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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,076 (Door opens) 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,232 DEBBIE: Cathy, do you, erm... - Debs, she doesn't need our help. 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,392 Cathy, do you know the rules for a first date? 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,711 - It's not a date. - No, it's not a date, Debs. 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,156 Because I don't know what it was like in the... 6 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,277 - '40s? - '70s. 7 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:22,910 Yeah. But these days if you sleep with him, you're a whore, 8 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,151 and if you don't, you're frigid. 9 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,277 Yeah, but it's not a date, love, remember? 10 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,310 He's just a man that I met online who lost his wife last year, so it couldn't be less romantic. 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,552 - What I did before Ryan was, I had a method. - OK. 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,872 What I did was, I didn't sleep with the boys I wanted to sleep with, 13 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,360 in case they lost respect for me, 14 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,150 and instead I slept with the boys I didn't want to sleep with. 15 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,993 That's a really good way of doing it. 16 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,878 Isn't it? 17 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,114 Do you want me to sort your hair out? 18 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,157 I think I'm all right, actually. 19 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,638 You gonna join us in the garden, Cathy? 20 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,555 Cos, no offence, but your arms are so white they make me wanna puke. 21 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,519 Sorry about Debs. 22 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,990 Oh, don't be silly. She's just trying to help. 23 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,037 Yeah. 24 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,320 Yeah, she's really nice. 25 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:18,474 She's like my cousin but also like my best friend, if that makes sense. 26 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,237 I think she's, erm... 27 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,476 I think she's going through the menopause. 28 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,551 Do you know what the menopause is, love? 29 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,197 Well, not exactly, no. 30 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,350 Right. 31 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,397 I know it makes you mental. 32 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,712 So when I went on my first date with Dave... 33 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,870 (Giggles) 34 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,235 Is this gonna be rude? 35 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,674 Yeah. A little bit. 36 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,672 (Chuckling) Oh, Cathy. I'm blushing. 37 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:49,594 When we went on our first date, we went back to his and, you know, did it. 38 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,552 - Did what? - Sex. 39 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,710 (Giggles) 40 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,995 Cathy! 41 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,959 And we did it over and over again that night 42 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,636 and I don't think we came out of his bedroom the whole weekend 43 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,270 because we were just doing it over and over again. 44 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,317 That's revolting. 45 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,756 Oh, my God! Cathy! 46 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,036 (TV on) 47 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:13,440 Oh, my God. 48 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,080 - Cathy, I never knew you were such a minx! - (TV off) 49 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,276 (Chuckles) 50 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,910 Ooh, you dirty little grot-bag. (Giggles) 51 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,034 Blimey. 52 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,077 You saucy little bitch. 53 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:27,720 Rotten old slut... 54 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,269 - That's enough. - Sorry. (Chuckles) 55 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,792 - All right, love? Can I get you anything? - No, I'm good. 56 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,396 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way round 57 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:45,755 ♪ Boom-boom, boom-boom 58 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,400 ♪ Two bottle 'a whisky for the way 59 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:52,317 ♪ And I sure would like some sweet company 60 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,040 ♪ Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say? - Listen to this one. 61 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,520 On your mum and dad's first date... 62 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:57,875 ♪ When I'm gone ♪ When I'm gone 63 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,715 ♪ When I'm gone ♪ When I'm gone 64 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,872 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 65 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,599 ♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair 66 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,115 ♪ You're gonna miss me everywhere 67 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,079 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 68 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,836 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way round ♪ Boom-boom, boom-boom 69 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,879 ♪ The one with the prettiest view 70 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,078 ♪ It's got mountains, it's got rivers, it's got woods that'll give you shivers 71 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,031 ♪ But it sure would be prettier with you 72 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,352 ♪ When I'm gone 73 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,432 ♪ When I'm gone 74 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,672 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone - (Beep of central locking) 75 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,397 - Hello? - I'm in here. 76 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,437 (TV on in background) 77 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,917 Sorry I'm late. 78 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,674 Kelly's cousin keeps threatening to do my hair. 79 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,197 Oh, dear. Why? 80 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,834 Erm... 81 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,435 Because she's completely and utterly nuts. 82 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,159 (They chuckle) 83 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,918 Her name's Debs. 84 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,195 What's she like? 85 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,876 Well, we've talked about the shape of the solar system. 