All language subtitles for The.Parenting.2025.1080p.WEB.H264-AccomplishedYak

Allie!

Allie, you're missing
the end of MASH!

BJ spelled "Goodbye" in rocks.

And Hawkeye sees it.

You're not for real
crying at this?

Yes! Did you see the rocks?

I saw the rocks.

Just tell your sister
it's time for dinner.

You tell her. I
don't wanna tell her.

Excuse me.

You kids are gettin' a little
too big for your shorts lately.

Hate you kids.

Allie?

Come on.

You don't have to talk to me.

You can just eat and look angry.

Allie!

Gimme a break.

Seriously?

What are you doing
in there anyway?

Check and see if we've got
another one in the garage freezer.

Let's just go out.

- Jamie.
- Why not?

Just, please, help me out.

Don't be a dick.

Be my sweet boy.

- Fine.
- Thank you, Jamie.

You're making a very
noble sacrifice.

I want you to know...

Feeling thirsty this summer?

Get ready for a
new great splash.

Don't burn it this time, okay?

Wow, it tastes like real grapes!

Fortified with nine
vitamins and minerals.

Mom?

Allie?

Allie!

No!

No!

Oh, no.

What do you see?

Allie! Tell me what you see!

Oh, my God!

Open the door!

Just open the door!

♪ If you wanna
Run away with me ♪

♪ I know a galaxy And I
can take you for a ride ♪

♪ I had a premonition That
we fell into a rhythm ♪

♪ Where the music
Don't stop for life ♪

♪ Glitter in the sky... ♪

Okay, I don't wanna make a decision
that I'm gonna regret later,

so just walk me through
it one more time.

Okay. Would you
rather have a cat

- that can talk...
- Okay.

But all it can
say is, "Fuck it."

So it just walks around
all day saying, "Fuck it"?

All day. "Fuck it. Fuck
it. Fuck it. Fuck it."

- Or?
- Or a cat with a human butt.

Okay, is it a sexy
butt like mine?

No, it's very saggy.

Ew! Well, can it wear pants?

Just decide, 'cause it's
not really happening so...

Okay, so this "Fuck it" cat,

is it chill like, "Fuck
it, I'm down for whatever,"

or is it more like, "Fuck it,
I don't wanna live anymore"?

What is wrong with you?
Did you take a gummy?

I don't even have any
gummies. I'm just havin' fun.

I'm excited that
we're doing this.

Also, look at this
freakin' house.

Your parents have an
ensuite bathroom. And mine.

No one has to tinkle
anywhere near each other.

And it's like, what,

350 bucks a night for
a fucking mansion?

And look at the sunroom.

Look at the sunroom.

I love how horny you
are for this house.

I'm not horny.

It's just so sunny.

You rented an impressive
house for our parents

and now you're all horny

- in your pants area.
- Josh.

Josh, stop. Kate's watching.

Kate, I'm just
petting him. See?

All right, all right.

Hands on the steering wheel.

Oh, shit, it's my father.

Okay, they're in the Lyft and will
be at the house in 30 minutes.

All right, Josh, just remember,

when you meet my father,

sometimes he can be a
little awkward around...

Hey, Ro, just, come on.

Are you sure there's nothing I
need to know about your parents?

No. Mine are normal.

That must be nice.

Ro, this house is dope.

I know. This is what
I've been talking about.

Okay.

This is sick.

Do you love it?

I love it. I love you.

Mmm.

Don't be nervous, okay?
'Cause then I'll get nervous.

I'm not nervous.

Parents love me.
I'm the fun one.

- I'm fun too.
- Uh-huh.

Come on, Katie, go!

- Go pee-pees.
- All right, Katie.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, my God, Ro. How
much shit did you bring?

The mixie thing?

What are you planning on
doing with the mixie thing...

Ro?

Who's that?

Oh, I'm not sure.

Hi, I'm Brenda.

Hi. Hi, we're Josh and
Rohan, the renters.

Welcome to Hazleton Fields.

- Thank you.
- It used to be a working farm.

- Oh.
- Cows and goats, pigs...

- Oh.
- A duck.

And sometime in the
'80s, there was a fire.

It started in the basement and
then half the house just went...

- Oh.
- Yeah.

The family that was
here didn't live.

Well, they couldn't
live here anymore.

So, it's just kind of
stayed abandoned forever

till new owners came
along to fix it all up.

- It's gorgeous.
- Thank you.

It's too bad you're
not here in the summer.

There's a creek in the
back and on warm days,

you can just kind of
sit down in the water.

That's what I do.

So, you live here?

I just help the
owners manage it.

You're actually our
first renters. Oh, no.

Oh. Kate. Come on. Stop it.

I don't remember a
mention of a dog.

I think I mentioned it
in one of my messages.

We can put down a deposit?

It's fine. And are you gay?

What?

I'm thinking you're gay.

Yes. Is that okay?

That'll work. Come on in.

Oh, my God, the braid.

Is that a wig?

Is that two wigs?

This is for you.

Wine and a meat stick, yum.

And of course, corn.

You know what the best
thing about corn is?

Corn has dolls.

Aw, that's cute.

It's not a "that."
It's a little girl.

And some emergency numbers,
just in case. Like a snowplow.

It's late in the year for
snow, but you never know.

Oh! The Worm Moon is this
weekend, so that's cool.

Oh. Yeah.

The Wi-Fi password.

You'll want this.

What is it? "Ego sum tibi..."

You know, everything is
so complicated these days.

- I'll take that, yeah.
- And...

that's it.

Yeah, the router's downstairs
if there's any trouble.

Have a great time.

And good luck with the parents.

I hope they were
better than mine.

Mine were...

Okay, bye.

Okay.

I said we're gay and she
said, "That'll work."

Okay, she also said she
likes to squat in the creek.

I mean... Come on.

- What? No, Josh.
- Come on.

They'll be here any minute.

No, you said "later."

We'll be quick.

Oh! That's my phone.

Oh, God, here we go.

Hey, what's up?

This is a mistake. A bad idea.

I just have a feeling.

Also, where's your
goddamn corkscrew?

- Are you in our apartment?
- Come on.

What? Is she?

Yeah. You asked
me to watch Kate.

Yeah, and then I told you
we're bringing her with us.

Did you not notice there's
no dog in the apartment?

I just got here. I don't
know what I notice.

Just don't propose
to Josh this weekend.

Shake, shake. Shake, shake.

I can't help you with that.

Come here.

Are you fucking there?

What is your problem?

You loved the idea
two nights ago.

And now I'm sober.

You're gonna have a whole
parent meet-and-greet up there

- and you're also gonna...
- Ask him to marry me, yeah.

Ro, it's too much.

What's your rush?

I know you think Josh is all easy,
breezy, cover girl. But come on.

And I'm sorry,

when you get around your
parents, you become...

What? I become what?

