're a sick man.

[Banging on door]

Man: Open up!

Open up!

Grab her!

That bitch was trying
to rob me!

Oh, sure.

[Suspenseful music playing]

♪♪

[Gunfire]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Dónde estáKelly?

Dónde estáKelly?!

♪♪

[Speaking Spanish]

Dónde estáKelly?

Dónde estáKelly?!

Ah!

Dónde estáKelly?!

[Bird squawking]

Anggie: So, where do we go
from here?

Kelly: I don't know.

Maybe the next town,
I guess.

You know how Sandy is.

She's probably making all
her rounds of all the bars.

Like she always says,
"I'm trying to find myself."

Good morning.
May I join you?

We were just leaving.

It will just
take a minute.

Clemente Navarro.

I'm with
the justice department.

Which of you
is Kelly Harrington?

Neither of us,
if you're here on business.

It's so far
from being business,

not even my own staff
knows I'm here.

I understand you're looking
for your sister.

We were just getting ready
to move up the coast.

I can save you
some time.

Your sister is
not up the coast.

Do you know where she is?

Where?Is she alive?

She's alive
but in trouble.

She's been kidnapped.

Oh, no.

You want
to see your sister,

I can help.

But I want you
to do something for me.

You see, there's a gang
of kidnappers

victimizing unescorted women
in the remote sections of town.

They work for a sadist
called Monteiro.

That's where Sandra is?

He is caught up
in a reef,

bound by forests
and swamps.

Very strategic
and quite impregnable.

They call the area
Salir Si Puedes,

which is Spanish for
"Get out if you can."

That's cute.

The few
who have been to the camp

say that it's nothing more
than a coffee plantation.

But I know different.

But I have no proof.

I sent one of my people
in a few month ago

and made her pose
as a prostitute.

They fell for it.

She was supplying us
with information

about Monteiro's activities,

but we haven't heard from Joyce
for weeks.

And I need someone
to go in there

and be, well, for a lack
of a better word --

Spies?

Are you sure
Sandy is there?

Yes.
That we know.

And we also know...

the kind of business
you're engaged in.

We're willing to let bygones
to be bygones.

That is, if you cooperate.

Otherwise, we will go
through the embarrassing ordeal

of arresting you.

Thereby, preventing you
from saving your sister.

How do we get in
to this Monteiro plantation?

Getting in is easy,

but getting out,
that's another story.

Just get us in,
we worry about getting out.

Right, Sancho?

[Static]

In case you're not familiar
with Filipino culture,

all undercover work
by the Justice Department

is conducted
at corn dog stands.

But this movie had me as soon
as I saw that pirate skiff

scooting through the water

to the fake Isaac Hayes
wah-wah music.

It actually sounds like

if you couldn't afford
Isaac Hayes.

so you hired
his 12-year-old nephew

to do similar music
on a toy Hammond organ.

At any rate, we've now
got two pirate gangs,

one led by Miss October 1969.

That would be Jeannie Bell
as Kelly,

the second African-American
Playmate in history,

the first black Playmate
to be on the cover of "Playboy,"

the star of Roger Corman's first
venture into blaxploitation.

She was TNT Jackson.

Jeannie Bell plays Sandy,

the head pirate who bosses
her all-male gang

around with the help of...

Miss September 1978,

Rosanne Katon --

one of the three stars
in Jack Hill's immortal

"The Swinging Cheerleaders."

The other swinging cheerleaders

were Colleen Camp
and Rainbeaux Smith.

Rosanne Katon plays Anggie,

and I guess she's the first
lieutenant in the pirate gang

which,
in case you didn't notice,

has a Robin Hood element
in that they give money

to the crippled children
in the village.

Now, if you were watching
this movie in 1976

when it first came out,

you might have noticed
that Cirio Santiago,

the king of Filipino
exploitation,

is combining quite
a few tried-and-true genres.

The boom in made-in-Philippines
exploitation

started with horror.

It moved quickly
to women-in-prison movies,

and then suddenly any movie that
needed action and pretty girls

was slated
for Philippine shooting.

Why?

Because in 1971, the year
they made 250 feature films

in the Philippines,
day players cost 5 bucks a day.

That included stunt men,

so you could shoot
action sequences

on free jungle locations.

You could use hundreds
of actors.

They actually shot World War II
epics there.

And the local Philippine
sensation at the time

was the "bomba" movie,
or sex movie.

There were movies that had a lot
of nudity, lot of soft-core sex.

And there was a third element
for filming in the Philippines.

The country's dictator,
Ferdinand Marcos,

was a film fan,

and so he made all locations
free to filmmakers

and he would even provide
the helicopters

and the Army vehicles

and anything you needed
to shoot action movies.

And Imelda Marcos, his wife,
was a former beauty queen

who was determined
to make Manila

the center of Asian film.

They built this huge film center
in Manila,

and they built it so fast --
This is not funny.

They built it so fast
that several dozen workers died

during the building of it,
and I'm not making this up.

The workers had been buried
by the collapse of the walls

and they were stuck
in the wet cement,

so they just...

They were on a deadline,
so they just covered them up.

They didn't have time
to exhume the bodies.

I hope they've gone back
and pulled 'em out by now,

but who knows?
It's the Philippines.

Anyway, at the very first Manila
International Film Festival,

at the beautiful film center
erected by Imelda Marcos,

one of the panelists was...

Roger Corman, who by that time

had made some 40 movies
in the Philippines.

This was not one of them.

This was actually released
by Dimension Pictures,

which was the company set up
by Stephanie Rothman,

a director who started out
working for Roger,

but she had a falling-out
with him

and so set up her own
distribution company

in New York.

But if you look at all
the blaxploitation movies

of the '70s, you --

You know, blaxploitation
started in New York City --

You know, gritty environments
like "Shaft," "Super Fly" --

but as the genre progresses,
more and more of them

are shot
in these jungle locations

because the Philippines
were selling,

and everybody was buying!

So my point is, by the time
this movie was made in 1976,

you have directors and crews

who have made literally dozens
of blaxploitation films,

dozens of soft-core sex films,
dozens of horror films,

dozens of martial-arts films,
dozens of jungle-warfare films,

dozens of women-in-prison films.

Several of the Italian directors

had set up shop in Manila
to make cannibal films.

So with "The Muthers,"
you have Cirio Santiago

essentially saying,
"Let's just put together

every single genre
we've ever used.

Let's mix 'em into one big
Filipino exploitation stew."

And that's what this is,
so I love it.

Back to the movie.

And now we're going deep into
yet another no man's land.

That bar where they had
the two scenes,

that was the first
no man's land.

But now there's
a coffee plantation

surrounded by swamps
and dense jungle.

Is Filipino coffee a thing?
Anyway...

the name of the land
is this incredibly complicated

Tagalog
or maybe it's a Spanish word,

but what does it mean
in English?

It means "Get out if you can."

It's the Get Out
If You Can swamp.