86 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,270 - It's shaped like an egg. - Of course it is. 87 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,716 We've talked about turquoise. 88 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,598 - Turquoise? - Yeah, turquoise. 89 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,673 - Debbie doesn't think it counts as a colour. - Oh. 90 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,479 We did a selfie. 91 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,836 She showed me a picture of the world's biggest dog. 92 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,434 Oh. Was it big? 93 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:24,749 Yeah. Yeah. 94 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,275 In fairness to her, it was massive. 95 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,714 (Both chuckle) 96 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,720 You all packed for your holiday? 97 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,474 Yeah, got some bits from the fridge that were going out of date. 98 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,200 - Oh, lovely. Thanks. - So where do you want me to drop you off? 99 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,556 The Pizza Express by the station, if that's all right. 100 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,280 - Mm. - Oh, and there's the other thing. 101 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:46,114 - Debbie keeps calling it a date. - Calling what a date? 102 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,953 DEBBIE: Cathy? 103 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,952 - That's her. - Cathy! 104 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,997 (Both chuckle) 105 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,877 Yes, Debbie? 106 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,517 Sorry, Cathy. 107 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,069 - She wants to do something about your hair. - OK. 108 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,834 Just something to stop you looking so ugly. No offence. 109 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,070 None taken. 110 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,629 Cathy, could you make the fan colder? 111 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,030 Er, well, that's as cold as it goes, Maureen. 112 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,840 I want you to make the fan colder! 113 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,559 I'm sticky. 114 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,758 Why don't you go and sit in the living room? It's cooler in there. 115 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:18,797 (Tuts) 116 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,080 - She doesn't mean ugly, do you, Debs? - No, I do. 117 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,115 Take your cardigan off. 118 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,034 Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, you pervert! 119 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,479 Well, I, I think I'm fine, thanks. Thanks, Debbie. 120 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:38,713 I'll just leave my hair as it is in terms of colour, length, shape 121 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,271 and, to use your word from earlier, straggliness. 122 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,559 OK. 123 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,757 Can you put that down, love? 124 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,793 Dave got you it, didn't he? 125 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,075 Yeah. 126 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,753 It's a bit, erm... 127 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,069 I dunno how to put it. 128 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,800 Well, it's like a thing in a museum, isn't it? 129 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,031 And everyone's like, oh, it would've been nice in the olden days 130 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,840 but you'd only wear it now if you were like your age... 131 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,070 No offence. 132 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,790 ..or like a hippy girl with a great big bush. 133 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,157 - Lovely. - (Footsteps approach) 134 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,639 - Debs! - What? 135 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,599 You can't talk about bushes in front of old people! How many times? 136 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,875 Hi, Reg. Maureen. 137 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,953 - You all right, Michael? - Yeah. How are you? 138 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,874 Oh, Michael, this is my cousin, Debbie. 139 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,917 Debbie, this is Michael. 140 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,196 Ohh. Is he the one who's after Cathy? 141 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,637 - No. - Debbie. 142 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,234 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Never. 143 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,232 No. No. 144 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,471 No, Debs, this is Michael. 145 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,075 - I just meant that he's nice to her. - Aw. 146 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,117 He's just like one of the girls. 147 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,800 Cathy would never go out with him. Would she? 148 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,837 No. 149 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,310 You should've seen him when he was your age. 150 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,198 He was a pansy. 151 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,749 - The girls wouldn't touch him. - (Giggling) 152 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,354 - That's sadly very, very true. - (Both laugh) 153 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,070 - You having a good morning? - Yeah. 154 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,550 Yeah, we've just been keeping Cathy entertained. 155 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,359 - Yeah, she mentioned that. - Wow! 156 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,669 (Wolf whistle) 157 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,433 Do a twirl! 158 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,000 You look lovely, Mum. 159 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,037 Go on, do a twirl. 160 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,399 Aw. 161 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,075 - When my mum goes on a date... - It's not a date. 162 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,959 ..she's, like, "Have I got everything? Got my condoms, charger?" 163 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,156 - Diaphragm. - Yeah. 164 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,471 Yeah. My mum's the same. Condoms, charger, 165 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,155 nip upstairs to pop in the diaphragm and away she goes. 166 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,800 - Shall we? - Yeah. I'm just gonna use your toilet, OK? 167 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,075 Mm. 168 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,833 "Toilet". (Laughs) 169 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,992 I love old people. Just call it a bog like everyone else. 170 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,795 Maybe you should sit in the shade for a bit, Debbie. 