All language subtitles for Ghosts_2021_S04E16[_604].srt - eng(2)

JAY:
Oh, my God, I can't
believe this.

Why was the stripper
parachuting in?

SAMANTHA:
It was the "It's Raining Men"
package.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Chris.

Extra sad for us
young hotties.

Taken in our prime.

Eh, that's how it goes.
Life's a footy ball.

You never know
what way it's gonna bounce.

Man, I got to say,
his physique is great,

but his attitude's
even better.

Oh, this is not gonna be
good for business.

And poor Chris.
It is tragic, but...

he seems
to be handling it well.

Wait, Chris is now a ghost?

So there's just some hot,
invisible Australian guy

hanging around now?
[chuckles]

I mean, he's okay.

You're all right yourself, love.

[nervous chuckle]
Are you blushing?

No. As if.

I cannot believe this.

The dinosaur-loving
stripper of my dreams

just expired on our property.
[gasps]

Here he comes.
ISAAC: Time to dazzle him

with the old Higgintoot charm.
Mm.

Hey, name's Chris.

You two are ghosts, right?

Yep. I'm Flower.

And what's your name, mate?

[nervous panting]

I...

Ice...

Your name is Ice?

Isaac.

Some people call me Ice.

Right on, Ice.

See you guys around.

Oof, that was tough to watch.

And I once watched
a bear eat my corpse.

The cubs were cute, though,
when they joined in.

[sniffs]

[grunts softly]

[gnawing]

[snarls]

♪ ♪

[chuckles] Who's the guy
dressed like Frasier?

That's Jay's
cousin Sunil.

He just got dumped
by his girlfriend,

and he's here to
bro out with Jay.

Yeah, so, unfortunately
you won't see the restaurant

up and running this weekend.

Because of the stripper
that crashed through the roof?

Yeah, it's tragic, but it kind
of puts things in perspective.

Maybe makes you feel not so bad

about Courtney breaking up
with you at Benihana?

She thought I wasn't
gonna make a scene

in front of a seven-year-old's
birthday party.

She was wrong.

Oh, God, I miss making a scene.
Everyone watching you, scared,

saying, "Alberta,
put the gun down."

It's a great way
to get attention.

Sunil, I love Courtney,

but the truth is, she sucks
and you can do better.

SAMANTHA:
Hey, Sunil.

Oh, hey.
So glad you could make it.

And happy St. Patrick's Day.

Sam did one of those
ancestry websites.

It turns out
I'm ten percent Irish.

And more Neanderthal
than you'd expect,

but they didn't have
a T-shirt for that.

Oh, uh, Mark wants
to see us in the barn.

He has an estimate
for the roof repair.

He said he could email it,
but he wanted to see

the look on our faces.
Do not like the sound of that.

Hey, Sunil, um,
you want to come?

The police tape's still up.

Maybe I could take a picture
of you in the chalk outline.

It's really nice
of you, Jay, but...

I think I'm just gonna stay here
and finish my breakfast.

This poor cousin.

I was going to make a joke
about how bad things are

when a 500-year-old virgin
is feeling sorry for you,

but then I restrained myself.

Thank you, Alberta,
that's very thoughtful.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today my people celebrate
by getting very drunk,

instead of just
the normal amount.

[laughs]
I can make those jokes now.

Yeah, you were really
holding back before.

Wow, everyone really seems to be

in the St. Paddy's Day
spirit around here.

Were you... talking to me?

Well, I mean, there's
no one else in here.

Oh, my God. He can see her?
What is happening?

Are you a guest?
No.

I am not a ghost.

He said "guest."

Oh, yes. I am a guest.
Not a ghost.

I-I'm... I'm Sunil.

My name is Henrietta.

But they call me Hetty.

Oh, uh, could I offer you
some coffee or...?

This is so freaking weird.
HETTY: No, thank you.

Uh, it-it-it-it goes
right through me.

Anyway, bye.