Ooooooooooooh.

In almost every Filipino movie,

whether it's women-in-prison
or martial arts or action,

they have to go to the most
dangerous place in the world

to rescue my sister.

Sometimes it's my brother.

Sometimes it's my daughter,

but usually it's,
"I have to get my sister out."

And, of course, wreak vengeance
on the people who took her.

There's a gang out there
kidnapping unescorted women.

That's what
the government agent said.

These unescorted women
are getting kidnapped.

So two unescorted women
are going in to get her out.

Remember the "Missing in Action"
movies?

Those were all made
in the Philippines.

"We have go to Vietnam
and liberate the POWs

who are still being held
in bamboo cages,

years after the war is over."

And then in "Missing
in Action 2,"

"We have to go get the POWs
we forgot to liberate

in 'Missing in Action 1."'

Were there ever any POWs
that were still being held

by the Viet Cong after 1974?

I don't think so.

I don't think
they ever found any.

And there were all these movies,

and there were those POW signs
on the highways for years.

That didn't peter out
until the '90s.

It was one of those things
everybody wanted to believe in.

"Oh, yeah,
those Communist Vietnamese,

they've still got prisons
for Americans over there."

Did we ever apologize for that
because...

Of course not!
We did not.

If you asked, "Why would
they wanna keep prisoners

after they won the war?

Wouldn't that cost
a lot of money?"

Because they're mean,
because they're wicked.

The real reason was,

American filmmakers needed
that to be true, so...

We are sick.

[Laughter]

[Static]

[Funk music playing]

♪♪

Anggie: Imagine if you knew
this was the key.

♪♪

♪♪

[Women yelling in Spanish]

[Screaming]

♪♪

[Whistle blowing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Slow ambient music playing]

[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

There's a lot of work
to be done around here.

Our rules are simple enough.

[Whip cracks]

Obey them without question,
and you will be treated well.

If you don't, you'll get
yourself into a lot of trouble.

Welcome to [chuckles]
Salir Si Puede.

[Ominous music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Crickets chirping]

Ah, this bugs
are driving me crazy!

Hi.

We're gonna be roommates
for a long time.

So I think we better
get to know each other.

I'm Marcie.

Angela.

I've been here
eight months.

I'm the trustee here.

Hmm.

Well, I guess
that's my problem.

You see,
I trusted this dude

who said he was
gonna set me up

real nice and comfy like.

He set me up, alright.

He set me up
right here. Hmm.

Well, enough of that.

What are you two
black beauties doing

in a nice place
like this?

We're pirates.

And I'm Snow White.

Come on.

Alright, it was a bunch
of girls and myself.

We saw this ad
in this Berkeley bar.

This rich dude
wanted some girls

to help him sail his yacht
around the world.

No experience
necessary, right?

Hmm.
Sounds like here.

Come as you are.

Well, the yacht turned out
to be a bathtub.

The captain got broke,
he split and there we were.

We picked up Anggie here
in Paraguay.

I was slinging hash
with tourists

in a hotel coffee shop
when I met Kelly and her sister.

They asked me to join them.

I said, "Why not?

Time for me to take my destiny
in my hands."

Been one big adventure
since then, huh.

This is just
another glamorous stop

on our global tour.

I never did like coffee
in the morning.

[Laughs]

[Mellow music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

There's a lucky one.

And that's Barrows.

He's what you call a procurer
for the flesh market.

If he likes you,
he pays Monteiro.

And then it's hot baths,

good food,
and soft bed from then on.

Sandy!

♪♪

[Yells in Spanish]

You know her?

It ain't the Hilton,
but at least they give you

the decency
of a shower after work.

It's not too bad
once you get used to it.

I could never get used
to being caged in.

Yeah, well,
I know what you mean,

but I had to get used to it.

You make the best of this
situation, you'll survive.

Honey,
we're not staying.

Didn't you know?
There's no way out.

Huh, there's my way.

Well, I was just trying
to make conversation.

What's she so uptight about?

Her sister.

Well, I'm not her sister.

Her sister's been missing
for about a month now.

Oh.

Nobody knows
where she is.

That sounds bad.

Maybe you can help.

How?

They say she might have
been brought here.

That's why we came.

How old is she?
16.

Did she have
curly black hair

and sort of a --
kinda wild

and had bangles
and beads on?

Yeah, yeah.
That's Sandra.

Sandra Harrington?

Kelly!

Yeah?

She's here.
Sandy's here.

Well, not really.

What's happened to her?

You see, she escaped
two days ago with a girl, Joyce.

Marcie, what are her
chances out there?

Bad, very bad.

She got out, didn't she?

They'll get them.
They always do.

Shit.

[Clanking]

[Indistinct conversations]

They found her,
heaven help us.

What are you talking about?She's been caught.

She's badly beaten up.

Out!
Out, out!

[Guard yelling
in Spanish]

You, stay there.

[Speaks indistinctly]

[Dramatic music playing]

♪♪

That's Serena.

She got sent down here
for something or other.

But she managed
to get herself

a job in the house
instead of the field.

Looks to me like she does
a lot more

than just work
around the house.

Kelly:
You can say that again.

There are different
kinds of work, honey.

But she's cool.

She'll sneak stuff
to me sometimes --

food, books,
even nail polish.

You know,
there ain't no luxuries

in this plantation.

But you can't hate a girl
just because she got it easy.

Monteiro: Let this serve
as a lesson to all of you!

That no one can escape Monteiro!

No one!

Even before the jungle
can kill you...

we shall find you
and bring you back.

Then you will wish
that you had never left camp.

Or that the crocodiles
had killed you in the swamp.

[Gasps]

[Panting]

This stupid girl
thought she could escape.

But as you can see,
she's sadly mistaken.

But we will make sure she does
not repeat the same mistake.

A more severe penalty awaits the
other girl when she's caught.

And she will be caught.

It is only a matter of time.

[Women gasp]

[Ominous music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

That bastard better be glad
it wasn't Sandy.

Oh, Kelly, you realize
Joyce was the girl

Navarro
was counting on.

This Monteiro
really knows

how to make
our life difficult.

You haven't seen
half of it yet.

Wait till you see what happens
to the guard

who gave that girl the gun.

♪♪

♪♪

You all know Ramon.

He is the one responsible
for the girl's escape.

Señor Monteiro is not happy.

So because of this man,

lights out at 9:00.

Only one meal a day
for two months.

Everyone in the fields
at 4:00 every morning.

No lunch break.

If you show Señor Monteiro
how displeased you are

with this man,
he will reconsider

and give you back
your privileges.

It's up to you.

♪♪

♪♪

Are they gonna kill him?

They're being kind
to him.

[Ramon yelling]

♪♪

Somebody
oughta help him.

They'll kill you.

Have you ever
been raped?

Enough to know
that fighting back

is the surest way
to get your head kicked in.

[Fast-paced drum music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

You'd think with all the work
we do around here,

they'd give us
a little coffee.

