All language subtitles for The.Last.Drive-In.With.Joe.Bob.Briggs.S20E04.The.Devils.Rain.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BFM_track3_[eng]

-Okay. I'm Joe Bob Briggs.

And for the second
half of Walpurgisnacht,

we have not only
a Satanic movie,

but the high priest
of the Church of Satan

in a bit part in the movie.

And the only reason
he's in a bit part

is that he can't compete
with Ernest Borgnine

as an immortal,
satanic cult leader

who has been searching
for the Book of the Damned

for the past 300 years

while living in
a Wild West ghost town.

Yes, it's true. We have one of
the finest motion pictures

invented by
the Writers Committee

of the Colombo crime
family of New York City.

I'm not making that up.
The Colombo family

went into the film business,
and in a few minutes --

[Guitar chord]

-♪ Walpurgisnacht,
Walpurgisnacht ♪

[Both cackling]

-What the hell, Darcy?

-We're on our way
to the Brocken.

You want to come?

-Well, I'm going to put a stop
to that trip to the Brocken

with my fairy herb torch.
You know that.

-Onto the witches' dance floor!
[Cackles]

-Come on, y'all! You'll have way
more fun at the Brocken.

This is not even a union crew.

See you in the morning, nerd.

-You know, Darcy,
it's possible

to take this stuff way
too seriously.

-To the Brocken!
-To the Brocken!

-[Cackling]

-Here you go, sir.

[Laughter]

-To the Brocken.

-Yuki, do you even know
what the Brocken is?

-Uh, no.

-Okay, then.
Come on. Sit here.

Help me fight this madness.

-Okay.
-Okay.

Well, the good news is that
with the entire "Last Drive-In"

crew apparently preferring
to join the witches

instead of burning
the witches,

at least we've stoked
some interest

in the Walpurgisnacht holiday
for this season.

I guess I'm the last defender
of the conventional wisdom

that witches are bad news.

Once again, the Boomer
is the naive loser, right?

Millennials are into orgies,
though.

We know this from those dudes
who burned up $32 billion

in crypto in about three days
last November.

You know, they were all
in their late 20s.

That's Millennials, right?
Is that Millennials?

Austin?
Is that Millennials or Gen Zs?

-It could be a little of both.
-Okay.

I've never known
where the dividing line is.

I think it's 1994.

Anyway, you had these
Millennials and post-Millennials

living in a $45 million
penthouse in the Bahamas,

and they're in charge
of $32 billion

worth of other people's money
through a crypto exchange

and a crypto trading company.

And, okay, that's only half of
what Bernie Madoff had.

But they were
just getting started.

But that's not what
I'm interested in.

What I'm interested in is that
they lived in a polycule.

Which I had never heard
that word before,

but that's where 10 people

have interchangeable
sex partners like,

"Hey, Carol, as soon as you
finish that $20 million trade,

let's make the sign of
the humpback trumpet swan

in the game room."

And then she says,
"Sure thing, Ichabod.

But first I have to do
a three-way

with Jenny and Trevor
in the kitchen."

And Ichabod has to go place
some crypto bids

while he's waiting
to have sex.

Or, more likely, he decides
to play board games

because, besides orgies,

they were big on board games
and vegan food.

They had $5,000
takeout vegan food bills

at the local vegan place.

So they were role-playing
millennial

vegan crypto orgiastic
board game enthusiasts

who believed in the idea --
this is what they called it --

effective altruism.

And effective altruism

means you make
as much money as possible

through any means
necessary in order

to give the money
away to the places

where it will be
most effective.

And they had algorithms
that indicated

where the money should be placed
after you make a big pile of it.

So they're like, "Hey, after you
guys get, you know,

finished making the sign of

the three-gilled Chinese
stud monkey,

be sure to get
an extra $5 million

for the new electrical
grid system in Borneo,

because that's what's
coming up on my laptop.

I'm going to pause
the Scrabble game

till Paul comes back from yoga."

And, so, am I the only guy who's
fascinated by these people?

I mean, on Monday,
they're worth $32 billion.

On Thursday, they're worth zero.
And then, a month later,

the head of the whole enterprise
is in handcuffs

and playing board games
in the jail

where, you know, threesomes
might not be uncommon,

but you probably don't want
to know how they get started.

So, anyway, I ended up
with a new respect

for Silicon Valley Millennials
because, you know,

they took orgies
to a whole new level.

They created permanent orgies.

They were headed
for the next wave

of Supreme Court liberation.

They were destined
to be the test case

as to whether 10 people can be
legally married

to one another
in various combinations.

And they would feel right
at home on Walpurgisnacht.

But they would definitely
be headed for the Brocken

with Darcy.

My own generation,
on the other hand,

wants the guy
that you write the check to

to be really, really boring.

You know, you want him
to drive a Chevy sedan

and go to the most
middle-of-the-road

milquetoast Presbyterian Church
in Kansas.

You want him to belong
to a bowling league.

You know, you want him
to be terrified

of getting a parking ticket.
And as soon as he says,

"By the way, we're moving
the operation to the Bahamas,

and I'll be running it
out of a penthouse

with nine of my closest
associates," everybody goes,

"Whoops, sorry, Stan, give me
all my money back right now.

You know, we don't want to read
about the $5,000

vegan takeout bill.

If we're going to invest money
in something,

we want the guy to be wearing a
plaid jacket with a brown tie."

You know,
and that's another thing

about the Bahamas Millennials.

They did business in T-shirts,
cargo shorts, and sneakers.

Even when they were
being interviewed

by "The New York Times,"
they were, like, too busy

to get dressed
or to shower, for that matter.

They also went weeks
without showering,

which would seem
to be counterintuitive

if you're going to have sex
with nine other people

on a more or less regular basis.
So call me old-fashioned.

You know, I want
my investment guy to shower.

But when they go to -- when they
got to the bankruptcy court,

the overseer of the company,

the same guy who picked up
the pieces after Enron,

he told Congress
that these people

didn't even have paperwork.

A lot of the money was just
gone, missing, unaccounted for.

And with Madoff, see,
they were able to find out

where he had spent the money
and go claw it back.

They actually clawed back
88% of the Madoff money.

This money was vaporized.

It was like the day after
a kegger at the frat house.

You know,
"Hey, did anybody get a receipt

for the Jack Daniel's
and the Smirnoff?"

"No."
"Okay.

Well, I have a pretty good idea
of how many empties we had.

We can figure that out later."

I mean, we think of Millennials
as kind of wimpy,

or at least I think of
Millennials as kind of wimpy.

But these people were hard core.

Okay. Speaking of hard core,
our second movie tonight --

and I'm still weirded out

because I think Darcy
is headed for the Brocken

with a bunch of singing demons.

Our second movie tonight
is "The Devil's Rain,"

the cute little story of the
Satan-worshiping New England

Puritan minister
played by Ernest Borgnine

who turns into a pig-faced
ram-horned devil monster

and tries to poke out
the eyes of every member

of William Shatner's family
until his brother, Tom Skerritt,

decides to go out to Borgnine's
hellhole of a church

in the Mexican desert
and take a little look-see

with the help of
Sheriff Keenan Wynn.

But not before Skerritt's
hottie wife can be abducted

and prepared
for sexual sacrifice.

I was about to say
"virgin sacrifice,"

which I think is what
they say in the movie,

but she's a wife, not a virgin,
unless they're somehow implying

that she's a virgin beard
for Tom Skerritt.

And that's just too weird,
even for this movie.

One of the last
feature performances

of the legendary Ida Lupino,

the actress, director, producer,
singer, writer known...

She's actually just known
for being Ida Lupino.

People say,
"Oh, yeah, Ida Lupino.

Love her.
What was she in?"

You know, Ida Lupino.

One thing she was in
was "The Devil's Rain,"

along with a 20-year-old
John Travolta in his first film.

So let's take a look at those
drive-in totals and get started.

We have...

"Drive-In" Academy Award
nominations for William Shatner

as the pistol-packing loyal son

who looks all lumberjack-y
and ripped

until he gets transformed
into a minion of Satan.

Ida Lupino
as the spooked mom who says,

"My dream was a warning.
They found us."

and ends up
with bloody eye sockets.

Ernest Borgnine for burning up
real good in the 16th century,

then coming back
as a goat-headed high priest.

John Travolta for delivering his
one line with utter conviction.

Joan Prather as Julie
for being strapped to a cross

and prepared for human sacrifice
as the great Harlot of Babylon

while the goat god pronounces,
"Our lust will be fulfilled."

And Robert Fuest,
the director, for saying,

"I kept asking them to explain
the meaning of the script."

Three stars,
Joe Bob says check it out.

Okay.

A lot going on
this Walpurgisnacht.

And apparently the Mail Girl is
not going to be around for mail.

And apparently John Brennan
and half the crew

are out having woodland revels
or something, cutting capers

on the Satanic mountain
summits, you know?

I'm just going to have
a little herbal Lone Star here.

[Laughter]

Before I figure out
my next move.

You know, in the regions
of Bohemia and Moravia,

where the best witch fighters
in the world live,

they have three kinds
of bonfires.

You know, they have the --
the teepee fire

Self-explanatory.