Uh, yeah. Bye.

Okay, my initial overture
with Chris

left something to be desired,
but it is a new day.

And I have crafted
the perfect opening line...

[clears throat]

"Hello, Chris. My name is Isaac.

And we are soulmates."
TREVOR: All right, bud.

You're gonna have
to take it down a notch.

Remember, as far
as this guy knows,

you guys just met.

Imagine if someone
that you just met

told you they broke off
their engagement for you.

Hmm. Perhaps it is
a bit forward.

Yeah, you just got
to play it cool.

People don't like desperate.

That's why Neil Young
always went home alone.

"Play it cool."
Perhaps I play it cool...

...as "Ice."

Which is what he thinks
my name is.

Sup, Chris? How is it hanging?
Want to talk pterodactyl?

Yeah, I wouldn't bring up
dinosaurs right away, either.

Yeah, but we both
love dinosaurs.

Again, it's creepy
that you know that.

Let him tell you that
he loves dinosaurs,

and then you can nerd out over
some dino facts or whatever.

I'm gonna tell him
that the Spinosaurus is

the fastest swimmer.

But first I'm gonna
let him come to me

because that's how
the Iceman does things.

I wouldn't call yourself
the Iceman either.

The Iceman hears you.

[smacks lips, winces]

This is incredible!
You can be seen by the living?

Wait, can you touch stuff?

No, I'm sadly unable to interact
with the physical world,

which I discovered moments ago

after attempting to access
Samantha's pill cabinet.

But why?

Why can she be seen now
after all these years?

What if it's because

it's St. Patrick's Day,
and you're Irish?

Interesting.

But then, why has
this never happened before?

Maybe because you never saw
the Irish as people before.

But now that you do,
you can also be seen?

PETE:I wonder if this
is permanent

or if this is just,
like, for the day?

That will go
a long way to determining

which tier ghost power this is.
What's this?

There are tiers to ghost powers?

Seemed insensitive to mention
before we knew you had one,

but, yes, there's-there's
Tier One: the godlike powers.

That's me and Trevor.

Uh, excuse me, uh,
my dream thing is also Tier One.

Adjacent.
Then there's Tier Two,

that's Flower and Thor,

sort of neat but not
really that useful.

And then there's Tier Three,
which... [swallows]

is very useful in some
highly specific situations.

Hetty, hello.

Sunil. Hello.

I just wanted to tell you
that your gown is stunning.

I feel like nobody
dresses up anymore,

and I think it's a real shame.

Excuse me, is
it totally on?

Well, you look rather
dapper yourself.

[Alberta chuckles]

She used the "D"
word. It is on.

Um, I was going out for a walk.
Would you care to join me?

GHOSTS:
Ooh...

Uh, you're not planning on
leaving the property, are you?

I don't think so.

Then absolutely.
I would love to.

CHRIS:
If ghosts can go through walls,

why don't we just fall
through the floor?

We believe
that the spectral plane

on which we exist consists
of two core elements.

Vertical material,
or what we call "wall,"

is permeable to ghosts,

whereas horizontal material,

or floor, supports our weight.

There's also "well,"
which you should avoid.

Hey.
Hey there.

Ice, right? How you going?

I'm cool.
As my name would suggest.

The Iceman.

Pete, let's get back
to the ghost rules.

Yeah, why don't we? Um...

Okay, let's talk ghost boundary.

That mysterious force
that keeps ghosts

from leaving the property.

Yeah, rules don't really
apply to me.

Oh, so you can
leave the property?

Nah.

But I don't have a bedtime.

Okay.

Iceman is having a meltdown.
[gasps]

Damn it.
Why didn't I think of that?

Nice one, Flower.

ALBERTA:
Sam!

You're not gonna believe
what just happened.

You're not gonna believe
what just happened.
See?

I just went on a walk with
the most fascinating creature.

A woman of true refined
elegance and perfect posture.