171 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,837 Yeah. Probably. 172 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:50,077 Seriously, though, Cathy, have you got some condoms? 173 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,277 - Yeah. I've got hundreds. - Oh, great. 174 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,317 Good luck! 175 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,077 (Gasps) 176 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,076 You been? 177 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,992 No. Er... No. 178 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,719 Debbie seemed lovely. 179 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,359 I don't know what your problem was. 180 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,715 She's going out with Ryan. 181 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,872 Which apparently means she's the expert on dating. 182 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,395 She was going on and on about my lunch today. 183 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,235 She wanted to know all about the bloke I'm meeting. 184 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,232 Just... Just the normal things, you know, 185 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,280 like what phone he's got, what gym he goes to, exactly how his wife died. 186 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,197 Apparently I'm lucky because she likes an older man, Debbie does, 187 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,797 and if she could have sex with any older man in the world, 188 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,236 the one man Debbie would have sex with is... 189 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,997 And this was a surprise. 190 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,037 Neil Kinnock. 191 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,120 - Neil Kinnock? - Neil Kinnock. 192 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,953 (Both laugh) 193 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,790 - You going, then? - Yeah, yeah. 194 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,792 So what's this about a date? 195 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,439 Oh, no. It's just Kelly being Kelly. 196 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,273 I'm just having lunch with a friend. 197 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,274 He's on one of the online forums. His wife died last year, so... 198 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,192 Oh, nice. 199 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,717 You might need me to come in if you want and check out he's not a weirdo or... 200 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,871 Don't be silly. He seems fine. 201 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,395 - He's... He's very caring. - Ah, OK. 202 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,951 No, I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is very nice. I'd like to meet him. 203 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,472 - Right, well.. - Yeah, I'll, er, yeah. 204 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,234 - I'll see you downstairs. - Yeah, yeah. Great. 205 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,357 KELLY: I broke her necklace, Debs! 206 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,316 Debs. I broke her necklace. 207 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,200 I broke Cathy's necklace. 208 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,636 Oh, my lord, she's gonna be furious, babe. 209 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,838 I know these things. I'm an observer. I observe life. 210 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,115 It's a gift. 211 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,351 - Babe? - Yeah. 212 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,714 She'll go mental, babe. 213 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,315 She'll be screaming, crying, tearing her hair out. 214 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,880 Oh, God. 215 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,758 She already hates me. 216 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,832 We went on and on about turquoise. 217 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,038 Well, we've got a point there, babe. It's not a colour. 218 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,679 (Voices continue in background) 219 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,277 (Ice-cream van music) 220 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,472 All right, Pauline? 221 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,358 Lovely day, isn't it? 222 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,397 It's all right. 223 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,509 I've got some people coming to look at my car. 224 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,876 - I used to drive a BMW. - Oh, nice. 225 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,917 My mate's dad's got one of them. 226 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,037 - Has he? - Yeah. 227 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,880 Yes, er... 228 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,759 Actually, an interesting story- 229 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,480 when we were together, my husband took me to Brands Hatch. 230 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,029 - We were in the suite. - Oh, yeah, I've had a look in there. 231 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,077 - It's nice, isn't it? - Yes. 232 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,637 Yeah. 233 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,680 I've been to the Maldives. 234 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,399 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 235 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,437 I've never been anywhere like that. 236 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,677 Thought not. 237 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,599 Oh, hello, Pauline, I've got it in here. 238 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:25,955 Oh, fantastic, yeah. 239 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,919 - Lovely day, isn't it? - Not bad. 240 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,673 I'd rather be on the Med. 241 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,150 - Yeah? - Yeah. 242 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,550 - Have you ever been to the boot of Italy? - No. 243 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,313 The Okavango Delta? 244 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,198 - In Botswana? - No. 245 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,476 Oh, you should go. You'd love it there. 246 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,199 The locals are so friendly. 247 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,793 See what Derek did. 248 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,637 Oh, OK. 249 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,998 He can't get enough of me. 250 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,755 Well, the biscuits were delicious, so thanks for that. 251 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,638 Not at all, Cathy. 252 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,677 Thanks for giving it back at last. 253 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,556 Looking forward to your holiday, Michael? 254 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,917 Bit of holiday romance! 