It's just too much!

That's the point.

I planned everything
to be unforgettable.

Josh is the best thing
that's ever happened to me

and I just want my
parents to see that.

And when the time is right,

I'm gonna get down on a knee
and take out the ring...

- What are we talkin' about?
- Nothing.

Is she okay? Are you okay?

Yeah. No, everything's great.

Okay.

Oh, hi!

Hi. You're still here.

I know. I am.

I'm just measuring because the
sprinkler guy is coming next week.

So I need to measure,
so he can, you know,

put the little
hoses in the ground.

Measuring, measuring,
measuring, measuring...

done.

Six hundred units.

Okay. Officially
out of your hair.

Okay.

Good luck.

You'll need it.

Oops! Sorry.

A sprinkler system in the woods?

- Seems weird.
- Yeah.

Fuck!

No, no, no, no, no.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, what?

What? Is everything okay?

Yeah. No, nothing. I'm just...

I'm just really excited about
everything that's happening.

Look, before everyone shows up,

I wanted to ask you something.

Well, what is it?

I've been wondering

if...

maybe we don't tell my
parents that you got fired?

- Oh.
- It's not a big deal

and I know you kinda
got fired on purpose

so you could focus
on your music,

which I love and I'm
totally here for.

It's just, you know,
for first impressions.

Say I still work at REI?

Maybe.

Or not? I don't know.

I'm being weird. Don't
listen to me, okay?

Shit, they're here! Okay.

They are gonna love you so much.

- Yeah.
- I love you so much.

Do you need the hat?

- Okay, thank you.
- Okay.

All right. Here we go.

Hi.

- Hi. How are you?
- I'm excellent.

Welcome to Hazleton
Fields. Isn't this amazing?

I'm sorry, I'm talking
to your sister. Hold on.

- Oh.
- Yeah. I mean, we just got here.

I mean, the house looks nice.

We haven't been inside yet so,
you know, who knows, I mean...

Hang on a second.
Frank, it's Lyft.

- You don't pay.
- I know that, Sharon.

I do live in the modern world.

- Daddy!
- Rohan.

Welcome to Hazleton Fields.

Hello.

I mean, you knew that was
what you signed up for.

So, well...

I understand.

You, uh...

Trip okay?

You look healthy.

Thank you. You look good.

Well, I have to go. All right.

Your father needs me. Bye.

Sorry, I'm here.

Baby is chewing your
sister's nipples off.

- Nipples.
- I told her, yes,

that's why I skipped that.

It's one of the many
perks of adopting.

Well, I'm so glad
you both are here.

Tomorrow, the weather
is supposed to warm up,

so we're gonna take a
little stroll in a...

You know what?
I'm gonna save it

as a surprise. This
is gonna be good.

Well, it better be. The
trip was a nightmare.

Horrible.

But the house looks nice.

I mean, how are you
paying for this?

Who's this?

Hey! I'm Josh.

I'm so sorry. I forgot to...

- Oh, my God...
- It's okay. It's okay.

This is Josh.

It's so good to
finally meet you guys.

Okay. Whoa!

- Okay. All right. Okay.
- Kate, no...

- Okay.
- Come on, come here.

Come on. Sorry, we're beginning
to think she's a lesbian.

What?

Well, she just loves
the smell of...

The smell of what?

Joshua, have you met my father?

Daddy! Uh... Sir.

No.

- Hi.
- Wow.

You work out?

Huh?

Yeah.

Yes, I wish I had more
time to spend at the gym.

Do you work?

Yes, Dad. Joshua
works. Right, Josh?

Yes, I work at REI,

the largest seller of camping
and outdoor gear in America.

It's what I do now.

Oh! You must love the outdoors.

I'm also a songwriter.

That too.

Oh, great, great.

Okay, "Daddy."

So what do you think?

Of what?

Of Josh?

Well, we just met, didn't we?

Oh, my God. What were you
gonna say to my mother?

That Kate loves
the smell of pussy?

No! No, I don't know. I'm sorry.
I didn't know what to say.

You left me standing
there with your father

and he was just like...

"Rocking bod, Josh. Wow!"

Okay, that is not what he said.

He's just bad at
talking to people.

If you weren't wearing
that dumb tight shirt...

I'm sorry I don't have an adult
floor-length driving coat.

Did Mommy buy that for you?

Are you making
fun of my parents?

No, you!

Who was that?

I've never met that guy before.

Look, I'm stressed. My parents,

they want everything
to be a certain way.

- Like for me to be a woman?
- No.

- Are you sure?
- Yes. Shut up.

Yes, it's just...

I've never brought
a boy home before.

Ever?

There's never been anyone
important enough until now.

So, yes... I'm stressed.

I know what might help.

You brought drugs?

They're gummies, Ro.

They're the mango
ones that you like.

Come on, let's...

split one. Let's
calm your ass down.

No.

And you can't have any
either. I forbid it.

You forbid it?

I forbid it.

Yes, sir.

No fun, sir.

Hot cider and
Scrabble only, sir.

Be quiet, okay?

We're gonna have fun now.

Just no more pussy jokes
in front of my mother.

Fine.

But if your mother can't
appreciate a good pussy joke...

Excuse me.

I'm so sorry. Tell me
what to do 'cause I...

I saw it.

There's no turning back.

Hello!

Oh! Thank God. Mom.

Hey, hey! You made it.

It's cold as shit here. You
guys said it was gonna be warm.

Josh, this house.

Big enough much?

- Rohan, hi.
- Hi.

Heard you were a foodie,

so I made you my
special crazy noodles.

- Aye!
- Crazy noodles! Thank you.

Cliff, what are you doing?

- Say hi.
- I'm tying my goddamn shoe.

He's tying his goddamn shoe.

He's crazy.

He's driving me crazy.

Hi!

We are Sharon and Frank.

- Liddy.
- Hi, Libby.

No, it's "Liddy."
Like lid of a jar.

Short for "Lydia"?

It's actually short
for "Elizabeth."

Well, wouldn't that be "Libby"?

Well, it could be.

But, I'm Liddy.

So... Like the
canned vegetables.

That's "Libby's."

Call her whatever you want.

I'm Cliff, like, the
rock that you fall off,

break your neck and die.

- Hey!
- Hey!

- Good to see you, son.
- How was the drive?

Well, we were making good time,
and then we hit construction.

And we were stuck for,

I don't know. It was
probably... 30 minutes?

It'd been maybe
even more than that.

I mean, it was movin',
but it was slow.

I mean, we were crawling.

You know, five miles
an hour, maybe ten.

And we would speed up
and then slow down.

Speed up. Slow down.

- Might have been 50 minutes, actually.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Great, okay, that's the end.

Epic tale, Dad. Come on,
let's find your room.

- Okay.
- Wait, no,

I gotta... I have
to let the dogs out.

- Dogs?
- More dogs.