A true throwback,

aside from some wildly
progressive views

on recreational drug use.

Who are you talking about?

Your guest!
Sunil, we don't have a guest.

Of course you do.
Her name is Hetty.

Hello.

Come on,
that was good, right?

Oh, my God.

Good afternoon.
Hi.

Oh, right. That guest.

How is this happening?

We think it has something to do
with it being St. Patrick's Day

and Hetty's recent realization
that she's Irish

having unlocked her ghost power.

It's all very interesting,
I would love to discuss it more,

but Sunil and I are supposed
to be having lunch shortly.

Sure, I can't eat,

but I can drink in
his beautiful eyes.

Why do the ghosts always
want to date my family?

I'm not sure lunch is
such a great idea, Hetty.

JAY:
Yes. It's a terrible idea.

Sunil's in a very
fragile state.

And it's not gonna go
anywhere

because you've been
dead for 150 years.

Oh, Jay. Never talk about
how long a lady's been dead.

Come on, it's just lunch, Jay.
Let her live a little.

The ghosts are saying you
should let me live a little.

Ooh, that's fun.
I feel like Samantha.

I'm sorry, I'm with Jay.
What good could come from this?

HETTY:
What good?

You forget that I have never
been on a proper date before.

I was part of a land deal
because I was

the only non-mustachioed sister.

Also, you're worried
about Sunil being fragile.

Don't you think it
would hurt his feelings

if Hetty just didn't
show up to the lunch?

Yeah. This guy's only
recently back out there.

That would be devastating.

Listen to the virgin.

He is an expert
on pain and rejection.

I was backing you up.

Wait, who's a virgin?
Sasappis.

You mean like when he was alive?

We don't have
to talk about this!

It doesn't matter. Jay,
maybe the ghosts are right.

It seems like it's
really important to Hetty.

Please, Jay.
It's just one lunch,

and it would mean
the world to me.

Man, it's harder
to say no to them

when you can see them
and hear them.

This is what I've
been telling you.

PETE:
Which is why, if you want
to suck the hard candy,

you have to do so directly
from Carol's fingers.

So, that about wraps up
orientation. Any questions?

Yes, mate.
How do we watch the telly

if we can't actually
press the buttons?

I'm not much of
a TV man, myself.

I prefer books. Long ones.

No pictures.

[chuckles softly]

So, the rumors are true,

we have a new ghost
on the property. Welcome.

I'm Lieutenant Colonel
Nigel Chessum.

Name's Chris.
Good to meet you.

Your tattoo.

That wouldn't be the skull

of a Pachycephalosaurus,

- would it?
- Whoa!

Good eye.
Look who knows their dinos.

Just breathe, man.
Stay cool.

What about you, Nige?
You got a favorite dinosaur?

Oh, I would have
to say Spinosaurus.

He is, after all,
the fastest swimmer...

I like Spinosaurus!

Okay, are-are you
a dino-man as well?

I'm the dino-man.

Nigel's only into dinosaurs
because I was into dinosaurs.

Isaac, don't.

No, you know what?
To hell with it.

Enough games, Chris.

You know that empty chair
you were dancing for?

That was me.

We exchanged a series

of sensual and erotic
Dilophosaurus clicks.

And not only that.

Our connection opened my eyes.

Sorry. Our connection?

Yes! We both love dinosaurs
and hate Alexander Hamilton.

And my ghost power is
a fart smell.

And you lack
the ability to smell.

My point is, we are soulmates!

And fortune has shined upon us

in the form
of your untimely death!
Okay.

I need some air.
Hmm?

Yeah.
Okay. But we're soulmates.

Soulmates!

Oof, that was tough to watch.

And I once watched a bear
eat my corpse. [chuckles]

The cubs were cute, though,
when they joined in.

[gnawing]

[snarls]

SUNIL:
You know, I never asked.

Where do you live?

Nearby.

Quite nearby.

[phone buzzes]
Oh! Excuse me.