You tie the logs together
at one end

and you splay them out
like a Christmas tree.

They have the pagoda fire.
A little bigger

'cause it's got those big logs
sticking out on the sides.

It's what we used to do
in the Order of the Arrow,

which, as many of you know,
is kind of the --

kind of the CIA
of the Boy Scouts.

It's this elite
camping organization.

It's supposed to be secret.

Oh, no.
I revealed that I was in --

that I was in the order
of the arrow.

I have to be assassinated now.

Anyway, the pagoda fire
burns longer.

And then,
the Burning Man bonfire.

That sucker is 66 feet tall.

I think we got to go
Burning Man. You know?

I think Darcy and her seductive
stripper witch costume

or whatever have to be thrust
into the flames

and fried like a crispy critter.
Does everybody agree?

-Yeah.
-No. No. Boo. Boo.

-Boo!
-Boo!

-Boo!
-Boo!

-You know, I've been in this
business all my life,

and I never knew
I was working with Satanists!

They're everywhere.
Are you a Satanist, Yuki?

-No.

-Good. We'll work together.
I knew I could trust you.

-Why?

-Well, because you're
not interested in orgies

on the mountain
with witches, right? Yuki?

-What?

-You're not interested in orgies
on the mountains with witches...

Yuki.

-Uh, n-no.

-Thank you.

♪♪

♪♪

-Let me out of here!

[Eerie moaning]

♪♪

[Sobbing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Sobbing, moaning continue]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Sobbing, moaning continue]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Let me out of here!

♪♪

[Sobbing, moaning continue]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Sobbing, moaning continue]

Let me out of here!

♪♪

[Sobbing, moaning continue]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

[Thunder crashes]

-I've just made you a fresh
pot of coffee, Mrs. Preston.

-Hmm?
-A fresh pot.

-No, thank you John, no.

-Is it slacking off
any out there?

-John, it's absolutely
pouring down.

-Oh!

-I'm sorry, I'm so clumsy.

-Oh, no, don't worry about it.

I'll just get you a fresh cup.

-Thank you.
-Now, you relax.

[Mutters]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Door opens]

-Mark? Steve?

Mark!

Well?

-No sign of him.

Or the truck.

I got as far as
Simpson's Bridge,

or what's left of it -- the
river's about swept it away.

-He couldn't have just
disappeared, he couldn't.

-He probably pulled off
someplace to wait the storm out.

It's still dead.
-I know.

-Winds knocked the lines down.

-I don't think so.

-What else could it be?
It's only the storm.

-Mark, don't think I'm a fool --
-Mother, don't start now.

-Please listen to me.
-Please don't st--

-It's my dream!
-I know, I know.

Your dream --
-Will you listen to me?

It's the same, night
after night!

-Night after night, yes,
I know that mother.

-Yes!

-I don't want to hear
any more about it.

-Mark, listen to me, it
always starts the same way.

It starts with a storm
and then your father --

-Father is all right.

It's all right.

-But --
-Mother, no.

[Dog barking]

-Someone's here.

-Dad?

Oh, my God.
-Steve?

Steve?

-The book.

Corbis.

-Oh, God help us.

-Where is Corbis?

-The desert.

Redstone.

He's waiting for the book.

Give Corbis what belongs to him.

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-[Groans]

♪♪

Don't go near him,
don't touch him.

-[Speaking Latin]

-[Repeats in Latin]

"In the name of Satan."

That wasn't your father.

-It was his face, his clothes.

♪♪

♪♪

-Mark!

The book!

Don't you see?

Don't you see, my dream
was a warning.

My dream was a warning.

They've found us.

♪♪

[Thunder crashing]

♪♪

♪♪

Corbis has your father.

It wasn't him, Mark, I tell you.

I tell you, it wasn't him.

He said -- He said Corbis
was in Redstone,

the old mining town.

-It's a godforsaken place.

-Wait a minute.

Mark, take the book to Corbis.

It's the only way.

-The book's not ours
to bargain with.

-Oh, please, take it.

-No, I won't give the devil's
man what he wants.

-Your father would've --
-My father...

would agree with me.

-Mark, there must be
something you can do.

-Yeah.

I'll fight him on my terms,
not his.

-Listen, take this with you.

Corbis can't harm you as
long as you wear this amulet.

[Horn honks]

-He's here. It's the truck.

No, you stay here.

John.
-Yes?

-Take care of her.
-I will.

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Crashing, clattering,
Mrs. Preston screaming]

[Glass shattering]

[Screaming continues]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Moaning]

♪♪

-John.

-[Muttering]

-Hang on, hang on tight.

It's all right.

♪♪

-Get out.
-What?

Mother?

Mother!

-She's gone...

over the sun.

-Corbis!

God damn you!

[Thunder crashing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I'll be back.

♪♪

-They had no faces.

♪♪

[Engine turns over]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Wind whistling]

♪♪

[Metal creaking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Looks like you've been
driving a ways.

Are you lost?

-No, I'm not lost.

-Use some water?

Drink up.

-It's bitter.

-Sweet way to end a
thirst though, isn't it?

Did you bring the book?

-I'll talk to no
one but Corbis.

-Then speak --
where is the book?

-Where you can't touch it.

I'm not afraid of you, Corbis.

-Mr. Preston, I'd be very
disappointed if you were.

We've both come a very
long way for this moment.

-And I've a ways to go yet
before I find what I'm after.

-Well, if you're led by
a faith as strong as mine,

nothing can stop you.

-Depends what you put
your faith in.

-Well said.

Let me show you what I've
put my faith in.

-Corbis!

I'll face whatever you
have behind those doors

and come out exactly
as I went in.

-A challenge?

My faith against yours.

-For my mother and father.

They go with me if I win.

-Agreed.

And if you lose?

-The book.

-And you.

[Laughs]

-There's a shot
I always remember

when I think about this movie,

and it's that shot
of Ernest Borgnine as Corbis

leaning on that hitching post
in the foreground,

talking side-eyed to Shatner
in the background.

And, damn, if you don't think

you're in the middle
of a classic Western

where death lurks around
every corner.

If you're surprised to see
the beautiful cinematography

with that gorgeous overcast
big sky and the buttes

and the mesas
in the middle distance,

like you're in a John Ford movie
or something,

that's because the director,
Robert Fuest,

was an artist, a painter,
and more to the point,

the art director
for "The Avengers,"

one of the greatest TV series

to come out of England
in the '60s.

And if you remember
"The Avengers,"

it was full of uncanny
locations, extreme angles.

They would shoot two people

talking in the middle
of an empty room

with a jib circling around them
and a chess set between them,

or they would shoot them
in silhouette

at the end
of a drainage pipe.

"The Avengers" was a production
designer's dream.

It was all about
in-your-face camerawork,

as though to say, "I'll bet you
never thought of this angle

with this lens
for this type of scene."

And that's where Robert Fuest
spent several years of his life,

making those art
direction decisions.

But the way he ended up
in the loneliest part

of the state of Durango
in Mexico

shooting a horror film
is that, by 1975,

he had become known
for the "Dr. Phibes" movies

starring Vincent Price.

Those movies were considered
some of the best work

that Vincent Price ever did.

"The Devil's Rain" was produced
by Sandy Howard,

who was very familiar
with the state of Durango

because that's where he shot
"A Man Called Horse,"

the 1970 Western
starring Richard Harris

as the English aristocrat
captured by Indians,

who goes native and he runs
for chief of his village.

It's been a while
since I've seen that movie,

so I don't remember
everything about it.

But I do --

I don't think he ever
quite makes it as the chief.

Anyway, Sandy Howard
approached Fuest

on the basis of admiring
those "Dr. Phibes" movies,

and he hired him
for "The Devil's Rain,"

and they shot it in Durango
because Sandy Howard

knew how to stretch
his dollar down there.

But what he did not tell
Robert Fuest

is that all the script --

Number one, the script
couldn't be changed because...

it's the script
the Mafia wanted.

[Laughter]

The Colombo crime family
of New York City

had formed a company
called Bryanston Pictures

because they needed
a way to launder

all the motion picture money

that was coming in
from "Deep Throat,"

the first porn blockbuster.

And more recently,
they were getting money in

from
"The Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

They had picked it up
for $225,000,

and they distributed it
all over the world

without ever paying
the filmmakers

and investors anything more than
that initial 225.

So classic mob move, you know,
overpay at the beginning

and then assume
ownership forever.

Bryanston was run
by the Peraino brothers --

the enormous Lou Peraino,
better known as "Butchie,"

and his brother, Joe Peraino.

And while they had Robert Fuest
working on "The Devil's Rain,"

they pitched him
another movie about --

They had another script.

The Colombo family
was just turning out

these scripts like crazy.

They had another movie
about a bank robbery,

a script in which the bank
robbers plan the robbery,

carry out the robbery,
and get away with all the money

with never anything
going wrong.

And, so, Fuest actually sat
in a meeting

with the Colombo people,
where he tried to tell them

that a heist movie
can never go according to plan.

And they were like, "Why?"

And, so, anyway,
I thought that was funny.

One reason this movie
has so many stars in it

is that Bryanston liked
to spend money on name actors

because they were still looking
for legitimacy in Hollywood.

