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1
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:14,521
Martin? Will you do me the honour of being my best
man? I'm going to ask Harriet to marry me. What?
2
00:00:15,013 --> 00:00:17,573
I'm glad he's making an honest
woman of you. He's a lucky man.
3
00:00:18,548 --> 00:00:21,098
Is he? Why did you dump me then?
4
00:00:21,107 --> 00:00:24,986
It is a bit quick and I want you to be sure
that you're doing the right thing. Thanks.
5
00:00:24,987 --> 00:00:27,346
I'd better go because I'm on
a stag do for a wedding
6
00:00:27,347 --> 00:00:28,764
that nobody believes in.
7
00:00:49,707 --> 00:00:51,107
You got rid of him then?
8
00:00:51,107 --> 00:00:52,786
That bloke was a ticking time bomb.
9
00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:56,306
No. Filling in
for him. Still here.
10
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:57,746
Oh.
11
00:00:57,747 --> 00:00:59,027
I'm doing him.
12
00:00:59,027 --> 00:01:00,306
You what?
13
00:01:00,307 --> 00:01:03,386
I love this divorce.
Living in my shop's epic.
14
00:01:03,387 --> 00:01:05,987
My commute is like three seconds.
15
00:01:05,987 --> 00:01:07,626
Why did you take your trousers off?
16
00:01:07,627 --> 00:01:10,346
False widow spiders.
It's just a precaution.
17
00:01:10,347 --> 00:01:14,347
You all right?
Yeah, all right?
18
00:01:16,547 --> 00:01:18,306
I'm proud of you, Mart.
Yeah?
19
00:01:18,307 --> 00:01:19,866
Yeah. You stood up for yourself.
20
00:01:19,867 --> 00:01:22,426
You're not scared
that you pissed off your fiancee.
21
00:01:22,427 --> 00:01:26,066
You're not scared of starting a marriage on
the wrong foot with a non-religious ceremony
22
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,747
against her family's wishes and
you've held on to your foreskin.
23
00:01:28,748 --> 00:01:32,747
That's all in your best man's speech, is it?
No. I won't mention she gave you Chlamydia.
24
00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:37,067
No, you can leave that out. You've come a long way
since I met you. Gained a son, a wife, a career.
25
00:01:37,787 --> 00:01:41,787
I've lost a wife, son,
this isn't much of a career.
26
00:01:41,907 --> 00:01:43,786
I'm losing customers,
27
00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:46,266
which I can only think is
because of the recession.
28
00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:47,706
You still seeing your shrink?
29
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:50,506
No, knocked her on the head.
I'm cured of my paranoia now,
30
00:01:50,507 --> 00:01:53,306
plus I think she was telling
her other patients about me.
31
00:01:53,307 --> 00:01:55,027
No, my therapy is painting.
32
00:01:55,028 --> 00:01:56,147
Still doing that?
33
00:01:56,147 --> 00:01:58,186
Am I?
34
00:01:58,187 --> 00:02:00,106
Nah. I can't wait.
35
00:02:00,107 --> 00:02:02,867
I want to show you something.
I've done you a painting.
36
00:02:02,867 --> 00:02:06,867
Wedding present. It's you,
Harriet and Steven on holiday.
37
00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:09,506
Ha...
38
00:02:09,507 --> 00:02:12,706
Wow! That is brilliant.
39
00:02:12,707 --> 00:02:16,266
Which one's me?
40
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,986
When you move into her place,
you can have it up in the lounge.
41
00:02:18,987 --> 00:02:20,226
We could.
42
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:24,227
Happy family.
43
00:02:24,427 --> 00:02:28,427
I remember that day. My costume was very
itchy and I was not in the best of moods
44
00:02:29,827 --> 00:02:32,786
as the catering team had run out
of Scotch eggs.
45
00:02:32,787 --> 00:02:36,146
I liked
doing the scene with all the gadgets.
46
00:02:36,147 --> 00:02:39,426
Sometimes they let me
take the props home
47
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:43,427
and I just put them in my memory tin
and go sigh at the sunset.
48
00:02:43,907 --> 00:02:47,907
When we filmed this scene,
it was the make-up lady's birthday
49
00:02:48,947 --> 00:02:51,546
and somebody had got her a cake.
50
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:52,866
It was very dry.
51
00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:55,506
Thought you was meant to be packing?
52
00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:59,507
Yes, I am packing.
53
00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:01,986
I don't want you to leave.