255 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,756 Well, my daughters are there, aren't they, so I'll not be chasing any women. 256 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,150 No, I know. I'm only joking, mate. 257 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,913 It's you, isn't it? 258 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,598 (Text alert) 259 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,595 JASON: Michael, the hoover's broken! 260 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,954 (Hoover starts whirring) 261 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,997 It's all right. I've fixed it. 262 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,832 He's just a bloke I've been chatting to online. 263 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,230 His wife died last year, so... 264 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,551 It'll be nice. I'm looking forward to it. 265 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,915 Have you washed this? 266 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,878 Er, yes. 267 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,758 Mind if I give it a rinse? 268 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,797 No, go ahead. 269 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,157 I don't eat oranges in this country. 270 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,432 - No? - No. 271 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,399 Once you've been to Morocco, you'll never eat an orange here again. 272 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,880 Oh, are they nice? 273 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,474 Are they nice? 274 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,119 Are the oranges in Morocco nice? 275 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,637 (Chuckles) Yes, Cathy. The oranges in Morocco are very nice. 276 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,554 Oh. 277 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,637 I'm all right. 278 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,877 Well, sorry you had to come round. 279 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,073 If I'd known it was urgent, I'd have... 280 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,117 Derek's working all weekend. 281 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,312 Oh. That's annoying. 282 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,517 It's what Geoff used to say. 283 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,677 Oh. OK. 284 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,316 No, no. Derek's not like that, love. 285 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,834 No, I know he's not. 286 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,752 I know he's not. No. 287 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,797 I think I know Derek, Cathy, so... 288 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,280 He'd never cheat on you. 289 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,591 He's a big softie beneath it all. 290 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,151 OK, Cathy. No need to patronise me. I think I know what Derek's like. 291 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,197 He'd never do anything to hurt you. 292 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,991 I mean, you can just put that out of your mind. 293 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,471 I mean, he can be thoughtless sometimes but he adores you. 294 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,517 He completely adores you. 295 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,078 Well, of course he does, Cathy. 296 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,117 What's not to like? 297 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,520 - Can you smell something? - (Sniffs) 298 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,557 (Hoover whirring) 299 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,877 (Hoover stops) 300 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,359 - Michael... - Yeah? 301 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,678 Can you smell something? 302 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,400 Yeah. Smells like something's burning. 303 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,040 Smells like something's burning, doesn't it? 304 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,990 Yeah. 305 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,876 Have you farted? 306 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,917 You'd know if I'd farted. 307 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,310 - There's definitely something. - There's not, babe. 308 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,119 I've got a perfect sense of smell. 309 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,520 - Have you? - Yeah. 310 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,069 Oh. Sorry. I must've imagined it. 311 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,992 Maybe next door's having a bonfire. 312 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,314 Or a barbecue or something. 313 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,552 Please let's talk about this smell a bit more, Cathy. It's fascinating. 314 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,520 - Must be a bonfire or something. - It's a funny time of year to have a bonfire. 315 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,875 Is it a bonfire? 316 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,600 Think about it, babe. Why have a bonfire this time of year? 317 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,080 Or a barbecue? 318 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,231 - Could be a barbecue. - No. 319 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,674 Reg! 320 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,036 It's a funny time of year to have a bonfire. 321 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,277 Unless it's a barbecue. 322 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,917 (Whirring) 323 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,919 Well, I'd love to stick around and talk about whether a smell's a bonfire or a barbecue 324 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,957 but my Uber's three minutes away. 325 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,480 - Have a lovely time on your date. - Oh, it's not a date. 326 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,233 It's, erm... 327 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,152 Well, whatever it is, it'll be fine. 328 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,872 I just have to breathe on a man and he falls in love with me. 329 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,157 OK. 330 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,593 And don't worry about, you know... 331 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,319 Oh, no, I'm not. 332 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,472 And just call any time if you're worried or you need some reassurance. 333 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,712 I don't know why you're going on about it. Everything's absolutely fine. 334 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,757 I'm having a wonderful weekend. 335 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,080 I'll probably have to walk back past the builders. 336 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,480 Pardon? 337 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,677 Oh, sorry, I was talking to myself. 338 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,150 I'll probably have to walk back past the builders. 339 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,072 Outside. 340 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,594 - Is that a problem? - A problem? 