Robert Fuest said he met

with the screenwriters
a couple of times

and he suggested changes
in "The Devil's Reign" script

to make it make more sense.

But they just said,
"Nah, it makes sense,

shoot it the way it is."
And so he shot it

without knowing exactly
what he was shooting.

Anyway, my main point is,
those beautiful outdoor shots

and the menacing look
of the ghost town,

that's all Robert Fuest

trying to make
something out of nothing.

He was basically a hired hand
on this movie,

using the actors he was told
to use on the script

he was told to shoot.

Okay, before we get back
to the movie,

I would just like to point out

that I have fashioned
all the herbs

and other substances
into this attack torch.

Which, once you see it on fire,

you'll see I can use it
to easily eliminate

Darcy and her Satanic hordes
later tonight.

I'll be recruiting
the lads of this village.

What is the name
of this village?

I forgot.

-It's the village
of East Hanover.

-East Hanover.

So the lads of East Hanover
will be waving

burning besoms through the air.

What are lads anyway?

I think it means
teenage boys.

So we'll be taking
these teenage boys.

We'll be nailing bits
of buckthorn over all entrances.

What's buckthorn?
-I don't know.

-Okay, well, we'll --

we'll be nailing the fuck
out of the buckthorn,

and then we're going to
cut some sod from that

meadow across the highway.

Some multi-billion-dollar
multinational corporate campus.

They're not going to miss
any of that sod.

And we will sprinkle it
with marsh marigolds.

That's like a buttercup.

That's an old lady flower.

And then, we'll also be
clinking stones on scythes.

I repeat, we will be clinking
stones on scythes.

But the main thing is our
anti-witch chant.

And the power of this
music that we came up with

can turn witches to stone.

♪ Witch, witch, witch

♪ Flee, flee, flee

♪ Or we will kill you
one, two, three ♪

You want me to do that again?
-Mnh-mnh. No.

I think we should
probably wrap this up.

-All right. Wait.

I can do it with more emotion.
I'll do it one more time.

♪ Witch, witch, witch

♪ Flee, flee, flee

♪ Or we will kill you
one, two, three ♪

[Applause]

And then, you know.
And then, if I was --

If I was doing it
for real on the Brocken,

you know, I'd one of these
at the end.

So, to get the whole effect,
we need to have

the East Hanover lads
here waving burning besoms.

-What's a besom?

-Besoms are handmade brooms,

artisanal craft brooms
made out of sticks.

So very scary.
Okay, back to the movie.

I realize it's hard
to make herbs and flowers scary,

but we're
going to bundle the herbs

into kindling for this torch

and then sally forth
with burning besoms,

according to the ancient
traditions of Lusatia,

which is half in Poland
and half in Germany,

home of the Slavic Sorbs,

not to be confused with
the Serbs, who are also Slavic.

And we are specifically
following the lead

of the Upper Sorbs,
not the Lower Sorbs.

Upper Lusatia and Lower Lusatia
are separated by the Black --

the Black Elster River, which
runs eastward toward Silesia.

Should we just go
to the map on that so --

-No.
-All right.

I'm a little concerned
that they'll confuse

the Walpurgisnacht traditions

of Lower Lusatia
with those of Upper Lusatia.

Especially people
who don't speak Sorbian, so...

-They'll be fine.
-Okay.

We don't have time.
But the point is,

the Sorbian-speaking lads
of Upper Lusatia

took their burning besoms
into the hills and vales,

the heaths and ponds
in a Celtic rite

that has survived successive
waves of Bohemian rule,

Saxon rule, Prussian rule.

And, so, what we're doing
is we're defeating

the demonic forces of evil
by honoring the Lusatian Sorbs.

In fact, we should probably cook
up some boiled potatoes

with linseed oil and curd

and chase it with
some Spreewalder Gurken.

-No, I think we should probably
just get back to the movie.

-Spreewalder Gurken is a type
of very spicy pickle

known only to the Sorbs.

-Hmm. Mm. Good. Good.

-Sorb power!
Flee, witches, flee!

We should sing that song
one more time.

-No.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-The ceremony will
begin shortly.

Would you be seated?

[Chanting in foreign language]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Chanting continues]

[Discordant organ music]

[Speaking Latin]

In the name of Satan,
ruler of the Earth,

king of the world, I command
the forces of darkness

to bestow their
infernal power upon me.

-Who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name.

-Come forth from the abyss,
open wide the gates of Hell.

-Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,

on Earth as it is in Heaven.

-You greet me...
-Preserve my soul...

-...as your brother and friend.
-...from the dark angels

that you have cast
into the fire.

Give us this day our
daily bread.

-I call the gods of the pit.
I command...

-And forgive us our
trespasses...

-...those things
which I desire...

-...as we forgive those
that trespass against us.

-You have bestowed
upon us a vessel

for the sacred rite of
the holy water.

For this, we thank thee
and summon the soul...

-Be my shield against
the terrors of Hell.

-Martin Fyffe, [speaks Latin].

Martin Fyffe,
[speaks Latin].

Martin Fyffe --

-In the name of God,
I am Mark Preston!

-In the name of Satan,

Martin Fyffe,
come into this vessel!

-In the name of God,
I am Mark Preston!

[Chanting in foreign language]

Deliver me from evil.

-Evil?

There is no evil here.

Only purity.

See thy mother?

[Chanting stops]

-My son, we have made
a place for you here,

and you will know the piece
of mind that I have found.

Come.

-Give me strength.

-A divine peace can be yours.

Join us.

-No.

Get away.
Let me go.

-Whose belief is greater now?
-Let me go!

-Seize him!

[Crowd moaning]

♪♪

Is that your faith?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-I'm still free, Corbis.

-Are you free, Mark Preston?

-Free my family.

♪♪

-Come forth,

o' master of the world.

Present thyself to him.

Behold!

♪♪

-Aah...

Aah!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Soon the family name of
Preston will be no more.

-Mrs. Preston,
my associate's wife,

is consciously controlling
the rate of her heartbeat.

She's now in a state of
deep meditation.

-Dr. Richards, you
mean she's controlling her body

through willpower alone?

-Our experiments would
indicate that

there's nothing in
the subconscious

that cannot be raised
to the conscious level.

-Nothing, Doctor?

What about parapsychology,
telepathy?

Can that be controlled, too?

-Yes, I include that,
extrasensory perception.

-Dr. Preston,
isn't there a danger

that these experiments
could interfere

with normal brain activity?

-No, no, no, we've studied
many cases like this,

found there's no reason
for concern at all.

If there were, believe me, my
wife would not be involved.

-No, no, no. No dangers,
only discoveries.

-Is there any proof
of ESP control?

-Yes, Mrs. Preston here.

We believe that we're
on the verge

of isolating
the brain wave pattern

that signifies ESP activity.

-Now, Julie, tell
us what you felt?

-It starts with
a feeling of absolute calm,

as if I were drifting
into perfect sleep...

...leaving behind any
cares or any fears.

It's so beautiful
a feeling, I could almost cry.

And then, way in the distance,

I see someone
or someplace moving closer.

It starts with a feeling
of absolute calm,

as if I were drifting
into a perfect sleep...

...leaving behind any
cares or fears.

Then, way in the distance,

I see someone
or someplace moving closer.

Sometimes they're voices,
or even music.

And then, a funny
change takes place.

Instead of the images
moving closer to me,

I feel myself moving
closer to them.

It's as if I were
watching a movie...

...and then suddenly were
acting in it.

Tom!

-Easy.

Julie, something's
happened to my family.

-Pretty damn good devil
worship, don't you think?

It's hard to do
actual devil worship on film

without lapsing over
into self-parody.

But Robert Fuest pulls it off

with the help of a nasty
Ernest Borgnine as Corbis.

Um, what can you say
about Ernest Borgnine?

This movie has a whole pantheon
of movie stars.

This is kind of
"The Love Boat" of horror films.

Come on, Eddie Albert,

William Shatner, Ida Lupino,
Keenan Wynn.

Lisa Todd,
star of "The Doll Squad."

Ooh, yowza. But Ernest Borgnine,
he just dominates it.

He really plays four
different roles in the film.

We saw him at the beginning
as a folksy cowboy.

We saw him in his hooded robe
as a satanic high priest

reciting the actual black mass.

And he's got two
more transformations

that I won't spoil for you.

Borgnine was not like
any other Hollywood actor.

He learned his craft
at the Barter Theatre

in Abingdon, Virginia.

The Barter Theatre,

it's in one of the great valleys
in Appalachia

between Roanoke and Bristol.

And during the Depression,
when nobody had cash,

they stayed alive as a theater

by letting people
bring barter items

like chickens
and smoked meats and potatoes

and to pay for their admission.

They still have a couple
shows a year today

where they accept barter just
to keep up the old traditions.

Anyway, Borgnine
was from Connecticut.

He spent 10 years in the Navy.
He went briefly to Yale,

but he dropped out
so he could attend

a really obscure drama school
in Hartford,

the Randall School
of Dramatic Arts.

And then he went down
to Virginia

to do every kind of role
possible at the Barter Theatre.

And then, he went back up
to New York

and he got noticed
for the first time

when he played the nurse
in "Harvey" on Broadway in 1949.