54
00:03:01,987 --> 00:03:05,306
I thought you were all excited about
turning this into a zumba studio.
55
00:03:05,307 --> 00:03:07,146
I went to zumba, couldn't do it.
56
00:03:07,147 --> 00:03:11,147
Harriet swears by it.
Why are you all dressed up?
57
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:15,226
I'm not.
58
00:03:15,227 --> 00:03:19,227
She scrubs up all right that old Jean,
bit of the old war paint on.
59
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:22,106
Trying to get some bloke
to notice her, I'll wager.
60
00:03:22,107 --> 00:03:26,107
Get packing, you!
61
00:03:42,147 --> 00:03:43,906
There you go.
62
00:03:43,907 --> 00:03:47,666
No more living in that tiny
flat crummy roomy.
63
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:48,906
Yeah.
64
00:03:48,907 --> 00:03:51,786
Do you reckon you'll get all
your belongings into that cupboard?
65
00:03:51,787 --> 00:03:54,346
Yeah. As long as we can
close the door on it all,
66
00:03:54,347 --> 00:03:58,347
it doesn't matter if it's piled up.
67
00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:01,146
Hey, there was something
your brother said on the stag do,
68
00:04:01,147 --> 00:04:02,906
just wanted to ask you about.
69
00:04:02,907 --> 00:04:06,866
He sort of said you knew
Nigel Lord before you met me.
70
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:08,466
Well, I did know him a bit.
71
00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,946
Didn't think it was worth
mentioning.
72
00:04:10,947 --> 00:04:13,386
Sounds like you knew him quite well.
73
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:17,387
We've all got a past, Martin.
74
00:04:18,307 --> 00:04:19,386
Yeah, I know.
75
00:04:19,387 --> 00:04:21,786
I just thought we were meant
to be honest, you know.
76
00:04:21,787 --> 00:04:24,546
Just made me think, because
you're into my voices and that,
77
00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:26,986
that maybe you had a thing
for impressionists.
78
00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:28,946
Oh, shall we talk about honesty?
79
00:04:28,947 --> 00:04:31,586
Because you told me
that that was a family heirloom
80
00:04:31,587 --> 00:04:35,587
when you really found
it in a pile of old sewage.
81
00:04:35,747 --> 00:04:37,026
Yeah, well...
82
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,386
I don't give a shit about Nigel.
83
00:04:39,387 --> 00:04:41,146
I invited him to the wedding.
84
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,066
What?
85
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:47,067
God. OK, yeah, that's fine.
86
00:04:48,027 --> 00:04:51,026
You're not having second thoughts,
are you?
87
00:04:51,027 --> 00:04:53,826
No. I can't wait for us
to be a family.
88
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:57,827
You really hurt me, talking about
Nigel Lord like that.
89
00:05:02,107 --> 00:05:05,866
Harriet,
my angel, light of my life.
90
00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:07,826
I don't want to hurt you.
91
00:05:07,827 --> 00:05:10,826
I just want to bash your brains in.
92
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:12,506
God, I love Jack Nicholson.
93
00:05:12,507 --> 00:05:13,906
Yeah, did Nigel do...?
94
00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:17,907
Not as well as you.
95
00:05:20,707 --> 00:05:23,186
Hang on. Look at all that dust.
96
00:05:23,187 --> 00:05:26,666
Where? There in the sunlight,
loads of dust. Hoover it.
97
00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:28,706
You want me hoover beams of sunlight?
98
00:05:28,707 --> 00:05:32,707
Yeah. It's come off
all your rubbish.
99
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,346
This is nice.
100
00:05:34,347 --> 00:05:37,306
Not allowed to drink coffee
on the sofa at Harriet's.
101
00:05:37,307 --> 00:05:39,306
How's your pain au chocolat?
102
00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:42,146
Oh, a little dry.
I'll save it for the ducks.
103
00:05:42,147 --> 00:05:44,186
Do ducks like them?
Don't know.
104
00:05:44,187 --> 00:05:48,187
Not everyone's cut out for the finer things in
life, but you've got to give a bit back, ain't you?
105
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:51,506
Ducks mate for life, you know.
They seem happy.
106
00:05:51,507 --> 00:05:54,826
Oh, you don't.
Sure you want to get married?
107
00:05:54,827 --> 00:05:57,746
Yeah. It's just the money.
108
00:05:57,747 --> 00:06:00,026
I mean, it'll be good for Steven.
109
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,586
Be all right for me.
110
00:06:01,587 --> 00:06:03,826
Anyway, what was this thing
you were going to tell me?