We're what you call
minimum maintenance.

I'm what you call
sick of this slop.

You wanna make a petition
to make get a new cook?

You mean to tell me
somebody cooked this mess?

And here comes dessert.

Thought you might need
some cigarettes.

Oh, Serena,
you're a mind reader.

Yeah, I'm also
a reckless fool.

You know I could get my head
bashed in for this?

Oh, these are
the new girls.

Anggie and Kelly.

Hello, welcome
to the penitentiary.

Hey, Kelly,
take a look at this.

A house nigger.

[Both laughing]

Be cool, girls.

[Laughing continues]

I have to go
through a lot more

than picking coffee beans,
honey.

A hell of a lot more.

Yeah, but I don't think

I have the stomach to do
what you do.

No, I don't think you do.

Enjoy your lunch.

You know, I kissed
a lot of ass in my time,

but I'm not gonna take
none of her shit.

This place is really getting
on my nerves, too.

Well,
let's bust out then.

I wouldn't try it.

Sandy's out there somewhere,
and she needs help.

We'll leave tonight.
How?

You know what happens
when somebody tries.

I see what happens
when somebody don't.

What the hell do you think
we're running here?

A nursery school?

But, Señor Monteiro --Excuses, I don't need excuses.

What I want is action.
Results, positive results.

But we've doubled
the guards, Señor.

Double the guards
is nothing.

Loyalty, discipline, fear.

That's what you need
among the ranks.

Sí, señor.

It took you one whole week
to catch one girl.

Unforgivable.

Sí, señor.

You have until this afternoon
to bring me the other one.

She will be caught,
señor.

If you value your necks.

Vamanos!

Where have you been?Just riding.

[Whispering] Sancho.

What the hell
are you doing here?

Turko hit the camp.

Killed some of our men.

He's looking for you.

Where's Sandra?

She's not here.

Get us out of here,
Sancho.

The men are ready.

They're waiting at Pico de Loro,
along the coast.

Let's go.

Now!

♪♪

[Gunfire]

♪♪

♪♪

Anggie: Sancho!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, no!

You bastards,
you fucking bastards!

♪♪

I'm gonna kill
every last one of you.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

That man has gotta die.

That's what all the girls
talk about.

Talk about killing Monteiro
and talk about escaping.

You know, I must've heard
10,000 ways how to kill a man

and another five
how to get out of here.

I guess talking that way
keeps us going.

But pretty soon, all you
wanna do is just stay alive.

And you get on your knees
and you crawl

and you do anything
they want you to do.

I'm not crawling on my knees
for nobody.

I'm not one
of Monteiro's slaves.

I was fighting for my life
when I was 5 years old,

and I'm not rolling over
and playing dead now.

Anggie, there is no way
out of here.

Just no way.

I'm gonna find it.

Guard:
You, time is up.

Okay, so once Miss October '69
and Miss September '78

arrive at the slave plantation
run by the evil Monteiro,

the first person they meet
is a Bond girl.

That's Trina Parks as Marcie.

Who remembers
"Diamonds Are Forever,"

the final
Sean Connery Bond film?

James Bond's quest takes him
to the suburbs of Las Vegas

where Blofeld is holding the
multi-millionaire Willard Whyte

in a private mansion
that serves as a prison,

and the prison is guarded
by two acrobatic ninja women

named Bambi and Thumper.

Now you remember, right?

Well, Trina Parks is Thumper.

She was a great dancer.

She could do
all those complicated moves.

Bambi and Thumper try to drown
James Bond in the pool, I think,

but I don't think he kills 'em.

I think they get away,
I can't remember.

Anyway, she was also known
for starring as Syreena

in "Darktown Strutters,"
the blaxploitation flick

about super soul sisters
on motorcycles.

And then after they meet
the Bond girl,

they meet the most
well-known member

of this cast,
who would not become

a "Playboy" centerfold
till 1981,

and by then she had become
the first woman commentator

on "The NFL Today."

Jayne Kennedy, as Serena,

the concubine of the slave
plantation owner Monteiro.

Jayne Kennedy was everywhere
in the '70s and the early '80s.

She was on the Bob Hope
Christmas tour.

She was
on "The Dean Martin Show"

as one of the Ding-A-Ling
Sisters.

She guested on a whole bunch
of TV shows,

several movies, including
the ones made by her husband,

Leon Isaac Kennedy.

They remade
"Body and Soul" together.

She was also
in a Stephanie Rothman movie,

"Group Marriage,"
one of those pictures

that Stephanie made after
she left New World.

Didn't make much of an impact.

Rosanne Katon,
the actress playing Anggie,

was asked, "Why she would do
such low-budget stuff

in the Philippines?"

And she said,
"Show me another movie

starring four
African-American women.

Normally I would just get asked
to play hookers."

And so that's pretty much
how all four women felt.

However, like most actors,

they were a little shocked
to find out

just how primitive
some of the filming conditions

could be in the Philippines,

but they felt they were
doing something important

just by making
this movie happen.

This is the part of the movie
where normally you would have

some really rough scenes
with torture and abuse.

Many of them carried out
by a lesbian warden.

That was a stock figure
in these movies.

But by 1976, women-in-prison
had sort of exhausted

that sort of plot

and the emphasis now was on
the escape, the break-out.

Cirio Santiago always wanted
to get as quickly as possible

to the gunfight scene.

That was always what he loved.

So all the cruel,
barbarian scenes --

the killing
of the two runaways,

the punishment of the guard,
the throwing of Kelly and Anggie

into the hole --

they're not that cruel
and not that barbaric.

Maybe it's because Santiago
was short of money,

but he was just suggesting what
happens behind the scenes,

like that girl who's taken away
on the train

supposedly to be raped.

Um...that guy in charge
of sex trafficking,

we see so little of him
that we can't be certain

that it is
a sex-trafficking operation.

It looks like the main thing
they want the girls to do

is pick those coffee beans.

So I would say this is
restrained

as far as the usual elements

of women-in-captivity
stories go,

so what it leaves
is the sisterhood

among the imprisoned women,

especially the four black ones,
who, if you'll notice,

are the only black actors
in the movie.

That's a fact that they don't
really make that much of,

but we have a little bit
of an exposition scene

where Kelly and Anggie
give their backstories,

but I think the backstories
are lies

'cause they don't trust Marcie
with their real stories.

You would think if you're gonna
make a movie

about tough-women pirates,

you would show us how they
became tough-woman pirates,

but nope, no time for that.

Cue the machine guns.

Alright, back to the movie.

Roll the flick.

And the girls probably
could have worked

on their martial arts
a little more.

Some of those kicks are,
you know...

But then again,
who knows what Cirio Santiago

was asking them to do.

He wasn't the kind of guy
to say,

"Go to this martial-arts academy
in town

and work with
this stunt coordinator,

and I'll see you in two weeks."

He was more the kinda guy
who would say,

"Don't kick so high.