What dogs?

Okay.

- What are their names?
- Honey, I don't know.

She told me, but...

Frick, Frack, and
Fuck-If-I-Know.

Sorry.

The F-bomb. That's not me.

Okay, let's go.

In the house. Come on.

Goddamn annoying little fuckers.

I'm so sorry.

About what?

About what happened upstairs.

I don't know what you mean.

Okay, we're doing
that now. Cool.

Come on. It's not
supposed to snow.

This is just beautiful.

I know, right?

I don't know if I wanna do
breakfast in the sunroom

or in the dining room.

I can make tater tot casserole.

I just need tater tots.

That's okay, Liddy. I have
a whole thing planned.

Okay.

Rohan, would you get
me a glass of water

- so I can take these Advils?
- Yeah, of course.

I'd actually love a glass.

Didn't hear me.

Yeah.

So... Libby, what
do you and Clint do?

"Liddy." Yeah...

Cliff teaches math.

And we met because I was a
receptionist at the high school.

- How about you?
- Well, um,

Frank is an architect and I
am a retired psychologist.

Oh, wow, okay.
Yeah, that's neat.

And I did a little modelling
in the '80s, here and there.

Cliff actually did some
modelling in the '80s, too.

Huh. For who?

I'm just completely kidding.

- Can I have some ice?
- Yeah. I'm sorry.

You've got him trained well.

He is adorable.

He was so supportive of Josh
when he got fired from that...

No!

Did you say "fired"?
'Cause it's...

It's not... It's not right.

Honey, you got fired in May,
remember? And you said you were glad

'cause you could
work on your music.

Ooh! We're not talking
about that in front of...

Yeah. I'm dumb. Dumb mommy.

Just... I'm sorry.

So you don't work at a camping
store, but you do music?

- Yeah, I write songs.
- He writes songs.

Sad songs.

Sweet but sad.

Keep telling him, "Stop
making them so sad."

Anything I would have heard?

- No.
- Mom.

You answer.

No.

- Hmm.
- Yeah.

You wanna sing one of 'em?

That's what you do.

♪ Puppy dog eyes ♪

♪ You are killing
me With those ♪

♪ Puppy... ♪

♪ Dog... ♪

♪ Eyes ♪

So, what time is dinner?

Sorry, wrong room.

Oh. No problem.

You're in the room
down the hall.

This is me and Ro.

Well, yes. Yes, of course.

Well, unless you want this room?

- No, no, no, no.
- No, 'cause we can totally switch

'cause we haven't
even touched the bed.

We... To sleep. We...

In terms of sleeping, we
haven't touched the bed.

We haven't touched it at all.

You know, Ro likes it firm, and
me, I'll take it however I can...

I can get it.

That's good to hear.

Oh, my God.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Yeah.

Yep. Yep.

Yeah.

All right.

Really snowing.

Perfect night for a
yummy dinner at home.

What can I do?

Heat up the crazy noodles?

No. We can save
that for tomorrow.

Actually, once Josh's
done with the potatoes,

we'll be ready. Right, Josh?

- Josh?
- What?

Yeah.

Yeah, the potatoes are
ready. They're in the pot.

Here, Mom, go...

go have everyone sit in chairs.

Make sure that everyone
has their own chair.

That's very important.

Yeah, that's normally
what happens.

Okay.

You ready?

Yeah. No. I don't know.

Think I cooked the hens
for too long like an idiot.

No, they're beautiful
and perfect.

Let's go have the best
night of our lives.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Honey.

Yeah.

This chicken is so
tender, isn't it, Cliff?

- Very tender.
- Yeah.

Yeah, and I like how the...

Such a small chicken.

- Oh.
- I've got it.

Slippery?

Yeah. It's very slippery, yeah.

The potatoes are good.

Josh made them.

- Right, Josh?
- Yep. What?

You made the potatoes.

Yeah, yeah, I did.

Uh...

You know what they
say about potatoes.

"Everybody loves potatoes."

You know what this party needs?

We, we need some more wine...

for everyone.

- Thank you.
- And...

some music. Yeah?

Alexa, play Motown.

What?

The Internet's not working.

Where's the password? I
guess it was something

like..."Ego sum...

"tibi..."

Hmm?

Furnace.

- Yeah.
- Okay, well,

if Alexa's not
happening, then...

♪ Set me free why
don't you, baby ♪

♪ Get out my life ♪

♪ Why don't you, baby ♪

♪ 'Cause you... ♪

What's... I don't, I don't
know the rest of the words.

♪ 'Cause you don't
really love me ♪

♪ You just ♪

♪ Keep me hanging on ♪

Now what?

♪ Why don't you get
Out of my life ♪

♪ And let me start again ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Set me free why
don't you, baby ♪

♪ Get out my life
why don't you, baby ♪

♪ Yes, everybody ♪

♪ You don't really love me ♪

I found the Wi-Fi password.

It's "Ego sum tibi..."

Fuck!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Josh!

- What? What on earth?
- What happened?

Are you okay?

Yeah, there was
something under the table

- just grabbed me.
- It was just Kate.

No, no, no, no,
it was a little...

A little dirty-person hand.

A little dirty-person hand?

Yeah, well, he just
grabbed me under the table!

- A little dirty person did?
- What?

Someone's enjoying their wine.

That... That's...

That's nothing. Nothing.
Come on, come on.

What is that? A vitamin chew?
Is that what scared you, Josh?

No. No, no, no.

It's... I don't
know. That was...

Weird.

A little dirty-person's hand?

What on God's green?

I don't know.

He almost knocked
the china hutch over.

That is not normal.

So you don't like him?

What's with this Wi-Fi?
It's not working.

It is not whether
or not I like him.

It's just... I mean,
what is Rohan doing?

Josh lied about his
job, by the way.

I didn't tell you that.

He looked us right in
the face, and he said,

"Yes, I work at..."
whatever it was, "REY."

He does music.

Frank, anybody can do music.

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

I just did music.

Okay.

Yes, Josh is attractive,
but is that it?

I think you should talk to him.

To Josh?

I wouldn't know what to say.

To Rohan.

Well, no, no.

I wouldn't know what
to say to him either.

That's great. Good talk.

- Good night.
- Mmm-hmm.

Look, I'm sorry.

I messed up, but...

Don't be mad at me. Please.

♪ Don't be mad at me ♪

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Just, no more surprises.

Seriously. I want
them to like you.

I want them to like
me too. Do they not?

No, they do.

Just... I wish
you would maybe...

What was that?

I don't know. My dad said
it was the furnace, but...

Oh, my God, is that...

Please, God, no.

What?

You said you wanted your
parents to have a good time.

- That is not my parents.
- Yeah.

That is definitely
Cliff and Liddy.

No, my father cannot
move like that.

It is your mother
and your father.

No, it's not. Don't say that.

Your parents are fucking.