He made his film debut in 1951.

And of course,
his breakout film role

was Sergeant "Fatso" Judson
in "From Here to Eternity."

He still would have been
just a character actor,

playing heavies and thugs,

if it hadn't been
for the role of a lifetime

as the shy, sensitive butcher
who gets bullied by his family

and embarrassed to be in love
with a very plain girl.

He got the Academy Award
for "Marty."

And, you know, if you don't love
"Marty," you don't love life.

Anyway, he made well
over 100 films.

He was a regular
in three series.

A lot of people know him
from "McHale's Navy"

and as the center square on
the first "Hollywood Squares."

Beloved guy in Hollywood,
always a pro.

Was a little bothered
by all the satanic content

in "The Devil's Rain,"
but he went with it.

He committed to it, and he
pretty much steals the movie.

Borgnine was still
an A-list movie star

when this movie came out,
but William Shatner, who --

By the way, I've never seen him
this ripped

and lumberjack-y, you know.

He was trying to find
a career after "Star Trek."

In fact, he had a clause
in his "Devil's Rain" contract

that he could leave the set
for any "Star Trek" convention.

And he exercised that clause.

And that may be why,
at this point in the movie,

he ceases to be
the main character,

and the point of view switches
to Tom Skerritt,

as his brother,
and Tom Skerritt's

ESP-sensitive wife,
played by Joan Prather.

I'll talk about them later.

Right now, though,
I'm working with Yuki Nakamura,

the art director
of "The Last Drive-In,"

better known
as the Tokyo Cowboy.

Come on out.
Come on out, Yuki, come on over.

We're working on
the final battle plan

for the imminent destruction
of all witches,

including, unfortunately,
Darcy the Mail Girl.

She has gone over
to the dark side.

Are you ready, Yuki?

-Yee-ha!
-All right.

I'll take that as a yes.
Oh. All right, Yuki.

We're going to need
the following ingredients.

-Yes.

-Are you going
to write these down?

-Uh, I'll remember.

-Okay. We need some
bear's garlic.

-Bear's garlic.
-We need a dead cat.

-Kill a cat and the bear?

-No, don't kill anything.

We find a dead cat
and there is no bear.

Forget the --
-We don't need the bear?

-Bear's garlic is an herb.
There's no bear.

It grows in a moist woodland.
You need a moist woodland.

-Moist woodland.
-Okay. Forget the bear's garlic.

Just find a dead cat.

-Dead cat.
-Okay.

We're going to marinate
the dead cat in anisette,

so we need some anisette.

-How do we find the anisette
in the moist woodland?

-No. Yuki, you find anisette
in a liquor store.

So...
-Right. Liquor store.

-Okay, so --
So there's two things so far.

A dead cat
and a bottle of anisette.

We're going to feed
the marinated dead cat

to Black Annis.

Black Annis is a blue-faced
giant hag, queen of the witches.

And if we do this,
then the other old crone witches

won't be able to turn young
again and entice the lads

of East Hanover to the Brocken.

-Can you repeat that?

-All right. Anisette.
Just think anisette.

It comes in a bottle.
-Right?

-Okay. What else? Okay.
We need three more things.

We need rue.
-Rue?

-Rue is a blue-leafed herb.
It's a species of Ruta.

-Right.
-Okay. We need mullein.

Mullein is a flowering plant.
It's yellow.

-Yellow, yep.

-Don't you think you should be
writing these down?

-I will remember.
-Okay.

And then we need
sweet woodruff.

Do you know
what sweet woodruff is?

-The opposite of sour woodruff.

-Okay, Good enough.

Can you bring all that stuff
at the next break?

-No problem.
-All right.

Ahh. Thank you, Yuki.

We're going to banish
the witches.

Don't you hate the witches?
-No.

-Well, you should
hate the witches.

It's Walpurgisnacht and we have
to stop them before they

spawn demon children with Satan.

All right. So, Yuki,
do your thing,

and we're going to go back
to the movie now.

All right?

You know, witch fighting.

A lot of detail work
with Walpurgisnacht, you know.

I was going to mention,

you know, a lot of people
who watch this movie,

and a lot of people that
watch this show,

they like to visit
movie locations.

And "The Devil's Rain"
would actually be a good one.

Durango would actually be
sort of the movie location

visit extreme sport choice
because...

But many, many Westerns,
many, many other movies,

both Mexican movies
and American movies --

mostly Westerns, though -- have
been based at the same hotel.

The Campo México Courts,
which are little tourist cabins

located on the Avenida de
Vigésimo de Noviembre.

And they take these concrete
slabs and they have the actors

and other celebrities
on the movies

put their handprints
and their footprints

and their spur prints
and whatever,

and then they tack them up

on the brick wall
of the parking area

at this tourist court thing.

It's like a combination
of Grauman's Chinese

and the Hollywood Walk
of Fame combined,

only it's in a cheap motel
parking lot.

They have a huge one there
for Chuck Connors

from when he starred in
"Geronimo" as Geronimo,

if anybody remembers
that movie.

And they have a special
John Wayne Room,

where he did stay,

but instead of turning it
into a luxury space,

they jammed four beds in there
so huge families

can stay in the John Wayne Room.

So, anyway, they have all
"The Devil's Rain" people

honored in concrete
at this hotel.

Except Anton Szandor LaVey,

the high priest
of the Church of Satan.

He got hired by Bryanston
as an adviser to the movie

to make sure the black mass was
said properly.

The people of Durango
were not that crazy

about having
Anton Szandor LaVey in town.

I mean, he stayed six
weeks there

with his wife, Diane,
who was the high priestess,

and they designed the costumes

and the medallions
of the Satanists

and trapezoidal altar
and the stained glass goat head.

The chapel has
all those animal heads.

Those came from him.

Anton Szandor LaVey was one
of the great con men of history.

He used that Church of Satan
thing for years

to get jobs on movies,
and this was one of the movies.

Anyway, if you go
to the Campo México Courts

and you ask them to drive
you out to where they filmed

"The Devil's Rain,"
they will do that.

Durango, though, is one of
the loneliest places in Mexico.

And then, on top of that,

it wasn't filmed
in the capital city.

It was filmed an hour and a half
drive outside Durango.

So, yeah,
they'll take you there,

but be sure to ask them
if the ride back

is included, as well,
if you know what I mean.

And I think you do.

We should do Mutant
Adventure Tourism, you know.

-"The Devil's Rain."
"Nosferatu the Vampyre."

"Elvira's Haunted Hills."

All the most dangerous places
in the world

where they've done movies.

"The Serpent and the Rainbow."

"Evil Dead,"
rural East Tennessee.

[Chuckles]
Yes-aroonie.

♪♪

-Well, that really tears it.

That helicopter pilot said
he hasn't seen anybody

in that ghost town in years,
let alone yesterday.

What are we stuck with?
A pile of empty clothes

and an old man's story I'm not
even gonna take the trouble

to write up for a report.

All we need now is a flying
saucer to really put this --

-All right, Sheriff, John's
story is just as hard

for me to believe as
it is for you,

but he's sure that Mark
went to Redstone.

-That place is deserted!

-Where's my family then,
where are they?

-All I know is that
half this county

got blown away or flooded
out last night.

Now, when John called me
about your family,

my boys were bringing
in a couple of bodies.

People were stuck in a car
in that storm last night,

and it just tossed 'em
around like a toy.

Well, look at the inside of
your house, it's a shambles.

-You think a storm did that,
Sheriff?

-Yes, I do.

-Then where's the family?

-Well, I don't know,

maybe they tried to run
away before the wind hit.

-And they left John here,
right?

No, Sheriff, the answer's
in Redstone, you know that.

-Now, look son, if I
had 100 men to help me,

it's gonna take me a long time

to clean up that mess
the storm left me.

I'm gonna look for your folks,
but I can't spare one man

to go down there to
that ghost town.

-I'll go myself then, Sheriff.

-I can't stop ya.

Might as well take
that old road,

the old one back down through
the desert, it's clear.

I see you've got food,

but you better take
plenty of water.

And you better take extra gas.

[Police radio chatter]

[Engine turns over]

Tell you what, you give me
a call the minute you get back.

-Yeah, I will.

[Engine revs]

[Wind whistling]

-Ms. Julie, I-I saw them.

Th-They -- They had no faces.

I-I-I saw them.

-John, we're gonna
find out what happened.

Now, I want you to listen to me
and listen to me very carefully.

Dr. Richards is coming tomorrow.

Now, I want you to tell him
everything you've told us

and tell him that we're going
to Redstone to find my brother.

-D-D-Dr. Richards is
coming here tomorrow and --

and you've gone to Redstone?
-We've gone to Redstone.

And tell him everything
you told us, all right?

-All right.

Wax.

-What is it?

What is that stuff?

-It's wax.
-They just melted,

and we all saw.

-We better get going.

Look, try to get some sleep,
okay?

Remember Dr. Richards?
-Yeah, I remember Dr. Richards.

Now, you be c-careful.
-All right, we will.

Y-You...

-Take care, John.
We'll be back soon.

-[Muttering]

[Engine turns over]

-Where is the book?