I need to see your boobs
while you're kicking."

The Philippines was the only
place that made

all genres of martial arts,
though.

Starting in the '60s,
they made karate films,

which originated in Japan.

Then they made kung fu, which
originated in Hong Kong.

And of course,
both periods of kung fu --

the Bruce Lee period
and the post-Bruce Lee period

'cause the Philippines
welcomed Bruce Li, Bruce Lei,

Bruce Lo, they all worked
in the Philippines.

Then kung fu
started to decline

and you had
those "Rambo" ripoffs.

That was just
old-fashioned fisticuffs

and brawls and guns.

Then you had
the ninja movie,

which started with Sho Kosugi.

And then you had
what they called White Fu,

which was Chuck Norris

and Jean-Claude Van Damme
and Michael Dudikoff.

Roger Corman had a White Fu guy

under long-term contract --
Don "The Dragon" Wilson.

And, yes, he worked
in the Philippines.

If you wanted to film a fight,

but you didn't wanna pay
for insurance,

go to the Philippines.

Today I don't know
where you would go.

You'd just hire a wrestler
or something.

But they have stories --

The Roger Corman directors
have these stories

about trying to protect
the stunt men,

but the Filipino directors
would go,

"Hit him! Hit him harder!

Why are you holding back?
He's paid to do this!

He's getting $5 a day!"
You know?

Reminds me of coaches
I had in high school.

"Shake it off, Briggs.
Shake that --"

"Coach, I'm hurt."
"Shake it off, son."

What does that even mean?
Why did they say that?

What do I shake to make it
stop hurting, you know?

One time I got hit with
a fastball right in the mouth

when I was playing
Little League.

And my face was just
one big mess of blood

and, of course, blood
is spewing out onto the ground,

and the manager says,
"Okay, shake it off."

Shake it off where?

So the blood goes on my shoes

instead of on my uniform shirt,
you know?

There was a time when playing
Little League

was like being a stunt man
in the Philippines.

"He's blocking
that base path, son.

You have the right
to knock him on his ass.

"Don't let him take the inside
corner away, Briggs.

You lean in there.

You play
for Porterfield Realty."

That was the name of the team.

Porterfield Real Estate.

"Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yes, Coach,
now I'm inspired to triumph!

I play for Porterfield Realty!"

[Laughter]

But they would say,
"Okay, this kid is wild,

and he's trying to throw curves.

A hit by pitch is as good as
a walk is as good as a hit."

"Okay, Coach,
I'll just stick my head

into the strike zone,
good strategy."

Where do these kids' coaches
come from, you know?

Actually, now that
I think of it,

some of 'em
came from the Philippines.

'Cause they had fought there
in the war,

and they wanted you
to remember that.

[Static]

[Mellow music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Just tell your friends
they better be extra careful.

Monteiro has his eye
on them.

You know how he works.

Half the girls
on this plantation

would sell him their mother
for a cigarette.

I don't think there's
any stopping them.

Would you go with them?

I might.

You'd be killed.

Is that
an official statement?

Marcie, you know me
better than that.

If I thought there was a chance,
I'd go with you,

but there isn't.

I know Monteiro better
than anybody alive.

No one has ever escaped
from here.

That's more important to him
than anybody's life.

You call this a life?

I'm trying to make it
as easy for you as I can.

Serena,
it ain't easy enough.

I'll do this much.

I'll see to it that they're
released from their cells,

and they can work
the fields again.

Gee, thanks.

Marcie, at least they get
a chance to eat a full meal

and a chance to think it over.

But no more games.

At least not until we've get
a definite plan mapped out.

Is that a deal?

The only deal
I'm gonna make

is to put a bullet
through Monteiro's head.

Now, Serena's
only trying to help.

There's not much difference

between the frying pan
and the fire.

Take my word.

We should stay away
from her.

Anggie, I've had enough
of your bitchiness.

And another thing,

there ain't no house niggers
around here either.

So let's forget
all that bull

and figure out how Serena can
help us get out of here.

Fuck Serena.

If only we can get a message
to our men

so they can come
and blow this place sky high.

My clients were very pleased
with the last batch.

All the credit
goes to Serena.

It would be a shame if you
ever had to lose all this.

I don't intend to.

I believe the government
has different ideas.

You know, in the capital,
I keep hearing

all this loose talk
about the justice department

being anxious to see
this place closed down.

Barrows, it will
take much more

than loose talk
to do that.

Much, much more,
my friend.

It won't work.

I don't care how many men
they've got.

Monteiro has this place
so well-guarded,

it would be suicide
to try anything.

Serena, they're
gonna die here.

You know that.

Trust me.

[Suspenseful music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

That's the best
of the breed.

Her.

You know your women.

Serena.

Open your mouth.

I'm getting us
out of here.

Anggie,
don't be stupid.

Save me please.
No!

Leave me alone!

Save me, please!
No!

Please!

Please take me with you.

Please!

Goddammit, leave me alone!

No! No!

I'm sorry for this.

They'll have better manners
next time.

[Crickets chirping]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Groans]

You see what happens,
Anggie?

I'm only sorry
I didn't get to him.

You'll be alright,
Anggie.

♪♪

♪♪

Monteiro: Serena!

What do you want?

Nothing.
It can wait.

What's the matter
with you?

Is it
those black girls again?

I'm fed up about your
concern over them.

You've interceded for them
once too often.

You forget
why you're here?

No.

Don't forget you're here
because I need you.

For my convenience.

And I can do any damn thing
that I want,

so stop meddling
in my affairs.

Remember that I own you

and never forget
where you came from or else.

Then why don't you
just let me go?

You?

Go?

Up to this time,

you're still hoping
that I would change?

That somehow, we could
still make it together?

Kelly.

Kelly.

I've decided.

Kelly: What?

Beer.
Oh, Anggie.

[Laughs]

When I get out of here,

I'm gonna get
a barrel of beer

and I'm gonna get in there,
I'm gonna wallow.

Aah! Whoa.

That's the spirit, girl.

Not spirits, beer.

I'm gonna get
out of here.

I know what I need
when I get out of here, girl.

Whoo!
Dancing?

No, a good man.

[Laughter]Can I have a piece?

I'm sticking it out
with them, Serena.

I guess
I haven't been fair

getting you involved
like this.

But you got yourself
out of the field

and out of the barracks.

You think that's the hell
of a deal, huh?

You know damn well
what I go through.

You think I wouldn't get out
of this shit

if I thought there
was a way?

Then help us.

If there is a way,

you are the only one
who can find it.

Marcie, it's not that
I don't wanna help you.

It's just that you'd stand
a better chance

if you went alone
than if you went with me.

Anybody else,
he'd follow them

till he figured
the jungle killed them.

But me, Marcie, he's never
gonna give up on me.

Well, think about it,
will you?

Marcie, I've been thinking
about it for years.

[Dramatic music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

Guard: You, you!
Follow me, come on!