341 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,080 Oh, yeah. 342 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,514 It's a big problem. 343 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,071 They'll be leering at me and wolf-whistling. Shouting their sexist comments. 344 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,799 Oh, right. 345 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,837 Does that happen a lot? 346 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,157 They can't get enough of me. 347 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,237 Hello, there. 348 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,757 - OK? - Yeah. 349 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,636 Oh. Could you, erm...? 350 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,873 I was wearing it round at Reg and Maureen's 351 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,679 and it's covered in cat hair. 352 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,717 Oh. Oh, dear! 353 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,718 It's great that you're going, isn't it? 354 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,995 Yeah. 355 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,833 Yeah. It's important that I get out. 356 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,910 I mean, that's, that's actually, er, an idea. 357 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,231 I mean, if you want to get out more, 358 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,758 then maybe when I come back from Spain, erm, we should go grab a coffee. 359 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,957 What's that? 360 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,671 I'm saying we could go for a coffee. 361 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,672 What? You and me? 362 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:56,910 Yeah. 363 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,957 Where would we go? 364 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,637 Starbucks? 365 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,155 Cafetière at Sainsbury's. 366 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,800 Oh, no. We'll just have one here. It'll be much cheaper. 367 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,633 OK? 368 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,359 - Yeah. - Oh, right, good. 369 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,397 Well, I'd better get going. 370 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,992 Er, I'm just gonna, erm... 371 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,037 I won't be a minute. 372 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,478 - Everything OK? - Yeah. 373 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,631 Just shutting the window in case it... 374 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,637 In case it rains. Er, yeah. 375 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,720 Erm. Ooh. Just going to... 376 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,877 (She chuckles) Yeah. 377 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,517 (She chuckles) 378 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,110 There. 379 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,157 That's better. 380 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,237 (Sighs) 381 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,113 All right? 382 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,637 I don't wanna go. 383 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,997 I don't wanna go, Michael. 384 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,113 What an idiot. 385 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,191 I thought it'd be a good idea because it'd get me out, stop me being lonely. 386 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,910 But I'm not lonely because there's not enough people around, am I? 387 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,913 No. You've got Kelly and Debbie taking care of that. 388 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,673 Yeah, yeah. (Chuckles) 389 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,757 I just miss him. 390 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,469 I wish I still smoked. (Laughs) 391 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,640 No. Sod it. I'm not going. It's silly. 392 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,157 I'll stay here. 393 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,114 You've brought 400 yoghurts round, haven't you? 394 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,157 They need eating. 395 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,672 And Jason's here, isn't he? 396 00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,959 And if he is gonna move to Australia, I need to spend more quality time with him. 397 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,554 So, no. I'm gonna stay here with you 398 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,678 and we're gonna, we're gonna work through those yoghurts. 399 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,718 I think you should go. 400 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,873 Oh, no, don't...don't say that. 401 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,714 You might have a good time. He might be a lot of fun. 402 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,154 - He's probably not, though, is he? - What else are you gonna do? 403 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,994 Are you gonna sit in the garden, talking to Debbie? 404 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,951 This is the kind of thing that Dave wanted you to do, isn't it? 405 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,318 Yeah. 406 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,790 The only thing that I can compare it to is, is, is, 407 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,236 it's probably a bit like I felt 408 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,280 when Abi left with the girls. 409 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,397 You know. 410 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,355 The last thing in the world you want to do is go out. 411 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,397 But you...you have to. 412 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,355 Brian...that's his name. Bad start. 413 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,431 He sent me a really weird text. 414 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,477 - Did he? - Yeah, he wants a hug. 415 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,477 I don't wanna give him a hug. 416 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,750 Imagine me going up to some smelly old bloke and giving him a hug! I mean... 417 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,597 Maybe he was nervous. 418 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,477 You're too nice. 419 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,837 (Sighs) 420 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,117 Thanks, Michael. 421 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,199 What would I do without you? 422 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,797 - Get a cab? - (Laughs) 423 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,230 (Exhales) 424 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,277 Come on. 425 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,110 Send me an email, let me know how it goes? 426 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,157 Yeah, course I will. 427 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,837 Kelly broke your necklace. 428 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,117 I'm fine. 429 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,037 (Sniffs) I'm fine. Sorry. 