111
00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:05,986
You're still coming to the wedding,
right.
112
00:06:05,987 --> 00:06:07,826
I need people to stick up for me.
113
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:11,626
Yeah, I'm coming.
But I won't be drinking.
114
00:06:11,627 --> 00:06:15,627
Mm? Bought a car?
115
00:06:15,947 --> 00:06:17,546
Pregnant.
116
00:06:17,547 --> 00:06:20,506
Oh, shit. Congratulations.
117
00:06:20,507 --> 00:06:23,186
Oh, you're the first person
I've told. Me?
118
00:06:23,187 --> 00:06:26,666
You know you can't get pregnant from
sharing packed lunches with men.
119
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:30,667
Oh, no, shut up, no.
No, I've been seeing this bloke.
120
00:06:31,147 --> 00:06:33,506
No, he's nice and that, but...
121
00:06:33,507 --> 00:06:36,946
You haven't told him. Don't know
what I want to do about it.
122
00:06:36,947 --> 00:06:38,226
If I want it.
123
00:06:38,227 --> 00:06:42,066
Well, all I can say is
I absolutely love parenthood.
124
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:46,067
I get an e-mail every fortnight.
I get...
125
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,786
Don't know if I want to be a parent.
126
00:06:48,787 --> 00:06:51,506
And I ain't ready.
No-one ever is, Chels.
127
00:06:51,507 --> 00:06:53,026
Look at parking.
128
00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:56,546
You know, it goes disabled, parent
and child then everybody else.
129
00:06:56,547 --> 00:06:59,506
Being a parent is halfway to being
disabled in society's eyes.
130
00:06:59,507 --> 00:07:00,706
Right.
131
00:07:00,707 --> 00:07:03,306
I ain't being out of order.
I am disabled.
132
00:07:03,307 --> 00:07:06,426
You should definitely tell
the father of your baby.
133
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,186
Don't leave him out of it.
134
00:07:08,187 --> 00:07:12,187
If I have it, you be the godfather?
135
00:07:19,107 --> 00:07:21,906
It is an offer I can't refuse.
136
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:25,907
What?
137
00:07:26,907 --> 00:07:29,266
Have you got some bedding
downstairs?
138
00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:32,946
Yeah. Harriet insisted I bring some.
139
00:07:32,947 --> 00:07:35,266
I can't believe I'm back here
so soon.
140
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:38,386
Mm. Well, it's tradition.
141
00:07:38,387 --> 00:07:41,906
You're not supposed to see her
or the dress before tomorrow.
142
00:07:41,907 --> 00:07:45,907
I've seen the bloody price tag
for the dress. Blimey!
143
00:07:46,187 --> 00:07:48,706
You all right for money? Sort of.
144
00:07:48,707 --> 00:07:52,666
If we have a really nice honeymoon, hopefully
she'll forget all about the wedding.
145
00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:55,186
She doesn't know how lucky she is.
146
00:07:55,187 --> 00:07:59,187
Did you bring the forks
to eat the last bit? Yeah.
147
00:08:06,627 --> 00:08:09,466
I'm surprised she don't like
all your clever material.
148
00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:11,026
She went to that Oxbridge.
149
00:08:11,027 --> 00:08:13,626
Thought she'd like your stuff
about Orville.
150
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,666
Orwell! Orville's like...
151
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:19,226
I wish I could fly.
152
00:08:19,227 --> 00:08:23,227
Oh, oh. You should do him.
I love him.
153
00:08:23,987 --> 00:08:26,106
He had a nappy on.
154
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:29,466
I can't.
155
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,186
Aw.
156
00:08:32,187 --> 00:08:36,187
Aw.
157
00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:46,986
Martin?
158
00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:50,987
Yeah?
159
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,907
Do you want to sleep in my room
like old times?
160
00:08:57,907 --> 00:09:01,226
You don't have to
sleep on the floor.
161
00:09:01,227 --> 00:09:05,227
No, doesn't feel right.
Getting married in the morning.
162
00:09:05,907 --> 00:09:07,266
Not appropriate.
163
00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:10,186
Suppose so.
164
00:09:10,187 --> 00:09:14,187
Night, Martin.
165
00:09:16,907 --> 00:09:20,907
Night.
166
00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:47,187
Funny how things work out, isn't it?
You look very nice.
167
00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:51,186
This isn't exactly how
I saw my wedding day being.