I have to say something.

Just ignore it.

How? It is relentless.

Well, what are you gonna do?

What... Just walk
in there and say,

"Please excuse me, but we
can hear you having, um...

- personal time."
- Personal time?

Well, you know what I mean.

Sexual interplay.

Oh, my God, Frank.

Libby's gonna be sore tomorrow.

Those pipes sure are loud.

If those are pipes, the
house is about to explode.

Well, then what is it?

Well, what do you think it is?

Well, I'd like it to be pipes.

Thank God.

He came.

Shut up.

Your mother's like...

"Frank, can you
get me a towel?"

Shut up, for real, okay?
I'm still mad at you.

No, you're not.

Oh, my God.

Round two?

Go, Frank! Go, Frank!

Joshua!

Hello?

Hello?

Thank you. I'm about to die.

What are you doing here?

You asked me to come, you bitch.

You asked her to come?

I texted, but I wasn't saying...

You texted a thousand
times and I'm here.

So, you're welcome.

I'm soaked.

Sara, it's like, after midnight.

No shit.

Can I please just go to my room?

I'll put on the big "charming
for the parents" show tomorrow.

Where are the rooms? Upstairs?

Kate, come sleep
with me. Come on.

Oh, God, the wallpaper
is everything.

Why?

Why would you do this to me?

I didn't think I was, but...

Hey, look, maybe
this is a good thing.

To have someone fun as a buffer.

Oh. God, Josh, my
mom can't stand her.

And she's just gonna make
everything about herself.

No, she won't.

What room am I in?

Jesus.

I got her.

- I got her.
- Yeah, you do.

I'm on a couch?

We ran out of bedrooms.

Then don't invite people.

- I didn't exactly invite...
- It's fine. It's fine.

Just go away.

It's fine.

I already had half a
bottle of Cabo on the train

and took my night-night
pills. It's fine.

What about those texts?

What text?

The proposal?

Oh. That was supposed to
be for my business manager.

Mmm-hmm.

There's a proposal for
a new office space.

Just act surprised.

Jesus.

Are you excited?

Yes. Yes.

Dinner was not good.

This totally fucked
up thing happened...

I know, I know, I know, I know.

Just stories tomorrow, okay?

Oh.

- What's the Wi-Fi?
- It doesn't really work.

Just tell me and
I'll figure it out.

It's like...

"Ego sum tibi" something.

Why is it Latin?

- What?
- It's Latin.

It means, "I give
you myself..."

or "Take me," or something.

How do you know Latin?

'Cause I'm smart.

Come to me.

"Ego sum..."

"tibi Andras."

Take me...

Andras.

I hope you like caviar, Cliff.

Doubtful.

Jeez, the snow's almost
up to the bird feeder.

Wow, my weather app was way off.

I know. I hope a plow shows up,
or we're never getting outta here.

Why? Where do we have to be?

Good morning. Look at
you, all spiffed up.

Is that cashmere?

♪ La-lee-la ♪

Let me get those, Mom.

Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Nice sweater.

Thank you. I got it from
this hot guy I know.

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning. You're
all dressed up too.

I didn't get the memo.

Am I? No, I just
rolled out of bed.

Well, look at all those taxis.

Yeah.

Gosh, there must be
thousands of them.

I don't know. That's a lot.

- Count 'em later.
- Yeah.

Did you sleep well? It was
kinda noisy last night.

- It was noisy.
- Yeah.

Yeah. Did you sleep okay?

Yes, fine. You?

I slept okay, yeah.

Yeah, I was a little worried.

Why?

Well, that's what a
vacation is for, isn't it?

To worry?

Where's Dad? He's usually
the first one out of bed.

Probably all worn out
from the, you know...

Cliff.

"Pipe noise."

I actually thought
he'd be down here.

He was gone when
I woke up, so I...

Maybe you should
check the bathroom.

Those little
chickens were tasty,

but they made me go
off like a rocket ship.

Okay, who wants a mimosa?

Yes! Now!

Oh, it wasn't a dream.
You're actually here.

Hi!

I'm Sara.

I'm Liddy.

I know all about
the famous Liddy.

Come here!

And I love these
taxis, you bad bitch.

Vroom! I stan.

I don't know.

And this handsome
devil must be Cliff.

Maybe.

Hi.

Oh, my God...

Sharon.

I didn't even recognize you.

Are you aging in reverse?

When exactly did you get here?

Late.

I couldn't miss the weekend
with my favorite boys

and the parents who made them.

Where's my guy, Frank?

Actually, we don't know.

I'm in here.

Frank?

Hi.

How long have you been here?

Forever.

All right.

Dig in, everybody.

Okay, who wants eggs?

Liddy, eggs?

- No.
- Yes.

Frank, eggs?

- No?
- Are you feeling okay?

I'm good.

Is there a knife?

- Knife for the bagels?
- Yeah.

There's a bread knife somewhere.

You are very pale.

Honey, will this knife work?

No. It's... Something
sharper. Like a bread knife.

Oh, Frank has it.

Oh, here you go, Josh.

Oh, shit!

- Frank!
- Oh, my God, Josh!

I'm so sorry.

- Are you okay?
- Well...

Honey, that's really bleeding.

- Yeah, yeah, it is.
- Frank, how did you do that?

I don't know.

I just meant to pass
it to him like this.

My God!

Dad, what are you doing?

Grab the knife, grab the knife!

- Yeah.
- He needs to go to a hospital!

Oh, my God. Is it that bad?

Yeah. Yeah, Ro, I think I
could use a stitch or two.

God, Dad, how did that happen?

I don't know.

Will someone please
make those dogs quiet?

Shut up!

- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God...

- Mom, Mom.
- Lift...

- Lift, lift!
- Josh, are you okay?

Ro, come on, what are
you doing over there?

Help me!

Oh, God.

Is it okay?

What am I gonna tell Karen?

I don't even know
which one this is.

How did that thing even fall?

Hi. Hi. We have an injury in...

Hello?

How can there be no
service anywhere?

In tall furniture like that,
you gotta anchor it to the wall.

Okay.

'Cause you put heavy stuff
on one of the top shelves,

and, you know, the
next thing you know...

Got it. Yeah, no, I know.

It's gonna fall over and crush
a small, annoying animal.

Okay. Thank you, Cliff.

Does it hurt?

Yes, of course. My
arm is slashed open.

He didn't mean it, Josh, okay?

Did he eat? Could it be low
blood sugar or something?

He is very out of it,
and he's dehydrated.

I put him in a hot
shower to wake him up.

Whoever gave him all that
champagne did not help.

Sorry, that was me.

Josh, I told you not to
do that. He barely drinks.

You know we had a
big day planned.

I'm sorry I ruined your big day

by making your father attack me.

It was an accident.

It was two deep accidents, Ro.

What are you crying about
now, ya fucking queers?