You know, you haven't taken
your phone out once.

You are so present.

Yeah, my ex was always on hers,

taking selfies and photos
of her smoothies.

Hmm. Exes.

Mine was always bedding the maid

and monopolizing
the local rail system.

[chuckles] Sounds like
an old-timey robber baron.

[laughs]
Yeah, but he wasn't.

That puts that to bed.
Good save, Hetty.

SUNIL:
This is so nice.

I love that
we met organically.

Yeah, no texting
or swiping.

Truthfully, I detest
the modern dating scene.

Yeah, maybe I was born
in the wrong century.

[chuckles]

I know exactly what you mean.

Aw, they're bonding.

I am rooting for these two.

Are your lamb chops okay?
You haven't touched them.

Oh, I ate one.

You did?
HETTY: Mm-hmm.

When you were on your phone.

Where's the bone?

I consumed it.

Waste not, want not.

You truly are
one of a kind, Hetty.

And he bought it.[laughs]

I don't know what
the endgame is,

but God love you,
you are pulling it off.

Isaac, I've come
to apologize.

I feel as though I may have
played a part in your...

Implosion?

It's a word I've
heard bandied about.

[chuckles softly]
Look.

Later on, Chris and I
got to chat further,

and we got to know
each other a little bit,

and dare I say,
we hit it off.

What do you mean, "hit it off"?

Well, to make a long story
very short,

we smooched.

It wasn't quite a snog,

but it was certainly
more than a peck.

I didn't want you to hear it
from someone else.

Hmm. A smooch, huh?

You must be quite elated.

I don't need to tell you

these last few months
have been difficult,

but maybe this is the light

at the end of a very
long, dark tunnel.

And it's just nice to have
a little bit of hope again.

That was a thing that was

in very short supply
of late for me.

Well, I'm glad you're happy.

And those pecs, my God.
[chuckles]

He can make them dance at will.

And when you press
on his chest,

your hands don't go in.

They stop against it,
like marble.

I think this conversation
has run its course.

SUNIL:
I mean, I watched
The Gilded Age,

but you truly know
a lot about that era.
Mm.

I had no idea Mamie Fish
had such loose morals.

Oh, she was
a two-bit ankle whore.

There wasn't
a gentleman in Newport

who hadn't seen
those sock puppies.

Okay, and you know this how?

I read that on the Internet,

which is something
that a lot of people

who are currently alive do.

Hetty, I really have had
such a great time

getting to know you.

[chuckles softly]
I don't want it to end.

Where is this going?

This is crazy,

but what if we met up
again next weekend?

We could go to Newport,
tour the mansions.

[stammers] I, of course,
am flattered...

I just don't think
we should rush into things.

But doesn't it feel good
to rush in?

All that ankle talk got him
all hot and bothered.

The man truly
is a throwback.

Let others play games
while we seize the moment.

♪ ♪

[gasps]

What's wrong?
I just...

I can't do this.

Oh, Hetty...[gasps]

What the...?

Yeah, he's gonna
think that's weird.

Excuse me.

And... that's not helping.

I really have enjoyed
our time together.

I'm sorry.

[screams]

HETTY: Samantha, something
terrible happened with Sunil.

Oh, no, Hetty said something
terrible happened with Sunil.

I can hear her.
This is so confusing.

He tried to kiss me
and I walked through a door.

Tale as old as time.

I told you
this was a bad idea.

[smacks lips]
Poor Sunil.

He's just trying
to get back out there,

and the dating world is weird
enough as it is, and now this?

Jay, you're not gonna-- Aah!

Oh... you okay, bud?

Sunil...
Stop.

What are you?

I'm Hetty Woodstone.

I built this mansion

and died here in 1895
on this very property.

What are you saying?

I'm a ghost.

Oh, my God.

A ghost?!

That's a lot to process
because as a normal person,

I don't believe in ghosts.

We just thought
you were a paying guest.