168
00:09:51,187 --> 00:09:53,506
I thought you might be here
to tell me to stop,
169
00:09:53,507 --> 00:09:55,226
that I'm marrying the wrong man.
170
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,746
No, I'm just here
for the food and drink.
171
00:09:57,747 --> 00:10:01,747
And the celebration of the love.
172
00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:07,067
Look, there is something
I need to tell you. What?
173
00:10:08,707 --> 00:10:12,707
I had Chlamydia. I have to tell
all my old partners.
174
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,947
Thank you.
175
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:22,826
You look lovely.
176
00:10:22,827 --> 00:10:26,827
Thank you.
177
00:10:31,827 --> 00:10:33,666
You all right?
178
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,786
Underwhelmed.
179
00:10:35,787 --> 00:10:37,826
That's just nerves.
180
00:10:37,827 --> 00:10:40,586
There isn't even a side room
where I can hide.
181
00:10:40,587 --> 00:10:43,546
You're not meant to have seen
the dress until the ceremony.
182
00:10:43,547 --> 00:10:46,706
Look, Harriet, I'm sorry this isn't
the dream wedding you had in mind
183
00:10:46,707 --> 00:10:49,306
when you were a little girl,
but you're not a little girl.
184
00:10:49,307 --> 00:10:51,106
I'm younger than you, Martin.
185
00:10:51,107 --> 00:10:55,107
That's not what I meant.
Come on, Harriet, I've done my best.
186
00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:59,467
I know. That's what makes it
so depressing.
187
00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:06,467
Oh, Harriet, you look so beautiful.
188
00:11:07,027 --> 00:11:11,027
So do you. Your dress probably
cost more than mine.
189
00:11:19,827 --> 00:11:22,546
Thanks for coming, Glen. I know
it's against your dad's wishes.
190
00:11:22,547 --> 00:11:25,066
Hey, I'm here
to give my sister away.
191
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:28,506
And to see me again.
Yeah, that goes without saying.
192
00:11:28,507 --> 00:11:31,786
This is Harriet's brother, Glen.
This is my mum.
193
00:11:31,787 --> 00:11:34,746
It's a pleasure.
194
00:11:34,747 --> 00:11:36,706
Dad's the official photographer.
195
00:11:36,707 --> 00:11:40,266
Oh, and my father doesn't really
want me to be here today
196
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:44,267
so kind of shoot round me. Oh, OK.
197
00:11:49,947 --> 00:11:52,026
Your finger is over the lens.
198
00:11:52,027 --> 00:11:53,426
Oh, yeah, sorry.
199
00:11:53,427 --> 00:11:56,346
Have you done that all the time?
Let me see them pictures.
200
00:11:56,347 --> 00:12:00,347
Last chance to run away. Harriet's
friends are all right, aren't they?
201
00:12:00,348 --> 00:12:03,506
I've told them individually about
my divorce, that it's finalised,
202
00:12:03,507 --> 00:12:06,143
so will you go along with that?
Yeah, cool.
203
00:12:40,087 --> 00:12:43,366
He has, hasn't he? Yeah.
What? He's buggered off.
204
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:46,847
Oh, great.
Do I keep taking pictures or what?
205
00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:49,985
Yes, keep taking pictures.
I know where he'll be.
206
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,106
Me too.
207
00:12:51,193 --> 00:12:53,832
This is a big place.
Let's split up.
208
00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:57,833
Not of us!
209
00:13:05,713 --> 00:13:09,233
Come on, mate,
you can't stay in here for ever.
210
00:13:09,233 --> 00:13:13,233
If you can't go through with it,
you don't have to force yourself.
211
00:13:13,873 --> 00:13:17,873
Feels wrong, don't it?
212
00:13:18,593 --> 00:13:22,593
I can see your feet, mate.
213
00:13:23,153 --> 00:13:27,112
Look, Martin...
214
00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:30,552
..I don't want you to get married.
215
00:13:30,553 --> 00:13:33,792
I love you.
216
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:36,832
I'm in love with you.
217
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,872
I think you've got the wrong person.
218
00:13:38,873 --> 00:13:42,873
Martin, this is not the time
for voices. I'm serious.
219
00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:48,633
I love you.
220
00:13:50,753 --> 00:13:52,352
Who are you?
221
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:54,752
I'm the registrar.
I'm doing the wedding here today.
222
00:13:54,753 --> 00:13:57,792
Oh, right. Just forget
everything I've just said.
223
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,512
Sorry, I...
224
00:13:59,513 --> 00:14:03,513
I'm very emotional. Sorry.