- Whoa!
- Frank, where is your towel?

Holy shit.

- He's hard as a rock.
- Don't look at it, Cliff.

Frank, what are you thinking?

- You gotta cover yourself up.
- No.

Look at it.

He's sleepwalking.

Frank, wake up!

Look at it!

- Yeah, we see it, pal.
- Look at it.

For God's sake!

Yes, we see everything.

Look at it!

For God's sake.

Dad, what's happening?

Oh, my God.

- He's having a stroke.
- A heart attack.

Dad, is it your heart?
Talk to me. Talk to me.

Does anybody have a goddamn
phone that will dial out?

Can you text?

- How do you text a hospital?
- I don't know.

Don't yell at me.
Who even are you?

The dog's out of the box.

This sucks.

Okay, Frank, Frank, hey.

We're gonna move you
to the couch, okay?

Don't touch me, you
chocolate munching poof!

- Hey, hey, hey, easy there.
- Chocolate what?

Dad, why are you
saying stuff like that?

This isn't you.

He's, he's sleepwalking.
Frank, cut it out!

We gotta get him
to the hospital.

I would also like to
go to the hospital.

Frank!

Frank.

Hello. What's happening?

- Who threw up?
- Well, you did.

You just got a little
sick. You just...

Oh, my God, you are burning up.

Dad, what happened?

- I need to lie down.
- Yeah.

I don't know why I'm here.

None of us do.

Yeah. Why don't you
take him upstairs?

Cliff and I will stay
here and clean up.

Oh, no! Oh, God.

Get out of here!

- No!
- Gross. Here, go on.

Oh, God.

You getting sick, honey?

No, I was just...
I was trying to...

Get away from there.

- Okay.
- Ugh!

Cliff, can you please just
go get some GD towels?

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Shit.

Do you know what you're doing?

I went to nursing school.

For a hot second.

That's dental floss.

Yes, and it's mint.
And it's all I have.

I'm sorry you got hurt, babe.

My dad...

Hates my guts? Yeah, no shit.

He just stabbed me and called
me a chocolate queer poof.

No, no, he would never say
anything like that, ever.

He just did!

He actually called you a
chocolate "munching" poof.

He's probably having
an aneurysm...

Or a mental breakdown.
I don't know.

I'm worried about
him. What do you want?

Worry about me, also?

I'm bleeding out
on the floor here.

Worry about me,
I'm your fiance...

I'm just gonna
start stitching him.

You told him.

- Why did you tell him?
- I didn't tell him anything.

You obviously did!

Not on purpose. Christ!

Is that why you took
your little gummy?

Because you knew I was gonna propose
and you needed to "mellow out, man"?

I took the little gummy,
the ones that you like,

because it's very
stressful, right?

Yeah... Watching
you make pancakes,

perfect little pancakes
for your parents...

And dressing me up like a...

Like a you.

This was supposed to be a fun,

exciting, romantic...

surprise.

Well, surprise.

Ro, I...

Ow! God. Shit.

Hello? Hi. Yeah. Is
this a plow company?

Can you hear me?

No, no, tomorrow
morning won't work.

We have people here
who are sick and...

Hello?

God damn it!

Hello? Yes. 911,

can you hear me?

Hello?

Jesus Christ.

Fuck you.

Shit. Okay.

I don't like your color.

Aren't you cold without a shirt?

I'm okay.

And your skin is so wet.

Did you shower?

Do you remember what happened?

Frank, are you listening?

I said I'm okay.

Well, would you
like some more tea?

I'm gonna get you some more tea.

I'm okay.

Why are you doing this to me?

Because you're a weak old
man who's amounted to nothing

and soon you'll be gone.

And there'll be only me.

No, no, no, no, no.

"No, no, no, no, no."

But, yeah.

You ought to be grateful.

You won't be alive to see
me eat your entire family

and shit out their bones.

I know that you'll be struggling
with the urge to fight me, to resist,

but I'll let you
into a tiny secret.

You're dead, already.

And you'll eat your own shit

for eternity!

Jesus Christ.

Jesus who?

Not familiar.

Hey, babe.

Hey.

I just came to tell you I found a
plow so we can all get out of here.

Great.

You fixed it.

Mr. Fix-It to the rescue.

Okay, Josh, if this
is about my dad, I...

It's not, actually,
it's about you.

How ever since we got
here, it's like...

you're just being...

Ever since we got here,
I've been what, exactly?

Tell me.

Can you stop playing that
stupid guitar for one second?

So now my music is stupid too?

My music career is
stupid too, now?

Josh, you don't
have a music car...

I don't have a what?

Josh.

No, Ro, say it. Just say it.

There's a woman in the corner.

What do you mean,
there's a woman in the...

Oh, no!

- Say something.
- To her?

Yes.

Hello.

Ma'am?

Uh, ma'am?

Did you come from outside?

Can we help you?

Ro! Ro!

Help me!

I am!

No, you're backing away!

What's happening?

- What is that?
- I don't know!

I can't get the lights on!

Well, then take off
the mitts, Liddy!

Yes.

See if you can find a shovel.

I'd do it myself, but I have...

I have pins in my hips.

I'm not sure I can move
in the snow like that.

That's convenient.

Plus, kinda happy where I am.

- Good to know.
- Yeah.

Warm.

Damn.

Find a shovel?

No, no, no, no!

It was the door?

She was right there.

She was right there,
and then she wasn't.

Same, same. Exact same for me.

Um...

Oh. Yeah.

He didn't have a fucking face.

She didn't either!

She didn't have a
fucking face either.

Rohan, what you are
saying makes no sense.

I'm sorry. Next
time I get attacked

by faceless people
wearing '80s clothes,

I'll make sure it makes
sense, okay? Just remind me.

She had '80s clothes too.

Shoulder pads.

Sara, I checked the garage
and there's nothing there.

No, there was.

That is my point. There
was something very there!

Liddy saw it too, Mom. Right?

Well, I saw a shape.

It was dark,

but it did look like something
was grabbing Josh's arm.

Yes.

Josh, I'm so sorry.

I was trying to fight
her off, I swear.

It's okay.

- I froze.
- I said it's okay.

- Did she have curly hair?
- Yeah. Yeah.

That's her, that's the lady.

And that football guy,
that's my garage ghost.

I'm sorry. I'm very confused.

"Letters on Demonology
and Witchcraft,

by Sir Walter Scott, 1830."

"Allie, I think I found a
solution to our problem.

Check out page 85.
Could be neat. Love, B."

- Who's B?
- What's on page 85?

"Andras."

Andr...

That is just part of
the Wi-Fi password.

Frank was saying it. "Andras."

- Then why is it in this book?
- I...

Here, go ahead.

"A... A marquis of Hell...

Andras is the sower of discord.

He is a controller of storms
and master of possession.

He has the body of a man
and the head of a raven.