[Organ playing softly]

In the name of Satan,
lord of light,

I offer you peace and salvation.

Where is the book?

You gambled and you lost.

-You bastard.

-The torment of Hell
holds no terror for you.

Behold, Lilith,
queen of delights.

He truly believes he
can deny us.

Show him.

♪♪

♪♪

-Mother.

-Martin Fyffe,
thy vessel is prepared.

Your journey is about to begin.

-[Screaming]

♪♪

[Wind whistling]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine turns over]

♪♪

♪♪

[Discordant organ music]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Weird, isn't it?

-I've seen churches
like this in New England.

It doesn't belong here.

-Yeah, I noticed that
from back there.

Here, I'm gonna go in.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Door creaks]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Reading Latin]

-Devil worship.

-Oh, Tom, look at this.

This wax, it's the same
that was on the porch.

Oh, God.

[Distant murmuring]

Shh, shh, what is that noise?

-Huh?

Mark.

-What is it?

-Mark's shirt.

[Explosion]

-[Gasps]

[Screams]

[Tires squeal]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Clatters]
-Bitch!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Creaking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Locked]

♪♪

[Screams]

[Grunting]

♪♪

[Grunting]

♪♪

-Tom, here's some rope!

-[Grunting]

Here, tie him up.

♪♪

-What is it, Julie?

What -- what are you seeing?

-Book.

A-A long...

A -- a long time ago, I...

I can see them!
They're...

They're looking for the book.

[Flames crackling]

They're looking for the book.

-One of thee
has betrayed us.

-The book...
-How so, Jonathan?

-The book is gone, my children.

The book is gone.

But I am not.

Didst one of thee fall
from the favor of Lucifer?

Hmm? Ah-hah, but thou hast taken
the pleasures of Satan

and in return, thou hast pledged

thy soul in blood in the book!

Without the book,
thou art nothing.

Who?

Who amongst thee dares cast thee

into an eternity of limbo?

Who?

If the book is lost,

I, Jonathan Corbis,

Satan's minister on Earth,

cannot lead you to his
everlasting kingdom.

♪♪

Now, who?

♪♪

♪♪

Martin Fyffe,

it is strange thy
wife Aaronessa --

-Sh-she has been ill.

-...does not join us at
worship this night.

-Sh--
[Knocking]

Be silent.

No one knows what we are about,
silent.

[Knocking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Why, Preacher Blithe!

What manner of God's
business keeps thee

from thy bed at this hour, sir?

-God's most holy business,

the condemning of evil!

-What say thee?

-Jonathan Corbis,
thou stands accused

of foully conspiring
with Satan and his demons

to overturn the laws of God.

Thou art named a witch, Corbis!

Thou and all who follow thee.

-Thou art the one!

Slut!
[Crowd gasps]

Martin Fyffe, thy wife
has betrayed us!

She was the one who
stole the book!

-It's not my fault.

-That bitch howls our
names to the heathen!

-I have faith, I have faith.

-One, two, three!

-Remember --
-One, two, three!

-Thou hast sworn not to
harm my husband.

♪♪

-My son, the holy water,

the waxen images, thou
knowest the holy procedures.

-One, two, three!

-We shall meet again soon,
my boy.

Go.

-One, two, three!

♪♪

-They are upon us!

-One, two, three!

-[Chanting]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Thou art sworn not
to harm him.

-I will save his soul,

and thy soul too,
if God allows.

As for thy bodies, they are
polluted beyond redemption,

and must suffer accordingly.

-Thou vowed, thou vowed!

-Corbis, call on
thy master now.

See what it suffices
thee to bow to the devil.

Thou art guilty of
the most heinous charge

of consorting with Satan
and his minions.

Under the laws of this
township, thou art condemned.

God save us from
the forces of darkness.

-[Laughs] Think ye to destroy
something stronger than life?

By ending life?

[Laughs]

As the cock will crow in the
dawn after my body burns,

so too will the sun rise

and cast my shadow
over this town

again and again, you fools!

[Laughs]

Burn, burn!

[Laughs]

Martin Fyffe, a curse on
thee and thine forevermore.

I will follow thee
and thy descendants

for all eternity.

Until the book is mine again,

thou art sworn to Satan,

and I will deliver thee
to his glory.

Vengeance will be mine,
Aaronessa.

Vengeance will be mine!
[Laughs]

-He was, he was...

Aah!
They were all burning, no!

-Julie, Julie!

Who was burning?

What are you talking about?

What is it?

-They're here.

[Eerie moaning]

-Who, what?
What are you talking about?

-We -- we better go.

Come on, let's get out of here.

[Moaning continues]

♪♪

♪♪

-Let me out of here!

-Help! Please, help!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-You can't go back there, Tom.

-Look, honey, I've got
to go back, you know that.

Now get to a phone
and call the sheriff, okay?

Take care.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Screams]

[Thuds, static]

-Okay, Yuki, good job on
the herbal torch

that we're going to use
to kill the witches.

All right, so it starts out
as a William Shatner movie,

but since he turns out
to be a weak-kneed scaredy cat,

frightened by the eyeless
Ida Lupino as his mom,

he's getting tortured
upside down with his shirt off.

And so it becomes
a Tom Skerritt movie,

as Tom takes his psychic wife
to Redstone to find Shatner,

despite the warnings
of Keenan Wynn

as the sheriff not to go there.

I love it when Keenan Wynn
pops up in a movie.

I don't think Keenan Wynn ever
had a lead role in his life,

but he must have been
in 300 movies.

Keenan Wynn grew up on Broadway
because his father, Ed Wynn,

was a superstar comedian.

And, um, and of course,
they still remembered

his grandfather,
Frank Keenan,

for his great versions of
"King Lear" and "Macbeth"

on the stage -- so Keenan was
a backstage brat

who got sent to
Saint John's Military Academy.

And then he came back
to New York

to make his stage debut in 1937

in "Hitch Your Wagon."

And then he made his film
debut five years later

in "Somewhere I'll Find You."

And then the rest of his life,
he was the quirky guy.

They have a picture
of Keenan Wynn

next to the word "quirky"
in the dictionary,

even though he was in lots of
blockbusters

like "Touch of Evil,"
and "Dr. Strangelove,"

and "Once Upon a Time
in the West,"

and having him play the sheriff
in this movie

would have been a big deal.

Not so for Tom Skerritt,
who plays Shatner's brother.

Skerritt was
mostly known for television.

He was in tough guy shows.
like "Combat"

and "The Virginian"
and "Gunsmoke."

But he did have a big role
in "MASH," the movie version.

Elliott Gould
and Donald Sutherland

were the two main characters,

but then Skerritt
was the third character

as Captain Duke Forrest,

but his heavyweight roles
were still yet to come.

You know,
he would he would star in, um,

"Alien" and "The Dead Zone,"

and probably the biggest role
he had was

the flight instructor
in "Top Gun."

Tom is in his late 80s,
but I think

he is still doing shows.

And then we also have
Joan Prather as Julie Preston.

Not many people remember
Joan Prather today.

She was a Dallas girl,
she was a varsity cheerleader

at Highland Park High School,
class of 1968.

She made her film debut in 1973,

in "The Single Girls"
as the only virgin in the cast.

And then she played the stuck-up
heiress in "Big Bad Mama."

She did a lot
of guest roles on TV.

Most popular role
was probably

on "Eight is Enough"
as Janet McArthur Bradford.

She quit acting
in the '80s

when she married a lawyer.

But her real contribution
to film history

is that she bonded
with John Travolta

on the set of
"The Devil's Rain,"

and John was
apparently depressed

that he couldn't get
his career started.

And now he was
in this remote part of Mexico

wearing a hood
and special effects makeup

that covered up his eyes.

And Joan Prather cheered him up
by giving him giving him a copy

of L. Ron Hubbard's
"Dianetics"

and recruiting him
into Scientology.

And the rest
is weird history.

And since we're on the subject
of John Travolta,

we're going to see him
in this next segment.

But you have to be really,
really alert

because he's eyeless
and he's in heavy makeup.

And the main way
you'll know it's him is

by the distinctive chin.

And his line is,
"Blasphemer! Blasphemer!"

And speaking of blasphemers --
Darcy...

sent the following message
delivered by one of her minions.

Just got it.

"The Brocken is really fun."

You know, Darcy has to work
on her demonic messaging.

Anyway, we're going to --
we're going to test

the satanic power of her coven.

And, Yuki, come on over.
Are you prepared for battle?

-No.

-All right, well,
let's get prepared.

I need a few more ingredients.
-No.

-Yuki, do you want to defeat
the witches or not?

-I did not like
the moist woodland.

-You -- I told you don't go
to the moist woodland!

Forget the moist woodland!

We X'd out the bears garlic.

We don't need that.
-Okay?

-What we need is quarkkaulchen.

-Okay.

-You're not going to write
that down, quarkkaulchen?

-I will remember.

-Quarkkaulchen, our special
Walpurgisnacht cheese pancakes.

-Okay.
-We need runic garden staves.

-Okay.
-You don't know what

Runic garden staves are,
do you?

-No.
-The Runic garden staves

need to have messages carved
into the tops of them.

-Yes.