430 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:16,077 It's just, erm... 431 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,957 I'm fine. 432 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,997 It's just a necklace. 433 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,677 Let's go. 434 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:34,391 Brian said he's gonna wear a pink cravat so I know it's him. 435 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,990 - Wow. He sounds like quite a catch. - I know! 436 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,833 A pink cravat! 437 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,071 There's so many things wrong with that. 438 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,277 Sorry about Debbie. 439 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,631 - She's not like you and me, is she? - No. 440 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,717 Yeah, I was like that when I was 26. 441 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,959 And how old are you now? 442 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,157 27. 443 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,880 I can't believe what an idiot I was when I was 26. 444 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,717 Do you want to talk to me about something, love? 445 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,120 No... 446 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,595 - Are you sure? - Yep. 447 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,711 - Have you told her? - I will, I will. 448 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,076 I'm just softening her up with small talk. 449 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,435 Cathy... 450 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,877 I broke your necklace. 451 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,157 The one Dave got you. 452 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,199 The old lady one with the beads. 453 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,158 It's OK, love. It's fine. It's just... 454 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,197 And I smashed your ugly frog thing. 455 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,118 - My what? - Your ugly frog ornament thing. 456 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,839 I did it two weeks ago. 457 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,717 I'm so sorry about your necklace. 458 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,632 I just get all stretchy with elastic things 459 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,111 and I was just stretching it, just for fun, really, just to see how far it'd go, 460 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,511 and you probably know this already but you can stretch it really far and... 461 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,514 But I don't know why I'm making excuses. And now I'm making it all about me and... 462 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,957 I snapped it. I'm sorry. 463 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,636 And I smashed your frog thing because I wanted to see if it would bounce. 464 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,110 - Did it? - No. 465 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,157 Why's that? 466 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,197 Because it's made of china? 467 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,911 Do you know how much that frog thing cost? 468 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:25,595 70p. 469 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,751 Oh, God... 470 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,400 Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Cathy. 471 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,512 Don't worry, love. They're just things. 472 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,559 No, but it was from Dave. 473 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:37,835 He got me lots of stuff. 474 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,877 Come here. 475 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,957 Oh. Oh. This is so nice of you. 476 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,797 Oh, thank you. 477 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,551 Sorry, Kelly, love, that's actually a bit tight. 478 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,597 Oh, sorry. 479 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,397 It's still fairly tight. 480 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,637 There. Thanks. 481 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,200 Can you let me go now, love? 482 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,237 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 483 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,797 Sorry. 484 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:14,755 Bye, then. 485 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,069 Be back in a couple of hours. 486 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,914 Help yourself to lunch. There's that nice ham in the fridge. 487 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,640 Oh, thanks, Cathy. Could you put this on for me? 488 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,429 50 quid each way. 489 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,477 Oh, yeah, of course. 490 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,029 - Have you got the, er... - Don't worry about that. 491 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,712 - Erm... - Oh, don't be tight, Cathy. 492 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:32,995 Come on, girl. 493 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,673 Have a nice time. 494 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,194 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 495 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,033 Don't do anything I would do. 496 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,271 (Both cackle) 497 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,157 (They sigh) 498 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,838 Sorry. 499 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,877 - You off? - Yeah. 500 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,959 - Have a lovely time. - Thanks, love. 501 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,157 - Good luck, Cathy! - Oh, thanks, Debbie. 502 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:05,674 - Just be yourself. - Thanks. 503 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,559 - Or like a better version. - Debs! She doesn't need your help. 504 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,597 - She's 59. - She's what? 505 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,957 - You ready? - Yeah. 506 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,239 (Beep of central locking) 507 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,791 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way round 508 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,475 ♪ Two bottle 'a whisky for the way 509 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,516 ♪ And I sure would like some sweet company 510 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,037 ♪ And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say? 511 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:46,755 ♪ When I'm gone 512 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,755 ♪ When I'm gone 513 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,639 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 514 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,473 ♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair 515 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,040 ♪ You're gonna miss me everywhere 516 00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,793 ♪ Oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone 37162

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