He will seek a human host to
regain entry to our realm,

so it must be kept inside
the protective circle."

This is insane.

There are circles
all over this house.

"If allowed to cross the
circle while inside the host,

death will come to all." Ooh!

And there's this picture
over here. Are we done?

No, wait. It says...

"Checked out of the
library... 1983."

And if this box
belonged to Allie...

then maybe this is "B."

So, the fuck does that mean?

I think these girls
summoned a demon.

Okay, this is insane.

Sharon, there is something really
bad happening in this house!

And you managing
to only spit out

"This is insane"

- every other second...
- Hey.

Do you really think
Frank just has a fever?

'Cause if you do,
that is insane.

He tried to kill me.

Josh, that was an accident.

No, it wasn't.

Are you gonna let him
talk to me like that?

You cannot talk to me like that.

I am a retired psychologist.

Rohan said you
were tricky, but...

Oh, my God, I had
no fucking clue.

If you don't wanna
figure this out,

fine.

But I am not gonna stay here
and wait for them to come back.

- I'm gonna go.
- Where?

I don't know, Sharon.

I can't go anywhere because
there's 38 feet of snow...

And I'm stuck in a haunted
house with my fucking parents!

Okay, Sharon?

I knew I didn't like you.

I knew that too.

Josh.

See?

Discord.

Is he okay, though?

Maybe we should stick together.

I think I'll pass.

Don't take this the wrong
way, but I have been here

in the house with
everyone for a day,

and it feels like a year.

So I am going to go upstairs
and wait for the snowplow,

and bring Frank some
of these noodles,

which are "crazy"
for some reason.

Oh, no, it's just because of how

all the different
noodles look crazy...

laying there together.

Yeah, we say they're
like the UN of noodles.

All different kinds.

Right.

- And they're crazy good.
- Thank you.

Everyone is very angry.

Frank?

Oh, dear God.

Frank?

Are you hungry?

You want some lukewarm noodles?

Clumsy.

Thank you.

I was hoping you would
wanna eat something.

Thank you, Sharon.

I don't know what
I'd do without you.

Oh, well...

You know how much I
love you, don't you?

Well, what do you mean?

Rohan, too.

I'm just... Oh, God.

At times, I'm just...
I'm so absent.

I... There are things inside
my head I wanna say and I...

I just don't say them.

Well, that's okay, Frank.

You have to kill me.

What?

You have to kill me.

I...

Frank!

Frank?

Frank!

Frank, where are you?

I'll eat your soul!

Frank!

"'Till death do we
part." Right, dear?

Sharon!

This sissy boy
can't save you now.

Get off of her!

Holy shit.

Dad!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Hello, son. Ready for Hell?

- Mom, are you okay?
- I think so.

I don't feel so good.

Oh!

Fuck this.

Stay still.

Sharon, please...
I... You got it.

No, I don't got it! Did
you get some in your mouth?

No, no. My mouth was closed
the whole time. What...

What are you even
doing... No! No. No.

You're not gonna wash my
mouth out, okay? I'm fine.

It was a tiny bowl
of crazy noodles.

And then he turned...

It just kept coming out,
so there must have been

- something else...
- Mom, mom. Mom, you're tired.

Maybe just sit or something.

No. I... I have to
find your father.

I have to find Frank.

Sharon, we know where Frank is.

Yeah.

That's not Frank. I
don't know who that is.

Frank doesn't like to fly.

He would never just
fly around like that

and then try to kill me.

Mom, don't be scared.
It's gonna be okay.

I am fine. I don't get scared.

Do you remember
what I used to do

when you got scared
when you were little?

Yeah. Don't do that.

When you thought
there was a ghost

- in your closet.
- Yeah, I know. No.

I would go into his
room and do this.

That's terrifying.

Well, that was the point

'cause then he would
forget about the monster

'cause he was so worried...

about getting a visit
from the Robot Lady.

- Ping, ping, ping.
- Okay, stop, stop.

All right, stop. Stop.

It used to make you laugh.

- No, it didn't.
- Yes, it did. It still does.

Your father and
I would crack up.

He told me that we
have to kill him.

Hi. Yes, this is he.

You can? In an hour?

Okay. Amazing.

Yeah, yeah, we'll stay put.

Pack up your things,
we're getting out of here.

I don't know where the dogs
are. What am I gonna do?

Forget the dogs. You
already killed one anyway.

I didn't do it. It was Frank.

I was walking by
his room just now,

and he called me the C-word.

- Well, stay away.
- Drew it out really long

so I had to wait around to
figure out what he was saying.

Cu...

u...

Just stay away.

Okay, okay.

Now, where's Josh?

- He's guarding my dad.
- By himself?

Well, we're taking
turns. It's fine.

Nothing about this
place is fine.

I know.

I'm really sorry that I
brought any of you here.

This was not the plan.

I was gonna propose to Josh.

You guys were gonna
fall in love with me,

and my parents were gonna fall
in love with you and Josh.

And we were all gonna...

It was gonna be great.

It was supposed to be great.

That was the plan.

Well, it's a tall order
for a three-day weekend.

Hey.

Any sound from him?

No.

Not even breathing.

What?

With this crazy
situation we're in,

if something bad were to happen,

I just want to tell you...

What?

I think you're cool.

I love you and I
think you're cool.

I love you, too,
Dad. Thank you.

And here's a gun.

Dad, uh...

you brought a gun to meet my
boyfriend and his parents?

It's your uncle's. He made
me take it in case of bears.

I know he's a dumbass,
but we got a bear.

Thanks, Dad.

If you need anything, yell.

Oh, and, uh...

You want me to send
Rohan up, sit with you?

Okay.

Hi, Sharon.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I didn't know what
to do, so I'm doing this.

Okay. Do you have any more?

You know, Josh saved my life.

- Thank you.
- That little Dickens ran in there and...

- He's braver than he thinks he is.
- Yeah.

- You're very close.
- Yeah.

Like you and Rohan.

We were more when he was little.

I guess I was... We were
very hard on him growing up

because he's, he was, you
know, he was different.

Different, how?

You know, he didn't act
like the other boys.

He didn't look like the other
boys, especially where we lived.

So I told him, "When you are different,
people will treat you poorly."

I taught him to do
everything right

before anyone could
tell him he was wrong.

- I... Parenting is too hard.
- Yeah.

And I'm getting very drunk,
but this is very good.

- You want to have some more?
- No, we should stop.

We're gonna have to leave soon.

Come on.

Frank?

You in there? Can you hear me?

Frank, I want you
to know something.

Fucking queer.

Butt-lover.

No, I'm talking
to the real Frank!

And if you can hear me...

Your son's an idiot.

But I love him.

Even if this didn't
all really...

work out.

Because his dick is too small?

- Too small for your butt.
- Oh, my God.

The dick is fine, evil Frank.