-Using the Elder Futhark
alphabet.

-Yes!
-Ancient satanic alphabet.

A runic writing system
brought into northwest Germany

by the Goths and the Franks
in the third century.

-Yes.
-Yuki, you know what?

Just go put on your
witch fighting hat

and come back with a broom,
and you can --

And we're going to light
your broom on fire, okay?

-Yes.
-All right. Good.

[Sighs]

Let's get back to the Satan
worshiping Mafia classic,

"The Devil's Rain."

Roll it.

You know, there was a rumor
that Robert Fuest

had a nervous breakdown
right after

he finished shooting this movie.

And I think it's probably
an exaggeration,

but this was a nightmare
to shoot

because he was used to working
at Elstree Studios in London.

He had the same crew
there for years,

and now he was out in the middle
of nowhere with this crew

that spoke no English,
including his cameraman.

Plus, there was a cloud
hanging over

the whole production
the entire time

because of the mob's decision
to cut 14 days off the budget

and not pay
some of the vendors.

And Fuest was called in the day
before they started shooting

and told that he would have
only six weeks to shoot

instead of what he expected,
eight weeks.

Plus, he kept going
to the screenwriters

and saying, "I think we have
some plot holes here."

And they just told him,
"No, it's a perfect script,

shoot it as it is."

And he couldn't really
do anything about that

because everything had to go
through a guy named Vinny,

who was sent by the Colombo
family to watch their money.

If he needed an extra
piece of equipment,

you had to ask Vinny.

But Fuest needed the paycheck,

so he stayed
on the production.

Plus, I don't think
you want to quit

in the middle of a mafia
financed movie.

I don't think that
would be healthy.

Just guessing.

At this show, on the other hand,
you don't have to

ask Vinny -- if you need
something, you can ask anybody.

They'll all say no.

-Yeah!

-You -- what do you mean, Yuki?

You mean, yes, they'll say no?

-No!

-Okay.
-Okay.

♪♪

[Wind blowing,
low chanting]

[Chanting]

♪♪

♪♪

[Chanting]

♪♪

♪♪

[Grunts]

♪♪

[Grunts]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Chanting continues]

♪♪

♪♪

[Chanting continues]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Grunting]

♪♪

[Chanting stops]

-Hear me, o lord of
life everlasting,

I, Jonathan Corbis,
petition thee

to let me be thy voice on Earth.

O master of the world,
hear me.

I petition thee.

♪♪

Hail, o prince of the abyss.

In thy name,

let us behold the father.

The ram of the sun,

the moon, the stars.

Hail, oh deathless one.

[Explosion]

-Who calls me from
out of the pit?!

-[Crowd] We, thy children!

-What is thy purpose?

-[Crowd] Deliver us of a soul.

-[Corbis] Has it been prepared?

-It has.

-Then I command this soul to
be purified by fire and water.

♪♪

-Almighty light

and burning flame of comfort,

enter this body

and cleanse it of its
unworthy soul.

-[Screaming]

-Burn.

-[Screaming]

-Burn.

-[Screaming]

-Burn.

In the name of Satan,
lord of fire.

In the name of Lucifer,
bringer of light.

In the name of Belial,

master of the earth.

[Choking grunt]

Now, be sealed by the holy
waters of forgetfulness.

♪♪

[Chanting]

Martin Fyffe, my servant...

come forth and claim the body

I have prepared for you.

[Chanting]

Open wide, the mysteries of
your creation unto this soul.

Be friendly unto him,

for I am the same,

the true worshiper
of the highest

and most exalted

King of Hell.

-Praise be...

The lord of light and darkness

who is my sole...

salvation.

[Chanting]

-Blasphemer, blasphemer!

-Seize him!

-You, my son,
defiled all that is holy.

-Mother, my God, my God!

[Crowd shouting]

[Shotgun blasts]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Screaming, body thuds]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Grunts]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Okay, where's Julie then?
-The sheriff called,

he's got men on the road
looking.

-That's where the car
disappeared, right?

Can't find it?

Yeah, well that means
that she's back there

in that damn place with Corbis.

-But they picked you up,
didn't they?

-Oh, Sam, come on,
let's face it!

The sheriff's got God knows
how many storm victims

he's looking for, what do
you think he's gonna say

when I tell him about
waxen images

and eyeless faces, huh?

How about that one?

That goddamn --
[Glass shattering]

Son of a bitch!

And what about the disappearance
of my family,

for crying out loud?

Well, Sam, I don't know
what in the hell he wants

with my family, but, uh...

there's only one way
to find out.

-Just slow down, slow down!

Let's try to find out
what we're facing here!

-What are we facing?
-Here, take a look at this.

-What is it,
where'd you get it?

-It's a book, I got it from
John, bequeathed to your mother,

it's been in your family for
centuries, you haven't seen it.

-"Nathan Aldren."
-Yeah?

-Martin Fyffe, that's
the name he used

last night in the ceremony.
-Right, right.

This -- this book
was owned by Corbis,

what, 300 years ago?

It's a registry of the people,

the names of the people
that he converted to Satan.

These are written in blood,
these signatures.

These are people who believe
that they've sold their souls

to the devil.

Here, this letter,
read the letter.

-"I beseech thee, daughter,
and all our daughters to follow,

to protect this book and keep
it from the devil's disciple.

For so long as you do,
Jonathan Corbis is powerless

to deliver his souls to Satan,

where I would rather my
beloved husband, Martin Fyffe,

suffer the torments of
the Devil's Rain."

-Devil's Rain, I --
-"For whilst imprisoned there,

I pray that Martin,
through God's grace,

will find a way to scratch
his name from its pages."

Signed Aaronessa Fyffe,
Wellington, 1680.

Now, what in the hell is
he waiting 300 years for?

-I don't know, maybe the right
moment, who can --

-Or the right family.

-You'll never find the reason.

That Devil's Rain,
that's new to me,

I've never heard of that.

-He mentioned that last
night in his ceremony.

-Yeah?
-He said something about,

"I condemn thy soul to
the Devil's Rain."

-A-ha.
You know, this Corbis,

this Corbis believes that he
can separate souls from bodies.

-Oh, Sam, don't be ridiculous.

-It's an old superstition,

and what you described
happened last night --

-Look, Sam, we're talking
about something

neither one of us understand;
In the meantime, I don't know

what in the hell's
happened to Julie!

-Wait! Wait, Tom!

-What?

"Mark Preston."

-It wasn't there this morning.

-I'm going to Redstone.

-Did anybody catch a glimpse
of Travolta?

You would only know him
by his chin.

So after talking
to Eddie Albert, the PhD in ESP,

Tom is going to Redstone.

Wasn't he already in Redstone?
I'm so confused by this movie.

What's the connection
between Mark Preston,

aka William Shatner,
and Martin Fyffe,

aka the guy that Ernest Borgnine
keeps talking about

when he's saying thee and thou

like a 17th century
Puritan preacher.

And these
blood signatures in the book.

Why does he need those?
He -- he should know by now.

If you have no eyes,
you're already Satan's bitch.

You don't really need
the book to spot these people.

And by the way,
Ernest Borgnine is awesome

as the goat head demon, right?

So, back to what I said
before about him playing

four characters in this one:
in the beginning,

he's the folksy rancher
at the hitching post.

Then he's the satanic
high priest in the hooded robe.

Then in that flashback sequence
revealed to us

through Julie's ESP,

he's a pilgrim hunter
who gets burned at the stake --

"Didst one of thee fall
from the favor of Lucifer?"

And now he's the growling,
goat-headed demon

devouring souls.

And then there's Eddie Albert.

Eddie Albert is sort of --

sort of a parallel career
to Keenan Wynn.

He's always a featured
supporting player.

He's never a star.

He started out as a trapeze
flier in the circus.

He worked on the stage.

He worked on radio a lot.

He made his film debut in 1938,

and he worked in relative
obscurity almost 20 years

before he got some recognition
for his role

in Robert Aldrich's
"Attack" in 1956.

He was the cowardly glory
seeking officer.

And of course,
most people know him

as Oliver Wendell Douglas
on "Green Acres,"

the hit TV series that ran
a while in the mid-'60s.

And so most people think
he's a goofball.

But in real life,
he was a stud.

He got a Bronze Star
in World War II

because he skippered
this landing craft

at the Battle of Tarawa,

one of the bloodiest
battles in the Pacific.

And he rescued
70 wounded Marines

under constant heavy enemy fire.

He made repeated returns
to the battle zone

to get more troops
out of harm's way

after the Japanese slaughtered
the initial attack force.

Anyway, multi-talented guy --

had a nightclub act
with his Mexican wife, Margo.

He helped to launch
the first Earth Day in 1970.

He wrote the first TV drama
in 1936,

the same year he got his
Warner Bros contract.

He was director
of the US Council on Refugees.

He lived in Pacific Palisades

and had a cornfield
in his front yard.

And how many people have this
on their resume?

He produced
the two sex education films

that were used in schools
for 40 years,

"Human Beginnings"
and "Human Growth."

They would show those
in eighth grade.

And "Human Beginnings"
was a whole lot more interesting

than "Human Growth."
Anyway!