[sighs] What a bummer.
And scary.

Sunil, I know I should have
told you sooner,

but I, too, didn't want
our time to end.

And I-I just want to thank you.

For the first time
in a long time,

maybe ever, I feel seen.

Aw.
I mean, there was this...

casual thing
with another ghost,

but that was mostly physical

and sort of a rebound, actually,
from a washing machine...

You got to get this thing
back on track, Hetty.
HETTY: The point is,

I will cherish
our time together.

I know you feel out of step
with the modern world,

but please remember
that a wonderful man

never goes out of style.

Those are wise words, Sunil.

Don't be so scared that you
forget those wise words.

You will find someone worthy

who appreciates you.

And is alive
and can touch stuff.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Sunil.

Oh! [exclaims]
Oh, my God! The wall!

[screams]
Ghosts are real!

Awesome work, guys.
Way to sell it.

CHRIS:
Oi, mate!

Hey, Ice.

How you going?

ISAAC:
Where did you come from?

You won't believe
what happened.

What the hell was that?

Well, I was mucking
about with my chute,

trying to figure out
why it didn't open,

and then, poof!

Off I went.

Reckon it's my ghost power.

I'm sorry, flying is
your ghost power?

Yeah, and it seems
like I can go anywhere I want.

Sort of a Mary Poppins
situation.

Oh, and that ghost boundary
Pete was on about,

it doesn't seem to apply
when I'm airborne.

[laughs]
Of course it doesn't.

So I guess I'll be going, then.
Wait, what do you mean?

You're leaving?

Yeah, yeah, big footy match
in Melbourne this weekend.

I'm gonna watch it
from the pitch.

But what about Nigel?

Who?
The British fellow

with whom you've grown close.

He's gonna feel so...

rejected. Again.

Ah! Right. Nigel.

Good, good bloke.
But, you know,

I got the whole
wide world out there, so...

[inhales]
Look, give him my regards.

Well, yes, but...
Well, that is me gone.

Hang in there, Ice.
[clicks tongue]

♪ ♪

One minute till midnight.

Well, here we are.

These may very well be my final
few moments on this plane.

We're gonna miss you, Hetty.

I can't believe you're
turning into a leprechaun.

It's so sad.

JAY:
I want to thank
you, Hetty,

even though I can't believe
another one of my family members

fell in love with a ghost.
Hmm.

I think you gave Sunil the
confidence to not settle.

And at the very least,
it is good to know that--

oh, how do you say it--
I've still got it.

SASAPPIS:
Ten seconds.

Goodbye, Jay.

See you later, Hetty.

Till next St. Patrick's Day.

Perhaps.
If that's how this works.

SASAPPIS:
And... it's midnight.

Well, what's happening?

Am I gone?

I can still see you.

It can't be.
It wasn't just for one day?

I am visible?

To everybody?

[laughing]:
I am the most powerful ghost

in the whole world.

Tier One! Tier One...

And she's gone.

Oh, that's right,
this clock was a bit off.

Damn it.

Higgintoot, have
you seen Chris?

We had plans to walk
around the pond.

I've looked all around, but...

I can't seem to find him.

Nigel, I hate to be the bearer
of bad news, but Chris left.

What do you mean, he left?
Yes.

I was right there
when it happened.

He...
[clicks tongue]

He what?

He got sucked off, Nigel.

Really?
Yep.

The white light. The going up.
The whole shebang.

But he just got here.
What? How did it happen?

Well, actually, um,
he was talking about you

and how you two connected.

And up he went.

Meeting you must have been
exactly what he needed.

I see. I won't lie,
I shall miss him.

But my time with Chris
has given me hope.

Good things can happen.

Like a wonderful man
falling to his death

right out of the clear blue sky.

Indeed.

Hey, maybe Sam can bring
him back next Halloween.

With one of those seances.

I can't think
of a reason why not.

Well, see you around.

[fake chuckle]
Eh, that's next year's problem.

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