Well, I'm looking at
the dad-dick right now,

and if the son-dick is
anything like the dad-dick,

the dick is small.

Does anyone else
wanna take a turn?

The plow did not show up.

I don't care what the
driver is telling you.

- Give it to me.
- We are staying put.

Can you please just send someone

- to get a plow over here?
- Give me the phone!

What are you doing?
Can you... Stop!

Hello? Hello?

They hung up. Thank you, Sara.

I said I would do it
because obviously you can't.

I told you this whole
thing was a bad idea

and now I'm stuck here.

You're not even
supposed to be here.

- No one invited you.
- I know that!

Jeez.

Are you crying?

I should have been invited.

I'm your family too.

You're gonna get married
and move to Teaneck.

And then you're
gonna have a baby

with a surrogate
who's gonna hate me,

with a nanny who hates me.

Just like your mom hates me.

And then I'm done.

I don't have family like you.

You're it!

Sara, I love you.

Ew!

I just don't know why
your mom hates me so much.

It's because the first
time you met her,

you said, "Hey, whore."

That's nice.

That's me being nice.

You don't like me.

Shut up, I do.

No, you don't.

You thought my taxis were weird.

What? I never.

I don't even know what
you're talking about.

And I like Josh, too, I do.

I just feel bad that I was rude.

I think maybe I didn't
even give him a chance.

I just don't want Rohan
to make a mistake.

You need to let
Rohan make mistakes.

He is not a child.

And if he's always trying
to be perfect for you,

then he is always
going to come up...

Sharon, that's a
demon dog! Kill it!

- How?
- I don't know. Just do it!

- Wait. Don't look!
- No!

Are you nuts?

Let me try, hold still!

What the hell is
going on in here?

- This!
- What?

Here. Here. Right here.

It's...

I'm gonna stick my
finger up its ass.

What?

- You ready?
- Yeah.

- Give me that.
- I got you.

Do not

fuck with

my wife!

Do not fuck with my wife!

Do not!

I think we got him.

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Yeah, honey, I'm okay.

It bit right down on
the bracelet you got me.

So it barely even
touched the skin.

I was... I was scared.

It's okay 'cause you saved me.

I did?

Yeah, you did.

Go wash your finger.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, Sharon.
We're having a moment.

No, not that. Look, I
think the plow is here.

- Oh.
- Well, you see it right there?

There's... The
headlight. Is it...

It's not moving. Wait,
that's not a plow, is it?

No.

It's another house.

- Who wants to watch Frank?
- I will.

Josh, wait.

Okay, this is the number for the
plow. Keep calling until they answer.

Hello?

I hope we don't get murdered.

Hello?

I don't like it in here.

Okay, well, maybe
they have a landline.

Or a chainsaw.

Six, six...

six, six.

Hi.

Hi.

I should have told
you I was down here.

I got stuck in the storm.

I didn't want to disturb
you and your parents

on your big weekend.

- How's it going?
- Bad.

You're not enjoying yourselves.

- No.
- Oh.

Brenda, your house is...

Drafty?

No, it's filled with...

- Charm?
- No.

Did you awaken a demon?

I thought it would take a few
renters to get the job done,

but you two just
walked right into it.

I was like,

this Wi-Fi thing is
never gonna work.

But then...

Voila.

The body he chose is weak.

I was hoping he would pick you.

Your body is...

Is that weird? I'm sorry.

What are you saying to us
right now? What is she saying?

That she set this all up?

I'm just following
instructions, but yes.

Seriously, drink the coffee.

He's not gonna be here
for another half hour

when the Worm Moon is full.

Excuse me.

Hello.

Well, the driver should
be there any minute.

What is your name?

Sara.

Just stay put, Sara, sweetheart.

What?

- I couldn't risk you leaving.
- Okay, we're going back...

No, no, no, no. I told
you, he's sleeping.

What about the others?

They're barely
more than shadows.

Just bang two pots
together and they'll run.

How did this happen?

It was sort of Allie's
idea, actually.

Is that the girl in
the Boy George shirt?

Yes, yes.

Allie was 15. She
was 16 at the most,

and she lived in this big farmhouse
with her mother and brother.

She was a dork.

I was too, I guess.

Although I was more of a spaz.

Actually, I was kind of cool.

And for whatever reason,
Allie's mother...

didn't approve of me.

She said I wasn't the kind of person
she should be hanging around with.

I mean, maybe she thought
we were experimenting.

Maybe it was because my parents
were heavily into the occult.

Whatever the reason, I was
just happy to have a friend.

But Allie was so
mad at her mom...

she wanted to get back at her.

She wanted to scare her.

And I was like, "Well, if you
really wanna scare someone,

what if we...

conjure a demon?"

That was your first idea?

I mean, I don't think either of
us really thought it would work.

But there we were, drawing
circles on the floor

saying weird words

and throwing chicken blood
around over our heads

and like something
was happening.

Allie?

Gimme a break.

Seriously?

What are you doing
in there anyway?

And suddenly, there's
this terrifying,

but really hot demon
in front of us.

Under our control.

Waiting to do our bidding.

And so, I said...

- "Get 'em."
- "Get 'em"?

- Get 'em!
- Get 'em.

- Get 'em.
- Get 'em?

And then he disappears.

I guess, to do just that.

And so we wait.

And then we hear her
brother screaming.

Then Allie says,
"What have you done?"

And I said, "What have I done? I
just did what you told me to do."

And she said, "Well, I just
wanted you to scare them."

And I was like, "Yeah,
this is pretty scary."

And then she said,

"Maybe my mom was right.

Maybe you're not the kind of person
I should be hanging around with."

And then before I
could stop her...

Allie stepped out of the circle.

And that's, like, the one thing

you're not supposed to do.

Because then the demon can

rip your face off,
eat your soul.

You're insane.

Maybe because I watched
three people being killed

by a demon who let me escape,

only to put voices in my
head every moment of my life

so that I would bring him
a suitable human vessel!

Maybe that's why I
seem a little off.

There are a ton of
rules involved in this.

Look, it has to be a Worm
Moon, et cetera, et cetera.

Help us.

If Andras is in your head,

you must know
something we can do.

No.

As soon as your father
invited him into his body,

the die was cast.

The host will cross

and Andras will become.

And the feast begins

and all will die.

Even you?

No, I'm his faithful minion.

It's a bad relationship.

It's my only one.

Okay, it's time to do this.

Um, I have to help
Andras cross the circle.

Wait, the circle you've been drawing
around the house with that stick?

Yes.

Isn't that weird that
was like yesterday?

Isn't that crazy?

What's with all the gay
stuff with him anyways?

He's old.

What are you gonna do? It's
a different generation.

Now, come on, let's do this.

Brenda, please.

There's nothing you can do.

What if the host can't cross?

- Like how?
- If the host

were dead.

No host, no cross.