Now that we've gone Full Monty
on Satan,

I think it's time to bring out
the witch fighters

and start
the extermination process.

So, Yuki,
come on, Yuki, come on over.

Yuki.
All right. Where are the --

We need witch fighters?
Where are the lads?

-I have lads.
-You have lads? Okay.

-[Whistles sharply]

-All right. So --

Oh, these are the lads?

All right.

So this is the Drive-In Army.

And remember, guys,

it's not numbers that count,
it's fighting spirits.

So...
Can I have a yea?

-Yay!
-Yeah.

-Okay. Okay.
All right, let's, uh,

let's take some besoms.
Let's ignite the besoms.

Here -- you know, take one of
these, take some horns.

We're going to win the horns.
Take a horn.

Everybody take a horn
and get ready to

flay some witches.

So, Yuki...

Ignite the torches!

[Cackling]

-♪ A witch is bound
for the rockin' RV ♪

♪ The stubble is yellow
and a new gray-green ♪

♪ All our number
will gather there ♪

♪ And you know who
will take the chair ♪

♪ So we race
over hedges and ditches ♪

♪ The heed goat stinks,
and so do the witches ♪

♪ Walpurgisnacht,
Walpurgisnacht ♪

♪ Now to the Brocken
we witches ride ♪

♪ It's why your anus
will come ringside ♪

♪ Over the valley
our company floats ♪

♪ Laughing and farting
on stinking goats ♪

♪ The stench is foul
but the moon is bright ♪

♪ As we dance on
through the night ♪

♪ Walpurgisnacht,
Walpurgisnacht ♪

-Yuki, what the hell?!

-I have no matches.

-I told you to get matches!

-It wasn't on the list.

-There is no list!
I told you to make a list.

But you said "I can remember."

Therefore we ended up
with no list.

Matches would be on the list
if we had a list --

[Blade rings, slices]

[Snarling, laughing]

[Spurt]

[Laughter continues]

♪♪

♪♪

[Lights flicker]

[Wind whistling softly]

♪♪

-In the names of
the great harlot of Babylon,

and of Lilith, and of Hecate,

our lust will be fulfilled.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Adore her pleasure.

You are chosen among mortals

for immortal delight.

♪♪

Who denies pleasure,
denies life.

Who opens the portals
of pleasure,

opens the eye of eternity.

-No.

-So we may see the divine fire.

-No! No!

[Wood creaking]

-Tom, listen.

[Faint moaning]

Tom! Tom, come here.

Give me a hand.

These are symbols of Satan,
exactly as it said in the book.

-Yeah, well, that figures.

[Moaning]

What is that?

[Moaning]

-Oh, Tom! Tom!

-What?

[Moaning]

-Souls.
-Oh, God.

-Possessed by Corbis
for 300 years,

from Wellington until now.

-The Devil's Rain?

[Souls moaning]

[Moaning continues]

Sheriff?

♪♪

-Watch out, Tom!

♪♪

[Sheriff screams, explosion]

[Chanting]

♪♪

♪♪

-Oy, Tom, Tom.

-What?
-Take this.

[Chanting]

[Hinges creaking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Chanting continues]

♪♪

[Chanting continues]

[Chanting stops]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Put her on the altar
of the holy flame.

I will prepare her for eternity.

-No, no! Julie!

Julie!

♪♪

[Muttering]

[Tom yelling]

[Grunting]

-You, my brethren,
found the book.

You may now bring
down the vessel

so we may restore it to
its holy place.

-That won't be necessary.

[Crowd gasping]

[Moaning]

-Ah! Doctor, um...

-Richards.

-Dr. Samuel Richards, yes.

I've been aware of your work

through these many years,
Doctor.

-Corbis, you want
the Devil's Rain.

I want Tom and Julie Preston.

I do not underestimate
your powers,

nor do I overestimate them.

-Thank you, Doctor.

I'm grateful that you
are aware of them, sir.

-Unless you allow
Tom and Julie Preston

to leave here safely...

[Crowd gasping]

I will destroy the Devil's Rain!

-Martin Fyffe,
our salvation is at hand!

Bring me forth the vessel.

-No, no, no, listen,
listen to me.

You have the power now
to end your torment!

Destroy the bottle!

Without the Devil's Rain,
he has no hold on you!

You're free to choose!

-Martin Fyffe, you are
sworn to Satan.

Come forth for your salvation.

-This is your last chance!

In all eternity, it will
never come again!

Without the Devil's Rain,
he has no hold on you.

You're free to choose,
Aaronessa was right!

This is your last chance!

-The heathen lies.

-In all eternity,
it will not come again.

Free the souls
and free yourself!

-If you destroy
the Devil's Rain,

you will wander through
eternity a creature of nothing,

neither of heaven nor of hell.

-In God's name, Martin!

Believe as Aaronessa believed!

You can be saved!

Break the bottle!

-You are sworn to Satan,
Martin Fyffe!

-No, you're not, Martin!
Break it!

Remember Aaronessa!

-A-Aaronessa.

[Moaning grows louder]

-Let me out of here!

[Explosion]

[Screaming]

[Screaming, thunder crashing]

[Screaming continues]

[Screaming, moaning]

[Loud scream]

[Rumbling]

-Corbis!

Corbis!

-[Roars]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Tom groaning]

[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

[Crowd screaming]

-No! No, no, God, no!

[Screaming]

♪♪

[Screaming]

[Low howling]

[Growling]

[Explosion]

[Crowd screaming]

[All screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashing]

[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

[Crowd moaning]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Explosion]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Tom?

Tom?

Tom.

Oh, Tom.

[Laughing]

-No, Tom!

No, Tom! Tom!

No, no! Help!

No!

Tom!

No, no, no!

No, no!

No!

No, Tom, help!
Help me!

[Moaning]

-Oh.

Well, Darcy, thank God
for Obamacare.

-You deserve that.

-Ahh, so...
there you have it.

We just watched
the ultimate cult movie.

It's the story of a cult.

It has a cult following.

Um...a genuine cult leader.

Anton Szandor LaVey was
the technical advisor

and had a part in it,
head of the Church of Satan,

John Travolta was indoctrinated
into a cult while on the set.

Unfortunately, John gets melted
along with everybody else

except for Tom Skerritt,

Joan Prather,
and apparently Ernest Borgnine.

So thank you, Darcy,
for giving my head back.

You know, that was --
that was supposed to be

a pitched battle between
the witches and the righteous.

-Well, the witches won.

-But it was over in,
like, three seconds.

I mean, the Tyson/Spinks fight
was longer than that.

I didn't get to use any of
my herbs, my torch.

-Sorry. I was all sexed up
from the action on the Brocken.

-Really? And that turns you
into an ax murderer?

-Just a very empowered witch.

You were trying to kill us.

-Well, yeah.

-Well, sometimes,
the witches win.

-Yeah, but they win
by seducing their prey,

not hacking off their heads.

-Do not judge my technique.

-Oh, whatever.
Okay, so,

the Devil's Rain entombs
people in a contraption

that looks like half bowling
trophy and half snow globe.

Right? And if you're not in
the snow globe, you just melt.

And everybody melted real good.

How long did those
melting bodies go on?

-Dude, I love
the melting bodies.

-So, yeah, a half hour of
melting bodies there at the end.

But I wanted to mention
the other reason

"The Devil's Rain"
has gone down in film history.

You know, the first reason being

is the way John Travolta
discovered Scientology,

because Joan Prather
did what's called an "assist"

on Travolta one day
when he was really depressed.

Have you ever done an assist
on somebody, Darcy?

-Oh, yeah.
-I'll bet your assists are

better than, you know,
L. Ron Hubbard's assists.

-I can guarantee you
that they are.

-Okay.

Anyway, the second reason that
"The Devil's Rain" is famous

in film history is that
in the sequence we just watched,

William Shatner
is wearing a mask

designed by Don Post Studios.

-Yeah!
-And I know --

and I know why you're "Yay"-ing
it, you know,

because Don Post Studios
did the three masks

used in "Halloween III."

-Yes, they did.
-Yeah, and, um --

But this is 1975,
and everybody needed a mask

because they were all eyeless.

But that mask that they used
when Shatner was melting away

ended up in a magic shop
on Hollywood Boulevard.

I guess they sold it,
or the magic shop bought it.

And when they were
making "Halloween" in 1978,

somebody on the effects crew
went in there

and bought it for 50 bucks
and spray painted it white.

And it was worn by the stuntman
Nick Castle as Michael Myers.

So William Shatner's
eyeless face

became the most iconic mask
in horror.

-I knew it was a Shatner mask,
but not from here.

That's cool.
-Yeah.

Robert Fuest, the director,

would make a couple more movies,
and then he would go back

to teaching at a school
in Southampton

that he'd been associated
with for most of his life.

His first career
was as a painter

before he became
a production designer,

and he was one of those Brits

who didn't really buy into
the "I must direct" lifestyle.

He was most interested
in production design and art.

He wasn't very fond
of "The Devil's Rain."

He didn't have anything
to do with the editing.

He always thought
those melting sequences

went on too long
and bored the audience.

Today he's -- he's really
all but forgotten,

except when somebody wonders
who directed

those Dr. Phibes movies,
because he did those.