225
00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:04,992
Do you mind? I need to...
226
00:14:04,993 --> 00:14:08,272
Oh, right. Sorry.
227
00:14:08,273 --> 00:14:12,273
Bloody hell, mate,
what have you been eating?
228
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:24,592
Martin? How'd you know I was here?
229
00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:27,552
You've been running away
and hiding in toilets since you...
230
00:14:27,553 --> 00:14:29,392
Since you could walk.
Dad's here as well?
231
00:14:29,393 --> 00:14:31,632
You all right, son?
Hi, Dad.
232
00:14:31,633 --> 00:14:34,232
If you don't want to go through
with this, you don't have to.
233
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:35,392
We can all just go home.
234
00:14:35,393 --> 00:14:37,112
No-one will think any of the
less of you.
235
00:14:37,113 --> 00:14:39,312
I'm doing this for Steven.
He's feeling homesick.
236
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,952
He's coming home from travelling.
He needs a family.
237
00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:45,872
Martin, doing this won't bring
his mum back. He'll understand, love.
238
00:14:45,873 --> 00:14:47,912
What do you want, though, Martin?
239
00:14:47,913 --> 00:14:51,472
We love you. And if Harriet isn't
happy with you then,
240
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,992
well, she doesn't deserve you.
241
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,512
She's turned my life around.
I'm doing stand up.
242
00:14:56,513 --> 00:14:57,712
I'm a performer now.
243
00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,992
Well, it's not very you, is it?
244
00:14:59,993 --> 00:15:03,712
What? You idiot!
245
00:15:03,713 --> 00:15:06,832
It is me actually.
I'm not hiding in toilets any more.
246
00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:09,152
I'm gonna go out there
and I'm gonna marry Harriet,
247
00:15:09,153 --> 00:15:11,472
and be a real
man for once in my life.
248
00:15:11,473 --> 00:15:14,632
Hold it.
249
00:15:14,633 --> 00:15:18,112
Lovely.
250
00:15:18,113 --> 00:15:19,873
Kevin,
you've got no sense of occasion.
251
00:15:19,873 --> 00:15:23,873
What? It's a nice picture.
252
00:15:41,713 --> 00:15:45,232
Is there any reason that these two
people should not be wed?
253
00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:49,233
Speak now or forever
hold your peace.
254
00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:56,113
Then I pronounce you husband
and wife.
255
00:15:56,113 --> 00:16:00,113
You may now kiss the bride.
256
00:16:14,713 --> 00:16:16,192
Hello.
257
00:16:16,193 --> 00:16:19,352
I'm Neil, Martin's best man.
258
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:23,353
Not the first choice but most of his
friends are women and his son's
259
00:16:23,593 --> 00:16:27,593
out of the country, so,
still an honour, still an honour.
260
00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:30,672
I knew Martin before he met Harriet.
261
00:16:30,673 --> 00:16:34,673
He was under confident, he shambled
around looking at the floor,
262
00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:38,753
he had no prospects at all, and he
had hidden his talent under a bush.
263
00:16:41,593 --> 00:16:45,272
Then his son Steven came along
and that got him out of his shell,
264
00:16:45,273 --> 00:16:48,472
through shame
mostly at his wasted life.
265
00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:52,473
But it was Harriet who pushed him
266
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,072
and manipulated him
267
00:16:55,073 --> 00:16:59,073
and pressured him into following his
and her dream
268
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:04,753
of being a live performer and voice
artist doing his impressions.
269
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:14,552
She also gave him other things
but they've cleared up now.
270
00:17:14,553 --> 00:17:17,112
Only joking.
271
00:17:17,113 --> 00:17:21,113
And he, in return, gave her
a ring that he had found in a drain.
272
00:17:23,393 --> 00:17:27,393
But seriously, guys, congratulations,
and my advice would be to
273
00:17:27,993 --> 00:17:31,993
live every day like it is your last
day together because it could be.
274
00:17:34,913 --> 00:17:38,752
I came downstairs one morning to
a goodbye letter
275
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:42,753
and an empty house,
and now I live in a shop.
276
00:17:45,593 --> 00:17:47,912
I live in a shop.
277
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:51,873
Thanks, Neil. Thanks, mate.
Cheers. Neil.
278
00:17:55,193 --> 00:17:59,193
Now, can I be the first to say you
look beautiful, Mrs Hurdle.
279
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:10,353
Harriet's not actually
taking my name but I can say that
280
00:18:10,953 --> 00:18:13,152
cos I know it winds her up.