Anggie: Ow!

♪♪

I find you very troublesome,
indeed.

You never seem to be content
with your lot.

If you was in our shoes,
you'd understand why.

You must be Kelly.

Crossbone Kelly.

You see, nothing
ever escapes me.

Nothing at all.

Except me.

I'm busting out
of this loony bin, Monteiro.

But before I do,

I'm gonna put a bullet
between your eyes.

Aah!

You resent me because of
your sister's death, of course.

But you must realize,
she gave me no choice.

She made me do it.

Fuck you!

I understand you were sent
by the justice department

to find out what happened
with a contact here.

But as you know, they have lost
their contact here.

She's been disconnected.

At least, her neck was.

I'm gonna kill you!

I'm sure you will
if I let you.

But I won't.

You can rip both
of my arms off,

but I'll still find
a way to kill you.

Oh!

Now, listen here
and listen good.

I'm sick and tired
of all this business.

I have no quarrel
with you.

So forget about your friend
in the justice department

because he's dead.

♪♪

♪♪

Forget about your sister
because she's dead, too.

And if you don't forget
about escaping,

you will be dead.

Take them away!

No food, no water,
two days.

[Grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations]

[Marcie] Oh, Kelly.

♪♪

♪♪

[Clanking]

♪♪

Guard: Get some water,
get some water.

Come on!

Don't let the girls escape!

The water!

Marcie.

Hold this.
Let's go.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Groans]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Birds squawking]

♪♪

♪♪

[Birds chirping]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Static]

Okay, it wasn't the most
dramatic prison break

in the history
of women-in-prison movies,

but we did have that
one suspenseful moment

when they encounter a booby trap
apparently built

by 6-year-old Sam
from "The Babadook."

They touch some kind of
bamboo, spiky contrivance,

and it kind of wobbles
across the footpath.

Anyway, we now have all four
of our Amazons

liberated from the evil
coffee plantation.

Let's make sure that place does
not get fair-trade certification

at Starbucks, and what I would
expect to see at this point

is a struggle for leadership
within the foursome.

That's the natural way
you set up an ending.

Conflict within
the escaping unit,

conflict with outside forces,

mental and emotional conflicts
within each character,

and we're all set up
for that, but, of course,

much more important is taking
a bath under the waterfall

and arguing over
who forgot the can opener.

You think I'm kidding.
I'm not.

Alright, what else can I tell
you about this stuff?

Let me fill you in a little more
on Cirio Santiago.

He was about 40 years old
when he made this,

but he had already
made dozens of movies.

His father was the founder
of Premiere Productions

in Manila in 1946.

That was one of the Big Four
studios in the Philippines

during the rebuilding period
after World War II,

when the whole country
was crazy about cinema.

And I'm sure you won't be
surprised to find out that,

of the four main
production companies,

Premiere specialized in action,
especially war films.

Cirio Santiago started out
as a writer

and a producer at the age of 19,

and he didn't really
make anything

for the English-language market

until he started collaborating
with Roger Corman

in the early '70s.

The first thing they did
together was "Savage!,"

which was
a blaxploitation film

about the black leader
of a rebel army,

with a super-soul soundtrack --

That's what they called it --

starring an actor that Corman
had used in a biker film

and had been in a couple
of Russ Meyer films,

James Iglehart.

James Iglehart never really
caught on

as a blaxploitation star,
but the movie was a success,

and that led to "TNT Jackson,"

with Jeannie Bell
doing a lot of kung fu

in the nude in the title role

as she avenges the death
of her brother

at the hands
of vicious drug dealers.

And this is telling.

What made the Roger Corman
produced movies

better than the ones
Cirio Santiago produced himself

is that Corman based
"TNT Jackson"

on a Dashiell Hammett story

that he had purchased
the rights to,

called "Red Harvest."

As time went on, Corman would
send American directors

over to the Philippines
to do the movies

that he thought needed
an American point of view,

and he would just have Cirio
line-produce the movies.

But he directed many pro--

Cirio directed many projects
on his own

and they always had
great titles --

"Fly Me,"

flight attendants battling
kung-fu killers,

"Cover Girl Models,"
"Vampire Hookers"

with John Carradine
and a team of vampire beauties,

"Fighting Mad,"
"Hell Hole," "Caged Fury,"

"Naked Vengeance,"
"Silk" starring Cec Verrell

as the toughest cop
in Honolulu,

"Angel Fist," "Bloodfist."

He was making movies
right up

until his death in 2008.

In fact, his final film
"Water Wars" --

also called "Road Raiders" --

was a "Mad Max"
post-apocalyptic thing

that was finished
by Jim Wynorski.

Cirio learned about
women-in-prison movies,

though, from Jack Hill,

because Jack was the producer
on "The Big Doll House,"

"The Big Bird Cage,"
and "Women in Cages,"

but the first one done
entirely by Santiago

was "Ebony, Ivory & Jade,"

also called "She Devils in
Chains" in some markets

and "American Beauty Hostages"
in other markets.

He worked with the young
Jonathan Demme a lot.

He directed one of
Jonathan Demme's early scripts,

"Hot Box,"
women-in-prison movie,

also called "Hell Cats."

He did a "Jaws" ripoff,
"Up from the Depths."

He did a bunch
of Vietnam movies.

And then in the '80s,
he made a whole slew

of post-apocalyptic flicks
and "Rambo" ripoffs.

He also did sword-and-sorcery
during that period

right after
"Conan the Barbarian" came out.

Anyway, definitely what
you would call

a journeyman director.

Everybody liked him.

Well, editors
didn't care for him

because he never seemed
to have enough coverage.

His work was sometimes
subject to reshoots,

but personally
everybody liked him.

Alright, where were we?

Oh, yes, our four fugitives are
clambering through the jungle

on their way to the coast.

It's time for Serena's
cat speech.

Don't look away.

Roll it.
[Chuckles]

When Jeannie Bell
made this movie,

she was living
with Richard Burton.

They were living together
in Switzerland.

How does that work?

You know, "Would you like to
come to Manila with me, honey,

or just stay here in the
mountains with your whiskey?"

You know, they had
actually met shortly before

appearing together in one of
the worst movies ever made --

"The Klansman."

If you've been to my live show,

you've heard me talk
about that movie at length.

Jeannie Bell had a very
practical attitude

towards modeling and acting.

She wanted to find a man
who could take care of her

and her daughter.

She didn't party,
she didn't smoke,

she didn't drink,
she didn't hang out on the set,

she went to bed early,

she didn't get to know too many
people in the business,

but when rich and powerful men
showed an interest in her,

she was willing
to give them a chance,

because that represented
security to her.

She had grown up in
the Fifth Ward of Houston,

poorest part of Houston,

and she didn't wanna
go back there.

Modeling had gotten her
out of the Fifth Ward,

her Playboy centerfold
had gotten her into acting,

and that led to chances
to trade up in the world.