What are you talking
about? That's my dad.

It doesn't work that way.

And besides, you
would never try that.

You're just a
couple of nice gays.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have to go to the bathroom.

You don't seriously wanna
kill my father, do you?

No, of course not.

I'm just trying to think
of something to do.

Well, obviously, we have
to take her out, right?

She's the guide or whatever.
We have to take down the guide.

Yeah, no, no, no,
no. You're right.

Yeah.

Okay.

When she comes out of the
bathroom, I'll grab her,

you punch her in the face.

What? I can't punch
somebody in the face.

Okay. Well, then, you can grab
her and I'll just punch her.

I grab? I can't grab.

Then you have to punch, Ro.

Sorry, I'm just freaking out, all
right? Just a little... I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry for what I said about
your music. I didn't mean it.

Fine, just hit my hand.

- Practice.
- You're so good, Josh,

but all you do is jam with Rob.

I mean, how are people gonna
know how good you are if

- all you do is jam with Rob!
- Ro! Ro, just hit my...

palm.

That's good.

- That was pretty good.
- Yeah, you got this.

- All right.
- Okay.

Let's fucking do this.

Okay.

She's in there, right?
She's in the bathroom?

- Fuck!
- Fuck!

Where's the snow?

Oh, my God, come on,
the Worm Moon is out.

- Yeah, but who took the snow?
- Who cares?

Who is this woman?

She's a friend of the demon.

She started going off and all
the snow just flew up and...

He's the controller of storms.

Son of a bitch.

Brenda, knock it the fuck off!

Josh!

Josh!

- Oh, my God!
- Damn it!

Josh!

What is she saying?

It's Latin.

You speak that, don't you?

Like, in high school.

She's saying something like...

"To those who... circle."

"Free the circle"? No, no.

"Freedom lies
outside the circle."

We have to stop him.

- Ro!
- We have to go.

And what exactly are
we supposed to do?

How do I know, Liddy?
Why don't you ask her?

She's busy.

Frank, no.

I know you can hear me.

Please, please stop this.

Mom, no, no, please
stay back, stay back.

Please, I...

Father, please, you
have to fight this.

"Father"?

Your father never wanted you!

I don't believe you.

God! Where's the gun?

I gave it to you, Sara.

- I left it somewhere!
- Where?

The kitchen!

Josh!

Where are we going?

You find somewhere to
hide. I have to stop him.

What? No! What
are you gonna do?

You can't do
anything. You saw him.

You are staying with me.

No, Mom, stop!

You always say that you
raised me to be strong enough

to stand up to anything.

Eventually, you
gotta let me do it.

What?

What is...

Where's Ro?

Where's the gun?

I lost it, okay?

"All will die."

The Wi-Fi password.

You weren't trying to hurt us.

You were trying to warn us.

Yeah, that didn't
come across at all.

You guys...

Well, Frank's awake.

Damn. He looks like shit.

He's possessed by
a demon, Cliff.

- Just stay back, okay?
- Okay.

We should go. Let's try to go.

Where are we gonna go, Liddy?

He's just gonna float around
and yak all over us again.

Josh.

Ro.

- What are you doing?
- I'm ending this.

Take this. Take it.

I love you. You
know that, right?

Ro, what are you doing?

You'll know what to do.

Hey, Brenda!

You really think this old
man can take over the world?

His body's weak as
shit. Look at him.

Let Andras come into me.

- What? No!
- What's he doing?

I've got the words right here.

Speak!

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Andras, I give you myself.

Tibi Andras.

Josh, now!

Ego sum tibi Andras.

- No!
- Come into me.

I'm hotter and a year younger!

Stop, you're confusing things.

We already have a volunteer.

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Ego sum tibi Andras.

He needs a host!

You guys!

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Tibi Andras.

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Holy shit!

- Ego sum tibi Andras.
- Ego sum tibi Andras.

Jesus crackers!

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Watch out for the Robot Lady.

What the hell is this?

Did it help?

No, honey, that wasn't
anything. Come with us.

I don't know what we're doing,
but it's doing something.

It's confusing him.

Get in a circle, guys,
come on. Just start...

Ego sum tibi Andras.

Ego sum tibi Andras.

- Ego sum tibi Andras.
- Sum tibi Andras.

- Ego.
- Sum.

- Tibi.
- Andras.

No, no, no, no, no!

You're killing him!

He needed a host.

He has to cross the circle.

We made our own circle, bitch.

Sorry, I don't like that
word. That's not me.

You killed him!

You can go home now, Andras.

My dick is big.

Ro...

You would do that for me?

You would do that for me.

Look what I found

in the grass.

How did that get there?

Ro.

Oh, my God.

Now, I know you like
to be in control

- of everything...
- Yes. The answer's yes.

Aw!

- I have to ask!
- Yes, Josh, yes.

I knew this was gonna happen.

I was in on it.

Yeah.

Kate. It's okay.

- Kate.
- We're not fighting.

We're happy.

- That's so nice.
- It is, is...

Ro...

I am sorry.

I am so, so sorry.

Dad, I knew it wasn't
you saying those things.

No, you didn't. Not completely.

And you should know how
much I care for you,

and how much I love you.

But if I don't tell you,

how would you know?

Dad...

If I don't tell you,
how would you know?

Oh, my God, this has been a lot.

Ro,

look.

Oh, my God.

Allie, we're free.

Andras can't hurt us anymore.

That was our joke.

We were always flipping
each other off.

That... It was very
big in the '80s.

I don't like this.

Did you see that?

- No.
- They just disappeared.

- Didn't see anything.
- You didn't see it?

I'm beat, so I'm
gonna scram. Phew!

Checkout's at 11:00.

You're going to
jail, you psychopath.

Write a review.

I have a review.

Suck my dick!

Sorry, that's... I'm
not myself this weekend.

♪ Set me free Why
don't you, babe ♪

♪ Get out my life
Why don't you, baby ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't
really Love me ♪

♪ You just keep
me Hanging on ♪

♪ Why don't you be
A man about it? ♪

♪ And set me free ♪

♪ Now you don't care
A thing about me ♪

♪ You're just using
me Hey, abusing me ♪

♪ Get out, get out of my life ♪

♪ And let me sleep at night ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't
really Love me ♪

♪ You just keep me hangin' on ♪

♪ Set me free Why
don't you, babe ♪

♪ Get out my life
Why don't you, babe ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't
really Love me ♪

♪ You just keep me hangin' on ♪

Why was he a bird?

Yeah, why was Andras a bird?

He was calling us names,
and he was a bird?

- Fuck you.
- Yeah, fuck you, dude.

You're a fucking bird.

- What the fuck?
- Get outta here!

Yeah, get the fuck
outta here, Andras.

Go be a bird somewhere else.

Fuck.

It wasn't all bad, though.

You said yes.

I can't believe I saw
my dad's hard co...