281
00:18:13,153 --> 00:18:15,912
What most of you don't know
is that Harriet
282
00:18:15,913 --> 00:18:19,913
and I have other names,
pet names for each other.
283
00:18:20,393 --> 00:18:24,393
If you don't know already,
I'm Kermit and she's Miss Piggy.
284
00:18:26,993 --> 00:18:29,712
So in the words of Kermit the Frog
285
00:18:29,713 --> 00:18:33,713
who says it far better than I could
ever, now this is for you, Harriet.
286
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:39,633
It's not easy being green,
seems you blend in with
287
00:18:39,913 --> 00:18:43,392
so many other ordinary things.
288
00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:44,872
People tend to pass you over
289
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:48,873
cos you're not standing out
like flashy sparkles in the water.
290
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:55,713
But green is the colour of spring
291
00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:58,912
and green can be cool and friendly
292
00:18:58,913 --> 00:19:02,913
like... and green can be big like an
ocean
293
00:19:03,713 --> 00:19:07,312
or important like a mountain.
294
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:11,032
Or tall like a tree.
295
00:19:11,033 --> 00:19:13,353
Cheers.
296
00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:26,713
Hey.
297
00:19:27,953 --> 00:19:30,872
What's the matter? Nothing.
298
00:19:30,873 --> 00:19:34,112
I don't have to be a body language
expert to know something's up.
299
00:19:34,113 --> 00:19:36,352
What was wrong with my speech?
300
00:19:36,353 --> 00:19:40,353
Nothing. I thought
you were gonna do voices.
301
00:19:40,993 --> 00:19:42,152
It was a bit Kermit-heavy.
302
00:19:42,153 --> 00:19:44,832
That's what my friends will remember
now for ever
303
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,992
about my wedding day,
that silly poem.
304
00:19:46,993 --> 00:19:48,512
It was meant to be nice.
305
00:19:48,513 --> 00:19:50,792
What does it matter
what your friends think?
306
00:19:50,793 --> 00:19:53,232
I'm the one with the Kermit
tattoo that will last for ever.
307
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,512
I just think you should have
done your voices.
308
00:19:55,513 --> 00:19:58,712
Attenborough, Morgan Freeman,
Jack Nicholson.
309
00:19:58,713 --> 00:20:00,712
Everyone would have loved that.
310
00:20:00,713 --> 00:20:04,272
Sorry.
311
00:20:04,273 --> 00:20:07,073
Everyone, the wedding car's here.
312
00:20:22,593 --> 00:20:24,232
What's this?
313
00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:26,632
Only a stretch limousine.
314
00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:28,272
Seriously, Martin?
315
00:20:28,273 --> 00:20:30,632
Yeah. Nothing
but the best for Mrs Hurdle.
316
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:34,032
Stop saying that.
What's the matter?
317
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:38,033
I said classic car.
Jesus, everyone's look at it.
318
00:20:39,033 --> 00:20:40,592
This was really expensive.
319
00:20:40,593 --> 00:20:44,312
Who did you think you were marrying?
Katie fucking Price?
320
00:20:44,313 --> 00:20:47,072
This thing's got a TV in it
and champagne.
321
00:20:47,073 --> 00:20:51,073
Martin...
322
00:20:54,873 --> 00:20:56,392
They had a pink one.
323
00:20:56,393 --> 00:21:00,393
I didn't get a pink one.
324
00:21:24,153 --> 00:21:26,792
Mm, this isn't champagne.
325
00:21:26,793 --> 00:21:30,192
No, it's sparkling wine.
326
00:21:30,193 --> 00:21:33,153
Sorry, love birds.
I need to stop for petrol.
327
00:21:33,153 --> 00:21:34,712
I won't be long.
328
00:21:34,713 --> 00:21:38,712
Seriously. He couldn't have
gone before he picked us up.
329
00:21:38,713 --> 00:21:42,713
And he said, "Love birds."
330
00:21:43,673 --> 00:21:45,512
Kiss?
331
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:49,513
Selfie.
332
00:21:55,753 --> 00:21:59,753
He's only stopping for petrol.
He won't be long.
333
00:22:10,313 --> 00:22:14,313
Where is this guy?
334
00:22:15,633 --> 00:22:19,633
Right, well, seeing as he's taking
ages, I'm gonna get some chewing gum.
335
00:22:19,634 --> 00:22:21,273
Will you get me a Bounty?
336
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:24,134
No. You don't
need chocolate, Martin.
26077
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