So, she couldn't handle
Richard Burton's drinking,

though, and so they broke up,
you know, a couple years

after this movie,
and she married Gary Judis,

who was the chairman of
Aames Home Loan

and a millionaire,
and she was done

with show business,
and they're still married today.

So, she had about
an eight-year career.

The highlights were
"TNT Jackson."

She was the topless dancer
at Volpe's Bar

in Martin Scorsese's
breakout movie, "Mean Streets."

She's in the Guinness Book
of World Records

She's the world's oldest
competitive rope skipper.

She's still competing
at the age of 80.

Yes, that's what I said.

You know, I like saying things
that make people

immediately scramble for Google.

You know, "Is that true?
Joe Bob said something weird."

Oldest competitive rope skipper.

Yes, indeed, she is.

[Laughter]
♪♪

[Birds chirping]

[Animals squawking]

Anggie: And to think,
the only thing I ever liked

about the Girl Scouts
is the Boy Scouts.

You never know when you gonna
learn something useful.

I'm learning
something useful,

like staying
of jungle.

I just hope we're the only ones
in the jungle.

Serena, throw out that fire.

You want everybody to know
where we are?

Every time I move,

I can't help feeling
someone's following

right behind me.

It's the jungle.
It's got eyes.

Everywhere you turn,
there's eyes looking at you.

Birds, animals.

You ever have a cat?

You can be sitting at home,

doing something, reading a book,

then that cat
comes in the room,

and he just sits there
in the doorway staring at you.

You know it.

You feel it.

I never felt like no cat was
going drive me back

to that plantation.

[Animals squawking]

Marcie: Serena, are you sure
we're headed to the coast?

Serena: I'm sure.

We're gonna have
to take a rest.

I'm too used to hopping
in my car

when I need to
go someplace.

I don't suppose
den mother here

would let us build
a campfire now?

[Groans]
We don't need a fire.

We just need to sleep.

Or eat.

You don't suppose you could
kill an animal or something.

The gorillas are
close enough as it is.

Oh, shit.

I didn't bring
a can opener.

Oh, that's terrific,Serena.

You planned a hell
of a picnic.

We've got mosquitoes, we've got
ants, we got no can opener.

Listen, do you
wanna go back?

Serena, let me see
one of the cans.

Serena?

[Clanging]

Is this another one
of Monteiro's tortures?

Did he send you out here
to starve us to death?

Do you see her
eating anything?

[Gun cocks]

Dinner is served.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Hey, Serena.
Serena.

Serena!

Hmm? Huh?

[Gasps]
Don't move.

[Screams]

Just like every
other snake I ever met.

Can't leave
my tits alone.

This is gonna hurt.

No more than
it does already.

Just do it.

[Screams]

Look at it this way, Marcie.
It could've been worse.

Snake could've
crawled up your pants.

Oh, please!
Don't make me laugh.

Just get some rest,
and you'll be as good as new.

♪♪

♪♪

Kelly, that way.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Kelly:
I swear someone's watching us.

Anggie: I feel it, too,
and it ain't owls.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[All cheering]

Hey, listen, listen,
we got girls over there.

We gotta get 'em.

We did it! Come on!

The captain's up ahead!

Oh!Come on, now.

Hey!
Tell me what's going on?

[All cheering]

I want you to meet
my fiends.

That's Marcie,
and that's Serena in the back.

They're gonna be friends, boys.Yeah.

[Indistinct conversations]

[Gunshot]

Rocco.

[Speaking Spanish]
Come.

Sí.

[Turko laughing]

Now that the
amenities are over,

may I ask you
to put down your guns?

Serena.

Of course, Turko here
deserves our gratitude, as well.

You low-down bitch!

You set us up!

Drop the gun, Monteiro.

Drop it!

♪♪

Go ahead, shoot!

I dare you to shoot![Speaks Spanish]

♪♪

♪♪

Marcie, get Serena.

[Gun cocks]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Let's go!

Follow me.

[Both speaking Spanish]

[Gunfire]

Go ahead, Serena.

[Gun cocks]
Shoot me.

♪♪

[Screams]

♪♪

Wow. Did we just have
a sisterhood moment

in the middle of a gunfight

after a catfight
brought on by an ambush?

It's all too much for me.

But let's back up
just a little bit.

Obviously, the best
line in the whole movie --

"Just like every other
snake I ever met.

Can't leave my tits alone."

This is the big emotional
part of the film for

Jayne Kennedy as Serena.

Jayne was born
in Washington, D.C.

She moved to Ohio,
became Miss Ohio in 1970

at the age of 19.

And she was interviewed by
the hot local deejay

Leon Isaac Kennedy,
better known as Leon the Lover,

and before she could even finish
out her reign as Miss Ohio,

they were married and plotting
dual careers in Hollywood.

And, as I pointed out before,

she was on a lot of shows
in the '70s.

She became semi-famous
as the first woman

to be hired by the "NFL Today."

But then she and Leon
broke up shortly after making

"Body and Soul" together,
which was directed by Leon.

He would also
direct "Penitentiary."

That's the one
he's mostly known for.

And then she married the actor
Bill Overton in 1985

and raised a family
and hasn't done much since then

in the entertainment world,
other than exercise videos.

Trina Parks, who is hugging her
in the sisterhood moment,

popped back on to
the film scene in 2012

when she made
a film with Dave Dakota,

"Immortal Kiss:
Queen of the Night."

She plays a queen vampire
who gets her slave to invite men

to her Malibu mansion
so she can decide

which one she wants to own
as her perfect eternal mate.

But, in the meantime,
she feeds on the rejects.

Rosanne Katon, as Anggie,
is the one of the four

who just loved
working in the Philippines.

She had grown up
in New York City.

She went to the High School
of the Performing Arts.

She worked on a lot of sitcoms,
like "Good Times,"

"Sanford and Son."

She had a brief recurring role

opposite Denzel Washington
in "St. Elsewhere."

She made her first
Philippines movie in 1974,

"The Swinging Cheerleaders."

Then she was in
"Chesty Anderson U.S. Navy."

Shari Eubank
was her costar in that.

Shari was in the title role.

Shari was a Russ Meyer girl.

And then Rosanne was also
one of the three stars

in "She Devils in Chains."

So she loved working
with Cirio Santiago.

She was still working in TV
up through the '90s,

but her last movie role
was "Harem" in 1985.

That was the Nastassja Kinski,
Ben Kingsley movie

that was a virtual remake of
Rudolph Valentino's "The Sheik."

Anyway, Rosanne Katon
would probably

be best known to this audience
as one of the supporting players

in the classic "Motel Hell."

Okay. I love the way

Cirio Santiago set up
the ending of this movie.

Kelly and Anggie are reunited
with The Muthers,

but Turko's gang
is out there, too.

Turko may or may not be in
league with the militia,

run by the
white slaver Monteiro.