He had a really interesting
sci-fi flick in 1973

called "The Final Program,"

about some scientists
who build a perfect,

immortal half man, half woman.

Roger Corman admired that film

and picked it up
for New World Pictures.

Nobody watches that today.

He also had a really interesting
take on "Wuthering Heights."

He did a "Wuthering Heights"
movie that AIP released it

with Timothy Dalton
as Heathcliff.

Nobody remembers
that one either.

He died in 2012,

but if you ask him
what was his best work,

he talked about --

he did these ten
after-school specials.

He made them in New York
in the late '70s,

early '80s
for Highgate Pictures.

And the most famous
of those was "The Gold Bug,"

which was based on
Edgar Allan Poe's story,

which won an Emmy.

This was near the end
of Ida Lupino's career.

She was hitting the bottle
pretty hard during filming.

She was still considered
the B-movie Bette Davis --

even as Bette Davis was nearing
the end of her career

in a series of B movies.

And a lot of people
say that Ida Lupino

was the first female director
of any stature.

But that's not true
because Dorothy Arzner

had been directing since 1922.

She had a lot of silent films.

Ida Lupino didn't direct her
first movie till 1950.

Anton Szandor LaVey,

the founder of
the Church of Satan,

actually founded
the Church of Satan on

Walpurgisnacht 1968.

-LaVey was the technical advisor
to the movie,

and LaVey loved Hollywood --
he had befriended

Marilyn Monroe,
Jayne Mansfield,

Sammy Davis Jr. --
Sammy Davis Jr.

was briefly a member
of the Church of Satan.

Anyway, he would -- he would
attach himself to movies

throughout the '70s,
and for this one,

he wrote extensive notes
and he taught the extras

to chant in the language
of Enochian,

which is a language
delivered by angels

to a 16th century
English magician.

In other words, yes, LaVey was
one of our great con men,

but he passed away in 1997.

Apparently, Satan failed
to grant him immortality,

but the church
still exists today.

It's no longer
in San Francisco, though.

It's in Poughkeepsie.
And that's just wrong.

I mean, the Church of --
the Church of Satan

cannot be in Poughkeepsie.

John Travolta turned 21
during the filming of the movie.

And LaVey did a success rite
for Travolta's birthday,

and before
he got back to L.A.,

Travolta had been cast
in "Welcome Back, Kotter."

So, we don't know
whether it was Scientology

or Satan, but Travolta was using
everything he could find

from the dark side.

And the movie was
a commercial flop.

Definitely a critical flop.

Roger Ebert put it on his list
of top ten most hated movies.

But we know Roger never really
liked horror to begin with.

But somebody who does
love horror and who does love

"The Devil's Rain"
is our resident Satanist,

Darcy the Mail Girl.

You're a fan of this movie,
right?

-It's a little slow,
but overall great.

It's hard to hate a film
with that many melting faces.

-You thought it was slow,
though?

I thought it was
nonstop satanic action,

but it just doesn't make sense.

-Making sense is overrated.

-Don't I know that!
Okay.

-Plus it had the all star cast
with Borgnine,

Shatner, Travolta, Lupino,

and surely the greatest film
that any of them have ever done.

-The greatest film any of those
people have ever done?!

-Yeah.
-I mean --

Oh, you're totally right, Darcy.
I mean,

because
"From Here to Eternity,"

I mean, yeah.
-Right. Nothing.

"Pulp Fiction." Yeah.

"Marty," you know, it's like --
-"Devil's Rain."

-None of those compare
to "Devil's Rain," okay.

-I am glad that you agree.

All right. You ready for mail?
-Yep.

-Our letter tonight comes from
Mark Wilber

of Hampton, New Hampshire.

-Hampton, New Hampshire.
-Yes.

-All right.

Oh...

"Dear Joe Bob and Darcy,

My name is Mark Wilber
from Hampton, New Hampshire.

I'm 32 years old
and just wanted to say

I'm a big fan after discovering
'The Last Drive-In' on Shudder

when the original full marathon
premiered a few years back.

I had no idea who you were

or what I was in for,
to be honest,

and, boy, was I missing out.

Both of you, and I'm sure
a bunch of

behind the scenes folks
make it fun,

and us horror fans are blessed
to have you to entertain

and inform us on old
and new films.

My dad got me into horror
at a young age,

and I've been hooked ever since.

I'm a big wrestling fan,
and I think

subconsciously I remember
'Monstervision' commercials

during WCW on TNT,

but I was too young to watch
or know what it was.

I'm that odd mix of
sports/horror/wrestling fan

and I have no one around me with
similar interests.

I guess if I had
one question, it would be,

What's your favorite
horror-sports movie?

Is there one?
Ha ha.

Sorry for a long letter.

I know it was all over the map,

but I just needed
to let you know

you got me through
some recent hard times

and it would be an honor
to meet you one day.

God bless and thank you again,

Your friend and mutant,

Mark Wilbur,
Hampton, New Hampshire."

Wow. Mark, interesting question.
I've never thought

about the sports-horror
subgenre -- "Rollerball"?

Would "Rollerball" count?

"Death Race 2000."

Is that a sports horror movie?
-Maybe.

-"The Fan"? That was kind of
like "Misery."

"Teen Wolf."
-The basketball.

-Werewolves
on the basketball court?

I don't know.
That's a tough one.

We're going to have
to look that up.

-I mean, there's a few,

but I think you would like
"Fatal Games."

-"Fatal Games"?
I don't know that one.

-It's an '80s slasher
about a javelin thrower

who kills all the jocks.
-With a javelin?

-He kills all the --
all the jocks with a javelin?

-Obviously. Yeah.
-Okay.

Well, fodder for a later show,
but thanks, Mark,

for your thoughtful letter
and...

And by -- and yes,
the question he asked.

It's true.
Back in the '90s, my show on TNT

was frequently scheduled
to follow WCW Wrestling.

-Yeah!
-But, um...

That pretty much wraps up this
year's Walpurgisnacht.

What did we learn tonight,
Darcy?

-Hmm, that satanic sex
is really, really good.

-Did we really?
-We did.

You should have been there.

-You know, I don't think
that is really

the spirit of the holiday.

It's part of the holiday.

-It should be the spirit of it.

-All right.
Well, that's it for us,

Joe Bob Briggs
and Darcy the Mail Girl,

reminding all you
young film students out there

that creativity is great,

but plagiarism is faster.

And the drive-in
will never die.

-What?
-A man with

a 25 inch long penis --

-Wow.

-Well, speaking of the spirit
of the holiday.

-You know you want
to hear this one.

-I do.
-Man with

a 25 inch long penis
goes to his doctor

and he says, "No women
will have sex with me, Doc.

They say my penis is too long."
The doctor says,

"Well, medically, there's really
nothing I can do about that.

But I do know a witch doctor

who may be able
to help you out."

And the guy gets directions to
the witch doctor.

And he tells the witch doctor
his story.

"My penis is 25 inches long

and nobody
will have sex with me.

Can you help me
shorten my penis?"

And so the witch doctor --

the witch scratches her head,
and she thinks for a minute

and then she says
"I think I have a solution.

to your problem --
what you have to do

is go to this pond
that's deep in the forest.

And when you get there,
you're going to see a frog

sitting on a log.

Ask that frog,
'Will you marry me?'

And each time the frog
declines your proposal,

your penis will be
five inches shorter."

And so the man dashes off
into the forest.

And he finds that frog.

And he calls out to the frog,
'Will you marry me?'

And the frog looks at him
contemptuously and says,

"No!"
The man looks down --

sure enough, his penis
is five inches shorter.

'Wow, he says, 'this is great,
but he's still too long.'

He thinks he's still
too long at 20 inches.

And so he asks the frog again.
He shouts out,

'Frog, will you marry me?'

The frog rolls his eyes

and he screams back at him,
'No!'

Guy feels another twitch
in his penis.

He looks down, it's another
five inches shorter.

And he goes, 'This is fantastic,
you know,

but it's 15 inches long.'

He said,
'Oh, well, it's still a monster.

A little less
will probably do it.'

So he looks across the pond
and he yells out,

'Frog, will you marry me?'

Frog is pissed off now.

And he says, "How many times
do I have to tell you:

No, no,
and for the last time, no!'

-Oh, no.

Wow.

Really?
That's your joke?

-It's a witch joke and a
Walpurgisnacht joke.

-I guess.
Cheers.

[Laughter]

-♪ We are drive-in mutants

-♪ Drive-in mutants

-♪ We are not like
other people ♪

-♪ Other people

-♪ We are sick
-♪ Sick

-♪ We are disgusting
-♪ Disgusting

-♪ We believe in

♪ Yeah, we believe in

-♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ Yeah, we believe in

-♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ If life had a vomit meter

-♪ Vomit meter

-♪ We'd be off the scale

-♪ Off the scale

-♪ As long as one drive-in
remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party
like jungle animals ♪

♪♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke

-♪ Boogie till we puke

-♪ The drive-in will never die

♪ We will boogie till we puke

-♪ Boogie till we puke

-♪ The drive-in will never die

-♪ We believe in

♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ We believe in

-♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ Yeah, we believe in