So it's a three-way gunfight
on land with three gangs

with different motives,

and then there are two gunships
right off the coast.

Everybody has plenty
of weaponry and plenty of ammo.

So let's party.

The thrilling conclusion of
"The Muthers."

And the question remains
near the end of the movie --

why are they called
The Muthers?

Because -- Since none of them
seem to be mothers.

The fact that
it's spelled with a "U"

indicates somebody was
attempting a reference to being

a mean mother, which had been
a term for a badass

ever since Isaac Hayes put it in
the "Theme From Shaft,"

you know?

"You're a mean mother.
Shut your mouth."

You know, isn't that the
lyric from "Shaft"?

The fact that they had
the first, last, and only movie

with four kick-ass female
African-American leads --

That was their gimmick,

but they kind of undermined
the power of it

with that title, I think,
you know?

This movie came out at the
tail end of Blaxploitation,

although Cirio Santiago --

he continued to make
black action films

well into the '80s.

And his analysis
of why Blaxploitation died

was that several
African-American leaders

came out against the movies

and there were some
African-American church leaders

who thought the movies
were a bad social example.

And I'm not sure why.
I guess because of the violence.

And that caused
the audience to dwindle.

And Fred Williamson
and a few other directors

continued to make these movies,
but, for the most part,

they were gone from
movie screens by 1977.

And it could be the genre
just died a natural death

by becoming formulaic.

"The Muthers"
is formulaic as it can be,

basically a series of clichés.

But, as I said at the beginning,
this is junk-food night,

and I refuse
to apologize for that.

And, Jeanie Bell,
wherever you are,

a toast to your achievements.

Keep skipping that rope, girl.

We got some Lady Tarzan
moves coming up here

and with bad sisters wearing
tight turtlenecks in the jungle,

because that's how they roll.

Power to The Muthers.

[Laughter]
♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Shouting in native language]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Come on, Marcie!
Hurry!

Serena!

[Speaking Spanish]

Serena, for the last time,
come back here!

Get out of
here, Marcie.

I'm not leaving you
here, Serena.

Come on!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Magazine!

Let's get back
in the boat!

Kelly, Turko!

To the beach!

Quick,
cover the bridge!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

That's them!
Follow me!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Get back,
you guys!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

It's Turko!

♪♪

How the hell do
we get out of this?

♪♪

I'll
get Monteiro.

Anggie!

Rocco,
get the boys ready.

Marcie,
get that gun ready!

Come on, faster!

Come on, Capitan,
load that gun!

Come on!
Come on, hurry!

♪♪

♪♪

Steady as she goes.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Hard right!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Hold on tight!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Rocco, tell the captain,
back to the beach.

Rocco:
Capitan, to the beach!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

At last, we're free,
never to go home.

Kelly: But we are home.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

"We're lost at sea,
never to go home."

"But we are home."
[Laughter]

The Muthers
on their pirate ship.

The perfect Mother's Day
message after hundreds are dead

in the 1976 Filipino
blaxploitation women-in-prison,

Kung Fu, maritime feminist
pirate jungle adventure

with automatic-weapons fire.

Did you notice that The Muthers
get safely to their ship

and then decide to go back to
shore to kill Monteiro?

Also, does anybody notice
that they totally failed

in their goal,
which was to rescue Sandy

from the coffee-plantation
prison?

In fact, there's a scene where
they recognize Sandy in a car,

only to be told
in the next scene

that she escaped from the prison
two days earlier.

So who was in the car?

Only to discover
her executed body

two scenes after that.

I guess after that,
it becomes a revenge movie.

So it's not over
until Monteiro is dead.

And that's Tony Carreon
as the despicable Monteiro.

Veteran character actor.

175 Filipino movies,
going all the way back to 1969.

He was the go-to bad guy
for a lot of

made-in-Philippines
action films.

Passed away in 2003, sadly.

In the subgenre of female
blaxploitation pirate flicks,

"The Muthers"...

Well, that was pretty much
the only one.

But the same stunt teams
that worked on this film

also worked on one of the other

"only in the Philippines"
genres,

the midget spy film,

starring the 2'9"
starring martial artist

Weng Weng
as a pint-sized James Bond.

The most famous Weng Weng film
is "For Y'ur Height Only"...

[Laughter]

...released in 1981,
just three years

before Weng Weng died
at the age of 34.

One more factoid I want
to take note of --

at the height of the
made-in-Philippines craze,

Sam Sherman and Al Adamson

made a movie in California
called "Brain of Blood."

They pretended it was made
in the Philippines to get more

publicity for it.

Roger Corman stopped making
Philippines movies in 1975

after he wrapped
"Cover Girl Models."

He said it was
getting too expensive,

and the market was saturated
with Philippines movies.

But he went back to
Cirio Santiago in the '80s

to make
sword-and-sorcery movies

and post-apocalypse
"Mad Max"-style movies,

because both of those genres
need lots of space

and lots of extras
and lots of cheap costumes.

And Cannon Films
also had a big presence

in the Philippines in the '80s.

They made the Sho Kosugi
"Ninja" Films.

They made
"American Ninja" there.

They made
the Chuck Norris films,

like "Missing in Action,"
"Behind Enemy Lines."

And later on,
they made what were called

the chop-chop films,
the Grisliest films ever made,

based on true crimes.

Cirio Santiago
never stopped making movies,

but toward the end of his life,

he was back to making
"Bakya" films.

Now, "bakya" is the put-down
term that people in the industry

use for cheap films
made in the Tagalog language.

And "bakya" refers
to the wooden shoes

that are worn by the lower
classes in the Philippines,

because they would pound
their wooden shoes

on the floor
of the theater to show

their approval for the movie.

So, come on over, Darcy.

What do you think
of "The Muthers"?

Oh, it's like
a time capsule.

A time capsule
of what, though?

Oh, of everything.

Of clothing styles,
music,

types of films that
they don't make anymore.

It's true they don't make
these anymore.

What about the acting?I mean, that doesn't matter.

It's, like, four badass babes
running half naked

through the jungle.

Like, what's better
than that?

I just thought it was
a little confusing.

That's why I didn't give it a --I mean, yeah, but in a fun way.

Okay.

Quentin Tarantino once
called it his favorite movie.

How many movies has he called
his favorite movie?

Exactly. 9,000?Yeah.

I think he does that
to promote films

that people wouldn't hear
about otherwise.

Which is sort of
what we do, so...

So you go for it, Quentin.
Alright.

Got any mail?Ooh! I do.

There you go.Alright.

This comes from James Lovett
of Mesa, Arizona.

Okay.

"Hello, Joe Bob.

Back in the '90s,
Claypool Comics put out

an Elvira series.

Issues 18 to 23
featured parody versions

of popular movie hosts,

including a character
called Billy Beau Braggard

of the Movie Network's
'Drive-Thru Takeout.'

Joe Bob -- I mean, Billy Beau

would return for Issue 27,
as well.

I wasn't sure if you were
ever aware of the series,

but hopefully
you found this interesting.

I'm going to try to include
some images in the message

and in an attachment."

Okay. Thank you, James.
I have not seen these.

Where's the attachment?

Actually, I have
something better.

I have the actual comics.
So, here they are.

And there you are.

Oh, really?Mm-hmm.

That's not me.

Billy Beau Braggard.

Were they making fun of me?

I think it's kind of
a non-suable tribute.

Did a lot of people
read these comics?

No, I don't think so.

So, what am I doing
in these stories?

Well, in the first one,

you're kind of
in the background,

but the second one
is literally all about you.

Really?
I'm in the main story?

Yeah.
You're the only story.

You get canceled and essentially
fired from your TV job.

Wow. Too real.Mm-hmm.

and that does not
go very well.

I'm an inept weatherman?Yes, you are.

So, then you and Elvira decide
to host a show together,

which you should totally do
in real life.

But then you decide
to quit hosting

and become a
college professor.

Who wrote these?

I mean, really talented people
all worked together.

And they thought I would
end up at a university

and not get canceled
at a university?

People get canceled
in universities for teaching

the George Washington
cherry-tree story, so...

On one of
the shows with Elvira,

you are actually talking
about the Philippines.

Oh, really?Mm-hmm.

"The Utilities Guy
of Blood Island,"

and you talk about
the Blood Island movie.

"Utilities Guy of Blood Island"?Mm-hmm.

Yep.
Yeah?

Wow. This is like...

"Shoo-ey!"

This is me talking.Uh-huh.

that make those
'Blood Island' flicks."

[Laughter]

Have you ever heard me
say "shoo-ey"?

Shoo-ey!

No, but you rock it.

You know who says that?
Do you know who says "shoo-ey"?

Buddy Ebsen as Jed Clampett.

He was always saying "shoo-ey!"

I like it.

One of these is
a six-part serial called

"The Host Dangerous Game."

"The Host
Dangerous Game"?

Instead of "The Most
Dangerous Game." Get it?

Okay.

And all the movie hosts
are in a house together,

but only one will survive,

and the rest
will be dead by morning.

Really? Do I survive?

I mean, I guess you do,
because you're in a later issue.

There they are.You see it?

[Laughs]Right.

So, who are
the other hosts?

They have
Wanda and Sullivan,

hosts of
"America Home All Night."

Okay, Rhonda Shear
and Gilbert Gottfried. Alright.

You have The Creep
from Home Ticket Machine's

"Tales from the Creep."

Okay, the Crypt Keeper.Yep.

Parker Pine Valeley,
host and trivia expert

on cable's
"All My Classics."

Oh, okay.
That's got to be Robert Osborne.

I think it's Nick Clooney,
but yeah.

Okay. Nick Clooney.

Okay.
"All My Classics."

Yeah.Alright.

Artemis Figg,
the English actress and ex-spy,

who hosts PVC's
"Enigma" anthology series.

I don't know
that one.

Could that be, uh...

Could that be
Diana Rigg, maybe?

I wasn't sure either,
but sure, maybe.

Just judging by the "Figg"
you know, and the ex-spy thing.

Yeah, okay.

But they also have
Joe L. Skywalker

and his two
wisecracking robots,

Rudy and Fawn Cerval,

hosts of "Whodunnit
High Tech Cinema 2001."

Okay,
"Mystery Science Theater."

Yes.That's an elaborate comic book.

I mean --

There's a part in there
where you say you want to neck

with Elvira
in your last minutes on Earth.

Neck? I want to
neck with her?

That is the word you use.Okay, awesome.

And you also review
a blaxploitation movie.

Oh, yeah.I bookmarked that one for you.

Yeah, that's the one that --
That's the one I showed.

"Coco Jackson."Right.

With a machine gun.
Alright.

I'm going to read these.

Is there a Darcy comic?

No, but I've been featured
in a few of them.

I would buy
a comic called

"Darcy:
The Complete True Story."

You will never
see that one.

I would settle for "Darcy:
The Half-Truth Story," actually.

Okay, that might --
I could go for that one.

Alright, well,
this has been

a very interesting
Mother's Day special.

Happy Mother's Day
to you, Darcy,

and to all mothers
watching,

including mothers
who spell mother with a "U."

And I'm Joe Bob Briggs

reminding you that
Tuesday and Wednesday night,

we will be back at
Majestic theaters in Phoenix --

actually, Tempe one night
and Chandler the next night.

And you'll be there
for that, right?

You're coming
for that.

You couldn't do it
without me.

Alright. True.

And, in the meantime,

I'm reminding you
that consciousness is

that annoying time between naps.

And the drive-in
will never die.

Priest and a nun
get caught in a blizzard.

Not another
Catholic joke.

Not really
a Catholic joke.

So, the priest and the nun
find a deserted cabin

and they take shelter and they
rummage around in the cabin

and they find a sleeping bag,
a bed, and a pile of blankets.

So the priest,
being a gentleman --

he offers the nun the bed

and he takes the sleeping bag
for himself.

And, so, as they get tucked in
for the night,

the nun calls out,
"Father, I'm cold."

So the priest gets up.

He puts an extra blanket
on the nun.

He says, "Is that better?"

She says,
"Yes, Father, much better."

So, he gets back
in his sleeping bag

and he starts to nod off,
and she again calls out,

"Father, I'm still cold."

So, once again,
the priest gets up.

He puts another blanket on her.

He ensures she's tucked
into the bed very well.

"Is that better, Sister?"

You know, "Oh, yes, Father,
That's much better."

So, the priest gets himself back
into his sleeping bag,

and this time,
he's just starting to dream

when he wakes up
to her call of,

"Father, Father,
I'm just so cold."

And so the priest thinks about
this situation for a while.

And, finally he says, "Sister,

we are in the middle of nowhere
in a blizzard.

There's no one but you,
myself, and the Lord Himself

who will ever know
what happens here this night.

How about,
just for this one night,

we act as though
we were married?"

So, the nun thinks
about that for a minute,

and she can't help
but admit to herself

she's been curious
about marriage.

And so she finally answers
with a tentative, "Okay, Father.

Just for tonight, we will act
as though we're married."

The priest says, "Get up

and get your own
damn blanket, you cow."

[Laughter]

Rolls over and falls asleep.

That's your
Mother's Day joke? Really?

That's my
Mother's Day joke.

[Laughter]

♪♪

♪ We are drive-in mutants

♪ We are not like other people

♪ We are sick

♪ We are disgusting

♪ We believe in

♪ Yeah, we believe in

♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

♪ Yeah, we believe in blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

♪ If life had a vomit meter

♪ We'd be off the scale

♪ As long as
one drive-in remains

on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like
jungle animals ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke

♪ The drive-in will never die

♪ We will boogie till we puke

♪ The drive-in will never die

♪ We believe in blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

♪ We believe in blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

♪ Yeah, we believe in